Wannabe: Reckonings with the Pop Culture That Shapes Me

by Aisha Harris

"Aisha Harris is one of our smartest, most entertaining modern cultural critics. The nine pieces offer insight on Stevie Wonder, the Spice Girls,  Pen15,  and  New Girl --among many other pop artifacts, of course--which might as well be parlance for, ‘Read me immediately.'" -- ELLE Aisha Harris has made a name for herself as someone you can turn to for a razor-sharp take on whatever show or movie everyone is talking about. Now, she turns her talents inward, mining the benchmarks of her nineties childhood and beyond to analyze the tropes that are shaping all of us, and our ability to shape them right back. In the opening essay, an interaction with Chance the Rapper prompts an investigation into the origin myth of her name. Elsewhere, Aisha traces the evolution of the "Black Friend" trope from its Twainian origins through to the heyday of the Spice Girls, teen comedies like Clueless , and sitcoms of the New Girl variety. And she examines the overlap of taste and identity in this era, rejecting the patriarchal ethos that you are what you like . Whatever the subject, sitting down with her book feels like hanging out with your smart, hilarious, pop culture-obsessed friend--and it's a delight. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Audiobook, Memoir, Pop Culture, Adult, Music

1 pages, Audio CD

First published June 13, 2023

Reviews

[myo ⋆｡˚ ❀ * · Rating 4 out of 5]

enjoyed this a lot but the parts about the author not really liking rebooks and remakes due to nostalgia kinda annoyed me. i agree there are a lot of reboots and remakes because hollywood can’t come up with anything else but reboots and remakes are usually for the younger audiences, they’re not necessarily for you. anyways i think this author was very ballsy with a lot of things she discussed and i respect that. had to skip one of the chapters for the spoilers for a movie i haven’t seen yet 💔

[Bronte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aisha Harris might be one of the smartest minds of our generation. I wasn’t familiar with her work before reading this book, but the way she breaks down systemic issues like racism, sexism, and toxic fandom — all through the lens of pop culture — is so unique and insightful. This is a deceptively dense read if you allow yourself to really engage with it, and I don’t necessarily think it’s for the casual pop culture enthusiast. Each of the book’s nine essays contain so many ideas that warrant further examination and thought. The essay “Kenny G Gets It” has stuck with me the most so far: it’s discussion of fandom, our expectations of celebrities, and the way the internet has shapes the way we view identity was such a refreshing, honest but never accusatory take on a topic I think about frequently but typically hate reading about. I’m confident Harris could write a master’s level thesis on any one of the ideas she presented in this book and still leave me thoroughly engaged and entertained.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an advanced reader’s copy of this book.

[Devin Mainville · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always been the type of person who likes to think deeply about my entertainment. I can spend hours thinking (and talking, if anyone lets me) about the ways strategy has evolved on Survivor or the various histories and influences that go into a single Beyonce costume. But for a long time, pop culture criticism and analogy came from only one perspective - white men at least a generation removed from me.

So, reading Aisha Harris’ essays warmed my soul in a way I didn’t know I needed. But it truly moved me to have the same level of merit I’ve seen applied to Bruce Springsteen again and again applied to The Spice Girls. Her essays track her own journey towards self-acceptance through the pop culture she has loved and hated. She dissects everything from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn to Zola through a lens of race, gender and millennial angst. Harris has already made a name for herself as one of our smartest cultural critics, and this only cements her voice further.

And I may just print out her essay on why she doesn’t want to have kids to hand out whenever I’m asked about it.

[Brennan Klein · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s solid, but I do feel like every essay goes on a bit longer than it really needs to.

[Rod Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Road trip audiobook!

I found this in a listing of humorous memoirs, and while there are plenty of chuckles to be had, this is a little heavier than the celebrity fluff I usually listen to while driving, addressing racism, trauma, and voluntary childlessness amongst other topics. But Harris frames her essays with pop culture references -- e.g., Disney's The Lion King and The Little Mermaid films, the "Cousin Oliver" trope, and television series like Catastrophe, Sex and the City, and Russian Doll -- so there are relatable touchstones and moments of lightness even during the roughest parts.

Enlightening and amusing.


FOR REFERENCE

Contents: Introduction: Thank You, Rebecca Bunch -- 1. Isn't She Lovely -- 2. Blackety-Black -- 3. I'm a Cool Girl -- 4. Kenny G Gets It -- 5. Ebony & Ivory -- 6. This Is IP That Never Ends -- 7. On the Procreation Expectation -- 8. Parents Just Don't Understand -- 9. Santa Claus Is a Black Man -- Acknowledgments -- Notes

[Jessica McSweeney · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reminded me a lot of one of my favorite college classes, where we studied pop culture as it related to the values of society at the time they were made. Aisha is funny, so thoughtful, and has great pop culture taste 💁🏼‍♀️ If you’re at all interested in the intersections of movies, shows, music, and media with larger societal values you’ll love this!

[Tori · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Aisha’s work. And she’s one of my favorite voices in pop culture review. Some chapters read fairly long and I could have used more breaks in between but I understand the intent. Sometimes I lost the point due to all that was discussed but she always loops back and ties it together. Would recommend for any pop culture obsessed folks looking for a more intellectualized read and critique.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fantastic!!! I am a pop culture fanatic and frequently think about what's going on and what it means for society. This was a refreshing take on the influence of pop culture, especially relating to Black people. I'm now looking to see if she has updated any of these essays as I'm super interested in hearing further thoughts on the role nostalgia is currently playing in pop culture and her thoughts on Britney Spears.
I particularly liked her analysis of her name and people's perception of it. Well actually I really liked everything. The last few chapters were especially interesting.
I also think Santa should be a penguin!
Aisha's podcast definitely has a new listener.

[Pearl Grace · Rating 2 out of 5]

Prob would've been more effective if I was up to date with my pop culture.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of nine wonderful essays is about the author's childhood and how she grew up in the nineties. It talks about how pop culture influenced her life and the complex ways pop culture affects how we see ourselves and others. The author started by talking about the story of her name and how it impacted her identity and her history. She dives into some deeply complicated topics yet still manages to present them in a somewhat lighthearted way.

The author did an excellent job crafting deep essays we can all relate to while weaving in her own personal narratives. I think people will love this collection because it has so many pop culture references. And even though the stories were separate, many had connecting themes. The author wasn't afraid to tackle tough topics like race, gender, parenthood, feminism, and trauma and commentated on how pop cultures can affect us all.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC received from Net Galley, though opinions are my own.

A long-time listener of the PopCulture Happy Hour podcast, I was familiar with Aisha Harris and looking forward to reading this deep dive into pop culture. It was even better than I expected - with thoughtful insights on the role pop culture and entertainment play in our society and the effects it has on so many aspects of our lives. This book covers topics such as representation, racism, the choice to be child free, and more - while drawing parallels from the last several decades of pop culture.

[Olivia Craig]

I’m not going to rate this because I feel weird rating someone’s personal essays/experiences.

But I will say that I really enjoyed reading this and hearing Harris’ perspective on pop culture and how it has shaped her, as well as how it shapes all of us. I connected really strongly with some of her essays while others I just learned about her personal experiences.

If you want to read some analysis on pop culture, this is a good one for you!

[britt_brooke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pop Culture Happy Hour’s Aisha Harris addresses systemic trends in pop culture in a witty, and obviously, intelligent way. From Another Bad Creation’s singular hit (#iykyk and you might remember all the words) to the Spice Girls to Disney film families, and much in between. This was a solid listen and fun way to spend an afternoon. I wish it had been longer, or maybe that some essays had been shorter, making room for a couple more topics.

[Allie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was prepared to love this. Harris starts out with a story about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, a show I adore, which doesn't appear to be streaming anywhere anymore FOR SHAME.

I knew Harris's voice from Pop Culture Happy Hour (where she is one of the four main hosts), and she reads her own audiobook as well, but as I was listening I realized I didn't actually know anything about her. This book was part personal essay, part cultural criticism, part discussion of race as it applies to the pop culture we're raised on.

Harris and I are of the same generation, and have a lot of the same cultural touchstones (except that she's a pop culture critic and I've missed a lot of the TV shows and movies that have come along in the last five years). I generally like her dry, wry humor. And so I was enjoying Wannabe with its discussions about The Lion King, and The Babysitters' Club, and the one Black friend in every teen romcom from the '90s.

But the further I got into the book, the more annoyed I felt. There's a chapter about the rehashing of intellectual property and how nobody has new ideas anymore (which is true and also we all already know this). There's an essay about how Harris as a 30-something doesn't want kids, and how pop culture makes parenting seem awful, rife with examples about how kids ruin everything. (You do you, but I don't care, and I don't need to hear people shitting on being a parent - just experiencing it is hard enough.) Megyn Kelly shows up in an essay about there being more people of color and women in re-imaginations of existing IP, and how white has always been the default, and how white people can't or won't tolerate non-white people being centered in things. Yes, AND ... if you know anything about cultural criticism already, none of this is NEW.

