A Thousand Morons

by Quim Monzó, Peter Bush (Translator)

A Thousand Morons, Quim Monzó's latest collection of short stories, is rife with very unfortunate characters. There's the young boy in "A Cut" who is upbraided by his teacher when he rudely shows up for class with a huge gash in his neck. And the prince in "One Night" who tries everything to awaken a sleeping princess - yet fails completely.

Seeing that this is a Quim Monzó collection, absurdity offsets the "moronic" sadness. Such as "Love is Eternal," which features a man who decides to finally overcome his commitment issues and marry his dying girlfriend, only to have everything backfire; or, "The Fullness of Summer," in which a family meticulously records every meticulous moment of their gathering.

An excellent combination of longer, elegiac stories of "morons," aging, and the passage of time with short, flashier pieces that display Monzó's wit and playfulness make this one of the strongest collections in the oeuvre of Catalan's short fiction master.


"Today's best known writer in Catalan. He is also, no exaggeration, one of the world's great short-story writers."
-The Independent

"A gifted writer, he draws well on the rich tradition of Spanish surrealism . . . to sustain the lyrical, visionary quality of his imagination."
-The New Yorker

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Spain, Spanish Literature

111 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Quim Monzó was born in Barcelona in 1952.
He has been awarded the National Award for fiction; the City of Barcelona Award for fiction; the Prudenci Bertrana Award for fiction; the El Temps Award for best novel; the Lletra d'Or Prize; the Catalan Writers' Award; the Maria Àngels Anglada; the Trajectòria; he has also been awarded Serra d'Or magazine's prestigious Critics' Award, four times.

In 2007 he wrote and read the opening speech at the Frankfurt Book Fair. Monzó designed a lecture written as if it was a short story. It differed completely from traditional speeches.
Together with Cuca Canals, he wrote the dialogues for Bigas Luna's movie Jamón, jamón. He has also written the musical satire El tango de Don Joan, with Jérôme Savary.
He is a regular contributor to the La Vanguardia newspaper.

Reviews

[karen]

open letter has given me another book by quim monzo!

which i liked somewhat less than the first one.

i loved the second half of this book, which showcases short-short stories, the longest of which is three-and-a-half pages. the first half has some standouts, to be sure, but some of them just didn't do anything for me, sad to say. love is eternal, saturday, and praise were great. they cover such topics as romantic entanglements built on misguided altruistic intentions, the inability to eradicate the stains other people leave on our lives, and the end results of our empty promises. and all three of them are superb. but the opening story, mr. beneset, is one of those short stories that i just don't "get." not that i don't understand the words, or the plot; i am not myself one of the thousand morons, it's just a story that i read, shrugged, and said "why was that story necessary?" which is how i used to feel about most short stories, until i came around, so it is an uncomfortable regression.

but then i get to the second half, and this story, thirty lines, and i have to laugh at the way he seemed to know what i was thinking, questioning the usefulness of the short story itself:

The writer begins typing cautiously. He has a short story to write. Recently, people have been talking about the virtues of short fiction, but, if he were to be frank, he would confess that he detests stories in general and short ones in particular. Nonetheless, to keep in the swim, he has been forced to join the band of fakers pretending to be passionate about brevity. Consequently, he is terrified by how lightly his fingers run across the keys, one word flowing after another, and another, and then another, finally shaping into a line behind which another—and another!—are already forming, yet still he can't focus on a theme, because he is trained for long distances: he sometimes needs a hundred pages before he gets a glimpse of what he is going to write about, and at others not even two hundred suffice. He has never once worried about length. The longer, the better: blessed be each new line, because, one after the other, they reveal the size and splendor of his work, and consequently, even though two or fifty lines add nothing to the story he is telling, at the end of the day, he never axes a single one. Conversely, to write this story he would almost need to take a tape measure and measure it. It is absurd. It's like asking a marathon runner to run a hundred meters with dignity. In a story, each new line isn't one more line, but one less, and in this case, specifically, one line less up to thirty, because the rubric is: "between one and thirty lines," in the voice of the old fellow who called him from a newspaper's Sunday supplement to ask him for a story. The writer reluctantly lifts his fingers off the keys and counts the lines he has written so far: twenty-three. He has only seven to go to reach thirty. But, after he has registered that insight—plus this one—even less remain: six. Good God! He is incapable of having a thought and not typing it, so each new one eats up a new line and that means by line twenty-six he realizes he is only four lines from the end and he hasn't succeeded in focusing on the story, perhaps because—and he has suspected this for a long time—he has nothing to say, and although he usually manages to hide the fact by dint of writing pages and yet more pages, this damned short story makes it quite clear, and explains why he sighs when he reaches line twenty-nine and, with a not entirely justified feeling of failure, puts the final full-stop on the thirtieth.

because it manages to simultaneously poke fun at people who think it is easy to write a short story, and at,you know, those overinflated windbags who write huge volumes of inflated postmodernist prose.

IS LIGHTHEARTED RIBBING, FRIENDS!!

so, yeah. i think the shorter pieces on this collection are stronger than the slightly longer ones on the first half, but he is unquestionably a writer i enjoy, and i also do strongly recommend the first collection open letter put out of his, Guadalajara. you know, if you like stories.

also: heh. quim

come to my blog!

[Shiva]

راستش دلیل اصلی من برای خواندن این کتاب، مترجم اون بود که کتاب رو رایگان و بدون سانسور در اختیار خوانندگان گذاشت و به اصطلاح خودش قلم را فدای بوی کاغذ و چندغاز درآمدش نکرد و یادداشتش را با شعار "زن، زندگی، آزادی" به اتمام رسوند.
کتاب مجوعه‌ای از نوزده داستان‌ کوتاه است که از دو فصل تشکیل شده است. داستانها موضوعات بنیادینی چون مرگ، عشق، زندگی، روزمرگی، کشمکش‌های روانی، چالش‌های اجتماعی، و... رو در برمیگیرند. داستان‌ها رو می‌تونم ابزورد اما تلخ و کمی تاریک توصیف کنم و نثر مترجم رو روان و سلیس.

[Sepehr Omidvaar]

"سادگیِ ویرانگر"

از عبارت خود کیم مونزو کمک می‌گیرم تا این متن را بنویسم.
"یک‌هزار کودن" مجموعه‌ای از داستان‌های کوتاهی است که غالبا بر یک موقعیت بسیار ساده یا روزمره و پیش‌پاافتاده استوار است. مثل دیدار اتفاقی با معشوقه قدیمی، نگاه کردن به بیرون از پنجره اتاق، نویسنده‌ای که کتاب نویسنده دیگری را تحسین می‌کند، نویسنده‌ای که قرار است یک داستان کوتاه در سی سطر بنویسد، پسری که در مدرسه زخم و جراحت عمیقی برداشته، مردی که عادت دارد قبل از خوابیدن کتاب بخواند و چگونگی شکل گرفتن یک مکالمه ساده بین مرد و زن غریبه در جشن.
چگونگی بسط و گسترش این موقعیات اما غیرقابل‌پیش‌بینی است. از دل این موقعیت‌های ساده، نویسنده دردناک‌ترین ناخشنودی‌ها، کلافگی‌ها و وسواس‌های تمام‌نشدنی، اتفاقات وحشتناک پنهان شده پشت هر چیز دلچسپ، ناتوانی در برابر رنج بی‌پایان زندگی و در نهایت احساس همواره‌حاضر نارضایتی از جهان را با زبانی طنز و هجوآمیز، ساده و ویرانگر بیان می‌کند.

ترجمه روان،خوش‌خوان و از همه مهم‌تر بدون سانسور این کتاب که توسط خود مترجم منتشر شده را می‌توانید از لینک زیر بخوانید:

https://shorturl.at/fhrN3

[Hollowspine]

Many of these stories, I thought, were pure genius. Monzo really brings out the truth of ridiculous situations, absurd realities, silly assumptions and the thousand moronic things that people do all the time.

One of my favorites in the collection was Praise, about a famous author who makes an off-handed comment about a good book he'd read, creating celebrity around a new writer. It made me laugh and was completely accurate about the world of publicity and public opinion.

The first section of the book was composed of longer works, ranging from around 7-10 pages long. The second part was flash fiction, some stories only a paragraph or two long. Throughout I was astounded by Monzo's ability to write a complete story, moving, funny, and a perfect bite of life from just one and a half-pages.

Many of the stories take place in the obsessive minds of their narrators, going over the options, what they want to do, what they should do, what others may think, and on, that is completely natural to me and reminded me of some of my own moronic inner monologues.

I was also especially taken by the story Saturday, which had so many levels to it and was a suspenseful story despite the lack of excitement in it. I kept wondering about the motives and trying to figure out what happened, death or abandonment, only at the end did I partially satisfy my curiosity. The story builds until the end, which was a very interesting ending.

The collection is very well-written (and translated) and every word seems specifically chosen for it's effect. The end result is a wonderful read that will stick with readers well after the last word is read.

[Andreua]

Quan vam entrar al reread, els amics de la universitat em van mirar sorpresos, fins i tot decebuts per veure com, de tots els autors de la literatura universal, de tots els escriptors amb fotografies en blanc i negre, fumant i mirant per la finestra o simulant que rumien un conte que mai veurà la llum i que existeix com a pretext d'una fotografia, sempre em dirigeixo a la M (més tard a la P, per Pàmies i després a la C de Cortazar i la B de Borges) per buscar aquests llibrets curts que devoro moltes tardes (alguns ja llegits) quan verdaderament no sé què em passa, i que em reconforten tant.

Potser és per la visió tan quotidiana, per la ironia despresa de la mirada realista-pessimista d'un escriptor amb amor per Barcelona o potser per l'addicció a aquella pell de gallina que em sobresalta en finalitzar un relat. Quim Monzó m'entendreix. Em fa veure que en aquella senyora que baixa per dos croissants de xocolata al forn de la cantonada perquè avui, dilluns, els seus néts tenen entrenament de futbol; hi ha una història. Que també hi és en aquell home que renta els plats, escoltant com la seva dona parla de la necessitat de comprar un nou estampat per les cortines, però que ell ara, amb la forquilla, intenta treure allò que embussa la pica com ho feia el seu pare, que ara es mor en una clínica privada que li treu la meitat del sou. Tots al final som històries i ens ajuda escoltar les dels altres per no haver d'enfrontar-nos a les nostres, que ja ens les sabem de memòria i tendeixen a ser les més mal escrites (eh, però igual de divertides i iròniques).

Centrant-me en el llibre, he de dir que hi ha dues parts diferenciades (dividides pel mateix Monzó) i que, sense cap mena de dubte, la primera és molt millor que la segona. Amb això no dic que els relats de la segona meitat no estiguin bé (n'hi ha molts que els gaudeixes amb enveja) però és que els primers són, mare de Déu, sublim darrere sublim. El llibre descriu la decadència humana des de tots els prismes de l'edat: els problemes de fer-se gran, d'estimar quan no s'estima, de la solitud de la companyia, o de la mort, individual o col·lectiva, d'una part o de la totalitat del "jo". Temes transcendents que a partir de l'estructura del relat (que sabeu que m'és predilecte) es configuren a la perfecció.

Aquí (on escric aquestes últimes paraules) hi anava un altre paràgrafs (esborrat després de rumiar-m'ho). No era res important i, potser per això, he decidit esborrar-lo i substituir-lo per aquestes paraules que tothom estarà d'acord: molesten més que cap altra cosa.

[Jonfaith]

Despite the charming Barcelona locale, this was an indifferent collection of stories, many which wrestle with the zentih of life: love and mortality share top billing with guilt. Most of the stories are undercooked, more sketches than even glimpses. I felt those stories concerning authors and writing were particularly obnoxious.

Microstories apparently don't suit me.

[Vilis]

Munzo labi prot aiznest šķietami vienkāršus gadījumus kosmiskā absurdā, taču šeit tie pārāk bieži beigās vienalga līdzinās burkšķošai parodijai.

[Aniol Costa]

podria fer una ressenya però com que me'l va regalar el meu avi trobo que és més rellevant comentar la gràcia que em fa imaginar-me el meu avi llegint les pirades d'olla d'aquest senyor. és la barreja perfecte entre bogeria i genialitat

[Navid]

مجموعه‌ای از داستان‌های کوتاه که معمولاً ترکیب‌شون رو میتونم به عنوان کمی ابزورد، تلخ اما بانمک توصیف کنم..
داستان‌های نیمه دوم کتاب هر کدوم ۲ صفحه بیشتر نیستن. جالب‌ترین‌هاشون برای من:
- خون ماه بعد
- زخم
- لبه‌ی بلااستفاده

داستان‌های نیمه اول کمی عمیق‌تر و طولانی‌ترن. بهترین‌ها برای من:
- عشق جاودانه است
- شنبه
- فرارسیدن بهار

به شکل ویژه داستان «فرارسیدن بهار» با موضوع سالمندی سر-و-کار داره و به نظرم بهترین/عمیق‌ترین و در عین حال تلخ‌ترین داستان این سری محسوب میشه.

[Aina Pocurull]

el conte “una nit” descriu literalment una violació i no sé si l’autor n’era conscient mentre ho escrivia; si es pretén que hi hagi humor fa força angúnia. si que és cert que hi ha històries divertides i jugar amb el surrealisme és xulu, però no ho sé, sap greu quim.

[Bogdan]

Prosas pobladas por pequeños personajes patéticos, abyectos, ridículos: unas caricaturas absurdas de hombres desesperadamente insignificantes pero —como vi casi solo en Chéjov—, a pesar de todo esto, conmovedores y cercanos.

[Biblio Bat]

داستان‌های عشق جاودانه است، شنبه و تحسین از بخش یک کتاب و داستان‌های یک شب و لبه‌ی بلااستفاده از بخش دو به نظر من خیلی درخشان بودن ولی درخشش اصلی به کار مترجم محترم این کتاب برمی‌گرده که در مسیر انتشار کتاب‌های بدون سانسور اولین قدم‌هارو برداشته و با گذشت از حق خودش به عنوان یک مترجم، این کتاب رو بدون سانسور و رایگان در اختیار خواننده‌ها گذاشته. دست مریزاد، منتظر ترجمه‌های روان و دلنشین بعدی شما هستیم.
و همونجور که تو پیشگفتار اشاره کردید، زن، زندگی، آزادی تا زمانی که این شعار محقق بشه.

[David Zúñiga Artigas]

Relats de temes més profunds com la mort o la sol•litud i altres sobre l estupidessa humana i els petits sense sentits de la vida. Molt bó.

[Farshad Ashourun]

به تازگی پدری که سال‌ها مریض بود و مشکل ریوی داشت رو از دست دادم.
سطر به سطر داستان فرارسیدن بهار رو تجربه کردم.
بهترین داستان کتاب بود

[MiNa Sal]

بیشتر داستانهای بخش اول کتاب خیلی خوبند. نویسنده طنازی کرده، داروی تلخ را در شربت شیرین خورانده. وقتی ماجرا نگاه تیزبین و دقیق به سالخوردگی و مرگ باشد و حماقتهای یومیه بشری آن هم به ساده‌ترین و ژرف ترین روایت، قطعا خواندنیست. فضای بعضی داستانهای بخش دوم من را یاد نوشته‌های پیراندللو انداخت.
داستان «لبه بلااستفاده» در بخش دوم گویی از یکی از خاطرات من نوشته شده😁😁😁
پ.ن: سپاسگزار لطف مترجم کتابم

[jeremy]

a thousand morons (mil cretins) is the third collection of short stories by catalan author, journalist, and translator quim monzó to appear in english translation. split into two sections, a thousand morons features (in addition to a most fantastic title) nineteen well-crafted stories, many of which are no longer than a couple of pages. introducing brio into the banal and fun into the funereal, monzó is able to make an intriguing tale of even the most commonplace incidents or interactions. his often melancholy characters, possessed as they sometimes are by ruminative personalities, endure the vagaries of everyday life with reluctance and resignation. while his stories on their face may appear uncomplicated, they frequently belie the simplicity and straightforwardness of life's more prosaic moments. "i'm looking out of the window," "praise," and "the coming of spring" are amongst the strongest of the collection's longer stories and "a cut," "one night," "another night," and "beyond the sore" are the best of the briefer ones. a thousand morons is further proof that quim monzó is one of the more proficient, distinctive, and exciting writers at work today.

hang up, if you want, i don't care, because the only thing i'm interested in now is looking out of the window and shutting myself off from the rest of the universe. all this time i've been looking out of the window, i've not thought about work, the family, or any of the problems that keep me awake at night. i've not thought, say, about the life i normally lead, or about how i spend my day pondering how things should be rather than savoring them as they come along. i do all i can to put reality in the right frame and to foresee everything so that, if i can avoid any surprises, tomorrow will be all the more tolerable. but foreseeing everything creates such boundless disquiet that things pass me by like a breath of air and i enjoy nothing. i only enjoy a kiss when it is over and done with; then i remember it with pleasure. i don't enjoy it at the time because, beyond the tenderness, i see the darkness, the horrific possibilities lurking behind all that is pleasant.

*translated from the catalan by peter bush (guadalajara, the enormity of the tragedy, onetti, goytisolo, et al.)

[Daniel]

I love Monzo's prose and perspective on the world. Some of these vignettes read like short meditations, some as a single scene that Monzo observed, whether in actuality or in his own head. The longer works that make the first half of this story allow for more emotional attachment, even if a story doesn't particularly go anywhere. In fact, the more I read of Monzo, the more I appreciate his prose as a source of reading enjoyment. I adore the written word and I feel a mutual sense of adoration in Monzo's words. There is genuine love of language and story in these stories, and it is wonderful to encounter this sentiment.

[Núria]

Monzó mai em decepciona. És sempre divertit i lúcid, però cada vegada més dur. Prefereixo els contes de la primera part, que els de la segona, que més aviat són només anècdotes, tot i que són molt enginyoses. És sorprenent la capacitat que té per resultar sempre realista, tot i que moltes vegades els seus contes acabin amb exageracions grotesques, però és que aquestes sempre resulten totalment creïbles i lògiques. 'L'arribada de la primavera' és una obra mestra, tan ben escrita, tan absorbent i tan reconeixible.

[Maria Di Biase]

Lettura molto strana.
Un racconto, Sabato è molto valido. Bello. Ma tanto.
Qui altri racconti però sono una noia mortale.
Altri passano più tranquillamente, ma niente rimane.
Sono rimasta molto delusa da questo libro. Vero è che nelle raccolte c'è sempre quella parte che piace di più e quella che colpisce meno. Ma un solo racconto non può reggere il valore di un intero libro. Almeno per me.

[Beth Wheeler]

A quick, more than enjoyable read. What a short story craftsman: Monzo writes with perfect pacing, delightfully absurd characters, and endings that surprise and satisfy.

[محمدحسین]

شاید اگه زمان دیگه‌ای رو واسه خوندنش انتخاب می‌کردم یه ذره بیشتر خوشم می‌اومد ولی در کل چیز ویژه‌ای نبود.

[Maria Ivars]

[2.5]

Tenia moltíssimes ganes de llegir aquest recull de relats i, tot i que no he pogut gaudir-lo tant com m'agradaria per falta de temps, he de dir que crec que Quim va encertar a l'hora d'elegir els temes a tractar. No obstant, no m'ha acabat de convèncer l'estructura del llibre; em donava la sensació que mai acabava de saber el que deuria sobre cada relat. Això sí, totes les històries són accessibles per a tothom i entretingudes!

[Mahtab Hamzehlouy]

این ترجمه‌ی دومی بود که از آرمان امین می‌خوندم و واضحه که با وسواس خاصی واژه‌هاش رو انتخاب می‌کنه.
به این کتاب کیم مونزو در واقع سه‌و‌نیم می‌دم.
یه سری از داستانک‌ها چنگی به دل نمی‌زد اما بعضی‌ها واقعن جذاب بودند.
پیشنهاد می‌کنم بخونیدش.

[Payam Nazari]

☆3.5☆
بعد از کتاب باعث و بانی، یک هزار کودن دومین اثریه که از کیم‌مونزو خوندم.
از مترجم کتاب تشکر می‌کنم که به سراغ نویسنده‌ای معاصر از اسپانیا رفت و در ضمن تن به سانسور و باید و نبایدهای انتشارات نداد و پی‌دی‌اف کتاب رو رایگان در دسترس علاقمندان قرار داد.

[SaraH]

It’s been a long time since I have read short stories and what a come back was this! Loved the first section. The stories were so vividly written that I chewed on the scenes in my mind for a few days after. Some of those characters would stay with me for a long time.
The second part was less appealing to my taste. I found them too short and too abrupt and that’s why I found it difficult to relate to the characters.

[Alec Downie]

An oddity of observation.

[Nagozeta]

Una joyita de la literatura catalana. Para leer y volver a leer 💝

[Lucía Blánquez]

Aquestes historietes curtes m’han fet els trajectes de metre i bus molt amens. La majoria tracten de criticar situaciones socials d’una manera molt elegant per tal de fer-te reflexionar.

Menció especial al conte Una Nit. I dins d’aquest conte menció especial a l’última frase. :)

[Raquel Pizarro]

4.5 !!!

[Tara]

A good short story collection can grow like a city. Either organically – as when an author writes stories and publishes them together once he has enough for a book (like F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, or Salinger are good examples). Or through careful planning from the get/go – think James Joyce, Jennifer Egan and William Faulkner. Obviously the critical thing is that the stories, themselves, are good. But a planned collection adds a layer of complexity for the reader. The stories can be linked or not. They can be built around a group of shared characters, set in the same historical period or geographic region. The more ambitious the author the more abstract the themes held in common become.

And then there is Quim Monzó. Whose short story collections appear so meticulously planned, but whose individual stories manage to still feel spontaneous and dashing. His new collection, a thousand morons, is exactly what it claims to be. A collection of portraits – mostly sketches – of morons. Men & women from all walks of life behaving idiotically. But these absurdities, these quirks of behavior and situation, are completely familiar. The “moron” in the title is all-encompassing. The situations are simultaneously tragic and very funny. Monzó explores the absurdity of the human condition while avoiding the obvious literary contrivances that go with it.

A young man visits his father, Mr. Beneset, in a nursing home. Their conversation is nothing special. But as they speak the father is donning lipstick, stockings, a bra and a dress. This quirk, the component that unbalances us, moves the story away from the mundane and towards the sublime.

In Love is Eternal another young man bumps into an old girlfriend. They rekindle their half-hearted romance. When he learns she is dying he decides to make her remaining days happy, only to have the situation backfire on him completely.

In Praise a simple comment by a best-selling author, a sentence of praise for a debut collection of short stories, creates a domino cascade of expectations and obligations that traps the protagonist in a farce. Praise is a prime example of how Monzó writes comedy with an underlying somberness – the impression he gives is that though these situations are silly and ridiculous to the reader, they are serious matters for his characters.

a thousand morons is divided into two parts. Part 1 contains seven short stories of approximately 10 pages in length. In Part 2 the stories are more numerous but even shorter, about 3 pages or less. They are more like sketches or flash fictions than traditional short stories. Monzó has truncated the narrative arc, moving quickly from beginning to end with very little detail wasted between. The stories in Part 2 are snappy. Joke – punchline: the annunciation goes differently than expected, a mother watches as technology disconnects her family, we witness an inane pick-up at a cocktail party and a hostile restaurant takeover. It’s all situational irony, carefully planned and brilliantly entertaining.

It is the second collection of Quim Monzó ‘s short stories, translated by Peter Bush, to be published by Open Letter. The first, Guadalajara, was cerebral and written in a dense prose. In it Monzó played complex games with his description of space, interpretation of other authors’ works and with words. a thousand morons is very different. He’s left the literary games behind and simply held up a mirror. The reader will easily recognize his- or herself in these stories. There is nothing technically breathtaking in the writing, per se, other than its economy (which, actually, is rather breathtaking). He deftly – s0metimes brutally) depicts the emotions and eccentricities which lead his characters into the situations he is describing. According to Quim Monzó, human beings write their own farces and (in the spirit of Sartre) create their own hells. We star in our very own comedies every day without the slightest awareness that we’re doing so.

For my full review please visit my blog at http://booksexyreview.com/2013/01/09/...