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A Coupla Shades of Taupe
A romantic, tender tale of blossoming emotions and hardcore schtupping. 50 Shades of Grey doesn't come close to reaching the literary heights of A Coupla Shades of Taupe. A Pulitzer is inevitable.
Pagan Taupe is the wealthiest man in all of Arkansas. He’s got everything. The only thing that’s missing is a whiny young codependent named Alexandra Aluminum. Pagan becomes obsessed with Alexandra at a level normally portrayed by Rob Lowe in Lifetime movies. But unlike Rob Lowe, Pagan doesn’t want to beat her with a tire iron and bury her beneath the town bridge — he wants to make her his live-in sex slave.
Alexandra takes the leap and agrees to be Pagan’s unquestioning “submissive” and the two embark on a sexual journey that would make Gloria Steinem put a loaded gun to her temple.
Pagan Taupe is the wealthiest man in all of Arkansas. He’s got everything. The only thing that’s missing is a whiny young codependent named Alexandra Aluminum. Pagan becomes obsessed with Alexandra at a level normally portrayed by Rob Lowe in Lifetime movies. But unlike Rob Lowe, Pagan doesn’t want to beat her with a tire iron and bury her beneath the town bridge — he wants to make her his live-in sex slave.
Alexandra takes the leap and agrees to be Pagan’s unquestioning “submissive” and the two embark on a sexual journey that would make Gloria Steinem put a loaded gun to her temple.
133 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 18, 2012
6 people are currently reading
642 people want to read
About the author
Court Burback
1 book9 followersCourt Burback's "adult snuggle" stories have appeared in publications that include Playgirl and Hustler (under a pseudonym to protect her virtuous and presumably ashamed Catholic family). Thanks to (or in spite of) her ADD, she’s currently working on a YA novel, a screenplay, a TV pilot, a graphic novel script, and an intricate Lego model of Ewok tree village. Court is currently a cliché starving artist living in Los Angeles, where she survives on Ramen noodles and drives a ’97 Ford Mustang that runs on dreams. She continues to mourn the cancellation of Frisky Dingo.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
April 5, 2020
so this book is pretty awesome, i gotta say. it stays pretty parodically true to the original, but i don't think it is necessary to have read fifty shades to get what you need to out of it; if you don't know the plot of fifty shades, you are living under a rock, and probably have bigger concerns than reading. like slugs.
there are so many great lines in this book, she has a way with the simile like no other author. early on, i started cutting-and-pasting my favorite lines, but i had to give up pretty quickly, because there were so many, and this is something you should just read, in its entirety. but i will give you a couple of highlights.
I stand shyly near the bed.
“Is it going to hurt?”
“I can’t say. But I’d sure as hell rather be the battering ram than the castle gate.”
I feel a shot of nervous adrenaline rush through my veins.
“Do you—do you think I’ll cry?”
“Probably. But to be honest, with the stuff I like to do you’d probably be doing that anyway.”
********************************************
“My god,” I say breathlessly. “That was such an intensely emotional experience for me. I feel so close to you right now…like we’re connected on an almost spiritual level, you know? Like what we have is bigger than sex. A level of intimacy that just can’t be put into words. Do you feel that way too?”
Pagan stares at me a long time.
Finally he bops my nose with his finger.
“Boop,” he says.
********************************************
“The number of notches in your bedpost is a little intimidating. I’m not going to run into all your sexy ex-girlfriends at Target or Burger King, am I?”
He laughs.
“They’d have to dig themselves out of six feet of cement first.”
“Oh, you,” I giggle.
this book has everything: animal abuse, racism, spray-cheese inserted into body cavities, clown abuse, goiters, lustful fantasies involving already-chewed slim jims. it is like a catalog of disgust and irreverence.
it occasionally pokes at e.l. james adorably:
The room is cold, clean, and clinical, and, like his garments, bathed in colors that a lazy romance novelist might describe to insinuate his personality.
********************************************
“I’m sorry if I came off as a bit…controlling,” he says with a mischievous grin. “But I’m a man that enjoys exerting control, you see. And I believe that there are those that would actually enjoy relinquishing their will to feed my—” He sighs. “I don’t know how many other ways there are to insinuate that I like control, Miss Aluminum. But it’s important that someone, say, a bored, sexually frustrated housewife, understand that we’re blatantly and unimaginatively setting up a future sexual dynamic here.”
********************************************
The whiny little voice in my head keeps debating the pros and cons of letting my feelings for Pagan continue to blossom, but I won’t bore you with that. I mean, if I were writing a book chronicling my relationship with Pagan, and I stopped every other paragraph to wonder if Pagan really really likes me, or to sort through my prepubescent emotional state, then I’d wind up with, like, a five hundred–page book!
i loved reading this. i kind of want to read the other two e.l. james books in the hopes that burback will parody those, too.
i love our heroine's glittery pink diploma from her school, where she gets to take classes in "colors and shapes" and writes a fascinating paper on "go, spot, go." i love how ravenous she is as pagan starves her, because it leads to lines like:
When he releases his love froth inside my mouth, I’m actually pretty grateful because it’s the only protein I’ve had all day
and frankly, she had me at this line:
His voice is smooth and rich like Nutella, and just like Nutella I want to smear it all over my body
because i can relate to that like crazy.
this book cracked me up and gave me way more pleasure than the original. and how great is that cover? do it - doooooo it. see, i can be controlling, too.
come to my blog!
there are so many great lines in this book, she has a way with the simile like no other author. early on, i started cutting-and-pasting my favorite lines, but i had to give up pretty quickly, because there were so many, and this is something you should just read, in its entirety. but i will give you a couple of highlights.
I stand shyly near the bed.
“Is it going to hurt?”
“I can’t say. But I’d sure as hell rather be the battering ram than the castle gate.”
I feel a shot of nervous adrenaline rush through my veins.
“Do you—do you think I’ll cry?”
“Probably. But to be honest, with the stuff I like to do you’d probably be doing that anyway.”
********************************************
“My god,” I say breathlessly. “That was such an intensely emotional experience for me. I feel so close to you right now…like we’re connected on an almost spiritual level, you know? Like what we have is bigger than sex. A level of intimacy that just can’t be put into words. Do you feel that way too?”
Pagan stares at me a long time.
Finally he bops my nose with his finger.
“Boop,” he says.
********************************************
“The number of notches in your bedpost is a little intimidating. I’m not going to run into all your sexy ex-girlfriends at Target or Burger King, am I?”
He laughs.
“They’d have to dig themselves out of six feet of cement first.”
“Oh, you,” I giggle.
this book has everything: animal abuse, racism, spray-cheese inserted into body cavities, clown abuse, goiters, lustful fantasies involving already-chewed slim jims. it is like a catalog of disgust and irreverence.
it occasionally pokes at e.l. james adorably:
The room is cold, clean, and clinical, and, like his garments, bathed in colors that a lazy romance novelist might describe to insinuate his personality.
********************************************
“I’m sorry if I came off as a bit…controlling,” he says with a mischievous grin. “But I’m a man that enjoys exerting control, you see. And I believe that there are those that would actually enjoy relinquishing their will to feed my—” He sighs. “I don’t know how many other ways there are to insinuate that I like control, Miss Aluminum. But it’s important that someone, say, a bored, sexually frustrated housewife, understand that we’re blatantly and unimaginatively setting up a future sexual dynamic here.”
********************************************
The whiny little voice in my head keeps debating the pros and cons of letting my feelings for Pagan continue to blossom, but I won’t bore you with that. I mean, if I were writing a book chronicling my relationship with Pagan, and I stopped every other paragraph to wonder if Pagan really really likes me, or to sort through my prepubescent emotional state, then I’d wind up with, like, a five hundred–page book!
i loved reading this. i kind of want to read the other two e.l. james books in the hopes that burback will parody those, too.
i love our heroine's glittery pink diploma from her school, where she gets to take classes in "colors and shapes" and writes a fascinating paper on "go, spot, go." i love how ravenous she is as pagan starves her, because it leads to lines like:
When he releases his love froth inside my mouth, I’m actually pretty grateful because it’s the only protein I’ve had all day
and frankly, she had me at this line:
His voice is smooth and rich like Nutella, and just like Nutella I want to smear it all over my body
because i can relate to that like crazy.
this book cracked me up and gave me way more pleasure than the original. and how great is that cover? do it - doooooo it. see, i can be controlling, too.
come to my blog!
July 23, 2012
As a favor to a friend, Alexandra Aluminum interviews entrepreneur Pagan Taupe. Taupe soon introduces Alexandra to a sexual world she never knew existed...
First off, DO NOT try to read this in your cube while pretending to work. The laughter that replaces your usual muffled sobbing will be a clue that you're up to something.
Where do I start with this? Spray cheese sex? A clown chained to the wall of the sex chamber? A KKK themed restaurant (It's KKK-razy good!)? Disgusting sex acts like Dirty Sanchezes and pink neckties and Polish bike rides and Cosby sweaters?
Yeah, I'll just start by saying this is the funniest S&M themed book I've ever received from a female Goodreads author. Not only is it funny, it's very well-written. The laughs per page density is frighteningly high, mostly due to Court Burback's fantastic similes and comedic timing.
I don't want to spoil too much but here are a few quotes:
“Little Rock Abortion Clinic. No fetus can beat us. How may I direct your call?”
“Why don’t you meet me at my hotel room at eleven thirty? I’m in Little Rock on business this weekend. I’m staying at the Skundlebump Lodge.”
Damn, I think. That’s one of Arkansas’s finest motels. Or at least the only one I know of where the remote isn’t bolted to the nightstand.
"I’m sorry if I came off as a bit…controlling,” he says with a mischievous grin.
“But I’m a man that enjoys exerting control, you see. And I believe that there are those
that would actually enjoy relinquishing their will to feed my—” He sighs. “I don’t know how many other ways there are to insinuate that I like control, Miss Aluminum. But it’s important that someone, say, a bored, sexually frustrated housewife, understand that
we’re blatantly and unimaginatively setting up a future sexual dynamic here.”
"I cry and beg like a Mike Tyson girlfriend until he agrees."
"The wind pummels my face the way Charlie Sheen pummels things with ovaries."
I wanted to quote more but pretty soon I'd be quoting the entire book.
Any complaints? No! Now go buy this so Court Burback's self-esteem will be such that she'll write a full length novel!
First off, DO NOT try to read this in your cube while pretending to work. The laughter that replaces your usual muffled sobbing will be a clue that you're up to something.
Where do I start with this? Spray cheese sex? A clown chained to the wall of the sex chamber? A KKK themed restaurant (It's KKK-razy good!)? Disgusting sex acts like Dirty Sanchezes and pink neckties and Polish bike rides and Cosby sweaters?
Yeah, I'll just start by saying this is the funniest S&M themed book I've ever received from a female Goodreads author. Not only is it funny, it's very well-written. The laughs per page density is frighteningly high, mostly due to Court Burback's fantastic similes and comedic timing.
I don't want to spoil too much but here are a few quotes:
“Little Rock Abortion Clinic. No fetus can beat us. How may I direct your call?”
“Why don’t you meet me at my hotel room at eleven thirty? I’m in Little Rock on business this weekend. I’m staying at the Skundlebump Lodge.”
Damn, I think. That’s one of Arkansas’s finest motels. Or at least the only one I know of where the remote isn’t bolted to the nightstand.
"I’m sorry if I came off as a bit…controlling,” he says with a mischievous grin.
“But I’m a man that enjoys exerting control, you see. And I believe that there are those
that would actually enjoy relinquishing their will to feed my—” He sighs. “I don’t know how many other ways there are to insinuate that I like control, Miss Aluminum. But it’s important that someone, say, a bored, sexually frustrated housewife, understand that
we’re blatantly and unimaginatively setting up a future sexual dynamic here.”
"I cry and beg like a Mike Tyson girlfriend until he agrees."
"The wind pummels my face the way Charlie Sheen pummels things with ovaries."
I wanted to quote more but pretty soon I'd be quoting the entire book.
Any complaints? No! Now go buy this so Court Burback's self-esteem will be such that she'll write a full length novel!
September 23, 2015
b, is for Burback. (Buddy-read with my lovelies, Kat & Jess commencing Friday, January 9th)
2.5 Stars (rounded DOWN to 2 because you don't fuck with my love - by which I mean NOT Christian, just to clarify!!!)
Review Time:
There once was a badly written romance we three did hate
And a taupe coloured parody which we decided to read as of late
In the beginning there was inappropriate hilarity to be had
But the further I read, especially the sex, it got really bad.
There were obscure (parody inspired) animal deaths galore
And every time I said "that horse is dead" the joke went on more.
It was just too ridiculously stupid and foul for this girl to deal
And the longer I read the more brainless the jokes did feel.
I doubt I'll pick up another parody book in future times, friends.
I don't think they are for me, thus this stupid poem ends!
Sorry my review isn't more inspired.... I just can't be bothered to care about this book..... sorry :(
May 11, 2015
A fantastic buddy read with my favorites Karly and Kat starting Friday, January 9.
Read a book with a color in the title.
Ummm.Yeah. Started off strong.....by the end I was like
Yeah, so this review is going to be totally half-assed because its been a coupla days since I read it, and honestly, this book just isn't that great. It started off strong, I was laughing out loud at every other sentence because they sounded like this:
That's right, ladies, there is a NEW sexy man in town!
But honestly, the humor just got old. Same jokes, same racial slurs, same counts of animal abuse, and shit just started to bore me fast. And this is only 130 pages.
I think the thing that bothered me the most about this is actually the reason why I have all three Fifty Shades books on my "unread forever" list. I fucking HATE the male lover interest. HATE HIM. If anything else, this stupid parody just reiterated why I will NEVER read the trash that is Fifty Shades. The sex scenes really really bothered me, and I KNEW it was supposed to be a joke. The whole dominance/submissive thing is really WHACKED. Dear ladies who may pick up the real thing, these books do not describe a real BDSM relationship. BDSM is not about abuse! Ladies, it is not ok to be talked to, treated, commanded, or in any other way disrespected by your man the way this guy talks to the woman he is sleeping with. The wayChristian Pagan acts in this book is ABUSIVE, not SEXY. LADIES LISTEN UP! The way he acts is not ROMANTIC, SWEET, or PROTECTIVE. It is CREEPY, CONTROLLING, and BAAAAD! Thank you.
Ok, I'm done. This book was dumb. Onto another.
Read a book with a color in the title.
Ummm.Yeah. Started off strong.....by the end I was like
Yeah, so this review is going to be totally half-assed because its been a coupla days since I read it, and honestly, this book just isn't that great. It started off strong, I was laughing out loud at every other sentence because they sounded like this:
"Ratfink! I knew I should have sucked it up and gone, So what did he look like? A blond Adonis? Dark and handsome? Anything but Chinese?"
"Pagan is amazing. He's like a short Steve Buscemi."