The best parts were where she was applying things to her own life, like how her white middle school friends always expected Harris to be Scary Spice when they pretended, how she thought she was named after a Stevie Wonder song, and how her dad didn't want her to have white dolls growing up but she was desperate to play Ariel from the Little Mermaid (the '89 version), with ridiculous results.

I'll still enjoy Harris' work when she's on PCHH, but this was only okay.

[Bryan Cebulski · Rating 4 out of 5]

The essays in the second half get way too comfortable padding out the length with summaries of the media being discussed, but otherwise this was a great reflection on pop culture! Deep enough to awaken previously unconsidered aspects of trends in popular tv and film but accessible enough to appeal to people who don't read academic media studies essays for fun like some people (me) do.

[Rose Schrott · Rating 3 out of 5]

I remain a fan of Aisha. I liked learning more about her and hearing her extended thoughts on culture. I think the writing could have been tightened.

[Amanda Feldman · Rating 4 out of 5]

If only I could sound this smart talking about pop culture!!

[Nishat Peuly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly entertaining... I read this slowly and I'm glad I did. Kinda peeved that I can now spot the regular occurrence of the black/POC best friend in TV shows but happy that I can also appreciate how far representation in media has come today.

TY to NY public library for not fining me even though I returned this two weeks late ✨

[Matt Chisling (MattyandtheBooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mini-Review: WANNABE totally took me by surprise, and not just because I'm surprised how long it took me to read a book not-not named after one of the best pop songs of all time. I don't listen to NPR's pop culture podcasts and am not super familiar with Aisha Harris, so I was delighted when I found myself ready to learn more about her takes on Black representation in the media (iffy, at best!) the role of critics of color in the arts (we need more of them!) and the recognition of the ways that our media consumption has changed due to technology have ruined monoculture and, in turn, our ability to have shared world views about the importance of media. The work is smooth like butter, just a little salty, and wholly delicious. A rave from me.

[Kate Kiriakou · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5. I really appreciated Harris's voice in her essays; her personality comes through strong and makes this book feel like an hours long conversation with a friend. I especially appreciated her essays Blackety-Black (on being a Black critic of Black art) and Kenny G Gets It (in which she addresses our near inability to distinguish between fandom as identity and personhood), both supremely timely and thoughtful.

In On the Procreation Expectation, I thought she'd focus on the pop culture pressure to become a parent and instead primarily argued that she couldn't possibly fathom why a person would choose parenthood. She included abrupt (seeing as there was no pop culture connection at all) asides about climate change and possibly being an anti-natalist and strange examples to back up her case (It seems obvious the majority of people don't have children under the circumstances of Knocked Up or Breeders, and yet those are primary examples?). It also seemed she had the capacity to empathize with those who regret having children.. yet not those who don't hold that regret but also experience days of exhaustion and frustration. It came off as "I can empathize, if you agree with me" which sucks. I'm also child-free, but if you expect folks to respect that you can make your own choices as a grown adult, we should be doing the same to those who choose differently than ourselves.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've loved the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast for a long time and the show only got better when Aisha joined the crew full time so I was excited to hear this book was coming out. I really enjoyed this deep dive into pop culture through the lens of Aisha's life. We're similar ages so I related to quite a few of her experiences, but the ones I didn't relate to were just as interesting. Read this if you like Lindy West's movie essays. Harris narrates the audiobook and it is fantastic.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although Aisha Harris is the co-host of NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour and known for her writing on movies—this book was my introduction to her and I’m so glad I picked it on a whim. I love essays on the pop culture that forms us, whatever it may be, and I really loved that we had a lot of similar touchstones.

Harris has so much to say about the tendency we have to let sitcoms, tv, music and movies prop up our identities and the danger of that when we don’t let ourselves look at the things we enjoy or the artists we love with a critical eye. I enjoyed this audiobook so much and found myself looking at some of my favourite things like the show New Girl, the movie Clueless and the function of being a reviewer in a different light.

Being forced to be Scary Spice by her white friends when she wanted to be Baby or Posh, going unintentionally and brutally viral when writing about Black Santa for Slate and her thoughts on what types of Black stories are allowed to be told and by who… no matter where she led in Wannabe, I wanted to follow. Super well-narrated, I listened to this while putting my new bookshelves together, it felt like a deep endless convo with your new best friend about all the the things you both love but sometimes have to side-eye.

Great read.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pop culture = life.

