Self Indulgence

by Brendan Kane

Eliot Byrne, a single, 30-year-old stoner and failing author of children’s books, is resigned to rejection, poverty, and a life without purpose, but when his family intervenes and communicates their concern (actually their assumption) that he might (must) be suicidal, Eliot, out of spite, is forced to try to prove them wrong. Eliot decides to upend his life, as he tells Amber, his weed dealer and only friend, “I’m giving away everything I own and leaving to wander the desert until I become a guru.” Amber cannot withhold her skepticism, however, “Guru just means teacher. You can probably get a license from community college – I’m not sure how far the desert is going to get you.” Is Eliot answering a higher calling, or is he going off the deep end? Is he in the midst of a legitimate existential crisis, or has it just been too many years since he’s been laid? He hopes to learn the answers during his odyssey through contemporary Los Angeles, a place as stimulating as it is isolating. The eccentrics he meets along the way are more than happy to baptize him in their personal methods of deriving purpose in life. First, a group of adult entertainers educate him in the joys of hedonism. Failing to fit in, he then takes up with a Pastor who, via organized religion, attempts to show him that the best thing to stroke is his own immortal soul. Despite envying the ecstatic, faith-filled people he meets, there’s one pesky thing that prevents Eliot from joining up with his faculty for logic and common sense. For all his seeking, Eliot learns that “meaning” can only come from one place – it must be extracted from one’s own posterior. So, should he concoct a life-purpose so he can gloat to his parents and siblings, or should he just give in and kill himself?

217 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 28, 2016