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You Get What You Pay For: Essays
The award-winning author of Magical Negro traces the trauma and beauty of existing as a Black woman back through American history, from the foundational trauma of the slave trade all the way up to Serena Williams and the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina
Dubbed a voice of her generation, poet and writer Morgan Parker has spent much of her adulthood in therapy, trying to square the resonance of her writing with the alienation she feels in nearly every aspect of life, from her lifelong singleness to her battle with depression. She traces this loneliness to an inability to feel truly safe with others and a historic hyper-awareness stemming from the effects of slavery.
In this collection of essays as intimate as being in the room with Morgan and her therapist, Morgan examines America's cultural history and relationship to Black Americans through the ages, through such topics as the ubiquity of a beauty culture that excludes Black women, the implications of Bill Cosby's fall from grace in a culture predicated on acceptance through respectability, and the pitfalls of visibility as seen through the mischaracterizations of Serena Williams as alternately iconic and too ambitious.
With piercing wit and incisive observations, You Get What You Pay For is ultimately a portal into a deeper examination of racial consciousness and its effects on mental well-being in America today. Weaving unflinching criticism with intimate anecdotes, this devastating memoir-in-essays paints a portrait of one Black woman's psyche—and of the writer's search to both tell the truth and deconstruct it.
Dubbed a voice of her generation, poet and writer Morgan Parker has spent much of her adulthood in therapy, trying to square the resonance of her writing with the alienation she feels in nearly every aspect of life, from her lifelong singleness to her battle with depression. She traces this loneliness to an inability to feel truly safe with others and a historic hyper-awareness stemming from the effects of slavery.
In this collection of essays as intimate as being in the room with Morgan and her therapist, Morgan examines America's cultural history and relationship to Black Americans through the ages, through such topics as the ubiquity of a beauty culture that excludes Black women, the implications of Bill Cosby's fall from grace in a culture predicated on acceptance through respectability, and the pitfalls of visibility as seen through the mischaracterizations of Serena Williams as alternately iconic and too ambitious.
With piercing wit and incisive observations, You Get What You Pay For is ultimately a portal into a deeper examination of racial consciousness and its effects on mental well-being in America today. Weaving unflinching criticism with intimate anecdotes, this devastating memoir-in-essays paints a portrait of one Black woman's psyche—and of the writer's search to both tell the truth and deconstruct it.
214 pages, Hardcover
First published March 12, 2024
61 people are currently reading
12114 people want to read
About the author
Morgan Parker
15 books665 followersMorgan Parker is the author of There Are More Beautiful Things Than Beyoncé, a Goodreads Choice Award semi-finalist, and Other People's Comfort Keeps Me Up at Night, selected by Eileen Myles for the 2013 Gatewood Prize. Her poetry and essays have appeared in Tin House, The Paris Review, The BreakBeat Poets: New American Poetry in the Age of Hip-Hop, Best American Poetry 2016, The New York Times, and The Nation. She is the recipient of a 2017 National Endowment for the Arts Literature Fellowship, winner of a 2016 Pushcart Prize, and a Cave Canem graduate fellow. She is a Sagittarius.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 127 reviews
July 10, 2024
3.5 stars
Overall enjoyed this essay collection and thought Morgan Parker did a nice job of intertwining the personal with the sociopolitical. Topics range from Black representation in media to romantic loneliness as a Black woman in her 30s to people who defend Bill Cosby. I found Parker’s writing astute and perceptive and I appreciated the honest, non-cliched way she emphasized therapy and mental health in this collection. There were times where I wished she went a bit deeper or got more specific, like when she referenced her “uncomfortably abundant number of white friends” or when she wrote about romantic loneliness without interrogating amatonormativity or romantic monogamy culture in general. Still, a thoughtful essay collection from a writer confronting misogynoir and imagining a more just world than the one we live in now.
Overall enjoyed this essay collection and thought Morgan Parker did a nice job of intertwining the personal with the sociopolitical. Topics range from Black representation in media to romantic loneliness as a Black woman in her 30s to people who defend Bill Cosby. I found Parker’s writing astute and perceptive and I appreciated the honest, non-cliched way she emphasized therapy and mental health in this collection. There were times where I wished she went a bit deeper or got more specific, like when she referenced her “uncomfortably abundant number of white friends” or when she wrote about romantic loneliness without interrogating amatonormativity or romantic monogamy culture in general. Still, a thoughtful essay collection from a writer confronting misogynoir and imagining a more just world than the one we live in now.
April 22, 2024
I was really impressed by this collection. I appreciate Parker's humor and her ability to see the world in ways that I can't always articulate. Some of the essays don't feel like they fit in the collection per se, but most of the essays are strong on their own merits. I would've liked more of her pop cultural criticisms because she has such a sharp perspective on Black culture. Overall a really strong book.
I reread this book again on audio and still really liked it. Different essays popped out at me, but overall I felt the same as I did on the first read.
I reread this book again on audio and still really liked it. Different essays popped out at me, but overall I felt the same as I did on the first read.
March 29, 2024
Amid the calumnious pushback in the United States against so-called “critical race theory” (it’s not) in schools remains the single truth: you don’t learn the true history of the US in school. The same goes for Canada, where we learn about the enslavement of African people in the US, but we don’t learn about slavery in Canada or our own history of anti-Black racism following abolition. So I do my best to read and learn, especially from Black women. In You Get What You Pay For, Morgan Parker engages with the legacy of slavery and nearly four centuries of anti-Blackness on this continent. Her tone is brutally forthright, holding nothing back as she looks at how the shape of American society has influenced her life. In an era that has too long billed itself post-racial or colour-blind, Parker insists that, yes, you need to see her race in order to see the arc of her life so far. I received an eARC from NetGalley and Penguin Random House in exchange for a review.
This is an essay collection loosely masquerading as memoir and following a rough chronology of Parker’s life. She returns to a few regular motifs throughout: her next therapist, the slave ship as a metaphor for living under white supremacy in the US, the impossibility of survival for so many Black people as a result of police brutality. Many of the essays engage with seminal moments of the American zeitgeist in the past couple decades: the ascension of Serena and Venus Williams, Ye’s infamous remark about George W. Bush in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, the trial of Bill Cosby.
Parker acknowledges the complexity of her subject while writing with an appealing simplicity. Some of her discussions of her therapists reminded me of It’s Always Been Ours , by Jessica Wilson. Both books were illuminating. We white women often fail to consider race as a factor in our professional interactions, whether it’s therapy, treatment for eating disorders, or in my case, teaching. Which is not to say that race is the only factor in finding a good fit with a professional. But as Parker makes clear in this book, it wasn’t until she found a Black female therapist that she was finally able to connect in a way that was authentic and useful for her. Her white therapists prior lacked the experience and ancestors required to see all of Parker.
That’s what we are talking about here. Seeing. Seeing the weight of intergenerational trauma. Seeing resilience not as a buzzword (“oh, you are so strong”) but as a rebellion against being put into a box. Seeing and understanding that racism isn’t simply, “Oh, people are mean to you because of your skin colour?”—racism is a kaleoidoscope of Rubik’s cubes of dominoes that fall every single day. It’s a behemoth, visible and invisible at the same time.
You Get What You Pay For is dolorous at times. It lacks the rah-rah inspirational tone that we have come to demand from racialized writers. This is my first time reading anything by Parker that I can recall, so my point of comparison is to Roxane Gay, who is likewise unapologetic in her take-it-or-leave-it attitude towards her opinions. This is something we unthinkingly praise in white writers but often see as too adversarial or cynical in Black writers. While Parker has obviously met with a fair amount of success, she opens up and discusses how that hasn’t always translated into better mental health. This reminds me of Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey’s Harvard Business Review article, “Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome”. Before I read that article, I probably would have labelled Parker’s description of her experiences as imposter syndrome. Now I know better. Now I know that the driving force is systemic, misogynoir.
At the same time, I think it’s important to emphasize that this collection is not hopeless. It’s just honest. You won’t exit it with a warm, fuzzy feeling, and you aren’t meant to. Now, that might not be what you want on your reading schedule right now—and I don’t blame you; I won’t pretend that I revelled in reading this. At the same time, I did fly through it, for as bleak as this book feels sometimes, Parker’s writing is also compelling.
Intergenerational trauma is no joke. White supremacy is alive and well in the US, as well as here in Canada. You Get What You Pay For brings a powerful voice to the conversation. Above all else, Parker insists that survival is not enough. She wants her life to be hers, as she should. Freedom on paper is not freedom in reality. Not yet.
Originally posted on Kara.Reviews.
This is an essay collection loosely masquerading as memoir and following a rough chronology of Parker’s life. She returns to a few regular motifs throughout: her next therapist, the slave ship as a metaphor for living under white supremacy in the US, the impossibility of survival for so many Black people as a result of police brutality. Many of the essays engage with seminal moments of the American zeitgeist in the past couple decades: the ascension of Serena and Venus Williams, Ye’s infamous remark about George W. Bush in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, the trial of Bill Cosby.
Parker acknowledges the complexity of her subject while writing with an appealing simplicity. Some of her discussions of her therapists reminded me of It’s Always Been Ours , by Jessica Wilson. Both books were illuminating. We white women often fail to consider race as a factor in our professional interactions, whether it’s therapy, treatment for eating disorders, or in my case, teaching. Which is not to say that race is the only factor in finding a good fit with a professional. But as Parker makes clear in this book, it wasn’t until she found a Black female therapist that she was finally able to connect in a way that was authentic and useful for her. Her white therapists prior lacked the experience and ancestors required to see all of Parker.
That’s what we are talking about here. Seeing. Seeing the weight of intergenerational trauma. Seeing resilience not as a buzzword (“oh, you are so strong”) but as a rebellion against being put into a box. Seeing and understanding that racism isn’t simply, “Oh, people are mean to you because of your skin colour?”—racism is a kaleoidoscope of Rubik’s cubes of dominoes that fall every single day. It’s a behemoth, visible and invisible at the same time.
You Get What You Pay For is dolorous at times. It lacks the rah-rah inspirational tone that we have come to demand from racialized writers. This is my first time reading anything by Parker that I can recall, so my point of comparison is to Roxane Gay, who is likewise unapologetic in her take-it-or-leave-it attitude towards her opinions. This is something we unthinkingly praise in white writers but often see as too adversarial or cynical in Black writers. While Parker has obviously met with a fair amount of success, she opens up and discusses how that hasn’t always translated into better mental health. This reminds me of Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey’s Harvard Business Review article, “Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome”. Before I read that article, I probably would have labelled Parker’s description of her experiences as imposter syndrome. Now I know better. Now I know that the driving force is systemic, misogynoir.
At the same time, I think it’s important to emphasize that this collection is not hopeless. It’s just honest. You won’t exit it with a warm, fuzzy feeling, and you aren’t meant to. Now, that might not be what you want on your reading schedule right now—and I don’t blame you; I won’t pretend that I revelled in reading this. At the same time, I did fly through it, for as bleak as this book feels sometimes, Parker’s writing is also compelling.
Intergenerational trauma is no joke. White supremacy is alive and well in the US, as well as here in Canada. You Get What You Pay For brings a powerful voice to the conversation. Above all else, Parker insists that survival is not enough. She wants her life to be hers, as she should. Freedom on paper is not freedom in reality. Not yet.
Originally posted on Kara.Reviews.
April 29, 2024
FUCK YESSSS
Okay, actual review:
A collection of essays from a favourite poet of mine, oh I knew it was gonna be fire. I also felt very tender about Morgan Parker's YA Novel (Who Put this Song On?) and the care guide she included in the back of it, so I went into this primed to be engaged by how she writes about mental illness.
This collection is part memoir, and a reflection on the intersection of mental illness, white supremacy, and the legacy of slavery. I always adore writing that examines depression (etc) as a "public feeling" (Cvetkovich, 2012), that is: mental illness as a product of environmental factors and systems of oppression, mental illness as more than an individual incidence of neurochemical imbalance. As a genius poet, Parker brilliantly chews away at the recurring theme of the slave ship (as symbol and literal reality) and the currency of Black people. A perfect balance of personal reflection, cultural observation and historical analysis.
Context for the fire quote I'm about to copy down: A white person is jealous of a Black gay poet's success, implying this is somehow an advantage and also that he would do even better if he had such 'source material'. (GARBAGE). In addition to the quote below, Morgan Parker has this to say about that: "You can't take another person's powers, even if you take their body. This poetry we make from our own ashes and myths is an art of survival. And glory, too." (p.211)
p.209/210, 'Cheaper than Therapy':
"I will not be grateful for my trauma. I will not believe my art depends on my trauma. I will not believe my art is suffering. I will not believe suffering is my personality. I will not be grateful for the guts of my material. I do not want pity. I will not call my trauma a gift, a leg up, or a consolation. I will not be fooled into using language of exploitation. I am not selling myself to you. I will not thank my oppressor. I do not need the pain of others to make art. I do not need to be hunted to create. I don't need another child to die to have something to say. I don't need this bullshit to untangle. I'm a fucking genius."
Okay, actual review:
A collection of essays from a favourite poet of mine, oh I knew it was gonna be fire. I also felt very tender about Morgan Parker's YA Novel (Who Put this Song On?) and the care guide she included in the back of it, so I went into this primed to be engaged by how she writes about mental illness.
This collection is part memoir, and a reflection on the intersection of mental illness, white supremacy, and the legacy of slavery. I always adore writing that examines depression (etc) as a "public feeling" (Cvetkovich, 2012), that is: mental illness as a product of environmental factors and systems of oppression, mental illness as more than an individual incidence of neurochemical imbalance. As a genius poet, Parker brilliantly chews away at the recurring theme of the slave ship (as symbol and literal reality) and the currency of Black people. A perfect balance of personal reflection, cultural observation and historical analysis.
Context for the fire quote I'm about to copy down: A white person is jealous of a Black gay poet's success, implying this is somehow an advantage and also that he would do even better if he had such 'source material'. (GARBAGE). In addition to the quote below, Morgan Parker has this to say about that: "You can't take another person's powers, even if you take their body. This poetry we make from our own ashes and myths is an art of survival. And glory, too." (p.211)
p.209/210, 'Cheaper than Therapy':
"I will not be grateful for my trauma. I will not believe my art depends on my trauma. I will not believe my art is suffering. I will not believe suffering is my personality. I will not be grateful for the guts of my material. I do not want pity. I will not call my trauma a gift, a leg up, or a consolation. I will not be fooled into using language of exploitation. I am not selling myself to you. I will not thank my oppressor. I do not need the pain of others to make art. I do not need to be hunted to create. I don't need another child to die to have something to say. I don't need this bullshit to untangle. I'm a fucking genius."
May 5, 2024
DNFed at 47 percent
listless and self-absorbed, you get what you pay for suffers from an authorial voice that's too pre-occupied with pondering Big Sociocultural Questions instead of actually dissecting any of its ideas or arguments.
“My burgeoning poet’s brain is awestruck by the crisp sound of ball meeting racket, the liberal use of the word love, the way the players’ bodies move through the air like comet tails. This is elegance, discipline, precision. I see myself. Take that, I think.”
there is an attempt at merging the literary and critical here, but parker doesn't possess the inquisitive, vivid prose of the likes of natasha trethewey, or the punchy zeal of roxane gay to make any of it work. once again want to point out how much self-awareness this book lacks. on dropping her last white therapist, parker writes:
“And anyway, I was paying her. This lady was one of my most expensive therapists—I was just out of financially reckless graduate school and working at a nonprofit then, so I’m sure many sessions were covered by money transfers from my parents—which was one of the reasons I broke it off; especially considering she was so annoying, and because I’d thought I should’ve been paid for explaining Ferguson to her. White women had started becoming insufferable to me.”
where, halfway through this collection, has parker unpacked (or even acknowledged) how her class has benefitted her? she spends a good deal talking about her time at catholic school, yet somehow the middle class reality that would have allowed for all her years of private education aren't brought up at all??
to sum it all up: if you find your reader thinking "who asked?" when they're reading your memoir-slash-op-eds-in-essay-format, you probably need a lot of editing moving forward.
listless and self-absorbed, you get what you pay for suffers from an authorial voice that's too pre-occupied with pondering Big Sociocultural Questions instead of actually dissecting any of its ideas or arguments.
