edit: btw i'm actually morally superior to you guys because y'all hate this book because it's too gay and i hate this book because it's poorly written and also too homophobic.
hoo boy this book was so disappointing in so many ways that i don’t even know where to start. so this review is going to be a mess. not as much of a mess as the book though (and guess what, i’m not even getting paid for this review so that should be extra embarrassing for mark oshiro and rick riordan).
SPOILERS AHEAD
i’ll go through the plot first. the plot is possibly hands down the stupidest plot i’ve ever heard of in my entire life. nico has been having all these cryptic dreams etc for months (or weeks or something i don’t know. who do you think i am? someone who read the book?). and he’s been hearing a voice calling out to him from tartarus. and then he gets a cryptic prophecy etc etc. nico thinks bob is calling out to him. so, with like maybe half an hour of discussion, maybe an hour at MOST, nico, will, chiron, and mr d all agree that the clear solution is that nico (accompanied by will) should go down to tartarus. and stop considering any other options.
let’s unpack that, shall we?
first of all, they are talking about TARTARUS. you know, the place that is actual hell for demigods like nico and will?? yeah. more importantly, they don’t even know that it is actually bob! for all they know, it’s someone will serious malicious intent screaming at nico to get down there and they’re just… fine with that? hell, mr d brings up the possibility of it being a trap and chiron dismisses that idea. chiron. CHIRON! do not worry. i will be complaining more about him and mr d when i start complaining about the characters.
anyway, i think it’s fairly obvious that going to tartarus is absolutely the worst decision they could make with the information they have, which is practically nothing except that something strange and cryptic is happening. here’s an important bit from the prophecy: in order to rescue bob, nico will have to leave behind something of equal value. think of what a character like nico diangelo who has been through a lot of shit could have to leave behind. this will be relevant later. now let’s move on to what happens next.
nico and will get to manhattan because they plan to use the door of orpheus which is in central park. true fans will remember that from the last olympian, which they obsessively reread every single year during their yearly reread of pjo and (generously) hoo (based on a true story, etc). that’s right, person who has found my review and decided to read it who doesn’t actually know who i am. i’m a capital F percy jackson fan. i read these books for the first time when i was twelve and am now twenty four. percy jackson has me wrapped around his little finger. this is personal.
in manhattan, nico suddenly gets the idea of calling percy and annabeth to ask for their advice on surviving tartarus. one wonders why he didn’t think of this before. maybe it’s because he’s stupid now (everyone in this book has to be stupid for the plot to function).
we get a cameo from sally jackson, queen of my heart. thankfully, oshiro and riordan do not manage to ruin sally in her one very small appearance. the same cannot be said for percy and annabeth.
they give the WORST advice. it’s all “oh, just trust and believe in each other” and blah blah blah sappy bullshit. not once do either of them think to mention the hermes shrine they used to contact camp when they were in tartarus. not like that would be incredibly helpful. not like chiron could send them actual food down there. they don’t mention damasen or drinking from the phlegethon either. those are things that nico and will could genuinely use down there. this strengthens my hypothesis that rick is now treating tartarus as a rite of passage for characters and their relationships. i will elaborate further on this later.
anyway, after getting the world’s worst advice, nico and will head to the doors of death. they both get trapped in their individual nightmares by a demon/diety man called epiales (i think i’ve spelt that right but i will not check). they esca
the troglodytes are racist. the very idea of using the racist (and possibly ableist?) names the ancient greeks called foreigners to invent and ENTIRE FANTASY RACE is extremely racist. you don’t have to do much research to find this out about those myths and that word. plus, “troglodyte” is used as actual insult. it’s weird and uncomfortable and not befitting of the level of research reading those myths takes. they have a language with screeches and clicks. it reads like it’s supposed to be played for laughs, which is a bad look because there are real languages with click sounds that get ridiculed in real life. i will call them frog people now. it feels nicer than troglodyte.
ignoring the racism, the frog people are still sort of boring. their certified rick riordan gimmick is that they really like hats and wear a lot of them. they also live underground and don’t like light. that’s pretty much all there is to them and there is nothing unique about any individual frog person.
so after a bunch of talking, they lead nico and will to this dude whose name i forgot who has to allow them passage through his farm and in payment he wants something from persephone’s garden. there’s also this incredibly awkwardly written passage where he comes out and is super defensive of it which is a very strange thing to do to a creature from greek mythology, which was incredibly gay.
nico and will decide to steal something from persephone’s garden. this scene is horrible because persephone is there. this book is set in the summer, so persephone shouldn’t be in the underworld. will plucks some pomegranates and persephone corners him for a talk. in this talk we get the horrendous revelation that persephone fell in love with hades after he kidnapped her (literally the definition of stockholm syndrome, by the way) and says she enjoyed the time away from her mother. you know, the mother who was rightly extremely concerned when her daughter was suddenly kidnapped and spent ages wandering the earth looking for her daughter and was so sad that the crops withered. i find it alarming that this is the choice rick decided to go with for his children’s book with a target audience of middle grade (and yes, i know oshiro co-wrote, but this is rick’s universe. i would not let anyone fuck with my characters like that). if he wanted to, he could’ve gone with one of the nicer persephone-hades stories where she chooses to go with him or willingly runs away to the underworld. these are more recent inventions but they work better in a story where you want persephone to actually be in love with hades. because, you know, she doesn’t get stockholm syndrome.
