Awful First Dates: Hysterical, True, and Heartbreakingly Bad

by Sarah Wexler

"He spills out a pile of pennies all over the table, telling me he fished through the couch for change to pay for his big night out."
From the guy who chews on rocks to the one who has his mom tag along, Awful First Dates is filled with hilarious, cringe-worthy, holy-crap-did-that-really-happen? stories from celebrities like Lauren Conrad and Michael Kors, you'll laugh, you'll cringe-and most importantly-you'll feel better about some of the date's you've been on
-He ate an entire bowl of dip with his fingers.
-He said, "I think we should hang out in the woods and just groove on each other."
-About thirty minutes in, he paused, took a sip of win, and then said, "So, can we go have sex now?"
Sarah Z. Wexler, a freelance writer, lives and goes on first dates in New York City.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Chick Lit, Research, Adult

224 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Rebecca]

This book was a really fast and really funny read. I pretty much sat down and read the whole thing in an entire sitting.
The book is made up of different people’s short snippets about what they experienced. So many of them were so funny. I was laughing out loud quite a lot and at one point one of the stories had me laughing for about 10 minutes.
I really liked that some of the stories were from celebrities. Justin Halpern’s story had me in stiches, it was so hilarious.
Overall, I loved Awful First Dates, it was so funny and a nice quick read I would recommend it to those who love humorous non-fiction.

[Shelli · Rating 3 out of 5]

An entertaining, mindless, literary palate cleanser.

2.5 stars.

[Shelley · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is one of those books that if you are stressed out and need to blow off a little steam, you grab this and you realize your life isn't that bad after all. Either I have been fairly lucky or others have been very unlucky. You will be shocked that so many of these dates actually happened.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is just what the title says it is: Awful First Dates: Hysterical, True and Heartbreakingly Bad. If someone asks you out for dinner and drinks, why do they eat first? Cheap? There are so many stories, some that I can relate to, that describe some of the oddball situations that come along with first dates. One that I didn't see listed in this book was the guy who brought his mother along on the date. Not just the first date, but the second and possibly the third. Yep, been there, done that. Guys who not only want to split the check, but then have a 50% off coupon to take care of their portion. Now that's CHEAP. Guys who want you to eat really fast because they're expecting "dessert" from you, guys who insult you when they think that they're actually being complimentary, or a backhanded compliment. If you're looking for something that's funny or makes you scratch your head, wondering what they were thinking, this is the book for you. I hope you enjoy this book as much as I did.

[Karol K · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was hilarious and sad. Looking back thank God I never had any of these experiences. Will never complain again about awful dates whew... poor thing.... Made me feel 100 percent better about my dating history!

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

A super quick, amusing read.
I laughed out loud a few times!

[Virginia · Rating 1 out of 5]

For the first half or so, thought this was a pleasant fluff book, great for reading on the treadmill to pass the time. Then I noticed that, other than the tales from famous people between the chapters, there weren't any from the perspective of a male submitter. All were women relating bad stories about men. The lack of any stories that weren't from straight women dropped this from a three-star "enjoyable fluff" to a two-star "something squicky that makes me feel bad about enjoying it". But, I did still enjoy the stories. Until I went to her website, as I do love me some bad date stories, and some of my previous favorites have dried up. All was well until I came across the one that is the opening story in the "Mr. Fascist" chapter. And what do you know, the original story as submitted to the website was submitted by a man about a woman. I wouldn't normally ding a book just for something that doesn't match an external website, but the way the chapter in question was introduced specifically said that in online dating, men and women say that they're looking for the same things in all categories except women say "no bigots" and men say "no fatties". So, dislike racists more, and the first example story is of a bigoted man that was actually submitted as being about a bigoted woman? No wonder all the stories were just about men that were jerks to women, any submitted as otherwise got changed to that perspective. Not cool. And especially not cool in a chapter that says that specifying bigotry as a turnoff is the only statistically significant difference in what men and women say they're looking for in a partner.

And so, I no longer feel bad about enjoying this book, as I retroactively lost all the fluff enjoyment I felt at the time, and just feel dirty. There's plenty of bad stories about men on dates with women - I've had them, my girlfriends have told me many more. No need to change ones that go the other way to match that narrative, would have been just as enjoyable a story to read if the pronouns had retained the gender from the original website submission.

[AlohaMyPikachu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was just...jaw-dropping. I recommend it for anyone that has had lousy luck in dating. Or maybe you have a story that could've been added to this book.

All I can say is that I'm sure glad (so far) that I've not come across any of these men that were described! Some of these stories were so unbelievable that I would've sworn that some of these women were making it up.

I'm not sure which story was the best. The guy who asks his date if they can go off and have sex now? The man who was supposed to pay for his date's dinner but wound up sharing one plate and eating all the food...then texting her after and saying next time it was her turn to pay. Or maybe the story about the guy who grabbed the dish of dip and ate it with his fingers.

Amazing! I can't believe that there are guys out there who acted like this on dates, and then expected the woman to either go to bed with him or go out with him again.

I think if I have any issues with this book it's that I would've liked at least a few more stories about guys that went on dates with women that wound up being a disaster date.

I would recommend this book for anyone. True, it's no artful piece of literature, but you could possibly read it and then get together with your friends to use as a subject of conversation. I think you'll have a good time with lots of laughs. I certainly plan to mention this book to my friends.

[Emily · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not all that interesting. She sets up each chapter by generalizing the most memorable part of each terrible date (i.e. terrible guy) under money, sex, drinking, etc., and telling a snippet of dates that neatly slot in to each category. If she really ended up in these situations, that's a staggering amount of first dates. Given that many of them were arranged through dating sites and most were an awful fit, she really wasn't screening all that well. Dare I think she was *gasp* sending herself on bad dates so she could then write a book? Surely no woman would put herself through something like that. Right.

Although she says in the intro that she's sure men have gone back to their friends and told stories about how terrible a date with her was, I get the distinct impression that she thinks on each of these occasions it was all about the guy screwing up. Sorry, honey, but from how you outline your actions and your responses to many of these situations, you don't sound all that awesome. You don't like a guy so you deliberately order lobster and expensive wine and then bail without contributing to the check? That's not cool. So I bailed on this book about halfway through. Much like some first dates, this wasn't worth my time.

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Goodreads Synopsis: "He spills out a pile of pennies all over the table, telling me he fished through the couch for change to pay for his big night out."
From the guy who chews on rocks to the one who has his mom tag along, Awful First Dates is filled with hilarious, cringe-worthy, holy-crap-did-that-really-happen? stories from celebrities like Lauren Conrad and Michael Kors, you'll laugh, you'll cringe-and most importantly-you'll feel better about some of the date's you've been on
-He ate an entire bowl of dip with his fingers.
-He said, "I think we should hang out in the woods and just groove on each other."
-About thirty minutes in, he paused, took a sip of win, and then said, "So, can we go have sex now?"

My Thoughts: LOL...read this in one sitting. As someone who didn't go on a ton of first dates before finding my hubby, thankfully none were anywhere near as bad as the ones described in this book. I cringed throughout the book...it astounds me how tacky and totally clueless some people can be. And this is a great example.

[Casey · Rating 4 out of 5]

While just as fun to read by yourself, this would be a great book to read aloud in a group of friends. At turns hilarious and sad (because it's heartbreaking to think of people -and so many of them- being so obliviously awful), this book takes anecdotes of terrible dates and breaks them up into categories of bad behavior. It's a little heartening, a little inspiring ('at least my date wasn't as awful as that!'), and a lot amusing. It serves as both a barometer of what you can consider a good date, and as a helpful 'what never to do' guide.

[Norelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book, if you want to have a casual read, as it is broken up into themed chapters, which have many contributions to the theme! I thought it had some funny moments, however the whole book came across as if it could have been composed by the same person...the style was a little drab for me. I give it 3 stars as their are some amusing dates in this book..no doubt about it!

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this in about an hour. It's clearly the bookification of a blog--the anecdotes are mostly fun and funny, though some of them are obnoxious--no, it's not rude of a guy to expect you to walk on your date, even if you wore ridiculous heels. Mostly, though, it was a decent laugh, about like scrolling through a blog.

[David Brzezinski · Rating 2 out of 5]

Heavily biased towards a woman's perspective (it is possible for a man to be on a bad date, too), the book read more like a how not to guide to first dates more than a collection of humorously bad first dates.

[Ashlee Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic, funny, short read. This book kept me laughing the whole time. I'm glad I read it. It has opened my eyes to dating disasters of other people and let me forget about my own for awhile ;)

[Mimmy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really quick read. I agree with one reviewer who commented that this reads like a blog. Dating scenarios are grouped by topic, then listed in paragraph form.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fluffy subway reading. Sometimes I agreed with the anecdote but sometimes people were just too snobby.

[Nada Al-Karmi · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was an interesting book. I laughed, got disgusted, got mad & cringed with horror while reading it. However, I gave it 4 stars instead of 5 because it was way too short.

[Victoria Shepherd · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny, yet horrifying. Anyone who has had bad first dates less awful than these will feel smugly relieved.

[Brittany · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most of the stories were pretty funny and it was a nice way to read before bed with easy stopping points between stories. Short chapters make a medical student happy :)

[Alexandrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the stories just had me wondering what stupid or silly women were thinking. This is coming from being a woman myself. Other stories are relatively entertaining.

[Annie Le · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an assortment of real life stories told by some women having experienced egregious first dates. I think it was an okay funny read so I rate it 3 stars out of 5.

[Ramla]

In my opinion , this book shows the materialistic thinking in Western culture

[Afnan · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a really good book it made me laugh at times and cringe at other times and it shows that being single isn't that bad after all :D

[Rachelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious.

[Lisa O'donovan]

Fluffy beach read with some funny, inappropriate & just plain awful first dates. Not a literary work of genius, but some interesting stories.

[Beth Baier · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started reading this thinking it would be funny... I thought it was more ridiculous than entertaining. It didn't do it for me...

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Makes you never want to go out on a date again.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy read that is funny and easily relatable.