I'll Let Myself In: Breaking down doors, claiming space and finding your wheels

by Hannah Diviney

A defiant coming of age story about a young woman coming to terms with all that she is, the good, the bad and the ugly.

When it occurred to me that the only real books I'd ever read with disabled characters in them were specialty books, displayed and designed exclusively for therapy settings, some of the hollowness I'd learnt to live with started making sense.

Hannah Diviney has always known that her experience of the world was fundamentally different from those around her. While her friends went to soccer and dance and Little Athletics, Hannah was going to physio and doctors' appointments. While her friends got jobs, fell in love and went clubbing, Hannah surrounded herself with the fantastical worlds she found in books. But books where people like her were nowhere to be found.

Refusing to accept the narratives, or lack thereof, that she'd been given, Hannah was determined to forge her own path in a world that wasn't designed for her, and to be the representation she'd always wanted to see.

Both deeply personal and yet utterly relatable, I'll Let Myself In is a young woman's battle-cry over the voices who try to tell her who she can and can't be, and a reminder not to wait to be invited to the table but to break the door down and demand to be heard.

'Brilliant, bright, defiant, moving, contagious. Hannah's flame leaps from the page straight into your soul. May it spread like a brushfire. This book is the proof point that disability does not mean deficit.' - Grace Tame

'Hannah is here to change the world. Let's get out of her way.' - Zoe Foster Blake

'A magnificent book from our very own Hannah Diviney. A deeply insightful coming of age story with a genuinely remarkable woman at its heart. I loved it. Well done Hannah!' - Turia Pitt

Genres: Nonfiction, Disability, Memoir, Audiobook

206 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 12, 2023

Reviews

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I chose to listen to this on a whim (and bc it's short and I need to complete my reading challenge this year) and I'm glad I did!

I've read a few memoirs and it's good to hear different people's life stories, but it hits different when you can relate to the experiences of the person. Hannah Diviney is only a few years older than me and is a similar demographic, so I could relate to certain experiences, pop culture interests and world events she described, while not having any prior knowledge about other experiences or challenges she faced, such as those related to cerebral palsy and her work as an advocate. She writes (and reads) beautifully and I found this a great book to listen to near the end of the year. I look forward to whatever she writes next and I'll check out some of the projects she's been involved in! :)

[Michelle Buddhi · Rating 5 out of 5]

No words. Just something you must read in this lifetime.

[Matthew L · Rating 5 out of 5]

A biography about vulnerability, struggles and taking action, choosing to do something instead of waiting. I’ll let myself in looks at the childhood of Hannah with cerebral palsy, her passions in music and movies then ultimately to the intersection between her personal struggles about identity and the portrayal of women and disabilities and the actions she took to step forward as a twitter personality, journalist, actor and writer. Written with honesty, self awareness and hope. A well written first book and I hope she continues whatever stories she chooses in fiction, non-fiction or acting as a Disney princess.

[Liv · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a woman!! 💖

[Jessica Frances · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

[Natasha (jouljet) · Rating 3 out of 5]

From the powerhouse disabled advocate who called out two of the biggest music stars of today, and had them rewrite and re-record released songs to eliminate a disability slur. The young Aussie with CP who started the petition for a disabled Disney Princess. One of the voices behind alternative media platform Missing Perspectives.

Hannah shares her life so far, all 24 years of it, from those premature and scary beginnings for her parents, to filming a love scene as the lead in a television series. She navigates school and university, lockdowns during COVID times, bullying at school because she's different, inaccessible locations, medical and therapy rollercoasters, and mental health challenges.

Calling out, and by creating a space for inclusion, Hannah challenges and presents a more accessible way for everyone. Indeed, a better place.

There is so much to listen and take in here, even as a seasoned ally. We can never hear too much of the perspectives of the young and disabled, with an examination of mainstream behaviour, thinking and balance - we should be hearing voices like Hannah's in every aspect of the media, and see every body in every room. She's given us much to think about, and work to be done.

[Miss Riggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sick of not seeing herself in fairy-tales and fantasies where someone like her is the hero, Hannah Diviney wrote her own, it just happened to be true.

I’ll Let Myself In is a fabulous memoir that is as strong a debut any author could publish. Every bit as angry and rebellious for her own voice to be heard as it does champion the minority voices that chant their own personal song alongside her. She is fierce, critical, cynical and hopeful. Her journey through pain, grief and isolation, turning into pride and connection with those around her and speaking up for the need to continue making waves to battle misogyny and ablism.

She lets herself in, and leaves the door open so the generations after her can rush right on through.

(Full Review Here: https://wordpress.com/post/missriggie...)

[Yakira Kayte · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic book. Hitting so many crucial topics but in an easy to read, and somewhat humorous light. This book has opened my eyes on ableism and while I’m conscious hat I’ve likely used ableist slurs in the past without realising, I will be making a conscious effort to do better, to be an ally. Thanks for writing this book Hannah.

[Kate Seager · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wish I could give this book more stars because I genuinely think it’s a must read, but the writing style just wasn’t my cup of tea! It astounds me that Hannah is just 24 years old and has lived so fully already. I’m excited to see what comes next from her writing career.

[Eddy Hendriksen · Rating 5 out of 5]

An exceptional wordsmith with a powerful tale to tell.

[Ava Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I inhaled this book. It was beyond incredible, I loved every page, every word, hungry to consume more. Hannah writes with such empathy, combining her life experiences in with pop culture, media, and other references that can be shared among many. I found myself relating to many, many things Hannah was writing about, especially her experience at school. This book was not only read by me, but my mum, and grandmother. I read out segments, and sent photos of phrases and passages to them, they were sinking into the pages, reminiscent of Hannah’s life, and her tenacity to succeed. Lastly, Hannah was able to effectively highlight the paradoxical nature of loneliness, expanding on the shared, and individual experiences of living with a disability, or a chronic condition. This book is fierce, fuelling you with a newfound confidence, and appreciation of yourself. It’s not a memoir, or self help book, but rather just Hannah’s story, secrets, and innermost thoughts. It truly was like chatting to her in person. I loved this, and will love it eternally.

[cordelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hannahs spirit leaps off the page from the start and stays with you long after you close the book. I was lucky enough to spend two days with Hannah and i can say this book is so genuinely her and her voice so authentic, i could nearly hear her through the sentences.
Her passion, creativity, hunger, anger and strength is conveyed so well in this book and is an absolute must read.
I lost count of the amount of times i teared up or laughed out loud.
Hannahs raw honesty about her life journey so far is powerful and a harsh reminder of the ableist society we live in and that we need to do better, whilst she is also highlighted the magic of the human experience and the unifying power of music, art and dance (and of course the power of being a 14 yr old fangirl on tumblr)

[Misha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Latecomers is an excellent short series and Hannah acts superbly in it. I couldn’t finish her autobiography. I tried twice. Maybe I’m getting old, but it felt like an extended blog post to me. I thought it could do with editing out a lot of the quips, especially the ones in brackets (the little sarcastic bits). Perhaps the editors were trying to keep Hannah’s voice authentic, and I kept trying to remind myself - this is how people talk in their early 20s. In the end, after starting to get cranky every time I ran into these irritating asides, I remembered I don’t have to read this book. I will look out for her other writing because I did enjoy Hannah’s storytelling in this book when it appeared, for example her birth story and uni interview etc.

[Kerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to put this book down several times while reading it, as memories of my own school years and experiences of medical trauma came flooding in. I’m more than 30 years older than Hannah and found it distressing to read that school was still a difficult place for disabled people - not that I didn’t know that but I still found it depressing! Congratulations Hannah on writing such a raw, honest, evocative and ultimately hopeful book.

[Cathryn Wellner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you, Hannah Diviney, for your gutsy, insistent voice. This is the kind of insight we need to rework inaccessible spaces, in our cities, in our buildings, and in our minds. I've had the good fortune to have friends over the years with all kinds of abilities and challenges, but I will always have much to learn. You've deepened my education.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure, I was unable to read this book in its entirety just because as someone with a disability, who also grew up in Australia, I found myself reflected in the pages in a way that was a little too confronting. What I did read was insightful, humorous and intelligent and I hope to return to it one day and finish the rest when it hits a little less close to home.

[Isabella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unbelievable. I thought Last Shot by Jock Zonfrillo which was my first biography couldn't be beaten but this one takes the golden prize. Phenomenal. If you don't read this book, it's a crime. I'm so happy to be in my Biography era thank you Jock for starting it and Hannah for making it a definitive and unforgettable period in my reading journey. More to come...

[Jamie Cullen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an amazing look from the perspective of a person with a disability that won’t let that define them. So many situations that I have never thought of. A great way of telling their story with no holes bared. An all around very interesting person.

[Steven Kolber · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really expansive book, gives you a really interesting insight into a life lived, before shifting towards the more recent ‘famous arc’ of the story. Really changed some of my views and perspectives on the world, a good read also.

[Adina Thavisin · Rating 5 out of 5]

An unflinchingly honest and moving memoir of a brilliant young woman who happens to be a wheelchair user with CP. A must-read for anyone wanting to better understand the need for accessibility and inclusion across all spheres. The author’s narration on her audiobook was outstanding.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an epic young woman🙌🏻

[Caddyshack Project · Rating 4 out of 5]

Caddyshack three word review:
Authentic, open & strong

[Jazz Maree · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good book exposing the inequalities of Australian systems of people who are disabled. I loved the authors story.

[Natasha Mehta · Rating 5 out of 5]

love love love

[Briar Harte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest and inspiring. Loved every word.

[Gail · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll Let Myself In: Breaking down doors, claiming space and finding your wheels by Hannah Diviney
I found this book to be very interesting - written by a 25 year old girl with CP who has become a disability advocate. Hannah provides insights into her life - amazing things she has done, challenges and disappointments. Hannah is very upbeat and positive. I enjoyed the youthfulness and current/ modern style of her writing. The book took me off to search and watch a tv show, find and listen to her own music playlist and a website - missing perspectives , that she has been involved in ( and made me feel old!) Her writing is very good at nailing and interpreting various issues- from mental health, disability, and others.

[Jorja Leigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Page 31
How can a child truly understand and come to terms with something that really doesn’t have an answer!?
What does a moment like this do to a young psyche?
Well it sets them ablaze, burning a hole through their chest so large that they wonder why no one else can see the flare of their distress and the cavern it’s leaving behind.

The relief I felt at knowing u wasn’t alone in conjuring this other world was immeasurable.

Pg 56
The only good thing about a no is that whatever form it takes, the yes is all the sweeter when it finally comes

Why was no one asking her able bodied sisters if they are going for the Olympics
Perhaps because they understood you only go to the Olympics at the most elite level
Not just anyone can qualify
The same respect isn’t there for paraolympians
Pg 75/76

More independent didn’t mean less disabled
Life as a disabled person was only valuable if I inspired, battled, fought and triumphed.

Roads and traffic ads indicating it will cause disability
Presenting disability as an accident

79
81 eating

Page 104
Hsc reminiscence
Really
Spoke to me

Pg 127

Pg 135

Page 178
Ever since my first desire for my life to end in order to spare me the pain, my knowledge of that escape hatch has never truly gone away - like a door that never quite closes properly,
183
Take naps not just because I’m exhausted physically or creatively, but just because I’m tired of being conscious.
185 a particularly fierce bout of eeyore blue loneliness

O
Pg 192
Didn’t realise plastic straw removal was so bad for disabled

[Other Terrain · Rating 5 out of 5]

What if an unfortunate accident or medical miscalculation changed the entire course of your life? Would you hide in the shadows or use what makes you different as a powerful force? Writer, disability and women’s rights advocate, co-founder and Editor-in-Chief of Missing Perspectives, and star of Latecomers Hannah Diviney’s first book I’ll Let Myself In claims her power, space and reclaims the narrative of her lived experience with cerebral palsy.

“I was three years old the first time I realised that I was different from other kids.”

In her memoir, Diviney tackles some deeply personal memories and reflects on who she was, the woman she is becoming and how willing the world is to let her in. From the first heartbreaking time she realised at pre-school that she was not like her friends to being excluded from her high school formal, Diviney brings the reader into her heartbreak, isolation and disappointment...
https://www.otherterrainjournal.com.a...

[Georgina Leigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant book from an incredible woman. I can't wait to see what Hannah does next. Her eloquent and forth write style makes for enjoyable, provocative, important reading. Everyone should read 'I'll let myself in'.

[Cassie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant, ground-breaking and a great read!