The Prisoner

Dark Elf of Syron #1

by Laura Lond

Captain Torren, the warden of the Dormigan Prison, knows that the mysterious Prisoner 34 is much more dangerous than the authorities think. Torren does his best to guard him, going so far as to break some of his orders, but the new governor’s sudden wish to personally inspect the prison threatens to destroy the shaky balance the warden has achieved. Will the Prisoner comply and help Torren through the inspection? What will he ask in return? And will he keep his word?

The Prisoner is a novella approximately 9,300 words (50 pages). It is Book 1 of The Dark Elf of Syron series. Book 2, The Knight, and book 3, The King, are also available, as well as the combined 3 in 1 edition.

Genres: Fantasy, Short Stories

34 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 1, 2012

About the author

Laura Lond is an internationally published author of 20+ novels, novellas, and short stories. She has a Bachelor of Arts degree in history. Her first job was at a literary museum. After that Laura had entered the world of business, working for large corporations like Xerox Ltd. and Fluor Daniel. Writing, however, has always been her passion. When she was blessed with an opportunity to write fiction full time (well, almost...), Laura embraced it and never looked back.

Laura prefers to write in the fantasy genre, but she has ventured out into contemporary fiction as well ("Five Million Dollar Cat," "If Grandma Ain't Happy"). She appreciates good, clean humor and often incorporates it in her works.

In addition to novels and short fiction, Laura has also released a series of children's coloring books and picture books ("Rhyming Names Funny Animals," "Help! We're Black and White" "Funny Poems," "The Kitten Who Liked To Dress Up"). While she sometimes uses artificial intelligence tools to create book covers and illustrations, Laura's texts are always 100% authentic, written by herself without any use of AI.

Reviews

[Tabitha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would love to see more of this story. Love the characters and there is so much that isn't told that would really make a great book.

[J.A. Fleming · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this writer and this series - great idea and wonderful characterization and setting and plot structure.

[Keith Nixon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Who is the mysterious Prisoner 34? Despite being kept under lock and key in Dormigan jail, warden Captain Torren knows full well Prisoner 34 is powerful enough to escape whenever he wants. Why does he stay? Torren tries to find out.

This is a short story, less that 10,000 words, so a necessarily short review results. The subject matter is interesting and it is relatively well written. The author creates a strong sense of mystery in the opening pages and I was interested to find out much more. Although fantasy based, the place created does not feel too alien (up to you whether you see this as positive or negative). The characters are pretty good too, particularly Prisoner 34 (with his strange and unnatural eyes) and the warden, Torren.

However, there are a couple of issues that hold the rating at three stars. First is the story construction, it feels like the opening chapter of a much longer book with another one from a later stage thrown in, i.e. it hangs together okay but could be stronger. Second, once the Prisoner goes walkabout some of the mystery is lost during the interaction with the new prison Governor, it goes off message and the dialogue is weak. Third, Torren’s daughter and the Prisoner start to get to know each other, but the development is incomplete, much is left hanging. And finally there are some phrases used in the text that do not sit on the olde world the author is trying to create. One that stuck out was ‘ticked off’ and there were several others.

So a reasonable start that would have benefitted from more words and development.

**Originally reviewed for Books & Pals blog. May have receive free review copy.**

[Curly Humility · Rating 4 out of 5]

Torren is in charge of a prisoner with untold power who can break jail at any moment, but chooses not to for his own unspoken reasons. Torren and his family will be killed or imprisoned in punishment if the monster changes his mind. The new Governor wants to make an inspection, and Torren needs to convince his prisoner to cooperate. The price is high.

This short story - or novelette, whatever you call 9,000-word fiction - is not well written. (Yet it gets 4/5 stars. Keep reading.) Modern words are used in a high fantasy setting, and many sentences have a juvenile ring to them that made me wonder if the author was a teen (she's not). While I did not catch any grammar or punctuation errors, a handsome feet for a self-pubbed work, there were interrobangs. One or two small lapses of logic intrude on the story. That's why it gets 4 stars instead of 5 stars. I truly wish the author had read more about the craft of writing and editing, because The Prisoner could be stunning. As it is, it is merely amazing.

The storyline is a strange concoction of tired plot points used in fresh ways with generous dashes of originality. The author had me connected to every single character, and I love the use of POV. It reached a level of excitement, tension, and involvement a story can take me to where I have to stop reading and come back later unless I want my chest to explode. Only a handful of books have ever taken me to that level.

If you want something to read and have $1.29 in change, The Prisoner is one of the best ways you can spend it.

[Jillian · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first in a series of three short stories told from the perspectives of a prisoner, a knight, and a king. All of these men (or elves, in the case of the prisoner) are embroiled in a web of conspiracy that connects them together, along with many other characters and circumstances. I have recently come across several examples of short stories that are not executed very well (I think inexperienced authors view them as "easy" because they are short, not realizing that, due to their brevity, they can in many ways be harder to write and organize than full-length novels), but this author executes these nicely despite the complications of how things tie together. I also enjoy the different "vantage points" of the story, as told through the eyes of each person. If you're looking for something fantasy-ish, well-written, and short, this would probably suffice, especially if you can listen to the audio version. Only disappointment for me is that the ending to the story as a whole is a little lacking. All of the nuances of the web are explained, as far as I can tell, but I wish more of the loose ends had been tied up about what happens to each character and how they go forward.

[Rhonda · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 STARS
This is a novella takes place around a Prisoner. The Warden is scared of him really bad. He makes the prisoner as comfortable as he can. But he is worried because of a visitor that is coming to check on the Prisoner.
He needs a favor from the Prisoner but the Prisoner demands a favor from him too.
I liked the slow steady build up to who the Prisoner is and why he acts the way he acts. I liked the characters.
I would read more of the Dark Elf Series in fact I will read book 2 of the Dark Elf Series next.
I was given this ebook to read in exchange of honest reviews from Librarything.

[Julie Baswell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very short story, but very intriguing. The prisoner is mentioned being an Elf but the story doesn't go into that. If fact, it doesn't even really tell you why he is a prisoner, except for stating that he is evil. Through the eyes of a young girl, he begins to see good. I would have liked the story to be longer because it was just getting interesting when it ended.

[Tessa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book because it was free. I loved the story and wish it was longer! With all the elf stuff out there, you'd think it would be hard to be unique, but this story was original. At least I haven't read anything else exactly like this.

[Bill Tillman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, you will be hooked after the first page. Such a powerful tale in so small a space. Excellent plot, character development, pace and a unexpected ending. A must read, 5 Stars.

[M Beal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. From the first page you are wondering who the prisoner is and what were his crimes. My only complaint is that it is a novella, under 10'000 words. It could be so much more.

[Gay · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting book, but was really short. It seemed to be a short story. I want to read the next one and hope some questions will be answered. It ended in a cliff hanger of sorts.