This review is a bit difficult for me to write. I know that there will be lots of people that really do enjoy this story, and I can respect that. But so much of reading enjoyment has to do with where we are at personally while we are reading, and I'm afraid that there were too many elements of this story that didn't sit well with me. For that reason I couldn't give it higher than a two. But you might be one of those who adore this story, so don't totally let me dissuade you from reading this story if you are so inclined.
This is a love story that takes place between an older college student and her not-much-older professor. He is supposed to be a talented writer who blew his one chance at a publishing deal after running home unexpectedly to find his fiancee in someone else's arms. He's bitter, to say the least, and he now spends his time teaching at a college while running from uncommitted relationship to uncommitted relationship -- often with girls who are his students. This really, really bothered me a lot. I couldn't pull myself away from thinking about my own college days and thinking how absolutely creepy and wrong this would be in a real life situation. Ick! There are just some lines that shouldn't be crossed, and a playboy professor who "loves" and leaves his own students with regularity just creeped me out. I couldn't get over this initial distaste for Ryan. I guess I understand that he had been badly hurt in his one serious relationship before, so there supposedly was this reason for his behavior, but I wasn't buying that. He was behaving like a royal jerk for the beginning chapters of this book. That isn't unusual in love stories. Look at stories like Pride and Prejudice where the heroes of the story start out with extremely rude behavior but prove to be diamonds in the rough. I can deal with that if I can see the transformation of their character enough in the story to buy into the idea that they truly are worth pining for. But that just didn't occur in this book in my opinion.
Ryan was cocky and rude to Kate at the very beginning of the story as she entered his class late. He wasn't inspiring any warm and fuzzy feelings from me at that point. And then as the parade of ladies in his life started prancing through the story I was further annoyed with him. But that was the point, I'm sure. I wasn't meant to like him much at first. Unfortunately the jump from "you're a jerk" to "I think you're kind of awesome" occurred much too quickly. Why did Kate go so quickly to desiring him as a companion (or whatever you call what she wanted in this relationship)? It is never made clear. Supposedly they share this great passion for each other's writing -- well, mostly his passion for her writing since she doesn't really get to look at his novel until later in the book. But they never talk about it other than to give a few "your writing is brilliant" statements here and there. They never seem to talk to each other about anything at all. One minute Kate can't stand the man, and the next minute she is swaying in his arm at a local music gig. How did that happen? If I could follow the flow of their relationship I could have been more on board with the whole thing, but things went so quickly that I was often shaking my head wondering what I was missing. They went from having a horrible argument about being unfaithful to "I love you" in the space of two pages. I love you? Really? Why do you love each other. As a reader I'm not supposed to just fall into place with this sentiment. I should be able to find myself falling in love with the relationship as well as I read, but it just didn't happen for me.
I understand that Kate had her issues to get over, and for that reason she had thrown up all of these walls of protection, but the reasons for this really were not explored at all. They were just mentioned in passing, and that kept me from being fully invested in seeing her overcome this in order to find love with Ryan. Ryan had his issues too, and they were biggies, but yet again it seems as if he dealt with them outside the pages of this book, so I couldn't buy his eventual finding of peace and contentment after years of struggling with the demons of his past. Too little time was spent in this book really attacking the underlying problems that kept these two people apart, and for that reason their characters, especially Ryan's, felt a bit flat to me.
I didn't really care at all for the big disaster of a publisher meeting that Kate experienced at the latter end of the book. It was horrible, and she was treated abominably, but it seemed so completely unrealistic to me. Not that things like that don't happen. They do, far too often. It just seemed to be such a crazy over-the-top sort of plan that these two men planned for Kate. How in the world did they think that they would ever get away with this? It just rubbed me the wrong way, and I just didn't react the way to this event that I know the writer expected me to react. So I was further thrown out of the story as I worked through my irritation with this being the scene that was going to prove so pivotal in this relationship. Not everyone will feel that way, I'm sure. It just hit me wrong in the context of this story.
The final straw for me was Ryan's butthead of a move at the end of the book. That was a low blow and almost unforgiveable in my opinion. He was hurting. I get it. He wanted to separate himself from this painful situation. I get it. But to do what he did? Without spoiling anything I just say this: Ryan, you are officially one of the biggest jerk book "boyfriends" I have ever read about. I was fuming as I read that scene. What a horrible, horrible thing to do to Kate to get back at her for the hurt she caused you! Especially as she was obviously working through the fallout from her last publishing meeting experience! Urg! How I hated Ryan at this moment! But this is a book, and it is a romance, so Ryan and Kate have to end up together. I understand that. But for him to just show up with a quick "I screwed up" and an equally quick "So did I. All's forgiven" moment to make it all go away made me even madder. Oh no, buddy. This requires more than a half of a line to get that act out of my head as a reader. I was still mad. But all was well in the world of Ryan and Kate, so I never could work through my anger issues on this point. I ended the book with a very sour taste in my mouth.
There are two additional chapters at the end that are scenes from the book told through Ryan's point of view. Normally, I LOVE these additions to books. But these didn't work at all for me. If possible, even after ending the book disliking Ryan so much as a character, I ended up hating him even more after hearing his inner thoughts during these pivotal scenes. He just seemed horribly shallow to me. Why in the world did he keep saying that Kate was too good for him? I happen to agree wholeheartedly, but the reality is that they never had enough of a conversation for him to explain how he could come to that conclusion. Was it her writing? Okay, then spend a bit of time explaining just why her writing is so awesome, so raw, so moving. I never understood this at all. And for that reason I never fully got on the Ryan and Kate boat for this book.
Rachael Wade obviously is a talented writer. I am still planning on reading other books written by her because they seem intriguing to me, but this book just never sat right with me, so I couldn't enjoy it at all. However, you might not find this to be the case. For me, however, this will not end up on my favorites list. I think I will stick with one of my favorite romances about a professor and student who find themselves in love after getting to know each other and their passion for a subject -- Gabriel's Inferno by Sylvain Reynard. It's a good one!