Anthonology

by Piers Anthony

CONTENTS:

Possible to Rue;
The Toaster;
Quinquepedalian;
Encounter;
Phog;
The Ghost Galaxies;
Within the Cloud;
The Life of the Stripe;
In the Jaws of Danger;
Beak by Beak;
Getting Through University;
In the Barn;
Up Schist Crick;
The Whole Truth;
The Bridge;
On the Uses of Torture;
Small Mouth, Bad Taste;
Wood You?;
Hard Sell;
Hurdle;
Gone to the Dogs.

Genres: Fantasy, Science Fiction, Fiction, Short Stories, Horror, Anthologies, Ebooks

384 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1985

About the author

Though he spent the first four years of his life in England, Piers never returned to live in his country of birth after moving to Spain and immigrated to America at age six. After graduating with a B.A. from Goddard College, he married one of his fellow students and and spent fifteen years in an assortment of professions before he began writing fiction full-time.

Piers is a self-proclaimed environmentalist and lives on a tree farm in Florida with his wife. They have two grown daughters.

Reviews

[Bri Fidelity]

An absolutely-inappropriate-for-children book that I read from cover to cover, again and again, as a boy in the mid-1990s. (In fairness to my parents, this really does represent the absolute nadir of what they let me get away with.)

There are one or two stories I remember being rather harmless and wonderful - an alien comes to Earth in the form of a red parakeet, falls in love with a fellow parakeet, and is heartbroken when it dies; a cloud shaped like a human head mouths the words 'help, I am being held prisoner' when bickering holidaymakers replay their beach tapes to a deaf-mute translator - but even they're probably full of Anthony's creepy priapic paedo misogyny, too. (Even the cute story about toasters has its moments. Ugh.)

[Craig · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a collection of twenty-one short stories by Anthony, most originally published in genre magazines and anthologies 1963 - '85. A few of them are graphically violent and/or sexual in nature, but most are fairly run-of-the-mill entertainments. Anthony was much more better-known and prolific as a fantasy novelist, but the range in these stories covers all facets of the field. My favorites were the ones featuring the interstellar dentist. Each story has a long introduction and explanation in which he mostly comes across as very arrogant and egotistical but does include some interesting autobiographical information, much of which was later incorporated in his autobiography Bio of an Ogre. It's a kind of uneven book, but good for established fans of his work.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

On the Uses of Torture. The best and scariest short story I've ever read. It had me creeping with disgust. So good. The rest of the stories are pretty good, but that one requires a strong stomach and will possibly show the author in a different light :)

[Samuel · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's been years since I read this book, but it stands out as one of the most enjoyable books I've read. From human cows, to tortur-loving aliens, to little tiny fairy nymph sluts...he's crazy. He's just fucking crazy!

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of Piers Anthony's short stories, but there is more to it than that. Anthony intentionally chose these stories to showcase the scope and range of his work. Unfortunately he is a victim of his own success in the fact that he is primarily known for his fantasy books, namely the Xanth series more than anything else. However he has tried his hand at just about every form and genre and this book is his way of showing that. As such the stories vary greatly - so not only are the fascinating in that way but also in the fact you never quite know what you in for next - could be horror, could be fantasy could be comic parody or some mix of them all.

[sj]

I was just talking about Piers Anthony with Kate earlier tonight, and was reminded of this book. I think my mom bought it for me at a yard sale or something when I was in junior high, because she knew I loved the Xanth books (cut me some slack, I was 12).

Yeah, there wasn't much appropriate for me at that age in this book - which was probably why I read it so many damn times.

The stick out stories for me were, um, the one with the tiny alien doll who has to collect the normal sized mans seed? SO NOT APPROPRIATE.

Up Schist Crick, even though I probably didn't get just how disturbing it was at the time.

Oh, On the Uses of Torture. That one was...pretty scary, actually.

Getting Through University made me laugh.

Ummmm...I'm pretty sure if I picked it up again, I'd remember every detail about each story as soon as I started it, but I don't think I'm willing to put myself through that at my current age.

