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Normal for Norfolk

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Pub landlords are being murdered in Norfolk!

Thelonious T. Bear, ursine photojournalist, leaves behind the big city life of London to take an assignment in the Norfolk countryside, where he hopes to find the real England. Instead he stumbles upon gastro-pubs, crazed Audi drivers and murder. As the hapless Thelonious keeps ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time, he attracts the attention of Detective Chief Inspector Horatio Sidebottom of Norfolk Constabulary CID, who’s determined to tie Thelonious to the crimes. Add in a pair of hoods from London’s East End, celebrity TV chef Paolo Louis Black, and plenty of oddball local characters and it all adds up to a madcap journey through England’s most quirky county, where everything is normal for Norfolk!

From bestselling author Mitzi Szereto, co-authored with celebrity author bear Teddy Tedaloo.

“For anyone who’s ever wondered what Paddington at Large would have been like if it had been written by Raymond Chandler—and who hasn’t?—Mitzi Szereto has the answer. Like Philip Marlowe, Szereto’s Thelonious T. Bear is a modern knight errant who plays it cool even as the light of suspicion shines on him. And like Paddington, he’s short of stature and long on charm. If you like your sleuths tough, cynical and cute as a button, Normal for Norfolk is the book for you.” —Steve Hockensmith, author of Holmes on the Range and Pride and Prejudice and Dawn of the Dreadfuls

186 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2012

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About the author

Mitzi Szereto

70 books147 followers
OFFICIAL ACCOUNT
Mitzi Szereto (mitziszereto.com) is an American-British author, anthology editor, and short story writer whose books encompass multiple genres, most recently in true crime, including her latest release Women Who Murder: An International Collection of Deadly True Crime Tales as well as her popular series The Best New True Crime Stories. Her work has been translated into several languages. A contribution in her anthology Getting Even: Revenge Stories received the Crime Writers’ Association Short Story Dagger “Highly Commended.” She has the added distinction of being the editor of the first anthology of erotic fiction to include a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature. Mitzi has appeared internationally on radio and television and at major literature festivals, and has taught creative writing around the world, including universities in the UK. In addition to having produced and presented the London-based web TV channel Mitzi TV, she portrays herself in the pseudo-documentary British film, Lint: The Movie. Follow her on social media @mitziszereto.

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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
Profile Image for Fiona Ingram.
Author 3 books733 followers
October 25, 2012

Someone is murdering the pub landlords of Norfolk! Thelonious T. Bear, ursine photojournalist, leaves behind the big city life of London to take an assignment in the Norfolk countryside, where he hopes to find the ‘real’ England. Instead of rural peace, bucolic beauty, and delightfully quaint characters straight out of Dickens, he stumbles upon gastro-pubs, a flatulent daschund (Lord Nelson) a sex-starved landlady, crazed Audi drivers, and a series of murders! As the hapless Thelonious keeps ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time, he attracts the attention of DCI Horatio Sidebottom of Norfolk Constabulary CID, who is determined to tie Thelonious to the crimes. Add in a pair of shaven-headed thugs (the upwardly mobile Desmond Clark and his psychopath brother Vinnie) from London’s East End, celebrity TV chef Paolo Louis Black, and plenty of oddball local characters and it all adds up to a madcap journey through England’s most peculiar county, where everything is normal for Norfolk!

This quirky new crime novel is the first in the fun new series from bestselling author Mitzi Szereto, co-authored with her celebrity sidekick bear, Teddy Tedaloo. Paddington Bear meets Midsomer Murders in this hilarious murder mystery told from a bear’s-eye point of view. You have to buy into the idea that a talking bear is not an anomaly, it’s normal. Perhaps normal for Norfolk, but Thelonious manages quite well in big cities. The author dives right into the nuts and bolts of life as a bear, from the problematic height of door handles down to bear shoe size and trying to fill the petrol tank of his specially adapted Mini Cooper. We take life as humans for granted: try being a bear with an arrest looming. Thelonious doesn’t set out to solve these murders. He just has to do something to keep the coppers off his back.

