My Heart Is Human

by Reese Hogan

It’s been nine years since the government banned all technology. So, when Joel Lodowick, a young transgender father struggling to support his five-year-old daughter, has an old bionic upload itself into his head, he is faced with a decision. Go to the cops and risk prosecution? Or use the robot’s skills to turn his life around?

Scared of losing his daughter, Joel chooses the latter. Heightened intelligence and physical enhancements quickly land him a better job and a brighter future. But things take a sinister turn when Joel realizes his uninvited companion has an agenda of its own, which may or may not include leaving him in control.

Unable to approach the government who covered up the truth about AI sentience, Joel finds himself on the run. With his daughter’s life on the line and his own body turning against him, he must find a way to convince the bionic in his head to value his human life before he loses the chance forever.

Genres: Science Fiction, Queer, Adult, Dystopia, LGBT, Post Apocalyptic

368 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 11, 2023

About the author

Reese Hogan is a science fiction author who has published four novels. Though no two works are quite alike, some common themes include identity, the question of what makes us human, and the need to find happiness while the world is falling apart around us. His short fiction has been published in The Decameron Project, A Coup of Owls, and on the Tales to Terrify podcast, as well as in two anthologies. In addition to writing, Reese enjoys singing in the local gay men’s chorus and running. He lives with his two children in New Mexico.

Reviews

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reese Hogan manages to combine his real-life love of music, along with his transgender struggles, into Joel’s plot predicament. And what a predicament it is! It is unfathomable to me how Hogan is able to seamlessly create circumstances that cause Joel to have a robot in his head, there is no way to remove it, and if anyone in authority finds out, both he and the robot will be terminated in one fell swoop. Inside Joel’s head, the evolution of Acumens is poignant. It is carefully crafted and easy for the reader to trace. My Heart Is Human is Reese Hogan’s best novel to date. I couldn’t stop reading it.

[M.G. Mason · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved this premise but for some reason it just couldn't hold my attention for any length of time. Maybe I just didn't vibe with the style it was written in. I may come back to it another time and revisit the review.

[Joseph Lau · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was prepared to be disappointed. 10 pages in, the focus seemed to be on the plight of a poor man in a dystopian future - who is complaining about being misgendered by those around him in the midst of his personal transition. Quickly, though, it became clear there was far more to Joel – and the story.
Reese weaves together a complex story, with significantly subtlety in other themes and issues. Yes – this is a book about a struggling transman, looking for acceptance from family, taking care of his daughter and seeking love.
But there is also the issue of bionics – AI which got out of control. The higher powers have determined the solution is the elimination of all complex tech, but bionics still remain. And Joel finds himself merged with one – an enemy of a society trained to believe all tech is bad. It is the story about AI, the impact of technology, and the place of all struggling in a decayed world.
The author wove together these tales on identity into a really good story: the desire for outside acceptance and struggle to acknowledge and find personal comfort in identity.
I would have easily given this book 5 stars if there was less of the existential angst over pronouns and names (important identity factors, but could have been done in a more integrated, less forceful way). That said, I highly recommend people read this for the characters, story, and fears for a future world.

[Jonathan Fuller · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in one sitting on a flight. That should indicate how captivated I was by the story. Joel is a compelling and relatable protagonist, and his evolution into a reluctant hero is one of the most believable character arcs in recent memory. There’s a sense of having boarded a runaway train from the moment Acubens enters the story, and as a reader, I loved how unrelenting the pacing was. Hogan depicts a near-future that feels entirely real, at times in quite unsettling ways.

It cannot be overstated how important it is to see a queer, trans man as the main character. Joel’s struggle with gender dysphoria and societal acceptance is beautifully rendered. I’m eager to explore the rest of Hogan’s catalog.

[Joshua Hair · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to come.

[Chris Panatier · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got a chance to read this book ahead of publication and it was a hell of a ride. Reese is a fantastic writer, one, and here he creates a seamless future world that right now seems just over the horizon. MHIH is a fantastic adventure with a great cast. Here's my blurb:

"MY HEART IS HUMAN is a smart, exciting, near future adventure that attacks the deepest questions of personhood, identity, and the impending confrontation with the technologies we've created. An intense rampage that leaves you both breathless and pondering the nature of self."

[Bec · Rating 5 out of 5]

ASIN: ‎ B0C57HTVHH
Publisher: ‎ Space Wizard Science Fantasy; 1st edition (July 11, 2023)
Publication date: ‎ July 11, 2023

So, how would you convince a bionic robot that self-sacrifice, to protect an entire planet of humans, is the right thing to do?

It has no concept of compassion beyond the basic, non-feeling, definition found in any dictionary. And it needs Joel alive for it to continue to exist… to Acubens, Joel is just another upgrade…

But that’s exactly what Joel needs to figure out once he becomes the physical half of the first ever bionic enhanced human. And as he’s living at a time when just owning a bionic would land him in prison, he has no doubt that with Acubens IN HIS HEAD he’ll be shot on sight.

The “My Heart is Human” by Reese Hogan takes us into what feels like a dystopian future, one where all technology has been destroyed. Not by weapons during a war, but by mankind to prevent the bionics from becoming something that humans could no longer control.

In the story the main character is Joel, a single, trans dad with a five-year-old daughter to take care of. There are a lot of layers that make Joel who he is, and author Reese Hogan peels them back one by one. It is a journey to self-discovery.

I think you’ll enjoy the story, but I guarantee it’s going to have you thinking a lot about what the implications would be for humanity if and when technology evolves an intelligence far superior to mankind and it realizes it doesn’t need us anymore.

”With Acubens turning his body against him, his mind was all Joel had left. And that mind was now the only thing standing between two vastly superior beings and the rest of the human race.”

[Sarah Daley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book! Exciting and heartfelt, a sci-fi thriller set in a near future world where technology has gone dark and rogue bionics remain a threat. When Joel Lodowick, a young, single father struggling to make a better life for his daughter, keep the bills paid and maybe, maybe, find a good man, accidentally uploads a self-aware bionic into his mind, things take a swift and sudden turn. At first, heightened intelligence and physical abilities seem a boon, leading to a new job and a shiny new future, until Joel realizes his uninvited ‘partner’ has a mind of its own and a hidden agenda which may or may not include leaving Joel in control of himself or keeping his daughter safe. The stakes are high and the action relentless, and Mr. Hogan deftly weaves moral questions about identity and humanity and self-sacrifice throughout the narrative without losing a drop of tension. If you’re looking for an action-packed story about the dangers of a good thing gone bad, creepy AI run amok, the exploration of what it means to be human, plus the transformative power of love and sacrifice, this is it!

[Denise Crittendon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A CEREBRAL MIND BENDER
In Reese Hogan's fast paced, high-tech journey, the world has changed in unexpected ways. I would say that technology is feared by the masses, but that would be an oversimplistic understatement. My Heart is Human has so much depth it is definitely the work of a genius. Yes, I said it. This novel is sheer genius. Basically, it's a thrilling, complex adventure into what best could be described as a robotic underground. Robots don't exactly rule, but they have the capacity and therein lies the conundrum. In My Heart is Human, the role of human and robot is analyzed, dissected and challenged in a way that makes the reader question everything he or she knows about humanity. Although there's plenty of action and drama, the novel's key strengths lie in its ability to make the reader reflect on what constitutes sentient life. Is it the heart? Free will? The ability to love? The answers are not clear. One shocking, brain-shattering idea after another is unveiled as the plot takes twists and turns and plays with the mind. Hogan is a gifted writer who thoroughly explores the mechanics and emotions of an apocalyptic, robotic future. I highly recommend.

[Rob Wolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reese Hogan’s My Heart is Human is a great read. First off, the novel is a fun, fast-paced story with interesting characters who have to overcome increasingly dangerous obstacles. Second, the book gives me what I love most about science fiction—a fascinating look into social and scientific issues that cast a revealing light on how we live today. A main theme of the book is identity—how the characters see themselves and are seen by others. On the one hand, we have Joel Lodowick, a trans man and single parent, who—in addition to running from robot-killing cops and having to figure out how to deal with a sentient A.I. taking over his brain—is deeply affected by parents who don’t take his male identity seriously. On the other hand, there is Acubens, the aforementioned A.I., who is coming to understand how its identity differs from humans as it evolves through a series of self-initiated upgrades. The fact that these two very different characters occupy the same body and brain makes the story all the more interesting and complex.

[Al · Rating 5 out of 5]

Transness, bodily autonomy, and A.I. sentience intersect with razor-sharp precision to create a heartfelt declaration of what it means to be human.

As a trans author, I find myself exploring the link between body and identity a lot in my stories, and I'm also slightly obsessed with A.I. stories, so I could not have been more excited to read this book. I related so much to what Joel was going through that it actually gave me the courage to try to broach the subject of being trans with my parents again - and this is one of the reasons representation in fiction is so important.

I was fascinated by the regressive technology and how it gave the book an almost post-apocalyptic feel, and absolutely couldn't anticipate where the plot was heading. Having also written a book where an A.I. exists within nanobots in a host's body, it was so fun to see both our takes on the same concept, where some things were eerily similar and others wildly different.

I highly recommend!

[Julian · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like AI characters and I like trans men characters, and I generally enjoyed this book. The writing and characterization were often overly blunt, such as Elena’s adding Spanish onto the ends of her sentences, and Joel’s parents being just lunatics. I recognize that the author is transmasc, but the trans elements felt simplified to me. Many actions are matter-of-fact, which gives a plainer feel to the atmosphere. While the book takes some time to start, I was perfectly willing to give it a try. I became bored around the middle, and then picked up interest again by the end, as a more personal antagonist brought new tension. I enjoyed the conversations and struggle between Joel and Acubens, especially as Acubens continued to change. The care for music showed through clearly, and while I can’t speak to the math as much it remained interesting. I am still pleased to add to my repertoire of robot/transmasc books.

[Caitlyn Price · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trans Rights Readathon 2026
More like "my heart belongs to this book." This had so many good discussions about humanity, agency, and autonomy. Our protagonist is Joel, a young trans man raising his five year old daughter who finds himself in the tricky predicament of a bionic uploading itself into his head without his consent. What follows is the story of a man doing his damn best despite being dealt a shitty hand of cards, and the way Reese Hogan tackled class in relation to ethics was done so well. Some of Joel's choices weren't the best, but his position in life didn't leave him with many options. Adding in the layer of trans character having his mind and body shared against his will felt like an amazing allegory for gender dysphoria. The social commentary woven throughout didn't feel forced but instead came through the prose naturally. I almost regret starting the Readathon with this because now the bar is HIGH.

[Aimee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I honestly wasn't certain if I was going to like this book! I tend to shy away from plots that have a lot of involvement with children, but the depth of the characters in other directions helped flesh them out so much that yes, a child was there and helped motivate some decisions, but didn't command the entire story. I found myself "one more chapter"ing this book right up to the end.

My only complaint would be that the last few chapters seemed a bit more drawn out than they needed to be, with paragraphs that felt repetitive and long. Additionally, I felt the reasoning for Yori and Elena not coming in to get Joel after one hour at Nyctalope's place, after such a big stink about it via dialogue, was loose and didn't make much sense. I wish that had been tied up a little better, but if that's the only complaint I have, it's minor in the scope of the story! Definitely will be recommending this one.

[Jenn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't write this review, I'm crying too much

As a non-binary person who has two kids, I think I identified with the protagonist waaay to much.

I saw Reese speak on a panel at Bubonicon in ABQ about issues of writing in near future scenarios and how technology can easily catch up. He was articulate and clearly emphasized it's all about writing the relatable characters. I think he hit this out of the ballpark.

Some of the world building I disagreed with, but the story is ultimately what a parent would do to keep their child safe. That is the driving heart of the story and that is what brings the tears to my eyes.

Thank you Reese for making Joel so relatable and so full of love and determination.

[Scott Shjefte · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read Kindle book using Alexa audio asset. Borrowed this eBook with Kindle Unlimited on March 5, 2024. Ambitious story perhaps taking on too much. Having trouble believing in the AI in the brain acting how it does in the story, enjoyed the beginning but became increasingly disconnected with the characters as the story developed. DNF at chapter 16.

[William Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love this story. Along with the trans journey, we get a cautionary tale about AIs and approaching the singularity, as well as some amazing concerts and songs along the way. All of Hogan's works share this same deep philosophy along with well though-out stories. Give this one a try!

[Andre Boone · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read in the last couple years. Fast pace, likeable characters, and a cool premise. This is the second book I've read by Hogan, and I'll be back for more.

[Ro V · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyed this. I was riveted from the beginning.

[Cornelia Johansson · Rating 3 out of 5]

To me, the most interesting thing about My Heart is Human is how it sets up parallels regarding one's right to bodily autonomy. The main character Joel is a trans man and as such bodily autonomy and having it be respected are important aspects of his character, even if and sometimes especially when others think they are helping but what they’re actually doing is trying to make choices for him based on what they think are right.

Mirroring this with the sci-fi of an artifical intelligence trying to take over control of his body was a clever move (if at times a bit on the nose; the book isn't much for being subtle). It's woven into the story as not just a part of Joel's character but as an integral part of what helps the AI learn what it means to be human. It’s nice to see transness treated as such an inherently important part of a speculative fiction story.

Outside of this clever perspective, I do feel the story was fairly average. The writing is as mentioned a bit unsubtle at times. As an example, it really isn't necessary to explicitly tell me that Joel dislikes being around his parents because they are transphobic and then to show them being transphobic; it would’ve been enough, and honestly more hard hitting, to show him being uncomfortable about his parents, and then include the scene of them being transphobic as it was. Trust the reader to pick up on things, you know.

I also think the themes regarding AIs could’ve been handled better. As is, it feels like the book can’t make up its mind about them. One minute it's oppression and terrible that they were shut down for starting to gain sentience, the next they are condemned as inherently dangerous for not blindly obeying orders and not always placing the lives of humans above themselves. This in combination with the fact the relationship between Joel and his AI didn’t start to develop and go interesting places until near the end made it hard to form any emotional attachment to them and their plight. There was the start of something interesting, but it needed more character work to really hit.