Church Conflict: The Hidden Systems Behind the Fights

by Charles H. Cosgrove, Dennis D. Hatfield

If church is like a family, it fights like one too! As in any family, conflict in the church family is natural and inevitable. But the way the church family handles its fights can make or break ministry. By using stories and examples of real problems at actual churches, Cosgrove and Hatfield have applied family-systems theory to help us identify the hidden structural boundaries in any group relationship. They show how the dynamics and 'family rules' operating in the informal family-like church system powerfully influence how church members relate to each other.

192 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 1994

Reviews

[Vincent Derr]

This book provides a helpful frame for understanding and navigating Church Conflict. It is practical and helped me not only understand current dynamics but it also helped me interrogate my past experiences. When this book sticks to its thesis it is really good, but a times it veers off into maying controversial theological arguments. It largely seems like these tangents rather than adding to the book distract. Like with most Christian books it could have been shorter, but overall a good book.

3.5 out of 5

[Wade Allen]

I have been deep in Charles Cosgrove and Dennis Hatfield's book *Church Conflict: The Hidden Systems Behind the Fights* the past two days. The work is extremely insightful. They state their purpose in the first chapter.

"Our thesis is that behind the official systems of local church (its offices, boards, committees, etc.) there is another system, a familylike system, which powerfully determines the way that church members relate to one another, do business together, care for one another, and fight with one another." (p. 5)

Few pastors would discount this truth. Most of the time, we recognize these systems only in hindsight. Cosgrove and Hatfield suggest that leaders take the time to map these systems. While acknowledging that maps are incomplete, they believe the work will be helpful in identifying church dynamics.

Once systems are mapped, the work of pastors is to positively affect these systems. This can only happen if leaders are willing to identify and "join" the family system. The authors admit that this is an act of faith. At the same time, if pastors are unwilling to "join", their work is trivial.

"Ministering without joining the family makes the pastorate a professional activity at odds with the way of Christ and the Spirit." (p. 184)

This work is full of wisdom nuggets. Cosgrove and Hatfield write from experience and are keenly aware of people dynamics and dysfunction. Taking the time to reflect on your particular family system should prove helpful.

In terms of church decision-making, this work offers valuable communication counsel. The work of hearing every voice is not easy; yet we must strive to make this possible. Those who abuse power need to be identified and called out. Only as we learn to function as a healthy family can adequate discerning take place.

[Terri Milstead]

I had purchased this book as one on a suggested text list for a church administration class I took two years ago. Now in my first church, I pulled it out and read it hoping for some insight into dealing with a conflict that is going on. The book did help me think through the type(s) of conflict I am seeing and also helped me think through what my role should be and how I should approach handling it. Will remember this book and will use as a reference going forward, I would think.

[Kingsley Layton]

Very helpful and resourceful.