Tongue-in-cheek humour, including some clever political and social commentary, hair-raising escapades, and eccentric characters that you know you’ve met before (in your own life!) despite their very Englishness, all add up to a laugh-a-line read. I loved this book. It could have been longer, but I console myself with the knowledge that there’s more to come, if Thelonious has anything to do with it. There is some bad language but mostly from Desmond and Vinnie who possibly haven’t the education to know any better.
Reviewed by Fiona Ingram for Readers Favorite
Profile Image for OpenBookSociety.com .
4,140 reviews138 followers
August 18, 2012
Brought to you by OBS reviewer Lee

The storyline of Normal for Norfolk would be at home in any Guy Ritchie film or similar English crime saga, apart from one key feature: the lead protagonist is a bear. That’s right, Thelonious T. Bear is a teddy bear as well as a photojournalist. He appreciates a good English pint as much as the next man, and he likes nice clothes—when he can find ones that fit. He faces challenges unique to his species on a regular basis, such as being too short to reach door handles or being stared at in public. Yet despite being stared at, Thelonious is accepted as being, well, relatively normal; in the world created by Mitzi Szereto (and the teddy bear sidekick credited as her coauthor, Teddy Tedaloo), bears apparently are capable of speaking, holding down jobs, and generally interacting with humans in English society as though they to are humans.

This weird world that Szereto has created goes without questioning in Normal for Norfolk, perhaps because it so perfectly suits the idiom that the book takes its title from. It also helps that Szereto is a great writer with a unique voice capable of transitioning smoothly from Thelonious’s rural amblings in Norfolk to the gritty London underworld that her two murderous henchmen, the Clark brothers, call home. Her storytelling voice is so detailed and convincing that one is willing to believe whatever she wants one to believe. Once the reader accepts that Thelonious is a teddy bear, the entire book seems remarkably realistic, especially since the supporting human characters ironically come off as far more quirky than Thelonious himself. These include bed and breakfast proprietor Mrs. Baxter, bored with her provincial married life and willing to make flirtatious advances at anything male that moves (including Thelonious), and Norfolk’s Chief Inspector Horatio Sidebottom who, with a name worthy of Lord of the Rings, cannot seem to get any other suspects in his line of sight but Thelonious.

All of this unwanted attention makes it difficult for the quiet and unassuming bear to get about his actual business in Norfolk, of completing a photography series detailing what makes England’s quirkiest county so lovable. However, it’s hard to think of Norfolk as lovable when publicans are showing up dead left and right. Szereto fills the various English pubs of Norfolk with even more delightful characters, all of whom come to life right before the reader’s eyes. She describes the locations in Norfolk equally illustratively, creating a picturesque world that renders the crimes taken place within it all the more horrifying.

Will Thelonious manage to finish his job without getting wrongfully charged with murder? Will the true criminals ever get caught, or will Sidebottom be too focused on Thelonious to see what’s before his very eyes? It’s worth picking up Normal for Norfolk to find out, especially if you are at all a fan of the mystery genre or English culture. It’s Masterpiece Mystery with an ursine twist. Hopefully any further installments of the Thelonious T. Bear Chronicles will be equally engaging.

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Profile Image for Georgiann Hennelly.
1,960 reviews26 followers
December 22, 2012
Thelonious T. Bear a Photo journalist leaves London to take an assignment in Norfolk he hopes to find the real England in the Bucolic country side. Instead he finds gastro- pubs crazed Audi drivers and a series of murders.Someone is murdering the pub landlords of Norfolk and as Thelonious keeps being in the wrong place at the wrong time.DCI Horatio Side bottom of the Norfolk Constabulary CID is determined to tie him to the crimes. Add in a pair of thugs, celebrity T.V Chef and plenty of other characters and you have a mad cap journey throughh Englands most peculiar county, where everything weird that happens is Normal for Norfolk. Will Thelonious manage to solve the murders? Before he is arrested for them! This is a very entertaining read, i look forward to reading more about Thelonious T. Bears adventures.
Profile Image for Arnstein.
247 reviews8 followers
July 4, 2018
It's not easy being a height-challenged ursine photojournalist in a crime novel – the first chronicle of Thelonious T. Bear.

The Thelonious T. Bear Chronicles are a curious series where what is childish cohabits with what is grown-up, resulting in a kind of deadpan comedy that can be interchangeably described as 'cute,' 'odd,' and sometimes even as 'a little bit shocking.' The comedy is not solely due to the fact that the protagonist is a teddy bear sized ursine – Thelonious always refers to himself as 'ursine' and purposefully avoids clarifying the issue on whether or not he's a teddy bear or a real bear, thus his true nature is up to the readers imagination, allowing us to choose the version which we find most entertaining – but many of the situations he gets into do get funnier because of how his children's book person and personality interacts with what is essentially a hard-boiled crime story. Picture this: Paddington finally grew up into a cranky but still loveable guy and now he's being all but accused of murder by the Detective Chief Inspector of the local constabulary, and having problems figuring out if Mrs. Baxter is trying her luck with him or not (and if so, how to avoid it). And on the mentioning of the DCI and Mrs. Baxter, the already odd world of Thelonious T. Bear is also home to all sorts of oddball characters, local as well as not, who further enriches the place with their own charms (and sometimes lack thereof). Norfolk truly seems to be a strange place where strange things may happen, that is, of course, if it in any way resembles that Norfolk which is envisioned by Szereto and Tedaloo.

As the references to sex and murder would suggest, the book is indeed specked with adult themes. It isn't afraid to give certain bloody details with regard to these murders, nor does it avoid referencing porn or sex in general, but these elements aren't more explicit than what you'd expect from your average crime novel which wants to appear a bit gritty. On this note I'd like to make a point, which is perhaps an obvious one but I'll make it nonetheless: Even though Szereto's main catalogue of books are erotica it is clear that the author knows which genre she's writing. There are no genitalia in action here – well, except on the 'telly' that is. In fact, early on Thelonious himself makes a point out of this which seems to nudge the fourth wall enough that we get the it loud and clear: ”He envisioned Mrs. Baxter's pink-satin bulk moving off down the corridor and away from the sanctity of his room. If Baxter House Bed and Breakfast was offering late-night room service, Thelonious didn't want what was on offer” (p. 34). Of course, there is the bit about Lord Nelson's romancing of chair legs and other legs (he's a dachshund), but thankfully we're spared any details there.

Thelonious is one of those ursines who have made a name for himself, if only a small one. He's a photographer known for his distinct perspective, and now, after having spent years as a photojournalist, several editors have finally shown interest in is work. An American company has agreed to fund him a journey in order to produce images for a “coffee table book” and Thelonious knows exactly where he'd like to go to find the right motives: The characteristic and authentic Norfolk. But then publicans are knocked over the head and die as a result of said knocking, leading to the DCI casting suspicious glances at Thelonious, which in turn is going to make his trip a much more difficult one than he could possibly have foreseen. Neither is the area untouched by postmodernity and some of the towns have lost their old ways, having been turned into places where the Chelsea snobs go to spend their wealth on the kind of luxurious food and goods that come labelled with 'better than the rest of you.' But these unfortunate things aside, there is a charm about Norfolk and Thelonious intends to capture it. And if he finds a suitable place to rent in one of its quiet villages, he might just find himself a permanent address there.

Normal for Norfolk's relationship with the area it's situated in can best be described as a romance. The book is clearly in love with old Norfolk, unconditionally. More importantly, as we follow Thelonious we encounter it with the same pink glasses which he does. Inevitably we too experience the charms of close-knit groups of people who come together over the local brew of the local public, and with him we lament the arrival of a new era that threatens to destroy this culture. At the book's end we wish we could make that journey ourselves, preferably in something as British as a Mini Cooper with a Union Jack roof, just like how he makes it, but unfortunately we cannot follow his paw prints and thus never truly recreate the adventure: None of the villages and towns he visits are real, even if they do feel like they should be. They are likely modelled on real places in the area, but it is impossible to guess which. This also somewhat robs the story of its ability to become a “true” Norfolk tale, one in which the locals themselves could recognize the romance if they read it. This, of course, has no impact on the story itself, but its attraction would have become more complete if it had taken place in a tangible part of the place it praises so highly.

So, this is how the chronicles begin: As short as its protagonist and as endearing as his cuddly ursinity (though for a more grown-up audience, as I've explained – middle to late teens and above, by this reviewer's estimate). It is an excellent travel companion with which to pass the three hour flight to somewhere new and exiting, and then to be brought back out of the bag and finished during the return trip. It might make you question your destination (unless it's Norfolk) or long for a pint of something rich and brown, but if it is as they say that travel enriches one's life then that must surely also be the case when one longs for more of it. The series starts well; now to see what Thelonious gets up to in Rotten Peaches.
Profile Image for Peter.
121 reviews3 followers
July 20, 2021
I am not sure how the Norfolk Tourist Board (if such a thing exists) will react to this book, but I can tell you that their loss is our gain.
"Normal for Norfolk" is a delightfully funny story about Thelonious T. Bear's adventures in rural (but not so quiet) Norfolk.
The book is packed with the most weird characters, who probably stood at the end of the queue when God was handing out brains.

I won't spoil the plot for you, but it does involve a few murders, some shifty blokes from the East-End and three mysterious Belgians (what have we done to deserve this, Mitzi? *).