[Jeni Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptionally well-written and unforgettable. Also pretty f***ed up, but in short-story format, somehow it works. If nothiung else, read "On the Uses of Torture" -- you will never see him the same way again.

[Lukas Kawika · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was given this to read by a friend who's raved about Torture countless times, and as such that was my understanding of Piers Anthony going into it - that he was this deranged, psychotic horror author who delights in writing awful things. That turned out to be kinda right! When he saw me crack it open to start reading he prefaced my journey with "So Piers Anthony isn't exactly a GREAT writer, but..."

There's a lot of interesting pieces in here, with some really mindbending ones peppered in between smaller, more casual stories, and like everyone else has said in these reviews, quite a few that don't really benefit much from making the move from unpublished to published. By far my favorite out of these was Ghost, although Phog is a somewhat distant second.

Anthony bounces back and forth between not exactly silly but still humorous, to stereotypical crazy sci-fi (with the whole "performing dentistry for the son of the High Muckdemuck of Gleep" story), to deceptively simple smaller stories that left me thinking about and remembering them even after I'd finished a few further in the collection. Some of these simply weren't to my own tastes (which is also a commonly shared opinion among these reviews!) while a few of the others I'd love to learn more about - again looking at Ghost, wonderfully toeing the line between Star Trek-style sci-fi and a surprisingly deft grasp of Lovecraft-type eldritch horror.

"Torture" was... as you know, pretty sickening. But in that I'd say that Anthony definitely achieved his goals, in the preface stating that he was trying to push his limits as far as he could. He's stated a few times throughout the collection in his blurbs that he believes we should be able to write and draw and create whatever we like without any kind of censorship or limitation, and many of the stories here are fantastic examples of that viewpoint. Naturally that kind of thing puts a bad taste in the mouth right up front, but like I said before, these weirder, taboo-breaking stories are still deeply thought-provoking, and immensely valuable in their own right because of that.

So all in all there was stuff I honestly enjoyed, stuff that I'd rather not have read, and stuff that I've already forgotten about so soon after reading it. But Anthony definitely has my respect.

[N · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was really, really impressed by these short stories - and lest you think I lack perspective, I'm halfway through a collection of Ray Bradbury stories right now and recently read Cortazar's Blow-Up and other Stories.

I've been a fan of Piers Anthony's Xanth novels for some time now, but as I've begun to read his other works, I'm more and more convinced that Anthony is one of the best American fiction writers of his generation. I experienced a similar change in my opinion of Stephen King after reading the Dark Tower series. The ability to produce vast numbers of popular paperbacks does not indicate a lack of talent in all cases.

Anthony and King are chefs who have shown themselves able to satisfy the gourmet, the gourmand and the glutton alike.

[PRJ Greenwell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought the Grafton (now Harper Collins) version of this book on the basis of its intriguing cover art - three men, obviously astronauts, on a weird alien world. This scenario is played out in the tale Quinquepedalian, one of the better efforts in this anthology.

As with most collections, this is a grab bag. We have everything from space alien dentists to full-blown pornography here, with quite a bit of blah material in between. It's never a boring read, that's for sure, but the lesser lights certainly counterpoint the greater ones.

[Julie S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good mixture of stories. A few were boring or annoying, but I enjoyed some of them. I particularly liked "Possible to Rue," "The Toaster," "Quinquepedalian," "Getting Through University," "Within the Cloud," and "Small Mouth, Bad Taste."

[Liya Ma · Rating 4 out of 5]

The stories range from deeply profound and disturbing to boring and pointless. You won’t have the same perspective about any of the subjects after reading his stories. Overall a good read and a must if you are a sci-fi lover.

[Chris Mccoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

"On the uses of torture" is one of the most creative and horrifying uses of sci-fi ever. It will stretch your brain just like the protagonists.

[John Carter · Rating 3 out of 5]

All anthologies are mixed bags; this one rather more than most. There are 21 stories collected here. I awarded each 1-5 stars. The average story gained 2.9 stars. (2 got 5; 7 4; 7 3; 3 2; 1 1; and 1 -5) And weighted by page, the average star rating was 2.63. (The page count used for page-weighting includes Anthony’s sometimes tedious notes.) Some reviews contain spoilers.