That's right, ladies, there is a NEW sexy man in town!
But honestly, the humor just got old. Same jokes, same racial slurs, same counts of animal abuse, and shit just started to bore me fast. And this is only 130 pages.
I think the thing that bothered me the most about this is actually the reason why I have all three Fifty Shades books on my "unread forever" list. I fucking HATE the male lover interest. HATE HIM. If anything else, this stupid parody just reiterated why I will NEVER read the trash that is Fifty Shades. The sex scenes really really bothered me, and I KNEW it was supposed to be a joke. The whole dominance/submissive thing is really WHACKED. Dear ladies who may pick up the real thing, these books do not describe a real BDSM relationship. BDSM is not about abuse! Ladies, it is not ok to be talked to, treated, commanded, or in any other way disrespected by your man the way this guy talks to the woman he is sleeping with. The way
Ok, I'm done. This book was dumb. Onto another.
August 6, 2014
5 stars on the hilarity alone. Is it deserving? Not really, but NEENER, NEENER NEENER 50 Shades of Grey, this was three dollars that was well spent!
Ever since reading 50 Shades of Grey I've had a parody running in my head. This eclipses my version. The piss poor writing style of 50 Shades is exploited here, in a totally humorous way.
Who needs Christian Grey when you have Mr. Taupe- his blow up sheep, and a rickshaw! This parody is right on. In my opinion, Burback nailed it. Just wait until you see HIS playroom and list of hard limits!
If you loved 50 shades, stay away from this book. You'll hate it for being such a mockery of your beloved 'mommy porn'. But if you are like me, and thought 50 Shades was completely drivel, you will love this parody's snarkiness. You know where I stand. Three thumbs up!
Ever since reading 50 Shades of Grey I've had a parody running in my head. This eclipses my version. The piss poor writing style of 50 Shades is exploited here, in a totally humorous way.
Who needs Christian Grey when you have Mr. Taupe- his blow up sheep, and a rickshaw! This parody is right on. In my opinion, Burback nailed it. Just wait until you see HIS playroom and list of hard limits!
If you loved 50 shades, stay away from this book. You'll hate it for being such a mockery of your beloved 'mommy porn'. But if you are like me, and thought 50 Shades was completely drivel, you will love this parody's snarkiness. You know where I stand. Three thumbs up!
July 31, 2012
Pagan Taupe leans suavely against a mouse cage, tilting it and forcing the mouse in the wheel to cling for dear life. He's wearing a crisp taupe suit, but the jacket is open, and my eyes drift to the T-shirt beneath. It reads: I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY COFFEE...GROUND UP AND IN THE FREEZER.
&
His gaze dips from my face to my collarbone, then lower. His eyes devour my body like I'm a sundae slathered in slut sauce.
&
When Pagan and I climb into the rickshaw he seems preoccupied, and withdrawn. finally he turns to me, and with solemn eyes he asks, "Penny for your thoughts?"
And then it just kind of bursts out of me. "I had a dream last night where we were both old and wearing matching kitten sweaters and sitting on a porch like the couple in the Country Time Lemonade commercials. It was really beautiful. And then your head just exploded. Like a pumpkin."
He stares at me a long time.
"I want my penny back."
&
I sigh and decide to start the day as I always do: by ignoring the five billion glaring warning signs that Pagan Taupe is not, and will never be, good husband material. But on an episode of Real Housewives I saw a woman that had a full pedicure salon in her house, and you don't get an in-house pedicure salon staffed with frightened Vietnamese chicks by nabbing an Applebee's assistant manager. The way I figure it, I'm slowly earning a permanent place in this mansion with every thermometer, Barbie doll, flashlight, beanie baby, golf club, guinea pig, and light bulb that's slipped into my rectum.
YES, the entire book is like that.
If you have a sick sense of humor, this is the book for you.
If you think that American Psycho is the finest comedy ever to be filmed, this book is for you.
September 5, 2012
By Court Burback. Grade B+
After I read Fifty Shades of Grey, and posted a few hate messages to E. L James on her Twitter handle, I still couldn’t stop making fun of the book. Yes, I admit, the hours I spent reading FSOG are the ones I’ll always loathe.
After a month of reading it, there came a savior to get my life back on track after reading FSOG- It was Court Burback with her book A Coupla Shades of Taupe.
Pagan Taupe is the wealthiest man in all of Arkansas. He’s got a home with a working refrigerator, a private rickshaw driver, and a respected empire of taxidermy/fro-yo chain stores. The only thing that’s missing is a whiny young co-dependent named Alexandra Aluminum. From the moment he sees her tripping over an angry raccoon, it’s clear that Alexandra dills his pickle. Pagan becomes obsessed with
Alexandra at a level normally portrayed by Rob Lowe in Lifetime movies. But unlike Rob Lowe, Pagan doesn’t want to beat her with a tire iron and bury her beneath the town bridge—he wants to make her his live-in sex slave.
