What do you think?
Rate this book
Waiting in the Throes
Brennan knows there is a world outside of his apartment, but he has been prisoner in his own home, since his abduction, unable to muster enough strength to venture outside or he would realize, not everything out there is as bad as it seems.
Told in one novel, two parts. Part One deals almost entirely with the abduction and is complete. Part Two deals with the aftermath, and is a WIP. (Last update March 17 2014)
Words: Approx 265,000
READER ADVISORY: This story contains potentially triggering scenes of abuse and graphic rape. Full warnings available at the source of the story.
Told in one novel, two parts. Part One deals almost entirely with the abduction and is complete. Part Two deals with the aftermath, and is a WIP. (Last update March 17 2014)
Words: Approx 265,000
READER ADVISORY: This story contains potentially triggering scenes of abuse and graphic rape. Full warnings available at the source of the story.
800 pages, Online
First published March 17, 2014
78 people are currently reading
2597 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 124 reviews
October 16, 2018
I now fully understand, why there is a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven.
Buuuuuuut… DARK SHIT is Good Shit and once I started I couldn’t stop.
I will try keeping this spoiler free. The story is 800 pages, I believe it is not easy to spoil.
So, my lovely Sista Jan saw how miserable I was, after the disaster that was the Conflicted, and gifted me this gem, and thus we embarked on a journey of my first buddy read. It was so much fun my friend.
The writing is so good and consistent, it is hard to believe this is fanfic.
The story is told in Brennan’s POV, the boy who is kidnapped by two Psychos who want to live out their twisted fantasies. Let’s just say if you have watched Fatal Attraction you know this Psychos exist. Brennan is a hero, his strength and determination kept me going. He never gave up on himself. I was rooting for him from the beginning, his journey is a heartbreaking one and interesting to read.
The story is divided into two parts, the first part deals with the kidnapping and all other gross things, I can classify the first part as horror/gore, not for the faint heart. I can’t go into details about this part, just know pure evil exist and it was here in form of Brennan’s kidnappers.
Al hauled me into the room, and I let him, my brain spitting static and white noise at me as I tried to form a plan to get out of this situation. As my feet grew less and less reluctant, Al’s grip on me slackened and a plan arose from my fear-addled brain. I took a few steps forward, in the direction of the bed, right where Al wanted me to go. Richard entered the room a moment later– alone, and I could hear Jason yelling from behind him.
The Second part is the most brutal part, the aftermath of all the horror and gore. It is so realistic to a point you can’t help but picture yourself as Brennan. What if you went through what he went through, will you be able to recover? Umm! Nope. The way Brennan and His family deals with the aftermath is so much painful to read. I admit, I am a masochist because, despite it being so painful, I wanted more.
I had never felt so helpless, the old Brennan was gone, long gone. Not like the proverbial box that had housed my family, my memories, my life for months, but actually gone– eradicated, burned away to ash and bone, leaving a walking skeleton in his place.
As for the bad guys.......
I thought the Flesh Cartel was worse, clearly, I had not read and understood worse.
Maddox Grey is a talented writer, I can’t believe this is not a published book. The talent that is in fanfic writing is so amazing and should be celebrated. Most of them are even better than published authors.
Recommended to the readers who are willing to go deeper and darker.
Thank you, Jan for getting me out of my slump and for the amazing non-official buddy read.
And now!
Buuuuuuut… DARK SHIT is Good Shit and once I started I couldn’t stop.
I will try keeping this spoiler free. The story is 800 pages, I believe it is not easy to spoil.
So, my lovely Sista Jan saw how miserable I was, after the disaster that was the Conflicted, and gifted me this gem, and thus we embarked on a journey of my first buddy read. It was so much fun my friend.
The writing is so good and consistent, it is hard to believe this is fanfic.
The story is told in Brennan’s POV, the boy who is kidnapped by two Psychos who want to live out their twisted fantasies. Let’s just say if you have watched Fatal Attraction you know this Psychos exist. Brennan is a hero, his strength and determination kept me going. He never gave up on himself. I was rooting for him from the beginning, his journey is a heartbreaking one and interesting to read.
The story is divided into two parts, the first part deals with the kidnapping and all other gross things, I can classify the first part as horror/gore, not for the faint heart. I can’t go into details about this part, just know pure evil exist and it was here in form of Brennan’s kidnappers.
Al hauled me into the room, and I let him, my brain spitting static and white noise at me as I tried to form a plan to get out of this situation. As my feet grew less and less reluctant, Al’s grip on me slackened and a plan arose from my fear-addled brain. I took a few steps forward, in the direction of the bed, right where Al wanted me to go. Richard entered the room a moment later– alone, and I could hear Jason yelling from behind him.
The Second part is the most brutal part, the aftermath of all the horror and gore. It is so realistic to a point you can’t help but picture yourself as Brennan. What if you went through what he went through, will you be able to recover? Umm! Nope. The way Brennan and His family deals with the aftermath is so much painful to read. I admit, I am a masochist because, despite it being so painful, I wanted more.
I had never felt so helpless, the old Brennan was gone, long gone. Not like the proverbial box that had housed my family, my memories, my life for months, but actually gone– eradicated, burned away to ash and bone, leaving a walking skeleton in his place.
As for the bad guys.......
I thought the Flesh Cartel was worse, clearly, I had not read and understood worse.
Maddox Grey is a talented writer, I can’t believe this is not a published book. The talent that is in fanfic writing is so amazing and should be celebrated. Most of them are even better than published authors.
Recommended to the readers who are willing to go deeper and darker.
Thank you, Jan for getting me out of my slump and for the amazing non-official buddy read.
And now!
October 17, 2018
Re-read OCT/2018
I'm just going to point you the elephant in the room, in case you haven't seen it yet.
This is NOT a romance.
Thanks sista Shile for this ride! <3
Original review, read 2014.
***** 5 Stars *****
Every once in a while I read a mindfuck book that makes me think THIS IS IT,
this is the most evil and fucked up book I’ve ever came across. Antidote Don’t#2, That's What Brothers Do, Father Figure and Flesh Cartel are some examples of what I thought to be the most evil ever.
Scratch all that because this one just went straight to first position.
This story is a kind of Flesh Cartel, with no cartel. A homemade slave community which pretty much act this way: Pick your boy on the street, plan the trap to get him, take him home and make him submit to your sick and bizarre life style. Not going into psycho-crazy details here.
I would like to point out that the worst part to read wasn't the violence and rape scenes. For my surprise, the hardest part of the book was when Brennan woke in the hospital after being rescued barely alive.
You think: Ok, he is free and I can finally breathe. Let’s have closure and a happy end.
I only wish…
Here is where I felt the emotional punch the most, because it was the moment I, as a reader, crossed over the fiction barrier and stepped in Brennan’s Mom shoes. How could I not? I am a mother.
Brennan’s first contact with his family after his ordeal was overwhelming. It was hard to hold the tears when Brennan saw his brother and Mom in the hospital. I had to swallow it dry as Brennan couldn’t bear to be touched by them.
As a mother, I believe it’s your first instinct to hug and hold on tight to your kid after not having him for 5 months. It touched me deeply and I suffered with her. Christ! I can’t even think of one of my children refusing my touch because of a sexual abuse. How selfish am I??? Brennan is the victim, not you, bitch.
Is there really a chance to recover from a trauma and abuse like this?
“But I’m not the same person,” I replied, drawing in a shuddering breath. “My parents think I’m going to go back to normal one day and I’ll never be normal again. Even if I don’t have AIDS or something else, I feel wrong inside.” I dared to look to the side at my friend’s face. Her expression was sad, but she didn’t seem as disturbed as I thought she would be by the revelation.
“I feel like they put something inside of me and it’s just there‒ rotting‒ and I can’t get it out without hurting myself.” Destroying myself. It was the best way I’d managed to articulate how I was feeling thus far …
Waiting in the Throes is an impressive, extremely disturbing, unforgettable and mindfuck story to the T.
Not for the faint of heart.
I'm just going to point you the elephant in the room, in case you haven't seen it yet.
This is NOT a romance.
Thanks sista Shile for this ride! <3
Original review, read 2014.
***** 5 Stars *****
Every once in a while I read a mindfuck book that makes me think THIS IS IT,
this is the most evil and fucked up book I’ve ever came across. Antidote Don’t#2, That's What Brothers Do, Father Figure and Flesh Cartel are some examples of what I thought to be the most evil ever.
Scratch all that because this one just went straight to first position.
This story is a kind of Flesh Cartel, with no cartel. A homemade slave community which pretty much act this way: Pick your boy on the street, plan the trap to get him, take him home and make him submit to your sick and bizarre life style. Not going into psycho-crazy details here.
I would like to point out that the worst part to read wasn't the violence and rape scenes. For my surprise, the hardest part of the book was when Brennan woke in the hospital after being rescued barely alive.
You think: Ok, he is free and I can finally breathe. Let’s have closure and a happy end.
I only wish…
Here is where I felt the emotional punch the most, because it was the moment I, as a reader, crossed over the fiction barrier and stepped in Brennan’s Mom shoes. How could I not? I am a mother.
Brennan’s first contact with his family after his ordeal was overwhelming. It was hard to hold the tears when Brennan saw his brother and Mom in the hospital. I had to swallow it dry as Brennan couldn’t bear to be touched by them.
As a mother, I believe it’s your first instinct to hug and hold on tight to your kid after not having him for 5 months. It touched me deeply and I suffered with her. Christ! I can’t even think of one of my children refusing my touch because of a sexual abuse. How selfish am I??? Brennan is the victim, not you, bitch.
Is there really a chance to recover from a trauma and abuse like this?
“But I’m not the same person,” I replied, drawing in a shuddering breath. “My parents think I’m going to go back to normal one day and I’ll never be normal again. Even if I don’t have AIDS or something else, I feel wrong inside.” I dared to look to the side at my friend’s face. Her expression was sad, but she didn’t seem as disturbed as I thought she would be by the revelation.
“I feel like they put something inside of me and it’s just there‒ rotting‒ and I can’t get it out without hurting myself.” Destroying myself. It was the best way I’d managed to articulate how I was feeling thus far …
Waiting in the Throes is an impressive, extremely disturbing, unforgettable and mindfuck story to the T.
Not for the faint of heart.
September 2, 2012
I definitely classify this as torture/rape/abuse-porn, so be aware of this going in.
Things I really like about this story:
1) There is no Stockholm Syndrome. Brennan hates his kidnappers, and he never stops hating his kidnappers.
2) The story communicates Brennan's fluctuating sense of self very well. Sometimes he feels strong and determined to hold on to a semblance of himself while he waits to escape. At other times he feels hopless and makes deals with himself to try to accept what Phil and Al do to him, and so minimize his suffering.
3) The relationship between Jason and Brennan.
4) The characters of Phil and Al. I don't mean that I like them as people, but as bad guys they are complex and definitely not one-dimensional, despite them not getting as much page time as Brennan's internal dialogue does. I believe these guys could be real.
5) The author's imagination. I often think that people who write about evil show very little imagination. But I definitely can't accuse MaddoxGrey of this.
6) Emotional pull. Usually a lot of my rating depends on how emotionally tied I feel to the story. That's what will push a book from a four to a five. Classic example is Kabi's November. God I both hate and love this story. I HATE the world and the plot, but it is cutting social commentary, and few stories (none?) have made me cry in rage and shame and disgust and depression like that one did, therefore it's a 5-star story for me.
Similarly, Waiting in the Throes engages my emotions and when I read it I absolutely identify with Brennan.
Looking forward to seeing what happens in part 2.
Things I really like about this story:
1) There is no Stockholm Syndrome. Brennan hates his kidnappers, and he never stops hating his kidnappers.
2) The story communicates Brennan's fluctuating sense of self very well. Sometimes he feels strong and determined to hold on to a semblance of himself while he waits to escape. At other times he feels hopless and makes deals with himself to try to accept what Phil and Al do to him, and so minimize his suffering.
3) The relationship between Jason and Brennan.
4) The characters of Phil and Al. I don't mean that I like them as people, but as bad guys they are complex and definitely not one-dimensional, despite them not getting as much page time as Brennan's internal dialogue does. I believe these guys could be real.
5) The author's imagination. I often think that people who write about evil show very little imagination. But I definitely can't accuse MaddoxGrey of this.
6) Emotional pull. Usually a lot of my rating depends on how emotionally tied I feel to the story. That's what will push a book from a four to a five. Classic example is Kabi's November. God I both hate and love this story. I HATE the world and the plot, but it is cutting social commentary, and few stories (none?) have made me cry in rage and shame and disgust and depression like that one did, therefore it's a 5-star story for me.
Similarly, Waiting in the Throes engages my emotions and when I read it I absolutely identify with Brennan.
Looking forward to seeing what happens in part 2.
February 12, 2013
Like Purplegirl I'm not sure what to say about this. I feel...shattered. Destroyed. OMG. Please tell me there is more. I think I'm going to throw up or have a nervous breakdown if I can not see some light for him.
Edited to add: PLEASE PLEASE do heed my warning that this is very well written and it is graphic, descriptive, and does not shy away from any torturous action. When one of the first things that happens involves pliers and teeth - you know you aren't going anywhere but the deep, dark, depths of the earth. This is horror - not erotica, not romance, and not for anyone who cannot live in hell for a while.
As someone said on one of the boards about being hardcore this book makes you want to tell many of the other authors that think they have any sort of hardcore action going on in their book: "That's it??! Dude, please go sit at the kiddy table and keep your hands in your lap" (Quote from NP)
If you are a fan of The Flesh Cartel #1: Capture series this one is a must read. Not the same - at all - although the pear comes up in both - just that there are some similar elements. This one is very long - someone said 670 pages - that sounds about right. I picked up my Kindle at 2:04PM and didn't finish until 11:35PM - I didn't even stop to eat. Only pee. Some grammar/editing - who the hell cares...I was so engrossed I just kept reading. None of it pulled me out of the story.
Edited to add: PLEASE PLEASE do heed my warning that this is very well written and it is graphic, descriptive, and does not shy away from any torturous action. When one of the first things that happens involves pliers and teeth - you know you aren't going anywhere but the deep, dark, depths of the earth. This is horror - not erotica, not romance, and not for anyone who cannot live in hell for a while.
As someone said on one of the boards about being hardcore this book makes you want to tell many of the other authors that think they have any sort of hardcore action going on in their book: "That's it??! Dude, please go sit at the kiddy table and keep your hands in your lap" (Quote from NP)
If you are a fan of The Flesh Cartel #1: Capture series this one is a must read. Not the same - at all - although the pear comes up in both - just that there are some similar elements. This one is very long - someone said 670 pages - that sounds about right. I picked up my Kindle at 2:04PM and didn't finish until 11:35PM - I didn't even stop to eat. Only pee. Some grammar/editing - who the hell cares...I was so engrossed I just kept reading. None of it pulled me out of the story.
May 12, 2013
Oh, why is this a WIP? I want to read it all now!
From the moment his captors rip Brennan's teeth out, you know you're not in for your usual "Oh, he kidnapped me but he turns out to be really hot and I think I love him" kind of slave fic. And I mean that as a compliment, I promise.
This is raw, visceral, and horrifying.
I also mean that as a compliment.
Brennan's journey is not a nice one. The tiny moments of respite only serve to make the horror more stark.
No Stockholm Syndrome here. No giving in. Every time he sees a chance to escape, Brennan takes it. And every time he fails, his punishments get more vicious. There are real-world consequences here as well. No magic fixes once Brennan's ordeal is over. He's got terrible injuries, a family who doesn't know how to deal with what he's been through any more than he does, and two very scary predators out there who (since this is a WIP) have so far not been found.
I love this. I hate it. I want to read more of it.
From the moment his captors rip Brennan's teeth out, you know you're not in for your usual "Oh, he kidnapped me but he turns out to be really hot and I think I love him" kind of slave fic. And I mean that as a compliment, I promise.
This is raw, visceral, and horrifying.
I also mean that as a compliment.
Brennan's journey is not a nice one. The tiny moments of respite only serve to make the horror more stark.
No Stockholm Syndrome here. No giving in. Every time he sees a chance to escape, Brennan takes it. And every time he fails, his punishments get more vicious. There are real-world consequences here as well. No magic fixes once Brennan's ordeal is over. He's got terrible injuries, a family who doesn't know how to deal with what he's been through any more than he does, and two very scary predators out there who (since this is a WIP) have so far not been found.
I love this. I hate it. I want to read more of it.
ahh-how-about-no
April 23, 2018UPDATE :
I knew this was gonna be dark and twisted, but I was also under the impression that there's gonna be some sprinkle of romance to keep my head above water while I read it. And after my enlightening talk with darling Jan, I found out that there is no romance at all y'all.
Your girl here is practically addicted to romance. So when you throw me a dark and fucked-up book without some good ol romance to keep me going, you know imma be running the other way.
----------------------
Me starting my exploration down the dark and disturbing crevices of M/M genre :
Blog : Click here for more of my reviews
I knew this was gonna be dark and twisted, but I was also under the impression that there's gonna be some sprinkle of romance to keep my head above water while I read it. And after my enlightening talk with darling Jan, I found out that there is no romance at all y'all.
Your girl here is practically addicted to romance. So when you throw me a dark and fucked-up book without some good ol romance to keep me going, you know imma be running the other way.
----------------------
Me starting my exploration down the dark and disturbing crevices of M/M genre :
Blog : Click here for more of my reviews
April 6, 2020
This was pitch black. The story really hold my attention and I felt like I couldn't put it down, not even when things got really dark. BUT I have a big problem with the ending... I just wanted a solid ending. My bad I didn't read the whole blurb.
April 9, 2017
Warnings: DARK, M/M RAPE, ABUSE, TORTURE, COMPULSIVE
Wow, just wow! Six Stars. Read this until 4am in the morning, could not put it down. This is completely enthralling, feel so sorry for Brennan. Will be waiting for further updates with bated breath..
Part One consists of 21 Chapters. The intensely gripping story of the abduction and abuse of 20 year old Brennan Sullivan by two kidnappers looking for a sex slave. Told from Brennan's POV throughout. Quite a long book with quite a few typos which are easily overlooked as the story is such a compelling one.
Part Two - The Aftermath. Read up to chapter 33, sadly the author stalled at this point in March 2014.
"We are in charge of everything in your life now - your pain, your pleasure, when you eat, when you sleep, when you fuck, even when you go to the bathroom, and as soon as you recognize that, your life is going to get a lot easier."
Wow, just wow! Six Stars. Read this until 4am in the morning, could not put it down. This is completely enthralling, feel so sorry for Brennan. Will be waiting for further updates with bated breath..