“My burgeoning poet’s brain is awestruck by the crisp sound of ball meeting racket, the liberal use of the word love, the way the players’ bodies move through the air like comet tails. This is elegance, discipline, precision. I see myself. Take that, I think.”
there is an attempt at merging the literary and critical here, but parker doesn't possess the inquisitive, vivid prose of the likes of natasha trethewey, or the punchy zeal of roxane gay to make any of it work. once again want to point out how much self-awareness this book lacks. on dropping her last white therapist, parker writes:
“And anyway, I was paying her. This lady was one of my most expensive therapists—I was just out of financially reckless graduate school and working at a nonprofit then, so I’m sure many sessions were covered by money transfers from my parents—which was one of the reasons I broke it off; especially considering she was so annoying, and because I’d thought I should’ve been paid for explaining Ferguson to her. White women had started becoming insufferable to me.”
where, halfway through this collection, has parker unpacked (or even acknowledged) how her class has benefitted her? she spends a good deal talking about her time at catholic school, yet somehow the middle class reality that would have allowed for all her years of private education aren't brought up at all??
to sum it all up: if you find your reader thinking "who asked?" when they're reading your memoir-slash-op-eds-in-essay-format, you probably need a lot of editing moving forward.
March 14, 2024
This is an entertaining and insightful collection of introspective essays from a young and talented author. She bares and shares her insecurities and vulnerabilities and how she shed self-hatred via therapy and counseling to navigate as a young black woman in a world that is not always welcoming to her gender or race. She talks about dating and loneliness and the challenges of being single and successful. She relates to the subtle and overt attacks on Black Womanhood even when excellence is on display via Serena Wiliams, Beyonce’ and all in between – including the regular girls. The author is considerably younger than I am, and I loved reading her views on events that rocked the culture and news cycles: when Kayne’s declaration regarding George Bush not caring about Black People, thoughts on Bill Cosby and other sexual predators, etc and how she analyzed the impact and relevance to her life, on pop culture, and society as a whole. I enjoyed reading her perspective and observations – very insightful and entertaining.
Thanks to NetGalley and One Word for the opportunity to review.
Thanks to NetGalley and One Word for the opportunity to review.
February 8, 2024
I've been waiting so long for this one to hit audio, and DAMN, it hit. I love Morgan Parker and everything she creates, so when I saw this baby pop up on PRH Audio, I was in for a treat. I am so thankful to PRH Audio, One World Books, and the ever-lovely Morgan Parker for granting me advanced listener access to this one before it hits shelves on March 12, 2024.
Parker is a linguist and her writing pours like hot honey, as she tells it how it is and you just can't get enough. I am so blessed to be able to read this and rant about it during Black History Month, for she touches on themes of race and discrimination in this skewed nation we live in. From mass shootings to instances of police brutality and more historic settings of segregation and hate, Parker covers it all in this upcoming collection of essays and prose titled, You Get What You Pay For -- which is really the moral of living in the states, in this economy, under this presidency, in this public health crises, for people of color, and I hate it. This should be required reading... I'm saying it now.
Parker is a linguist and her writing pours like hot honey, as she tells it how it is and you just can't get enough. I am so blessed to be able to read this and rant about it during Black History Month, for she touches on themes of race and discrimination in this skewed nation we live in. From mass shootings to instances of police brutality and more historic settings of segregation and hate, Parker covers it all in this upcoming collection of essays and prose titled, You Get What You Pay For -- which is really the moral of living in the states, in this economy, under this presidency, in this public health crises, for people of color, and I hate it. This should be required reading... I'm saying it now.
June 3, 2024
3.5 stars
I've followed Morgan Parker for a long time and she's always seemed like such a cool and lovely person, as well as someone who is incredibly observant and perceptive and self-aware. She's gone through a lot of therapy and it shows in her stark understandings of loneliness and how that loneliness is impacted by systemic oppression, i.e. moving through the world as a Black woman. It's actually refreshing to for once focus on loneliness as something that doesn't just happen to white American men, to see it through the perspective of someone already experiencing life in the margins. It seems important to understand what that looks like.
Some commentary doesn't say much that hasn't been said by countless other thinkers (hardships in the spotlight the Williams sisters faced; how to reconcile one's love of Bill Cosby). But Parker hits a great balance overall between personal narrative and socio-cultural writing. I also listened to this on audio (I know, look at me doing the audio thing!), and she does a great job narrating the text.
I've followed Morgan Parker for a long time and she's always seemed like such a cool and lovely person, as well as someone who is incredibly observant and perceptive and self-aware. She's gone through a lot of therapy and it shows in her stark understandings of loneliness and how that loneliness is impacted by systemic oppression, i.e. moving through the world as a Black woman. It's actually refreshing to for once focus on loneliness as something that doesn't just happen to white American men, to see it through the perspective of someone already experiencing life in the margins. It seems important to understand what that looks like.
Some commentary doesn't say much that hasn't been said by countless other thinkers (hardships in the spotlight the Williams sisters faced; how to reconcile one's love of Bill Cosby). But Parker hits a great balance overall between personal narrative and socio-cultural writing. I also listened to this on audio (I know, look at me doing the audio thing!), and she does a great job narrating the text.
July 8, 2024
Sunday, July 7, 2024 review: 4.75+ stars
Truly excellent. An impressive collection of essays, including the entries less than three pages in length (a feat!). Parker is cuttingly honest, intimate, and sincere. Parker is also funny, even if her quips are interwoven with lamentations and interrupt tragedy, even if "the words...feel like glass shards leaving [her] throat" (124). She effortlessly weaves theory, contemporary events, pop culture, and anecdotal evidence. Additionally, Parker's repeated motifs are both intellectually and emotionally effective, and are what differentiates You Get What You Pay For from other great essay collections as a collection that is simply incredible, standalone. My one critique: In the beginning, when the motifs (the primary motif being the slave ship) were not yet established, those essays were shakier, if only in comparison to the essays that followed and the motif that developed. However, this could be a product of threads feeling out of place before being interconnected to the whole, and my critique is in no way a diminishment of Parker's achievement. As a longtime fan of Parker's poetry, I cannot wait to read the next. 4.75+ stars (5 stars, really).
Truly excellent. An impressive collection of essays, including the entries less than three pages in length (a feat!). Parker is cuttingly honest, intimate, and sincere. Parker is also funny, even if her quips are interwoven with lamentations and interrupt tragedy, even if "the words...feel like glass shards leaving [her] throat" (124). She effortlessly weaves theory, contemporary events, pop culture, and anecdotal evidence. Additionally, Parker's repeated motifs are both intellectually and emotionally effective, and are what differentiates You Get What You Pay For from other great essay collections as a collection that is simply incredible, standalone. My one critique: In the beginning, when the motifs (the primary motif being the slave ship) were not yet established, those essays were shakier, if only in comparison to the essays that followed and the motif that developed. However, this could be a product of threads feeling out of place before being interconnected to the whole, and my critique is in no way a diminishment of Parker's achievement. As a longtime fan of Parker's poetry, I cannot wait to read the next. 4.75+ stars (5 stars, really).
January 9, 2025
Read this one in two bursts so if I’m honest the full recollection of the first half of the book is not quite there. But Parker writes very well and very clearly, and I think to present her pain, her very real connection to the trauma of being Black in America, and her loneliness in such an open way is very laudable. I will admit - admit!!! That sometimes I caught myself being like “hm she really is focusing on the slave ship/slave narrative a lot eh” which is very “bruh 😐” of me. Very “white person thinks Black person is maybe being a bit too sensitive” of me. So, I actually appreciate seeing and feeling that, not in a repentant and perfect white ally kinda way but more in a “yeah this is how Parker genuinely feels and connects with who she is in the world and it is good to witness that” kinda way. I think it’s good that she doesn’t soften her perspective for readers like me who would not fully “get” it. Why am I using so many quotation marks in this review… idk
Also, I read a whole book on loneliness recently and of all the essays I read I think they were trumped by Parker’s reflection on being 33 and single which really resonated with me the most, so I am appreciative of that connection her and I (sadly) share.
Anyways yeah I think this was interesting and well done!
Also, I read a whole book on loneliness recently and of all the essays I read I think they were trumped by Parker’s reflection on being 33 and single which really resonated with me the most, so I am appreciative of that connection her and I (sadly) share.
Anyways yeah I think this was interesting and well done!
April 4, 2024
Morgan is brilliant, always.
April 21, 2025
leerlo desde un lugar tan privilegiado y darte cuenta de cosas por las que jamás pasarás
March 9, 2026
DNF at 20%
May 21, 2024
I think I need to consciously seek out more essay collections written by poets because that seems like a real sweet spot for my literary tastes. Like I don't usually prefer to read just collections of poetry but I love it when someone has a poet's skill for language but they use it for prose.
This was sooo striking. At times challenging to read as she grapples with the intergenerational trauma inflicted by slavery in America but so worth the time invested. I will definitely be seeking out more of her writing.
This was sooo striking. At times challenging to read as she grapples with the intergenerational trauma inflicted by slavery in America but so worth the time invested. I will definitely be seeking out more of her writing.
December 20, 2023
It is such a shame that race has to be an issue.
Thank you to Goodreads for the copy.
Thank you to Goodreads for the copy.
March 11, 2026
oh boy, i feel real bad writing this review i see that it has a high rating. the problem for me was that goodreads made me read it, for the month it had different options, i think my fault was picking this one because by the synopsis i thought it was going to be informative and relatable since it touches on depression.
as i am not a black woman i do understand being the underdog of it all, i mean mexicans have basically gone through the same things, and right now the focus is a little bit on that because of ice. it is sad to see this type of situations. it is not fair and nobody deserves to feel this way.
——
“The more exciting things get, the more disappointed I am.”
“The violent privilege of not seeing the news, not feeling the news in your muscles, not realizing the blood is in your water, too”
“ An obnoxious couple nearby touches knees, their flirtatious laughter filling space like church perfume”
these are just examples of when i felt like it was just whining and self pitying, it is self destructive and depressing. anything is a bother and ancestors being slaves is an excuse to hate everything. i dont know, maybe im being a bit rough but i saw once this quote that said, black people are not the only group marginalized, im part of one, being a mexican in the usa it is horrible it is exactly what is described in this book, so with that i agree, but the thing is mexicans dont go around whining about it, we have been taught to persevere. there are thousands of people treated like slaves right now, places in which you buy your clothes, but they are not talked about.
——
“Sometimes I forget the whole story of Noah’s ark. We have a tendency to think about the animals, of course, and not why they were there: waiting out the end of the world. Dank, lonely nights in the ark’s belly, waiting. How it might have felt to be the first goods aboard, the first holy beings transported over waters in order to be used, worked, consumed, bred, beaten, mimicked, worn, sold, certified, showboated, and house-trained. How without them, no new world would be necessary.”
this was one of my favorite quotes of the book, because it touches on that slavery, imprisonment so well put, and the way we are still living in it.
——
“focused on living with pain, preservation instead of potential.”
i will say it again, i think this book was not my cup of tea, alsooo i love romance novels, call me stupid but i like cheesy stuff and this was a brutal read, depressing, anxiety inducing, irritable and at times dull. i get it is different for everyone, it is merely my opinion and how i perceived it, but i wanted it to end so bad, the emphasis of as she said, focused on living with pain, it was what i felt with this.
this book is necessary don’t get me wrong, i think it speaks on the author’s experience and that is important because it might resonate with lots of people, it lifts up its culture and background, and talks about severe trauma their community has gone through. also i picked it out because i wanted to see her point of view of things. i have seen the videos, the killing, it’s everywhere, and it’s bad but it’s good that it is getting attention. we live in a time where you are bombarded by this news, whether you like it or not, it’s anxiety inducing and it leads to depression, it all adds up. but how can we make a change if we are stuck in a cycle of self pity. maybe i dont get the black experience, but i get the minority experience and my ancestors were also slaves.
props to the author for being so vulnerable, as it was not for me, it is hard to be this open and well educated to write a whole book. i mean i could never, so i have to give the recognition that she is a great author and i hope this book finds its people, im sorry to be a bad review between all the good ones.
as i am not a black woman i do understand being the underdog of it all, i mean mexicans have basically gone through the same things, and right now the focus is a little bit on that because of ice. it is sad to see this type of situations. it is not fair and nobody deserves to feel this way.
——
“The more exciting things get, the more disappointed I am.”
“The violent privilege of not seeing the news, not feeling the news in your muscles, not realizing the blood is in your water, too”
“ An obnoxious couple nearby touches knees, their flirtatious laughter filling space like church perfume”
these are just examples of when i felt like it was just whining and self pitying, it is self destructive and depressing. anything is a bother and ancestors being slaves is an excuse to hate everything. i dont know, maybe im being a bit rough but i saw once this quote that said, black people are not the only group marginalized, im part of one, being a mexican in the usa it is horrible it is exactly what is described in this book, so with that i agree, but the thing is mexicans dont go around whining about it, we have been taught to persevere. there are thousands of people treated like slaves right now, places in which you buy your clothes, but they are not talked about.
——
“Sometimes I forget the whole story of Noah’s ark. We have a tendency to think about the animals, of course, and not why they were there: waiting out the end of the world. Dank, lonely nights in the ark’s belly, waiting. How it might have felt to be the first goods aboard, the first holy beings transported over waters in order to be used, worked, consumed, bred, beaten, mimicked, worn, sold, certified, showboated, and house-trained. How without them, no new world would be necessary.”
this was one of my favorite quotes of the book, because it touches on that slavery, imprisonment so well put, and the way we are still living in it.
——
“focused on living with pain, preservation instead of potential.”
i will say it again, i think this book was not my cup of tea, alsooo i love romance novels, call me stupid but i like cheesy stuff and this was a brutal read, depressing, anxiety inducing, irritable and at times dull. i get it is different for everyone, it is merely my opinion and how i perceived it, but i wanted it to end so bad, the emphasis of as she said, focused on living with pain, it was what i felt with this.
this book is necessary don’t get me wrong, i think it speaks on the author’s experience and that is important because it might resonate with lots of people, it lifts up its culture and background, and talks about severe trauma their community has gone through. also i picked it out because i wanted to see her point of view of things. i have seen the videos, the killing, it’s everywhere, and it’s bad but it’s good that it is getting attention. we live in a time where you are bombarded by this news, whether you like it or not, it’s anxiety inducing and it leads to depression, it all adds up. but how can we make a change if we are stuck in a cycle of self pity. maybe i dont get the black experience, but i get the minority experience and my ancestors were also slaves.
props to the author for being so vulnerable, as it was not for me, it is hard to be this open and well educated to write a whole book. i mean i could never, so i have to give the recognition that she is a great author and i hope this book finds its people, im sorry to be a bad review between all the good ones.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 2, 2024
if you care about black people — and i mean genuinely care about them and their freedom, read this book. if you have to question why race matters and is involved in things, this is NOT for you and you should unfollow me.
i am so wrecked by this book. i feel challenged and uncomfortable in a way that i feel today’s social climate calls for in terms of the advancement (or lack thereof) of my community. i also felt seen, understood, affirmed, educated and entertained — as i deserve. i’ll be thinking about this for a long time.
i discovered morgan parker by chance this weekend after going through similar authors of recent reads. i originally was intrigued by poetry she has published since it centers race relations and pop culture. but as an essay collection reader, i thought the reviews and descriptions spoke highly of this one—and rightfully so. i put it on my libby holds list but it came way earlier than expected so i dove right in over the course of two days.
parker does a phenomenal job at tying complex cultural issues (from the past, present AND future in a thought/provoking way) like slavery, mental illness, religion, police brutality — with entertainment observations (jay-z, bill cosby, kanye west, family sitcom characters/premises), historical occurrences (rodney king, 9/11) and her personal anecdotes (therapy, dating, education). she directly confronts readers in their face with how fearful many black-americans and african-americans are and probably should be re: existing in the country/in the world. she criticizes white people and the white people she grew up around as well, which has me questioning a lot of the white people around me and whether or not they see me as a black woman at risk — as the author spotlights herself and other black people to be in the world throughout the entire collection.
the writing is really good here, in my opinion. of course she is a poet first so a lot of the prose did read like poetry. her analogies and anecdotes connected with each other well. the content is powerful, honest and can be funny on occasion. i’d never seen CPT written about so flowery though i had to laugh and show my friends. LOL.
i think this collection is going to spark so many conversations i plan to have with my white partner because it has me thinking about a lot in my own life that has me shifting perspectives relating to how i show up, how i should show up, how i’m perceived and how i should be perceived.
i also just think everyone who wants black people to be completely free (and parker even breaks down what that means and what the world would look like if it were ever true) should read.
i don’t think everything in the book will hit and align for everyone. some essays may strike harder than others. i can understand critiques of essays feeling like diary entries or not fully complete thoughts/not enough research — and that’s fair — but that’s where chats between readers could be so juicy and transformative to fill in gaps with their own bias and experience. this selection would be great for a book club, higher education classroom, etc.
biggest bonus of it all? it was written all from the mind and the lens of a black woman. 🥰
trigger warnings: slavery, SA, police brutality, harmful language to the black community.
i am so wrecked by this book. i feel challenged and uncomfortable in a way that i feel today’s social climate calls for in terms of the advancement (or lack thereof) of my community. i also felt seen, understood, affirmed, educated and entertained — as i deserve. i’ll be thinking about this for a long time.
i discovered morgan parker by chance this weekend after going through similar authors of recent reads. i originally was intrigued by poetry she has published since it centers race relations and pop culture. but as an essay collection reader, i thought the reviews and descriptions spoke highly of this one—and rightfully so. i put it on my libby holds list but it came way earlier than expected so i dove right in over the course of two days.
parker does a phenomenal job at tying complex cultural issues (from the past, present AND future in a thought/provoking way) like slavery, mental illness, religion, police brutality — with entertainment observations (jay-z, bill cosby, kanye west, family sitcom characters/premises), historical occurrences (rodney king, 9/11) and her personal anecdotes (therapy, dating, education). she directly confronts readers in their face with how fearful many black-americans and african-americans are and probably should be re: existing in the country/in the world. she criticizes white people and the white people she grew up around as well, which has me questioning a lot of the white people around me and whether or not they see me as a black woman at risk — as the author spotlights herself and other black people to be in the world throughout the entire collection.
the writing is really good here, in my opinion. of course she is a poet first so a lot of the prose did read like poetry. her analogies and anecdotes connected with each other well. the content is powerful, honest and can be funny on occasion. i’d never seen CPT written about so flowery though i had to laugh and show my friends. LOL.
i think this collection is going to spark so many conversations i plan to have with my white partner because it has me thinking about a lot in my own life that has me shifting perspectives relating to how i show up, how i should show up, how i’m perceived and how i should be perceived.
i also just think everyone who wants black people to be completely free (and parker even breaks down what that means and what the world would look like if it were ever true) should read.
i don’t think everything in the book will hit and align for everyone. some essays may strike harder than others. i can understand critiques of essays feeling like diary entries or not fully complete thoughts/not enough research — and that’s fair — but that’s where chats between readers could be so juicy and transformative to fill in gaps with their own bias and experience. this selection would be great for a book club, higher education classroom, etc.
biggest bonus of it all? it was written all from the mind and the lens of a black woman. 🥰
trigger warnings: slavery, SA, police brutality, harmful language to the black community.
March 28, 2024
A little over a 4/5.
I am a huge fan of Morgan Parker’s poetry, and I was excited to hear that she was publishing an essay collection. You can clearly see her sharp critiques of US culture and society (particularly Black culture) in her poems; I was curious to know how she was going to bring that to her essays (if at all). I have to admit, this collection wasn’t quite what I was expecting it to be, but I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. I didn’t expect it to be as self-reflective in the sense that, at times, it felt like I was entering memoir territory. It helped me to quickly reframe this collection to be a little more like a memoir, though, and made for a better understanding of how she was thinking about culture and society. While she does regularly touch on the Black experience—particularly Black women’s experiences—this collection was especially focused on one Black woman’s experiences (i.e., Parker’s own) and her position in a world full of misogynoir.
These essays flow wonderfully from one to the next, and Parker has deftly crafted a cohesive collection that will absolutely have you in an introspective state, reflecting on the state of the world (and, particularly for those in the United States, the state of the country).
I am a huge fan of Morgan Parker’s poetry, and I was excited to hear that she was publishing an essay collection. You can clearly see her sharp critiques of US culture and society (particularly Black culture) in her poems; I was curious to know how she was going to bring that to her essays (if at all). I have to admit, this collection wasn’t quite what I was expecting it to be, but I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. I didn’t expect it to be as self-reflective in the sense that, at times, it felt like I was entering memoir territory. It helped me to quickly reframe this collection to be a little more like a memoir, though, and made for a better understanding of how she was thinking about culture and society. While she does regularly touch on the Black experience—particularly Black women’s experiences—this collection was especially focused on one Black woman’s experiences (i.e., Parker’s own) and her position in a world full of misogynoir.
These essays flow wonderfully from one to the next, and Parker has deftly crafted a cohesive collection that will absolutely have you in an introspective state, reflecting on the state of the world (and, particularly for those in the United States, the state of the country).
April 1, 2024
The week this book was released, I attended an event at my local library where someone asked Parker, “What is the role of the writer in revolution?” Her response was that, besides bearing witness, the role of the writer is directional pointing. In this collection, she exemplifies what it means to live out both roles.
Through the expert mixing of personal anecdote, cultural observation, and the effects of clearly being a studier - of Black literature, Black history, personal narratives, etc. - Parker constructs essays that make me feel precisely and particularly seen while also forcing me to see myself and the world around me with more clarity. Her insightful essays demand that readers sit with the ways in which the legacy of slavery still manifests even in our own minds and bodies and grapple with the ways the cultural, societal, historical failures of American society are not just macrolevel but also quite personal. She urges us to see that the outcomes of these willful failures are bigger and deeper than most of us have been given space to even think about and in so doing, helps us imagine a better way forward.
Ultimately, Parker's book is both liberating and heartbreaking, validating and disheartening. At their best, her essays read like poetry. At their worse, they meander but still somehow pack an emotional punch. The result is a book that I wish I had circa 2015-2016, a book I’ll be chewing on for many months to come.
Through the expert mixing of personal anecdote, cultural observation, and the effects of clearly being a studier - of Black literature, Black history, personal narratives, etc. - Parker constructs essays that make me feel precisely and particularly seen while also forcing me to see myself and the world around me with more clarity. Her insightful essays demand that readers sit with the ways in which the legacy of slavery still manifests even in our own minds and bodies and grapple with the ways the cultural, societal, historical failures of American society are not just macrolevel but also quite personal. She urges us to see that the outcomes of these willful failures are bigger and deeper than most of us have been given space to even think about and in so doing, helps us imagine a better way forward.
Ultimately, Parker's book is both liberating and heartbreaking, validating and disheartening. At their best, her essays read like poetry. At their worse, they meander but still somehow pack an emotional punch. The result is a book that I wish I had circa 2015-2016, a book I’ll be chewing on for many months to come.
April 16, 2024
Thanks Random House and Netgalley for the Advanced Reader's Copy!
Now available.
There are no words to describe what a gift Morgan Parker's You Get What You Pay For is as a collection. Weaving the personal and political, Parker discusses how enslavement and colonization continue to impact race and social structure in the US to this very day. She grapples with the trauma and inheritance of the Trans Atlantic Slave Trade and the shortfalls of reparations. Some musings can get a little dense, but overall this book is a detailed and precise interrogation of what it means to be a Black woman in America.
Now available.
There are no words to describe what a gift Morgan Parker's You Get What You Pay For is as a collection. Weaving the personal and political, Parker discusses how enslavement and colonization continue to impact race and social structure in the US to this very day. She grapples with the trauma and inheritance of the Trans Atlantic Slave Trade and the shortfalls of reparations. Some musings can get a little dense, but overall this book is a detailed and precise interrogation of what it means to be a Black woman in America.
August 31, 2024
This series of essays had some inspiring, thought provoking stories. I loved her take on mental health and the need for great therapists. This book was described by another reviewer as a "take it or leave it" style of writing and I left the book thinking I should just leave it. I want to learn and grow as a person, that's why I seek out books like this one from people with different walks of life than me. I do believe in systemic racism, but I struggled with the idea that I can't ever do anything right as a white woman. It seemed like the author has given up on hope and just wants to be mad forever. And I get it. There's a lot to be mad about.
December 22, 2024
A powerful collection of essays detailing the psychological harms and traverses of mental illness as a black woman in America. Ravaging through topics as wide as the legacies of slavery, conservative Christian education, and the misogynoir of the Big Pimpin' music video, Parker provides an incredibly intimate portrayal of her inner life. Beautifully written, though at times repetitive, motifs of intergenerational trauma, fear, and longing for community provide a fertile ground for her to highlight the haunting spectre of race in everyday life.
March 13, 2024
Thanks to NetGalley and OneWorld for the ARC of this title.
What a fantastic collection. I've been a fan of Parker's work, both poetry and other writing, and having all of these essays (some I had already seen, with plenty new in the mix) in one place was such a treat. These are insightful pieces - on being in therapy, on being a black woman in America the last 5 years, on reparations and so many other topics. There's a great flow to the collection, and I found myself constantly wanting to read just one more until I had fully run out. A great showcase of talent - I hope we get more.
What a fantastic collection. I've been a fan of Parker's work, both poetry and other writing, and having all of these essays (some I had already seen, with plenty new in the mix) in one place was such a treat. These are insightful pieces - on being in therapy, on being a black woman in America the last 5 years, on reparations and so many other topics. There's a great flow to the collection, and I found myself constantly wanting to read just one more until I had fully run out. A great showcase of talent - I hope we get more.
December 19, 2024
探索是一個我喜歡閱讀的原因。對我而言，閱讀是過程，閱讀是探索。當我發現作者的價值觀、心境、思想、或者是面對人生的態度和我相近的時候，我會更覺得自己不孤單。我看了這本書之後，我更加知道，是有這樣和我相似的人們存在的。作者的想法被文字包裝，那樣的文字、它的力度，以及它的溫度，讓我不孤單，不覺得冷。我覺得，我和這本書的作者有很多相似之處，但我也欣賞和需要我們的不同之處。在閱讀的過程中，如果吸收到的都是自己已經有的，那麽老實說，閱讀的意義減少了。我認為，閱讀是改變的過程。閱讀不一定能立即改變我們，但我相信，閱讀提供了我們改變的可能性。我們有了新的知識上的輸入，我們把作者的想法接收下來，吸收它。它成為了我們的養分，或者它變成我們腦中一個(鮮明的)記憶點，伴隨者我們，讓我們擁有更多看待世界的角度。總要有讓我們覺得特別的知識輸入，才會能真切地感受到獲取知識的快樂。有文子的陪伴和知識的獲得，真好。
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March 10, 2025very interesting and well done essays that gave me a lot to think about. Parker does a good job of tying themes together and illustrating a specific idea/concept. The first half was a little lighter and the second half covered more serious themes.
June 11, 2024
Brilliant. Poignant. Furious. Devastating.
August 17, 2024
All of my favorite things in one book. Incredibly beautiful, powerful, and raw essays that turned into a memoir-esque book about the author. Made me think more deeply about race in the U.S. This should be critically acclaimed!
December 30, 2024
I’ve finally identified my literary sweet spot: racial concepts, historical polemics, witty anecdotes, pop culture references. More poets need to write essays. And I need to read them all.
March 30, 2026
Thoughtful and incisive.
June 10, 2024
The thesis of this book resonates with me deeply, but you can tell it’s written through depression. It’s beautiful but feels hopeless, humorless, defeated.
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