Love Language: A memoir of family, music and pasta

by Linda Marigliano

A compelling, relatable and powerfully moving memoir of people-pleasing, family and what it means to love and be loved, from radio presenter and podcaster Linda Marigliano.

Linda Marigliano has built a career out of performing for other people. In her day-job as an on-air presenter or in her family home, she contorted herself into 'the cool girl' or 'the good girl', and struggled to ever truly switch off.

As she repeatedly over-committed and sought approval in all its guises, she started to ask Why am I like this? Combing through her complex relationship with her mother, the sense of duty within her extended Italian and Chinese-Malaysian families, and the twisting turns of both her career path and her love life, she noticed a pattern emerging. Her love language had warped into acts of service that pleased everyone but herself, without boundaries or exceptions. And she'd lost the ability to translate the vocabulary of love being spoken all around her.

Love Language is Linda's determined reclamation of her identity; a fiercely relatable and viscerally honest account of what it means to love and be loved.

'A tender and honest reflection of love in all its intricate forms, Love Language is achingly relatable and poignant. A truly beautiful book.' -  Julia Busuttil Nishimura, author of Around the Table

'Linda's raw and honest account of her journey to reclaim her identity and understand the true meaning of self-love resonated deeply with me. In the challenging times of Covid, Linda's courage to confront and unravel her internal script is both inspiring and relatable. Love Language serves as a timely reminder of the importance of self-discovery, personal growth and navigating love in the face of adversity. This book will captivate and inspire you.' -  Chantelle Otten, author of The Sex Ed You Never Had

'This will surprise no one, but Linda's book is absolutely brilliant. Linda's vulnerability is a gift to us all. A gift that enables us to take a step closer to our authentic self.' -  Hugh van Cuylenburg, author of The Resilience Project

'Linda writes about the complexities and hurdles of love, family and communication with tenderness, warmth and honesty. I loved it.' -  Jessie Ware, author of Omelette

'A tender, honest account of the courage it takes to do life your own way.' -  Kumi Taguchi, journalist and host of Insight

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Memoir

280 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 30, 2023

About the author

Linda Marigliano is one of Australia's most popular and respected personalities. From a loyal two million listeners at Triple J, to a permanent fixture in the Australian media for the past 15 years, Linda is the warm commanding host who has delivered creative projects across television, radio, podcasting and publishing.

In 2021, she created her award-winning podcast Tough Love and has regularly hosted the likes of Splendour in the Grass, Laneway Festival, New Year's Eve Live from The Sydney Opera House, and The Set on ABC TV.

Reviews

[Annie Loo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love, love, love Lindy. Could have had more pasta but eh, it’s amoré

[Anika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love love loved this. So many themes were relatable as a young woman but also as a mixed race/first gen person too, AND may I say I also found it healing in a way as a recovering people pleaser - recommend!

[Kimberly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel disappointed with this book. I picked this book up at my local library on the highlights shelf without knowing the author.

From the title I expected more heartfelt, warm moments, with family over food. Some of the stories about previous romantic relationships felt cold. I found myself wanting more introspection and personal growth for most if not all of the stories. The book felt unfinished because of this.

There is some vulnerability in dredging up the past I appreciate this. On the plus side, it was an easy read and there was momentum driving it forward.

[Beata · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I grew up listening to Linda on Triple J & was not expecting to find her audio book on Libby. There are lots of moments that mirror my own experiences of growing up with emotional neglect and it was nice to hear someone else relate.

The story flowed really well, and it was funny to find the storyline answer my internal questions almost as soon as they arose!

10/10 job Linda, if you're reading this, I'm really impressed!

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

The audiobook did me dirty. It had me fighting back tears as I walked down the streets. Tales of Nonna, obscenely large family gatherings and taralli punched me in the gut and felt all too familiar. I loved every minute of it.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amore ❤️

[Erin Robertson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve always felt an affinity for Linda, with our shared Eurasian heritage and common interests (music and food), and as a teenager, it was my dream to be a presenter on Triple J or ABC TV. I reserved a copy of this at the library as soon as it was released, and switched between reading and listening to the audiobook narrated by Linda herself (but of course).

I was anxious from the outset, as I knew I would be, having been a product of the same kind of people-pleasing society that 80s kids grew up in-stifling our own needs in order to make others happy, to our own detriment.

Linda recalls her insecurities and experiences in a way that is somehow both comforting and confronting. I’m not a big fan of romance or love stories as such, but as Linda writes, love expresses itself in many ways, and it’s not just about romance-it’s about the love we have for friends, family, our interests, and most importantly, ourselves.

Also, on a very base level, if someone’s describing food in a book I’m reading and I immediately want to eat said food, (doesn’t help that two of my favourite cuisines are Chinese and Italian), I reckon that’s a pretty good sign of a well-written book 😂.

For fans of Crying in H-Mart.

[Raquel Gazzola · Rating 5 out of 5]

So relatable. Adored this. Loved Linda’s bond with her Nonna 🥹

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I adored reading this! It just felt so real and so very Australian !

[Ashleigh Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adore Linda Marigliano. I highly recommend listening to her read the audiobook - it’s reminiscent of listening to her on TripleJ or one of her podcasts.

Linda is honest, candid and very generous in how she shares her relationships with different people in her life. I loved learning about her unique combo Italian/Chinese family life and the contrast in traditions.

Love this book. Get on it asap!

[Jasmin Goldberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

An easy read with sweet insights into the operations of a family, how different people show their love, and how we overcome some of our ingrained childhood behaviour and begin to show love for the people around us (and ourselves) as we grow older.

[Audrey Fithall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Asian daughters of first generation immigrants unite!

[Nabila · Rating 4 out of 5]

Relatable, cheeky, heartfelt

[EmG ReadsDaily · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully relatable memoir

[Sarah Bigg · Rating 4 out of 5]

this had me sobbing on a plane 🥹 a beautiful read!

[Katie Barraclough · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s crazy how much I could see myself in the author, her way of thinking was so relatable! Enjoyable and quick read, and gave me lots of food for thought with my own outlook on relationships with others and myself ❤️

[Rehanna Foster · Rating 3 out of 5]

A warm, easy read about identity, choosing yourself and recognising people pleasing when it shows up.

[Amy Louise · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5-4

Pros: relatable, warm, easy to read, not over done or too long.

Cons: some parts were drawn out or a little boring (skim read them), not hugely moving or brilliant/thought provoking.

[Rachel Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to the audio book and loved it in Linda’s own voice (and her impression of her family’s accents)

[Camila - Books Through My Veins · Rating 3 out of 5]

- thanks to @allenandunwin for a #gifted copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

I am ashamed to admit that I did not have Linda on my radar before hearing about her Memoir, but that is because I do not listen to the radio and because I listened to my first podcast ever just two weeks ago. I know, I know. I have been mostly living under a rock.

I knew Linda herself narrated the audiobook, so I did not hesitate to pick it up and switched between reading the physical book and listening to the audiobook. I do not doubt that sticking to the physical book only is a good enough experience, but the addition of the audiobook and its lovely narration was a fantastic combo for me.

I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know Linda, someone I knew virtually nothing about. Her life felt, at times, equally chaotic and adventurous, yet her reflections and commentary on family dynamics were the definition of food for thought. I felt pure compassion for Linda and her family from a personal understanding that migration is eternally complex and challenging to navigate. More often than not, I wished I could travel through the pages to give Linda a tight, loving hug.

The uncomplicated and straightforward writing was the perfect style for this Memoir. Far from anything remotely dry, the chapters were engaging and lively, and listening to the audiobook contributed to the feeling of being part of a very interesting and enthusiastic conversation. I also enjoyed following Linda's years of music, taking risks, and facing disappointment. I also related in depth to the need to leave relationships for growth and self-preservation.

This book is many things, but it is also a big slap in the face to wake up from the curse of people-pleasing. Nothing can ever compare with following your truth, your instinct, and, above all, your passions. Linda is the perfect example of this.

Overall, Love Language is a beautiful, insightful and uplifting Memoir with an incredible message of love in all its shapes and forms, but most importantly, self-love. Definitely recommended.

[April Bradford]

Memoirs are too personal to leave a star rating.

This is a quick read but still covers a lot. I think my favourite part of non-fiction is realising what you have in common with someone who has otherwise lived a very different life to you.

From showing love through food, to the exact run down of one of her relationship breakups, the details are so specific and yet universal.

[Reannon Bowen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve listened to Linda on triple j for years & enjoyed her podcasts & it was just as enjoyable listening to her book.

[Zoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many screenshots taken of passages that so beautifully describe very relatable feelings

[Wi Vern · Rating 4 out of 5]

All too relatable. Love it.

[Christian · Rating 4 out of 5]

There’s a moment in this memoir, where she’s describing her time doing silver service waitressing for rich old white men, in between recording and gigs with her band in London. The corpulent men typically either ignore or ogle her, but she finally realises she can’t do the job anymore when one old white man goes off on a monologue about her ‘obviously being one of the good ones, who’s learnt servility from the empire despite her clearly ‘exotic’ upbringing.’ It’s all kinds of fucked, but as she’s recounting this moment she refers to the men collectively as ‘Cauliflower-nosed bros,’ a phrase that caught me off guard, really made me laugh and stuck with me. I think it was this sense of humour Linda included throughout this book that elevated it for me.

I listened to the audiobook read by Linda herself, which is definitely the way to experience this one. It was like listening to good nights on triple j again, same good vibes. I always quite liked the vibe she bought to that show, making it feel like you were just hanging out with a good friend listening to some choons, and so yeah it was nice to feel the same vibes in this book.

Book follows Linda’s journey from perpetually wanting-to-please teenager, under the ever watchful matriarchal eyes of her Italian nonna and her Chinese mother, through to learning how to talk about her own wants and needs. As well as being able to understand the various ways her extended family express their love (hence the title). It’s well paced, and warm (with that interspersed humour), and I liked the openness with which it was written. The way it was bookended by a revelation bought on after an argument about a mattress protector with her mum was a cool quirky framing.

There’s some compelling moments described here. Such as the recounting of an insidious harasser regularly sending increasingly threatening letters to her workspace, and her desire not to rock the boat at work and ‘make it into a big deal.’ Her coming to grips with why she doesn’t actually love or want to marry the seemingly wonderful man she’s been in a relationship with for a decade. Her band distorting their collective artistic vision into the prescribed expectations of the record executives. Or a (somewhat strange) recounting of how, after her parents separated, for a long time her mum would come over to their house and clean while being ignored by the family, as despite the lack of reciprocation, that was how she knew to still show her love (/the way she felt she was required to show love for her family…).

I liked this one quite a bit, and appreciated the slow journey towards her own sense of self worth. A nice warm listen, despite some of the content.

[MEG · Rating 4 out of 5]

Linda Marigliano, the melodic radio-voice of companionship, present throughout numerous seasons of my life. In adoring her, I had little reservation that I would also adore her memoir.

An easy read, but one that had me uneasy from the get-go. Being able to relate to several of the heavy themes within her memoir, it was a deeply personal experience that left me laughing, crying and empathizing at every turn. It was a pleasure to see Linda's reflection and insights into her own life and personality. Seeing her growth and radical acceptance (of self, of others, of circumstances, of history) filled me with immense pride. Despite being short and sweet, Love Language has truly resonated with me, and I can't wait to see where Marigliano goes.

[Tommy Roberts · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been listening to Linda on the radio since I was twenty one and have always been impressed by the talent and enthusiasm she brings to her work. Her podcast during the pandemic on Tough Love was a bright light during a particularly lonely time for many.

It was a pleasure to get an insight into her life, like catching up with an old friend painting you a picture of their history since you've seen them last.

The memoir was full of relatable content for people pleasing perfectionists, navigating relationships from romantic, professional to familial.

[Chrysalis ✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Lindy and miss her on Triple J so listening to her soothing voice narrate her life was a must. It was heavier than I expected but I appreciate the bravery of sharing her tough relationship with her mother. Even when describing difficult moments, you can hear the love she has for her family and friends. As a fellow people pleaser, I was comforted by her candour and felt hopeful as she learned to set boundaries. Pairs well with a big bowl of warm pasta.