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Say uncle;: A completely uncalled-for history of the U.S.,
The world has been waiting for a new and authoritative history of the USA. This book is definitely not it. However, coming at a moment when relations between the US and Canada are a bit strained, publication of this history of the US as conceived by 2 Canadians may be fairly urged a masterpiece of bad timing. The authors have not only discussed the War of 1812 but have provided ample incentive for its renewal. This books scope and attention to detail can be grasped only when one knows that it originally consisted of 96 pages on the history of the US and 527 pages of errata. The present modest size of the book resulted from the discovery that it was cheaper to eliminate the pages of errata and arrange for the printer to be put aboard a boat bound for Argentina. The reader can therefor look forward to a unique experience. Familiar though he may be with de Tocqueville , Schlesinger and Adams, until he has viewed the history of the US through the eyes of Whalley and NIcol he cannot appreciate the importance of properly fitted glasses.
96 pages, Hardcover
Published January 1, 1951
About the author
Eric Nicol
65 books2 followersEric Patrick Nicol was a Canadian writer, best known as a longtime humor columnist for the Vancouver, British Columbia newspaper The Province. He also published over 40 books, both original works and compilations of his humour columns, and won the Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for Humour three times.
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
May 7, 2025
I would have liked this better if I'd read it in 1961, when it came out. I was merely a lad, but I'd have understood most of the jokes even then. There's even a chance that I did read it, because I'd read _1066 and All That_, which this apes (and apologizes to in the frontispiece) and the Rantoul Public Library might have had a copy.
The Sellar & Yeatman is a classic, and memorable for being witty and silly and clever. This is more silly than anything else. Its approach is that the Canadian authors can view U.S. history from the outside, without all the distractions that U.S. historians are prone to. It does have good lines:
"U.S. history would have made a better impression among foreigners if Americans had elected their Presidents in alphabetical order. Instead, they got off on the wrong foot with President Washington. And with John Adams right under their nose."
"The Interbellum, or Dull, Period XI
After the War of Independence the United States stood around rather aimlessly, wondering what to do next. It was too early to open up the West and too late to practice Puritanism, burn witches, etc.
Some Americans wanted to march up and liberate Canada from the British, but other Americans had heard about the roads up there."
My problem with this volume is that the humor is insensitive, making fun of slavery, for instance, in a cringeworthy way. At least a third of the jokes misfire, often seeming more rude than clever. I would characterize much of the humor as "thoughtless" rather than witty, going for the joke without any care as to the subject.
There is this prescient section at the end, though, which I feel required to quote in full:
B. The U.S. and Canada
During the history of both these countries it has often been suggested that Canada and the U.S. should unite as one nation. The objection has been that when first cousins marry their issue is apt to be a breed of idiots.
A good example of the union of a small northern country with a larger neighbor to the south is that of Scotland and England. This marriage resulted in the spread of a particularly violent type of idiocy (golf).
It also led to the economic exploitation of one country by the other, the Bank of England being taken over by Scots who refused to let the English borrow their own money. The English became entirely dependent on Scotland for the necessities of life, namely whisky.
Another difficulty arises in Canada's becoming the fifty-first state, i.e., the fact that Canada is not only larger than Texas but larger than the entire United States (including Alaska). The addition of such a gigantic state to the Union could mean having to put Rhode Island under sedation.
Also, presidential candidates waging cross-country campaigns would have to travel twice as far, as would their wives, with a 100 per cent increase in fatigue and very possibly some ugly scenes on the back platform of the train.
SENATOR SLUGS SPOUSE IN STE. AGATHE is not the kind of newspaper headline Americans want to read.
The only feasible union of the two countries is therefore that of making the United States Canada's eleventh province.
In a single, masterful stroke the U.S. loses an identity that is resented in many parts of the world and takes on the bland, inoffensive character that all countries know as Canada.
Americans will have a durable, high-test queen who is crowned regardless of how she looks in a bathing suit or whether she can play "Valse Triste" on the musical saw.
Best of all, the American people will once more be returned to the bosom of the British family of nations. The prodigal daughter, a little heavier, more buxom, will be back where she belongs, all of her brothers and sisters only too ready to forget that she ran away with that George fellow, and Mother England fondly patting the hand that wears those big, vulgar rocks."