What I especially loved was the fact that the book is written from the perspective of a teddy bear. As you know most teddy bears aren't very tall and neither is Thelonious T. Bear, and this can make ordinary life pretty difficult (try ordering pint when you can't reach the bar or filling your tank with gas, when you need a stepladder to reach it).

All in all this is a very enjoyable story and a wonderful, funny, entertaining read. The only thing I really regretted was that...it was over before I knew it.
So I certainly hope we will get another Thelonious T. Bear Chronicle very soon!


(*) the author is of the Belgian persuasion and actually quite proud of it.
Profile Image for bella.
496 reviews28 followers
August 22, 2012
I was intrigued by the premise of Normal for Norfolk, but I wasn't sure it would be a mystery novel for me. With a bear as a amateur sleuth, who gets dubbed with the unfortunate nickname "Ted", it didn't sound like something I would enjoy. I'm usually one for the more traditional cozy mysteries.

However I was wrong. Normal for Norfolk was a engaging, interesting read. It is set amongst small towns in Norfolk, in and out of cute pubs and is full of interesting characters. There Mrs Baxter, who runs the B & B, who might be interested in romantic relations with Ted. The police constable doesn't look like he knows how to solve the murders that keep cropping up, and what is with the black Audi that keeps almost hidding Thelonious?

The murder was quite easy to solve, but the characters and situations kept me reading.

Given the fact that I was reading 11-22-63 by Stephen King at the same time as I was reading Normal for Norfolk, and I kept picking up Normal for Norfolk over 11-22-63 is a huge compliment.

I definitely enjoyed Normal for Norfolk and I really hope there will be more in the series, because I need more Thelonious adventures!
Profile Image for Lauri.
4 reviews
August 20, 2012


Interesting read. Learned lots of new UK english :0D Liked the point of view from a bear's point of view. And his love of his mini and ale! Lokking forward to the next adventure.
13 reviews2 followers
October 29, 2019
Give her credit. Mitzi Szereto came up with a screwball premise for a series of books: the travels of a bear who talks, drives a car, and struggles to live among the humans of modern Great Britain. What she initially does with this premise is hard to classify.
In an interview at https://www.femalefirst.co.uk/books/n... Szereto refers to this book as “quirky crime/cosy mystery”. This might bring to mind those mystery series in which pets help solve crimes in the human world (such as the Cats and Curios series by Rebecca Hale). But Szereto’s bear Thelonious has nothing to do with the murders that occur during his visit to Norfolk. The murder plot develops and resolves in chapters that follow the criminals instead of Thelonious. He is merely involved in a running gag: a local police detective repeatedly treats him as a suspect for no reason.
It’s better to take this book as a farce, which is quite a challenging form. That clockwork pattern of preposterous, simplified behavior is hard to get across in prose. P.G. Wodehouse is its genius, Damon Runyon and Donald Westlake do it well, and people like Joseph Heller can take it to the edge of horror stories. NORMAL FOR NORFOLK is certainly not competition for these folks, but it’s the introduction to a series of books which could develop nicely.
The bear’s experience in Norfolk is a repetition of absurd situations. Over and over, Thelonious goes to a pub where zany locals go through the same personal routines over and over; he has the problem of avoiding his amorous landlady every time he comes back to his room. He is himself repetitious in his attitudes, a classic schlemiel. His steady frustration at the world makes him a farce character of a type familiar from TV comedies:Basil Fawlty, Al Bundy, George Costanza.
But farce has an element of construction, acceleration towards a crisis, that apparently doesn’t concern Szeto. She obviously enjoys writing about Thelonious and his quirks; she narrates each of his excursions as being interesting in itself. As a result, no scene is essential to an overall design. One thing does not lead to another.
Still, the idea of Thelonious T. Bear is promising. Later books in the series may be better.
Profile Image for The TBR Pile *Book review site*.
1,840 reviews58 followers
August 1, 2012
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I so wanted to enjoy this. It had all the makings of a fantastic, cozy mystery but in the end, it just didn't deliver. It had some genuine laugh-out-loud moments but was spoiled by pages and pages of long paragraphs with no breaks. It got so bad at one point, I nearly gave up, but I didn't, feeling I owed it to the author to persevere. The descriptions of the characters were good and I found myself warming to one or two of them. The actual mystery itself took so long to get going, I almost forgot what the plot was!

All in all it was a great idea that was marred by over-long paragraphs and too much 'padding'.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews