Initially intrigued by the title similar to the movie What Men Want, I picked up a copy of The Truth about Men. As I began reading, I discovered that this book and the concepts therein are much more than a hashtag. Author DeVon Franklin uses the analogy of Dog and Master to uncover the battle with lust versus love.
“Lust is an overwhelming selfish impulse for sexual, financial, professional, or any personal fulfillment by any means necessary, even if those means are personally, professionally, or spiritually detrimental. I called this lust the Dog. The Dog becomes a Beast when a man becomes physically, emotionally, spiritually, or psychologically violent to satisfy lust. Mastery...is the practice of learning to love. The cure for the problem of the Dog (lust) is Mastery (love).” Any mastery I achieve is gained only to the degree to which I submit myself to the Master.
“We have a lot of experience living with some of our wants unmet...The practice of consistently sacrificing my personal desire for sex, managing my own lust for power, and committing to the process of personal successes a single man has helped me navigate the challenges...as a married man.”
Franklin underscores the significance of abstinence as an antidote to the lust epidemic. “Celibacy is the ultimate self-discipline...The health and well-being of our society is directly linked to how we date...Sex outside [marriage] is what I call ‘Dog food.’...You can’t date the Dog and marry the Master.” Man’s “rejection is God’s protection.”
A REAL man “knows how to honor himself and the women in his life. He’s respectful and consistent. He’s a warrior for peace and well-being. He craves responsibility and accepts accountability. He’s a builder who creates a happy home and a strong family because they are the most important things in his life. He’s at his best, fully expressing his potential. He’s thoughtful and compassionate. He’s sexy because he can handle commitment...Most of all, [he] bows to the Master. He understands that true power...comes from above.”
Autonomy doesn’t ascribe a male his manhood.
Age doesn’t make a boy an adult.
A degree doesn’t confer wisdom.
A title doesn’t create a leader.
Paternity doesn’t produce a father.
Integrity is the litmus test that defines identity.
“Integrity is not what we do when others are [not] watching; it’s what we do when no one else is around.” Through the metaphors of fine china and taekwondo, Franklin explores both the fragility and the tenacity of trust. “Trust is like an antique vase: slow and difficult to mend, distressingly easy to shatter, and nearly impossible to mend.” Being a black belt is not about doing. Wearing a black belt is about being. The same holds true if worship. In 1 Samuel 15:22, Samuel replied: ‘Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.” Worship is not confined to the sacrifices we make, it is defined by the attitude of obedience with which we make them. Legacy is the life we leave for those who look to us to lead. The Truth About Men provides a guidebook for how men and women can train up the next generation of boys into REAL men who will fulfill their God given destiny. A must-read.