Possible to Rue (f): 3 stars. An amusing tale, with a moral somewhat akin to “be careful what you wish for”—although here, you’re not going to get it.
The Toaster (sf): 4 stars. Ah, ain’t technology grand!
Quinquepedalian (sf): 3 stars. The principal drawback for me was the unresolved optimism of the protagonist. Secondary drawback: Quink’s concept of justice. No trial, no differentiation among defendants, and no statute of limitations.
Encounter (sf): 2 stars. I’m not a fan of “death around every corner is better than peace”.
Phog (sf): 3 stars. Too many unanswered questions: What is the relationship between the Runner and Phog? Is there only one Runner, because it seems that Phog is a universal problem?
The Ghost Galaxies (sf): 3 stars. Sorry. I just didn’t understand what was going on.
Within the Cloud (f): 4 stars. Funny.
The Life of the Stripe (f): 4 stars. Unlike a cigar, coincidence is never just coincidence.
In the Jaws of Danger (sf): 5 stars. This is just delightful. Bureaucracy, international relations, multilingual difficulties, parenting, and speleological dentistry all in one!
Beak by Beak (sf): 4 stars. Very well done, even if I knew the ending a quarter of the way down the second page.
Getting Through University (sf): 5 stars. Again, I could see the ending coming as soon as the twist was introduced. The essentials of the ending anyway. And what a delight to see Dr. Dillingham again!
In the Barn (sf): 1 star. Very disturbing.
Up Schist Creek (f?): 2 stars. Based on a twelve-year-old’s sense of humor, just not the twelve-year-old living in me.
The Whole Truth (sf): 3 stars. Fine, but not outstanding.
The Bridge (sf): 4 stars. Really amusing, but the best part is the last section, “Denouement”. Twelve-hour orgasm! Tall Troy’s on fire!
On the Uses of Torture (sf): -5 stars. I should have observed the warning: “this story is brutal.” I don’t know why I kept reading. Just thinking about it makes me ill.
Small Mouth, Bad Taste (sf): 3 stars. It might even be true …
Wood You? (sf): 2 stars. Of course, it does contain the sentence “The Snurp had bug ears and worm eyes and slug feet, but was otherwise rather strange.” Still, having a four-year-old an accomplished wood splitter was just too much for me to take.
Hard Sell (sf): 4 stars. It was a good story, but somewhat a downer at the end. But it did set the stage for …
Hurdle (sf): 4 stars. A nail-biter. Fisk Centers has a code of ethics which is certainly much stronger than mine.
Gone to the Dogs (f): 3 stars. Not a totally original concept, although a different take on it. And rife with punning breed names, which can be amusing or tedious, depending on one’s mood.

[Sonja · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this quite a long time ago and never forgot. In point of fact, the book came up in recent discussions and I was once more reminded of some of the things about Anthony's work that can really reach way down into my soul and make me want to scream.

In particular, "In the Barn" has been a story that has haunted my nightmares for years. I won't go into details, I believe another review mentions this as "human cows" and that's enough for me. But Anthony's relentless pursuit of an idea - he takes everything to the next logical step, and the next, and the next, however awful the territory becomes. That's what makes this story go from "cute, kind of pornographic but also vaguely funny" to "what the heck" to "no, no, no" for me.

This is hardly the only place he does such things, almost all his work shows his willingness to explore the darkest, grimiest corners of the human mind and experience. I don't know that I can agree that he has deviant tendencies in his everyday life - but he's certainly familiar with the paths that lead into some very, very old forests in the wilderness, metaphorically speaking.

[SullyIsReading · Rating 4 out of 5]

(THIS REVIEW IS ORIGINALLY FROM STORYGRAPH, FROM 12TH APRIL 2024.)

A strong anthology! My favourite stories from the book were 'Possible to Rue', 'The Ghost Galaxies', 'On the Uses of Torture', and 'Small Mouth, Bad Taste'.

The range of stories is genuinely impressive. I reckon not many authors have such a diverse range to base their stories in. It turns out that even when a particular story isn't too my liking, and may slog, that I can't resist from skipping because there is always a redemptive quality that makes me glad to have stuck.

I debated picking 'In the Barn' as another of my favourites. On one hand, I may never read anything quite so peculiar as it ever again. On the other hand, I felt its principal ideal while strong in its elements were not woven together perfectly. Nonetheless it's worth a read, providing you can stomach how bizarre and disgusting it was. I will say this: the story reflected reality all too well, but perhaps too on the nose, as well. I did personally like the story, although I spent the better half doubting Anthony's intentions.

[Justin · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice collection of fun stories and the history/inspiration behind them. I would have given it a higher rating, but several stories in the middle contained content warnings from the author, so I skipped them. Altogether it was close to 100 pages—about 1/4 of the book—that I paid for but didn’t read.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Bridge is awesome. The other stories are great, too.

Not every story has to be Politically Correct.

[Divya Pal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some classics: the lascivious and hilarious "Minnie's Crew" and "Up Schitt's Creek"

[Anita Heveron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some stories I really enjoyed, others I struggled through. If you're a sci-fi/fantasy fan, you'll love this book. I don't normally read this genre but this was amusing 😄

[Hazel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a collection of short stories. Hence the punned title Anthonology. I've actually read some of these before. 4 of the short stories later became novels. 2 belonging to Prostho Plus and 2 to Hard Sell. Other stories I'm not sure where i've read them.

The stories are a good mix of humor, horror, and interestingness. They're mostly Science Fiction with just a twinge of fantasy being present. Most of the stories are at least decennt, with a few being quite good, and some being completely uninteresting. I really liked the beginning section. There were a lot of good stories there. After that it was a bit hit and miss though.

One of the truly interesting aspects of this book, is a look into the publishing industry. Piers talks about how his stories were rejected, accepted, how much he was paid, and even talks about how editors would change things.

It was a good read, and I'll certainly have to revisit some of these stories.

[Graham · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's always interesting to read authors talking about their work, and more so when an author with a shed of books to his name discusses the trials and tribulations of being a short story writer in the 50s and 60s. His bad- and good-mouthing of his fellow writers, some of whom were editors on various SciFi magazines, is quite amusing and salutary.
The stories themselves range from basic SciFi to daft to flights of fancy to scatological. Most are goodies, some are creepy. Not a book for under 16s: the 'on the uses of torture' story requires a strong stomach as an envoy tries to get a contract signed...

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this again after not being able to find it for almost two decades after the first time I found it. There were stories in there that I certainly didn't remember at all, and others that had stuck pretty clearly in my memory for how simply bizarre they were.
I had to go on Amazon to buy a copy as this was never released as an e-book. I was super happy to read it again.
I probably wouldn't recommend it to a young teen like I was when I first read it lol
Definitely worth the read. Very imaginative, descriptive, thought-provoking, and emotive. Piers Anthony knows how to paint a picture with words and bring forth emotions with his novel concepts.

[Marina]

Possible to Rue;
The Toaster
Quinquepedalian
Encounter
Phog
The Ghost Galaxies
Within the Cloud
The Life of the Stripe
In the Jaws of Danger
Beak by Beak
Getting Through University
In the Barn
Up Schist Crick
The Whole Truth
The Bridge
On the Uses of Torture
Small Mouth
Bad Taste
Wood You?
Hard Sell
Hurdle
Gone to the Dogs

[STU · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of short stories by Piers Anthony chosen by Piers himself.
Mostly from the 1960s.
Getting Through University was probably my favourite.
I was too squeamish to finish reading On the Uses of Torture.

It was very interesting reading Piers' comments on his stories.
He does not have a high opinion of editors and seems to have a very high opinion of himself.

[Shawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Young adult 10-15

[Howard]

10

[Peter · Rating 2 out of 5]

The genesis of torture porn, along with many other disgusting things. Don't give this one to your kids, or they'll end up like me.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Short stories are not Piers Anthony's strong point.

[Hanaa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Meh. 2.5