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Confessions of a Transylvanian

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Confessions of a Transylvanian is a one-of-a-kind, backstage look at the greatest cult movie phenomenon of all time—the live Rocky Horror Picture Show—told by those who lived it. Confessions is a moving snapshot of life in a Rocky Horror cast that captures the grit, language and teenage angst of a group of fishnet-clad performers as they explore a world where the only rule Don't dream it. Be it. So get ready to take that jump to the left and that step to the right...and do the time warp again.

356 pages, Paperback

First published June 12, 2012

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Kevin Theis

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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
Profile Image for Alice.
90 reviews5 followers
November 8, 2014
Reading this brought me right back to my own Rocky days in the early 90s. It's amazing to me how similar the experience is for those of us who wander in and find ourselves suddenly "home" for the first time. Though I no longer perform, or even attend regularly, I still love Rocky and firmly believe it saved my life. I hope it continues to do so for young misfits for many, many more years to come.
Profile Image for April.
2,640 reviews175 followers
March 17, 2015
First off, shut up and sit down, if you have a problem with cursing, ya better pick another f*cking book!

To say I loved this book is an understatement!! I grew up in another section of Florida and several years later, but boy do I wish I could have been a part of this! Listening to the adventures of the Wild and Untamed Things, brought happy tears to my eyes. I am a theatre gal from way back, so I know how being in a cast becomes a family. To be a part of something so special, is truly a joy.

As is the case with audiobooks read by the author, I feel like I am one of the gang, in a totally non stalker groupie sort of way! Listening to all the backstage mishaps and drama was a thrill. I feel like I have come to know Kevin, Russ, Donnie, Kenny, Boyd, Sunday, Tracey, Andrea, MarK, Iris, Tony, Felicia, Storme and Ron. So many others popped up, but these are the ones that stick in my head.

You get to see, Jack, wink wink, grow up and become a man through his time with the cast. He went from a fan to true part of the show. It was a treat hearing all the backstage insider secrets.

He is also wonderful at explaining, to the uninitiated, why Rocky Horror is such a cult favorite. Why this live experience can mean so much to fans. It is lightning in a bottle, you just hope for a glimpse if not a chance to touch it. It says it is okay to be who you are and welcomes all comers. Don't just dream it, be it!

I listened to the audiobook narrated by Kevin (Jack) Theis, who is fabulous. His pace is brisk, so if you can't keep up ya better slow it down a notch on the speed settings. You really do not want to miss a thing. This is one of the cases where I wholeheartedly endorse the author reading the material. Nobody else could have given the enthusiastic and energetic read. It felt like we were old friends chatting and catching up on old times. Heck, I feel like we are pals after spending 11 and a half hours with him. Count me in for the next reunion! LOL

This is a must listen/read for any Rocky fan. You will feel that love and energy all over again. This is at times hilarious and pinpoint. To think these kids were only 16ish and the lessons they taught each other. The understudies section was particularly wonderful. To be in that position and step down, even for one night a month, is huge!

While I adored the audio, I am afraid I missed out on things that would be in the print. I am going to scope out the ebook and see if there are photos, I need faces to go with these stories. I would recommend getting both, because this really was a delightful listen! ( get your extras fix at the website!)

Disclosure – I received this audiobook in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts opinions and ratings are my own. I was under no obligation to post a review or give positive feedback.

*** I hope this review was useful to you and helped your decision to read or not read this book. I love reading and sharing my opinions with other readers. I listen at double speed; all my impressions of the narration are from that setting. Thanks for taking the time to read my review! You can see more audiobook reviews on my blog www.eargasmsaudiobookreviews.com ***
Profile Image for Kim Pellicano bowman.
1 review
July 16, 2013
Having been a cast member of a Rocky Horror cast, I was really excited to read this. I found, however, that I did not enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I was actually kind of frustrated reading it. It was a good description of HIS particular Rocky experiences, but I found that many times he would compare his cast to the entire Rocky experience - but he had only seen one other cast perform, and was only a cast member for about a year. One thing he mentioned was that it is impossible for the major characters to change into "floor show" costumes and make it back on stage in time for the floor show scene, and therefore special Floor Show Janet, Brad, etc. must be cast. This is untrue; our cast NEVER had a separate cast for floor show, and had no problem changing into costumes for the scene (thanks to a rockin' costume crew!). I played Janet roughly during the same time period for about 5 or 6 years. this was a good book about his particular Rocky experience, but not a great description of the Rocky experience in general. It was interesting to read of his experience, but really had little in common with my cast's experiences. I just feel that he generalized his experiences and tried to generalize them to portray the entire Rocky experience, but that is pretty impossible, as we all join casts for different reasons and get different things out of it.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
201 reviews6 followers
April 30, 2021
I’ve been listening to this on Audible during car journeys, for one thing it’s a way of getting reviews done at times when I can’t necessarily sit down with a book, but the other thing is it’s just nice sometimes to listen to something other than music.

