What do you think?
Rate this book
A F*ckload of Shorts
"...you’ll love every page of this sick little collection of the inner skull scrapings of a madman..." -- Scott Phillips, from the introduction
A F*ckload of Shorts is the debut story collection from Jedidiah Ayres. Two stories from this collection have been adapted into the films Viscosity and A F*ckload of Scotch Tape.
A F*ckload of Shorts is the debut story collection from Jedidiah Ayres. Two stories from this collection have been adapted into the films Viscosity and A F*ckload of Scotch Tape.
200 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
7 people are currently reading
95 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
August 24, 2016
Jedidiah Ayres is such a great writer that if he wrote more accessible stuff like a coming of age family drama or a thriller with the word Girl in the title, he would be a household name. But instead he writes stuff like this collection of stories full of depraved violence, filthy sex, disturbing psychology, comedy blacker than the darkest night, and characters devoid of any moral center, and it's all for the better. It's one of the best written pieces of work I've read this year by a writer more people should know about. Most of the stories in this collection shouldn't work; they should feel too ridiculous. And Ayres takes these things to places you were sure he wouldn't dare go, but you'll be so wrapped up in his storytelling flair, that by the time you get to the witch-burning and the necrophilia, you will simply be along for the ride.
He tries his hands at a variety of genres here, from noir, Western, apocalyptic, or a couple of comedies that have a Friends of Eddie Coyle-ish stream-of-dialogue style, but he puts his own twisted spin on all of them. Try reading "Hoosier Daddy," "The Whole Buffalo," or this bewildering and tantalizing passage near the beginning of "The Adversary," and not want to read everything else he's written:
He tries his hands at a variety of genres here, from noir, Western, apocalyptic, or a couple of comedies that have a Friends of Eddie Coyle-ish stream-of-dialogue style, but he puts his own twisted spin on all of them. Try reading "Hoosier Daddy," "The Whole Buffalo," or this bewildering and tantalizing passage near the beginning of "The Adversary," and not want to read everything else he's written:
The witch had been holding ceremonies. Sacrifices. Poultry mostly. She blessed and hexed for a fee and she'd send and deliver messages across the Stygian chasms separating worlds. All of her arts were brought over from the Dark Continent and she practiced in the woods under penalty of death by the Law of Moses, which the Reverend Chalfont Avery was charged with upholding now in the face of Armageddon. He had been present at her execution, a willing and enthusiastic participant, but the kicking feet of the blasphemer brought not the warmth of God to his soul, so they torched her home to mirror the flames of Hades and on them he warmed his hands.It's a shame that this book is out of print by SnubNose Press. I'm lucky to have stumbled onto a used copy in an LA bookstore. If you can find it, snatch it up. But if you can't, his novella Fierce Bitches is the best thing I've read so far this year, and I'm sure his full-length novel, Peckerwood, which I haven't read yet (soon come), is just as great.
May 30, 2016
It's a pity this one's out of print, at least for the reading public; from the standpoint of a collector, it's probably not a bad thing.
Anyway, the author Jed Ayres is primarily known for his hard-boiled masterpiece "Peckerwood," (the germs of which are presented as vignettes in this early collection), but, based on the strength of the stories collected here, Ayres demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is the master of the short story form. It's hard to single out a certain stories for especial praise, but if held at gunpoint, I'd have to concede a soft spot for "The Whole Buffalo" "Amateurs," "Viscosity" and "Adversary."
Looking over that list, it occurs to me that I cited about half the contents of the book, which should give the reader a glimpse into the work's quality. I knew Ayres was a good writer going in, but what I didn't know is that he could write at different speeds, in different genres, and in disparate time periods. It's all here, from McCarthy-esque (the writer, not the senator) Western, to grisly, sometimes Lovecraftian horror, and a piece that features a three-way conversation with no dialogue attribution that ranks up there with vintage George V. Higgins
Ayres is, by my count, three for three ("Peckerwood" "Fierce B*tches," and "F*ckload of Shorts") and is seriously making a play for my all-time top three crime writers pantheon. His command of the fine line between humor and horror, as well as lending credibility to every voice he brings to life (so real you can almost hear an echo when you close one of his books) puts him in company with not just Price and Ellroy, but Thompson and HImes.
The publisher deserves a small bit of criticism for some weird indentation choices that are distracting, as well as not pruning the MS of typos, but the author shouldn't be penalized for their publisher's mistake. Highest Recommendation.
Anyway, the author Jed Ayres is primarily known for his hard-boiled masterpiece "Peckerwood," (the germs of which are presented as vignettes in this early collection), but, based on the strength of the stories collected here, Ayres demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is the master of the short story form. It's hard to single out a certain stories for especial praise, but if held at gunpoint, I'd have to concede a soft spot for "The Whole Buffalo" "Amateurs," "Viscosity" and "Adversary."
Looking over that list, it occurs to me that I cited about half the contents of the book, which should give the reader a glimpse into the work's quality. I knew Ayres was a good writer going in, but what I didn't know is that he could write at different speeds, in different genres, and in disparate time periods. It's all here, from McCarthy-esque (the writer, not the senator) Western, to grisly, sometimes Lovecraftian horror, and a piece that features a three-way conversation with no dialogue attribution that ranks up there with vintage George V. Higgins
Ayres is, by my count, three for three ("Peckerwood" "Fierce B*tches," and "F*ckload of Shorts") and is seriously making a play for my all-time top three crime writers pantheon. His command of the fine line between humor and horror, as well as lending credibility to every voice he brings to life (so real you can almost hear an echo when you close one of his books) puts him in company with not just Price and Ellroy, but Thompson and HImes.
The publisher deserves a small bit of criticism for some weird indentation choices that are distracting, as well as not pruning the MS of typos, but the author shouldn't be penalized for their publisher's mistake. Highest Recommendation.
July 19, 2020
All through this book I was thinking it deserved five stars but the last few stories were not great for me so it dropped to four. That said, the book was great! If you can find a copy it’s definitely worth reading.
August 12, 2012
The most impressive thing about these stories is how skillfully the author reinvents his voice for each, with the changing points of view and different historical eras. It’s also got some of the best dialogue I’ve read in a while, whether he’s delivering well-crafted hardboiled zingers or just realistic conversational volleys. The descriptions are visceral and economical, and will leave you tasting blood (or worse) and laughing in your enemies’ faces as these characters scratch and claw their way out of the holes they’ve dug for themselves, knocking over convenience stores or kidnapping children or evading a lynching or cutting corners to keep their mortuary business alive (er, you know what I mean). Being noir, there are no heroes, all relationships are doomed, and we’re just along for the score. Great stuff.
Some of these stories and characters were the basis for the indie feature film F*ckload of Scotch Tape, which I highly recommend at well.
Some of these stories and characters were the basis for the indie feature film F*ckload of Scotch Tape, which I highly recommend at well.
January 7, 2013
Filthy, Nasty, Disgusting....5 Stars!!!
June 30, 2018
Two good short stories, the rest were either only okay, or poor.
November 21, 2025
This was a dark and fun read, each story ties into the one before it and the one after, yet they can basically stand on their own if necessary. This is a book I could not put down.
March 9, 2013
Jedidiah Ayres’ short fiction has been appearing in crime fiction publications and anthologies for a few years now. Finally they’re collected in F*ckload of Shorts. The first two stories “Mahogany & Monogamy” and “Fuckload of Scotch Tape” feature overlapping characters and very different perspectives on the events surrounding a kidnapping. Together they combine to form a strong introduction to what Ayres does best -- grounding dark tales with humor while effectively depicting doomed characters at their most humane.
In “Hooiser Daddy” an impotent middle-aged man desperate to keep his young girlfriend goes to unimaginable lengths to get her pregnant. “The Whole Buffalo” is the confessional tale of an enterprising undertaker who hates to see all the potential of a dead body go to waste. Ayres ventures into the grotesque with these two stories, but showcases a whole range of human faults instead of just lingering over the more shocking elements.
An effortless, cinematic storyteller, Ayres’ collection takes us through a variety of time periods and gives us distinctly different voices to tell the tales. “Amateurs”, a tense, economically told western presents a Pinkerton bringing in two men, when a lynch mob looking to string up the men stops them.
What makes this an enjoyable, surprising collection is the diversity of the stories, each exhilarating to read. Two of the strongest stories in this collection have been adapted into the indy feature film F*ckload of Scotchtape.
-- originally appeared in Crimespree #50 Jan/Feb 2013
In “Hooiser Daddy” an impotent middle-aged man desperate to keep his young girlfriend goes to unimaginable lengths to get her pregnant. “The Whole Buffalo” is the confessional tale of an enterprising undertaker who hates to see all the potential of a dead body go to waste. Ayres ventures into the grotesque with these two stories, but showcases a whole range of human faults instead of just lingering over the more shocking elements.
An effortless, cinematic storyteller, Ayres’ collection takes us through a variety of time periods and gives us distinctly different voices to tell the tales. “Amateurs”, a tense, economically told western presents a Pinkerton bringing in two men, when a lynch mob looking to string up the men stops them.
What makes this an enjoyable, surprising collection is the diversity of the stories, each exhilarating to read. Two of the strongest stories in this collection have been adapted into the indy feature film F*ckload of Scotchtape.
-- originally appeared in Crimespree #50 Jan/Feb 2013
December 18, 2022
This stories of Fuckload of Shorts by Jedidiah Ayres, which includes the stories that inspired the short film Fuckload of Scotch Tape, are the best kind of short stories. Each one takes an idea that, realistically should make for a horrible, shock-driven story, and instead delivers amazing noir fiction with beautifully rendered characters. Ejaculating a dead man? Yep. Selling corpses to a dog foot plant? Yep. In the hands of a lesser writer, these ideas would amount to nothing more than throwaway snuff fiction. But in the hands of Jedidiah Ayres, these ideas are simply climaxes of and catalysts for truly compelling stories.
This video book review examines one of those scenarios in-depth: how exactly, logistically speaking, can one ejaculate a dead man? Yes, there is a whiteboard and drawings included.
March 4, 2013
I've been waiting for this collection to come out for the longest time and the wait was worth it. An amazing, mesmerizing collection of darkness and human truth. Every single story here is brilliant, but I found a special connection to "The Whole Buffalo." A movie that rests within my top ten list is the black comedy EATING RAOUL (when I teach writing at the university level, I always show it for how to create black comedy), and Ayre's short story took the premise of that movie and rode it to a new level entirely. Now, I want an entire novel centered around this character.
Buy this book!
Buy this book!
November 3, 2012
There is no misfits entertaining like Jedidiah Ayres' misfits. His stories are full of people with a tiny grasp on reality and common sense and trying to get away with it. The epic mirror stories MAHOGANY & MONOGAMY and F*CKLOAD OF SCOTCH TAPE are only a gateway into the harder stuff. HOOSIER DADDY made me drop to one knee, THE WHOLE BUFFALO and AMATEURS finished the job. Ayres succeeded where so many writers failed. In creating a seductive bleakness, fuckups people read and care about. He's one of the best writers you haven't read yet.
August 8, 2012
I've always been a huge sucker for Jed Ayres' shorts. They take you where no one else goes, and he does it with grace and style. His debut collection of shorts is no exception, with gems like F-load of Scotch Tape and The Morning After (two of my favorites) .... Intro by Scott Phillips is a must-read...... WARNING: Might be a shock to the system for Angela Lansbury fans, or maybe just what they wanted all along ... .
March 12, 2014
Wow. Exactly like the title calls it.
Really they're more like short snippets of stories of some really fucked up people. People who live in the scrapings of the bottom of life's scummiest barrels. Situations that can only be laughed at because of their absurdity.
Some were hits and some were misses but I'm definitely glad I read this. Definitely not one of those books, though, for the easily offended.
Really they're more like short snippets of stories of some really fucked up people. People who live in the scrapings of the bottom of life's scummiest barrels. Situations that can only be laughed at because of their absurdity.
Some were hits and some were misses but I'm definitely glad I read this. Definitely not one of those books, though, for the easily offended.
May 10, 2014
The opening pair of bookend stories alone merit the top rating from me. I can't say everything knocked me out quite the same way, but it's a good collection, especially if you don't mind things on the ghoulish side (like "Hoosier Daddy" and "The Whole Buffalo" -- which are also funny yet affecting). I also thought "The Adversary" was excellent, and there's an enjoyable prequel to Ayres' novel "Peckerwood" (which I loved)..
January 11, 2013
Awesome. Rad a couple do the stories in previous publications. Prefer the novel over the short story. If you like twisted and more twisted, you better pick yourself up some Ayers!
May 18, 2014
Really good collection. I think my favorites were 'Miriam' and 'The Adversary'.
June 16, 2017
With a title like this, Ayres probably figured he won't be hitting the bestseller lists. But like the Oscars and the Emmys, the people who produce those lists haven't a clue about quality. This volume is filled with mindblowing quality stories that are meant to shock you. If you are uncomfortable with hard, gritty stories from the underbelly of society, you'll have to pick up something else, The stories here are frightening and unnerving and often a story told from one point of view is then told from another point of view. It is a world of stripclubs, of money stealing thieves, of broken limbs and broken skulls. There are wet T-shirt contests and necrophilia. There are dark corners and one-night stands. There are sex-crazy women and insane guys. The action is nonstop and the stories race by on pure adrenaline.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews