Kimberly's Capital Punishment

by Richard Milward

Kimberly Clark was born to the sound of cackling witches in 1984. Having moved to London to follow her heart's dream, the sweet-but-slow Stevie, she soon tires of him and decides to destroy the relationship from within by being as vile as is humanly possible. When this tactic leads to Stevie's violent death by his own hand, Kimberly's soul hangs in the balance - will she ultimately spend eternity in the great TopShop in the sky? Or will she be hurtled into an abyss of endless physical torture, sexual humiliation and bad stand-up comedy? This is the story of Kimberly's redemption, or possibly the story of her it's up to you. There are six different endings on offer. This is a shocking, laugh-out-loud, nightmare-and-nausea-inducing book. It is a wild narrative experiment that recalls taboo-busting writers from William Burroughs to Irvine Welsh to Chuck Palahniuk.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary

464 pages, Paperback

First published August 16, 2012

About the author

Richard Milward was born in Middlesbrough in 1984. His debut novel, Apples, was published in 2007, and he recently passed his degree in Fine Art from Byam Shaw at Central St Martins in London. He currently lives in Middlesbrough.

Essay on his writing: http://www.faber.co.uk/article/2009/2...

Reviews

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hope you're reading this to help convince you to read this book. The criticism and low reviews are unjust. It's not that I don't understand people rating this book 1 or 2 stars, I will just say now that this book isn't for the prudish or faint-hearted. If you like your books to follow a certain pattern or want a book you can read in your staff room/on the bus/at your mum and dad's dinner table, this isn't for you. The main reason I loved this book is because of its creativity. The way the characters think, speak and act has been honed; every single word (and there's a lot of them) has been considered. That's why I believe Richard Milward to be one of the brightest writing talents out there. His work should be appreciated far more than it is. He uses his brain to make this a different reading experience and one that will give you crazy dreams in the same way eating cheese before bed does. This book grips you from the first page. Yes, it is the textbook equivalent of a video nasty but it isn't gratuitous for gratuity's sake. Isn't that how you imagined Hell to be? No? That's because you've never thought that far. Because you've never wanted to. Why not let someone else do that for you an in turn let you, the reader, imagine all the other tiny details. Read all of Richard Milward's books. That is if you want an experience and books you'll be thinking about years after you've read them.

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

In short, do not pick this one up if you are looking for:

-a feel-good story of redemption
-a smart narrator
-sharp satire
-quirky, off-beat humour
-delicious raunchiness
-any sense of conflict or resolution

Do however consider this if:
-you happen to have a hankering for literature depicting a seal raping a man, or a father having rough sex with his daughter

And if you happen to be a 100 pages in already and are wondering whether you should just give up now, in all fairness the middle bit of this book is rather interesting. You'll know it when you see it. But once you hit it and start to feel the novelty value wearing off, then by all means drop it. You won't miss out on much.

[Becky · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am not even sure where to begin within this bizarre book. I found it on $1 only shelf and was drawn in by the charitable price as well as the idea that you could 'choose your ending'- reminiscent of interactive books I read in my childhood. Unfortunately, what drew me in also forced me to abandon the book before completion.

Strange for the sake of being strange, I tolerated the absurdity of our central character Kimberly right up until her apparent death and the chance for the reader to choose her fate. Let me stress that you are not supposed to like Kim, she is a painfully awful human being and that is established from the get go. She poorly attempts to make amends for her perceived mistakes but does it in the most sexist, uncomfortable way possible - effectively molesting a disabled boy and f***ng and sucking her way to Salvation as she attempts to make a whole host of horrendous characters happy. Almost every character is unrealistically miserable and deplorable - aside from the boyfriend who starts it all off and Kim's boss who we believe to be a pervert right up until it s revealed he is in fact a mourning widower. Every man is only one pretty girl away from being a pervert. I took several breaks from reading because I just felt so incredibly dirty. The banality with which she is effectively raped and prostituted is borderline offensive as Kim seems to not even acknowledge what is happening to her.

And then we get into the really bizarre - beastial rape, implications of incest. I have read plenty of books that enjoy toying with our ideas of human sexuality and perversion so this is nothing knew to me (fictional and non) but this was too much.
I endured because I wanted to get to the interactive part but by the time I reached it I didn't want to know anymore. All the options were absurd, I skim read most because I was searching for the point! Where was the lesson, where was my lesson as a reader? Don't use sex to be forgiven? Don't skinny dip if there are seals around? If you are nice to homeless men the will expect you to sleep with them? What was the point? I guess to just make the reader hate themselves and humanity for a little while. As I said I did not finish it. I snuck the book onto a shelf in my hostel for someone else to find - honestly it felt like I was trying to pass on the tape from The Ring or something.

[Scotch Egg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a treat a rare treat in fact, I recommend reading it in bed with a brew and a sausage sarnie with a hint of brown sauce, as i did. I read the book in 4 days, the second day I had corned beef pie, chips and gravy, third night I opted for a ruby Murry with chips instead of rice and a garlic keema naan. The fourth day was a Thursday so I had my usual Thursday evening cheese ploughmans.
This Milward lad's a genius an absolute genius, I went through countless emotions reading the novel, joy, dispair, all out full on crazy laughter, at one point I had a pain in my left arm and a tight chest and at other times I had a dreadful itch around the shins and ankles.
I'm a big fan of Millard's crack and would love to hear his views on religion, the conflict in Syria or simply the state of the pound against the euro.
The grim reaper chapter is possibly the funniest thing I've ever read. Richard Milward I salute you..........cheers ta.

[Elle · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first half of this book I devoured in a single day. It was dangerously dark humour, definitely not for younger readers due to some of the extremely graphic scenes. The writing style is quirky, clever and quite gripping... But the end(s) is a double edged sword.

I thought it was very clever that the reader is acknowledged and given the chance to finish the story... But it also pains me that I can't finish it completely. I am such a completist, but I cannot bear to read any more endings! I read Hell, Heaven and the start of re-incarnation but I just don't care anymore.

In a way, I am disappointed. I read to be guided by the author. I understand WHY he has left the choice open but I don't want to be deciding and having to work!

ARGH. I am done!!!!

[Ellie Galaxies · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolutely ridiculous.

It's such a shame because towards the start of the book I was really enjoying it. The blurb sounded interesting and it'd been on my 'to read' shelf for a long time.

However when I finally got round to reading more than 150 pages of this book I was severely disappointed. Raped by a seal? What kind of ridiculous plot twist is that? It genuinely felt like my intelligence was being insulted.

I would also suggest avoiding this book if you are triggered by sexual violence or anything of the like. A lot of the content could be distressing.

I'm sorry but this was one of the worst books I've read in a while. So disappointed.

[Krystal Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finally finished the book I started reading two years ago, and it's been quite the journey. I remember enjoying it at first because of the unpredictability of not just Kimberly but the entire plot. As it was my first time diving into the choose-your-own-story genre, I was immediately hooked by how it guided me through its random twists and turns—until I had to play that game. The only expected thing was my bad luck, and as expected, I got to read the part where Kimberly goes to hell. I'm not going to reveal too much, but I am absolutely traumatized! Like who would even THINK OF THOSE STUFF AND PUT IT INTO WRITING? That’s why I had to take an unexpected two-year hiatus! Eventually, I decided to explore the other possible outcomes of her demise, and I was blown away by the diversity of endings. Milward, you are unhinged! That's all I can say. Although I am DEEPLY DISTURBED, I’m giving this book five stars for its originality. It evoked real emotions in me—mostly disgust and frustration—but that's a testament to its powerful storytelling.

[Emma Hoss · Rating 3 out of 5]

I need counseling after this

[Becca Milsom · Rating 1 out of 5]

I will start by saying the only positive comment i have to make on this book, which is that the writing style, although something i particularly did not like, was very unusual and different, which was somewhat interesting. Halfway through the book the author breaks the fourth wall and lets the reader decide Kimberly's fate, something i actually really liked the idea of.

However, this does not distract from the experience i felt whilst reading it. When i first started reading it, i thought it was eccentric from the get go and i found it really hard to connect with the character. Most of the way through i just became really annoyed with her (something i'm sure was on purpose but irritated me nonetheless). Overall, i found the 'path' of the book really jumbled and over the place, especially towards the end. Halfway through i just found the book really bizarre as it tackled situations that were really uncomfortable/unbelievable. When i finally finished the book, i felt physically sick as the topics that he went into were really twisted and horrible. The book has 6 alternative endings, and i planned to read only the one that i had chose, however, i decided to read the other five to see how it turned out. I wish i didn't. I only got through 2 other endings before i saw defeat and put the book down as it was so disgusting i did not want to read anymore (i don't want to give any spoilers about what happens, but trust me, it made me feel really uncomfortable and sick.)

Overall, the writing style, although interesting to read something different than the traditional writing style, was all over the place and made it harder for me to get into the book;i only laughed about twice through the whole thing, as the humor was really crude and just plain unfunny and the whole book itself just made me feel really uncomfortable and it sickened me. I am highly disappointment as i was really looking forward to reading this book, however, the blurb does nothing to showcase what this book is actually like and the sick topics it deals with. If you're thinking about reading it, i would recommend not to, as it was a huge disappointment, made me feel sick and overall the writing made it very hard to get into or connect with any of the characters. Really disappointed in this book and will not be reading Milward ever again.

[Samira Hales · Rating 1 out of 5]

As someone who has been blamed for someone attempting to commit suicide, I find this book extremely insulting and unrealistic.

When I discovered it in my local book shop, the blurb and premise seemed very brave of someone to write. I left it sitting on my shelf for a while as I wasn't sure how I would react to it, and what emotions it would stir inside of myself. However, when I finally did decide to read it I was truly disgusted. The plot is completely insulting and unrealistic, often vile at points and I feel that if anyone was in the same position I am in and was to pick up this book, don't even bother thinking about reading it. It feels as though the author is trying to mock anyone who has been or is in that situation which is incredibly insensitive.

A total waste of money that had such promise.

[Eliza Mckindley · Rating 1 out of 5]

What even was this book? When I read the blurb I was fully expecting a clever, relatable thought provoking story and I was disappointed greatly! The book starts to be seemingly normal and by the last chapters any sanity had gone out of the window. It wasn't a horror it was just messed up. The 'hell' chapter is truly sickening. A messed up book if ever there was one. Sorry, wasn't for me.

[Rena · Rating 2 out of 5]

Such a promising start and then...it just descended really quickly in the latter half of the book. Why'd it turn into a choose your own adventure with the most horrendously 2010s humour ever

[isaacq · Rating 2 out of 5]

crispy critters. this is gonna be a bit of a rant, i think. i could easily justify 1 or 2 stars for this review, but i am going with 2 because i have quite enjoyed Richard Milward's other books — and, to be fair, this did succeed in being unlike anything i have ever read.

the concept here was fascinating, and might have made for a great 150-200 page read. its length is one of the novel's 2 main problems; i almost DNF a dozen or so times through the second half, and only forced myself to the end for goodreads. that was an increasingly unpleasant slog, especially since the final 30-40 pages consist of unrelenting torture, incest and non-consensual sex, all of it somehow played for laughs.

the other big issue with Kimberly's Capital Punishment is that none of the characters in this world are as compelling or interesting as Milward seems to think they are. While I found the two other Milward novels I've read (Apples and Man-Eating Typewriter) to be populated with fascinating, multi-dimensional protagonists and antagonists, the characters here are mostly nothing-burgers. first off, we primarily learn about them only through the perceptions of our lead Kimberly, so the majority of the other characters exist solely as motivations for her actions. The few who do get fleshed out with their own narrative sections turn out to have wafer-thin characterisations.

in one of its more metafictional passages, the novel implies that it won't succeed with readers because it's a 460-page book about death. if you glance through my other reviews here, you'll see that novels about death are not something i shy away from. nor was it the countless look-how-shocking-i-can-be scenes that made the book off-putting for me. Milward just conceived of a fantastic short-story idea, then populated it with empty husks of characters and overwrote it for the better part of 500 pages.

some books are endurance tests but worth it. in that category i would put the Gormenghast trilogy (at least the first 2 books), Les Misérables, and to an extent even Milward's Man-Eating Typewriter. all of them are great enough to justify reading through difficult, slow or unpleasant sections. Kimberly's Capital Punishment is a torturous endurance test that almost bested me, and i'm sad to report it definitely wasn't worth it for me.

[Fiona · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kimberly's Capital Punishment is an adult's choose your own ending book - not something you see very often and such a unique idea. It follows Kimberley through the death of her boyfriend Stevie and then subsequently her own death, where you can decide her fate.

I struggled with the story in the first third of the book, it's a bit of a slog and I can understand if people don't make it through that. However, I feel that it's truly worth that hardship to make it to the part where she meets Death. From that point on the book is enjoyable, to a certain extent. This novel is not for everyone, in fact I'd say most people wouldn't enjoy it - it is crass, vulgar and quite frankly repugnant in places. It deals with suicide, incest, rape and a few other similar topics - there were sections I really wasn't sure why I kept reading. Kimberly is also a complete moron and I felt very frustrated with her actions over and over again. However, it is incredibly clever and how Richard Milward ties everything in together is brilliant.

3.5stars rounded up to 5.

[Sam · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is weird. Very post-modern in Milward’s deconstruction of what you expect a book to be. No topic is seemingly off-limits; from Kimberly contemplating eating her own excrement, casual prostitution, incest, battery, murder, suicide, STDs, blood from orifices, to name but a few. This book is vile and the characters are vile. Fantastical in its description but very creatively verging on the absurd. That said Milward can be given credit for his use of form with the inclusion of the reader and the writer in the narrative and the use of empty spaces for suspense, and columns to show two characters’ perspectives occurring simultaneously.

[Rhiannon Griffiths · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is perhaps the strangest book I've ever read! It was crude and vile at times and every laugh came with a sense of disgust in myself for finding such vulgar content funny! But, at the same time this book completely drew me in and yes, to certain friends I would recommend it!
The writing style was fascinating and I loved the characterisation of the Grim Reaper!

My only recommendation would be to rip out the pages of the ending where Kimberly goes to hell. I may as well have read that whilst holding a bucket for me to be sick in, it just went a bit too far for me...

[Danielle Murray · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/5 - Overall I liked the concept behind this book and the creativity that it displayed however I found the first half especially to be quite slow paced with no real plot line or direction and the last part I found to be difficult to read and disturbing. It is definitely not for the faint hearted and I would not recommend if you are looking for a more light-hearted contemporary but if you like books that push the boundaries and do not conform to the norms of book structure you may want to pick this one up.

[Hsu Jui-Ting · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this book some time ago; it’s a pleasant enough engagement until you get to the three-part ending, but I think I’d rather stick with Julio Cortazar’s Hopscotch - if only because the magnitude and sheer virtuosity of language emphasizes the level of wordplay.

Here, it just comes off as thoroughly insulting, like you’ve been roped into an overly-long Aristocrats payoff.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the strangest book I've ever read, in a good way. I love Milward's sense of humour and his unusual way of describing things. This book is a definitely a departure from the norm, and is worth a read if you're looking for something (very) different.

[Jennifer Fisher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny and really odd. Like nothing I’ve ever read - fast changing writing styles and weird storyline. Enjoyed it but couldn’t tell you what the point of the whole thing was...

Worth a go if you want something different and you don’t mind gritting your teeth through the graphic bits.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book. Found the main character embodied an early Fleabag or “I Hate Suzie” troubled woman that was enaging. Situations were funny and definitely dark. The way the story developed, while insane, I thought was still consistant with the tone. Ending was also excellently done.

[Jaiden Blake · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

[Alex Clare · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is both an imaginative, tightly plotted story and a litany of low self esteem, porn and misery which borders on the gratuitous. I read, I'm glad I read it. I'm not going to again.

[Charlie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love a dark comedy but there was something about this that meant I couldn’t finish it. It started off so well but I just can’t get into it.

[MisterHobgoblin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kimberly's Capital Punishment is an eccentric novel. Right from the outset, Kimberly reacts inappropriately to the sudden suicide of her boyfriend Stevie, turning it into a wordgame. There is more than a passing resemblance to Morvern Callar - both as a character and a novel - at this point.

As the novel progresses, there is an ever increasing disconnect between Kimberly's thought processes and her actions. She seems to be super-intelligent with a particular gift for mathematics, yet she lives a life hovering barely above homelessness and using sex to get what she wants. She is obsessed with her haircut (the Guillotine), her evil eyes and her clothes. The disconnect is really very funny and as Kimberly decides to do good deeds to atone for being unkind to Stevie, the distance between her perceptions and reality turns into farce.

Then, half way through the book, what was eccentric starts to become surreal. The reader is brought into the novel and asked to decide on one of six possible endings - perhaps by rolling a dice like in those fantasy gamebooks. It must be said that things get choppy at this point. Despite the instructions, most readers will read each of the six endings in sequence (and references to earlier endings in later ones indicate that this is the intention). But some endings are better than others. In particular, an ending focusing on a court case doesn't work at all.In an attempt at extreme post-modernism, the author appears and the whole feel is of an acid trip. But a courtroom drama might not be the most entertaining pairing for acid. It just feels puerile and dull. And the last ending of all really drags. This is a pity because some of the earlier endings are genuinely beautiful and finish on an emotional climax. Saving the (second) weakest for last is a mistake that makes the whole book finish on a whimper.

It's difficult to say more without giving things away. Kimberly's Capital Punishment is flawed; it is derivative in parts (sometimes to the point of citing the source that is being developed); and it is overly long. But it also has some wonderful ideas and the reader does genuinely feel for Kimberly by the end. Therefore it is worth reading, even if it may disappoint as much as delight.

[Nick Davies · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was massively impressed with Richard Milward's debut 'Apples' a few years ago (it felt like a 'Trainspotting' for my age and place), then was massively disappointed with his follow-up 'Ten Storey Lovesong' due to an impenetrable style choice (no chapters, no paragraphs, no pagination). I was consequently slightly apprehensive about this third novel by the same author.

I needn't have been. This novel deals with the consequences of young Kimberly, and her life following the suicide of her boyfriend. It's a deeply humourous, dark, moving, challenging, creative, involving and explicit novel - somewhere between Irvine Welsh, Chuck Palahniuk, Will Self and Douglas Coupland. I'm not going to give away the plot - essentially the bulk of the novel follows the eponymous heroine and her attempts to cope with and make up for her role in the death of her boyfriend, but it goes much further than that - but it was unusual and ambitious, and a very clever and enjoyable read.

However, I'm not giving it a five star mark because at times it was slightly too much for me. Not so much with regards the sexually explicit, taboo, surreal, upsetting, immoral subjects and bad language. Moreso with Milward trying a few too many different stylistic choices - disjointed narratives, different POVs, unusual paragraph/column structure, self-referential moments, and at times a lack of clarity about what was going on and when. Though the author may argue these were necessary for the structure of the story, for me they repeatedly broke the 'spell' and made me realise I was just reading a rather unusual story, not getting lost in something real.

[Cade West · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wouldn’t say the first half of this book is a masterpiece, but I did mostly enjoy it, and a few of the jokes made me chuckle. There’s nothing really beautiful about the writing, a lot of the humor seemed forced to me, and the prose in general seemed to be trying to hard to be funny and edgy in a way that really never dipped below the surface.