I really enjoyed listening to this one, it’s a really interesting and nicely put together memoir of meeting friends and the things they got up to as the cast of the on stage Rocky Horror Picture Show. Now, the only thing I would heavily disagree with that was said in this book is that early on it is said that while the film played it’s part, you have to watch this on stage. I can only assume that the stage show has lost something since the days of Kevin being in it, or it’s because I’m in England and we don’t do things quite so well or enthusiastically as America does, but I actually wanted to see this on stage for a really, really long time and unfortunately when I did see it on stage whilst I did enjoy it it wasn’t as good as the film.

Don’t get me wrong, the actors did a fabulous job of their parts, but, unfortunately, if I am going to see something like that, I want it done how I saw it done on film, some things will always change up a bit when it’s a stage show but the absolute killer of anything for me is replacing the original stuff with modern politics. That’s a massive turn off for me, I lose interest immediately. I don’t want it when I’m relaxing, I don’t want something I already know I like and know some of the lines of to suddenly include today’s politics – no thanks.

This book is a fun listen, and whilst I’m sure it would be fun to read it I think it’s more fun to listen. There’s something in the way that Theis narrates that is just fantastic. The tone of his voice, the way he delivers certain situations would just not be as funny as if it wasn’t he himself there telling you about it. Some of this book if you were actually reading it without that delivery might even be a case of “maybe you had to be there”, but because of the energy he brings to the narration it is just so much like being taken back to that time, being in the audience, being a fly on the wall, and that is exactly how this kind of book should make you feel. These kind books should leave you with a feeling of having known the person in some way.

It’s clear when you listen to this how much all of the people involved loved the show, not just because they performed it every weekend but there’s a sense brought across that they didn’t just show up and do the show and forget all about it the rest of the time, these kids lived and breathed Rocky Horror. There’s a love for the art that you don’t always see in actors, film makers etc any more, and it’s what’s kind of missing from modern stuff if you ask me.

I would definitely recommend giving this one a go, it’s such a great opportunity to share in the antics of these people when they were young and it’s written and performed with the same love that comes across for the show itself.

The book is available in different formats, audio is obviously the more expensive one, so pick your format and read it either way, but if you want my recommendation I would say the audio book is well worth it.
1 review
December 17, 2024
This is my first (and probably only) review on goodreads because this book changed me just as much, if not more, than Rocky Horror itself. I'll save spoilers for the end of this review, because here are a few things you should know about this book before going in.
1, if you want a book ABOUT Rocky Horror, than this book is not for you. However, if you want a book about how Rocky Horror ACTUALLY AFFECTED PEOPLE, then read ahead.
2, it's a very lighthearted book... most of the time. The ending nearly made me cry because I had gotten so attached to everyone. If you don't want to feel like you actually lived in South Florida in the 1980's, this is not the book for you.
3, Kevin Theis may come off as a pretentious asshole at first as you listen to him talk about his early life, but he really isn't. He is actually a very charismatic voice and will quickly bring you into the Ultravision Theater as if you were actually there.
4, the marketing does not do this book justice. Sure, "a story of Sex, drugs, and Rocky Horror" could describe it, but it's more a coming of age book. Sure, it contains all those things, but it's more "A story of weird teenagers, the 80's, and Rocky Horror".
If you're not convinced by my glowing praise of this book, I'm not sure what else to tell you. I read it for free from my local library, and if I am so lucky to have the money, I will most certainly buy a copy for myself. This is a ten out of ten page turner, and I would absolutely read it again.
All that being said, however...

SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT ON!!

As someone who has a very similar friend group to the Wild and Untamed Things, it's wonderful to see these people staying together after all these years. I am currently in a very similar point in my life to Kevin, and seeing someone talk so openly about being a teenager, and be actually right about it? It's wonderful.
I read very few books unless it's about things I'm interested in, AKA biographies. I thought this was going to be about Rocky Horror, and being still very new to the community, I thought Donny was someone who worked on the movie. To my shock and horror, it wasn't. He wasn't. It was about one kid's experience being in a shadow cast. Yet, something, maybe it was the fact that we both went to high schools with less than 200 students, maybe it was that we both wanted to get out of the situation and location we had found ourselves in as teenagers, kept me on this book.
I want to thank Kevin, because this book genuinely moved me. Genuinely, I was sitting in a class as I listened to the last few minutes, and I had to stop myself for genuinely bursting out sobbing as I heard him say "We want lips" one more time. I would give anything to read this book for the first time again without the resentment that it wasn't "about" Rocky Horror.
231 reviews3 followers
May 28, 2017
Hilarious. Theis and Snow have a sarcastic, funny way with words. Their tale of teenage camaraderie, lurid (well, kinda lurid) nights, drugs, drink and sex all revolving around the one film in history (The Rocky Horror Picture Show) that includes a live show at midnight on Fridays and Saturdays in many parts of the country is fast paced entertainment. For all the supposed losers who found a club that where they could rid themselves of their fears, this is the story for you. I highly recommend listening to the audio version. Theis tells the the tale with verve, excitement and wonder. He's an excellent narrator.
Profile Image for Deedra.
3,932 reviews39 followers
July 25, 2018
Audible:This is a very energetic recollection of one teenager and his intro to Rocky Horror.I found it fun and interesting THOUGH I am someone who has never been to a show.I've only seen the movie.It plays here on Hallowe'en in a local theater with the full effects.Good luck getting in.Anyway...give it a listen.Kevin Theis did a great job narrating.I was given this book by the narrator,author or publisher free for an honest review.
1,416 reviews8 followers
June 28, 2023
The writing made it feel more like it was written by a 17 year old, as opposed to an adult recollecting his teenage years. Some poor writing aside, the story of the author's experiences as a Rocky Horror Picture Show cast member was fun and well-told, with all the wild stories you would imagine.
Profile Image for Troy Buffington.
67 reviews1 follower
October 25, 2018
The narrator having lived the story brings it to life. I want to go watch the rocky horror picture show after hearing the tales. I highly recommend this book.
Profile Image for Shelley.
68 reviews
November 14, 2025
Loved it! I felt like I was living the Rocky life while listening (1000% recommend the author narrated audiobook!) to this book. Messy, sexy and fucking awesome.
Profile Image for Jessica Capps.
155 reviews
November 23, 2019
Audiobook review

This book is a wild ride from start to finish, and I genuinely mean that.

I never once, in my 40 years of life thought to read a memoir about the cast of a production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I mean, RHPS is what it is (or what I THOUHT it was). I went to a screening on my college campus and thought it was fun but didn’t really get it. I’ve seen the movie, it’s a cult-classic, everyone knows the songs. BUT, I never knew there was this whole world of experience that I have yet to embark upon. Yes, it is now on my bucket list to attend a RHPS live viewing at a venue that really does it all, thanks to this book right here.

Kevin Theis is the co-author (along with Ron Fox) and narrator of the audiobook. I love when authors narrate their own books and do it well. We get to hear exactly how it was written and how it’s suppose to be presented. Kevin reads this book in a way that you feel like he’s stated to make a presentation about RHPS, and by the end, you feel like you’ve been stuck in someone’s living room for days as this crazy man tells you about this cultish group he’s a part of, like it’s some normal conversation.

Kevin starts us off when he’s in high school when hens looking for something to do with his life. He attends a tiny private school and needs to branch out, meet new guys and gals. How does he do that? He happens upon a RHPS looking for actors. From the time he agrees to come back the following week help with the performance, the action never stops. If it’s not cast parties, it’s cast fights. If it’s not alcohol, it’s drugs. It’s a trashed house that everyone crashes at, brings girls and guys back to have sex with at. It’s learning a whole new way to smoke pot!

I laughed out loud so many times while listening that I would have to stop and replay the last 15-30 seconds because I missed to much laughing. It’s not all fun and games. There are serious tragedies and heartfelt moments. I may have even cried at one point. I haven’t put my google stalking fingers to good use yet, but I hope there’s an image of the old crew out there somewhere as I’d love to put faces to names and antics.

This seriously was a great book. You don’t have to be a die-hard RHPS fan to enjoy it or even understand it. It’s just good writing, hilarious stories and wonderful reading. The RHPS “family” Theis/Fox describe is like one of those crazy families you see on tv and want to runaway from home to be a part of.

There’s a review on here that mentions that this book should be turned into arc series. I 100% agree. I don’t know how you’d do it, but these guys seem crazy enough to get it done. I’d watch it.

I want more books like this. This is a great memoir. I’ll probably even listen to it again.

I was given a copy of this audiobook from the author, narrator, or publisher in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.
Profile Image for Hal Brodsky.
827 reviews11 followers
December 3, 2012
I grew up in South Florida and attended The Rocky Horror Show a few years before the events in this book took place. People dressed up and threw toast and rice and yelled at the screen, but I never saw live actors pantomiming the action in front of a movie screen the way it is described in this book (I attended screenings in Ft Lauderdale, Miami, Jacksonville, Gainesville, and in Utah.)

That being said, this was an interesting read. The two authors have combined their experiences as High School Teenagers acting in said Midnight Showings of RHPS into a singe character, Jack/Kevin, who attends the RHPS one midnight and decides to become a cast member. This is his story, and it is a story of sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll with the backdrop being a 1980's South Florida Teenage Wasteland. The book is full of clever (though often sophomoric) one-liners and is written in a first person "And then one day this happened" style. Key to the story is the band of Teenage Mutant Ninja Wasted Cross-Dressing Hyper-sexed Stoners Jack/Kevin falls in with and their close bonds with one another.

This book is not for everyone, but if you are interested in Rocky Horror or in teenage life in South Florida during the early 80's, you will find this a unique read.



Profile Image for Steven.
1 review
August 3, 2012
I know the author so it turned into an opportunity to learn about him and his take on the world and I enjoyed that. I well recall cruising South Street Philadelphia many a weekend mid-night and catching the Rocky Horror crew out in force before & after the show at TLA. Excited folks, mostly all younger than me, a little bit mystifying having a whole lot of fun.
Profile Image for Elita.
4 reviews
January 10, 2024
Love, love, love this book. What a great story! If you've never seen Rocky Horror, you should do it before reading this, but the book was wonderful.
Profile Image for Scott.
190 reviews13 followers
April 7, 2017
I'll confess -- I was never a big Rocky Horror fan. I saw it once with friends in High School and sort of left it at that. So while this memoir looked interesting, I also wasn't sure I'd make it all the way through it.

Luckily, you don't need to have been immersed in Rocky Horror to enjoy this story. It's a great time warp back to the 1980s and being a teenager, and the thrill of finally finding a group of friends you fit in with. It captures the same sort of feeling that the show Freeks and Geeks did, and frankly I wish one of the cable networks would turn this into series, because it's got great characters and a great story, and, you know, sex and drugs and songs.

Theis does a great job both in writing the book and in his audio narration, which is easy to listen to and well-paced. There were many instances earlier in the book in which some of the events are narrated where I really wished the whole scene with dialogue was fleshed out, but that's only because the characters were so interesting. As the story went on more of the actual dialogue and scenes get rendered, and it's just great.

So if you're looking for a nice change of pace, give this one a listen.
Profile Image for Chris.
18 reviews14 followers
May 3, 2017
I had no idea what to expect when I start reading this book. I was aware of The Rocky Horror Picture Show - had attended a screening once in college - but beyond a fondness for some of the songs I had no particular attachment to it. As it turns out, it's not the movie with which people get obsessed. It's the lifestyle. Kevin Theis and co-author Ron Fox weave a really lovely story about camaraderie and family amongst a disparate group of misfits who find a common bond through performing live along with this strange cult film every weekend in early '80s southern Florida. Like the authors' experience, this book is not about the movie - you don't need to know the movie to appreciate the experience.

I finished listening to the audiobook (narrated by Kevin Theis) yesterday, and today I'm cleaning my condo and listening to the movie soundtrack in the background. It's kinda great.

(Full disclosure: I'm friends with Kevin Theis - although I didn't meet him until about 25 years after the events of his book.)
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