The word for today is: Disappointment.
That is what this book was for me; a major disappointment. I will attempt to explain why, but it may not come out as coherently as I hope.
For starters, nothing happens. Yes, there are events, characters do things, but nothing happens. Nothing really changes except for a few minor details, a few outlooks shift, but after being force-fed a diet of secret scandals and lies, I felt like perhaps there should have been a bit more climax. Instead the entire story just fizzled. And then stopped. It's like running away from home, that heady mix of exhilaration and anticipation, only to find yourself, 30 minutes later, a mile away from your house, bored, and ready to call it a day. So you turn around and, before you know it, you're back in your room listening to The Smashing Pumpkins and wondering what's for dinner.
What was the point?
That's how I feel about this book. It was completely pointless. There were no major revelations, just a steady stream of "Oh, well, it happened, guess there's nothing to be done for it now." The characters are shallow and unsympathetic in their lethargy, and the author just barely skimmed the top of cliched teen angst in her attempt to make an emotional connection with the reader. Graham is sad, and Ellie is sad, but there's never really anything more. There aren't any major reasons for their sadness other than the fact that neither of them seems capable of connecting with another human being on an emotional level. Ultimately, they don't even connect with each other which I believe is supposed to be the point of the story.
The side characters are ghosts, flitting in and out of the story at the author's whim, only used as a means of pushing the protagonists together or keeping them apart. Ellie's mom was disgusting, so full of selfish intent that she didn't seem to give a single, solitary shit what her daughter was thinking or feeling, yet she was presented as someone who had her daughter's best interests at heart. She kept her daughter away from her biological father, refused his repeated attempts to offer monetary support....and this is an area that really pisses me off in today's society; why is it considered "strong" and "independent" for a woman to refuse monetary support for her child? It is, to me, one of the most selfish, blatantly prideful and idiotic things any mother can do. Ellie's mom didn't refuse monetary support for Ellie's sake, we can be damn sure of that, so the fact that her actions are regarded as somehow heroic when her daughter nearly loses the opportunity of a lifetime merely because she has a shaky financial foundation...it makes me want to slap someone. Repeatedly.
When all was said and done, this book just felt like some kind of half-assed character study with very little study and flimsy characters. After slogging through 400 pages of pointless dribble, I expected to at least get some hint of HEA. But no. I'm not averse to ambiguous, uncertain endings...when they're done well and with reason. It irks me, however, when there's absolutely no reason that there shouldn't be some kind of HEA, but it never surfaces. I watch people in real life wasting enough of their lives making things more complicated than they need to be...I don't really enjoy reading about it, too. If this book had a bit more emotional depth, the attempted heavy ending could have been justified. The writing, however, just wasn't up to the task.