I absolutely enjoyed Aisha Harris’s series of essays on the relevance of pop culture in modern living. I feel I have learned so much about myself and for myself (though I have always known that you’re not supposed to flush tampons, so sorry Aisha) that pop culture is my third parent.

In these essays, Harris uses pop culture as a lens to explore important social topics like racism, parenthood, feminism, and generational trauma. I thought they were all well written and insightful (and funny!) but would’ve loved a closing essay to wrap everything up - her final essay has maybe two paragraphs as a conclusion but would prefer an additional essay to tie everything together.

Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Beth Evans · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, shoot. Someone I admire wrote a book I really did not like. Some of the ideas drove me nuts because many critics - including the author - have been saying them for years. Yes! I agree! But it’s been said. Other ideas drove me nuts because they were just bad ideas.

For instance, she is childfree by choice. That’s awesome and I love that for her. Using an entire chapter, with dead. serious. references to Judd Apatow movies and the Duggar family to explain why having kids isn’t just bad for her, but bad for everyone, made me want to scream. How does one bemoan lazy stereotypes and call for more nuance, only to wind up here? With Apatow?

This was 2 stars for me, but because I still like Aisha Harris and I want only good things for her, so I gave her an extra star.

[Armoni97 · Rating 5 out of 5]

(audiobook!)

If you read Trick Mirror by Gia Tolentino and were looking for an essay collection to fill the void, look no further than Wannabe: Reckonings with Pop Culture that Shapes Me!

This essay collection really blew me away and I really enjoyed it way more than I even anticipated. It was humorous while also discussing important topics on critiquing black art as a black person, black names, black friends and sidekick movie and tv show tropes, and even a request for a black santa. Harris kept me so engaged during each essay and has an incredible sense of humor–I would highly reccommend the audio book because she herself narrates it.

I think my favorite essay discusses how nostalgia for our favorite movies and TV shows keeps us and the media companies trapped in this endless loop of reboots and remakes—which honestly I had not really pondered until she brought it up and now I can’t stop thinking about it. How many movies are actually new, original thoughts and not just remakes of a past movie?

I need Harris to write another collection…asap..please..

[Elise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was fun one! Thoroughly enjoyed Harris’s perspective and takes on pop culture. The one essay that lost me was on her child-free life.

I’m so happy she’s in touch with herself enough to know that parenting would not be a good fit for her life, but as someone who did choose to have a child it was painful to hear that she views parenting as an end to a friendship or a good time at an outing. Becoming a mother ended the version of me I was before, and for that I have compassion and gratitude for my new self. I do sacrifice a lot, but I’m so happy I get to share my love in such an unconditional way. And I’m also grateful for the people who stick around and battle through fractured conversations and split attention because it’s just a fact that I’m not the most important person in my life at all moments of the day. How special is that? What a service to the world that acts of love can be a legacy.

[Eleni Flores]

DNF at 34%

I thought this book was going to be more of a general look at how 90s pop culture shaped a generation, but I was very wrong. I guess that's on me for not doing enough research about it. But I'm also just not sure who this book is written for. I grew up just a few years after Harris, but felt almost no connection at all to her experiences. Granted, I am white and the first couple chapters at least largely focus on her experiences as a Black woman, so I can only assume this will hit better among a Black audience raised in the 90s. Either way, these essays didn't really warrant the publishing of a whole book in my opinion.

[Bryony Crain · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was thought provoking, funny and highly relatable as a fellow 80s baby! The 9 essays in the book used examples from popular media to discuss topics related to race, family dynamics, and identity development. My favorite essays were “Blackety-Black: How to Be a Critic (of Black Art)” where she talks about how her identity as a Black woman does or does not influence how she critiques art by Black creatives, and “I’m a Cool Girl” which talks about how her desire to be seen as “The Cool Girl” by men influenced her romantic relationships. A great choice if you like pop culture and sociological analysis!

[Julie Van Can · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5. I always love hearing Aisha Tyler on Pop Culture Happy Hour, so it was a treat to spend a longer period of time with her in my ears. This book really is smack dab in between memoir and critical essays - I think I might have responded to it more strongly if it had leaned a little more into one or the other. As is, it’s a good collection of insightful and well thought out essays, but they didn’t register that strongly to me emotionally. The standouts were the opening and closing essays, as I felt those were the most successful at blending her personal experience with astute pop-culture criticism.

[Lauren 📚 · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were so many times in this book where I saw myself. Enjoyed the many pop culture references and how they related to her life. Would recommend this to any millennial looking for a reflective read.
Also I really want to be Aisha’s friend. ☺️