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Baby Bumps: The Almost, Barely, Not-Quite-True Story of Pregnancy, Bed Rest and One Batshit Crazy Family
From the author of the award-winning blog Snarky Mommy comes a book that will make every woman who has ever been pregnant pee with laughter (not that that's hard). Wearing her highest heels and hottest pregnancy jeans, Amy Sprenger marched into her doctor's office, latte in hand, ready to finally see whether her baby was a boy or a girl. Sure, sure, this appointment was supposed to be about checking the health of the baby, but everyone who's ever been there knows it's really about looking for what lays, or doesn't lay, between the legs. So when the doctor tells her she has an incompetent cervix, Amy does what any woman would do. She becomes immediately offended. Is that a politically correct way of saying her cervix sucks? Unfortunately, as she's soon to learn, it's a lot more than that. The only way to keep that baby from falling out on the sidewalk (probably in front of Starbucks) is for her doctor to stitch her cervix closed and for Amy to stay in bed for the next four months. Four months that are carefully detailed in this "memoir." A memoir that, while basically true, has been embellished with Amy's signature brand of humor and hilarity. With more time off than a castoff contestant on "The Bachelor," Amy took pen to paper and settled in for the ride. But instead of sitting around eating bonbons, she's popping hypertension drugs to stave off preterm labor. And complications? Oh, she's got your complications. She's gut-rehabbing her house. Her mother moves in to care for her. Her husband takes a "mancation" while she's stuck in the hospital. And every time she has a contraction, she's convinced it's The Big One. Living by the adage that laughter is the best medicine, Amy fumbles her way through a series of sometimes serious and usually embarrassing situations. And just to be clear, using a bedpan qualifies as both serious and embarrassing. "Amy Sprenger's foray into factual fiction is a hilarious (and sometimes poignant) look at high-risk pregnancy from her view at the end of the bed. Sprenger offers a fresh and funny voice that readers will love!" --New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster
206 pages, Paperback
First published June 29, 2012
5 people are currently reading
122 people want to read
About the author
Amy Sprenger
5 books17 followersAmy Sprenger is the author of the award-winning blog SnarkyMommy.com, where she tells it like it is and isn't afraid to make fun of herself or her questionable parenting prowess. She has three young kids and a penchant for getting herself into ridiculous situations. A former news and sports reporter, Amy lives with her husband and children in Chicago's Lincoln Park neighborhood where she silently judges all the other parents.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
March 26, 2014
I received this as a free Kindle book and thoroughly enjoyed it. I loved the sarcastic wit about a tough subject. Annie and Jake are expecting their first child when suddenly they are thrown into the high risk pregnancy club. Having been there myself, I can relate to some of the things written about. I know that some readers found this couple obnoxious but sometimes you really need humor to get you through the tough spots in life. Annie was certainly very self centered and Jake was very patient. The book was written with true feelings and a strong dose of humor so it won in my book.
The best prescription would be to take two chocolate bars and rest while you read it. You will laugh out loud!
The best prescription would be to take two chocolate bars and rest while you read it. You will laugh out loud!
January 9, 2014
SARCASTIC FUN
I’m as much a fan of sarcasm as the next guy. It has a place as one of the roots of true humor, going back to the caveman days.
Caveman #1: “Do you think it would hurt if I hit myself on the head with this club?”
Caveman #2 (rolling his eyes): “Of course not. Go for it, dude.”
And the first concussion was born.
But it is possible to swim too deep in the sarcasm pool, and Dr. Clifford Lazarus of Psychology Today wrote that sarcasm is ‘hostility disguised as humor.’ I’m not sure I agree, but this came to mind when I read BABY BUMPS by Amy Sprenger. The plot line is pretty much a straight narrative of young mother-to-be Annie dealing with a difficult pregnancy, compounded by a difficult remodeling of their house, compounded by the meddling and support of concerned friends and family, compounded by a husband who doesn’t want the pregnancy to upset his enjoyment of fantasy football and other man-stuff. The pregnancy gets worse and worse, from Annie getting her cervix stitched up (ouch), in and out of the hospital and complete bed rest while surrounded by the banging and buzzing of construction workers.
At first the characters got in the way of my enjoyment of the book. Annie was self-absorbed, petty, vain and sarcastic. Other characters of the book, like her husband Jack, came across as shallow and unfeeling, at one point flinging a fork at his bed-ridden wife.
But as I kept reading a strange thing began happening. The feel of the book began changing. I don't know if I just started 'getting' the tone of the book, whether it just grew on me, or whether it just took a while for the humor to break out of the book. Annie’s hospital pedicure was hilarious and her freak out when Jake goes on his ski-‘man’cation while she's hospitalized was comic delight. And soon tender moments began popping up in the book - Annie’s poignant reunion with her mother - and the baby, sarcastically nicknamed the Blob throughout the book, began to emerge as soon-to-be real person. So out of a shaky beginning, a very fun tale emerged.
All in all, BABY BUMPS is a fun light read with truly comic moments.
Norm Cowie
Founder, Humor Writers of America
www.humorwritersofamerica.org
I’m as much a fan of sarcasm as the next guy. It has a place as one of the roots of true humor, going back to the caveman days.
Caveman #1: “Do you think it would hurt if I hit myself on the head with this club?”
Caveman #2 (rolling his eyes): “Of course not. Go for it, dude.”
And the first concussion was born.
But it is possible to swim too deep in the sarcasm pool, and Dr. Clifford Lazarus of Psychology Today wrote that sarcasm is ‘hostility disguised as humor.’ I’m not sure I agree, but this came to mind when I read BABY BUMPS by Amy Sprenger. The plot line is pretty much a straight narrative of young mother-to-be Annie dealing with a difficult pregnancy, compounded by a difficult remodeling of their house, compounded by the meddling and support of concerned friends and family, compounded by a husband who doesn’t want the pregnancy to upset his enjoyment of fantasy football and other man-stuff. The pregnancy gets worse and worse, from Annie getting her cervix stitched up (ouch), in and out of the hospital and complete bed rest while surrounded by the banging and buzzing of construction workers.
At first the characters got in the way of my enjoyment of the book. Annie was self-absorbed, petty, vain and sarcastic. Other characters of the book, like her husband Jack, came across as shallow and unfeeling, at one point flinging a fork at his bed-ridden wife.
But as I kept reading a strange thing began happening. The feel of the book began changing. I don't know if I just started 'getting' the tone of the book, whether it just grew on me, or whether it just took a while for the humor to break out of the book. Annie’s hospital pedicure was hilarious and her freak out when Jake goes on his ski-‘man’cation while she's hospitalized was comic delight. And soon tender moments began popping up in the book - Annie’s poignant reunion with her mother - and the baby, sarcastically nicknamed the Blob throughout the book, began to emerge as soon-to-be real person. So out of a shaky beginning, a very fun tale emerged.
All in all, BABY BUMPS is a fun light read with truly comic moments.
Norm Cowie
Founder, Humor Writers of America
www.humorwritersofamerica.org
July 16, 2012
HILARIOUS!!! This book had me laughing out loud all by myself! I am 8 months pregnant and in total need of a laugh attack! She is funny, endearing, and a little bit crazy, but her stories are so well told that you feel like you are there! Even if they aren't totally true (her words not mine) it makes you wish it was!
January 20, 2014
When Shirley You Jest! Book Awards asked me to review their Shirley LOL winner, Baby Bumps: The Almost, Barely, Not-Quite-True Story of Pregnancy, Bed Rest and One Batshit Crazy Family by Amy Sprenger, I was intrigued after reading the Acknowledgments; I so understood and appreciated Sprenger's tart humor as well as her point of view,
". . . James Frey and A Million Little Pieces and- boom- everybody was all up in arms about 'fabrication' and 'truth.' What a drag. Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us, James" (Loc 31 of 4504). Definitely, a spoiled apple will certainly ruin the bunch.
The fictionalized (based on true occurrences) story of a woman and her husband facing (with as much sass as humanly possible) a high-risk pregnancy due to an incompetent cervix, Baby Bumps brought to mind my own two high-risk pregnancies which included preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, somogyi effect, and on and on and on. Thus, the description of the perinatal unit in the hospital was spot on:
Each and every morning, Dr. Fake [the resident] knocks on the door at 6:25 a.m. and asks how the night was, how I'm feeling and if I have had any pain, bleeding or gush of fluids. And every morning I sit straight up in bed in alarm and try to act as natural as possible without my contacts in and without brushing either my hair or my teeth. (Loc 1633-34 of 4504)
In addition, Sprenger's uncanny way of rationalizing and portraying less than kempt circumstances in a young marrieds home made me giggle and look around my own house in horror (with no longer the newlywed or newly moved in excuse):
. . . the actual shower curtain, which has seen better days. I am going to pretend the black marks on the bottom are just discolorations in the vinyl, not a flesh-eating mold lying in wait for a tasty ankle to latch on to. (Loc 256-7 of 4504)
. . . the guest room, which is currently stacked floor to ceiling with moving boxes, tools, [and] laundry baskets full of crap we never packed into actual boxes . . .. (Loc 1270-1 of 4504)
For the purposes of book club, definitely avoid the glucose friendly dietary restrictions reserved for pregnant mothers suffering from gestational diabetes (been there and done that). Instead, if in the Chicago area, load up on the baby-blue cupcakes from Sweet Mandy B's offered at Annie's hospital baby shower.
". . . James Frey and A Million Little Pieces and- boom- everybody was all up in arms about 'fabrication' and 'truth.' What a drag. Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us, James" (Loc 31 of 4504). Definitely, a spoiled apple will certainly ruin the bunch.
The fictionalized (based on true occurrences) story of a woman and her husband facing (with as much sass as humanly possible) a high-risk pregnancy due to an incompetent cervix, Baby Bumps brought to mind my own two high-risk pregnancies which included preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, somogyi effect, and on and on and on. Thus, the description of the perinatal unit in the hospital was spot on:
Each and every morning, Dr. Fake [the resident] knocks on the door at 6:25 a.m. and asks how the night was, how I'm feeling and if I have had any pain, bleeding or gush of fluids. And every morning I sit straight up in bed in alarm and try to act as natural as possible without my contacts in and without brushing either my hair or my teeth. (Loc 1633-34 of 4504)
In addition, Sprenger's uncanny way of rationalizing and portraying less than kempt circumstances in a young marrieds home made me giggle and look around my own house in horror (with no longer the newlywed or newly moved in excuse):
. . . the actual shower curtain, which has seen better days. I am going to pretend the black marks on the bottom are just discolorations in the vinyl, not a flesh-eating mold lying in wait for a tasty ankle to latch on to. (Loc 256-7 of 4504)
. . . the guest room, which is currently stacked floor to ceiling with moving boxes, tools, [and] laundry baskets full of crap we never packed into actual boxes . . .. (Loc 1270-1 of 4504)
For the purposes of book club, definitely avoid the glucose friendly dietary restrictions reserved for pregnant mothers suffering from gestational diabetes (been there and done that). Instead, if in the Chicago area, load up on the baby-blue cupcakes from Sweet Mandy B's offered at Annie's hospital baby shower.
August 18, 2012
Described as the Almost, Barely, Not-Quite-True Story of Pregnancy, Bed-Rest, and One Bat-Shit Crazy Famiy and that about sums it up. Everything was going hunky dory in Annie's life until her u/s to check on the gender, er the health, of her baby and then it went downhill with incompetent cervix, irritable uterus, 4mos of complete bedrest with a complete remodel of their home in progress.
Amy is the author of the award-winning blog, Snarky Mommy, and brings her singular humor and wit to a situation that was insane in the extreme. She manages to poke fun of herself and her situation but then the screen lowers and you see what the humor hides. Having had high-risk pregnancies and been on hospital bedrest with a husband who was cracking jokes while I snarked, I found myself by turns laughing at the absurdity and crying at remembered fears. A fantastic read!
Amy is the author of the award-winning blog, Snarky Mommy, and brings her singular humor and wit to a situation that was insane in the extreme. She manages to poke fun of herself and her situation but then the screen lowers and you see what the humor hides. Having had high-risk pregnancies and been on hospital bedrest with a husband who was cracking jokes while I snarked, I found myself by turns laughing at the absurdity and crying at remembered fears. A fantastic read!
December 3, 2013
There isn't anything funny about pregnancy complications. But when Amy Sprenger talks about her experience in and out of the hospital while a baby is incubating in her belly, it's non-stop laughter. With witty dialogue and amusing side-remarks, Amy turns a nightmarish nine months into a hilarious tale of love and family.
As the first place winner of the 2013 Shirley You Jest competition, there is no doubt that Baby Bumps is funny. Amy starts the book wearing a "knocked up" T-shirt and spends most of the book with her pants down and her legs spread... on the exam table, that is. Somehow, she manages to takes her readers through an in-depth explanation of cervix incompetency and surgery procedures, all the while maintaining her laugh-out-loud humor.
...read more at UndergroundBookReviews(dot)com
As the first place winner of the 2013 Shirley You Jest competition, there is no doubt that Baby Bumps is funny. Amy starts the book wearing a "knocked up" T-shirt and spends most of the book with her pants down and her legs spread... on the exam table, that is. Somehow, she manages to takes her readers through an in-depth explanation of cervix incompetency and surgery procedures, all the while maintaining her laugh-out-loud humor.
...read more at UndergroundBookReviews(dot)com
January 31, 2014
A cute easy read with a lot of sarcasm throughout the book. While I can appreciate sarcasm and humour I felt like the author overloaded it every chance she got. I found Annie and jake to be completely obnoxious and juvenile almost to the point where it felt like they should not be having a child since they themselves were behaving like petulant children, however when they would have a rare softer moment they felt likeable. Happy for their happy ending but throughout the book I found myself really annoyed by them, especially Annie.
January 23, 2015
I don't think I've ever read a book before that I would rate as both poignant and pee-your-pants funny, but this one definitely hits that mark. If sarcasm is not your brand of humor, or you can't relate to dealing with stress and trauma by laughing at it, then this book is NOT for you. If, on the other hand, you make lemon meringue pie whenever life hands you lemons, and then smash it in life's face, you will love this book!
January 26, 2013
Cute, quirky way to read the story of a woman put on bed rest for half of her pregnancy. It was interesting to see it from her perspective (and to read all these witty sarcasms I only wish to be able to think of someday) as she lets the reader know how serious the situation was but also keeps it upbeat so as not to make the book depressing.
October 13, 2012
Honestly is the best policy, right...well that is what Amy Sprenger thinks as she writes about pregnancy motherhood and really life in general. The story is funny, honest and raw. Spenger holds nothing back and I could relate to her and her struggles. This is a great read for all mothers, but beware: you will laugh, you could cry and you will have fun reading this book: 5 stars!!!
March 5, 2013
I was hooked on this book by the end of the second page - I literally thought about going home and reading it nonstop over the past week and got embarrassed when I caught myself smiling at it/might have giggled out loud while I was waiting for an eye appt. I'm also not too proud to admit I leaked a few tears, on more than one occasion. Clearly, I loved this book.
October 27, 2015
I really liked this book because I could relate to the story. The book started when the main character was 20 weeks pregnant and that was exactly where i was in my pregnancy, dealing with a lot of the same issues and frustrations as the main character. Great read for a pregnant women wanting a laugh.
September 9, 2012
Best pregnancy "fiction-ish" book I have ever read. This book is hilarious! I love all the snarky comments layered with the real life moments and touching moments. A great read for anyone who is pregnant or has had a baby.
February 4, 2013
I really enjoyed this story of a woman's experience being high risk throughout her pregnancy. I do wish it would have continued with the life after pregnancy side because that's when the real din begins.
March 15, 2014
The stories are hysterical and will definitely resonate with anyone whose gone through pregnancy and childbirth. But the narrator is so annoying, self-centered, and unappreciative that it makes the book hard to read at times.
January 23, 2014
As someone who also spent 14 weeks on bed rest, only get up to pee, no such thing as showers, I found this book hysterical. The author really captures the hardships that become life stories once that bundle of joy is in your arms.
February 19, 2014
So relatable
This book is a great read before or after birth! I read it while pregnant with my second and it's an honest, refreshing look at the horrors and miracles of pregnancy, delivery, and becoming a new mommy!
This book is a great read before or after birth! I read it while pregnant with my second and it's an honest, refreshing look at the horrors and miracles of pregnancy, delivery, and becoming a new mommy!
August 3, 2012
Good read. Looking forward to reading more by Amy Sprenger. She has a great sense of humor that most moms can relate too.
August 20, 2012
You do not have to be pregnant or a parent to enjoy this book. All you need is a good sense of humor. This book will definitely make you laugh and possibly make you cry.
July 31, 2012
Funny as heck. Was tge author self centered heck yeah but so are most pregnant women at some point. Loved Jake the husband and Jake tge contractor.
August 4, 2012
This book was hilarious and I would recommend it to just about anyone wanting a light hearted, funny, and fast paced book.
April 27, 2015
I really enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to the sequel :)
August 13, 2012
Overall, nice, entertaining, short read. I kept waiting for the author's husband to turn into the bad guy though, bc it seemed like they hated each other until the end.
October 1, 2012
This book made me laugh at so many things because its the truth.... Great read!!
October 3, 2012
Quick and fun read, I laughed out loud quite a bit.
January 24, 2013
Laughed out loud several times with this book! A must read when you are expecting!
January 26, 2013
I love a book that makes me laugh out loud and this one did just that from start to finish!
January 26, 2013
Cute and Funny! Fast read!
April 28, 2013
Just a fast read. Was trying to find something relatable. Didn't really succeed at that but it was a fast easy read.
January 13, 2014
Thoroughly enjoyed this book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews