Waarom we mediteren: De wetenschap en praktijk van een kalmere geest

by Daniel Goleman, Barbara Lampe (Translator), Tsoknyi Rinpoche

In Waarom we mediteren laten bestsellerauteur Daniel Goleman en gerenommeerd meditatieleraar Tsoknyi Rinpoche zien hoe meditatie een tegengif kan zijn voor ons gejaagde bestaan. In onze moderne en hectische maatschappij voelen velen zich overweldigd, paniekerig en gespannen. In hoofdstukken over onder andere ademhaling, compassie en bezorgdheid delen ze wetenschappelijk bewezen en gemakkelijk uit te voeren oefeningen die je zullen helpen mentale obstakels aan te pakken. Door oosterse tradities te combineren met neurowetenschappelijk onderzoek bieden Goleman en Rinpoche een frisse kijk op meditatie. Deze gids zal je geest kalmeren en bevrijden, of je nu bekend bent met mediteren of niet.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Meditation, Self Help, Philosophy, Buddhism, Health

206 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 25, 2022

About the author

Author of Emotional Intelligence and psychologist Daniel Goleman has transformed the way the world educates children, relates to family and friends, and conducts business. The Wall Street Journal ranked him one of the 10 most influential business thinkers.

Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence was on The New York Times best sellers list for a year-and-a-half. Named one of the 25 "Most Influential Business Management Books" by TIME, it has been translated into 40 languages. The Harvard Business Review called emotional intelligence (EI) “a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea.”

Goleman’s new book, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, argues that attention — a fundamental mental ability for success — has come under siege. Leadership that gets results demands a triple focus: on our inner world so we can manage ourselves; on others, for our relationships; and on the outer forces that shape our organizations and society itself.

His more recent books include The Brain and Emotional Intelligence, and Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence - Selected Writings.

Reviews

[Liong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! I read another book about meditation or mindfulness practice.

Tsoknyi Rinpoche and Daniel Goleman shared their experience and the techniques of meditation for both beginners and experienced meditators.

I like this quote "Whatever happens, happens. Whatever doesn't happen, doesn't happen."

The author came up with a clear understanding of meditation's benefits and provides a blueprint for incorporating meditation into daily life, leading to a calmer, more focused, and balanced mind.

I tried some of the simple practices. Feeling great!

[Natalie Fetzer]

Dnf... because it was so badly edited. I feel bad criticizing people who are writing in their second or third language, but my criticism isn't of Rinpoche. My criticism is of the folks at Simon and Schuster, one of the major publishers, for allowing this book to go out like this.

At least once every chapter there were incorrect words...like "what" instead of "that"...or double words...like "root root"...or just incomprehensible sentences that a decent editor would have fixed. I just couldn't take it.

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why We Meditate gives insightful guidance on breaking from negative patterns, understanding and accepting our 'monsters,' and being ourselves. The book provides tools and practices for navigating through obstacles, challenges, and problems, whether in our relationships or inside our feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

Drop it. If you can't change anything, why worry? If you can change something, why worry?

The vision of this book is to help create healthy people in every sense: grounded, warm-hearted, clear-minded people who have the energy and natural inclination to help others.

I found the book a bit dull. It's not that it didn't have some good things in it, but it didn't hold my attention, and it felt like a textbook.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am an experienced and intermittent meditator and I found this book immensely helpful with my current practice. The well-known authors offer a well-balanced array of essays and practical suggestions that are a perfect balance of science and stories/examples from their own lives and practices. This is a good book for new as well as experienced meditators.

Thanks to NetGalley, the author and publisher for an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Keven Wang · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a big fan of the structure. A bit fragmented.

[Sherry]

Not feeling this one. Dnffing at 28%. At this point in my practice I’m not looking to shift my understanding and perspectives and feel no need to. The idea of learning about schemas seemed like a lot of unnecessary and for me personally, needless effort. It’s possible that someone approaching this fresh to their practice and newly on the journey of self care might find this to be right up their alley, but for me, it’s a pass.

[Coloma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Si os interesa este tema de la respiración consciente, el equilibrio mental y la gestión del estrés, os lo recomiendo.
Es muy ameno y amable además. Y, también, viene con consejos de prácticas concretas.

[Nancy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just did not connect with this book. Rinpoche’s parts often felt rambling and difficult to follow; long explanations that left me still grasping at the meaning. Maybe that was trouble with ‘translating’. There were quite a number of editorial issues throughout the book. It’s usually difficult for me to overlook those.

I DID like chapter 7, Calm and Clear. That was the best part of the entire book for me.

I’m sure there are a number of good things I can glean from the book. It will take some more work to dig them out.

[Marla Nayer · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have read enough about meditation to know that there is good research to show it is effective for many things. The sections written by Daniel Goleman I enjoyed. The sections written by Tsoknyl Rinpoche were more philosophical and talked about things like “essential love” and various meditation approaches to address specific mental situations, such as “rushing stream experience” and “meandering stream experience.” I wasn’t so much interested in those. A couple mantras that were suggested: 1) “So what! Who cares? No big deal.” 2) “Whatever happens, happens. Whatever doesn’t happen, doesn’t happen.” It’s not a long book, which was good. I’ve read other books on meditation that were more interesting to me.

[Electra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure what I thought this book would be, but this wasn't it. Each chapter has more of the philosophical/eastern way of thinking about meditation and then Goldman comes in later with the science. It seemed a bit disjointed to me and for me it didn't adequately answer the question as to why we meditate. It did offer some pretty general tips about meditation exercises though. 2.75 stars.

[Pia Bröker · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was looking for a book about the science of meditation, and this was not really it. Still, I learned something about meditation and how and why other people meditate. Will look into this topic a bit more over the coming year, as I am currently trying to get back into a habit of meditation with Headspace.

[Dakota Cruceana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is excellent for anyone trying to learn and understand more about meditation. Honestly, some of the chapters in this book were quite hard to understand. However, there was so much new information and insights I learned from this book as well. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is looking to learn more about themselves— their emotions— and meditation as a practice.

[Sabine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Er zijn niet veel boeken waar ik zó veel van heb kunnen leren over mijn geestelijke gezondheid - en nog direct toepassen ook - als dit boek. De auteurs beschrijven meditatietechnieken, gevolgd door de wetenschappelijke onderbouwing waaróm deze technieken werken. Niet zweverig, wel heel praktisch.

[Erin McMahon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the mix of anecdotal and scientific research

[Haki · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Short moments, many times” serves as a reminder to regularly practice these mental moves; they will then occur more often and more naturally.

Handshake lets our awareness be with whatever is happening in our feeling world without judgment, without resistance.

Continue to practice being; give it some time. Don’t rush into anything. There is nothing to accomplish. You are making friends, and it takes time. Once you can be, just keep being and wait. Waiting is also kindness, compassion. Practice patience. Here patience doesn’t mean an agenda like, I’ll be patient with you until you go away and leave me alone. Such an agenda can sidetrack the practice. Here patience means:

Something magical and unexpected happens when we stop trying to fix the beautiful monsters, when we stop trying to make them go away.

Inner hollowness plus modern consumer culture is a dangerous combination.

It is particularly important for children to feel a background of unconditional love.

Any such factor can disrupt and change the experience at any time. So we have to learn acceptance, we have to learn change, we have to learn to let go. We have to find our essence love without depending on so many conditions. Actually, essence love does not depend on any such conditions.

handshake practice is so important, all along. Any hindrances, blockages, at any point, have to open up. The way to open up is handshake.

The second kind of happiness, more steady, comes from within and stays with us no matter what occurs. That’s what Tsoknyi Rinpoche calls essence love, with its telltale feeling of okayness, where we can be happy for no particular reason—that is, not depending on something outside ourselves to make us feel good.

Research at Harvard and elsewhere finds that the more our mind wanders, the worse we feel. So, for instance, the more time people spend doomscrolling on their mobile phones, the more likely they are to report being depressed.

from the Buddhist point of view, all sentient beings innately possess love and compassion.

we train in various reasons that all human beings are basically the same: we are all equal in wanting happiness and in wanting not to suffer.

One powerful antidote to irritation, anger, and hatred is to consider that people who harm us or behave in ways we dislike are overcome by afflictive emotions.

Compassion, on the other hand, focuses on the widespread suffering in this world and wishes to relieve it, both for yourself and for others.

Everything is a result of causes and conditions; everything depends on many other things. Whatever happens, at some basic level, is just a temporary occurrence arising due to the coming together of the necessary causes and conditions. This can help us get out of the blame game, and out of victim mentality.

One night a nice spiritual man living in California was getting ready for bed. He lit some incense and did a few minutes of “compassion meditation” before climbing under his soft organic sheets. He wanted to feel fresh and look good the next morning at work, so he was looking forward to a good, restful sleep. But then the phone rang. A friend was feeling really sick and asked if the man could take her to the hospital. He took a deep breath. Part of him wanted to be the kind of person who did that, but he also really wanted to sleep well and feel fresh in the morning. The desire for good rest won, and he apologized in a soothing voice and said he couldn’t do it, but he really hoped she found someone to take her, really hoped she felt better. When the phone call ended, he crawled back under his sheets and tried to go to sleep. But feelings of guilt kept coming up, and he tossed and turned for a while. Maybe I should have helped her.… I would want my friends to help me if I was sick.… I guess I could go there now and see if she is okay.… But he still didn’t want to get dressed, drive out into the night, and deal with the bright lights of the hospital. After a while, the guilty and conflicted feelings got so strong that he got up, put on his soft organic robe, and went back to his cozy meditation cushion. He breathed deeply in and out, sending his friend compassion and healing energy. After a while he felt better and was able to fall asleep. While the breathing practice and his prayers could seem compassionate, his intention was to pacify his own guilty feelings and be able to sleep. His motivation was about his own well-being. That is the practice of “California compassion.” We have a right to have boundaries and to take care of ourselves. But we shouldn’t call what he did an act of compassion. That isn’t fair to genuine acts of compassion. We should call what he did self-care—he took care of himself. The difference in my mind is being willing to suffer. Deeper compassion involves a willingness to be uncomfortable, a willingness to suffer, in order to benefit others. This takes some guts; courage is a big deal in the topic of love and compassion. It’s what breaks us out of limiting beliefs, emotional patterns, and fear. In any particular situation, we may suffer or we may not suffer, but compassion is willing to suffer. The benefit of others becomes more important than avoiding discomfort for ourselves. This is something most parents, especially of young children, express every day. But we can also train in this attitude and strengthen the seeds within us.

lojong: means “mind-training.”

Equalizing Self and Other Begin by taking a comfortable posture and relaxing with awareness. Contemplate that you yourself deep down want to be happy and want not to suffer. Now contemplate that others deep down want to be happy and want not to suffer. Consider that in this regard, yourself and others are exactly the same.

Exchanging Self and Other The second mind-training is exchanging self and other. It’s like imagining walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. You put yourself in their place, their mind, their life. You imagine their feelings, thoughts, and struggles. The more you understand them, the more you “wear their shoes.”

Begin by relaxing with awareness. Bring to mind someone in a difficult situation. Imagine putting yourself in their position. Imagine how you would feel. Imagine the mental, emotional, and physical struggles you might have. Allow a deep care and compassion to wash over your being. Extend those feelings first to that person and then to all beings. Repeat with many different people in many different situations. This is particularly helpful when someone is challenging for you.

Begin by relaxing into awareness. Reflect on how many beings there are in the world, human and animal, and how many of you there are. Ask yourself the question, Which is more important, the happiness of one being or the happiness of countless beings? Think of all the care and concern you have for yourself. Imagine that spiraling outward instead of inward, directed toward the service of all beings.

Let yourself realize how your body is the products of others. You were literally made by others. Every meal, every glass of water, every opportunity you’ve had that has sustained you, comes from the kindness of others. Consider that you could not exist or survive without them. REFLECT: How wonderful it would be if I could repay the kindness of others! How wonderful it would be if my body, my mind, my energy, and all my efforts were beneficial to others! May everything I do be a cause for the happiness and freedom of others!

As before, take a comfortable posture, sitting or lying down, with your back straight, while being as relaxed as possible. Begin by dropping awareness into the body. Allow the embodied awareness to extend to the feeling world for a little while. Try to connect with the basic okayness underlying the feeling world. Try to notice a subtle warmth or well-being underneath anything that is happening on the surface of the feeling world. If you can connect with essence love, allow it to suffuse your whole being. Nurture your connection to essence love. If you cannot connect, don’t worry, handshake whatever is happening. Come back to this again and again.

The Dalai Lama often says, “The first person to benefit from compassion is the one who feels it.”

In many Asian countries people revere Kuan Yin, a goddess of compassion; in Tibet the equivalent would be Noble Tara. Her name translates as “the one who listens and hears the cry of the world in order to come help.”

Mindfulness comes out of awareness.

Through deliberate effort mindfulness becomes one with awareness.

If judgments come up, and feelings of failure or wanting to give up, try to handshake them.

The waterfall experience is a good sign; it means we are actually starting to work with the mind.

Alternating handshake practice with mindfulness practice can be very helpful.

Science now verifies this calming benefit. People who practice simple mindfulness of the breath, for instance, become more relaxed in their daily lives and recover from upsets more quickly than non-meditators. The method seems to calm the amygdala, so that we are pitched into the fight-or-flight state less often.

The mindfulness practice seems to have improved their working memory, the aspect of memory crucial for retaining what you learn from studying. On the other hand, a word of advice from my own experiences to those just starting to do this kind of meditation practice: When they begin meditating many people complain that their mind wanders constantly; some even conclude they can’t do the practice at all—their mind is too wild. That’s what happened to me. Actually, this can be a good sign: When we begin to pay attention to our mind’s coming and going—that is, first become mindful—we see how distracted our mind usually is. This is a first step in becoming more mindful and in taming the wandering mind.

In reality, happiness exists interdependently. This means we have to take care of others’ well-being. But when we are manifesting the self-cherishing I, we feel the urge for happiness for ourselves—and that cannot be achieved, because our happiness depends on that of others. When everything is all about me, we become very lonely. A key sign of the self-cherishing I is the selfish search for happiness for only myself.

in reality, nothing is really independent, including our sense of self. Things are interdependent; everything depends on other things. The tree depends on rain, air, soil, sunlight, and insects for pollination. Our bodies depend on food, water, air, and so many other things to survive. If we want to thrive, we depend on even more conditions. Everything is connected to so many things.

Use your understanding of impermanence, interdependence, and multiplicity. Things may seem obstructive and oppressive, tight and serious, but these themselves are shifting perceptions. Use your practice of letting go. Whatever the weather may be, the sky remains open and accommodating. Keep finding the points of tension and tightness in the body, feeling world and mind, and releasing them.

[Belinda (Belle) Witzenhausen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a complimentary ARC copy of Why We Meditate: The Science and Practice of Clarity and Compassion by Daniel Goleman and Tsoknyi Rinpoche from NetGalley and Atria Books. in order to read and give an honest review.

“… an honest and inspirational read, I really found this book helpful and wholeheartedly recommend it…”

Why We Meditate: The Science and Practice of Clarity and Compassion is a book that thoughtfully blends eastern spiritual meditation practices with modern psychological research that supports and explains meditation from a neurological/psychological perspective. Familiar to many for his books Emotional Intelligence, The Brain and Emotional Intelligence, and Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence, author Daniel Goleman offers his experience to support and demystify meditation along with renowned teacher of Tibetan Buddhism, Tsoknyi Rinpoche.

Both authors have brilliantly crafted a wonderful book on meditation suitable for both novice and experienced meditators alike. Offering step-by-step instructions on various meditation practices designed to bring awareness to disruptive emotions such as anxiety and anger just to name a few that if not acknowledged become obstacles to our peace of mind.

This book is an honest and inspirational read, I really found it helpful, and I wholeheartedly recommend it. It will definitely be a book I return to repeatedly as my meditation practice deepens, learning more each time I read it.

[Jerry Wall]

Subjective anecdotes on meditation. Tend to talk about meditation in analogies.
Good listing at end of what their terms mean and suggestions about how to think these
words into your program of closing your eyes and count your breaths.

[joyce w. laudon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many know of Daniel Goleman for his writings on emotional intelligence. With that credential, he seems to me to be the perfect guide to learning more about and understanding meditation.

Meditation seems in some ways to be a deceptively simple practice but it is actually complex. Daniel Goleman will help readers to understand how this Eastern practice can help us in our world that is, at times, filled with the negative.

There is lots of advice in this book. This is a case where the advice is professional and based upon neuroscience. It will help those who pick it up to let go of some negative influences on their lives.

I think that both those who already practice mindfulness and/or meditation will find much to contemplate in this excellent guide. A few of the chapter titles include What This Book Offers You, Beautiful Monsters, and Calm and Clear. Definitely worth a read.

Note that Goleman’s co-author is a well known teacher of Buddhist meditation. He offers the practice and Goleman the science; a terrific collaboration in a book that is full of things to try.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Atria Books for this title. All opinions are my own.

[John Wu, Jr. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book for beginners like me. The practices are simple to follow and stories are fun. The commentary that explains meditation from a "western medicine" standpoint was very helpful to me in understanding the concepts. I never learned about meditation, but was acquainted with the concept at yoga.

[Malak · Rating 2 out of 5]

The topic is meaningful, but the content felt basic and lacked depth. Some ideas were useful, yet the overall delivery didn’t offer much beyond what’s already widely known. Expected more insight from such a strong title.

[Claire Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

The pairing of the spiritual descriptions and practice to the science was really enriching. This book was also a great complement to How to Change Your Mind - psychedelics and meditation can yield the same results around suppression of the ego, and greater compassion and empathy. Will definitely be revisiting this one!

[Miss Syreena · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good resource with some practices that can be applied in daily life - for example: “dropping” to reset the body and nervous system and “handshake” to just greet and acknowledge difficult thoughts/feelings. The format was split between the two authors perspectives - they touch on the surface of their specialty areas.

[Corinn Szostkiewicz · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is fine. There are definitely some things that I’ll take with me and think about, but god damn there were so many editing errors that I almost threw it across the room.

[Raffaello Palandri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book of the Day – Why We Meditate

Today’s Book of the Day is WHY WE MEDITATE, written by Daniel Goleman and Tsoknyi Rinpoche in 2022 and published by Penguin Books.

Daniel Goleman is one of the most relevant authors, psychologists, and science journalists of our age, having introduced the concept of Emotional Intelligence to the world in 1995. He was a science reporter for The New York Times, was twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize, and received the American Psychological Association’s Lifetime Achievement Award for his writing.

Tsoknyi Rinpoche is a meditation master who follows the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. He is recognized worldwide as one of the living experts in meditation, he is also an author of several books. He has received accolades from prominent Buddhist teachers, including His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

I have chosen this book because I follow Daniel Goleman since when I was 20 years old. He is one of the authors whose ideas most contributed to making me who I am today.

How to Meditate is a practical and potentially life-changing, if you are not already a meditator, guide to meditation.

The book offers its readers an effective and easy-to-follow method to get rid of stress, negative emotions, and external pressure. To avoid these factors could have a destructive effect on us, the authors blend together a millenary Eastern tradition with the most recent discoveries of Western science so as to give you a tool and a practice to use and follow.

By embracing your very being you also claim back your health, heal your relationships, and cultivate your mind and soul.

In our fast-paced world, often characterized by constant distractions, anxiety, and stress, the search for inner peace and personal clarity has become more essential than ever. Meditation is one of the most powerful tools to cultivate mindfulness, promote well-being, and also foster personal growth.

This book is a thought-provoking, enlightening guide that delves into the depths of meditation, shedding light on its objective benefits and offering valuable suggestions on how to bring this practice into our busy modern lives.

Goleman and Tsoknyi Rinpoche emphasize the transformative power of meditation and its ability to shift our perspective on life. The book explores the core principles of meditation, including mindfulness, compassion, and awareness. Through regular practice, we learn to quiet the mind, cultivate self-awareness, and develop a deep sense of connection with ourselves and the world around us.

One compelling aspect of the book is how the authors integrate scientific research and studies into their analysis to validate the benefits of meditation and bridge the gap between ancient wisdom and modern science. They explore how meditation positively affects our brains, emotional well-being, and physical health, providing compelling evidence.

One of the goals of the book is certainly to guide the readers into incorporating mindfulness into their everyday personal and professional lives. The clear instructions show how to bring meditative awareness into routine activities, such as eating, walking, or interacting with others.

By doing so, everyone will learn to fully engage with the present moment, fostering a deep sense of joy, gratitude, and inner peace. Through meditation, we develop empathy, kindness, and a genuine concern for the well-being of others. Cultivating compassion also enhances our relationships, transforms our workplaces and creates more loving and caring societies.

I find that every suggestion given in the book could also be used in the realm of business. I have personally used meditation and mindfulness in my consulting and coaching job and I have witnessed how they can effectively and permanently improve leadership qualities, decision-making skills, and overall workplace dynamics. By fostering a mindful and compassionate corporate culture, organizations can promote employee well-being, boost productivity, and create sustainable success.

Why We Meditate offers a profound exploration of meditation’s multifaceted and undeniable benefits and its absolute relevance in the modern world. Goleman and Tsoknyi Rinpoche blend scientific research, Buddhist philosophy, and practical insights to provide a comprehensive guide for both beginners and seasoned practitioners.

Through meditation, we walk on a transformative journey of self-discovery, cultivating inner peace, resilience, and genuine connection with others. By willingly and happily embracing the lessons presented in this book, everyone can integrate meditation into their lives and experience its profound impact on their well-being, relationships, and success in all aspects of life.

[Bravebook · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Dlaczego medytujemy" to nie tyle odpowiedź na tytułowe pytanie, a bardzo dobry poradnik do medytacji i nie tylko. Dla mnie medytacja wiąże się nie tylko z chwilą ciszy, zadumy, relaksu, ale z czymś o wiele więcej, z poprawą jakości życia. Z tego powodu uważam, że każdy powinien choć trochę medytować 🥰

Książka ma dwóch autorów - jednym jest nauczyciel medytacji, a drugim psycholog. Rinpocze pochodzi z Azji i w swoich fragmentach prezentuje właśnie wschodnie podejście do życia, rozwoju, no i medytacji. Uwielbiam zgłębiać właśnie azjatyckie podejście do tematu, ponieważ wyraźnie widać różnice między mentalnością dalekiego wschodu a europejską i my, jako Europejcy, możemy bardzo dużo zaczerpnąć z tego typu tekstów.

Rinpocze pisze nie tylko o samej medytacji - choć wskazuje też bardzo dużo różnego rodzaju technik i ćwiczeń medytacyjnych, ale także o poczuciu komfortu, zdrowiu psychicznym, jakości życia, walce ze swoimi demonami, problemami, słabościami, a nawet traumami. Podoba mi się spokój z jakim czyta się o tych niejednokrotnie trudnych i bolesnych kwestiach, ale przede wszystkim podoba mi się nacisk kładziony na życie według tych wartości.

Goleman natomiast pod koniec każdego z rozdziałów analizuje metody swojego przedmówcy z perspektywy zachodniej nauki oraz psychologii. Wyjaśnia wspólne zależności i tłumaczy opisywane treści pod innym kątem.

W sumie daje to kompleksowe podejście do każdego z tematów, gdzie jedno i drugie fajnie się uzupełnia.

"Dlaczego medytujemy" jest książką przystępną, pomagającą wprowadzić medytację do swojej codziennej rutyny, a także wyjaśniającą wiele spraw, które dotykają każdego człowieka. Autorzy zachęcają do podniesienia jakości i komfortu swojego życia, rozwoju i po prostu cieszenia się spokojnym i szczęśliwym życiem 🥰 do czego i ja zachęcam!

[Adith Sekaran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Saw this in the library and it caught my eye. For years, I have considered meditation and rarely turn to it when I am overwhelmed. (Read: wake up in AM see triggering emails/texts - know the day will be long and my baseline approach is to amp myself and then try to run into the wall with abandon.) I perform well (yay?) but come home exhausted and just roll into the sofa with a TV+phone. I have found distractions to be my meditation - usually sports/podcasts/working out or hanging out. This is how I got through stressful times in college/med school/residency and now, but it doesn't solve the issues that lead to stress just allows me to be resilient for the next round. Hence, I said why I don't try meditation or something else.

This book gave meditation exercises (difficult to practice them when you are at a coffee shop or on a train when I was reading this book) but also the science behind these exercises. I found the science very helpful and it sold me on meditation even more. It provided an alternative view that feeling stressed/sad/overwhelmed is ok and you don't need to fix it (modern day therapy) or distract yourself from it (sports/texting). You can breathe deeply and live with this and dissipate it and be kinder to yourself and others. (But not too kind - some of these exercises identify when you are being used as well.)

I will leave you with something I learned about the four Is - including the Social I. I help a lot of people - I think of it as part of my identity, but sometimes thinking twice about help and whether I am doing it to be truly altruistic or rather I would have appreciated the help but didn't know how to ask. In that scenario, I should learn to ask better and empower others to ask too. Meditation might allow me to understand what I need better, and when to reach out.

The problem is the authors say meditation is a daily practice and I need to set aside sometime daily - can start with low yield things like not prancing around the house while brushing teeth or drinking coffee in peace, rather than while on phone. The next step is more guided/dedicated meditation - this stresses me out so I need to think how to do this. I know the benefits now at least.

[Jeanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you’re new to meditation, a long-time meditator, or just meditation-curious, this book will provide practical guidance and insight from two seasoned experts. Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence and Altered Traits, is well-versed in how our brains work according to current scientific literature. Co-author Tsoknyi Rinpoche is a long-time meditation master in the Drukpa Kagyu tradition of Tibetan Buddhism. Besides being one of Goleman’s meditation teachers, he has taught thousands of students around the globe how to meditate over the past twenty-five years (I have had the good fortune to be one of them).

Using simple, relatable language and engaging metaphors, Tsoknyi Rinpoche and Daniel Goleman provide alternating complementary perspectives on a variety of easy-to-learn meditation techniques and how and why they work. From dropping our metaphorical baggage - all the stuff of daily life that can cause us stress - to cultivating greater love and compassion for others, the book offers valuable guidance grounded in both ancient wisdom and the latest science. The combination of the broad knowledge of scientific literature that Goleman brings works very well alongside Rinpoche’s extraordinary understanding of the modern mind and how to move us all towards more clarity and more compassion for ourselves and others.

Highly recommended! You can also check out Tsoknyi Rinpoche’s self-paced online course, Fully Being, at https://fullybeing.org/.

[Penny · Rating 4 out of 5]

This dual approach to an examination of meditation ... from the perspectives of a meditation master and a scientist ... offers a great deal to the medicurious.

Each chapter begins with a reflection by Tsoknyi Rinpoche, a Tibetan master, on the traditions and practices of Eastern meditation with things one can practice, starting with simple activities like using a mantra and working with the breath, then advancing to deeper and more spiritual exercises. Rinpoche also recounts his personal journey, learning from his father, becoming a teacher himself, expanding his practice beyond Tibet to the West. But what is most profound is explanation of the Buddhist philosophy underlying meditation. The later chapters on developing compassion were particularly resonant for me.

Each chapter ends with a reflection by Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, and former science reporter for the New York Times. Goleman shares his personal journey in meditation and what he learned as a student of Rinpoche. And he provides the science that explains why we meditate, the benefits to ourselves and others of the practice. Research demonstrates that meditation is a profoundly prosocial act. And frankly, in this troubled time, we could use more meditators, more people cultivating compassion and love for others.

This is a book I will keep and work through again.

[Kris · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book! Gain understanding from two honored practitioners and their experience. Access a tremendous resource. In this book you will learn techniques and find support for a consistent practice. You can glean from the science and also from results with every day practice.

I planned on reading this through and then coming back to the practices. But a few chapters in, I found that taking a pause from the reading and doing the practices equipped me with greater understanding. Within each chapter is a nice guided meditation. I am reading this on my Kindle and many times wished I had an audio version. However, just read through the meditation and then take a few minutes to practice.

This book will also help someone new to meditation to better understand that you do not need hours of meditation to gain benefits. A few minutes everyday makes a difference in calmness and clearer thinking. Thoughts will not disappear. You learn to acknowledge them and let them move on without engaging them. While this is not my first meditation book, I've been practicing for nearly 16 years, It has brought new perspective and techniques for days when sitting still for even a few minutes is difficult.

[Steph (starrysteph) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why We Meditate didn’t quite answer its titular question – but it contained some great nuggets of insight as well as practical knowledge. Rinpoche offers an array of simple exercises as well as frameworks of thought that are easy to implement and curated with care.

Each chapter has two portions: Tsoknyi Rinpoche begins with detailing the practice and its personal impact, and then Daniel Goleman weaves in a scientific approach.

I imagine this book would land differently with someone brand new to meditation. I didn’t find many fresh takeaways and the writing was not always as tight or compelling as I wished it to be - and felt disjointed at times between the two authors. I also wished that the science portions had more, well, science.

However, this writing clearly comes from two deeply knowledgeable meditators and I definitely found some value here.

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(I received a free copy of this book; this is my honest review.)