Part One consists of 21 Chapters. The intensely gripping story of the abduction and abuse of 20 year old Brennan Sullivan by two kidnappers looking for a sex slave. Told from Brennan's POV throughout. Quite a long book with quite a few typos which are easily overlooked as the story is such a compelling one.
Part Two - The Aftermath. Read up to chapter 33, sadly the author stalled at this point in March 2014.
"We are in charge of everything in your life now - your pain, your pleasure, when you eat, when you sleep, when you fuck, even when you go to the bathroom, and as soon as you recognize that, your life is going to get a lot easier."
November 30, 2014
Ok, so this is demented and gut wrenching -- a book too treacherous for me, a nightmare too close to reality. I still can't watch 'Dexter' and psychopaths don't appeal to me.
Brennan is kidnapped and abused by two guys intent on making him their bitch. I could only get as far as pliers and teeth. It IS well written and compelling so if this is your thing you will get sucked in. Warning, definitely not for the faint-of-heart.
Brennan is kidnapped and abused by two guys intent on making him their bitch. I could only get as far as pliers and teeth. It IS well written and compelling so if this is your thing you will get sucked in. Warning, definitely not for the faint-of-heart.
May 22, 2013
Amazing. I will say from the start, if you do not heed the warnings on this one, you are the only one to blame. The length of this kept putting me off, but then I decided to take a peek when a friend started reading it. Well, a few pages into chapter one, this grabbed hold and it still hasn't let go.
I loved that it didn't waste any time before going right into the abduction, and I love that Brennan is the one telling this story. I had to continuously remind myself this was just a story, but the line between reality and make believe is very thin. It didn't help that I saw more than one headline of a missing college boy while reading this. The recent escape of the 10 year captive girls in the news solidified the realm of possibility for me. In other words, I had no trouble believing Brennan's story.
The scenes and events that are told over the 4 months of Brennan's kidnapping are very graphic and vividly detailed. There are many, many cringeworthy moments, and the mindfucking going on is heartbreaking as well. How Brennan was able to survive physically, let alone mentally, is completely beyond me. Yet, he never gives up fighting.
This was a very intense story that pretty much went nonstop, though I never felt as if it was repetitive or dragging out. Chapter 21 was the most intense chapter I can remember reading. Aside from a missed or erroneous word here and there, the writing was fabulous and smooth. I knew going in that this was a WIP. While I was sad when I reached the end, just knowing there was more planned, lifted me right up. Most stories of a similar nature tend to end here or gloss over the recovery. I am very excited to see it play out with Brennan, as I feel he has much more to show us.
Waiting for part two is going to be tough. Thankfully, I have discovered Maddox' tumblr which has many questions and answers to keep me happy while I await the next chapter.
I loved that it didn't waste any time before going right into the abduction, and I love that Brennan is the one telling this story. I had to continuously remind myself this was just a story, but the line between reality and make believe is very thin. It didn't help that I saw more than one headline of a missing college boy while reading this. The recent escape of the 10 year captive girls in the news solidified the realm of possibility for me. In other words, I had no trouble believing Brennan's story.
The scenes and events that are told over the 4 months of Brennan's kidnapping are very graphic and vividly detailed. There are many, many cringeworthy moments, and the mindfucking going on is heartbreaking as well. How Brennan was able to survive physically, let alone mentally, is completely beyond me. Yet, he never gives up fighting.
This was a very intense story that pretty much went nonstop, though I never felt as if it was repetitive or dragging out. Chapter 21 was the most intense chapter I can remember reading. Aside from a missed or erroneous word here and there, the writing was fabulous and smooth. I knew going in that this was a WIP. While I was sad when I reached the end, just knowing there was more planned, lifted me right up. Most stories of a similar nature tend to end here or gloss over the recovery. I am very excited to see it play out with Brennan, as I feel he has much more to show us.
Waiting for part two is going to be tough. Thankfully, I have discovered Maddox' tumblr which has many questions and answers to keep me happy while I await the next chapter.
October 24, 2012
I agree with Oceankitty`s review.
Waiting In The Throes is not a supposed-to-be-titillating rape/abuse porn - it`s Horror.
Like watching a terrible accident happening in slow motion...horrified, appalled, but unable to look away for even a second.
I put the story on my reader, read it in one day in one go and as I finished I looked at the page count and it almost knocked me off my seat - 670 pages that felt like reading 300 max.....
Who cares for wrong spelling and typos when an author manages to pull a reader into a story so much. Wow, what a writer...
Surprising was, that the most obvious flaw of the story - ignoring the physical limits of a human body more than once - made the story easier to read. For me, the incredibility of the story worked well as a slight emotional detachment - I couldn`t have read it otherwise.
First book is complete, the sequel is a WIP currently three chapters in.
Dear author, get on with it I want to know what happened to Jason!
I won`t recommend it to everyone, you know your limits so read the warnings and better think twice.
Waiting In The Throes is not a supposed-to-be-titillating rape/abuse porn - it`s Horror.
Like watching a terrible accident happening in slow motion...horrified, appalled, but unable to look away for even a second.
I put the story on my reader, read it in one day in one go and as I finished I looked at the page count and it almost knocked me off my seat - 670 pages that felt like reading 300 max.....
Who cares for wrong spelling and typos when an author manages to pull a reader into a story so much. Wow, what a writer...
Surprising was, that the most obvious flaw of the story - ignoring the physical limits of a human body more than once - made the story easier to read. For me, the incredibility of the story worked well as a slight emotional detachment - I couldn`t have read it otherwise.
First book is complete, the sequel is a WIP currently three chapters in.
Dear author, get on with it I want to know what happened to Jason!
I won`t recommend it to everyone, you know your limits so read the warnings and better think twice.
September 5, 2016
Competent prose which would have benefitted from an editor. However, for what coldly looked at should be a harrowing tale, either belonging more to the genre of Horror (like Living Dead Girl), or to the one of Dark Erotica (Captive in the Dark or Gaijin), this was a major fail for me. I was bored after the first 10% and stayed bored, never truly connecting with any of the characters. There was no emotional bond available, this read a lot like very unemotional non-fiction.
Edit: after reading the truly gritty, emotional and realistic Angel, which deals with this topic so much better, I've decided I have to downgrade this by one star.
