This book is. totally. stupid. Not just a little stupid. Totally, thoroughly, ridiculously, stupid. Let me start by saying that I have read a fair amount of James Patterson books, both murder mysteries and just plain fiction, and have enjoyed most of them. And I have read a fair amount of Christmas fiction, both the fantasy kind (i.e. takeoffs on "A Christmas Carol," Santa-is-real stuff, etc.) and the fluffy romance kind. But I have never read a book, Christmas or otherwise, quite like this. Oh, I've read (part of) "Twilight," so I thought I knew silly and contrived dialogue. But even "Twilight" didn't come close to being this bad. At least in that book, the (non-vampire) characters are teenagers, so at least they are excused from self-absorbed, navel-gazing behavior, which is the stock-in-trade of teenagers. But the main character here, an adolescent in an adult middle-aged woman's body, a widow/mother/grandmother who is so into herself that she can't stand being called "Grandma," even though she's been one for 14 years. Remember, this book is a work of fiction, but it isn't a fantasy. No flying reindeer, no ghostly apparitions of dead friends. But the reader is expected to suspend reality and believe that 1)Gaby is soooo fascinating, amazing, etc. that all of her friends spend all of their time, free and otherwise, with her, and only her. She is "the sun around which all her friends revolve." Gag me with a spoon. 2)Gaby spends lots of time making videos of herself on DVD and sending them, via snail mail, to all of her adult children. They then immediately watch said DVD and call each other about the contents. Has this woman ever heard of YouTube? Or Facebook? Do her children really care that much about the intricacies of their mom's personal life? Seriously? 3)Gaby feeds unmentioned numbers of the "homeless" breakfast at her suburban farm EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR. This one is sooooo silly I won't comment further. 4)Gaby's friends include a female best friend who apparently has been "revolving around" Gaby's sun since the first grade and 3 single guy friends, all in their 50's, all who are gorgeous, and all who WANT TO MARRY HER. None of which has a distiguishable career (except the "adorable" rabbi) and all who spend untold amounts of time "revolving" around Gaby, helping her feed the homeless, and apparently basking in her amazing-ness. The female friend does have a husband, who is mentioned only once but whom she never sees, because she's always at Gaby's. 4)Gaby has cozy relationships with all these hunky post-50-year-olds, so much so that she is able to keep all of them, and her family, in the dark about who she has "chosen" to marry until the ACTUAL WEDDING DAY, which happens to be Christmas Day. 5)Gaby lies to her daughter, with whom she has a good relationship, about not finding a joint in her grandson's wallet, even though she does. I'm not sure why she does this, and this decision does come back to bite her, unless she's wants to be seen as the "cool Grandma" type (but DON'T CALL HER GRANDMA!!)
Gaby would win the prize, were there such a one, of MOST SELF-CENTERED MOTHER in literary history, hands down. A Christmas Day wedding? With an unknown groom? This book not only demands that the readers suspend belief but that they suspend any idea of kindness and decency in how to treat people you supposedly care about.
The ONLY reason I finished this book is because it was sooooo amazingly silly, and I needed a good laugh.