Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World

Rate this book
If you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP), you’re in good company. HSP’s make up some 20 percent of the population, individuals like you who both enjoy and wrestle with a finely tuned nervous system. You often sense things that others ignore such as strong smells, bright lights, and the crush of crowds. Even the presence of strangers in your immediate vicinity can cause you considerable distraction. You already know that this condition can be a gift, but, until you learn to master your sensitive nervous system, you might be operating in a constant state of overstimulation. As an HSP, the most important thing you can learn is how to manage your increased sensitivity to both physical and emotional stimulation. This accessible, practical guide contains strategies to help you master this critical skill. Build your coping skills by exploring the books engaging exercises. Then, keep the book by your side, a constant companion as you make your way through your vibrant and highly stimulating world. •Find out what it means to be a highly sensitive person
•Take the self-examination quiz and find out whether you are highly sensitive
•Learn coping techniques indispensable to IHP’s
•Discover how to manage distractions like noise and time pressure at home and at work
•Reduce sensory-provoked tension with meditation and deep relaxation techniques
•Navigate the challenges of interacting with others in social and intimate relationships

200 pages, Paperback

First published September 15, 2004

564 people are currently reading
2988 people want to read

About the author

Ted Zeff

11 books26 followers

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
307 (23%)
4 stars
353 (26%)
3 stars
397 (30%)
2 stars
179 (13%)
1 star
75 (5%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 146 reviews
Profile Image for N.K. Layne.
Author 5 books28 followers
September 20, 2014
Zeff wrote this book from a deeply personal place-- which is why I have to give it one star. I am not Zeff, at all, so I did not relate to this book. This does not mean that I an not "HSP", I hit all the characteristics for this personality type, but I do not relate to the world like Zeff, regardless.

Zeff's spirituality dominated this book from page one. This frustrated me but then when I got to the concluding chapter which was directly *about* spirituality, I no longer had any patience. The main advice in this book is to meditate. Have a problem? Any problem at all? Meditate on it. It isn't that meditation doesn't have any worth to it-- but the repetition of this advice makes it meek and feeble.

He also speaks at length about karma, God, and the afterlife. I strongly disagree with all these notions, so I couldn't take the man seriously.
Profile Image for Heidi Wiechert.
1,399 reviews1,525 followers
January 31, 2021
"Approximately 15 to 20 percent of the population have trouble screening out stimuli and can be easily overwhelmed by noise, crowds, and time pressure." pg 10, ebook

Ted Zeff, a self professed highly sensitive person or HSP, shares coping mechanisms he's cultivated throughout his life-long struggle with the unique way he responds to every day life. Topics range from improving work environments, personal relationships with non-highly sensitive people, getting a good night's sleep and more.

While you can't live your life totally removed from the world's jolts, you can create an environment that minimizes stimuli. If you can anchor yourself to a ship of tranquility, you won't be tossed about by the waves of stimulation." pg 22

I am a highly sensitive person too. Most of the tips and habits Zeff suggests in this book are common sense and were not all that helpful to me. The material also becomes somewhat repetitive as the book goes on. But, if you've just discovered this about yourself, I could see this book being eye-opening.

"Since our aggressive society values non-HSP behavior, HSPs must learn to create boundaries and speak up. Unfortunately, many HSPs are shy and feel embarrassed to state what they want." pg 63

Something I did learn about in this book is the highly sensitive person issue of "time pressure". I know deadlines and meet up times stress me out, but I didn't realize that was fairly typical of highly sensitive people.

"Combined with your high sense of responsibility, functioning under time constraints can be one of the most difficult aspects of being a highly sensitive person. In this section you will learn specific techniques to successfully deal with the daily pressures of our fast-paced modern society." pg 32

If you only have time to read one book about highly sensitive people, the author himself recommends The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You multiple times throughout this text. You may want to pick that one up and give this a pass.
Profile Image for Corinne Campbell.
62 reviews42 followers
December 21, 2015
After my psychologist suggested I am an HSP, with sensory issues that feed into anxiety, I was curious to read some more. Ted Zeff's book was rated highly on GoodReads and Amazon, so I downloaded the Kindle version.

Unfortunately I've rarely come across a more poorly written, patronising book, made worse because of the amount of pseudoscience promoted throughout. (Homeopathy, Ayurvda healing, float tanks...)

Rather than supporting HSPs, this book encourages them to hide from the world. It's based on a deficit view that encourages HSPs to accept limitations rather than manage and move beyond them.

Profile Image for Ashley.
1,262 reviews
September 17, 2009
A "highly sensitive person" is defined as a person with a finely tuned nervous system who has trouble screening out stimuli and can be easily overwhelmed by noise, crowds, and time pressure.

I went into this expecting a bit more than "the basics", which may explain why I was slightly disappointed. If I read a book about "essential camping skills" I would expect a bit more than the obvious "bring a tent" and "don't forget to pack food", which is basically what this book offered. Wear earplugs to drown out annoying noises and don't look at the clock when you're struggling to fall asleep were some of the suggestions proffered by Zeff.

However, I did appreciate the many Buddhist references, since achieving inner peace and surrendering to your environment is complimentary to Zeff's advice. It wasn't a bad read, neccessarily, just very basic in nature.
Profile Image for Anna.
193 reviews
February 6, 2016
If you are a highly sensitive person, you'd better avoid this book. It managed to achieve the exact opposite of what it was trying to do: instead of providing you with guidance and soothing calm, it irritated the hell out of me.

I don't have any objections to meditation. Good stuff. Eating healthy? Yes, of course. Less stress? Wonderful idea! But apart from the fact that all of these are obvious and actually just as relevant to any highly sensitive, moderately sensitive and insensitive human being at all, there's one more huuuge issue with the author's advice. And this thing is: either he is living in some other, alternative reality, or he probably just never met ordinary people. Not comfortably retired millionaires, but us, usual folks with daily jobs, chores, families and stuff.

Does the guy seriously think that getting up "one hour" earlier, to "meditate", do relaxing exercises and prepare, eat and enjoy a "healthy breakfast" is possible for someone who needs to be in the office at 7 am? Really? And all of those evening relaxations, meditations, avoiding arousing stuff like computers, phones etc are incredibly easy to achieve when you have just several hours to clean up, cook, do groceries and hopefully stay in touch with friends and relatives by phone/email?

Honestly, where does he live? I want to live there too! But speaking seriously, having a lot to do and even handling two jobs does not mean you cannot provide yourself with some quiet time or establish routines. Unfortunately though, you'll have to figure it out on your own because you won't find much help from the book.

If you want to get some sensible and doable advice, better read Elaine Aron's book(s). I like her approach way more, and both her manner of writing, as well as her recommendations, are spot-on. Her books changed my life for the better, without me having to quit my job and move to the forest away from it all :)

By the way, I do eat healthy breakfast. But I don't wake up an hour ealier to savour it :)
Profile Image for Zach Harper.
18 reviews
April 25, 2017
Highly patronizing, and written with a large amount of victim blaming. Apologize for being sensitive when you ask someone to be considerate or when dealing with abusive behaviour? Talk about gas lighting. No thanks. You have to be kidding me.
280 reviews
September 27, 2014
How can a book possibly go from five stars to one star??? Well, I shall explain it: As a HSP and an INFP, I am about as sensitive as they come. I started off liking this book, even though to most HSP's I imagine most of the advise is obvious, but it's always nice to know one is on the "right track". I was really put off by the comment in the Health chapter of this book. The author writes "(with regards to a vegetarian diet).it's better to be a nonjudgmental meat eater than a judgmental vegetarian who condemns people who eat meat." WAIT A MINUTE HERE...let's take this one step at a time. I am a vegetarian and have been off and on most of my adult life. I have NEVER verbally attacked or judged anyone for eating meat, I live with and love a meat eater, I would never think of judging him due to his choice of food. The only thing I have ever seen vegetarians do is try to EDUCATE meat eaters as to why meat is being forced down their throat (pun). What anyone does with information is their choice. I have heard over and over again how vegetarians are judgmental towards meat eaters, now I have something to say, and it will resonate with many other vegetarians and vegans...and here it goes. If there is any judgement involved it isn't that people eat meat, it may be that people just don't care where their food comes from, and I find it next to impossible to believe that people care about what brand of shoes they wear, but don't care what they put in their bodies. To clarify: It's not that we care what you eat, we care that you don't give it any thought or will not take into consideration exactly what you are doing. Everyone has the right to eat what they want, and HSP's, of all people, would be less judgmental than not.

The second point I want to make, and one that is quite important and I think is dangerous to be ignored (but then again, do what you want, I am just giving you the information, what you do with it is your business, I'm not trying to change anyone, but I know that I would have appreciated this information, which is why I am passing it on.) The author also suggests herbal remedies for sleep problems. Being an HSP my system is quite sensitive to herbal formulas. I DO NOT recommend melatonin without keeping a look out as to how it affects depression. I am prone to depression and am unable to take melatonin because it causes me to be more depressed. Also, he recommends St. John's Wort and valerian which can interfere with certain asthma medications as well as exacerbate an asthma attack. I will say that Mr. Zeff does suggest consulting a physician before taking these remedies, so I give him credit for that. Just be careful, I think side effects in any medications can be heightened in an HSP (I know it is with me), so proceed with caution.
Profile Image for Stella.
15 reviews1 follower
October 29, 2009
If you are an HSP (you know who you are: you don't go to the movies because you are assaulted by the popcorn smell; You don't go to certain stores, because the flourescent lighting makes you nauseated or triggers a migraine) read this book. It will make a lot of sense. If you are not one, you might think that it is just craziness.

I liked this book because it is the only book I have read on this topic that doesn't go overboard with how great it is to be an HSP. At best, being an HSP is akin to being left handed. Sometimes it is almost a handicap.

I waited a couple of weeks to review this book because I wanted to be able to report to anyone who might care whether it was useful. I was already doing yoga, but I believe that some of the other suggestions in this book are worth trying, if you, like me, are an HSP (or "way too sensitive.") For example, I have found that the breathing exercises and the noise control suggestions have substantially improved the quality of the sleep I get at night.

Overall, if you are a highly sensitive person, this book is worth reading.
Profile Image for Stacy Curro.
66 reviews
June 2, 2012
Interesting, but the people that need to be reading this are not. Should be required reading for managers and HR.
Profile Image for Carlos Bexlier.
556 reviews45 followers
December 13, 2019
La guía para las personas altamente sensibles es un libro de crecimiento personal enfocado en ayudar a las personas PAS, para que puedan sobrevivir en un mundo sobresaturado de estímulos.

Les cuento que me interesó el libro porque soy una persona medio sensible y quizás el libro era para mi; me llevé dos grandes sorpresas.

La primera es sobre que dentro del libro hay un test para saber si eres una persona altamente sensible, muchas de las preguntas me quedaban como anillo al dedo,otras eran muy exageradas o así las sentí, obviamente al final me di cuenta que no soy una persona altamente sensible.

La segunda es que es un libro perfecto para este tipo de personas, en él nos cuenta absolutamente todo para que la vida sea más sencilla, nos introduce contando qué son las PAS, sobre los horarios, mantener tu cuerpo sano, poder dormir bien, tener buenas relaciones amorosas y no morir en el intento, crear un entorno de trabajo tranquilo,nos da respuesta a las preguntas más comunes, etc.

Creo que si eres de las personas que no soportas el ruido, muchas luces, lugares llenos de personas, eres despistado o te estresas con trabajar bajo presión probablemente sea un libro que te recomendaría.

Personalmente no hay mucho que aporte en mi persona, pero lo que aprendí del libro me va a servir para comprender y ayudar a este tipo de personas.
Profile Image for Andee Marley.
213 reviews17 followers
May 10, 2015
This book is life-changing for me. LIFE-CHANGING PEOPLE!!!!! I'm am not alone! The HSP guide helped me understand myself and my relationships better....I was on the right track, but this certainly fleshes it out.

I have included a link to the HSP test to take if you think you might be one.
http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensi...

Also, here is a podcast for HSP's that is helpful..
http://highlysensitiveperson.net/hspp...
Profile Image for Mary Claire.
101 reviews10 followers
April 23, 2020
It's good to know that you're not crazy or defective just highly sensitive, but, I didn't really get much help from this book. I have pretty much learned how to take care of myself because of my sensitivities and have adapted over the years. The advice is mostly new age and holistic types of things, such as deep breathing, herbs, meditation, yoga. Just give me a valium.
Profile Image for Michel.
57 reviews21 followers
March 25, 2013
This book was shitty and repetitive, but helpful in that it had a lot of good tips. Aron's book is much, much better overall.
Profile Image for Katie.
360 reviews76 followers
September 6, 2020
I am an HSP and have enjoyed educated myself about the trait - mostly learning to be in a world that feels intense some of the time. Loud voices, startling sounds, anger, and aggressiveness, in particular, really overwhelm me. Reading about all the ways an HSP can be sensitive gave me a bit of anxiety, honestly. Thankfully, I sleep like a rock and not all the book’s traits applied to be.

Learning, though, always helps us understand. I hope I came out of this book with a better understanding of others.

It’s important to remember, as the author suggests, that we are part of the world, but we don’t get to decide how it sounds, smells, feels.

I’ve appreciated many of these tips related to meditation and mindset.
Profile Image for Alena Ki.
10 reviews1 follower
January 31, 2019
Не виносите галасу: розмови колег на роботі заважають, гавкіт псів на вулиці нервує, вечірка у сусідів моментально допікає?
Яскраве світло, голосна музика, насичені запахи - справжнє випробування.
Поспіх дратує.
А жорстокі фільми зі сценами насилля? - тільки не це!

Знайомо? Welcome to the club!
Скоріш за все, ви - надчутлива людина.

#СверхчувствительныеЛюди
Автор #ТедЗефф
Видавництво @
235 сторінок КВ 4/70

Оскільки надчутливих людей відносно не багато(10-15%), вони часто намагаються розділити громадські погляди більшості. Але при спробі вписатись в неврівноважений світ страждає їх фізичне, емоційне та духовне здоров'я.

Книга призначена для надчутливих людей, їх близьких і всіх, хто хоче краще розуміти себе та оточення. Вона навчить звичайних читачів, як підтримувати вразливих друзів та родичів. А ще я зрозуміла, що не інтровертністю єдиною можна пояснити своє сприйняття світу. Коротше, у мене комбо, і де воно тільки взялось ?

Хоча стратегії описані в ній доволі примітивні, поверхневі та часто неприйнятні для нашого менталітету, все ж деякі допомогли частіше відчувати душевний спокій та правильно реагувати на ситуації.

І не забувати наступне:
▫️ Сидіти за комп'ютером перед сном = пряма дорога до безсоння
▫️Зменшення кофеїну = спокійніше самопочуття
▫️Тепла їжа 👌 - Гаряча - 🙅‍♀️
▫️Прогулянки на природі
▫️Медитація
▫️Уникати негативного налаштованого оточеня
▫️ Гармонічний фітнес
▫️ Прощення
▫️ Беруші/навушники - постійно з собою
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Julie L.
213 reviews3 followers
December 2, 2014
While I hadn't liked the original HSP book by Aron (I skimmed it briefly and put it away) this one was interesting enough that I read nearly all of it and determined that I should give the Aron book another go. That was its value--it was interesting enough for me to give this topic another try. It has a lot of practical tips--some of them obvious--but many of them helpful. The author uses some laughable alliteration, and you get an overall feeling of fussiness from him (I would never take the HSP thing so seriously or tell people I had a "finely-tuned nervous system") but once past that the book does have the motivation of helping people behind it.
Profile Image for Stacey.
2 reviews
July 25, 2017
This book was written from the very personal perspective of the author, who is specifically an introverted, low-sensation seeking HSP with a strong bent for spirituality, pseudoscience, and woo.

There were several instances of very poor analysis and bad examples that made me angry.

I only read this book because it was recommended by a therapist, and it strongly reinforced my decision to find a new therapist.
56 reviews
March 13, 2014
wow- incredible insights about my husband and son. This helped me better understand them and how I can be more supportive to a highly sensitive person. Will definately read more books on this topic. Now to get my husband and son to read it.....
Profile Image for Vicki B.
124 reviews12 followers
August 2, 2011
Some good points. Not quite as helpful as I thought it would be, but I'm sure I'll refer back to it from time to time.
2 reviews1 follower
January 13, 2015
This is the first book I've read about the highly
Sensitive person. Thank god I finally have some
Understanding of myself! Loved it. Practical tools for surviving daily life as a HSP.
Profile Image for Meghna.
49 reviews
February 25, 2018
I never used to read books like these but lately I have been wandering into a section of the library which I never used to and finding such gems which I can't resist giving a try. I saw this book and for a moment was embarrassed to pick up but I did and luckily the page I gave a read was extremely useful for a person like me who is extremely sensitive to all kinds of stimuli. The book has a test for you to identify if you are a Highly Sensitive Person and then suggestions of how to make the best of it without being overwhelmed all the time, which can be the case with me a lot. The recommendations revolved around giving yourself care, space and meditation which have helped me in the past and for some, they can be obvious but I think they really help to solidify the abstract concept you have of creating peace.
I took pictures of several pages of the book to remember before returning it, which I guess speaks about how much I gained from it. It's not easy to do it all, but it's a step, and I'm glad I took it.
Profile Image for phases.of.dawn.
67 reviews
February 12, 2021
"When you forgive someone, you are not approving of someone's poor behavior, but freeing yourself."

1.5 stars, even though I'm still unsure about my rating. It's not that this is a bad book per se, it just wasn't helpful for me. I appreciated the aspects about kindness and about accepting your own sensitivity (because in a society where sensitivity is seen as a weakness, that's not easy) - but that's all, really. The advice was basic and obvious, and the tone of the book seemed quite judgmental at times. And while I did enjoy reading about the author's students and their different perspectives, I kept thinking that not all problems can be solved just by breathing deeply and by enjoying the sunlight - some emotions have to be felt and can't be pushed away or be avoided, and I just wish the author wouldn't have ignored that completely.

I'm sure this book will still be helpful for someone who has only just found out they're HSP, especially for seeing they're not alone in their struggles. But apart from that and for me personally, this was a waste of time.
Profile Image for Shhhhh Ahhhhh.
846 reviews24 followers
September 10, 2018
I'm mixed on this book. On the one hand, it is full of good information (well, mostly good information from my perspective and information-base), and the author clearly wrote it in earnest. On the other hand, and this could just be my biases talking, the gratuitous use of the phrase "highly sensitive person" seemed to positively drip with victim mentality.

The long and short of the book: Some people have nervous systems which make them more sensitive to stimulus than others. This can cause various issues in a world where most people have higher sensory thresholds. Coping mechanisms exist to deal with that.

I might recommend some of the tools and understandings from the book but I don't think I'd recommend the book itself.
Profile Image for عهود.
151 reviews14 followers
March 15, 2020
4:00
مفيد و خفيف و طرحة جميل
لكن فال��خر العناوين ما تخدم وحدة عايشة فالشرق الأوسط
لكن هذا كان اخر فصل بس
الباقي كان جيد
Profile Image for teffcode.
12 reviews61 followers
February 8, 2025
It is an incredible book to understand how HSPs are and what tools are useful to live better ☺️
Profile Image for Ricardo Shimoda.
198 reviews3 followers
February 6, 2024
This book is a big list of things that HSPs can use to enhance their daily lives, and most of the actions are based on understanding that HSPs feel the world in a different way - and that we are a minority. As such, disagreements and misunderstandings (and other worse consequences) might happen due to that, specially when dealing with what we "should" not be feeling or sensing.

Therefore, most of the skills to be developed are based on (pre)planning how to deal with exposures to environments and situations where it all might be just too much - sometimes even thinking twice if that's something we must really go through, and, eventually, reframing all that has already happened, such as:
Think of solutions for noisy work environments
Turn time-pressure events into more enjoyable experiences with breathing and small breaks
Give time to think when talking and answering questions
Learn to let go of assumptions which might have been created (or imposed on) by other people but that are not aligned with our own perception

It's quite an useful book, containing many stories from the author himself and several other people he has helped over the years - and it's easy to identify with each story, leading to more and better insights into our daily lives.

Profile Image for Lora Temelkova.
44 reviews17 followers
October 19, 2019
Great tips and insight into the world of the HSP. As an HSP myself it's been quite a relief to read about similar experiences and ways to work with that.
Profile Image for Eleni21.
90 reviews6 followers
September 19, 2024
Big no for me this book. Started okeish in the beginning could relate to some things for HSPs but then it went downhill the more I kept reading. Don't feel I learnt anything new, didn't really enjoy the writing and in general not my cup of tea. Would not recommend.
Profile Image for Marlana Williams.
Author 3 books52 followers
Read
December 3, 2021
I'm an atheist, and don't have any spiritual belief whatsoever. I like to think I live in reality with real things. That said, I don't have anything in common with the faith-heavy suggestions in this book. While the author is careful not to mention *which* faith to tap into, he neglected the large quotient of us who do not do this, nor care to.

Aside from that, I hoped for real, concrete advice on what to do when you feel like ripping someone's throat out when they yes, very much so know they've meant to hurt you, when most of the advice is to consider that the person "not knowing they hurt you".

I'm the type of person who discovered that I was HSP after a clothing store clerk forgot to detach the security button off a coat I bought, and upon returning to the store weeks later, with no receipt, and inadvertently alarming the staff, I had to remove my coat and surrender it until I could prove I bought it. (I did so that day with a bank receipt, and got my coat back.) The incident upset me for almost one week straight with headaches and stomach aches.

My feelings were that someone ought to have been fired, and I ought to have been compensated greatly for this embarrassment and inconvenience that I had no way of preventing or knowing about.

When it got sorted out, I asked my doctor, why was it that when things like this happen to me, all I do is see red and want revenge so badly. I never forget a thing, and can't stand it when people seem to "get away" with things, accident or not. (Especially when it's not.) He told me I had high sensitivities, and when I looked into it, sure enough all the descriptions of an HSP were exactly me. Food smells better (or worse?), colours are vibrant, sounds are clear, all conversations are heard, feelings are detected, etc. While going through the book, I noticed that I very much follow several of the relaxation methods such as going to bed early, using aromatherapy, enjoying a hot bath nightly, listening to soothing music, and keeping the TV off whenever possible. These things I do simply because I do NOT enjoy the opposites of any of these things. I do them because I like them.

But this feeling of wanting to choke someone out is constant. I get so furious with people (usually at stores and restaurants) and hold it in because in this day and age if you say one word as a woman, you're called a Karen, even though you've definitely been wronged by an inept worker or an ignorant civilian who deliberately or carelessly got in your way.

Note: I don't actually feel like being violent, but I do feel like a pressure cooker, and never know what will fly out of my mouth. Usually I find myself simply crying out of frustration because of others.

Is there a book for that? Because I don't feel like this one was it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 146 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.