That being said, Kimberly is a unique character for fiction, maybe owing to how dumb she is and her terrible decision making skills, and I thought that the premise of her essentially prostituting herself off to multiple people in the name of being “nice” was an interesting idea. It never really comes to a satisfying conclusion or climax though, and her death kind of just comes out of nowhere midway through the book.

The second half of this thing is six different endings describing her afterlife experience. It comes across as a gimmick, and I would’ve much preferred a more well put together conclusion to Kimberly’s misadventures. I read the heaven and reincarnation endings, and then decided to continue no further. In short, this book was filled with a lot of interesting ideas and characters, neither of which are developed very far or in a satisfactory way. It’s also filled with a lot of graphic descriptions of violence and sex, which is probably the appeal for the people who like this book, but I found it to be pretty shallow and disgusting, devoid of any real substance or purpose, like pretty much every other aspect of this book.

4/10

[Hannah Reed · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretty much a DNF book. I started off this book thinking it was going to be absolutely brilliant, and it was.. for about 2 chapters. I thought the premise behind it was interesting, and the blurb had me hooked to read it, but I just didn't like it. There was a bit sort of in the middle where you do a 'choose your own ending' type thing, and I just chose the page closest to the end of the book so I could finish reading sooner. I think you may have had to roll a dice or something. Though the part I skipped to was confusing as well because she was in hell (like actual hell), being tortured or something which I just found too creepy.

This book seemed slightly messed up, and not in the way I could tolerate. I hated the amount of characters I had to try and keep up with, I hated the reason as to why her boyfriend killed himself, and to be honest I really hated Kimberley too. I can't get into a book if I don't like the main character, and she seemed like an antagonist, which is fine except there was no protagonist.

I've given it two stars only because I liked the first little part of this book, but after that it was just too crude and bizarre. I think this is the weirdest book I've ever tried to read.

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

I DNFd at pg 77. This book is a physically draining experience and I hated every second of it.

Initially I was intrigued by the premise of this book, and in a time before I started consulting goodreads for advice before starting books, that was the reason I picked it up. A choose your own adventure novel? It was something I'd never heard of before and something I really wanted to experience.

I started reading it last year but stopped because. I don't think it was because I hated it - I was in a pretty awful living situation and I read hardly anything at all in 2014. So I decided to give it a second chance because I thought maybe it would be better when I was happier.

NOPE! Wrong. The book was still absolutely terrible. Kimberly is a horrible character, but she's not a likeable villain like most horrible characters. She's just a terrible person. She bullies her boyfriend instead of dumping him like a decent human being. The last 'chapter' I read involved her being a NICE, altruistic person, yet she refers to the charity worker as an 'it', as though charity workers aren't even humans. Kimberly is a horrid piece of work and I'm quite frankly glad I've dumped her, which is far more than she deserves.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

In keeping with the 'we're all so different and that's what makes the world so exciting' rhetoric, this book might not be for everyone - I can't, for example, see my Nan listing it in her top 10.

I, however, thought it was absolutely fantastic. I'm not in the habit of reviewing things online (although I did once review myself anonymously) but the negative reviews for this book upset me so much that I decided to open a Good Reads account and leave a glittering 5* review.

I read the entire thing in two days, cancelling plans to stay at home with my nose between pages. It's hilarious, quirky and a bit dark, and I want to be mates with Kimberley. The 'choose your own adventure' path is brilliant, leading me to pester fellow tube commuters for a dice.

It's innovative, witty and so, so unique. Its up there for me with DBC Pierre's Vernon God Little, for books that I've so enjoyed reading that I have physically forced friends to sit and read it, standing over them like passive-aggressive sentinels.

Don't judge this book on someone's 'seal rape' or 'rough sex with Dad' spoilers (which by the way, aren't even spoilers...did this dude even read the book...) judge it on it's exceptional black humour, relentless pace and refreshingly honest character portrayals. Loved it.