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If You Ask Me: The Collected Columns of America's Most Beloved and Irresponsible Critic
Hi. I'm Libby Gelman-Waxner, and I'm an assistant buyer in juniors' activewear. While I find my work both rewarding and creative, especially with the new knits coming in, I want more. And so I decided to become a film critic....
Move over, Siskel & Ebert. Watch out, Leonard Maltin. And just forget saving that aisle seat, Mr. Medved. Libby Gelman-Waxner has arrived -- in the critic's circle, that is -- and the silver screen may never be the same again. Witty, wicked, and scathingly honest -- If You Ask Me is a hilarious collection of her columns from Premiere magazine. Just listen to Libby on some recent films and film stars:
Prince of Tides -- "Barbra's only spontaneous moment in Prince of Tides comes when Nick tosses her a football and she screams 'My nails!'"
Diane Keaton -- "She's a pioneer; she takes that thing that hangs in the back of your closet, the thing that was too marked down to pass up, Diane takes that thing and she doesn't call Goodwill, she wraps it around her head a few times, pins on a Smurf brooch, and wins an Oscar...."
The Last of the Mohicans -- "Daniel Day-Lewis makes American actors look like giggly junior high school boys playing Nintendo during the prom; at one point, Madeleine asks Daniel what he is looking at, and he says, I'm looking at you, Miss, and let me tell you, the usher had to conk me with his flashlight to make me stop whimpering...."
Daryl Hannah -- "All men in America, my Josh included, they all want a date with Daryl Hannah. A girl like Daryl -- we're not talking about a Ph.D. in comparative literature; I think we're talking about hair in the eyes and not much in the way of lingerie...."
Move over, Siskel & Ebert. Watch out, Leonard Maltin. And just forget saving that aisle seat, Mr. Medved. Libby Gelman-Waxner has arrived -- in the critic's circle, that is -- and the silver screen may never be the same again. Witty, wicked, and scathingly honest -- If You Ask Me is a hilarious collection of her columns from Premiere magazine. Just listen to Libby on some recent films and film stars:
Prince of Tides -- "Barbra's only spontaneous moment in Prince of Tides comes when Nick tosses her a football and she screams 'My nails!'"
Diane Keaton -- "She's a pioneer; she takes that thing that hangs in the back of your closet, the thing that was too marked down to pass up, Diane takes that thing and she doesn't call Goodwill, she wraps it around her head a few times, pins on a Smurf brooch, and wins an Oscar...."
The Last of the Mohicans -- "Daniel Day-Lewis makes American actors look like giggly junior high school boys playing Nintendo during the prom; at one point, Madeleine asks Daniel what he is looking at, and he says, I'm looking at you, Miss, and let me tell you, the usher had to conk me with his flashlight to make me stop whimpering...."
Daryl Hannah -- "All men in America, my Josh included, they all want a date with Daryl Hannah. A girl like Daryl -- we're not talking about a Ph.D. in comparative literature; I think we're talking about hair in the eyes and not much in the way of lingerie...."
252 pages, Paperback
First published October 12, 1994
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
September 17, 2013
Oh, how I love Libby. Libby, who taught me to see the aging Michael Douglas as "My Aunt Doris on a motorcycle." Libby, who upholds the importance of clean theater carpets and a nice kugel. Libby, who reminds us that if a top is a classic, you should get it in every color.
My view of American Hollywood movies was skewed permanently yenta years ago, when these reviews first came out in Premier magazine. Now when I see Leo DiCaprio stride manfully onscreen I just think: Leo, enough already, the ladies love you, put those eyebrows away before you hurt yourself. And when Jennifer Lawrence tells the press how dorky and awkward she is, I think: Jennifer honey, I love everything you're in but if you don't stop that I'll be forced to mail you my high school marching band videos, 1982-1993 inclusive, and not for nothing do we call them The Blunder Years. You don't know from dorky.
Libby, Libby, Libby. I might wish that you were still out there, advising us to always carry a spare pair of dress shields in our purses for those alternating tense-and-sorrowful Ryan Gosling mood pieces, or wondering out loud if Jack Nicholson is such a great cultural icon why does he walk around looking like your great uncle Schlomo, with the crazy hair and the restraining orders in three counties. I might wish you were still publishing reviews that make me laugh and read passages out loud to my longsuffering wife, when she's asleep or pretending to be asleep, with all the pillows piled over her head. I might even wish that the next time I'm in New York, we could go to Zabar's and criticize the schmaltz herring, because it's always dry, and then talk about why Hollywood hates us so much, with the movies about robots turning into cars and girls in cutoff shorts that only their ob-gyns can verify.
