I give this book 2-stars, only because I did like the beginning, and the ending was mildly amusing, too.
It started out very promising. In the beginning, the book is funny, promising and pulls you in quickly. Jude is walking out at night, finds and saves a dog. The dog is cute, he keeps him. Just when things start to look up for Jude, however, he's forced through 'the veil' along with the dog and finds himself in a middle ages setting instead of modern day Chicago. This is when the book takes a dive downhill, for me.
The adorable dog turns into a man named Eoin Thral. The man is nothing like the dog, he's basically a he-man brute who treats Jude like his property, something he owns, not a person with thoughts and feelings. This is also when Jude turns into a chick-with-a-dick, all of a sudden.
Eoin first gags Jude, then threatens him, while offering no explanation about anything whatsoever. Then he decides to have sex with Jude, and says, "You will not deny me; ’tis not your right." Which is the exact moment I realized there's no way in hell I can remotely like this character. When Jude goes along with it like it's the best idea ever I realize I can't really like Jude either. Eoin is then surprised that Jude is willing to have sex with him, because apparently no one's ever been willing before. He either raped women or paid for sex, as it later turned out.
Jude however, is ecstatic that he found someone to love and treasure him, someone who made him feel safe. Um, what? So, being treated like a blow-up doll or a property, basically, is a show of love? Just what the hell. At this point, I started to really wonder what the author was thinking.
All right, so after having sex (with no lube or preparation btw, and Jude loved it because it only hurt for a second. wtf), they continue on to Eoin's 'keep' where they meet his baroness. She takes one look at Jude and says, “Brown,” she said breathlessly. “I have never seen such a color.” referring to his eyes. She lives in a medieval whatever country and she's never seen the color brown? What? That's never explained, but throughout their journey in the medieval side of the 'veil' everyone who meets Jude reacts like that to his eyes.
The other Guardians need to have a talk immediately, so Jude is sent away to Eoin's rooms. Eoin didn't bother to think whether or not Jude was hungry or needed anything, it was just like, "see you later", only in his medieval talk. But Jude doesn't care much that he's in a strange place and there's no explanations, he's too busy thinking the following, "He could depend on Eoin. Eoin would be his rock, and that certainty was filling him with thoughts that were new and disturbing as well as warm and solid. Jude, who had never wanted a home, suddenly wanted one desperately. He could see himself cooking for the man, ironing his shirts, buying vitamins, and going grocery shopping."
What. He's a man, for fuck's sake. Or, at least, it's what he was supposed to be. Hm.
The story continues, there's a show of Jude's foolish heroics (apparently he's fearless to the point of sheer idiocy,) when they are chased through a forest at night and the only way to escape their pursuers is to jump into a roaring waterfall, Jude grabs the baroness and is like, "let's jump, it's cool I'm a trained lifeguard". Then he saves her, and even one of their pursuers.
Then Jude goes back through the veil, while Eoin stays to fight a war promising he'll be back. Jude goes back to work, where everyone loves him, his ex tries to win him back, and the man his ex cheated on him with is desperate for a date with Jude, as well. I don't think there was a single person who did not love Jude in this book. None.
Everyone loves Jude, he charms people left and right at the drop of a hat, and halfway through the book I was thinking, "This should've been titled Everyone Loves Jude, or Jude the Fair, or something." He is described as perfect, elegant, graceful, perfect, beautiful, charming, perfect, fragile, etc. His perfect looks (smooth skin, full lips, luscious locks etc) are described in full detail several times. Okay, we get it, he's beautiful and perfect. In fact, there seemed to be no flaw in Jude. He's amazing, unforgettable, irreplaceable, etc. He gets several swift promotions at work, because he's just that good, okay?
Eoin comes back, offers little explanation to the events that took place in his six months absence, but what does Jude care when now they can have a sex marathon? Fast forward some months, Eoin seamlessly transfered into an entirely new and different world of modern day Chicago, his business is booming, everyone thinks he's amazing, he's doing extraordinarily well, Jude's family loves him, and bla bla you get the idea, he's now also perfect.
There wasn't a single likable character in the book. There was too much happening too fast with no real explanations or solid conclusions. Too much 'tell' not enough 'show', where the descriptions would do good there wasn't any, but when it came to describing Jude's virtues there was an abudance. The characters seemed flat, their thought processes I never could figure out, there were no explanations for most their actions, no real background or, anything.
What the 'veil' is and how it works is never explained. Why the other side of the 'veil' is middle ages? Never explained. The fact that Eoin talks medieval and Jude speaks modern day language is jarring, also, Jude keeps going, "I hafta go to the store, I hafta bla bla, HAFTA." What the hell? Is that supposed to be a show of his accent or something? It was annoying as hell, because save for numerous 'hafta' and 'ya' there weren't any other indications to his accent.
Another thing that annoyed me to no end is the continuous use of the character's full names, as in, "We hafta talk Eoin Thral!" or, "You are my own Jude Shea!" Annoying. I got their full names the first fifty times they were used.
The ending was amusing, though, and there were some funny moments in the book, but they couldn't outweigh all the other things I mentioned that were less than stellar.
Anyone who likes a "he-man + chick-with-a-dick = adventure" will probably like this book.