But if eager young Alexandra wants to feel the caress of Pagan’s ear hair against her cheek, she’s going to have to play by his rules. When Pagan reveals the special room he’s built to live out his sexual proclivities, Alexandra’s natural reaction is to cold cock him and call the police. But the clown chained to the wall assures Alexandra that Pagan is a stand-up guy, and if she gives him a chance he can introduce her to a world of unimaginable pleasure. Alexandra takes the leap and agrees to be Pagan’s unquestioning “submissive,” and the two embark on a sexual journey that would make Gloria Steinem put a loaded gun to her temple.
A COUPLA SHADES OF TAUPE is a romantic, tender tale of blossoming emotions and hardcore schtupping. A Pulitzer is inevitable.
As the name says, it is a parody of the record breaking, crappy bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey. The action of the spoof starts right from the name of the book. After that there’s no stopping. While Anastasia Steel dies over the looks of the rich and young entrepreneur Christian Grey in FSOG, in ACSOT, you’d find Alexandra Aluminum’s heart captured by the wealthy Pagan Taupe who plays the dominant in their BDSM relationship.
The book has a slow start, but after just a few pages, I was laughing into my palm, because it was that funny. My ribs hurt. Soon after ten or so pages, I had a million of “WTF!” moments at the awkward situations Pagan and Alex created. Ahead of that, it made me laugh like mad.
There’s nothing about FSOG that the author has not made fun of in the book. Be it their names, the incidents, the characters or the novel on the whole, you have everything to chuckle at. The best part of it was the spoof at E. L. James and her writing style. That absolutely cracked me up. I’ll quote a few examples:
“I’m sorry if I came off as a bit…controlling,” he says with a mischievous grin. “But I’m a man that enjoys exerting control, you see. And I believe that there are those that would actually enjoy relinquishing their will to feed my—” He sighs. “I don’t know how many other ways there are to insinuate that I like control, Miss Aluminum. But it’s important that someone, say, a bored, sexually frustrated housewife, understand that we’re blatantly and unimaginatively setting up a future sexual dynamic here.”
____
My eyes drift around the office. The room is cold, clean, and clinical, and, like his garments, bathed in colors that a lazy romance novelist might describe to insinuate his personality.
_____
He nods. “Alexandra, do you know that it’s been, like, two whole pages since we had sex?”
My eyes widen. “Really? Shit.”
“Should I just, I don’t know…do you on the desk or something?”
“Yeah. That’s cool.”
I bend over the desk and Pagan pulls out his pork sword and whispers generic sexy things and then velvet caresses, moans of ecstasy, castles in the sky, blah blah blah. Five minutes later he’s sprawled naked on a couch scarfing a hoagie and watching Say Yes to the Dress.
_____
Pagan sighs. “Alexandra, this is my sister Mina. She’s another fairly forgettable character and only appears in this one scene.”
There are hardly many writers, I believe, that can pull as good a comedy as Ms. Burback. Be it Alex’s syphilis stricken friend Candy, the ‘Sometimes Girlfriend’ goat of Pagan, the tied up clown Bill, or the human rickshaw that Pagan gifts Alex, Ms. Burback gives you something to giggle at in every single paragraph.
I hate comparing authors, but since we are talking about a lampoon here, I’d like to tell you that while FSOG was gross and erotic, ACSOT is a hilarious tale of the sexual tragedies and comedies of Alex and Pagan’s relationship.
Ms. Burback has a graceful writing style of her own, and the way E. L James writes is not even worth the comparison. ACSOT, unlike FSOG, is very well written, well edited and not repetitive at all.
I’m sure that you will crack-up after reading A Coupla Shades of Taupe, if you read and Hated FSOG. Even if you haven’t read it, you would surely have a nice laugh reading the book.
Nevertheless, I do not recommend this for FSOG lovers. They better wait for E. L James’ next, while I will be looking forward to the coming works of Ms. Burback.
I wish her good luck with the book!
Originally reviewed at www.vaultofbooks.com
After I read Fifty Shades of Grey, and posted a few hate messages to E. L James on her Twitter handle, I still couldn’t stop making fun of the book. Yes, I admit, the hours I spent reading FSOG are the ones I’ll always loathe.
After a month of reading it, there came a savior to get my life back on track after reading FSOG- It was Court Burback with her book A Coupla Shades of Taupe.
Pagan Taupe is the wealthiest man in all of Arkansas. He’s got a home with a working refrigerator, a private rickshaw driver, and a respected empire of taxidermy/fro-yo chain stores. The only thing that’s missing is a whiny young co-dependent named Alexandra Aluminum. From the moment he sees her tripping over an angry raccoon, it’s clear that Alexandra dills his pickle. Pagan becomes obsessed with
Alexandra at a level normally portrayed by Rob Lowe in Lifetime movies. But unlike Rob Lowe, Pagan doesn’t want to beat her with a tire iron and bury her beneath the town bridge—he wants to make her his live-in sex slave.
But if eager young Alexandra wants to feel the caress of Pagan’s ear hair against her cheek, she’s going to have to play by his rules. When Pagan reveals the special room he’s built to live out his sexual proclivities, Alexandra’s natural reaction is to cold cock him and call the police. But the clown chained to the wall assures Alexandra that Pagan is a stand-up guy, and if she gives him a chance he can introduce her to a world of unimaginable pleasure. Alexandra takes the leap and agrees to be Pagan’s unquestioning “submissive,” and the two embark on a sexual journey that would make Gloria Steinem put a loaded gun to her temple.
A COUPLA SHADES OF TAUPE is a romantic, tender tale of blossoming emotions and hardcore schtupping. A Pulitzer is inevitable.
As the name says, it is a parody of the record breaking, crappy bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey. The action of the spoof starts right from the name of the book. After that there’s no stopping. While Anastasia Steel dies over the looks of the rich and young entrepreneur Christian Grey in FSOG, in ACSOT, you’d find Alexandra Aluminum’s heart captured by the wealthy Pagan Taupe who plays the dominant in their BDSM relationship.
The book has a slow start, but after just a few pages, I was laughing into my palm, because it was that funny. My ribs hurt. Soon after ten or so pages, I had a million of “WTF!” moments at the awkward situations Pagan and Alex created. Ahead of that, it made me laugh like mad.
There’s nothing about FSOG that the author has not made fun of in the book. Be it their names, the incidents, the characters or the novel on the whole, you have everything to chuckle at. The best part of it was the spoof at E. L. James and her writing style. That absolutely cracked me up. I’ll quote a few examples:
“I’m sorry if I came off as a bit…controlling,” he says with a mischievous grin. “But I’m a man that enjoys exerting control, you see. And I believe that there are those that would actually enjoy relinquishing their will to feed my—” He sighs. “I don’t know how many other ways there are to insinuate that I like control, Miss Aluminum. But it’s important that someone, say, a bored, sexually frustrated housewife, understand that we’re blatantly and unimaginatively setting up a future sexual dynamic here.”
____
My eyes drift around the office. The room is cold, clean, and clinical, and, like his garments, bathed in colors that a lazy romance novelist might describe to insinuate his personality.
_____
He nods. “Alexandra, do you know that it’s been, like, two whole pages since we had sex?”
My eyes widen. “Really? Shit.”
“Should I just, I don’t know…do you on the desk or something?”
“Yeah. That’s cool.”
I bend over the desk and Pagan pulls out his pork sword and whispers generic sexy things and then velvet caresses, moans of ecstasy, castles in the sky, blah blah blah. Five minutes later he’s sprawled naked on a couch scarfing a hoagie and watching Say Yes to the Dress.
_____
Pagan sighs. “Alexandra, this is my sister Mina. She’s another fairly forgettable character and only appears in this one scene.”
There are hardly many writers, I believe, that can pull as good a comedy as Ms. Burback. Be it Alex’s syphilis stricken friend Candy, the ‘Sometimes Girlfriend’ goat of Pagan, the tied up clown Bill, or the human rickshaw that Pagan gifts Alex, Ms. Burback gives you something to giggle at in every single paragraph.
I hate comparing authors, but since we are talking about a lampoon here, I’d like to tell you that while FSOG was gross and erotic, ACSOT is a hilarious tale of the sexual tragedies and comedies of Alex and Pagan’s relationship.
Ms. Burback has a graceful writing style of her own, and the way E. L James writes is not even worth the comparison. ACSOT, unlike FSOG, is very well written, well edited and not repetitive at all.
I’m sure that you will crack-up after reading A Coupla Shades of Taupe, if you read and Hated FSOG. Even if you haven’t read it, you would surely have a nice laugh reading the book.
Nevertheless, I do not recommend this for FSOG lovers. They better wait for E. L James’ next, while I will be looking forward to the coming works of Ms. Burback.
I wish her good luck with the book!
Originally reviewed at www.vaultofbooks.com
September 24, 2012
See full review here!
Oh. My. Goodness! First, let me start by saying that I have NOT read Fifty Shades of Grey, and if you can't tell, this is a parody of that. Obviously, if I've read this, then I don't have a problem with the subject matter tackled in Fifty Shades. The problem with that "book" is that it's completely unedited - terrible punctuation, awful grammar, same words used over and over again, etc. How do I know this? I've read enough excerpts and heard from enough friends that this book is going to just irritate the eff out of me. Moving on to the review of this (hilarious) book.
So, Court Burback made me laugh throughout this whole, entire novel! Alexandra's major in college is Books and Stuff, and she writes essays with crayons. Pagan Taupe is slimy and strange, and his goat, "Sometimes Girlfriend," makes an appearance. Laughing yet? Yes? Then you should read the rest of this hysterical piece of satire! There's a clown chained to a wall, lots of ridiculous sexual escapades, a few amusing misunderstandings, and the most infuriating and comically funny ending of all time. Seriously. I couldn't believe it!
Now.. if this wasn't a parody, I would have immediately put the book down. It really is all a giant joke. But when you know what it's poking fun at, then the book becomes all fun and folly. It's written with fantastic grammar, punctuation, and editing, so it's already 100% better than the book it's mocking. The jokes are smart and funny, witty and fresh. It's a fast read, and it will make you giggle, which will burn calories. That's always good. *wink*
Oh. My. Goodness! First, let me start by saying that I have NOT read Fifty Shades of Grey, and if you can't tell, this is a parody of that. Obviously, if I've read this, then I don't have a problem with the subject matter tackled in Fifty Shades. The problem with that "book" is that it's completely unedited - terrible punctuation, awful grammar, same words used over and over again, etc. How do I know this? I've read enough excerpts and heard from enough friends that this book is going to just irritate the eff out of me. Moving on to the review of this (hilarious) book.
So, Court Burback made me laugh throughout this whole, entire novel! Alexandra's major in college is Books and Stuff, and she writes essays with crayons. Pagan Taupe is slimy and strange, and his goat, "Sometimes Girlfriend," makes an appearance. Laughing yet? Yes? Then you should read the rest of this hysterical piece of satire! There's a clown chained to a wall, lots of ridiculous sexual escapades, a few amusing misunderstandings, and the most infuriating and comically funny ending of all time. Seriously. I couldn't believe it!
Now.. if this wasn't a parody, I would have immediately put the book down. It really is all a giant joke. But when you know what it's poking fun at, then the book becomes all fun and folly. It's written with fantastic grammar, punctuation, and editing, so it's already 100% better than the book it's mocking. The jokes are smart and funny, witty and fresh. It's a fast read, and it will make you giggle, which will burn calories. That's always good. *wink*
July 14, 2012
At first I want to thank Mrs. Burback for giving me a free copy of her ebook to enjoy. And I want to thank her for making fun of the utterly dull orignal book "Fifty ...." .
I had a blast reading this one! Really funny, filled with creative ways to mock the shame that the original is. xD I like the Monthy Python style humor, the random events and the smart skits. Well done. It shows once again, that from everything bad something good can come. :)
A fun, fast and easy read. Some may say: Well this is profane. I say: Look closely and read between the lines, and you will notice some serious questions coming up in your mind. Like: How come that the original has such a success with this kind of sick content? How come it is the fastes selling book in history, even it is written with no effort whatsoever? How come 90% of the readers are women?
I can only shake my head on those questions. In conclusion: This book will make you laugh really hard, it made my week and I am glad I read it! :D
I had a blast reading this one! Really funny, filled with creative ways to mock the shame that the original is. xD I like the Monthy Python style humor, the random events and the smart skits. Well done. It shows once again, that from everything bad something good can come. :)
A fun, fast and easy read. Some may say: Well this is profane. I say: Look closely and read between the lines, and you will notice some serious questions coming up in your mind. Like: How come that the original has such a success with this kind of sick content? How come it is the fastes selling book in history, even it is written with no effort whatsoever? How come 90% of the readers are women?
I can only shake my head on those questions. In conclusion: This book will make you laugh really hard, it made my week and I am glad I read it! :D
maybe
July 8, 2012LMAO - "and the two embark on a sexual journey that would make Gloria Steinem put a loaded gun to her temple."
July 29, 2012
A parody of Fifty Shades of Grey that is not only hilarious but also stylishly and skillfully executed. I attempted Fifty Shades out of sheer curiosity but found the writing absolutely unbearable. I made it about 25 pages in before finding myself disgusted that it was topping the book charts. This - although not for everyone - was well done. I think anyone who read Fifty Shades and wasn't impressed or anyone planning on reading Fifty Shades should read this instead. I'm curious to see what this author does next!
July 15, 2016
I read most of Fifty Shades of Grey before angrily abandoning it, but I read Jennifer Armintrout's hilarious recaps of the entire thing—and I highly recommend you Google her to do the same, if you haven't already. I also watched the movie, thinking it would give me a good laugh. It didn't. But, I heard it stayed true to the book. So you could say that I have a pretty good idea of each significant scene and the ending, despite not having the tolerance for finishing it myself.
This book is pretty damn funny on its own, but probably best if you are familiar with the original it is parodying. Remember the first Scary Movie? It's like that. Very over the top and disgusting, but delightful if you'd actually seen all or most of the horror films it mocked (I had).
So even though I didn't read the actual scene in FSoG where Christian Grey removed her tampon, I read the recap of it on Jennifer's blog, and that made the scene in this book that much more humorous. Pagan Taupe doesn't pull her bloody tampon out, but he mentions that he'd like to, because it seems like something that would be in a bestselling romance novel.
There's never a dull moment in this book. It's one ridiculous and gross line after another. I'm slightly embarrassed by just how often (and how loudly) I LOL'd, and I'm sure my family is relieved that I finished this, less than 24 hours after I started it.
It's got a lot of dark humor in it, though, just to warn the delicate people. I sometimes felt guilty for what made me chuckle. Then I'd remind myself—at least I'm not one of the people who liked the original.
This book is pretty damn funny on its own, but probably best if you are familiar with the original it is parodying. Remember the first Scary Movie? It's like that. Very over the top and disgusting, but delightful if you'd actually seen all or most of the horror films it mocked (I had).
So even though I didn't read the actual scene in FSoG where Christian Grey removed her tampon, I read the recap of it on Jennifer's blog, and that made the scene in this book that much more humorous. Pagan Taupe doesn't pull her bloody tampon out, but he mentions that he'd like to, because it seems like something that would be in a bestselling romance novel.
There's never a dull moment in this book. It's one ridiculous and gross line after another. I'm slightly embarrassed by just how often (and how loudly) I LOL'd, and I'm sure my family is relieved that I finished this, less than 24 hours after I started it.
It's got a lot of dark humor in it, though, just to warn the delicate people. I sometimes felt guilty for what made me chuckle. Then I'd remind myself—at least I'm not one of the people who liked the original.
June 5, 2013
A Coupla Shades of Taupe is the Spark-Notes version of Fifty Shades of Grey... on steroids and laughing gas. While Grey is the wealthy owner of a company that delivers food to the hungry, Taupe is the wealthy owner of a taxidermy company that immortalizes deceased pets. While Anastasia Steele pines over Grey's perfectly sculpted face, Alexandria Aluminium fantasizes about picking jerky out of Taupe's teeth. If you haven't heard of Fifty Shades of Grey, you should know that it's a closet fad made infamous for its explicit sexual content, including whips and bondage. If you don't think that's grounds for a riotous parody, stop reading here.
Read the rest of this review at Underground Book Reviews dot com.
Read the rest of this review at Underground Book Reviews dot com.
January 19, 2013
Another parody of the "Fifty Shades" book. Maybe it's because it wasn't the first parody of "Fifty Shades" I have read that explains my feelings towards this version.
In comparison to "Fifty Shames of Earl Grey" I found this one less humerous and just plain tacky in some parts. Don't get me wrong, their are plenty of zingers that made me laugh in this one but not nearly the same experience I had with the other. If I had of read "A Coupla Shades of Taupe" first, my views might be entirely different.
Therefore, in goodreads rating language, the book was just "ok" for me. I would definitely give this author another try in the future..........
In comparison to "Fifty Shames of Earl Grey" I found this one less humerous and just plain tacky in some parts. Don't get me wrong, their are plenty of zingers that made me laugh in this one but not nearly the same experience I had with the other. If I had of read "A Coupla Shades of Taupe" first, my views might be entirely different.
Therefore, in goodreads rating language, the book was just "ok" for me. I would definitely give this author another try in the future..........
maybe
July 21, 2012I want to read this. But I don't want to read it without reading the original because I suspect it won't be as hilarious and relevant as it is supposed to be.
Now, since I've heard so many *shite* things about 50 shades of grey (ehem excuse my language) and hence unwilling to buy it... I shall patronize one of my friends into buying one.... muahahah
but no seriously :p I'm just going to borrow it from someone and only then will I buy this book to read :D
Now, since I've heard so many *shite* things about 50 shades of grey (ehem excuse my language) and hence unwilling to buy it... I shall patronize one of my friends into buying one.... muahahah
but no seriously :p I'm just going to borrow it from someone and only then will I buy this book to read :D
July 24, 2012
OMG READ THIS NOW
This is the funniest book I have ever read in my life.
Audrey said in her review that it is for people who think American Psycho is hilarious. Which is true. IT IS.
This is the funniest book I have ever read in my life.
Audrey said in her review that it is for people who think American Psycho is hilarious. Which is true. IT IS.
August 17, 2012
In many ways, much more direct (but ultimately the same messages) as the original. Just grosser and sillier and much, much more clever. A guanteed laugh on every page.
February 8, 2013
OMG I have never laughed so hard as I did reading this book. One chapter a night is all I could handle. I hope Court Burback spoofs the rest!!
November 19, 2017
So much better than the original. Every page made me at the very least breathe out of my nose.
August 26, 2012
This book was hilarious. Really quick read, but laugh out loud over the top hilarity. I haven't read the original book, but I know the type and this book pokes fun not only at 50 shades, but at all crappy, hit you over the head with obviousness romances. Totally recommend to anyone who has a sick sense of humor.
August 21, 2012
Just a little too weird of a sense of humor for me.. The references to the original were sometimes funny, but overall, it was just okay for me. I cringed more than I laughed...(~A big fan of the original series~)
September 5, 2012
I started out with a laugh, but I could barely get through after a few chapters. It might have been because the novelty of parody wore off rather than the book actually losing momentum. I did get a few giggles out the experience.
July 26, 2012
Funny and twisted, a clever send-up of the first in the "50 Shades" novel. I hope the author continues with parodies of the 2nd and 3rd books of the trilogy. I'd totally buy them.
August 12, 2012
Literally crying with laughter.
August 16, 2012
If anyone I know is even half tempted to read 50 Shades of Grey, do yourself a huge favor and read this book instead.
October 19, 2012
Funny for a little bit and then VERY boring!
January 13, 2013
Absolutely hilarious! For those who have or haven't read Fifty Shades of Grey, this will have you truly laughing out loud.
Read
January 14, 2015What a way to start the year. Hilarious.
January 22, 2015
It's 50 Shades in the style of the Scary Movies. Oh, how I laughed!
Read
December 28, 2016
I need a copy of this book. NOW.
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