ETA: and after yet another while all I remember is how utterly stupid and exasperating and--above all--how unbelievably unrealistic that guy's behaviour was. That on the other hand was clearly written to be able to write more torture done to him. So, after some distance I take this down another star, because I really don't like being had for a ride.
Edit: after reading the truly gritty, emotional and realistic Angel, which deals with this topic so much better, I've decided I have to downgrade this by one star.
ETA: and after yet another while all I remember is how utterly stupid and exasperating and--above all--how unbelievably unrealistic that guy's behaviour was. That on the other hand was clearly written to be able to write more torture done to him. So, after some distance I take this down another star, because I really don't like being had for a ride.
April 6, 2017
If I had known going into this book that it was an unfinished story that the author quit on three years ago, I never would have bothered.
I took a chance on this, despite being hosted on a fanfic site, because of all of the positive reviews, and I was in the mood for something dark. I got dark. The story was insanely dark, and my heart broke for Brennan. I cheered for him to survive, and I became incredibly invested in his story. And then, as the chapters ticked by, I started to worry. 33 chapters, about the length of an extra-long novel. Cool.
Except THERE IS NO ENDING.
The book just stops at chapter 33. Okay, fine, I figured the story is still being written and updated, so I checked. The last update was March 2014.
THREE YEARS AGO.
No updates for THREE YEARS.
I feel as if I just wasted the last two days of life, put up with horrible editing, and invested in a story that ultimately has no resolution.
You know that feeling you get when a TV show you love gets cancelled midway through season two, and you get nothing? Yeah. That.
I took a chance on this, despite being hosted on a fanfic site, because of all of the positive reviews, and I was in the mood for something dark. I got dark. The story was insanely dark, and my heart broke for Brennan. I cheered for him to survive, and I became incredibly invested in his story. And then, as the chapters ticked by, I started to worry. 33 chapters, about the length of an extra-long novel. Cool.
Except THERE IS NO ENDING.
The book just stops at chapter 33. Okay, fine, I figured the story is still being written and updated, so I checked. The last update was March 2014.
THREE YEARS AGO.
No updates for THREE YEARS.
I feel as if I just wasted the last two days of life, put up with horrible editing, and invested in a story that ultimately has no resolution.
You know that feeling you get when a TV show you love gets cancelled midway through season two, and you get nothing? Yeah. That.
October 20, 2012
I don't even know what to say about this. The story kept my attention. It was rough, hard to read and good all at the same time. So much torture and crazy bastards.
-------------------------------
If you liked this story then you may be interested in the group the Depraved Mind Club.
-------------------------------
If you liked this story then you may be interested in the group the Depraved Mind Club.
wip
September 20, 2012I don't know how Brennan escaped the Stockholm Syndrome, because I didn't. Phil, I hope he dies a fiery death but there's a part of me that feels sorry for Al. What's wrong with my brain?
February 5, 2014
Can you absolutely abhor a book, how it made you feel, the pain it put you through, yet be convinced it's the best you've ever read in a particular genre? That's what happened to me with this one, and the genre is horror.
Nothing I can say will be any better or clearer than the reviews already available for this story. So I'll just go with the following:
Though there were things aplenty that literally made me go "hmmm," stuff that the normal suspension of disbelief required to read fiction just can't cover, it was never the characters. Brennan survived stuff that would have killed any normal human being, to continue to take a licking and keep on ticking. But him, his captors, every single character in this story is real. If there is any value in this story, it's as a primer for character development.
The slow pace and graphic detail threatened to make me DNF several times. I did stick it out to the last, currently available chapter, #32. Hopefully, I'll see notifications from friends in the DMC group to let me know when it's finished. From the look of things, it'll take another 30 chapters to take it to it's end. I'll read them, because I need to see Brennan, and if possible, Jason in a good place.
I have a shelf called "put on your big kid pants." This leaves that shelf in the dust. Head the warnings.
Nothing I can say will be any better or clearer than the reviews already available for this story. So I'll just go with the following:
Though there were things aplenty that literally made me go "hmmm," stuff that the normal suspension of disbelief required to read fiction just can't cover, it was never the characters. Brennan survived stuff that would have killed any normal human being, to continue to take a licking and keep on ticking. But him, his captors, every single character in this story is real. If there is any value in this story, it's as a primer for character development.
The slow pace and graphic detail threatened to make me DNF several times. I did stick it out to the last, currently available chapter, #32. Hopefully, I'll see notifications from friends in the DMC group to let me know when it's finished. From the look of things, it'll take another 30 chapters to take it to it's end. I'll read them, because I need to see Brennan, and if possible, Jason in a good place.
I have a shelf called "put on your big kid pants." This leaves that shelf in the dust. Head the warnings.
December 28, 2012
Waiting in the Throes is like a six car pile up on the interstate with body parts all over. You can't help but look and then can't help to keep looking back. It is the ultimate in horror and man's total inhumanity to man. There is nothing nice or endearing about this story but I couldn't help but finish reading it. The characters are well developed and complex. The fact that Al and Phil stalked Brennen for six months before abducting him shows the planning that went into this story. The bad guy/worse guy fluctuations between Phil and Al kept me guessing just who was in charge. Told from Brennen's POV, I could feel the his agony and helplessness. The bond between Jason and Brennen held a hopeless yet held some positive thinking that the two could share. This book did not leave me feeling good at the end but it left me intrigued in just how base individuals can get.
May 23, 2013
Waiting in the Throes is an extremely violent story about Brennan and how he is kidnapped and tortured. I don't cringe while reading very often and I did in a couple of places with this one. So, if you decide to read this, please note the advisory warning because it isn't overstating what you will read.
There was just something about the way the characters interacted that kept me coming back for each new chapter though. Phil and Al are Brennan's kidnappers. Phil thrives on the pain he gives Brennan and is constantly thinking up new tortures. Al is delusional and feels that there is a relationship evolving.
Then a few chapter into the book you are introduced to two other characters. Jason is another kidnapping victim and Richard is the one that took him. Jason has been with Richard for years and hasn't been able to escape.
I find that I just had to know what happens to Brennan and Jason. That is what has kept me going for the entire book. One final thing I would like to say is about the first part of the story is that the last thing Brennan says at the end of chapter 21 is probably my favorite line. Take note of that if you choose to try reading this.
Now that the sequel is under way, I can say that I am not disappointed in how things are advancing. The author chose to continue the sequel as part of the same book. The sequel is being posted approximately one chapter every four to six weeks.
The first several chapters deal with Brennan being found and his recovery in the hospital. This recovery is not glossed over and is an in depth look into what Brennan is feeling and shows the fear he has of being found. I like that this part is taking a while to finish. Nobody goes through what Brennan did and comes out okay. He has major issues and I like to read about how he is coping. It adds a reality to the story that I find missing in the ones where patients heal between one chapter and the next.
I will definitely keep checking for updates on this book. I have not been disappointed with what I have read so far and can only say that I have no fear that I will be let down during future chapters. I can't wait to read them.
There was just something about the way the characters interacted that kept me coming back for each new chapter though. Phil and Al are Brennan's kidnappers. Phil thrives on the pain he gives Brennan and is constantly thinking up new tortures. Al is delusional and feels that there is a relationship evolving.
Then a few chapter into the book you are introduced to two other characters. Jason is another kidnapping victim and Richard is the one that took him. Jason has been with Richard for years and hasn't been able to escape.
I find that I just had to know what happens to Brennan and Jason. That is what has kept me going for the entire book. One final thing I would like to say is about the first part of the story is that the last thing Brennan says at the end of chapter 21 is probably my favorite line. Take note of that if you choose to try reading this.
Now that the sequel is under way, I can say that I am not disappointed in how things are advancing. The author chose to continue the sequel as part of the same book. The sequel is being posted approximately one chapter every four to six weeks.
The first several chapters deal with Brennan being found and his recovery in the hospital. This recovery is not glossed over and is an in depth look into what Brennan is feeling and shows the fear he has of being found. I like that this part is taking a while to finish. Nobody goes through what Brennan did and comes out okay. He has major issues and I like to read about how he is coping. It adds a reality to the story that I find missing in the ones where patients heal between one chapter and the next.
I will definitely keep checking for updates on this book. I have not been disappointed with what I have read so far and can only say that I have no fear that I will be let down during future chapters. I can't wait to read them.
April 23, 2018
This is a trip through hell, taken in the first person, singular. I thought I was fairly immune to strong material like this but I have to say that the events described herein even had tough ol' me wincing at times. The tale unfolds realistically and the characters have enough flesh on them to make this an entirely believable horror story. This nightmare of a young man's torture after being kidnapped is relentlessly detailed and in your face so if you're squeamish at all, pass on this one (or skip the scene where they're heating up the steam iron and there's not a wrinkled shirt in sight). If you're like me, however, and like a breathtaking ride that compels you through to its end, it'll be hard to find a better one than this. In fact, if you do, please let me know. I like this writer a lot and am hoping there’s more to come from her soon.
July 11, 2020
The only thing I can think to say is holy fcking shit.
This story is DARK to a level that I cannot even describe. This is NOT a romance and is the most heart-wrenching, horrific thing I've ever read. It will make your stomach turn, it will make you cry, and you will wonder how in the world Brennan could possibly survive this gruesome torture and abuse. This is not for those who have only dipped their toes into dark stories before. Waiting in the Throes does not hold any punches and instead shows the reader every graphic, horrible thing that happens to Brennan. I suggest going in blind if you want the full impact of the story, especially so the suspense of not knowing whether Brennan will escape is not ruined for you.
The writing itself was outstanding and showcased Brennan's psychological breakdown very well. The author definitely has talent and knew how to keep you on your toes, waiting in terror for what was coming next. The traumatizing and creative (I feel like I'm going to hell just for saying that) ways in which his captors tortured, abused, and broke Brennan down was appalling, startling, and so unimaginable that I don't even know how the author came up with such scenes. I had never really felt the need to puke reading a book before but that has certainly changed. This is not simply a scene or two then the rest of the book is the aftermath. No, you will live Brennan's nightmare for a long time before there is even a glimpse of hope.
I do wish there was a more definite ending. I have so many unanswered questions and things I want to know. From what I understand, the author seems to have disappeared and this wasn't the intended ending. It didn't end on a cliffhanger, per se, but there were so many things that hadn't been resolved yet. In my heart, I'm going to tell myself Brennan got a "happy" ending. After a story like that, he deserves it.
This story is DARK to a level that I cannot even describe. This is NOT a romance and is the most heart-wrenching, horrific thing I've ever read. It will make your stomach turn, it will make you cry, and you will wonder how in the world Brennan could possibly survive this gruesome torture and abuse. This is not for those who have only dipped their toes into dark stories before. Waiting in the Throes does not hold any punches and instead shows the reader every graphic, horrible thing that happens to Brennan. I suggest going in blind if you want the full impact of the story, especially so the suspense of not knowing whether Brennan will escape is not ruined for you.
The writing itself was outstanding and showcased Brennan's psychological breakdown very well. The author definitely has talent and knew how to keep you on your toes, waiting in terror for what was coming next. The traumatizing and creative (I feel like I'm going to hell just for saying that) ways in which his captors tortured, abused, and broke Brennan down was appalling, startling, and so unimaginable that I don't even know how the author came up with such scenes. I had never really felt the need to puke reading a book before but that has certainly changed. This is not simply a scene or two then the rest of the book is the aftermath. No, you will live Brennan's nightmare for a long time before there is even a glimpse of hope.
I do wish there was a more definite ending. I have so many unanswered questions and things I want to know. From what I understand, the author seems to have disappeared and this wasn't the intended ending. It didn't end on a cliffhanger, per se, but there were so many things that hadn't been resolved yet. In my heart, I'm going to tell myself Brennan got a "happy" ending. After a story like that, he deserves it.
January 2, 2016
This is an adult fan fiction book broken into two large segments. WARNING: This book is extremely graphic in the sexual abuse and torture a young man (turns 21 in the book) is forced to endure. The first part is his capture and abuse over a period of months. The second segment is afterward when he must deal with his family, the press, the police and the worst--his own mind.
I found this story to be riveting -- horribly so in the abuse part, but equally interesting and a little horrifying in what victims go through in the aftermath. This story could easily have gone OTT and become a porn read instead of the "can't put it down" category I would put it in. Kudos to the author.
A few points that someone should probably be aware of before they spend the time (it is long) to read this book:
There are some typos and even some errors in continuity of the story -- this is not a polished book.
It is NOT FINISHED. There's really no cliffhanger per se, but there are definitely a lot of loose ends after the last chapter. Really important ones in my opinion (Jason, FBI, suspects). I hope this author continues on with the story (it looks like its been over a year since her last update). I would gladly pay money for a complete book.
I found this story to be riveting -- horribly so in the abuse part, but equally interesting and a little horrifying in what victims go through in the aftermath. This story could easily have gone OTT and become a porn read instead of the "can't put it down" category I would put it in. Kudos to the author.
A few points that someone should probably be aware of before they spend the time (it is long) to read this book:
There are some typos and even some errors in continuity of the story -- this is not a polished book.
It is NOT FINISHED. There's really no cliffhanger per se, but there are definitely a lot of loose ends after the last chapter. Really important ones in my opinion (Jason, FBI, suspects). I hope this author continues on with the story (it looks like its been over a year since her last update). I would gladly pay money for a complete book.
Read
March 5, 2014
This made my ass hurt. I needed an end-goal. The writing is sinisterly intriguing on a forensic-behavioral-level. But I lost interest in being consistently horrified after chapter 20. You gotta throw me a bone every once in a while..if you're going to subject me to something so torturously long. Keep me pacified..not just horrified.
Fog: A Novel of Desire and Reprisal was a good example of human depravity with similar 'dark' content..but does it w/200+ pages.
And I always want to know what inspires someone to write this.
NOTE: This is a WIP (work-in-progress) FREE online story. I stopped reading/DNF'd after MC is rescued @chapter 23 (75-80%). No rate due to unfinished status.
July 11, 2020
Okay I will put this book on hold. Lately I have been into dark books and thankfully I loved all the ones I read so far. But this one? God I couldn't even finish it or read past 35% of the book.
Let me just be clear and let you guys know that I'm into ROMANTIC dark books (emphasis on the romance part). I don't mind kidnapping, torture etc. BUT I expected the main character to fall in love with his/her kidnapper, fellow prisoner or heck her/his rescuer.
And this book took me by surprise. Not what I expected that at all. I couldn't read any rape scenes anymore. It's too much. I won't even mind a little bit of romance in the book. But there was nothing. Nada. *sigh* this book is just too fucked up for me to finish it.
Am I going to continue reading this book ever? No idea to be honest. I just know I need to read a fluffy, cliche book in order to calm down and forget what I read.
Let me just be clear and let you guys know that I'm into ROMANTIC dark books (emphasis on the romance part). I don't mind kidnapping, torture etc. BUT I expected the main character to fall in love with his/her kidnapper, fellow prisoner or heck her/his rescuer.
And this book took me by surprise. Not what I expected that at all. I couldn't read any rape scenes anymore. It's too much. I won't even mind a little bit of romance in the book. But there was nothing. Nada. *sigh* this book is just too fucked up for me to finish it.
Am I going to continue reading this book ever? No idea to be honest. I just know I need to read a fluffy, cliche book in order to calm down and forget what I read.
September 22, 2013
Make sure that you take the warnings about this read seriously. It is harsh and brutal, but also amazing.
I took my time reading this, only reading a few chapters at a time, but I never forgot what I had already read when I came back to it. This will stay with me for a long time. I would of very happily paid to read this amazing story.
I took my time reading this, only reading a few chapters at a time, but I never forgot what I had already read when I came back to it. This will stay with me for a long time. I would of very happily paid to read this amazing story.
July 29, 2016
This story hurts my soul, but I can't stop reading the updates. I wonder when things are going to get better, if ever.
October 24, 2018
WOW!! I'm almost speechless and totally shattered! Some of that is due to the fact that I'll probably never know how this book was going to end...
Did Phil get carved up in his own personal snuff film?
Did Al get over his delusions that kidnapping someone for sex does not equal "adding a third to your relationship"?
Did Brennan and Jason ever see each other again?
This was one of the best books I've ever read. So well written that I physcially hurt for Brennan while he was subjected to all sorts of horrors.
I can tell this is going to stay with me for a long time to come....and I'm left to wonder...
Did Phil get carved up in his own personal snuff film?
Did Al get over his delusions that kidnapping someone for sex does not equal "adding a third to your relationship"?
Did Brennan and Jason ever see each other again?
This was one of the best books I've ever read. So well written that I physcially hurt for Brennan while he was subjected to all sorts of horrors.
I can tell this is going to stay with me for a long time to come....and I'm left to wonder...
March 14, 2013
Sooo. This is pretty fucked up. And memorable, because I won't be forgetting this any time soon. Rating this book is very difficult, since I can't say I liked it, I didn't enjoy it. But it's well done, very well done, and for that, it deserves a higher rating (like 4 stars). The story isn't bad, it's just awful to read.
"Waiting in the Throes" is really hard to put down because as boring it is to read about happy people, when you read about seriously unhappy people you just have to continue reading to see if stuff ever gets better. And by seriously unhappy people I mean people that make you ask yourself why they just don't kill themselves. Really. I just wanted him to please, please kill himself. People constantly use the image of watching a train wreck in slow motion for books that make you miserable. I'd be fine with that. This is like watching puppies and kittens being tortured to death in slow motion. With sound.
As I was reading "Waiting in the Throes" I got this feeling that hey, this is reminding me of something. After a while I got it: classic erotica. I guess the reason the classic erotica people still talk about today is the kind of freaky stuff that makes 90% of people wonder why it is considered erotic and not traditional "get your juices flowing"-erotica is because the mundane variants were too boring to be kept around, and people just produce new stuff all the time anyway. The shocking pieces stick around. This is like a mix between Marquis de Sade (notably Justine, but more or less anything he wrote will do) and Pauline Réage (Story of O). Whereas O is in the mansion on her own accord, her situation is somewhat similar to Brennan's (and well, the branding, the hints of that 'this is a fucked up society thing not just two random psycopaths', etc.), and you have the same dynamics as in Marquis de Sade's attempts to show that men are beasts, as stuff goes from crap to bad to awful to bloody horrible to please just kill yourself and spare us, the readers.
And writing something like this must be... an experience. This isn't poorly written smut with some violence thrown in. There's a big difference between a little non-con where someone in addition gets slapped around by a furious guy, and playing goddamned torture games with dice. I don't get the feeling AT ALL that this was written for the sake of someone's dark desires. "Waiting in the Throes" is much more about breaking someone down than about writing innumerable highly uncomfortable scenes where you just can't stop thinking, don't they realize that they are going too far? Why permanently break your toys? One guy is a nuuuurse, shouldn't he be more careful? How much longer is poor Brennan going to survive this stuff? And this is some seriously brave writing. The MM factor reduces the reading crowd. Godawful torture kind of minimizes it.
Kudos to the author for creating seriously creepy creeps that I somehow, somewhere, for a time at least, wanted to like, because I was waiting for them to show some sort of humanity among all the torture and delusional crap they pull. And I do like one of them a little as they play the good cop role. Which, admittedly, never lasts, but still. The creepiness just increases as they talk about small, ordinary things, make scrambled eggs and pancakes and asks their tortured prisoner what he wants for breakfast. Ah. Something of a book, this one. Not for the faint of heart.
And damnit, this is just part one.
"Waiting in the Throes" is really hard to put down because as boring it is to read about happy people, when you read about seriously unhappy people you just have to continue reading to see if stuff ever gets better. And by seriously unhappy people I mean people that make you ask yourself why they just don't kill themselves. Really. I just wanted him to please, please kill himself. People constantly use the image of watching a train wreck in slow motion for books that make you miserable. I'd be fine with that. This is like watching puppies and kittens being tortured to death in slow motion. With sound.
As I was reading "Waiting in the Throes" I got this feeling that hey, this is reminding me of something. After a while I got it: classic erotica. I guess the reason the classic erotica people still talk about today is the kind of freaky stuff that makes 90% of people wonder why it is considered erotic and not traditional "get your juices flowing"-erotica is because the mundane variants were too boring to be kept around, and people just produce new stuff all the time anyway. The shocking pieces stick around. This is like a mix between Marquis de Sade (notably Justine, but more or less anything he wrote will do) and Pauline Réage (Story of O). Whereas O is in the mansion on her own accord, her situation is somewhat similar to Brennan's (and well, the branding, the hints of that 'this is a fucked up society thing not just two random psycopaths', etc.), and you have the same dynamics as in Marquis de Sade's attempts to show that men are beasts, as stuff goes from crap to bad to awful to bloody horrible to please just kill yourself and spare us, the readers.
And writing something like this must be... an experience. This isn't poorly written smut with some violence thrown in. There's a big difference between a little non-con where someone in addition gets slapped around by a furious guy, and playing goddamned torture games with dice. I don't get the feeling AT ALL that this was written for the sake of someone's dark desires. "Waiting in the Throes" is much more about breaking someone down than about writing innumerable highly uncomfortable scenes where you just can't stop thinking, don't they realize that they are going too far? Why permanently break your toys? One guy is a nuuuurse, shouldn't he be more careful? How much longer is poor Brennan going to survive this stuff? And this is some seriously brave writing. The MM factor reduces the reading crowd. Godawful torture kind of minimizes it.
Kudos to the author for creating seriously creepy creeps that I somehow, somewhere, for a time at least, wanted to like, because I was waiting for them to show some sort of humanity among all the torture and delusional crap they pull. And I do like one of them a little as they play the good cop role. Which, admittedly, never lasts, but still. The creepiness just increases as they talk about small, ordinary things, make scrambled eggs and pancakes and asks their tortured prisoner what he wants for breakfast. Ah. Something of a book, this one. Not for the faint of heart.
And damnit, this is just part one.
May 21, 2013
This is one of THE best books I've ever read, and it's finished yet.
It had me hooked and inside a little bubble for two days, I didn't escape the bubble even when I wasn't reading. My thought were always with Brennan and in time with Jason.
The book was so brutal in parts it made me physically ill (amazing to get that reaction from a book!) My heart broke time and time again at the appalling abuse, this book is really not for the faint of heart.
No Stockholm syndrome, the abductors/abusers never falter in their stride and become more vile as the book progress.
I loved Al and Phil as characters, how awesome to create such vile villains who can be literately the man behind you in the supermarket queue or the nurse who gives you triage at a&e. And they are vile, vile vile and sadistic and just made this book one of my all time favourites.
Waiting with held breath for the monthly updates!
It had me hooked and inside a little bubble for two days, I didn't escape the bubble even when I wasn't reading. My thought were always with Brennan and in time with Jason.
The book was so brutal in parts it made me physically ill (amazing to get that reaction from a book!) My heart broke time and time again at the appalling abuse, this book is really not for the faint of heart.
No Stockholm syndrome, the abductors/abusers never falter in their stride and become more vile as the book progress.
I loved Al and Phil as characters, how awesome to create such vile villains who can be literately the man behind you in the supermarket queue or the nurse who gives you triage at a&e. And they are vile, vile vile and sadistic and just made this book one of my all time favourites.
Waiting with held breath for the monthly updates!
May 7, 2024
This story was so dark, twisted, and engaging. The characters are so well done. This story shows every single hellish moment of Brennan’s ordeal. There are no fade to blacks, no long time skips, it’s brutal day after day in hell. And, while redundant and hard to get through, to me that is what differentiated this book from others of a similar genre, where often authors would skip through the prolonged period of suffering.
This is the only story of this dark genre I’ve ever read that compares to the flesh cartel in terms of darkness, plot, and character quality.
It is not finished unfortunately— I was shocked when I reached the end only to see it cut off. But that is the risk of reading online books that aren’t published. Additionally it is full of grammatical errors— thankfully nothing too intrusive, but enough to bother you if you know your grammar. Nonetheless this story will definitely stick in my mind for a long time. I look forward to rereading in the future
This is the only story of this dark genre I’ve ever read that compares to the flesh cartel in terms of darkness, plot, and character quality.
It is not finished unfortunately— I was shocked when I reached the end only to see it cut off. But that is the risk of reading online books that aren’t published. Additionally it is full of grammatical errors— thankfully nothing too intrusive, but enough to bother you if you know your grammar. Nonetheless this story will definitely stick in my mind for a long time. I look forward to rereading in the future
wip
August 21, 2012I love Traxie and this may still be a little too dark for me - Brennan is a college student kidnapped by Phil and Al to be their sex slave, and it is pretty much unrelenting pain and suffering from there on out, with multiple rapes and torture. The writing is really good, and Brennan's reactions are spot on, which makes this story feel scarily real.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 124 reviews