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A Singular Life: Perspectives on Being Single
A Singular Life brings together essays from sixteen Latter-day Saint women - all single and ranging in age from the late twenties to the late fifties. Each has come to an acceptance of her situation and has refused to let it hamper her personal and spiritual progression. All have developed their talents and established careers that are satisfying and rewarding. They address issues ranging from making effective decisions to taking responsibility for enjoying life alone. They share their feelings on being single in a church that emphasizes marriage and family as essential for exaltation.
Hardcover
First published January 1, 1974
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
October 11, 2017
"Though a career may not be the single woman's first choice, yet she goes forth to slay her own dragons each day and returns to her castle alone each night." (Jeanie McAllister, A Singular Life: Perspectives on Being Single by Sixteen Latter-day Saint Women, Deseret Book, 1987.)
This book was published thirty years ago and is now out of print, yet, its relevance to the 21st century single woman in the church astonished me. Deseret Book, with over 50% of women in the church all in the same boat, you need to either reprint this or put out a similar book. Include a few single men's perspectives too; IF you can find any. We NEED more resources like this on how to cope in a church that is so good at making singles feel so guilty about not being married.
None of these women hesitate to admit this single/nevermarried state was NOT their first choice. The recurring theme in each essay was the same. When it comes to personal growth and progression, singles in the church have the same trials and challenges as the marrieds. Words like "awkward," "frustrating," "heartache," "longing," "loneliness," "yearning" don't even begin to describe the unique experience singles face in the day-to-day living of this less-than-ideal life so contrary to what the church teaches.
By the way, Sheri Dew and Kristen McMain (who would later marry Elder Oaks) are NOT featured in this book. Not prominent enough yet. But Mary Ellen Edmunds is! Her chapter is full of touching stories about the three full time missions she served and all the wonderful people she met and learned from.
Here are some of the most important points I took away from this book:
Being single did not stop these sixteen women from being happy, finding fulfillment in relationships with friends and family members and discovering ways to serve.
Being married does not guarantee an automatic Celestial Go Pass with its accompanying $200 ($2,000 inflation-adjusted but I'll take the eternal companion in lieu if you don't mind!). We are all responsible for our own progression in this life.
Our married family members don't need us in the same ways that we need them.
There was a time in the church when the missionary age for women was LOWERED to 21! Kathryn Luke, one of the contributors to this book, experienced this and decided, since she had no marriage prospects, (Yeah, right, engaged her freshman year at BYU before breaking it off for reasons unexplained-dating was a real thing back in those days.) she would take advantage of this age change and serve. She was 47 when this book was published in 1987 which means she turned 21 sometime after 1960. It boggles the mind!
Stay busy, keep active, be happy, get all the education you can (and ignore those well meaning voices warning you about scaring off all potential male suitors) and make God your constant companion so that during this awkward, uncharted course your life has taken, you have the assurance you are doing what He wants you to do at this time. You have no idea what you are growing into but it's going to be awesome!
Everyone needs to read this book which is why Deseret Book needs to bring it back. Let's start a petition!
This book was published thirty years ago and is now out of print, yet, its relevance to the 21st century single woman in the church astonished me. Deseret Book, with over 50% of women in the church all in the same boat, you need to either reprint this or put out a similar book. Include a few single men's perspectives too; IF you can find any. We NEED more resources like this on how to cope in a church that is so good at making singles feel so guilty about not being married.
None of these women hesitate to admit this single/nevermarried state was NOT their first choice. The recurring theme in each essay was the same. When it comes to personal growth and progression, singles in the church have the same trials and challenges as the marrieds. Words like "awkward," "frustrating," "heartache," "longing," "loneliness," "yearning" don't even begin to describe the unique experience singles face in the day-to-day living of this less-than-ideal life so contrary to what the church teaches.
By the way, Sheri Dew and Kristen McMain (who would later marry Elder Oaks) are NOT featured in this book. Not prominent enough yet. But Mary Ellen Edmunds is! Her chapter is full of touching stories about the three full time missions she served and all the wonderful people she met and learned from.
Here are some of the most important points I took away from this book:
Being single did not stop these sixteen women from being happy, finding fulfillment in relationships with friends and family members and discovering ways to serve.
Being married does not guarantee an automatic Celestial Go Pass with its accompanying $200 ($2,000 inflation-adjusted but I'll take the eternal companion in lieu if you don't mind!). We are all responsible for our own progression in this life.
Our married family members don't need us in the same ways that we need them.
There was a time in the church when the missionary age for women was LOWERED to 21! Kathryn Luke, one of the contributors to this book, experienced this and decided, since she had no marriage prospects, (Yeah, right, engaged her freshman year at BYU before breaking it off for reasons unexplained-dating was a real thing back in those days.) she would take advantage of this age change and serve. She was 47 when this book was published in 1987 which means she turned 21 sometime after 1960. It boggles the mind!
Stay busy, keep active, be happy, get all the education you can (and ignore those well meaning voices warning you about scaring off all potential male suitors) and make God your constant companion so that during this awkward, uncharted course your life has taken, you have the assurance you are doing what He wants you to do at this time. You have no idea what you are growing into but it's going to be awesome!
Everyone needs to read this book which is why Deseret Book needs to bring it back. Let's start a petition!
April 6, 2018
This was one of those books that when I was rearranging the library a few years ago looked interesting due to circumstances of the time although I didn't choose to burrow it. Now with my upcoming marriage I chose to read over it just to gain some insight into the actual book and see if there was anything that I may be able to gain from its reading.
The book is most definitely outdated for its time and so the reader who is interested in picking up this book again will be best to keep that foremost in the mind. But otherwise the information that is included within the pages and some of the comments from other women even though they may have been from older family members are still quite relevant to the church-going woman nowadays with subjects being focused on resolutions, adding more meaning to life, being social and financial management between other things. Although centering itself to the single reader, the book is also good for married readers as it will help sisters of the church to understand what their single sisters are having to deal on all fronts.
The reading can be a bit slow and does have some parts that are objectionable to but otherwise it is a good book for any age. For those, though, who want a more modern book with similar yet more detailed information another good recommendation would be "A Single Voice" by Sister Oaks.
The book is most definitely outdated for its time and so the reader who is interested in picking up this book again will be best to keep that foremost in the mind. But otherwise the information that is included within the pages and some of the comments from other women even though they may have been from older family members are still quite relevant to the church-going woman nowadays with subjects being focused on resolutions, adding more meaning to life, being social and financial management between other things. Although centering itself to the single reader, the book is also good for married readers as it will help sisters of the church to understand what their single sisters are having to deal on all fronts.
The reading can be a bit slow and does have some parts that are objectionable to but otherwise it is a good book for any age. For those, though, who want a more modern book with similar yet more detailed information another good recommendation would be "A Single Voice" by Sister Oaks.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews