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How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm: And Other Adventures in Parenting
A tour of global practices that will inspire American parents to expand their horizons (and geographical borders) and learn that there’s more than one way to diaper a baby.
Mei-Ling Hopgood, a first-time mom from suburban Michigan—now living in Buenos Aires—was shocked that Argentine parents allow their children to stay up until all hours of the night. Could there really be social and developmental advantages to this custom? Driven by a journalist’s curiosity and a new mother’s desperation for answers, Hopgood embarked on a journey to learn how other cultures approach the challenges all parents bedtimes, potty training, feeding, teaching, and more.
Observing parents around the globe and interviewing anthropologists, educators, and child-care experts, she discovered a world of new ideas. The Chinese excel at potty training, teaching their wee ones as young as six months old. Kenyans wear their babies in colorful cloth slings—not only is it part of their cultural heritage, but strollers seem outright silly on Nairobi’s chaotic sidewalks. And the French are experts at turning their babies into healthy, adventurous eaters. Hopgood tested her discoveries on her spirited toddler, Sofia, with some enlightening results.
This intimate and surprising look at the ways other cultures raise children offers parents the option of experimenting with tried and true methods from around the world and shows that there are many ways to be a good parent.
Mei-Ling Hopgood, a first-time mom from suburban Michigan—now living in Buenos Aires—was shocked that Argentine parents allow their children to stay up until all hours of the night. Could there really be social and developmental advantages to this custom? Driven by a journalist’s curiosity and a new mother’s desperation for answers, Hopgood embarked on a journey to learn how other cultures approach the challenges all parents bedtimes, potty training, feeding, teaching, and more.
Observing parents around the globe and interviewing anthropologists, educators, and child-care experts, she discovered a world of new ideas. The Chinese excel at potty training, teaching their wee ones as young as six months old. Kenyans wear their babies in colorful cloth slings—not only is it part of their cultural heritage, but strollers seem outright silly on Nairobi’s chaotic sidewalks. And the French are experts at turning their babies into healthy, adventurous eaters. Hopgood tested her discoveries on her spirited toddler, Sofia, with some enlightening results.
This intimate and surprising look at the ways other cultures raise children offers parents the option of experimenting with tried and true methods from around the world and shows that there are many ways to be a good parent.
306 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2012
251 people are currently reading
2991 people want to read
About the author
Mei-Ling Hopgood
3 books25 followersMei-Ling Hopgood is an award-winning journalist who has written for the Detroit Free Press, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, National Geographic Traveler, and the Miami Herald, and has worked in the Cox Newspapers Washington bureau. She lives in Buenos Aires, Argentina, with her husband and their daughter. A newspaper feature she wrote for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch about the reunion with her birth family won a national award from the Asian American Journalists Association.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 420 reviews
September 22, 2012
Let me get this off my chest. She doesn't talk about Eskimos keeping anything warm. Everything else, maybe, but not Eskimos keeping babies warm.
The first couple of chapters were interesting, but she kind of lost me there once she started talking about Lebanese besties families, Tibetan spiritual pregnancies, Japanese fighting children, and Asian super students. It wasn't that I found the premises repellant so much as that I didn't see any compelling reason to care.
Potty training. THAT's a topic I can get behind.
However, I did have an epiphany while reading this book. Americans hate children. I don't mean the idea of children. They just hate looking at them, hearing them, thinking about them, helping them, or having anything to do with them as it is really just too much of a bother. The author did not say this. This is something I read between the lines. Being an American myself, yes, I can see that. Children are trouble, but a rational human being knows that without them, the human race is toast. Collectively raise them wrong and you can say good-bye to your social security check. Please, then, enjoy your winter years under a bridge.
But back to the book. The author lives in Buenos Aires for some reason and spends most of the book bemoaning how far she lives from her family. She married a fellow called Monte. There is talk of a nanny. It's possible I'm being shallow because I'm in a bad mood, but I cannot relate to these facts.
She also seems to be doing much of her research on the Internet. I seem to recall mention of marbles.com or some such thing. What isn't from Internet is kind of old. And I don't recall much reported about the effectiveness or practicality of the lifestyles of other cultures beyond "Welp, I tried it and failed miserably. Isn't that something?"
No. No, that is not something.
Anyway, I'm sure this book wasn't that bad, but I really am in a terrible mood as I am an American with a four month old and I haven't had a solid night's sleep for the better part of a year. I think I was expecting more of a "how-to" or thorough ethnographic explorations. What I got was some lady living an already more glamorous life than I do attempting to international up her two year old. Rich people (OH BUT CHILDCARE IS CHEAPER IN BRAZIL) dealing with their rich problems.
I want a nap. For 7 hours in a row.
What were we talking about?
The first couple of chapters were interesting, but she kind of lost me there once she started talking about Lebanese besties families, Tibetan spiritual pregnancies, Japanese fighting children, and Asian super students. It wasn't that I found the premises repellant so much as that I didn't see any compelling reason to care.
Potty training. THAT's a topic I can get behind.
However, I did have an epiphany while reading this book. Americans hate children. I don't mean the idea of children. They just hate looking at them, hearing them, thinking about them, helping them, or having anything to do with them as it is really just too much of a bother. The author did not say this. This is something I read between the lines. Being an American myself, yes, I can see that. Children are trouble, but a rational human being knows that without them, the human race is toast. Collectively raise them wrong and you can say good-bye to your social security check. Please, then, enjoy your winter years under a bridge.
But back to the book. The author lives in Buenos Aires for some reason and spends most of the book bemoaning how far she lives from her family. She married a fellow called Monte. There is talk of a nanny. It's possible I'm being shallow because I'm in a bad mood, but I cannot relate to these facts.
She also seems to be doing much of her research on the Internet. I seem to recall mention of marbles.com or some such thing. What isn't from Internet is kind of old. And I don't recall much reported about the effectiveness or practicality of the lifestyles of other cultures beyond "Welp, I tried it and failed miserably. Isn't that something?"
No. No, that is not something.
Anyway, I'm sure this book wasn't that bad, but I really am in a terrible mood as I am an American with a four month old and I haven't had a solid night's sleep for the better part of a year. I think I was expecting more of a "how-to" or thorough ethnographic explorations. What I got was some lady living an already more glamorous life than I do attempting to international up her two year old. Rich people (OH BUT CHILDCARE IS CHEAPER IN BRAZIL) dealing with their rich problems.
I want a nap. For 7 hours in a row.
What were we talking about?
January 2, 2013
When I first brought Isobel home, I was Googling or researching the answers to tons of questions I had. From the mundane to the POTENTIALLY LIFE-ALTERING, I was fearful that one wrong move would forever ruin my child in some way. Why was I so panicked? Other than the obvious (it’s natural and I think most women go through some anxiety at first), there has never been more scrutiny on parenthood—and mothers—in particular than there is right now. Part of the reason for this is that more women are making their decisions and their child-rearing very public. You may know more about a stranger’s views on parenting and child-rearing than the views of a best friend…or even those of a significant other. Thanks to Facebook, Twitter and blogs, there are more opportunities for parents to communicate and encourage one another, but there are just as many opportunities for judgment and peer pressure.
The culture (whether it’s overt or not) of there being a “better way” or a “worse way” when it comes to parenting decisions is exhausting to try and navigate. Disposable or cloth diapers? Breast-feeding or formula? Attachment parenting or not? Crib or bassinet or co-sleeper? The options—and the opportunities for judgment and peer pressure—are endless.
That’s why this book is so refreshing and wonderful. Hopgood, an American living in Argentina, begins to notice the cultural differences between bedtime/rest for Argentinian infants and American infants. From there, she explores several other cultures and their views on infant-rearing and everything in between. There’s very little “preachiness” happening and Hopgood doesn’t necessarily draw any conclusions that would break the majority-rules status quo of infant-rearing protocol here in the United States, but she does make a few inferences that I found interesting. First, she indirectly hints that many other countries hold their children to higher expectations than American infants or toddlers, and also suggests that several developmental milestones (potty training, for example) are delayed in the U.S. because we simply don’t expect that children are capable of potty training until a certain age. It’s an interesting point of view.
But, other than those view subtle items of note, Hopgood mostly keeps to an informative, light tone that ultimately helps to show that there is no one, perfect way to raise a child. Additionally, Hopgood doesn’t just do sideline research: she tests several of the tactics on her own daughter, meeting with equal parts success and failure. (She notes that she learns a great deal no matter the outcome each time.) I appreciated that Hopgood was willing to put her findings to the test, and she was honest when things didn’t work and when she felt that her way was better for daughter. There’s a lot of intuition and trial-and-error involved!
The culture (whether it’s overt or not) of there being a “better way” or a “worse way” when it comes to parenting decisions is exhausting to try and navigate. Disposable or cloth diapers? Breast-feeding or formula? Attachment parenting or not? Crib or bassinet or co-sleeper? The options—and the opportunities for judgment and peer pressure—are endless.
That’s why this book is so refreshing and wonderful. Hopgood, an American living in Argentina, begins to notice the cultural differences between bedtime/rest for Argentinian infants and American infants. From there, she explores several other cultures and their views on infant-rearing and everything in between. There’s very little “preachiness” happening and Hopgood doesn’t necessarily draw any conclusions that would break the majority-rules status quo of infant-rearing protocol here in the United States, but she does make a few inferences that I found interesting. First, she indirectly hints that many other countries hold their children to higher expectations than American infants or toddlers, and also suggests that several developmental milestones (potty training, for example) are delayed in the U.S. because we simply don’t expect that children are capable of potty training until a certain age. It’s an interesting point of view.
But, other than those view subtle items of note, Hopgood mostly keeps to an informative, light tone that ultimately helps to show that there is no one, perfect way to raise a child. Additionally, Hopgood doesn’t just do sideline research: she tests several of the tactics on her own daughter, meeting with equal parts success and failure. (She notes that she learns a great deal no matter the outcome each time.) I appreciated that Hopgood was willing to put her findings to the test, and she was honest when things didn’t work and when she felt that her way was better for daughter. There’s a lot of intuition and trial-and-error involved!
May 17, 2015
Overall this book was interesting for the information on parenting in other cultures. Some of it consists of new information (Ake fathers who allow their babies to "nurse" on them for comfort when mom's not around) and some explains familiar stereotypes (why so many Asians do well academically). I did have a few quibbles, however, one of which was sloppy proofreading (lots of small errors like "settling" when the word should have been "setting," etc).
Another is that the author seemed, in some cases, more content to complain than to try better solutions. For example, when she talks about her experiences with babywearing, she gives up on using a wrap because she didn't get the correct amount of material so she can't tie it tight enough (in my opinion wrapping is one of the hardest babywearing systems, despite having friends who swear by it, but give it a fair trial before saying it doesn't work for you) and just uses a "trusty sling [she'd] used when [her daughter] was a newborn" for her 2yo, 20+ pound child--and then complains about how uncomfortable it is, how heavy her daughter is, etc. The solution there is to use a carrier (a mei tai or soft structured carrier, such as an Ergo, would work very well--I wore my daughter in both until she was about 35 pounds) designed to hold a toddler rather than a newborn. Then the child is supported correctly and will be more comfortable (minimizing squirming, another of the author's complaints) and making mom more comfortable. Oh, and in case you're wondering how Eskimos keep their babies warm, they wear them in fur carriers next to their skin, so they share body heat. It's a very quick mention in the chapter on babywearing ("How Kenyans Live Without Strollers").
In another instance of complaining rather than trying other solutions, she talks about her adventures in early potty training (a la Chinese culture), which she was ultimately successful at, but she's talking about the disposable diapers they used and how her "green heart" quailed at the thought of throwing that much trash into landfills. So why not use cloth diapers? Or at least give them a try, if your heart is so green?
And my final quibble is that in talking about paternal involvement with children, she talks about what a great dad her husband and their contemporaries are, and lists off the things they do, including "babysit." Sorry, no. If it's his child, he's not babysitting, he's parenting--and the fact that the author uses the term "babysit" tells me that despite her protestations to the contrary she feels like mothers are better/more natural parents than fathers.
Another is that the author seemed, in some cases, more content to complain than to try better solutions. For example, when she talks about her experiences with babywearing, she gives up on using a wrap because she didn't get the correct amount of material so she can't tie it tight enough (in my opinion wrapping is one of the hardest babywearing systems, despite having friends who swear by it, but give it a fair trial before saying it doesn't work for you) and just uses a "trusty sling [she'd] used when [her daughter] was a newborn" for her 2yo, 20+ pound child--and then complains about how uncomfortable it is, how heavy her daughter is, etc. The solution there is to use a carrier (a mei tai or soft structured carrier, such as an Ergo, would work very well--I wore my daughter in both until she was about 35 pounds) designed to hold a toddler rather than a newborn. Then the child is supported correctly and will be more comfortable (minimizing squirming, another of the author's complaints) and making mom more comfortable. Oh, and in case you're wondering how Eskimos keep their babies warm, they wear them in fur carriers next to their skin, so they share body heat. It's a very quick mention in the chapter on babywearing ("How Kenyans Live Without Strollers").
In another instance of complaining rather than trying other solutions, she talks about her adventures in early potty training (a la Chinese culture), which she was ultimately successful at, but she's talking about the disposable diapers they used and how her "green heart" quailed at the thought of throwing that much trash into landfills. So why not use cloth diapers? Or at least give them a try, if your heart is so green?
And my final quibble is that in talking about paternal involvement with children, she talks about what a great dad her husband and their contemporaries are, and lists off the things they do, including "babysit." Sorry, no. If it's his child, he's not babysitting, he's parenting--and the fact that the author uses the term "babysit" tells me that despite her protestations to the contrary she feels like mothers are better/more natural parents than fathers.
June 4, 2012
This might be my favorite parenting book because it's *not* really a parenting book. There's no "approach," no failsafe method, no guarantee that if you do X,Y,Z your problems will be solved. Instead, it's a reality check that parents need to do what works best for them, their family, and their place in their community/society. And that sometimes what works best for one family won't be what works best for others -- and that's OK. Because there are lots of good paths to successful parenting and really the only successful approach is to do what works for your family given the context in which you're raising your children.
I loved the author's writing style. I loved her research and the sample countries she chose to illustrate various practices. This book was part anthropology, part culture studies, and part parenting options -- not advice, but options. I loved that she tried things that are the norm in other cultures and that sometimes they worked for her (letting her daughter stay up late) and sometimes they didn't (trying to survive without a stroller). And I appreciated that sometimes she didn't bother to try things from other cultures because what she was doing was working for her, but she wrote about them anyway because they're interesting (a culture of Pygmies in Africa where men do 47% of the childcare for nursing infants! How cool!).
I think this book gives great perspective to parents who feel like they're "doing it wrong" because they're not doing what all their friends or family are doing. And it provides options for people who feel like the approach they see everyone else doing isn't working for them. There are no recommendations, no rules, just a bunch of suggestions and an openness to finding the best answer for one's own family. Plus, it's just interesting to read about all sorts of different things people around the world consider commonplace when they're raising children.
This book would make a great gift to a new parent because it's interesting and useful without advocating for a particular parenting approach (that the new parents might not like).
I loved the author's writing style. I loved her research and the sample countries she chose to illustrate various practices. This book was part anthropology, part culture studies, and part parenting options -- not advice, but options. I loved that she tried things that are the norm in other cultures and that sometimes they worked for her (letting her daughter stay up late) and sometimes they didn't (trying to survive without a stroller). And I appreciated that sometimes she didn't bother to try things from other cultures because what she was doing was working for her, but she wrote about them anyway because they're interesting (a culture of Pygmies in Africa where men do 47% of the childcare for nursing infants! How cool!).
I think this book gives great perspective to parents who feel like they're "doing it wrong" because they're not doing what all their friends or family are doing. And it provides options for people who feel like the approach they see everyone else doing isn't working for them. There are no recommendations, no rules, just a bunch of suggestions and an openness to finding the best answer for one's own family. Plus, it's just interesting to read about all sorts of different things people around the world consider commonplace when they're raising children.
This book would make a great gift to a new parent because it's interesting and useful without advocating for a particular parenting approach (that the new parents might not like).
March 4, 2012
You'll Have Fun with Mei-Ling Hopgood as Your Global Guide to Parenting
Mei-Ling Hopgood is a top journalist who now teaches at the prestigious Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University. For her readers, that means she's a lifelong storyteller, which you'll discover immediately when you dip into this wonderful book of real-life stories that circle the globe.
She is famous in her own right. Born in Taiwan and adopted by an American family at an early age, the bittersweet story of her reunion with her Taiwanese family as an adult appears in her earlier book, Lucky Girl. For most of her early life, Mei-Ling was a typical American: She grew up as a smart, enthusiastic Midwest school kid and even got a spot on her high school pom pom squad. When she became a journalist, her award-winning work appeared in newspapers and magazines nationwide. Before moving with her husband and children to the Chicago area recently, they lived for years in Buenos Aires. Given her global wealth of family experiences, Mei-Ling was fascinated by the vast differences in parenting choices as she circled the planet.
She was completing her new book, How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm, while two other controversial best sellers in this niche were making headlines and burning up websites: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. Given Mei-Ling's background as a journalist, always seeking accuracy and balance, it's not surprising that Mei-Ling's book on global parenting now is widely compared by reviewers to Tiger and Bebe as -- the kinder, gentler book in this trio. Or, as Mei-Ling herself puts it in the conclusion of her book:
"I've reached a pretty optimistic conclusion after observing the adaptability and resilience of families in many circumstances and environments. Despite vast differences in beliefs, religion and culture, moms, dads and caregivers in most societies share a common desire: to raise children who can thrive in the reality in which they live. While no culture can claim to be the best at any one given aspect of parenting, each has its own gems of wisdom to add to the discussion."
If you've read Tiger and Bebe, then you know that viewpoint marks Mei-Ling's book as a distinctively different voice. As a parent and a long-time journalist myself, I was struck by how much fun I had flipping the pages of her new book. Among her journalistic talents, Mei-Ling has an eye for overall pacing, which means delivering those special gems that she promises at regular intervals to keep readers flipping page after page. Among those gems are little sections between chapters that might be described as fun facts. If you're drawn to this book, it's because you want to discover a whole Noah's ark of fascinating stories about kids and their parents from all corners of the world. Mei-Ling understands that desire and delivers regular doses of gee-whiz, real-life stories.
Lucky Girl
Mei-Ling Hopgood is a top journalist who now teaches at the prestigious Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University. For her readers, that means she's a lifelong storyteller, which you'll discover immediately when you dip into this wonderful book of real-life stories that circle the globe.
She is famous in her own right. Born in Taiwan and adopted by an American family at an early age, the bittersweet story of her reunion with her Taiwanese family as an adult appears in her earlier book, Lucky Girl. For most of her early life, Mei-Ling was a typical American: She grew up as a smart, enthusiastic Midwest school kid and even got a spot on her high school pom pom squad. When she became a journalist, her award-winning work appeared in newspapers and magazines nationwide. Before moving with her husband and children to the Chicago area recently, they lived for years in Buenos Aires. Given her global wealth of family experiences, Mei-Ling was fascinated by the vast differences in parenting choices as she circled the planet.
She was completing her new book, How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm, while two other controversial best sellers in this niche were making headlines and burning up websites: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. Given Mei-Ling's background as a journalist, always seeking accuracy and balance, it's not surprising that Mei-Ling's book on global parenting now is widely compared by reviewers to Tiger and Bebe as -- the kinder, gentler book in this trio. Or, as Mei-Ling herself puts it in the conclusion of her book:
"I've reached a pretty optimistic conclusion after observing the adaptability and resilience of families in many circumstances and environments. Despite vast differences in beliefs, religion and culture, moms, dads and caregivers in most societies share a common desire: to raise children who can thrive in the reality in which they live. While no culture can claim to be the best at any one given aspect of parenting, each has its own gems of wisdom to add to the discussion."
If you've read Tiger and Bebe, then you know that viewpoint marks Mei-Ling's book as a distinctively different voice. As a parent and a long-time journalist myself, I was struck by how much fun I had flipping the pages of her new book. Among her journalistic talents, Mei-Ling has an eye for overall pacing, which means delivering those special gems that she promises at regular intervals to keep readers flipping page after page. Among those gems are little sections between chapters that might be described as fun facts. If you're drawn to this book, it's because you want to discover a whole Noah's ark of fascinating stories about kids and their parents from all corners of the world. Mei-Ling understands that desire and delivers regular doses of gee-whiz, real-life stories.
Lucky Girl
March 13, 2024
3.5 stars, rounded to 4
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs we ever do. Every decision you make, every fork in the road of life, will set your child on a course that might prove to be less than perfect, and we parents founder in an ocean of angst over the possibility of failing our little darlings. At least, with the first child! That's the period when young moms are poring over books for the latest expert advice. Mei-Ling Hopgood is no exception, but her worries were increased by living a multicultural lifestyle, which led to this book.
The author was adopted and raised in an American household, and developed a relationship with her Chinese birth family as an adult, so she already had two cultures tugging on her sleeves when she gave birth to her daughter while living in Brazil, and things were done yet a third way in that country. Realizing many methods of child-rearing are more a matter of culture than actual proof of right or wrong ways of doing things, she decided to embrace the local ways, but segued the experience into a book. Chapters cover bedtimes, food, transport, potty training, discipline, interaction between kids, chores, play, education, extended family, fatherhood, and pregnancy. Each is associated with a country or culture that has a standard differing from what is common in the US. She draws on lots of sociology studies and research by the so-called parenting experts, as well as surveys of parents, and other published material, and she cites sources. She readily shared her own issues and talks about trying some of these "foreign" methods out on her daughter, Sofia. A wide variety of attitudes was represented, some educated and modern, some tribal and primitive, and I felt she presented them with very little bias; this is more of an exploration. She approached the whole endeavor with an open mind.
Will you be swayed by any of the ideas covered? Who knows? I related to the things I felt were most like my own experience, and some things were automatically dispensable. I'm sure that is the case with any parenting book you read; it certainly was when I was a young parent, and it feels equally so now that I'm a grandmom. But it was a pleasant book, and I was never bored.
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs we ever do. Every decision you make, every fork in the road of life, will set your child on a course that might prove to be less than perfect, and we parents founder in an ocean of angst over the possibility of failing our little darlings. At least, with the first child! That's the period when young moms are poring over books for the latest expert advice. Mei-Ling Hopgood is no exception, but her worries were increased by living a multicultural lifestyle, which led to this book.
The author was adopted and raised in an American household, and developed a relationship with her Chinese birth family as an adult, so she already had two cultures tugging on her sleeves when she gave birth to her daughter while living in Brazil, and things were done yet a third way in that country. Realizing many methods of child-rearing are more a matter of culture than actual proof of right or wrong ways of doing things, she decided to embrace the local ways, but segued the experience into a book. Chapters cover bedtimes, food, transport, potty training, discipline, interaction between kids, chores, play, education, extended family, fatherhood, and pregnancy. Each is associated with a country or culture that has a standard differing from what is common in the US. She draws on lots of sociology studies and research by the so-called parenting experts, as well as surveys of parents, and other published material, and she cites sources. She readily shared her own issues and talks about trying some of these "foreign" methods out on her daughter, Sofia. A wide variety of attitudes was represented, some educated and modern, some tribal and primitive, and I felt she presented them with very little bias; this is more of an exploration. She approached the whole endeavor with an open mind.
Will you be swayed by any of the ideas covered? Who knows? I related to the things I felt were most like my own experience, and some things were automatically dispensable. I'm sure that is the case with any parenting book you read; it certainly was when I was a young parent, and it feels equally so now that I'm a grandmom. But it was a pleasant book, and I was never bored.
September 15, 2012
Did you know babies don't have to wear diapers until they are 3?? Or that you can carry them in a sling instead of lugging around a giant stroller?? Besides reading like a book report on Anthropology of Childhood, and the fact that it is chock-full of typos and other mistakes, this book might interest current or potential parents who have never read anything about different cultures or children ever. Hopgood tries to make the book more interesting by integrating different ideas and practices she reads about into her more mainstream style of parenting, then notes how quaint it was and how it is really great that people do things differently all around the world. I don't know why, but her writing style and approach to this book really irked me. Maybe because she can't help but come across as morally superior and vaguely condescending. The information is interesting, but I would probably recommend reading the primary research in the bibliography.
June 19, 2012
This is another book that could have been a lot shorter. It was sort of a pseudo-scientific piece on parenting practices around the world. It was interesting in that the author talked about her own experiences with different parenting practices in different countries, but then there was a lot of her looking at data that existed on whether these practices were beneficial or not and guess what, there hasn't been a lot of cross-cultural parenting research. I'm not
really sure how you would even design a study to determine if practices in one country were more beneficial than in another country. So, you are left with opinion. So this book was basically her opinion of different parenting practices in different countries, but pretending to be cloaked in a scientific study. I am just mad that I actually read the book instead of figuring all this out from the title.
really sure how you would even design a study to determine if practices in one country were more beneficial than in another country. So, you are left with opinion. So this book was basically her opinion of different parenting practices in different countries, but pretending to be cloaked in a scientific study. I am just mad that I actually read the book instead of figuring all this out from the title.
March 1, 2016
I live for the kinds of cultural anthropology nuggets that fill this book. Learning about how other people live is fascinating and satisfying. And inspiring when they are little global parenting nuggets that make me rethink my mothering routine. (This book is in desperate need of a good copy editor though.)
August 15, 2017
I have owned this book for years and I actually got sick of seeing it on my shelves. It was kind of dull to be honest, it's about the author's experience of parenting and what she learned from other cultures. I think the problem is that I was expecting a more scientific look at parenting around the world but I got a kind of loose memoir with case studies. Not very interesting to say the least.
July 26, 2016
I tried really, really hard to finish this book and to like it. Books on sociology/anthropology are really fascinating to me as are books on child-raising because they both break down society through a lens that is meant to be as edifying and useful as possible. This book attempted to merge both parts and instead completely failed on both parts.
This writer is a journalist. She completely lacks the academic approach required to avoid taking cultures and distilling them into trite, feel-good paragraphs. Every culture she interacts with is overly generalized and romanticized with a few quick "oh but..." sentences tossed in regarding drawbacks.
The incorporation of her own child into every chapter was exhausting and unbearably self-centered. As much as I understand how the book is deeply intertwined with her own first-hand experience as a mother raising a child, her own anecdotes overwhelm the book and make it too focused about what the different cultures and child-raising customs do for her personally.
The bits of interesting information were sandwiched in between her own ideas and opinions about the information. This book reads as an elongated Reader's Digest article.
This writer is a journalist. She completely lacks the academic approach required to avoid taking cultures and distilling them into trite, feel-good paragraphs. Every culture she interacts with is overly generalized and romanticized with a few quick "oh but..." sentences tossed in regarding drawbacks.
The incorporation of her own child into every chapter was exhausting and unbearably self-centered. As much as I understand how the book is deeply intertwined with her own first-hand experience as a mother raising a child, her own anecdotes overwhelm the book and make it too focused about what the different cultures and child-raising customs do for her personally.
The bits of interesting information were sandwiched in between her own ideas and opinions about the information. This book reads as an elongated Reader's Digest article.
November 11, 2017
An interesting look at non-American parenting practices that made me question why we assume one way is the right way, when clearly it's better to be open minded and consider that other practices and traditions may be just as good or even better.
September 22, 2015
Spicuiri din recenzia finala care se gaseste pe blogul meu
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Cartea de faţă este arhicunoscuta How Eskimos keep their Babies Warm: and other Adventures in Parenting. O grozavă mişcare de marketing a făcut titlul de nerecunocut în limba română, lucru care putea să îmi spună încă de la început (dar nu a făcut-o) că editura Philobia a dat iarăşi cu bâta în baltă.
Ce-i drept este că habar nu am How Eskimos keep their Babies Warm pentru că nu am apucat să termin de citit cartea întrucât după două capitole am aruncat-o la gunoi. Vă rog, dacă ştiţi cum fac eschimoşii treaba asta, să îmi spuneţi şi mie!
Dar să vedem ce face autoarea: caută sau găseşte prin lume, în călătoriile ei, modele de comportament şi de educare a copiilor particulare anumitor zone şi care s-au dezvoltat ca şi consecinţă a condiţiilor de trai şi naturale specifice zonelor. Ceea ce face ea mai departe este să aplice propriului copil aceste noi informaţii, fără a ţine cont de faptul că propriul copil nu este kenyan, nu este chinez şi nici francez. Practic, ni se pune pe masă diversitatea culturală, antropologică şi civilizatională pentru ca apoi să ni se spună să o igorăm întru totul. Locuitorii din Buenos Aires se pare că îşi ţin copiii cu ei până la ore înaintate întrucât se pare că populaţia Argentinei (spune autoarea) provine, în majoritate, din spaniolii şi italienii care la sfârşitul sec XIX – începutul sec XX au adus cu ei obiceiurile sud mediteraneene de a cina după apus din pricina soarelui dogoritor. Grozav! Haideţi cu toţii din Siberia şi până la Ecuator să ne ţinem copiii în picioare la unşpe noaptea! Au Kenyenii toate drumurile găurite şi nu pot merge cu căruciorul (sau maşina)? Grozav! Să mergem şi noi pe jos pe autostradă cu un copil de doi ani legat de gât!
Whatever… Am supravietuit capitolului despre Buenos Aires numai pentru a citi cum îşi învaţă chinezii copiii să folosească oliţa mai devreme şi de ce. Motivul e, de fapt, simplu. Pentru că cei din zona cercetată sunt extrem de săraci şi nu pot nici măcar să folosească scutece vechi, de-ale copiilor mai mari, pentru că nici acelea nu sunt suficiente şi se deteriorează iremediabil în scurt timp. Nu m-aş mira ca aceşti copii să dezvolte mai devreme controlul musculaturii sfincteriene pentru a se adapta la condiţiile de trai moştenite de secole. Dar ce trebuie să facem noi? Simplu! Să ne dresăm copilul să stea pe oliţă de la 3 luni! Desigur, nici irosirea scutecelor doar pentru că astăzi ne permitem asta nu este o opţiune. Dar să vedem de ce crede autoarea că trebuie să ne dresăm copiii:
„Să aştepţi până când copilul este pregătit poate fi destul de costisitor financiar, chiar complet absurd“
Evident, cu această frază grozavă, aş fi putut zvârli cartea pe geam. Adică, dacă e prea scump, pot să nu respect dezvoltarea naturală a copilului. Bineee… Am continuat să citesc:
„TOTUŞI mulţi pediatri americani specialişti în dezvoltarea copilului, ca de altfel numeroşi părinţi preferă să adopte o viziune centrată pe copil, explicând că este nevoie să aştepţi până când copilul este pregătit fizic şi psihic pentru o astfel de schimbare. Cel mai des întâlnit sfat în ziua de astăzi este că un copil nu trebuie antrenat să facă la oliţă mai devreme de un an şi jumătate, de preferinţă între doi şi patru ani, chiar mai mult“. Pai da, nu e evident? Ce avem de discutat aici? Ba mai mult „Binecunoscutul pediatru T. Berry Brazelton este convins că e mai bine să aştepţi «am constatat că amânarea antrenamentului (până când copilul se poate controla şi poate coopera în acest proces) conduce la evitarea unor complicaţii precum enuresis, constipaţie, murdărie, aruncatul cu fecale de jur împrejur, a declarat el într-un interviu. Când îi permitem copilului să îşi supravegheze propriul antrenament, va avea sentimentul că a făcut totul singur. Este o sursă importantă de încredere în sine. Nu mi se pare că societatea se transformă. Modelele de antrenament timpuriu nu au funcţionat şi nu cred că vor funcţiona prea curând»“. Evident! Dar să mai vedem ce zic unii „Un studiu efectuat în 2010 asupra copiilor americani de către Spitalul de Copii Bristol-Myers Squibb a consemnat că intervalul dintre doi ani şi doi ani şi jumătate este cel mai eficient pentru deprinderea obiceiului“.
Daaaarrr, zice autoarea, mai sunt şi păreri opuse. Să le auzim:
„Psiholoaga Linda Sonna, autoarea mai multor cărţi despre îngrijirea copilului consideră că un moment bun pentru a începe antrenamentul este între şase luni şi un an. Asta nu înseamnă, oare, o presiune asupra copilului de a face ceva ce nu este încă pregătit să facă sau nu are abilitatea de a face? Am întrebat-o eu. La care Sonna mi-a răspuns făcând următoarea comparaţie: dacă afară e frig şi un copil de doi ani refuză să-şi pună pe el haina, părinţii îl vor obliga să şi-o pună“. WTF??????? Ce comparaţie mai e şi asta şi cum a învăţat această „psiholoagă“ analogia la târgul de oale? Dacă afară e frig e bine pentru copil să-şi pună haina pe el şi, mai mult, e capabil şi pregătit să poarte o haină. Dacă are un an, nu e bine pentru copil să stea pe oliţă, ba mai mult, nu e nici capabil şi nici pregătit să o facă. Nu există pur şi simplu nici o asemănare între cele două situaţii.
Mai pomenesc, în treacăt, că traducerea foloseşte cuvinte mizerabile şi nepotrivite şi să recunosc că am dat nota 1 acestei cărţi în ciuda faptului că, aşa cum spuneam, abia dacă am putut citi un sfert din ea.
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Cartea de faţă este arhicunoscuta How Eskimos keep their Babies Warm: and other Adventures in Parenting. O grozavă mişcare de marketing a făcut titlul de nerecunocut în limba română, lucru care putea să îmi spună încă de la început (dar nu a făcut-o) că editura Philobia a dat iarăşi cu bâta în baltă.
Ce-i drept este că habar nu am How Eskimos keep their Babies Warm pentru că nu am apucat să termin de citit cartea întrucât după două capitole am aruncat-o la gunoi. Vă rog, dacă ştiţi cum fac eschimoşii treaba asta, să îmi spuneţi şi mie!
Dar să vedem ce face autoarea: caută sau găseşte prin lume, în călătoriile ei, modele de comportament şi de educare a copiilor particulare anumitor zone şi care s-au dezvoltat ca şi consecinţă a condiţiilor de trai şi naturale specifice zonelor. Ceea ce face ea mai departe este să aplice propriului copil aceste noi informaţii, fără a ţine cont de faptul că propriul copil nu este kenyan, nu este chinez şi nici francez. Practic, ni se pune pe masă diversitatea culturală, antropologică şi civilizatională pentru ca apoi să ni se spună să o igorăm întru totul. Locuitorii din Buenos Aires se pare că îşi ţin copiii cu ei până la ore înaintate întrucât se pare că populaţia Argentinei (spune autoarea) provine, în majoritate, din spaniolii şi italienii care la sfârşitul sec XIX – începutul sec XX au adus cu ei obiceiurile sud mediteraneene de a cina după apus din pricina soarelui dogoritor. Grozav! Haideţi cu toţii din Siberia şi până la Ecuator să ne ţinem copiii în picioare la unşpe noaptea! Au Kenyenii toate drumurile găurite şi nu pot merge cu căruciorul (sau maşina)? Grozav! Să mergem şi noi pe jos pe autostradă cu un copil de doi ani legat de gât!
Whatever… Am supravietuit capitolului despre Buenos Aires numai pentru a citi cum îşi învaţă chinezii copiii să folosească oliţa mai devreme şi de ce. Motivul e, de fapt, simplu. Pentru că cei din zona cercetată sunt extrem de săraci şi nu pot nici măcar să folosească scutece vechi, de-ale copiilor mai mari, pentru că nici acelea nu sunt suficiente şi se deteriorează iremediabil în scurt timp. Nu m-aş mira ca aceşti copii să dezvolte mai devreme controlul musculaturii sfincteriene pentru a se adapta la condiţiile de trai moştenite de secole. Dar ce trebuie să facem noi? Simplu! Să ne dresăm copilul să stea pe oliţă de la 3 luni! Desigur, nici irosirea scutecelor doar pentru că astăzi ne permitem asta nu este o opţiune. Dar să vedem de ce crede autoarea că trebuie să ne dresăm copiii:
„Să aştepţi până când copilul este pregătit poate fi destul de costisitor financiar, chiar complet absurd“
Evident, cu această frază grozavă, aş fi putut zvârli cartea pe geam. Adică, dacă e prea scump, pot să nu respect dezvoltarea naturală a copilului. Bineee… Am continuat să citesc:
„TOTUŞI mulţi pediatri americani specialişti în dezvoltarea copilului, ca de altfel numeroşi părinţi preferă să adopte o viziune centrată pe copil, explicând că este nevoie să aştepţi până când copilul este pregătit fizic şi psihic pentru o astfel de schimbare. Cel mai des întâlnit sfat în ziua de astăzi este că un copil nu trebuie antrenat să facă la oliţă mai devreme de un an şi jumătate, de preferinţă între doi şi patru ani, chiar mai mult“. Pai da, nu e evident? Ce avem de discutat aici? Ba mai mult „Binecunoscutul pediatru T. Berry Brazelton este convins că e mai bine să aştepţi «am constatat că amânarea antrenamentului (până când copilul se poate controla şi poate coopera în acest proces) conduce la evitarea unor complicaţii precum enuresis, constipaţie, murdărie, aruncatul cu fecale de jur împrejur, a declarat el într-un interviu. Când îi permitem copilului să îşi supravegheze propriul antrenament, va avea sentimentul că a făcut totul singur. Este o sursă importantă de încredere în sine. Nu mi se pare că societatea se transformă. Modelele de antrenament timpuriu nu au funcţionat şi nu cred că vor funcţiona prea curând»“. Evident! Dar să mai vedem ce zic unii „Un studiu efectuat în 2010 asupra copiilor americani de către Spitalul de Copii Bristol-Myers Squibb a consemnat că intervalul dintre doi ani şi doi ani şi jumătate este cel mai eficient pentru deprinderea obiceiului“.
Daaaarrr, zice autoarea, mai sunt şi păreri opuse. Să le auzim:
„Psiholoaga Linda Sonna, autoarea mai multor cărţi despre îngrijirea copilului consideră că un moment bun pentru a începe antrenamentul este între şase luni şi un an. Asta nu înseamnă, oare, o presiune asupra copilului de a face ceva ce nu este încă pregătit să facă sau nu are abilitatea de a face? Am întrebat-o eu. La care Sonna mi-a răspuns făcând următoarea comparaţie: dacă afară e frig şi un copil de doi ani refuză să-şi pună pe el haina, părinţii îl vor obliga să şi-o pună“. WTF??????? Ce comparaţie mai e şi asta şi cum a învăţat această „psiholoagă“ analogia la târgul de oale? Dacă afară e frig e bine pentru copil să-şi pună haina pe el şi, mai mult, e capabil şi pregătit să poarte o haină. Dacă are un an, nu e bine pentru copil să stea pe oliţă, ba mai mult, nu e nici capabil şi nici pregătit să o facă. Nu există pur şi simplu nici o asemănare între cele două situaţii.
Mai pomenesc, în treacăt, că traducerea foloseşte cuvinte mizerabile şi nepotrivite şi să recunosc că am dat nota 1 acestei cărţi în ciuda faptului că, aşa cum spuneam, abia dacă am putut citi un sfert din ea.
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April 10, 2023
I need to not raise children in America basically
April 10, 2013
Great overview of many child-rearing customs from around the world, some of which on first reading, I thought 'wow, how strange!'. I read 'Bringing up Bebe' a while back, and before that I never thought of how I parent as particularly 'American', I thought it was just 'parenting', but after reading that one, it was clear how 'American' some of my ideas on parenting are. This book gives examples of many of parenting styles, which differ greatly from what we see here often. I agree with the author, that we can learn a lot from incorporating pieces from various other styles. I think there's a lot of arguing here in the US, about what's the 'best' parenting style, but I've always agreed with the premise of this book-there's many, and they're all good, in their own way, there is no single best way. I learned a lot about the benefits of parenting in the ways that other cultures do, and I think I'll try to incorporate some into my own parenting(incorporating more work in my kids' daily lives, letting my kids learn to fight it out to some degree), and some I won't(not that I have any infants, but if I did, I still wouldn't be putting them into split-crotched pants to potty train them early), but it was interesting to read about, and some would be great, but just not possible for where we are (raising kids with the extended family all participating).
March 8, 2017
In the click-through world of online marketing, sensationalist headlines and fueling the "mommy wars" are the order of the day. I for one am sick of, "You'll never believe what these moms do to their babies!" Especially because 1) Nobody's getting hurt, 2) It's usually normal and understandable in their cultural context, and 3) Someone else can make different decisions from me without them being an indictment of my parenting.
Hopgood says there are many right ways to parent. AMEN. This book is an exploration of what that looks like globally. How do different cultures approach the universals of work, play, food, elimination, and sleep? Hopgood's treatment of global parenting is interesting, respectful, and light. Heck, this is probably less controversial than What to Expect the First Year, and it's considerably more fun to read.
Hopgood says there are many right ways to parent. AMEN. This book is an exploration of what that looks like globally. How do different cultures approach the universals of work, play, food, elimination, and sleep? Hopgood's treatment of global parenting is interesting, respectful, and light. Heck, this is probably less controversial than What to Expect the First Year, and it's considerably more fun to read.
January 16, 2023
The book does not seek to instruct, but to inform. As such it does an excellent job at challenging cultural preconceptions. Are strollers a necessity, or can it also be good for children to be strapped onto the parent's front, back, or side? Do babies need baby food? Are sleep schedules necessary? Do babies need a dark, quiet place to sleep, or can they learn to sleep wherever they happen to be? Is it right to intervene early when we see children squabble? Have we made pregnancy such a clinical entity that we are lost to its joys and wonders? To what degree can children enjoy working around the house from an early age and be taught that they are useful members of the family? Such and other preconceptions are challenged, but the author makes no claim that our society needs to change - only that we should broaden our minds to possibilities beyond what is common in our culture. As such she does an excellent job. It may not change how the reader chooses to raise their kids, but will if nothing else show them how resilient and adaptable children are so that parents can worry less.
December 27, 2022
This book is not bad - each chapter presents some baby-rearing technique from around the world that differs from the way mainstream Americans bring up their children nowadays. There are some interesting bits, like how Kenyans carry their babies in slings until they become mobile on their own, how Buenos Aires babies stay up late, and how Chinese potty-train their kids. There are, however, a number of problems with the book. For one, the above are not as amazing as they sound: Kenyans don't use prams because their broken roads don't allow it; Buenos Aires babies are both welcome out late by society, and sleep in late in the mornings because everything starts later than the Western standard; and rural Chinese potty-train their kids early by giving them open trousers, allowing them to go to the toilet wherever they happen to be. None of these three are really practical for the average European, let's say. The research is a little superficial, not very structured, and provides no techniques or studies on how to implement any of this, so the book is also in no way a guide for parents, but a simple, enjoyable read. It also tells us very little about Eskimos keeping their babies warm.
February 20, 2019
I started reading this book SEVERAL years ago, shortly after finishing Bringing up Bebe. I had appreciated the cultural comparisons in that book and this one seemed similar.
I was never able to get through it (got about 50% of the way) because the book was just so DULL compared to BuB. So I put it aside but figured it might be a good “stress-free” read in the future.
2019 thy name is stress, so I picked the book back up. Unfortunately, a lot of that stress is around fertility issues, so this may not have been the way to go. But even with that baggage, I just found her chapters dull and lifeless. I never felt like I was sold on why these different parenting practices work in the disparate cultures, so the book feels more just like a bored new mom compiling her friends’ stories into a book. And hearing stories about your friends’ friends is NEVER interesting.
I was never able to get through it (got about 50% of the way) because the book was just so DULL compared to BuB. So I put it aside but figured it might be a good “stress-free” read in the future.
2019 thy name is stress, so I picked the book back up. Unfortunately, a lot of that stress is around fertility issues, so this may not have been the way to go. But even with that baggage, I just found her chapters dull and lifeless. I never felt like I was sold on why these different parenting practices work in the disparate cultures, so the book feels more just like a bored new mom compiling her friends’ stories into a book. And hearing stories about your friends’ friends is NEVER interesting.
April 14, 2022
I loooooved this book! It's so rare to read a 'parenting' book that's so non-judgemental. I found the content really interesting and I loved the author's approach of trying and seeing how each method goes without judgement. The book includes a lot of personal anecdotes from the author so if that's not your cup of tea you're probably going to hate it, but for me I found it really helpful to normalise the whole thing. Would definitely recommend this one to any parent of kids under two (the advice becomes less useful after that age) or for anyone interested in childcare and development around the world.
January 5, 2019
I love reading about cross-cultural parenting differences, and the ones I’ve read before were more specific to one culture (Achtung Baby about Germany comes to mind, and maybe I read a Scandinavia-focused one?). This one is a broader look at concepts from different cultures all over the globe, so I appreciated the variety of viewpoints/experiences.
November 26, 2018
Not tremendously interesting or compelling, but there are some memorable tidbits in here about how widely parenting varies around the world (I did not know, for instance, how early the Chinese tend to potty-train). But overall, somewhat dull.
March 17, 2019
A fun read - I especially enjoyed the Chinese potty training bit and the Argentinian late nights. We get very stuck in our own cultural bubbles and I find it fascinating to read about how people parent all around the world. Onward!
April 11, 2021
Hard meh. I tried real hard to like this book and to finish it, because the premise is so interesting, but it turned out to be quite vanilla, and the author kept doing this annoying thing where’d she’d interject her own parenting experiences into the mix, when I truly do not care and really just wish she’d stick to the sociological/anthropological study which the book is supposed to be about.
November 4, 2020
Changing diapers isn’t as bad as I expected but the idea that you can potty train babies way earlier than we do in the US is intriguing...
December 8, 2022
Mind opening! There is no right way to parent, such beautiful examples from all over the world that completely shifted my viewpoint
September 7, 2021
Super interesting! I enjoy learning about different cultures + parenting styles so this was a win-win for me.
September 26, 2022
Perfectly fine book that was similar to hunt gather parent, exploring the ways different cultures parent. I think hunt gather parent was better researched and more comprehensive. Overall, it’s always nice to be reassured there are lots of ways to raise kids.
November 2, 2023
Interesting view on what each culture does best for parenting—definitely inspired to potty train like the Chinese!
October 14, 2019
A little trite, a little navel-gazing, but this isn’t superficial and was definitely a breezy read that I enjoyed overall.
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