Uit liefde

by Sue Miller

Lottie Gardner, die getrouwd is met een man met wie zij eerst jarenlang een verhouding had, verblijft tijdelijk in het huis van haar moeder, samen met haar broer Cameron en hun vroegere buurmeisje Elizabeth. Deze drie scherp getekende karakters spelen de hoofdrol in ontroerende taferelen, wanneer zij vóór alles geconfronteerd worden met de drijfkracht achter het bestaan: de liefde.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Novels, Chick Lit, Literary Fiction, Womens Fiction, Audiobook

272 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 1993

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

Sue Miller is an American novelist and short story writer who has written a number of best-selling novels. She graduated from Radcliffe College.

Reviews

[Joe · Rating 1 out of 5]

For Love, oh I loathe thee. I understand that Ms Miller is a fine writer. Than why would she waste her talent and squandor it on this predictable and overwrought tale of lost love and lost innoncence. Overly reflective to the point where halfway through the book, you expect the author to be standing outside your door with a rubber mallet waiting to beat you over the head while yelling "Reflect? Reflect!" Yes, it's that good.

[Kricket · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've enjoyed Sue Miller in the past, and I still enjoy her ability to weave intriguing stories. This one starts in medias res, and goes back and forth. Flashbacks are common in Miller's books, but it was only when I was reading this one that they actually started driving me nuts. The main character, Lottie, is often found sitting on her back stoop, or driving, and then, inevitably, flashing back. And then startling back to the present again because of a noise in the kitchen or something.

Lottie is a writer who is attempting to write an article on the emotion of love, and the novel examines several different kinds of love: marital love, passionate-affair love (loving someone you know you can't have) and the love of parents for their children. It was an intricately woven story with quite a bit to say about love. But there's a lot of fighting, intense conversation, and bizarre sexual dynamics. And there's this endless part where Lottie has a monster toothache- which seems to be some kind of symbolism for something or other- and is driving across the country on strong pain killers. ICK. The whole thing was overly dramatic for my personal taste. And entirely humorless.

[Kami · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written compelling story about class and money, about the complexities of childhood friendships, and finally (of course) about what love is and the difference between the sparkly obsession of wanting a love you know you can't have and a steady but less sparkly love. This story resonated with me on many levels -- I have known so many Elizabeths: privileged, entitled, upper crusties who like to dabble with "downtown" boys but look their nose down at all of them. I liked Lottie. She has her flaws for sure but Miller is so so honest with her (and really all the characters) you feel like you know them. A great read with some deep insights.

[Lee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have enjoyed just about every Sue Miller book I've read but this one, not so much. While she does provide her usual in-depth character development, I thought they were rather narcissistic not very like able. The book is divided into three parts. Part one revolves around a disastrous life altering event and the rest of the book works to explain how the involvement of each of the characters relates to this event. Part two is spent reminiscing about the miserable childhood Lottie and her brother experienced along with their "so called" friend, Elizabeth. More than once I almost abandoned the book in part two. Part three escalates to a violent unhappy confrontation between some of the main (and not so main) characters but there is never a satisfactory resolution (with the only exception being that Lottie makes it clear that she will no longer tolerate or be in contact with the sniveling Elizabeth). I just got the feeling that Lottie and Cam were never going to learn from and evolve from their past unhappiness. For me, not a very satisfy on book.

[Teddy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sue Miller holds nothing back in getting to the deeper aspects of relationships in this book that earns the honorable category of excellent chick lit. True to form, she exposes issues layer by layer as we learn about Lottie, her marriage, her family, and the recent changes in her life. As every detail is revealed, sometimes through the use of flashbacks (which I always thought were a no-no, but work perfectly here)and sometimes through the monologue of her own reflections on the events of the story, we come to understand and relate to this headstrong woman. Lottie's brother's vulnerability, her son's coming of age story, and her husband's lack of introspection about her plight are vividly portrayed through the dialogue and her own musings. Her reactions to those around her, present and past, are not always pretty or PC, but they are honest and she tells all - about her feelings, her sex life, her place in the world of her old neighborhood and her new one.

Miller describes neighborhoods, houses, and even Lottie's brother's apartment in a manner that somehow holds the reader's attention. Often one to skim through paragraphs such as these, I found myself mesmerized by them. They are integral to the story as is Lottie's profession as a writer. Glimpses into her methodology for researching and writing her articles were an added bonus.

Though the events of the story lead the reader to experience some uncomfortable feelings, all in all Miller succeeds in taking us through a messy time in a woman's life in a fashion that makes for an engrossing and enjoyable read.

[Emer Tannam · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book in the days immediately after I’d given birth to my second daughter, so I think it was pretty good, but I was also sleep-deprived, bleeding, leaking, and alternately euphoric and heartbroken. So who knows, really?

I will say that the book wasn’t enough to transport me from the reality of my situation, but does such a book exist?

It was good. All about relationships and feelings.

I didn’t love the main character but she was alright.

I found the book’s structure annoying at times, because the author tends to do a bit of unnecessary back and forthing. I can appreciate breaking up the chronology for dramatic effect, but sometimes she was going back just a few hours or days, and it didn’t add to the book.

So yeah, pretty good ? What day is it again ?

[Kathleen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this book years ago for a book club. I hated every second of this book. The characters were completely unlikable. It's been 17 years and I still regret the waste of time that I spent reading it.

[Anna · Rating 1 out of 5]

What an utter waste of my time it was reading this book. I nearly abandoned it several times but I felt compelled to find out how it would all end. I really enjoyed the previous book that I read by this author which is why I requested this one from the library. But, really. Oh my goodness what an absolute waste of words. What self-indulgent irrelevant drivel. I kept hoping that some redeeming feature would present itself. Alas, not to be. Depressing introspection by a pathetic, unlikable 40-something-year-old woman. Aside from Jack, who seemed to be the only sane character in the novel, I didn’t like any of the characters, but especially Lottie. The acidic, unkind observations (by Lottie) of various other people who appeared throughout, made me like her even less, although I think perhaps the reader was meant to feel sympathy for her, having had such a dysfunctional upbringing. It didn’t happen. Actually, there wasn’t anything I liked about this book, and I don’t recommend anyone else waste three to four hours of their life reading it, because there is nothing to be gained from it. Most disappointing.

[Ben Eggleston · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very fine novel about a woman figuring out what to do at a crossroads in her life. The main character, Lottie, lives in Chicago and is a non-fiction writer who has recently started her second marriage. She is having second thoughts about it, and while spending the summer in Boston getting her aging mother's house ready to sell, she reflects on her circumstances. Her own life during that summer is relatively uneventful compared to the lives of the people she interacts with the most - her son (helping her with the house), her brother (who lives in Boston), and a childhood friend (or more like a frenemy). For these characters, the summer is very eventful. The book opens with Lottie's brother accidentally killing a young woman who had connections with Lottie's son and her childhood friend, and this tragedy is the focal point of what proves to be a substantial and gripping plot. Lottie's involvement in these characters' lives and her reflections about their choices ultimately influence her own choices and lead her to clarity about her priorities.

[Dark-Draco · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the sort of book that I would normally not touch with a long barge pole! But I was taken pleasantly by surprise. I have not read this author before and I kind of liked her style, which kept me reading - after all, there wasn't a huge amount going on to keep you reading otherwise!

It started off so well, with Cameron's accident and subsequent disappearance - this mild mystery is what kept the book moving sluggishly on through Lottie's constant reflections. But there was no real big twist about where he was ... it was all a bit pathetic really, even if it did open Lottie's eyes on what her life could become.

So, overall, a good read - I enjoyed it enough to look out for other books by the author, but wouldn't necessarily rush out to buy them ;)

[CanadianReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

A big, baggy book—just too long. The core of a good idea is here: comparing and contrasting different kinds of love: romantic and familial; however, it’s all a bit over the top. All of the characters are self-absorbed, and I personally don’t care for quite the amount of detail that Miller evidently likes to supply about her central character’s sexual relationships. An accessible and undemanding book. Ultimately forgettable. On my shelf for many years and now gone . . .

[Diana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Was extremely painful to read. The amount of reminiscing she does in this story is just too much to take. I had to force myself to finish this book, at about half way I wanted to throw it from my balcony. Even the one sex scene felt disjointed and rather unfeeling. Indulgent in her own past and after all this book takes you through she still doesn't come to her husband in a passionate AND loving way, rather in a way that she feels he is her best option so why not.

I am tense and want to shake this character until she wakes the hell up and recognizes she isn't living fully.

[Anne Simpson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty good story- is love just exciting romance, or something that has to be worked at? But, I found this book too talky and too long. The main character, Lottie, is considering leaving her husband. She gets away to consider in Cambridge, MA, helping her brother Cam to empty out their mother’s home as Cam has moved her to a nursing home. I really didn’t like Lottie very much, so that weakened the book for me. Worth reading, but I was very happy to finish it. I previously read The Arsonist, and While I Was Gone by the same author. I think I liked those books more than this one.

[Catherine Tyrrell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoy this author and her stories about middle aged women and their complicated relationships.
This one was about Lottie who went back home to refurbish her mother's home after she is admitted to a skilled care place and how she is prompted to remember her mother's lack of mothering, her wealthier neighbor's lack of friendship and then attempt at a renewed friendship. It also involves an accidental death, the strange circumstances of her marriage and a brother, who is a bit of a psychopath.

[Mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't quite know what to make of this book. I didn't necessarily like the story, but it was told well. The characters do not share my personality or world view, but the author shared these points of view with me well.
It is an in depth look at relationships. So if you like reading about relations- love, lovers, family, generations, you may enjoy this book.

[Nicholas · Rating 2 out of 5]

I do like Sue Miller but this was pretty plodding. Despite the fact that something big does happen -- an accidental car crash, resulting in a death -- it happens in the beginning and the rest of the book ends up being a tedious exploration of the things that people do "for love," as in the title. I think that Miller has gotten better the more she writes. This was early stuff.

[Melissa Bassett · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had to give up on this. I usually love this author but every time I thought of picking up the book I tossed it aside. The story is slow and uneventful. You hope this is all build up to a main event, but that never happens. Lottie is not only narcissistic but odd and not in a good way. I'd pass on this one.

[Judy Churchill · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s a treat to read a Sue Miller novel. Not only is it well written but it delves deep below the surface. This is a look at love at midlife. We are awash in experiences of prior love and must wade through those to make sense of a new one. Sue Miller does this with emotion and exquisite skill.

[Jackie Simons]

Read 6/96

[Seawitch · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s better than a 3 but not quite a 4 because sometimes it’s pretty rambly. Still, you can see this author has a lot of material and talent she is going to be able to draw from and refine. A story of family and how those early childhood experiences forever color the lives of those raised in emotional deprivation.

[Gayle Cappelluti · Rating 3 out of 5]

For Love starts out so strong, I was certain it would be amazing, but I have to say I was very disappointed. For me, it fell short half way through, and never did fulfill its promise.
Here we have a story of love in midlife, when the passion of youth has subsided and our lovers see all of us, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Do we adjust our expectations, or do we always look for that new thing, someone else, or maybe someone we once had? Can we ever go back to reclaim a former love? And if we do, will it be bright and new, intoxicating and exciting as it once was?
All of these questions are addressed in For Love, where Lottie has returned to her childhood home to help her brother prepare their mother's home for sale. They are hoping that she will ultimately be declared incompetent. Though there is no love lost berween Lottie and her lifelong alcoholic mother, Lottie, a women's magazine writer. is in great need of some space form her husband, whom she suspects is still in love with his deceased wife. Cameron, her brother, is having a searing hot affair with Elizabeth, his adolescent crush that he apparently never recovered from. For her part, Elizabeth is running from her husband who has cheated on her, and using Lottie, mercilessly as a cover. The connections between them all are messy, very messy, and I didn't care much for any of them or their messy lives.

[Jayne Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think ninety percent of the action in this novel takes place in the opening chapter. A tragic event occurs therein, but as the book progresses it becomes clear that this will be nothing more than a side issue, the main business of the novel being the introspection and detailed character analysis that Sue Miller specialises in. She seems to take the angst found in teenage novels and superimpose it on her middle-aged characters. Oh yes we can certainly suffer in our forties. Character development was of a high standard throughout, and in particular main protagonist Lottie was sufficiently imperfect to make her real (though in my mind’s eye, anyone called Lottie has to be aged three or less). This said, I can see how the whole thing would be a tough read if you don’t like or engage with any of the characters. The density of some of the sections was such that it was like going underwater. Best take a deep breath, you’re going to be down there for some time

[Ellen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have read several books by Sue Miller and liked them very much. This was my least favorite of her books. I actively disliked it to the degree that I considered not finishing it at all. I found it painful to read. Perhaps it is true to life, but it felt like most of the characters were incredibly damaged and self-destructive. I found little reason to hope in the narrative.

While sometimes flashbacks work well in a book, for me they did not really work in this book. Perhaps it was the frequency of them. It was difficult to follow a through-line because of the short, choppy scenes that jumped back and forth.

Some scenes were amazingly painful to read; for me, the road trip was one of those. Overall, I would likely not recommend this book to others. And if it was the only Sue Miller book I had read, I would not recomment the author to others.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the self-absorption of the characters was difficult to stomach at times, it was interesting to catch a glimpse of how baby boomers view the role of the psyche in familial and romantic love. Gen-Xers and younger readers might struggle with how seriously the characters take themselves, but it is weirdly entertaining to get lost in a character and take on her obsessions. Of course, you could also re-read Jane Eyre and scratch the same itch.

[Daura De assis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and stayed up until dawn to finish it! I think Miller’s characters are beautifully written and developed. The characters are nuanced and flawed, some more than others. I’m not going to talk about the story line, and to be honest, it’s not that kind of book. This is less about a beginning, middle and end and more about a window in a short time frame that allows us to learn about the characters. I loved it and highly recommend it.

[Valerie Petersen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I had forgotten how much I like Sue Miller's writing. She captures all the subtleties of human interactions between family members, friends and lovers. The main character is a flawed and complicated woman, struggling to be in a committed relationship despite her fiercely independent nature.

[Cris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Superb. Loved it. This book and Senator's wife and Family pics are still books she wrote which are on my mind. I remember something daily. I think Mrs Miller is a character in each book. It seems there is always a problem with mother relationship. I think deep feeling are touched and I loved every single book she wrote. Very genuine writings. Thank you.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sue Miller is an excellent writer but this particular work of hers is rather disturbing. All of the characters are in some kind of crisis, which does not make for escapist reading--which is what I was looking for when I picked up this book.

[Kelly McCloskey-Romero · Rating 4 out of 5]

The way that Sue Miller writes the inner narrative of her female main characters is so entrancing to me. She weaves together class conflicts and quests for self-understanding and human flaws and ruminations on what is love. This is another example of this sort of tapestry and I loved it.

[Howard Christie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sue Miller has been writing “domestic” fiction for over 30 years now. She has about a dozen books, a couple made into movies and For Love is I think her third book. I’ve probably read half of them, dating back to the 90’s and was always taken by how insightful her writing appeared to be. The last couple for me were less appealing but this one reminds me of the reasons I was drawn to her books even if the general subject matter is not necessarily my thing.
It’s about the stages of love, romantic versus domestic and how one degrades into the other, sometimes leading to despair or even violence but occasionally into re- emergence. Billy Joel actually says it well, “some love is just a lie of the heart, the cold remains of what began with a passionate start”.
Lottie lives in Chicago, a divorcée who has recently married Jack, a good man with whom she had an affair after his wife was severely impacted by 2 strokes. She is wondering about this new life and doubtful of it lasting and takes the opportunity to go to Cambridge for the summer. Her mother has dementia, is in a home and her house ( Lotties childhood home) must be fixed up to sell. Her brother Cameron and her son Ryan are in the area to help. In the mix is the flirty Elizabeth who has just separated from her husband and moved to Cambridge. She had an affair long ago with Cameron that she broke off.
If that doesn’t sound like a comedy, it isn’t, it’s all pretty serious. Sparks fly as Elizabeth and Cam rekindle, Lottie and Jack try to rekindle and then a fatal accident brings all together and apart.
The glue for all these seemingly soap opera happenings is Ms. Millers writing. Whether describing the physical surroundings, or fleshing out characters feelings or flashing back to earlier times ( as she often does), it’s always thoughtful, often moving and usually feels right. There are complaints about too much “recalling” by the characters and a prolonged solo car ride with a toothache near the end of the book does feel like too much and just a schemed way to get lots of thoughts out of the way. For the most part though, For Love addresses the desire for romantic love and the fear of domestic love, leaving some hope that both can exist.