But I won't--or I will, and I'll pretend not to. I'll pretend I'm mature about this not-writing-reviews-anymore business, because you'd want me to keep a stiff upper lip and carry a packet of brand-name Kleenex in my purse, because you can never have too many tissues on hand where Libby and movies are concerned. Libby, movies, double-ply Kleenex tissue, and schmaltz herring--it's all you really need in life, if you ask me.
My view of American Hollywood movies was skewed permanently yenta years ago, when these reviews first came out in Premier magazine. Now when I see Leo DiCaprio stride manfully onscreen I just think: Leo, enough already, the ladies love you, put those eyebrows away before you hurt yourself. And when Jennifer Lawrence tells the press how dorky and awkward she is, I think: Jennifer honey, I love everything you're in but if you don't stop that I'll be forced to mail you my high school marching band videos, 1982-1993 inclusive, and not for nothing do we call them The Blunder Years. You don't know from dorky.
Libby, Libby, Libby. I might wish that you were still out there, advising us to always carry a spare pair of dress shields in our purses for those alternating tense-and-sorrowful Ryan Gosling mood pieces, or wondering out loud if Jack Nicholson is such a great cultural icon why does he walk around looking like your great uncle Schlomo, with the crazy hair and the restraining orders in three counties. I might wish you were still publishing reviews that make me laugh and read passages out loud to my longsuffering wife, when she's asleep or pretending to be asleep, with all the pillows piled over her head. I might even wish that the next time I'm in New York, we could go to Zabar's and criticize the schmaltz herring, because it's always dry, and then talk about why Hollywood hates us so much, with the movies about robots turning into cars and girls in cutoff shorts that only their ob-gyns can verify.
But I won't--or I will, and I'll pretend not to. I'll pretend I'm mature about this not-writing-reviews-anymore business, because you'd want me to keep a stiff upper lip and carry a packet of brand-name Kleenex in my purse, because you can never have too many tissues on hand where Libby and movies are concerned. Libby, movies, double-ply Kleenex tissue, and schmaltz herring--it's all you really need in life, if you ask me.
November 5, 2020
This collection of movie “reviews” is just as much a work of fiction as it is hilarious film criticism from a very charming assistant buyer of juniors sportswear (and sometimes her family and friends) who really enjoys going to the multiplex. She offers her very unique, fresh, Jewish and liberal perspective on the absurdity of Hollywood movies while connecting them to her world. “She” is actually the writer Paul Rudnick—clearly having so much fun writing under a pseudonym. It is a delightful time capsule of late 80s/early 90s pop culture.. if you ask me ;)
November 20, 2012
I was a loyal reader of "Libby"'s column in Premiere magazine when I was in college, and I was amused when she was resurrected in the pages of Entertainment Weekly last year. This volume of columns brought me back to the late 80s and early 90s and lots of great (and not-so-great) films that I saw with my college pals. I love snark!
March 1, 2017
Oh, how I miss Premiere magazine's Libby Gelman-Waxner (aka Paul Rudnick): "Barbra's only spontaneous moment in Prince of Tides comes when Nick tosses her a football and she screams 'My nails!'" while "Keven brings a very Laurel Canyon sensibility to the plains in Dances with Wolves...Mary McDonnell does her hair in a flattering shag look instead of too-severe tribal braids."
August 10, 2012
If you're a movie fan and can get your hands on a copy of this, don't hesitate! Like all of Paul Rudnick's writing, this book made me laugh so hard I had to put it down periodically to compose myself before continuing.
January 16, 2008
Based on the column written by screenwriter Paul Rudnick (Jeffrey, In & Out, Addams Family Values, etc.) for Premiere magazine, under the nom de plume Libby Gelman-Waxner. Definitely a product of its time (the mid-90s), and for me then, a blessed escape, if only momentarily, from grad work. I used to subscribe to Premiere, but its been years since I let it lapse in favor of decor and shelter and cooking mags. One's life does change, after all--priorities, people! I do recall this book being an amusing respite from the grind of college, though, and for that I gave it four stars.
Read
March 18, 2014This is a collection of columns Paul Rudnick wrote under the pseudonym “Libby Gelman-Waxner” that originally appeared in Premier Magazine. It is not a new book. It was published in 1994. On a recent trip I found a copy in Glad Day Bookshop in Toronto. I bought it thinking it might be a fun vacation read. It was.
The cover describes Libby as “America’s Most Beloved and Irresponsible Film Critic”. The conceit is Libby, a NYC Jewish matron who has a successful career as an assistant buyer in Juniors Activewear, has taken on the task writing film critique. The reviews become stream-of-consciousness riffs on whatever enters her mind; rarely having anything at all to do with the films.