after this horrendous scene, nico and will make their way to the banks of the acheron (that one is the river of pain, for those of you who didn’t decide to spend their formative years researching greek mythology). here they find a lonely nymph/daimon/spirit/forgot what terminology they used in the book named gorgyra. she allows them to use her boat which floats gently along the river in exchange for hearing some stories for them. these very boring stories are annoyingly used as interludes between chapters. none of them are interesting important or relevant so i will not recount them.
nico and will ride the boat over the cliff and fall into tartarus, finally, about two thirds of the way into the book. they say i love you, which definitely reads like a cheap rehash of that sweet thing percabeth did several books ago. when they get to the bottom nico passes out from exertion and will decides to go on a little walk because he is very stupid. it is at this point in the book that we find out will did not pack any weapons to go to tartarus. i get that he’s a medic, but this scene shows us definitively that nico likes will for his face, not his brain. because will hasn’t got a brain.
nico meets a mania who is also a ghost and is obsessed with taking care of dionysus. his situation is genuinely sympathetic because he’s trapped in this horror loop of sorts where he is unable to do anything but obsess over dionysus and his memory also resets to just looking for dionysus constantly. it’s nice and depressing. not scary, but they haven’t been in tartarus very long yet, so it’s not a big deal.
there are monster attacks, etc. it’s all very boring. will gets attacked by some monsters but before we have the chance to feel any real terror, small bob shows up and dispatches them.
this brings us to a more serious issue.
i would only send my characters to tartarus to make them suffer. nico and will do not suffer sufficiently. this may seem like i’m being harsh. but i don’t see the point of sending your character to tartarus if you don’t want them to come within a hair’s breadth of snapping. nico and will have some funky stuff go on with their heads, sure. but in true rick riordan fashion, nothing he does will compare to something he already did. i am referring to the percy akhlys scene from house of hades. there isn’t even a single line in this book where i genuinely got the impression that either nico or will were about to completely lose it. i wouldn’t really care what kind of breakdown it is, i just wanted one of them to truly have a huge mental breakdown. i mean, they’re in hell. come the fuck on.
moving on, there’s some more boat action (imagine a very drab and sort of poisonous it’s a small world) and they get to damasen’s cave. he’s not there. they meet some incredibly unfunny and very boring monsters who are not scary at all (they actually WANT to die because of some collecting bones scheme they have going on, so on a scale of getting snacks from the store and the return of sauron, the stakes are at a firm “cozy in bed”). they have the audacity to find these two guys excessively weird, which is rich coming from a guy who has a ghost for a chauffeur and a guy who glows in the dark. then they have a little nap. and then they go to look for bob and nyx.
by the way, the villain of this book is nyx. she has been keeping bob trapped. i will complain about her later.
they find bob and free him. then nyx finds them with an entourage of various supernatural or demonic or divine beings. nemesis and hypnos are also here, for some reason (this reason is that the authors wanted them there). there’s some standard back and forth.
then we come to the revelation of this book: nyx has created children with nico diangelo.
yes, you did read that right.
no, i’m not lying.
just think about that for a few seconds. a few minutes, even. i’m still not sure how to phrase my reaction to this part. it was something between disbelief, disgust, and some more disbelief. i had to stop reading for a few minutes so i could cackle like a madwoman.
these children are personifications of nico’s inner demons (guilt, grief, trauma, etc). nico then proceeds to resolve the conflict in the most predictable way possible. leaving his inner demons behind (figuratively. he tells them they’re free now and he’s not the boss of them. literally they leave tartarus with him). our protagonists then run away and get back into the it’s a small world of hell. this time the acheron doesn’t cause them any pain because they’ve decided they no longer deserve pain. it evaporates nyx, however. somehow her ego could not protect her.
nico has this dream sent by hades where bianca and his mom are there (hades is also there). it’s sweet and touching as long as you don’t think about the fact that bianca canonically bathed in the lethe and reincarnated back in battle of the labyrinth. and it also stops being sweet and touching when you get to the part where hades admits that he sent nico the prophecy which pushed him to go to tartarus (character assassinatoin). if my immortal dad did that to me, i would kill him. that’s a real acceptance of my dark side, i’ll say. not just having personifications of it follow me around all day.
nico and will sleep and bob somehow gets them back to camp half blood while they’re in the boat. from there it’s all just talking and explaining, but nico does have a call with piper i will complain about momentarily.
now let’s talk about nyx. she is set up as a huge threat. her being the big bad is somewhat of a reveal but i thought it was the most obvious choice. this is not the issue, however. this issue is that nyx is not nearly as intimidating, threatening, and powerful as she should be. she’s a primordial. she should be a tremble-in-her-presence villain. she is extremely underpowered and gets held back by small bob and her lackeys. she is both older and more powerful than the acheron, which somehow burns away her corporeal form.
even more confusing are her motivations. nyx, in this book, is fundamentally against change. she thinks you get born as one thing and you should stay that way forever. this is because nyx is very stupid. her plan is extremely barebones. she wants to trap nico in tartarus because he’s a child of hades who has felt some bad emotions before and seen some bat shit which means he must now “choose darkness” (read: stay in tartarus and be depressed forever, i guess). if that doesn’t make any sense to you, it is because it’s a stupid plan that doesn’t make any sense. she traps bob because he changed as a person and she is against that as a concept. i wonder why bob is the only person she trapped and nico the only one she went after, not any of the other numerous people within this series alone who have changed from what their “nature” is. probably because rick didn’t think of this idea before. the entire time, i was just wondering why exactly nyx cared so much. she was a cartoon villain. she literally had no reason to do anything she was doing.
she has very little presence and the second she starts to lose, she turns into a screeching screaming mess not befitting of what is supposed to be one of THE most terrifying entities in this entire universe. she’s like one of those assholes at starbucks who start screaming because you gave them one pump of sugar, not two. there is nothing scary or intimidating about her and she seems like a pathetic loser.
nico. ah, my poor nico. for such an interesting character he felt remarkably boring. rick doesn’t seem to know how to write him, considering he’s had like 4 different characters so far. this nico is sort of a mix of nico from pjo, hoo, and toa all in one. in not a good way. he was probably the strongest part of the book, which isn’t saying much. the main issue with nico in this book was how will-centric he was. rick has done this before with other characters he’s put in relationships (like percy practically forgetting about sally in hoo when he was quite literally ready to commit murder for her in pjo). nico devotes very little mental energy towards his other friends or family like hazel (his sister??? hello???) or reyna or percy or jason or bianca get very little consideration from him. in addition, nico is sporting a mostly percy-esque sense of humour with an edgy tinge. it felt natural coming from percy because he was just the kind of guy who made those jokes. from nico it feels quite out of character. he is also way too cheesy and it definitely does not feel like the nico we’ve been following for the last several books. so far i have ignored the big character assassination moment. take a shot every time i write character assassination if you want alcohol poisoning. we learn that nico did a grand romantic gesture to ask will out. which, from everything we have come to learn about nico, is literally the exact polar opposite of everything he stands for. character assassination
will. this dude had no personality in blood of olympus apart from being an annoying dick. now his only personality is “son of apollo”. all of his personality traits are extrapolated from “son of apollo”. he is allergic to edgy humour for some inexplicable reason because apparently a field medic who has been through 3 major world-ending level conflicts at this point has never heard any of his friends who were dying in front of his eyes make an edgy joke. he is seriously uncomfortable with darkness (of the metaphorical nature, though he is also uncomfortable with literal darkness because of a godly powers thing) to such an extreme degree that you wonder how he survived the battle of manhattan, let alone any of the following conflicts. he’s constantly in “healer mode”. it’s like they imported a barebones extremely one-dimensional fanfiction understanding of will and decided to make it canon. it makes sense for will to be afraid of and uncomfortable with the underworld and especially tartarus. it does NOT make sense for will to repond to nico calling the underworld his second home with “i could never live here” (that’s a direct quote). great job will. why are you dating nico if everything he’s associated with makes you extremely uncomfortable? we don’t get an answer to this question. will practically expects nico to be someone else. sometimes he is extremely empathetic and kind. sometimes his empathy and kindness evaporate like my hope for his character. he also doesn’t bring a weapon to tartarus? i mean, that’s just stupid. i have nothing else to say about it. he’s a weirdly characterized very stupid dude. i could say character assassination, but will has very little character to bring into this book in the first place.
percy and annabeth. i don’t have much to say about annabeth except i think she would be much smarter than that and give better advice. percy, on the other hand, is quite literally a man whose fatal flaw is loyalty. and he is also traumatized from tartarus (it’s also acknowledged in this book). the percy jackson i know would fly his ass to new york to personally prevent nico and will from going to tartarus. instead, he says it’s a bad idea and once nico says i’m definitely doing this, he stops pushing the issue. rick, you can’t write a character whose fatal flaw is loyalty and keep him out of the story when people he cares about are getting into dangerous situations. his fatal flaw can’t just evaporate. this is a character assassination.
also, rick has the unmitigated GALL to call percy straight. percy! percy jackson! i clocked that guy as a bisexual at 12 before i even knew what bisexuality was. straight my fucking ass. character assassination. maybe rick just got too uncomfortable that us queer people had claimed percy. CHARACTER ASSASSINATION.