Heartless

Keeping Secrets #1

by J. Roman

Keeping Book One

For gay teens in the South, Erwin High School is as good as it gets. The prevailing liberalism means being gay doesn’t have to be the focus of your life—which frees up seventeen-year-old Jason Strummer to take on the role of bully. Jason understands his beauty and power and has a reputation to match his attitude. No one but his best friend suspects the cruelty Jason hides behind is a ruse to keep his hellish private life out of the public eye.

Jason has only loved one boy in his life, and that crush on Tommy Johnson ended so badly that they’re no longer on speaking terms. When an ex-lover threatens Jason and Tommy steps in to help, the heartless playboy can’t help but fall a little bit back in love with him—but Jason will have to choose between keeping Tommy or his secrets.

Genres: M M Romance, Young Adult, Contemporary, Abuse, LGBT, Enemies To Lovers, Gay

130 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 30, 2012

About the author

There is more than one author with this name

J. Roman is a believer in second chances and making things happen. Recently relocated to an ivory tower in the wonderful city of Charlotte, North Carolina, she endeavors to keep everyone on their toes and get into as much trouble as possible. A firm believer in happily-ever-after, J. thinks that everyone deserves a happy ending, even if it takes a little more work for some people to get there

Reviews

[Anke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't know how to rate this. In the beginning I really didn't like Jason very much. Although I could relate to his behavior as the story moved on and I felt sorry for him, for me he still wasn't a likable character. The writing was very good, but for the book being amazing, the topic was just too heavy for me. Might be my mood today. So I think I'll go with 4 stars.

ETA: Just saw that there is a sequel coming in February. I will definitely read that. I'll just have to wait for the right frame of mind:)

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, Heartless indeed. Talk about a way to meet your protagonist. Jason is an ass, he admits it himself a decent amount of times. He is out in his liberal high school which with their school colors of red and white proudly making pink he should be able to, right? But then again, Jason is also one of the smart kids who hangs out with the popular and “in” crowd so he has taken on the role of asshole. Good lord. The first few things you learn about Jason; what he did to Tommy Johnson and how he handles the Cade situation do not make him an MC I find myself wanting an HEA for.

And then - then you turn the page, and you meet the real Jason at home - and your heart breaks. You realize what this boy is up against, with his step father and mother who pretends things don’t happen, and you begin to understand the things he does, he does to survive. You want Jason to survive and yeah; you want him to find love and be happy.

Jason loves living in his “Hippie-Liberal” town of Asheville, North Carolina. The city is alive with the variety and social activity and on a Friday night, at the drum circle - during his escape from the crap at home - he comes face to face with new boy Danny Johnson and his karma of his cousin Tommy. Oh boy, what Jason did to Tommy was awful. How in the world were these two supposed to come together? And what role would Danny play in all of this? Needless to say, I was hooked not only by the easy style of writing the author had, but I needed to know how this would all end.

Tommy, oh boy, did I love Tommy. The dance with Jason at the drum circle and that first kiss? I am such a sucker for the first kiss in romance, and this one was fantastic. I liked how Jason had Kevin, his best friend who’s devotion and friendship never faltered regardless of Jason’s address or his coming out. Kevin was amazing, and when he and Tommy agreed to be on the same page, Jason couldn’t lose. Or could he? Tommy has his own “deals” he has to come to terms with and how what he is doing will affect the budding relationship with Jason. Goodness boys. The things you do and did to one another hurt me. Knock that off would ya? Okay? You are too damn adorable and swoony together to be so mean.

Heartless was packed with secrets and lies that were indeed heartless at the core. It’s what they boys do with them that kept me up until midnight reading and it has been a long time since I book kept me up that late. Oh, the feels boys, the feels were everywhere with you two.

It was like he was a man on an island in the middle of the ocean; he was untouchable, which made me only want to touch him more. Nothing from before was important and nothing that would come after. I wanted him so badly. I don’t think I had really ever desired anything like I desired him. It was then I realized the boy I’d been in love with at thirteen, still had the ability to make me breathless.

This book did a number on me. I adored the hell out of it, and it reaffirmed what I love about a good YA story about boys who love boys. I was a highlighting fiend when Tommy rode in on his white horse, and the boys finally talked. Sure, the relationship moved fast, and there was insta love and you know what? I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. I was a goner and just in love with Tommy and Jason.

I am ready to read the next book to see how they are doing and where they are now.

[Trisha Harrington · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars!

I am rating this as a 16 year old girl who loves the m/m genre. I want to start off by saying this would not be for anyone immature of not capable of reading a serious matter. This book has some very serious issues brought up and I think it would not be good to read this if you were unable to handle more serious themes.

I am one of the first to say I never hated Jason. He was a jerk and an idiot through the majority of the book, but he was broken. His private life was very difficult and with Jonathan (his step-father) it was made even more complicated and very disturbing. To say Jason took his problems out on others was an understatement. He was not good to people and for the most part seemed almost abusive in his own right. Of course I was not happy with his actions. But from what I understand it's normal enough behavior in the situation.

Next we have Tommy. With Tommy I had some niggles. He was portrayed as the good guy through the book. It irritated me slightly because he treated Jason as bad as Jason treated him. If you read the book you would understand why Jason did what he did to Tommy. It was something I easily overlooked. Tommy's support was the reason I loved him, not because he was the good guy who did no wrong, but because he supported and loved Jason when he found out what was going on.

As a couple I could feel the love, but not necessarily the attraction. It kind of felt like I was waiting for something to happen or be told about something off scream that would allow me to see a stronger attraction. Does that make sense? Probably not, I loved it though. As a couple the support and love was there so I can't really complain.

In the book my favourite character had to be Kevin. He was a great secondary character and one that I wanted to be in more. His type of character always attracts me. It was sweet his relationship with Jason and the way his support never wavered. There were a few good supporting characters and others I wanted to throw off a building or under a train.

My last thoughts are that this book won't appeal to a large majority. For many reasons, it should be given a go though and that the ending should not put people off. There is a second book in the series.

[Madison Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is really painful subject matter, and it's difficult to sit by and watch Jason put up with the abuse again and again without much of a fight. But...it felt realistic to me. I felt like I actually was inside a teenage boy's head. It's easy to understand why Jason was often so "heartless" after the way he's been used and abused, but as Tommy pointed out, there's so much more to him behind that mask. I really enjoyed the story. Even though Jason isn't exactly an endearing character, I felt compassion for him and am looking forward to the next installment where I hope he'll find happiness and soften up a bit.

[Cindi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A teen discovers how family secrets can affect not just his life but the lives of those around him.



Full review can be found at Greedy Bug Book Reviews.

[Pixie Mmgoodbookreviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Hearts

First published at MM Good Book Reviews

http://mmgoodbookreviews.wordpress.co...

Jason is living a hellish existence in his home life, so he puts on a front at school and with his friends. He has a hard shell and doesn’t care who he hurts. But, when he is attacked by his ex-lover, Tommy steps up to the plate and rescues him and it is the start of something new between them. But, Jason once humiliated Tommy; can they really forgive and forget? And can Jason admit his secrets and become the person Tommy thinks he can be?

This is quite a hard-hitting story, that has your emotions swinging with desperation to save Jason and to beat the crap out of his mother and kill his step-father, and yes there are also times you want to smack sense into Jason. But, when you fully understand what he has gone through and is still going through you can empathize with his actions. I can only read this book as a mother, but I am sure there are some of you out there that will see it from different perspectives. For me I was sick to the stomach for poor Jason, for what he was going through and for what his mother knew he was going through.

Jason hits out at people before they can do it to him, in retaliation for an offense and so people don’t see the real him. This means he comes across as shallow and self-centered. It takes Tommy to begin to get through to Jason that he doesn’t have to be that person, that he can be less defensive and that there are people who will help him. Tommy and Jason have some touching moments and they are wonderful together, they both secretly loved the other when they were younger, but, a careless word from Tommy hurt Jason more than he thought possible and so he enacted his revenge.

This is a sweet love story that is angsty, with a lot of emotional upheaval for these teenagers. Tommy and Jason have their misunderstandings, but they are at the beginning of their new relationship and at a new juncture in Jason’s life. Jason has had a lot to live with and hide, he has his reasons for how he acts but it isn’t always easy to forgive his actions. Tommy has lived through his humiliation and come out the other side, now he wants another chance with Jason.

I will recommend this to those who love young adult stories that are as hard-hitting as they are sweet with young love, for those who can see past the surface mask to the hurting boy underneath, who want a happily ever after and a new start for two young men.

[Tammy · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was a lot of different things happening in this short book.
I really didn't like Jason at all until I found out what made him the way he was. His school life was pretty good and he is trying to get a scholarship into collage. But his home life is horrific! Even after all the things that he does Tommy is in love with him. He sees under the hard and heartless exterior to the young man he is.

[Ro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh, he’s just horrible. Jason is the cruelest thing, ruining people at the blink of an eye with no remorse. He is the worst sort of bully. The crush on Tommy Johnson ended badly, yes. Due to Jason’s own actions, which were, as the title says, Heartless.

That is what comes across as you begin to read this book. You get the Jason that everyone except his best friend Kevin have to see. Then you being to realize what is behind Jason’s actions. Horrific is a soft word for his homelife. All he wants is to get through until he can leave. Unfortunately, an attack by an ex-boyfriend gone crazy brings Tommy back into the picture. Tommy, who made fun of Jason when he came out and then was publicly humiliated in a major way by Jason in return.

Even as Tommy rescues him from rape, Jason can’t help but be cruel and push Tommy away. It is to Tommy’s credit that he sees beyond that hard outside. When he asks, “Who broke you?” and Tommy thinks, “I wasn’t just broken. I was ruined”, my heart broke alongside his. Oh, Jason.

It isn’t a happy ever after right then, of course. Jason has a long way to go, but he’s making progress. The first thing I thought when I finished this story was how much it bugs me when people tell teenagers that high school is the best time of your life. Yes, it can be, but usually it isn’t.

I liked what turns out to be the Charlie and Mark safe house. I wish there were options for all teens in crisis. This isn’t a very light read but it’s a hopeful one.

[Gavin Stephenson-Jackman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an incredible read and yet also a very difficult read as well. Incredible in that it was nearly impossible to put down, but difficult in it's subject matter. Although Jason is out and proud in a rather accepting environment at school his home life and the sexual abuse he suffers at the hands of his stepfather have left him bitter and jaded. As a result he has a tendency to take out his frustration on others including the one boy he's loved.

Tommy wasn't in the same space emotionally when Jason came out and Jason took his revenge. When Tommy steps in to rescue Jason from an ex their love is reignited. Jason is still unwilling to have his relationship with his stepfather become public and has sworn the only two people who know to secrecy. Will their new relationship be strong enough to survive the secrets?

[Tara Spears · Rating 3 out of 5]

I actually liked Jason, however I did not see him as a bully (which is what the blurb stated), just rude.

I appreciated the premise of this story (of course I would), but so much was missing, it was so rushed, and the ending was awfully perfect considering. This read like the author was in a race to write a novel, and at the end I felt rather cheated out of what could have been a fabulous story.

I have not decided if I want to read the sequal or not. I'll have to think about that one.

[Pablito · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5*

This was a good, fast read that unfortunately felt like a fast write.

Jason is the victim of abuse, and the monster who is inflicting the abuse is a stepfather. Jason gets help from Kevin, his best friend, and from Tommy, his unexpected knight in shining armor.

But there are too many interesting characters in this too short work, many who really demand fleshing out. For example, each boy adopted by Charlie and Mark, whose home Jason enters, is a rescue with his own intriguing background. But we only get to know them as snapshots.

I appreciate that this is Jason's story, but even his story feels thin, given the sexual circus swirling around him.

I'm hoping that Clueless, told from Tommy's point of view, expands the ring of understanding!

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this story well enough, but it just kind of... ended suddenly. I absolutely hate it when authors break up what should be one book into multiple books. It screams cash grab to me. This book was around 120 pages, apparently the second book is around 100 pages. Okay, so why not just combine these into one book instead of charging $5 for each that is barely over 100 pages? That's just way too much. One thing I need from a book is for it to be able to stand on its own, whether or not it is part of a series. This story feels incomplete, and not in the way that you are eager to see what happens next, but in the way that you're left with a wtf why did it just suddenly end feeling. The abrupt ending almost killed this for me because I do want to know what happens next but the next book really should have been a part of this book. Ugh.

[Nic · Rating 2 out of 5]

“You’re a beautiful person, and it’s okay to let people see that.” Says Tommy to Jason.
Except Jason isn’t a beautiful person. He’s a mean, shallow little prick who is nowhere near as clever or quick-witted as he thinks he is, and I can’t understand what anyone sees in him. Later, Tommy states, “He’s so much more than everyone says he is.” Where is the evidence of this? Because it is not on any of the pages I read. There is no character development with him, which is a shame because the situation he is in should produce sympathy instead of indifference but there just wasn't enough depth to Jason to elicit any kind of response except leaving me feeling as if Tommy deserved so much better.

[Jamie Deacon · Rating 4 out of 5]

No matter how hard we try to hide them, secrets nearly always come out in the end. Seventeen-year-old Jason Strummer learns as much in Heartless, this edgy debut by J. Roman. As well as following the ups and downs of a newly blossoming romance, it shows the horrific effects on a teenage boy of sexual abuse and his desperate struggle to conceal the truth from the outside world.

Jason is a bully. He has a spiteful putdown for anyone unfortunate enough to cross his path, while his good looks and cocky attitude can get him any boy he wants … and he wants a lot of them. It’s common knowledge that he’s never seen with the same boyfriend for more than a couple of weeks at a time. Eventually, Jason’s disregard for the feelings of others catches up with him when he’s attacked by a discarded ex lover, and only the intervention of his arch enemy, Tommy Johnson, saves him.

Jason was in love with Tommy once, several years ago. In typical Jason fashion, however, he lashed out at Tommy in retaliation for some homophobic taunts, humiliating him in the worst way possible. Since then, the two boys have barely spoken. Yet, when Tommy steps in to rescue him, old feelings are stirred up and the beginnings of a fragile romance spark between them. What Jason doesn’t bargain on is that Tommy will quickly start to see through the callous exterior he wears in public and reveal the real person beneath. Before long he has to make a tough choice: let Tommy know the shocking truth about his home life or risk losing him for a second time.

I found Jason to be an intriguing character, who I both felt deeply sorry for and longed to shake some sense into, and Tommy’s patience in helping him rediscover his self-respect was immensely moving. There are some difficult issues covered in this novel—sexual abuse, bullying, self acceptance—but the author tackles them with sensitivity and compassion. The romance too has a nice balance of sweetness and angst, and with this being the first instalment in a four-part series, I anticipate a good deal more to come.

For anyone wanting a quick read that combines some tender moments with brutal realism, I would certainly recommend this book.

Written for Rainbow Book Reviews and the Boys on the Brink Blog

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Title: Heartless
Author: J. Roman
Publisher: Harmony Ink Press
ISBN: 978-1-61372-552-8
Buy Link: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/stor...
Reviewer: Teresa Fallen Angel
Blurb:
Keeping Secrets: Book One

For gay teens in the South, Erwin High School is as good as it gets. The prevailing liberalism means being gay doesn’t have to be the focus of your life—which frees up seventeen-year-old Jason Strummer to take on the role of bully. Jason understands his beauty and power and has a reputation to match his attitude. No one but his best friend suspects the cruelty Jason hides behind is a ruse to keep his hellish private life out of the public eye.

Jason has only loved one boy in his life, and that crush on Tommy Johnson ended so badly that they’re no longer on speaking terms. When an ex-lover threatens Jason and Tommy steps in to help, the heartless playboy can’t help but fall a little bit back in love with him—but Jason will have to choose between keeping Tommy or his secrets.



Summary:

The subject of bullies is one that unfortunately is prevalent in today's society. Jason's attitude of disdain and condensation towards others was not very nice, but what it didn't show was the reasons behind his actions. The years of abuse and neglect from his mother and step father had taught him the only way to protect himself was to hit first. It was sad how Jason's first love Tommy had hurt him so bad that it just reinforced, but Tommy was also having his own problems. Experiencing the changes in Tommy and Jason's lives as they began to trust in each other was inspiring, but is their love strong enough to overcome Jason's past?

[justanya · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story was an okay read. I think what annoys me is that this book had all the potential to be an awesome read but the author didn't take the time to flesh out the storyline a bit more. Writing about heavy issues such as sexual abuse, neglect and near rape are heavy subjects yet every situation and how they were remedied were treated entirely too lightly in this book. what parent would adopt a child without discussing the situation that drove them from him from his home? Also, considering the type of douche Johnathan is, what parent would think it okay for a couple of teenagers that they won't need assistance with a move should johnathan turn violent?" The abrupt ending was also a big turn off.
Despite the book's shortcomings I liked the characters and their "voices". Roman has a writing style that I absolutely adore and I can easily see myself adding him to my "automatic buy author" list if the reading material is more polished.

[Caterina Bolognesi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Il libro è piacevole. Scritto in modo scorrevole e di facile lettura.
E allora perché ho dato solo due stelline?
Io non ho un'idea molto precisa su come un libro dovrebbe essere scritto per potermi piacere, a livello di trama. Di solito leggo un po' di tutto. MA ci sono alcuni argomenti che, a mio avviso, o andrebbero trattati in modo completo e competente o non andrebbero trattati affatto.
La violenza e l'abuso domestico su minore è uno di questi.
La superficialità con cui l'argomento è stato trattato in questo libro mi ha colpita in modo decisamente negativo.
Le due stelline sono per la scorrevolezza del testo e per il fatto che l'autrice sa come tenere vivo l'interesse del lettore. Ma a parte questo è un libro che sconsiglierei vivamente, perché sminuisce gli sforzi e le difficoltà che un ragazzo vittima di abusi costanti deve realmente affrontare.

[clear skies · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a pretty short book and tries to do a lot of things in a small amount of "time".

I enjoy reading high school stories/college stories they're my guilty pleasure - and rarely done right in my eyes. Heartless is an example of that. Jason is a horrible character and a character I can't come to like.

Jason's step-father has been raping Jason since he was thirteen. It's horrid and whilst there is no one-page description, the author does write the interaction between the two before the situation happens. So yes I can understand Jason being emotionless and has hardened himself. However, he was mean, vindictive and a bully.

Overall...it was not to my taste.

[Jeydaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know what to think about sexual abuse other than that I wish to God that it never existed in the first place. I like that through Tommy, Jamie becomes a better person. I like that through Tommy, Jamie found the courage to move out of his house.

Furthermore, I would really like to see the book spent a little time penalizing Jamie's stepfather for what he did and his mom for her deliberate neglect.

[Hollis Shiloh · Rating 5 out of 5]

For me this story was a "sweat-jerker." I read it breaking out in a cold sweat. Some very raw stuff here. I couldn't help thinking the story would've been a lot shorter if the characters hadn't all kept the abuse a secret...and a lot happier story...but it felt raw and real in some ways, and I'm not sorry I read it. I really wanted the characters to be OK! Also I read the sequel that same day, so it held my attention...

[Georgia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't particularly like the main character, or most of the side ones to be honest and the story was too forced at times.

Even so, when I accidentally started reading this at 1am, I couldn't stop until it was finished for some reason...

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall a good story. I wish it had been longer though, because the ending felt rushed. Jason's situation flipping from horrible to happy ever after seemed to happen too seamlessly for what he had gone through in the past.

[meep · Rating 3 out of 5]

The ending was WAY to abrupt and the relationship was WAY to fast anyways other then that it was good ~

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

[Hrtnsoul28 · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved

[Luke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heartless is a novella by J. Roman.

[Ayamee · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated it.

[Heather K (dentist in my spare time)]

Crazy deal! On sale for $0.69 (after rebate) at ARe!!!!

https://www.allromanceebooks.com/prod...

[Karla]

Started strong but I lost interest even though I read about 50%. The two mc feelings were a given based on prior events and we never saw the two fall in love.

[Mateus Bandeira · Rating 3 out of 5]

So much potential lost :( It was okay, but the way the author chooses to unwrap the plot was way too flat. Some things were just too out of context to me. Great story, poor development.