The cover describes Libby as “America’s Most Beloved and Irresponsible Film Critic”. The conceit is Libby, a NYC Jewish matron who has a successful career as an assistant buyer in Juniors Activewear, has taken on the task writing film critique. The reviews become stream-of-consciousness riffs on whatever enters her mind; rarely having anything at all to do with the films.
March 17, 2012
Paul Rudnick as Libby Gelman-Waxner is one of the few writers who can make me laugh out loud. If you like movies and Jewish American Princesses of the NYC variety then Libby is for you. Haven't read it for years but I believe her review of Lambada: The Forbidden Dance discussed her passionate reaction that included donning a tropical-patterned headband, cleaning with ocean-scented carpet freshener and grabbing husband Josh (the orthodontist) by the love handles and going wild. That's how Libby rolls. And she's back! I believe I read Rudnick is doing a new Libby column with PopWatch online.
January 27, 2013
LOVE LOVE LOVE Libby Gelman-Waxner (Paul Rudnick's one-track-mind alter ego). I used to read her columns decades ago when she still wrote for Premiere movie magazine (those are the texts collected in this book). Now that she's back in EW, I have a friend in the US subscribe and send me the mags to the UK so I can keep up with what's hot and what's not in Libby's world.
Libby and Joe Queenan opened my eyes with regards to movies back in the day :)
Libby and Joe Queenan opened my eyes with regards to movies back in the day :)
February 6, 2008
every time i loan this book out to people, they call up and read passages aloud to me. usually they have to stop laughing long enough to get started, but it's always fun to hear libby's outrageously funny and shallow criticisms.
July 26, 2009
I wonder if Libby's still
reviewing movies....I'd like
to read her most recent reviews.
Fun, fun, fun.
reviewing movies....I'd like
to read her most recent reviews.
Fun, fun, fun.
July 2, 2012
Laugh out loud funny. Paul Ruddick as Libby!
August 20, 2012
A funny compilation of Libby's best moments. You'll see movies differently once you've seen them through Libby' s eyes.
July 29, 2013
Really funny movie reviews.
January 29, 2018
Never read Premiere Magazine so was totally unfamiliar with these `movie reviews' when I came across this book in the library, but it was laugh out loud funny & a delightful commentary on the times
February 20, 2020
I used to read these when I subscribed to Premiere, so I when I saw this in a thrift store for a buck I bought it.
I know these are written by Paul Rudnick (spoiler alert after 30 years?) but I loved them in my 20s. The problem with revisiting them is how dated they are. But one thing I did learn: Never say it was so much better back in the day. It might be easy to have 90s' cinema nostalgia, but when you consider some of the dreck that was trotted out in the world of the movies, you slow your roll.
I know these are written by Paul Rudnick (spoiler alert after 30 years?) but I loved them in my 20s. The problem with revisiting them is how dated they are. But one thing I did learn: Never say it was so much better back in the day. It might be easy to have 90s' cinema nostalgia, but when you consider some of the dreck that was trotted out in the world of the movies, you slow your roll.
November 18, 2020
DNF at page 150. The humor fell flat for me. A fictional character that reviews movies and is married with two kids. The topics of the time in the mid 1990's do not hold up in 2020. Woody Allen, Trump, etc.. jokes were awkward. I thought it would be some honest talk of movies I've seen but it's really a mockery of family and friend life. I really can't imagine anyone finding this amusing in the 90's let alone now.
January 8, 2020
It is wonderful to begin my year of reading with a book that made me laugh aloud. Thank you, Elaine!
February 17, 2020
I really enjoy the writer's style and columns, where multiple movies are commented on and compared freely.
January 1, 2023
Very funny!
July 14, 2014
Paul Rudnick is hilarious, perhaps especially so in this guise as Libby, reviewing movies. Brilliant. If you enjoy it, be sure to check out the work of Joe Bob Briggs
January 24, 2010
always looked forward to these irreverent reviews in premiere. paul rudnick, writing as the inimitable libby gelman-waxner, never fails to amuse. still a laugh out loud read after all these years.
August 9, 2011
I heart Paul Rudnick. Seriously, I've never read funnier, more insightful movie reviews. Really!
September 15, 2011
Just some of the funniest film commentary this side of the Bad Movies We Love duo.
February 6, 2012
This was just ok. I probably would have liked it more if I was older and could remember the things she talks about.
August 24, 2016
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny.
Want to read
January 24, 2011A 2010 Christmas gift from Vivencio Atutubo III.
November 4, 2018
Divertissant! Très amusant!
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews