Down Aisle Ten

by Daniel Friedland

DOWN AISLE TEN is a fictional history of Universal Simultaneous Anxiety Collapse Disorder, an incapacitating disease that arises from the abundant fears that surround us in the modern world. The first sufferer is Harold Greensmeyer, who contracts USAC while at the supermarket. He is soon confined to a mental hospital, where he encounters a cast of curious characters – the compulsive psychiatrist who tries to treat him, a woman convinced that she and Harold are fated to marry, and a befuddled cop who believes Harold is a mystic. When USAC spreads and the hospital is quarantined, they escape together in search of answers, love, and a cure.

Genres: Contemporary, Humor, Comedy, Fiction

231 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 30, 2012

Reviews

[Horton Deakins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think the author, Mr. Friedland, had me and others with the same dry sense of humor in mind when he wrote this book. Or perhaps it was aimed at snarky people, as someone (name withheld) once suggested I may fall into that category. To give you an idea of the type of humor you will find in this book, try to imagine Bob Newhart on steroids and methamphetamines writing scripts for the “Friends” TV series. I know that’s difficult, and it does put one at risk for “going down aisle ten” to contort the brain into such oxymoronic thought patterns, but it does speak to the great accomplishment by the author in this writing. I give one warning to the reader: Do not drink milk through a straw while reading this book if you do not wish the white liquid to foam from your nose.

[Joanne Hale · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read "down aisle ten" by daniel friedland. And truth be told, it is one of the most well written, interesting, nerve-catching novel, that makes you read the whole book in one sitting if you could. I could not keep my eyes off the pages, the characters are well written, honest, and interesting individuals with interesting lives, past, and soon-to-be-read futures.

It starts off literally in aisle ten, and leaves you in the same place, wondering why this started, prying on social anxieties and making you want more.

I am not going to give up any of the story, because it is written so tightly interwoven throughout that any part i give up will give away something to someone. so i am just going to leave you, the reader of my review with some questions to make you hanker for more.

Did cookie really mean anything? What was the point of chicken?

Interesting, well written, thank you daniel friedland for choosing me to read this book (recieved free from goodreads, but it has no way influenced my review). Couldn't be happier, or more informed about the foamers.

Can not wait to read more from you.
-joanne

[Marilou George · Rating 5 out of 5]

The world is introduced to a new disease called the Universal Simultaneous Anxiety Collapse Disorder (USAC). Harold Greensmeyer, the first known victim of this disease, contracted it while shopping down aisle ten of the supermarket where he falls to the floor frothing at the mouth and all he can say is “Cookie”. The disease is caused when the victim becomes suddenly aware of all the anxieties confronted in daily life. Harold is committed to the State Mental Hospital where it seems that there is no cure for this disease.

This is an intelligent, clever and interesting story focusing on human behavior and the often irrational craziness of modern day life and the decisions people make. I found myself completely taken with the characters as each one is introduced and blended into the story. Dr. Edward is an unforgettable character as he tries to make sense of the disease and some sense out of his own life.

This book is a deliciously dark and humorous look at the anxieties that afflict people in the world we live in. It is thought provoking and totally engaging from start to finish. I enjoyed Down Aisle Ten very much and definitely recommend it to all readers.

[Hope · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's always nice, while readin on lunch break, to snort coffee through your nose as coworkers question your sanity. Reading DOWN AISLE TEN is like your most snarky, humorous friend telling you a story about his/her crazy adventures.

At only 220 pages, the novel is easy to read straight through. I only put it down in order to perform basic functions of life.

The premise is focused around observations on psychosis...in the style of a handed-down-folk-tale your grandpa might share regarding some incident you weren't yet born to witness. What makes this book so side-spliting is the author's spot-on insight into our American human conditions.

I strongly counsel you to read this book! :)

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great debut novel. It is a quick read, but definitely provokes some serious thought, while keeping everything pretty light. I have seen many comparisons to Vonnegut, and I definitely think that is fair. The tone is definitely similar to that of Cat's Cradle, or Breakfast of Champions. I could see this as a film by the Coens at some point in the future. I look forward to the author's future work.

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing! It is so rare to get a really good social satire; this is the real deal. My dream would be for Hugh Grant to read the audiobook version. The writing is that silky. It is so profound at the end that I suggest you choose a line from the last couple of paragraphs, write it on a sticky, and put it on your bathroom mirror. With books like these, I think there is hope after all.

[Ray Kluender · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well-written, concise novel.

The Vonnegut comparisons are overblown. Friedland ascribes to the Vonnegut tenet that "Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action" but aside from that it doesn't quite hold up.

All that being said, I would certainly read a second book by Friedland, even if Down Aisle Ten was essentially forgettable.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book because the review on Facebook said it was like Don DeLillo meets Kurt Vonnegut. Obviously I imagined it couldn't really be that good... and it wasn't. But it was interesting and funny and weird. And those are all good things. I would recommend it if you're looking for something kooky and somewhat compelling but not necessarily mind-blowing.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was mental. A bit too mental for my tastes I think. It reads like a spoof medical article that's stretched out into a novel which mean't that the pacing didn't really suit me at all.

If you want a quick quirky read then give a go. Just don't expect anything mind blowing plot or character wise.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I started reading this book I thought- Hey! He wrote about me. Hand sanitizer and I are close friends. Friedland has managed to write a clever and darkly funny book on society's obsessive worryings. It is full of quirky characters and spot-on social observations. I high recommend it.

[Alisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful, albeit psychologically apocalyptic novel. If you liked Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you'll love this book. May all of us be safe from Universal Simultaneous Anxiety Collapse Disorder! Although chances are, Daniel Friedland just might be a prophet... COOKIE! *foams*

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

A rough-edged, whimsical novella that's stronger in prose and character development than it is in plotting.

[Loverlypurple · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun read. At first this story was a bit hard to get into but into the third chapter I was hooked. I enjoyed the development of all the quirky characters.

[Brian Murphy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great concept, but action drags at times. Very Vonnegut-esque

[Csimplot Simplot · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book!!!

[Clare Coupe · Rating 1 out of 5]

Never finished... Did not captivate me.

[Allison Shifman Chartier · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny. Reminded me of Kurt Vonnegut.

[Derek Wolfgram · Rating 4 out of 5]

one of the most Vonnegutian things not written by Vonnegut that I've ever read.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clever, funny story about a fictional, contagious mental illness related to anxiety and fear.