In sum: mildly amusing, and somewhat forgettable.
The Sellar & Yeatman is a classic, and memorable for being witty and silly and clever. This is more silly than anything else. Its approach is that the Canadian authors can view U.S. history from the outside, without all the distractions that U.S. historians are prone to. It does have good lines:
"U.S. history would have made a better impression among foreigners if Americans had elected their Presidents in alphabetical order. Instead, they got off on the wrong foot with President Washington. And with John Adams right under their nose."
"The Interbellum, or Dull, Period XI
After the War of Independence the United States stood around rather aimlessly, wondering what to do next. It was too early to open up the West and too late to practice Puritanism, burn witches, etc.
Some Americans wanted to march up and liberate Canada from the British, but other Americans had heard about the roads up there."
My problem with this volume is that the humor is insensitive, making fun of slavery, for instance, in a cringeworthy way. At least a third of the jokes misfire, often seeming more rude than clever. I would characterize much of the humor as "thoughtless" rather than witty, going for the joke without any care as to the subject.
There is this prescient section at the end, though, which I feel required to quote in full:
B. The U.S. and Canada
During the history of both these countries it has often been suggested that Canada and the U.S. should unite as one nation. The objection has been that when first cousins marry their issue is apt to be a breed of idiots.
A good example of the union of a small northern country with a larger neighbor to the south is that of Scotland and England. This marriage resulted in the spread of a particularly violent type of idiocy (golf).
It also led to the economic exploitation of one country by the other, the Bank of England being taken over by Scots who refused to let the English borrow their own money. The English became entirely dependent on Scotland for the necessities of life, namely whisky.
Another difficulty arises in Canada's becoming the fifty-first state, i.e., the fact that Canada is not only larger than Texas but larger than the entire United States (including Alaska). The addition of such a gigantic state to the Union could mean having to put Rhode Island under sedation.
Also, presidential candidates waging cross-country campaigns would have to travel twice as far, as would their wives, with a 100 per cent increase in fatigue and very possibly some ugly scenes on the back platform of the train.
SENATOR SLUGS SPOUSE IN STE. AGATHE is not the kind of newspaper headline Americans want to read.
The only feasible union of the two countries is therefore that of making the United States Canada's eleventh province.
In a single, masterful stroke the U.S. loses an identity that is resented in many parts of the world and takes on the bland, inoffensive character that all countries know as Canada.
Americans will have a durable, high-test queen who is crowned regardless of how she looks in a bathing suit or whether she can play "Valse Triste" on the musical saw.
Best of all, the American people will once more be returned to the bosom of the British family of nations. The prodigal daughter, a little heavier, more buxom, will be back where she belongs, all of her brothers and sisters only too ready to forget that she ran away with that George fellow, and Mother England fondly patting the hand that wears those big, vulgar rocks."
In sum: mildly amusing, and somewhat forgettable.
June 7, 2025
This satiric take on the history of the United States was written by two Canadians in 1961. Some of the jokes may not be comprehensible to millennials or members of generations X, Y, Z, et al since they refer to cultural icons and stories familiar to baby boomers and the greatest generation. Some references may also be offensive to those other than MAGAites, although at least one reference may even offend their beliefs.
Nevertheless, this comic take on American history skewering many icons and historical canons has gained new relevancy in the current era with the promotion of a jingoistic and nativist nationalistic version of United States history by America’s leaders that harks back to an earlier era (nineteenth century and early and mid twentieth century).
The books comedic take, and black humor is a welcome relief in this era of nativism and intolerance. Although some may wince after reading this book because its jokes are too often uttered by well meaning people who mistake these tall tales and words for truth, anyone who knows history and understands the humor will close the book with a smile on their face.
Nevertheless, this comic take on American history skewering many icons and historical canons has gained new relevancy in the current era with the promotion of a jingoistic and nativist nationalistic version of United States history by America’s leaders that harks back to an earlier era (nineteenth century and early and mid twentieth century).
The books comedic take, and black humor is a welcome relief in this era of nativism and intolerance. Although some may wince after reading this book because its jokes are too often uttered by well meaning people who mistake these tall tales and words for truth, anyone who knows history and understands the humor will close the book with a smile on their face.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews