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Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest
Witness the epic battle of the cyclops!Visit the endangered dragon preserve! Please, no slaying.Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare!Buy some knick knacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later.On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more. If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn't kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don't catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world. Or at least a state or two.A minotaur girl, an all-American boy, a three-legged dog, and a classic car are on the road to adventure, where every exit leads to adventure. Whether they like it or not.
369 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2013
81 people are currently reading
2475 people want to read
About the author
A. Lee Martinez
31 books2,110 followersA. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner, was published. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he's in the car by himself.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 395 reviews
February 16, 2019
A. Lee Martinez is hit and miss for me; two of his books are ridiculously fun (Gil’s All Fright Diner, Emperor Mollusk), a couple absolutely aren’t, and a few are enjoyable but one-time reads. This, while decently done, I suppose, didn’t work for me. It should have, as a road trip centered around Heroic Quest, and containing Martinez’ oddball humor, but there was a strong New-Young Adult theme that just didn’t work for me.
Helen is an Enchanted American, and one of the only fully-minotaur females in decades, so she tends to stand out in a crowd. It’s the summer after high school and she’s working at a burger joint. One night her boss asks her to stay late. As she’s foiling his nefarious plans, her perfect co-worker, Troy, accidentally interrupts, and they are both forced into a quest. A government agent shows up to help them along and they head off. Meanwhile, an orc motorcycle gang (only on weekends) is tasked by their god to kill the questers. Given that their lead, Nigel, is normally an accountant, he’s fairly uncomfortable with this task.
So that’s the premise, which could have been engaging enough, but it didn’t gel as well as it could have. Questing follows the traditional oracle-obstacle format, but frankly, there’s far too much romantic angst and not enough questing. Probably, the angst isn’t particularly well done. To me, it seemed fairly single note: Helen knows she’s a minotaur, which is a freak among freaks, and Troy is perfect, so it’s not going to work. She’s very self-conscious of her shedding, strength, and increasing irritability. Troy is aware everyone thinks he’s perfect, although he’s pretty sure they don’t realize how much he works at it, and he’s insecure about Helen. I believe that’s the gist of it, which might have been mildly interesting at first, but ended up being annoying by the end. Since I’m definitely not a new/young adult reader, I can’t really comment on how it stacks up for the genre, but it definitely didn’t transcend it.
The first chapter or two were fun, particularly the Hamburger God, and I wondered if it would be a grown-up (sort of) Percy Jackson. Unfortunately, it lost velocity and I never really got sucked into the story. I finally made myself finish it, just so I could move on to other books without lingering guilt. The tone didn’t sustain ‘fun’ for me; at times it seemed kind of sad, particularly the orcs, and others it felt forced. There’s a lot of genre mash-up here as well, so perhaps the kitchen-sink approach didn’t quite work either. (spoilerish elements: Ultimately, not my thing, and I’d recommend a number of his other books before this one.
Two and a half stars, rounding down just because of the reluctance to restart reading.
Helen is an Enchanted American, and one of the only fully-minotaur females in decades, so she tends to stand out in a crowd. It’s the summer after high school and she’s working at a burger joint. One night her boss asks her to stay late. As she’s foiling his nefarious plans, her perfect co-worker, Troy, accidentally interrupts, and they are both forced into a quest. A government agent shows up to help them along and they head off. Meanwhile, an orc motorcycle gang (only on weekends) is tasked by their god to kill the questers. Given that their lead, Nigel, is normally an accountant, he’s fairly uncomfortable with this task.
So that’s the premise, which could have been engaging enough, but it didn’t gel as well as it could have. Questing follows the traditional oracle-obstacle format, but frankly, there’s far too much romantic angst and not enough questing. Probably, the angst isn’t particularly well done. To me, it seemed fairly single note: Helen knows she’s a minotaur, which is a freak among freaks, and Troy is perfect, so it’s not going to work. She’s very self-conscious of her shedding, strength, and increasing irritability. Troy is aware everyone thinks he’s perfect, although he’s pretty sure they don’t realize how much he works at it, and he’s insecure about Helen. I believe that’s the gist of it, which might have been mildly interesting at first, but ended up being annoying by the end. Since I’m definitely not a new/young adult reader, I can’t really comment on how it stacks up for the genre, but it definitely didn’t transcend it.
The first chapter or two were fun, particularly the Hamburger God, and I wondered if it would be a grown-up (sort of) Percy Jackson. Unfortunately, it lost velocity and I never really got sucked into the story. I finally made myself finish it, just so I could move on to other books without lingering guilt. The tone didn’t sustain ‘fun’ for me; at times it seemed kind of sad, particularly the orcs, and others it felt forced. There’s a lot of genre mash-up here as well, so perhaps the kitchen-sink approach didn’t quite work either. (spoilerish elements: Ultimately, not my thing, and I’d recommend a number of his other books before this one.
Two and a half stars, rounding down just because of the reluctance to restart reading.
December 13, 2018
Totally enjoyable humor, AGAIN, from A. Lee Martinez. :)
Great tongue-in-cheek premises, such as the local minotaur girl working in a BURGER JOINT getting almost sacrificed by the Hamburger God (Chernobog) by her manager, leads directly to a QUEST. :) Bring along Helen's cute co-worker Troy, get Quest licenses from the local board, tell their parents they'll be going on a roadtrip, and off we go, running. :)
Martinez always rather rocks. :) It's not always the premises that are best, but the way the author always makes characters who are so damn well-rounded. Courageous and insecure, shy and deadly. The meet-cute is so damn cute. The magical artifacts are fun.
But you know what I like best? Nigel the Accountant. He is pretty pissed at how stupid his orc ancestors are. Of course, no one asked HIM if he wanted to get caught up in his own quest to destroy these two poor kids. :)
Love it. :) :) The best part is the journey, but that ending was funny as hell. :)
Great tongue-in-cheek premises, such as the local minotaur girl working in a BURGER JOINT getting almost sacrificed by the Hamburger God (Chernobog) by her manager, leads directly to a QUEST. :) Bring along Helen's cute co-worker Troy, get Quest licenses from the local board, tell their parents they'll be going on a roadtrip, and off we go, running. :)
Martinez always rather rocks. :) It's not always the premises that are best, but the way the author always makes characters who are so damn well-rounded. Courageous and insecure, shy and deadly. The meet-cute is so damn cute. The magical artifacts are fun.
But you know what I like best? Nigel the Accountant. He is pretty pissed at how stupid his orc ancestors are. Of course, no one asked HIM if he wanted to get caught up in his own quest to destroy these two poor kids. :)
Love it. :) :) The best part is the journey, but that ending was funny as hell. :)
January 30, 2019
This was really good!!
I love those books that I pick on a whim just bc not many read them, if they are bad then it's expected and if they are good they are really good.
An Asian MC (who probably would hate that I said that bc he's annoyed that's all people take from meeting him, but I had to XD) and a girl suffering from Minotaurism (who probably would like that I said that instead of tiptoeing around it) go on a road trip/quest. I mean what else you want.
RTC.
I love those books that I pick on a whim just bc not many read them, if they are bad then it's expected and if they are good they are really good.
An Asian MC (who probably would hate that I said that bc he's annoyed that's all people take from meeting him, but I had to XD) and a girl suffering from Minotaurism (who probably would like that I said that instead of tiptoeing around it) go on a road trip/quest. I mean what else you want.
RTC.
November 2, 2013
I wish i could just sit down with A. Lee Martinez over a meal, and a road trip, and just pick his brains. Probably one of my favorite authors. Every book of his is chock full of great, zany characters, wild and bizarre situations, and just crammed with wit, charm, heroism, puns, and more.
A Locus critic wrote about one of his books, and I agree and think it pertains to all of his oeuvre : "[Divine Misfortune]reads like a mash-up of Neil Gaiman, Monty Python, and a sugar-bombed nine-year old."
Helen & Troy's... did not disappoint. She's a minotaur young lady, he's the quintessential All-American boy. They're on a quest, through no fault of their own, and they get in and out of epic (see?) trials and tribulations along the way.
Highly recommended.
A Locus critic wrote about one of his books, and I agree and think it pertains to all of his oeuvre : "[Divine Misfortune]reads like a mash-up of Neil Gaiman, Monty Python, and a sugar-bombed nine-year old."
Helen & Troy's... did not disappoint. She's a minotaur young lady, he's the quintessential All-American boy. They're on a quest, through no fault of their own, and they get in and out of epic (see?) trials and tribulations along the way.
Highly recommended.
January 27, 2018
"What the hell was that?" asked Troy.
"A god of yore." she replied. "But I think it's dead now."
Helen, one of a pseudo-race of beings known as Enchanted Americans, is eighteen years old. A good student, a Marvel Comics fangirl, a non-preachy vegetarian and high school graduate well on her way to a good college, Helen is also a Minotaur.
She'd always thought the tail was kind of cute.
Minotaurism is nothing more than a family trait to Helen, passed down by some ancient curse laid on an ancestor. Her mother has cloven hooves, her brothers fur and a tail. Helen has it worse than them, sure, what with the horns and all, but to Helen, she's just... Helen.
But this epic isn't about Helen and her horns.
"You can help me just the same. A couple of strong young mortal specimens."
The god focused his gaze on them, and they were immobilized by his supernatural power.
"You'll do."
Helen and her coworker at Magic Burger, Troy, have been inadvertently (Helen on purpose, actullay) sacrificed to the Lost God by their elf boss, Mr. Whiteleaf.
The Lost God, banished by his pantheon and worshiped possibly only by Mr. Whiteleaf, takes them on as his servants in the series of tasks that will being him back to his full power so he can take his throne back.
"Your quest is this. You must gather the relics and bring them to the place of power at the appointed time."
"What kind of relics?" asked Troy.
"I'm not sure," he replied.
"How many?" asked Helen.
"Somewhere between four and six, I think. Possibly seven. No more than eight, I feel confident in saying."
"Where is the place of power?" asked Helen.
"I don't know."
"When's the appointed time?" asked Helen.
The god rolled his eyes. "Soonish."
"That's a bit vague for a quest, isn't it?" asked Troy.
After being cursed by the Lost God, their hands enchanted to help them find these mysterious relics, Helen and Troy are given the rundown on questing by the NQB- you guessed it; the National Questing Bureau.
After being praised for their bravery in accepting the task-
"You're here because you choose to be."
He said as if it answered everything.
"Walking through that door was the first step. Every hero who has ever dreamed of glory has had to cross that threshold. Not that threshold specifically, but one like it. It's a signal to the universe, the moment when you agree to begin your journey into unknown worlds."
Helen couldn't decide if Weachter believed what he said or was pushing pseudo- intellectual nonsense. She wasn't sure she cared anymore.
they're on their way to complete the quest of the Lost God.
You know what that means...
As fun and games as this adventure sounds, (not counting the Lost God's impending violence against the tri-state area) the perfect last hurrah before their last summer as kids ends, a chance to get to know each other after so many years at the same school and even working the same job, Helen and Troy's quest isn't all enchanted roadside stores and drive-through dragon preserves.
Helen, cursed her whole life, never knew she wanted to be more... 'Normal'.
Troy, popular all-American boy with a great personality and a kind heart, never knew he didn't want to be 'normal'.
A person without flaws sometimes didn't seem like much of a person at all.
Maybe the quest will go off without a hitch. Maybe they'll kill everybody. They don't know, the Lost God does't know, the NPC-status kookie characters the meet along the way don't know, either.
But one thing is for certain. When the chips fall and the dust settles, it will. Be.
EPIC.
My only thought while reading this book (besides "My face hurts from all this smiling.") basically boiled down to
^ this horrifying thing is actually a CG animation of an emoti-moji available on DeviantArt.
Helen And Troy's Epic Road Quest is pretty much what is says on the tin. It's fun as all hell, and totally epic in parts. It has a bit of everything: urban fantasy with a humor twist, a really heartwarming story about growing up and changing as a person, reflections on stereotyping, and even social commentary that, though hypothetical and allegorical, of course, was a very smart turn on the way interracial relationships are still frowned upon, however 'politely', in Western society.
Oh. And Helen says this:
"I am what I am, and you're Wyatt Wingfoot."
I first read Martinez's first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner, at thirteen. I thought it was the funniest damn thing I'd ever read. I didn't know books could be so funny. I didn't know there was such a rich genre of humor and laughter in books. It was part of what finally got me to become the reader I am today.
Martinez is a very good example of humor with merit. He's a talent and a treasure. I recommend him highly. I am SO excited to read more of his work.
"You continue on your journey. You follow the road where it takes you. Same as any of us. And you hope that, if it's going to lead you someplace unpleasant, then it will at least be interesting unpleasantness."
"A god of yore." she replied. "But I think it's dead now."
Helen, one of a pseudo-race of beings known as Enchanted Americans, is eighteen years old. A good student, a Marvel Comics fangirl, a non-preachy vegetarian and high school graduate well on her way to a good college, Helen is also a Minotaur.
She'd always thought the tail was kind of cute.
Minotaurism is nothing more than a family trait to Helen, passed down by some ancient curse laid on an ancestor. Her mother has cloven hooves, her brothers fur and a tail. Helen has it worse than them, sure, what with the horns and all, but to Helen, she's just... Helen.
But this epic isn't about Helen and her horns.
"You can help me just the same. A couple of strong young mortal specimens."
The god focused his gaze on them, and they were immobilized by his supernatural power.
"You'll do."
Helen and her coworker at Magic Burger, Troy, have been inadvertently (Helen on purpose, actullay) sacrificed to the Lost God by their elf boss, Mr. Whiteleaf.
The Lost God, banished by his pantheon and worshiped possibly only by Mr. Whiteleaf, takes them on as his servants in the series of tasks that will being him back to his full power so he can take his throne back.
"Your quest is this. You must gather the relics and bring them to the place of power at the appointed time."
"What kind of relics?" asked Troy.
"I'm not sure," he replied.
"How many?" asked Helen.
"Somewhere between four and six, I think. Possibly seven. No more than eight, I feel confident in saying."
"Where is the place of power?" asked Helen.
"I don't know."
"When's the appointed time?" asked Helen.
The god rolled his eyes. "Soonish."
"That's a bit vague for a quest, isn't it?" asked Troy.
After being cursed by the Lost God, their hands enchanted to help them find these mysterious relics, Helen and Troy are given the rundown on questing by the NQB- you guessed it; the National Questing Bureau.
After being praised for their bravery in accepting the task-
"You're here because you choose to be."
He said as if it answered everything.
"Walking through that door was the first step. Every hero who has ever dreamed of glory has had to cross that threshold. Not that threshold specifically, but one like it. It's a signal to the universe, the moment when you agree to begin your journey into unknown worlds."
Helen couldn't decide if Weachter believed what he said or was pushing pseudo- intellectual nonsense. She wasn't sure she cared anymore.
they're on their way to complete the quest of the Lost God.
You know what that means...
As fun and games as this adventure sounds, (not counting the Lost God's impending violence against the tri-state area) the perfect last hurrah before their last summer as kids ends, a chance to get to know each other after so many years at the same school and even working the same job, Helen and Troy's quest isn't all enchanted roadside stores and drive-through dragon preserves.
Helen, cursed her whole life, never knew she wanted to be more... 'Normal'.
Troy, popular all-American boy with a great personality and a kind heart, never knew he didn't want to be 'normal'.
A person without flaws sometimes didn't seem like much of a person at all.
Maybe the quest will go off without a hitch. Maybe they'll kill everybody. They don't know, the Lost God does't know, the NPC-status kookie characters the meet along the way don't know, either.
But one thing is for certain. When the chips fall and the dust settles, it will. Be.
EPIC.
My only thought while reading this book (besides "My face hurts from all this smiling.") basically boiled down to
^ this horrifying thing is actually a CG animation of an emoti-moji available on DeviantArt.
Helen And Troy's Epic Road Quest is pretty much what is says on the tin. It's fun as all hell, and totally epic in parts. It has a bit of everything: urban fantasy with a humor twist, a really heartwarming story about growing up and changing as a person, reflections on stereotyping, and even social commentary that, though hypothetical and allegorical, of course, was a very smart turn on the way interracial relationships are still frowned upon, however 'politely', in Western society.
Oh. And Helen says this:
"I am what I am, and you're Wyatt Wingfoot."
I first read Martinez's first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner, at thirteen. I thought it was the funniest damn thing I'd ever read. I didn't know books could be so funny. I didn't know there was such a rich genre of humor and laughter in books. It was part of what finally got me to become the reader I am today.
Martinez is a very good example of humor with merit. He's a talent and a treasure. I recommend him highly. I am SO excited to read more of his work.
"You continue on your journey. You follow the road where it takes you. Same as any of us. And you hope that, if it's going to lead you someplace unpleasant, then it will at least be interesting unpleasantness."
November 15, 2014
Ten Second Synopsis:
After narrowly avoiding being sacrificed to a god in the form of a mound of minced meat, Helen and Troy are coerced into undertaking a quest for it. That's when things start to get a little weird.
I loved this book. Since I first saw it, I had it on my radar as a possible perfect match for my tastes. I had tried another of Martinez's novels though, and it didn't do much for me, so there was a bit of niggling doubt but I'm pleased to say that this one lived up exactly to my expectations, without exceeding them. That probably sounds like a bad thing, but it's not - I expected a fun, cheeky read that was a bit of a no-brainer and that's what I got and I am very grateful for it.
The plot is full of slightly predictable but nevertheless chuckle worthy takes on the whole questing genre of book/game/movie and anyone who enjoys this genre should get a kick out of this tribute. I loved the inclusion of a female character with body issues that have nothing to do with being thin, and a male character who is so perfect he finds his perfection a bit of a drag. I loved the ambivalence of the Orcs, the unhelpful helpfulness of the questing bureaucracy and the unashamed use by the Magic Burger manager of his own employees in a sacrificial ritual. Actually, those first few chapters were an absolute cracker.
I've given this one 5 stars not because it's the best, or even funniest, book ever written - but because it lived up to my expectations perfectly and that's a rare thing for me these days.
After narrowly avoiding being sacrificed to a god in the form of a mound of minced meat, Helen and Troy are coerced into undertaking a quest for it. That's when things start to get a little weird.
I loved this book. Since I first saw it, I had it on my radar as a possible perfect match for my tastes. I had tried another of Martinez's novels though, and it didn't do much for me, so there was a bit of niggling doubt but I'm pleased to say that this one lived up exactly to my expectations, without exceeding them. That probably sounds like a bad thing, but it's not - I expected a fun, cheeky read that was a bit of a no-brainer and that's what I got and I am very grateful for it.
The plot is full of slightly predictable but nevertheless chuckle worthy takes on the whole questing genre of book/game/movie and anyone who enjoys this genre should get a kick out of this tribute. I loved the inclusion of a female character with body issues that have nothing to do with being thin, and a male character who is so perfect he finds his perfection a bit of a drag. I loved the ambivalence of the Orcs, the unhelpful helpfulness of the questing bureaucracy and the unashamed use by the Magic Burger manager of his own employees in a sacrificial ritual. Actually, those first few chapters were an absolute cracker.
I've given this one 5 stars not because it's the best, or even funniest, book ever written - but because it lived up to my expectations perfectly and that's a rare thing for me these days.
November 14, 2013
Helen and Troy are just your ordinary, average young Americans who work together at minimum wage jobs in a fast food restaurant.
Well, except for the small detail that Helen is a minotaur and the two have been given an epic quest by a hamburger god. And while details of the quest aren't exactly forthcoming, the duo still sets out on a epic road trip/quest in A. Lee Martinez's comedic fantasy novel Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest.
Along the way, they'll meet a cyclops who will only do battle with people who have purchased a license (enacted to help keep his small town's struggling government afloat), visit a dragon preserve and face pursuit by a group of supernatural bikers who may or may not have our heroes best interests at heart. And that doesn't even take into account the quasi-governmental agency assigned to help our heroes.
If it all sounds a bit absurd and like something out of a Terry Pratchett novel, you're not wrong. Unlike a lot of authors who try (and fail) to channel the humor of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Martinez writes a humorous story, poking fun at the pratfalls of epic fantasy and delivering a handful of genuine laugh out loud moments along the way. (This is not a book to be read in company that will look at you oddly if you chuckle, snort or laugh out loud at a certain line, image or clever turn of phrase. Consider yourself warned).
And while Martinez gets fairly close to what Adams and Prachett do (and they make it look easy), he doesn't quite enter the same stratosphere as those two giants. But he comes a lot closer than many other authors I've seen try and spectacularly fail in the attempt.
That's not to say Helen and Troy isn't a fun, entertaining read. It's a mostly hit or miss comic fantasy that, for me, hit more than it missed. Certain threads started to weigh thin over the course of the story, but overall this is an epic road quest worth taking. This mis-matched duo of a minotaur and the popular cute guy delivers some solid laughs and witty observations over the course of the story. And Martinez wisely doesn't dwell long on each of the epic fantasy stops along the way. He allows the jokes to have their moment and not wear thin (in most cases).
In the interest of full discretion, I received a digital ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Well, except for the small detail that Helen is a minotaur and the two have been given an epic quest by a hamburger god. And while details of the quest aren't exactly forthcoming, the duo still sets out on a epic road trip/quest in A. Lee Martinez's comedic fantasy novel Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest.
Along the way, they'll meet a cyclops who will only do battle with people who have purchased a license (enacted to help keep his small town's struggling government afloat), visit a dragon preserve and face pursuit by a group of supernatural bikers who may or may not have our heroes best interests at heart. And that doesn't even take into account the quasi-governmental agency assigned to help our heroes.
If it all sounds a bit absurd and like something out of a Terry Pratchett novel, you're not wrong. Unlike a lot of authors who try (and fail) to channel the humor of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Martinez writes a humorous story, poking fun at the pratfalls of epic fantasy and delivering a handful of genuine laugh out loud moments along the way. (This is not a book to be read in company that will look at you oddly if you chuckle, snort or laugh out loud at a certain line, image or clever turn of phrase. Consider yourself warned).
And while Martinez gets fairly close to what Adams and Prachett do (and they make it look easy), he doesn't quite enter the same stratosphere as those two giants. But he comes a lot closer than many other authors I've seen try and spectacularly fail in the attempt.
That's not to say Helen and Troy isn't a fun, entertaining read. It's a mostly hit or miss comic fantasy that, for me, hit more than it missed. Certain threads started to weigh thin over the course of the story, but overall this is an epic road quest worth taking. This mis-matched duo of a minotaur and the popular cute guy delivers some solid laughs and witty observations over the course of the story. And Martinez wisely doesn't dwell long on each of the epic fantasy stops along the way. He allows the jokes to have their moment and not wear thin (in most cases).
In the interest of full discretion, I received a digital ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.
July 21, 2013
Helen is a normal teenage girl. She’s smart. She’s funny. She’s got some mild body image issues. And she’s a Minotaur (or Enchanted American, in the parlance of their times). Troy’s your average overachieving, handsome, athletic, likeable Asian American guy.
When their boss at their after school job tries to sacrifice Helen, Helen & Troy are thrust together on a quest by the Lost God. They are aided by the shadowy agents of the Questing Bureau, as well as an assortment of oddball characters they meet along the way.
The plot thickens when the Wild Hunt motorcycle gang is compelled to stop them. Don’t hold the fact that they are Orcs against them. Most of the bikers are office workers during the week, and only get out riding on the weekends. Nevertheless, they have their heritage to live up to, and will stop at almost nothing to stop Helen & Troy’s success.
Helen & Troy’s Epic Road Quest is an absolute joy. Martinez manages to balance character and plot exceedingly well, while keeping his tongue firmly planted in cheek. You want action and adventure? You’ve got it! You want emotional growth or a will they or won’t they romance? You’ve got it! You want laughs and winking references to a myriad of genre & related items? Well they’re thrown in as well!
When their boss at their after school job tries to sacrifice Helen, Helen & Troy are thrust together on a quest by the Lost God. They are aided by the shadowy agents of the Questing Bureau, as well as an assortment of oddball characters they meet along the way.
The plot thickens when the Wild Hunt motorcycle gang is compelled to stop them. Don’t hold the fact that they are Orcs against them. Most of the bikers are office workers during the week, and only get out riding on the weekends. Nevertheless, they have their heritage to live up to, and will stop at almost nothing to stop Helen & Troy’s success.
Helen & Troy’s Epic Road Quest is an absolute joy. Martinez manages to balance character and plot exceedingly well, while keeping his tongue firmly planted in cheek. You want action and adventure? You’ve got it! You want emotional growth or a will they or won’t they romance? You’ve got it! You want laughs and winking references to a myriad of genre & related items? Well they’re thrown in as well!
April 17, 2018
A fun light-hearted book, a palate cleanser after the tragic Anna Karenina. Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest is a tongue-in-cheek adventure story, set on an alternate Earth where mythology is real and magic and magical creatures are commonplace. The story follows high school students on a quest that was cursed upon them by a god who embodied himself in a ton of raw beef at a fast food burger joint. They reluctantly head off to recover various magic relics that may or may not bring about the end of the world. But they'll die if they don't. Oh, and one of the high school kids happens to be a Minotaur. To be honest, I was never clear whether she had a full-on bullhead or a human face. I felt the author kind of side-stepped that issue when he set up the romance between the main characters. Call it family-friendly bestiality.
The humor reminded me of Christopher Moore—not as campy but finding humor in the clash between the mystical and the mundane. The second half of the book doesn't live up to the gleeful absurdity of the first half, but it's a quick read so not much of a letdown.
The humor reminded me of Christopher Moore—not as campy but finding humor in the clash between the mystical and the mundane. The second half of the book doesn't live up to the gleeful absurdity of the first half, but it's a quick read so not much of a letdown.
September 12, 2013
I received this book through the publisher (Orbit) via NetGalley.
I thought the premise of this looked rather fun, but I really had no idea what to expect. I've done my share of road trips and I like road trip stories, and something about a minotaur girl as a lead character really appealed to me.
The verdict? I adored this book. I've been under a lot of stress this week, and Helen and Troy was perfect--light, fluffy, and carefree with its humor. It made me laugh out loud more than once, and made me smile constantly. I can't say that about many books. Oh, and the humor is perfectly clean, too.
Helen is a teenage girl. She's also a minotaur. It's a hereditary thing and it's rather awkward at times. She works at a burger joint. One of her co-workers is Troy, a guy whose major character traits are the fact that he's Asian and that he's perfect in just about every way. It seems like another day for them at work until their boss tries to sacrifice Helen to a long-gone god, who then is mildly resurrected in a pile of hamburger. Helen survives, but she and Troy end up branded and forced to take on the Lost God's quest across a western United States that features kitschy tourist traps that might actually be death traps.
It's just plain fun. At one point they meet the fates (note the lowercase) in a run-down store in the middle of nowhere. "[The fates] are a franchise thing... Like Stuckey's, but with more prognostication." There's also a fabulous plot line involving orc motorcycle gang.
I loved how Martinez explored the idea of stereotypes through Helen and Troy. People have expectations of a minotaur, and they expect different things from a male or female. Troy also is pigeon-holed as "good-looking Asian guy." They both fight against their assigned roles in society, and they grow a lot in the process. It brings a deep philosophical angle to the story, though it never loses its lightness. I read a number of urban fantasy series that feature some humor (like Kevin Hearne's Iron Druid books), but the humor there is used to lighten some otherwise dark, gritty stuff. It was a joy to read pure humor for a change, and I discovered a new author to look for, too.
I thought the premise of this looked rather fun, but I really had no idea what to expect. I've done my share of road trips and I like road trip stories, and something about a minotaur girl as a lead character really appealed to me.
The verdict? I adored this book. I've been under a lot of stress this week, and Helen and Troy was perfect--light, fluffy, and carefree with its humor. It made me laugh out loud more than once, and made me smile constantly. I can't say that about many books. Oh, and the humor is perfectly clean, too.
Helen is a teenage girl. She's also a minotaur. It's a hereditary thing and it's rather awkward at times. She works at a burger joint. One of her co-workers is Troy, a guy whose major character traits are the fact that he's Asian and that he's perfect in just about every way. It seems like another day for them at work until their boss tries to sacrifice Helen to a long-gone god, who then is mildly resurrected in a pile of hamburger. Helen survives, but she and Troy end up branded and forced to take on the Lost God's quest across a western United States that features kitschy tourist traps that might actually be death traps.
It's just plain fun. At one point they meet the fates (note the lowercase) in a run-down store in the middle of nowhere. "[The fates] are a franchise thing... Like Stuckey's, but with more prognostication." There's also a fabulous plot line involving orc motorcycle gang.
I loved how Martinez explored the idea of stereotypes through Helen and Troy. People have expectations of a minotaur, and they expect different things from a male or female. Troy also is pigeon-holed as "good-looking Asian guy." They both fight against their assigned roles in society, and they grow a lot in the process. It brings a deep philosophical angle to the story, though it never loses its lightness. I read a number of urban fantasy series that feature some humor (like Kevin Hearne's Iron Druid books), but the humor there is used to lighten some otherwise dark, gritty stuff. It was a joy to read pure humor for a change, and I discovered a new author to look for, too.
July 6, 2018
Helen is just your average minotaur teenager, working at a fast food joint for money, crushing on boys, making sure that her horns don't get in the way of the other people around her. When an after-shift sacrifice to an ancient elven god curses Helen and her work friend Troy, they must go on an across-state adventure to please the gods.
This is a Funny, lovable book with amazing characters, action that blows your socks off, and humor, loads of humor. I would recommend this book to someone looking for a funny book. 4/5 stars - Leo M
This is a Funny, lovable book with amazing characters, action that blows your socks off, and humor, loads of humor. I would recommend this book to someone looking for a funny book. 4/5 stars - Leo M
September 11, 2022
4 WORTHY-QUESTER STARS!!!!
How do I begin to describe this book??? This is a one-stop service. An all action-packed story with witty lines worth chuckling and pondering over throughout the course of (200-ish) pages. A Terry Pratchett-esque absurdity. This is one of those books that doesn’t sound that promising but turned out to be one of the best read ever. Imagine Eleanor & Park but Percy Jackson and if Eleanor was in fact a 7-feet-tall Minotaur and Park was an overachiever, divinely charming Japanese-American boy. Throwing in an Amy & Roger’s Epic Detour roadtrip vibes and an impossible quest to spice things up and voila! You got Mr. Martinez's best book yet. It’s cute, it’s lighthearted and it’s sure as hell hilarious. It’s, you know, everything you could have asked for from a book, really.
Helen’s a Minotaur. Like a real badass chick with hooves and horns and stuff. She might seem cool on the outside, but like every teenage girl on the planet, Minotaur or not, she had her insecurities and doubts. She’s smart and strong and independent. And it’s so heartbreaking because it’s so true and real like she spoke for all of us girls in this world. You would be surprise how relatable she was. Like you couldn’t help bit really like her and hope for the best.
Troy was a classic overachiever; a natural-born prom king, super smart, good at basically everything, and divinely handsome like perfect hair and spotless skin and stuff. When the Hamburger God appeared recruiting mortal questers, Troy was caught off guard and sucked into a whirlwind of unpredictable events (e.g. dueling a cyclops, fighting a band of motorcycle orcs club) that might cause the end of the world. Little by little, we’d get the privilege to know the real Troy underneath the perfect hair and cocky smile. You’d be surprise how hard one could fall for this guy.
Two teenagers all by themselves on the road, of course it’s a perfect recipe for a romantic scheme. And these two guys? yeah like you’ll totally ship them. But that’s not the only thing this book could offer because, brace yourself, A FRIENDSHIP GAME IS STRONG IN THIS ONE. Throughout the story we’ll witness a series of heartfelt bromance moments (within the aforementioned motorcycle club) all the way to an unrequited feeling and slow-burned romance between two friends. Helen and Troy’s relationship was incredible, and although in the end it’s developed into a predictable direction it still left you squealed a fangirling squeals no matter what.
The writing was perfect, though it was a bit confusing since the narration was fast-paced but you’d find it a bit dragging at times. It was hilarious and witty, like give-your-brain-something-to-chew-on kind of witty. I like Martinez’s sarcasm on “the way of the world”, like he put an effort to make fun of social rules and expectations. He also reflected a great deal of stereotype issues through the eyes of his characters. And nothing could do the job more sufficient than an insecure beast, an overachieved Asian, an orc with a full time job in accountant, and an unreasonable deities. And those were just an examples.
Just read the book, really. It’s totally worth it.
How do I begin to describe this book??? This is a one-stop service. An all action-packed story with witty lines worth chuckling and pondering over throughout the course of (200-ish) pages. A Terry Pratchett-esque absurdity. This is one of those books that doesn’t sound that promising but turned out to be one of the best read ever. Imagine Eleanor & Park but Percy Jackson and if Eleanor was in fact a 7-feet-tall Minotaur and Park was an overachiever, divinely charming Japanese-American boy. Throwing in an Amy & Roger’s Epic Detour roadtrip vibes and an impossible quest to spice things up and voila! You got Mr. Martinez's best book yet. It’s cute, it’s lighthearted and it’s sure as hell hilarious. It’s, you know, everything you could have asked for from a book, really.
“Excuse me if I have body issues.” The rain soaked her, and she could smell her musky moist scent, somewhere between an odor and a stench but certainly not anywhere good within that range. “I was born with a tail.”
Helen’s a Minotaur. Like a real badass chick with hooves and horns and stuff. She might seem cool on the outside, but like every teenage girl on the planet, Minotaur or not, she had her insecurities and doubts. She’s smart and strong and independent. And it’s so heartbreaking because it’s so true and real like she spoke for all of us girls in this world. You would be surprise how relatable she was. Like you couldn’t help bit really like her and hope for the best.
He bounded from the room like Adonis in jeans. She was glad she hadn’t been born five thousand years before, when, instead of being friends, they would’ve probably had to fight to the death in an arena.
Troy was a classic overachiever; a natural-born prom king, super smart, good at basically everything, and divinely handsome like perfect hair and spotless skin and stuff. When the Hamburger God appeared recruiting mortal questers, Troy was caught off guard and sucked into a whirlwind of unpredictable events (e.g. dueling a cyclops, fighting a band of motorcycle orcs club) that might cause the end of the world. Little by little, we’d get the privilege to know the real Troy underneath the perfect hair and cocky smile. You’d be surprise how hard one could fall for this guy.
Two teenagers all by themselves on the road, of course it’s a perfect recipe for a romantic scheme. And these two guys? yeah like you’ll totally ship them. But that’s not the only thing this book could offer because, brace yourself, A FRIENDSHIP GAME IS STRONG IN THIS ONE. Throughout the story we’ll witness a series of heartfelt bromance moments (within the aforementioned motorcycle club) all the way to an unrequited feeling and slow-burned romance between two friends. Helen and Troy’s relationship was incredible, and although in the end it’s developed into a predictable direction it still left you squealed a fangirling squeals no matter what.
“I wish I could tell you the right thing to say and the right way to say it. If I could slip you a love potion, I would. The only thing you can do is give her the time to figure it out on her own and be there when she’s ready. And if she’s never ready, be ready to move on. Unrequited love is bullshit. And it always ends up hurting everyone involved.”
The writing was perfect, though it was a bit confusing since the narration was fast-paced but you’d find it a bit dragging at times. It was hilarious and witty, like give-your-brain-something-to-chew-on kind of witty. I like Martinez’s sarcasm on “the way of the world”, like he put an effort to make fun of social rules and expectations. He also reflected a great deal of stereotype issues through the eyes of his characters. And nothing could do the job more sufficient than an insecure beast, an overachieved Asian, an orc with a full time job in accountant, and an unreasonable deities. And those were just an examples.
Just read the book, really. It’s totally worth it.
August 23, 2016
This was great in places. Hm. How to describe it? Oh! You know that part in Neil Gaiman's American Gods, when Shadow is led through the woods by a raven, ostensibly one of the famous two ravens from Norse mythology and after some time Shadow says: "Hey, Hugin or whatevery you're called!" And the raven goes: "Yeah?" And Shadow: "Say 'nevermore'." And the raven croaks: "fuck you." Remember that? I suppose if you didn't before, I basically just told you the whole thing now anyway, so either way...
Now, I really probably shouldn't have brought up American Gods here in the first place, because comparing Martinez's book to Gaiman's is kind of like facing off that funny little lizard-type dragon from Disney's Mulan against an actual earth-shaking, sky-spanning, fire-breathing dragon, each scale of which glittering with legend, and an original backstory and compelling character flaws on top of that. The reason I did bring it up though is that that little exchange was one of my favourite moments in American Gods; I think it was one of the first moments in the book when I actually got hooked not by its plot but by its style. There's just something about that kind of clever irreverence, that twisting around familiar tropes, that works. And to some degree, in a diluted form, with lower stakes and less eerie artistry, this is what's going on in Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest.
There's the same taking from fantasy and putting it in the context of modern American life, the adventure of the road, the roadside attractions, the gods, etc. Only where there is complexity and epic build-ups and dark corners in American Gods, this is basically just a bit of irreverant goofing off, a bit of harmless fun, just one ongoing say-nevermore-fuck-you exchange. And it works quite well too. I mean, this is not a deep book, nor a complex one. It is a road movie, a questing satire, a teenage roadtrip adventure. But despite all that light, flippant having fun with familiar tropes here and breaking them there and just sort of pattering on in a mildly sataristic, low-energy sort of way, it veers off in some interesting places between the here and the there and the low-energy pattering.
The fighting towards the end was a bit too gory for my taste and just honestly: you CANNOT end a novel with a coy joke! Seriously. Don't. That barely worked for 90s family sitcoms. Cut that shit out. But apart from that, it was quite an enjoyable ride.
Now, I really probably shouldn't have brought up American Gods here in the first place, because comparing Martinez's book to Gaiman's is kind of like facing off that funny little lizard-type dragon from Disney's Mulan against an actual earth-shaking, sky-spanning, fire-breathing dragon, each scale of which glittering with legend, and an original backstory and compelling character flaws on top of that. The reason I did bring it up though is that that little exchange was one of my favourite moments in American Gods; I think it was one of the first moments in the book when I actually got hooked not by its plot but by its style. There's just something about that kind of clever irreverence, that twisting around familiar tropes, that works. And to some degree, in a diluted form, with lower stakes and less eerie artistry, this is what's going on in Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest.
There's the same taking from fantasy and putting it in the context of modern American life, the adventure of the road, the roadside attractions, the gods, etc. Only where there is complexity and epic build-ups and dark corners in American Gods, this is basically just a bit of irreverant goofing off, a bit of harmless fun, just one ongoing say-nevermore-fuck-you exchange. And it works quite well too. I mean, this is not a deep book, nor a complex one. It is a road movie, a questing satire, a teenage roadtrip adventure. But despite all that light, flippant having fun with familiar tropes here and breaking them there and just sort of pattering on in a mildly sataristic, low-energy sort of way, it veers off in some interesting places between the here and the there and the low-energy pattering.
The fighting towards the end was a bit too gory for my taste and just honestly: you CANNOT end a novel with a coy joke! Seriously. Don't. That barely worked for 90s family sitcoms. Cut that shit out. But apart from that, it was quite an enjoyable ride.
March 27, 2014
After reading two of his books now, A. Lee Martinez has become one of my favorite authors. He doesn't offer anything deep, or terribly original, but rather pure unadulterated, clever entertainment. Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest is no exception. The world of Greek gods,heroes, and quests is transferred into a weird, and always amusing road trip across America. There are ogres, three-legged dogs, witches, orcs, old gods, secret agents, and, of course, our titular heroes: Helen the cursed minotaur and Troy the…almost impossibly perfect human.
This novel follows what appears to be his sucessful formula of jumping from one genre and mileu to the next, populating each with a cast of well-drawn, slightly off-beat characters, throwing in a escalating series of wacky set-pieces, and then just having fun. Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest exists in its own complete universe with its own rules and narrative logic. As the title suggests, it is the story of a quest, and as always, Martinez has done his homework. The genre conventions are all present with a twist. The action moves along with a great sense of pace and infectious excitement. It is a quick and easy read, which is its great joy. There is the sense of the reader and the author both just loving the ride and the thrill of well-told amusement. This does, however, make at least the two books I've read, difficult to really talk about. Martinez updates and twists conventions and creates delightful juxtapositions for comic effect, but this isn't a satire. I don't get the sense that he's truly commenting on the ideas or the genres. He's just moving from sandbox to sandbox having fun, and while some readers might want a little more depth, I'm more than willing to follow him and give in to the ride. Sometimes all you need is the pure joy of storytelling.
This review and others can be found on my blog.
This novel follows what appears to be his sucessful formula of jumping from one genre and mileu to the next, populating each with a cast of well-drawn, slightly off-beat characters, throwing in a escalating series of wacky set-pieces, and then just having fun. Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest exists in its own complete universe with its own rules and narrative logic. As the title suggests, it is the story of a quest, and as always, Martinez has done his homework. The genre conventions are all present with a twist. The action moves along with a great sense of pace and infectious excitement. It is a quick and easy read, which is its great joy. There is the sense of the reader and the author both just loving the ride and the thrill of well-told amusement. This does, however, make at least the two books I've read, difficult to really talk about. Martinez updates and twists conventions and creates delightful juxtapositions for comic effect, but this isn't a satire. I don't get the sense that he's truly commenting on the ideas or the genres. He's just moving from sandbox to sandbox having fun, and while some readers might want a little more depth, I'm more than willing to follow him and give in to the ride. Sometimes all you need is the pure joy of storytelling.
This review and others can be found on my blog.
September 10, 2014
This book was exactly what I wanted it to be: good, lighthearted, casual fun. It's a road trip story and a mythological quest! Those are both fun things to read, and apparently when you combine them the fun does not cancel out. The plot is fairly predictable, which if you don't like, I can see where this book would turn you off. The characters are likeable enough, though, and I'm not sure I'll ever get sick of modern interpretations of classic mythology. It was nice to find more than just Greek references here too, we also get Baba Yaga from Russian legends, dragons from more northern European influences, orcs that are basically straight out of Tolkien (although in an interesting twist, we actually get their perspective for a few chapters and they might even be the good guys), etc. I spent most of the book torn between "wow I really want Helen and Troy to just be friends and subvert the expected romance plot" and "oh my god I ship it", so I guess no matter which way that went I would have been satisfied; I won't spoil that for you. At any rate, I'd definitely recommend this for fans of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians books that feel like they've maybe outgrown that series a little bit. Where those books are aimed at early- to mid-teens, I think this and probably the author's other works will find more fans in the late-teens and early-20s (and no, I am by no means hating on YA lit, and I continue to recommend a lot of it even for older readers, but sometimes you want something that isn't that). This is the first book I've read by this author, so I'm definitely looking forward to reading more.
September 20, 2013
This review copy was kindly donated by Orbit Books.
Helen and Troy are just two regular teenagers. Okay, well Helen is a Minotaur and Troy is as close to a hero as you can get (he doesn't like dogs). Anyway, Helen and Troy are just two regular teenagers who almost get eaten by a god and then are forced to go on an epic road quest to get an unknown number of unknown relics in an unknown period of time. As you can imagine, Helen and Troy aren't so excited about this quest. Luckily, the National Questing Bureau and Achilles, Helen and Troy's trusty sidekick dog, help them along the way. Because the other gods are not sure that the questing adventures aren't going to kill Helen and Troy, they also send a band of orcs after them. Helen and Troy probably wish that they called in sick to work right now and never started on this merry adventure.
This book is so much fun. Once I started reading it, I could not stop. Helen and Troy are quirky but fairly calm about this whole situation. I guess when Minotaurs, orcs, and gods are real, you just have to go with the flow. The writing is fantastic, the characters are charming, and the plot is entertaining. This book is the perfect way to spend an afternoon.
The book lost one star, because I feel like the book was a bit tidy with the climax at the end; however, I am willing to look past the ending, because the rest of the book was just a rollicking good time.
Helen and Troy are just two regular teenagers. Okay, well Helen is a Minotaur and Troy is as close to a hero as you can get (he doesn't like dogs). Anyway, Helen and Troy are just two regular teenagers who almost get eaten by a god and then are forced to go on an epic road quest to get an unknown number of unknown relics in an unknown period of time. As you can imagine, Helen and Troy aren't so excited about this quest. Luckily, the National Questing Bureau and Achilles, Helen and Troy's trusty sidekick dog, help them along the way. Because the other gods are not sure that the questing adventures aren't going to kill Helen and Troy, they also send a band of orcs after them. Helen and Troy probably wish that they called in sick to work right now and never started on this merry adventure.
This book is so much fun. Once I started reading it, I could not stop. Helen and Troy are quirky but fairly calm about this whole situation. I guess when Minotaurs, orcs, and gods are real, you just have to go with the flow. The writing is fantastic, the characters are charming, and the plot is entertaining. This book is the perfect way to spend an afternoon.
The book lost one star, because I feel like the book was a bit tidy with the climax at the end; however, I am willing to look past the ending, because the rest of the book was just a rollicking good time.
December 29, 2013
I was pleasantly surprised by this book. The characters are teenagers, but I am not sure if I would characterize it as a YA book. It is more of a fantasy book with many humorous aspects.
Helen and Troy both work at the same burger place. Helen is a minotaur and lacks full confidence in her ability to be appealing to others. Troy seems to be an All-American boy with a heart of gold. Their boss? Well, he decides to cause a god to rise by sacrificing the two teens. After the boss receives his just desserts, the quest of the book is set into action.
There is a dragon, a Cyclops, seemingly impossible challenges, foes in the form of bikers... as well as plenty of laughs and an interesting twist on the standard road trip or heroic quest.
I will seek out more of Martinez's books in the future.
I received the book as an ARC from NetGalley.
Helen and Troy both work at the same burger place. Helen is a minotaur and lacks full confidence in her ability to be appealing to others. Troy seems to be an All-American boy with a heart of gold. Their boss? Well, he decides to cause a god to rise by sacrificing the two teens. After the boss receives his just desserts, the quest of the book is set into action.
There is a dragon, a Cyclops, seemingly impossible challenges, foes in the form of bikers... as well as plenty of laughs and an interesting twist on the standard road trip or heroic quest.
I will seek out more of Martinez's books in the future.
I received the book as an ARC from NetGalley.
August 28, 2016
Very enjoyable! There are the tropes but also the moments that attempt to twist the genres usual plot contrivances and who can really fault a story with a lady Minotaur as the lead? If you enjoyed Jim Hines' series with Jinx the Goblin you'll enjoy this one with it's "race to collect the magical macguffins to save the world" and the non-traditional "heroes". Some quick and nice moments of diversity as well with a gay orc and the secondary main character as a Japanese American boy. A fun romp!
November 2, 2015
Pretty much what I expect from a Martinez book, a fun relatively-effort-free romp pairing a couple (or sometimes a group) of mismatched characters who are easy to root for, that mixes humor and fantasy, ala Christopher Moore, but maybe not quite as well. Still pretty entertaining nonetheless. A female Minotaur and a handsome perfect hero. Many references to the Odyssey and fables. Young adult readers will identify with the romantic elements.
May 19, 2017
3 1/2 stars.
This book was just so fun! Epic magic quest with all of the most lovable characters you could ask for. Even the bad guys! I thought it ran a little long, but then again that's my complaint about most books.
This book was just so fun! Epic magic quest with all of the most lovable characters you could ask for. Even the bad guys! I thought it ran a little long, but then again that's my complaint about most books.
April 11, 2017
As far as audiobooks go, this was fairly strong. In fact, I think I definitely got more of a sense of the characters and their idiosyncrasies from listening to it vs. reading it.
But seriously, I love this book so much, for so many reasons. Mainly, it's a prime example of books that are alternate reality but are real as F*ck. Helen could be pigeonholed as a stereotypical super-insecure analog for teenage girldom--the hackneyed "I'm so insecure" sort of fantasy character that has a dark secret. But she's not. She's incredibly smart, and as A. Lee Martinez has pointed out, it's never explicitly stated that she's inexperienced/a virgin. In fact, I think it's implied exactly the opposite--she's got a much more real approach to dating than Troy does. And she definitely has more experience with humanity (judging by her empathy and reactions) than he does as well.
Troy gets really grating in the middle of the book, but like most of the characters, he's saved by being incredibly self-aware. He's aware of his privilege and yet he's also aware of microaggressions and intersectionality. Also duhhhh I love the fact that he's Asian and portrayed as basically the hunk to end all hunks--but NOT in a fetishistic way! It's more like he's just so undeniably beautiful that everybody falls in love with him, and him being Asian is incidental (but not in a way that could ever be white-washed--his empathy for Helen and his inexperience with serious dating is definitely colored by his racial identity, which YES THANK YOU IF THIS EVER GETS MADE INTO A MOVIE THAT WILL PREVENT THE WHITE WASHING).
And the final standout character, Franklin, the wannabe Orc, is such a complex mess of identity politics, done in a self-aware way. Franklin's that white kid that gets brought home to dinner, the one that all the aunties adopt because dang-it, why can't all kids want to be this good? He's so desperate to be part of a culture that's not used to being coveted, and his heart is so golden. I also have a sneaking suspicion he's the author's self-insertion...if only because he makes the most "well that was dumb but I can see myself doing exactly that" types of decisions.
Kudos and mad props for having the best gay-orc-coming-out scene this side of fanfiction, and YES HALLELUJAH for having a realistic teenage fantasy romance. Because of course two hetero teens on a really long, isolating, life-threatening quest would end up wanting to hook up, and possibly fall in love. But thank goodness Troy doesn't want to "save" Helen, or "fix" her, or even see himself as "not one of THOSE normal people" and admits that he could possibly find her Minotaurism problematic. Like I said, it's real as f*ck.
In the end, I think my TL;DR is this: I wish I had this book as a roadmap though high school. Minotaurs can be sexy without being fetishized. And even Prince's need rescuing AND THAT's OK AND VERy BADASS.
But seriously, I love this book so much, for so many reasons. Mainly, it's a prime example of books that are alternate reality but are real as F*ck. Helen could be pigeonholed as a stereotypical super-insecure analog for teenage girldom--the hackneyed "I'm so insecure" sort of fantasy character that has a dark secret. But she's not. She's incredibly smart, and as A. Lee Martinez has pointed out, it's never explicitly stated that she's inexperienced/a virgin. In fact, I think it's implied exactly the opposite--she's got a much more real approach to dating than Troy does. And she definitely has more experience with humanity (judging by her empathy and reactions) than he does as well.
Troy gets really grating in the middle of the book, but like most of the characters, he's saved by being incredibly self-aware. He's aware of his privilege and yet he's also aware of microaggressions and intersectionality. Also duhhhh I love the fact that he's Asian and portrayed as basically the hunk to end all hunks--but NOT in a fetishistic way! It's more like he's just so undeniably beautiful that everybody falls in love with him, and him being Asian is incidental (but not in a way that could ever be white-washed--his empathy for Helen and his inexperience with serious dating is definitely colored by his racial identity, which YES THANK YOU IF THIS EVER GETS MADE INTO A MOVIE THAT WILL PREVENT THE WHITE WASHING).
And the final standout character, Franklin, the wannabe Orc, is such a complex mess of identity politics, done in a self-aware way. Franklin's that white kid that gets brought home to dinner, the one that all the aunties adopt because dang-it, why can't all kids want to be this good? He's so desperate to be part of a culture that's not used to being coveted, and his heart is so golden. I also have a sneaking suspicion he's the author's self-insertion...if only because he makes the most "well that was dumb but I can see myself doing exactly that" types of decisions.
Kudos and mad props for having the best gay-orc-coming-out scene this side of fanfiction, and YES HALLELUJAH for having a realistic teenage fantasy romance. Because of course two hetero teens on a really long, isolating, life-threatening quest would end up wanting to hook up, and possibly fall in love. But thank goodness Troy doesn't want to "save" Helen, or "fix" her, or even see himself as "not one of THOSE normal people" and admits that he could possibly find her Minotaurism problematic. Like I said, it's real as f*ck.
In the end, I think my TL;DR is this: I wish I had this book as a roadmap though high school. Minotaurs can be sexy without being fetishized. And even Prince's need rescuing AND THAT's OK AND VERy BADASS.
December 23, 2015
I loved this. Absolutely loved it. There are a few reasons why, some relating to me on a personal level and the rest due to the quality of the writing itself.
I'll start with the novel itself - first and foremost, this novel does not try to be more than it is. It's a zany adventure with mythological creatures. It's not an story that will pervade until the end of time, it's not going to win a Pulitzer and it doesn't aspire to some higher meaning. But this is what's so great about it. Its raison d'être is to be a good time, and it has fulfilled its purpose ten-fold.
It's also freakin' hilarious. I laughed aloud quite a few times during the story and was smiling pretty much the entire time. It's a particular kind of comedy but it's definitely my kind. There was also romance. It wasn't the forefront of the story but it pervaded nicely, as it should - I also thought the timeline was realistic (sometimes novels drag on an unspoken romance for too long and sometimes they rush into it. This one had the perfect amount of tension and resolution). It was definitely a feed-good novel in that regard, and I definitely like when my romance is paired with punching dragons in the face. Twice.
The characters themselves were wonderful. They were memorable, and not just because one was a minotaur. They had personality, they struggled with conflict, and they had some personal revelations. Nothing major, but, as I said before, this novel isn't about that. Too much focus on their internal problems would have dampened the mood. I also loved the midlife crisis orcs and their gang; they were an absolute riot. To be honest, I loved every aspect of this novel. There was nothing I didn't like and neither was any of it belaboured or rushed. It felt like every creature they came up against had the appropriate amount of time allotted to them.
The ending was great. The last two novels of Martinez's that I read had rather anti-climactic endings, but this one was wonderful in that it had a good amount of action and suspense. Two nice little epilogues too.
I am a very time-conscious person. Generally I read novels after I'm done work and between when my husband gets home, on the weekends in the morning while having coffee, and sometimes before I go to bed (usually that time is reserved for writing terrible fan-fiction). I sat down yesterday around 5:30, expecting to have maybe 45 minutes until the hubs returned. Usually, if he were delayed, I would feel that too much time had passed and throw him a text (mainly saying "ETA? I'm hungry"). But, with this novel, I didn't even notice. I finished the book and realized hubbo was almost an hour later than expected. So, in terms of "hooked", this novel had me fully anchored. And that's saying something.
Overall, this novel is just excellent. I highly recommend it. Yet, for me, this novel is pushing it's way towards the honor of being my favorite I read this year. Why? Well, it contained five (!) of my favorite concepts/tropes. And, because I'm on holiday and I'm a little bored today, I'm going to go through them.
1. Minotaurs. They fascinate me. It's possible this stemmed from my love of The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break, but I'm pretty sure that book simply fueled my interest in the creature. I guess because they are such an entirely tragic and misunderstood character in Greek mythology.
2. Unconventional romance. I've always loved when people of different species/cultures/castes get romantically involved. Not sure why. But when it comes to people falling in love, I'm as open-minded and encouraging of it as they come.
3. Quests. This is probably my favorite plot trope, and particularly when it's a couple characters traveling from point A to B with numerous misadventures in between. I prefer my fiction to either a) keep me in one small place or b) take me all over the place. Hmm, maybe that's why I don't really read novels set in cities. Cities are just too self-contained, too rigid, and too busy for the kind of introspection a dull place provides.
3.1. Road Trips. I guess this is kind of a sub-section of quests. And I love them for the same reasons as above.
4. When mythological creatures exist in a modern setting (but not magical realism). I don't like magical realism generally, but I absolutely freakin' love when mythological creatures (especially from Greek mythology) exist in the real world in a modern setting (and when said creatures are an accepted part of society). I find it interesting from a cultural point of view as well as a logistical one.
5. Nevada. I love the South Western United States. I recently visited Vegas and my favorite part of the trip was when we left the city to go on a mini road-trip in Arizona. The houses, the dry heat, the vegetation, the animals, the openness, the canyons and dust. I love the South West.
If you are wondering (though you probably stopped reading this nonsense awhile ago), here are my other favorite concepts/tropes/characters
- love-hate romance (a la Pride & Prejudice or Hermione and Ron's romance in Harry Potter),
- the sea (The Sea, the Sea)
- foreboding landscapes - particularly cliff-facing (The Unicorn)
- antebellum southern mansions (The Sound and the Fury or any Faulkner, really)
- sexy aliens
- unrequited love [though this one is tricky - it's hard for the character not to come off as pathetic]
- bad-ass women [different from strong women, which is just a given with me. Helen is strong - Bad Ass is a little more than that. [book:Jade Darcy and the Affair of Honor|2037394]],
- epigraphs (Steven King does great epigraphs)
- pugs or dogs of any kind really. And yeah, this novel also had a dog! Bonus.
I'll start with the novel itself - first and foremost, this novel does not try to be more than it is. It's a zany adventure with mythological creatures. It's not an story that will pervade until the end of time, it's not going to win a Pulitzer and it doesn't aspire to some higher meaning. But this is what's so great about it. Its raison d'être is to be a good time, and it has fulfilled its purpose ten-fold.
It's also freakin' hilarious. I laughed aloud quite a few times during the story and was smiling pretty much the entire time. It's a particular kind of comedy but it's definitely my kind. There was also romance. It wasn't the forefront of the story but it pervaded nicely, as it should - I also thought the timeline was realistic (sometimes novels drag on an unspoken romance for too long and sometimes they rush into it. This one had the perfect amount of tension and resolution). It was definitely a feed-good novel in that regard, and I definitely like when my romance is paired with punching dragons in the face. Twice.
The characters themselves were wonderful. They were memorable, and not just because one was a minotaur. They had personality, they struggled with conflict, and they had some personal revelations. Nothing major, but, as I said before, this novel isn't about that. Too much focus on their internal problems would have dampened the mood. I also loved the midlife crisis orcs and their gang; they were an absolute riot. To be honest, I loved every aspect of this novel. There was nothing I didn't like and neither was any of it belaboured or rushed. It felt like every creature they came up against had the appropriate amount of time allotted to them.
The ending was great. The last two novels of Martinez's that I read had rather anti-climactic endings, but this one was wonderful in that it had a good amount of action and suspense. Two nice little epilogues too.
I am a very time-conscious person. Generally I read novels after I'm done work and between when my husband gets home, on the weekends in the morning while having coffee, and sometimes before I go to bed (usually that time is reserved for writing terrible fan-fiction). I sat down yesterday around 5:30, expecting to have maybe 45 minutes until the hubs returned. Usually, if he were delayed, I would feel that too much time had passed and throw him a text (mainly saying "ETA? I'm hungry"). But, with this novel, I didn't even notice. I finished the book and realized hubbo was almost an hour later than expected. So, in terms of "hooked", this novel had me fully anchored. And that's saying something.
Overall, this novel is just excellent. I highly recommend it. Yet, for me, this novel is pushing it's way towards the honor of being my favorite I read this year. Why? Well, it contained five (!) of my favorite concepts/tropes. And, because I'm on holiday and I'm a little bored today, I'm going to go through them.
1. Minotaurs. They fascinate me. It's possible this stemmed from my love of The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break, but I'm pretty sure that book simply fueled my interest in the creature. I guess because they are such an entirely tragic and misunderstood character in Greek mythology.
2. Unconventional romance. I've always loved when people of different species/cultures/castes get romantically involved. Not sure why. But when it comes to people falling in love, I'm as open-minded and encouraging of it as they come.
3. Quests. This is probably my favorite plot trope, and particularly when it's a couple characters traveling from point A to B with numerous misadventures in between. I prefer my fiction to either a) keep me in one small place or b) take me all over the place. Hmm, maybe that's why I don't really read novels set in cities. Cities are just too self-contained, too rigid, and too busy for the kind of introspection a dull place provides.
3.1. Road Trips. I guess this is kind of a sub-section of quests. And I love them for the same reasons as above.
4. When mythological creatures exist in a modern setting (but not magical realism). I don't like magical realism generally, but I absolutely freakin' love when mythological creatures (especially from Greek mythology) exist in the real world in a modern setting (and when said creatures are an accepted part of society). I find it interesting from a cultural point of view as well as a logistical one.
5. Nevada. I love the South Western United States. I recently visited Vegas and my favorite part of the trip was when we left the city to go on a mini road-trip in Arizona. The houses, the dry heat, the vegetation, the animals, the openness, the canyons and dust. I love the South West.
If you are wondering (though you probably stopped reading this nonsense awhile ago), here are my other favorite concepts/tropes/characters
- love-hate romance (a la Pride & Prejudice or Hermione and Ron's romance in Harry Potter),
- the sea (The Sea, the Sea)
- foreboding landscapes - particularly cliff-facing (The Unicorn)
- antebellum southern mansions (The Sound and the Fury or any Faulkner, really)
- sexy aliens
- unrequited love [though this one is tricky - it's hard for the character not to come off as pathetic]
- bad-ass women [different from strong women, which is just a given with me. Helen is strong - Bad Ass is a little more than that. [book:Jade Darcy and the Affair of Honor|2037394]],
- epigraphs (Steven King does great epigraphs)
- pugs or dogs of any kind really. And yeah, this novel also had a dog! Bonus.
January 24, 2020
Fun and charming. Not too thematically deep or touching, and where it approaches deep and touching it also approaches — but, admirably, doesn't quite arrive, achieving Zeno's paradox by personalizing the story — at cliche. Honestly, the sort of thing I wanted to write in my younger years, but done better.
(If you want something with a similar slice-of-life-meets-genre spirit, but with more distinctive and developed themes, check out the Night Vale novels.)
(If you want something with a similar slice-of-life-meets-genre spirit, but with more distinctive and developed themes, check out the Night Vale novels.)
September 23, 2023
This was a fun one. I loved all the tropes and how the author turned them about. I loved the Wild Hunt. Orcs are some of my favorite fantasy creatures. The premise reminded me of that Will Smith movie Bright . Definitely, would recommend to fans of fantasy that are looking for some subversive fun.
January 6, 2020
That was darn fun! Probably my favorite by this author. It’s been a while since I powered through a book in 2.5 days. This one had all the things I love. Fast pace a bit of magic and a lot of humor and sass.
July 20, 2020
A great adult Percy Jackson like tale. The dialogue was witty and the quest was a fun read. The writing was a bit odd at times when details were sometimes left out (ie: going from a conversation to driving away without any actual detail to explain they were leaving). Overall a great fun summer time read.
February 6, 2018
I wanted this adventure to be epic, but it was only mildly entertaining. I suppose my love for Percy Jackson set higher standards for mythology adventure books.
June 17, 2021
haaaaaaairy baby!
February 17, 2022
Fun and easy read. There are parts that seem corny or too easy but that is talked about right at the beginning so it works. I would like to see a sequel, maybe involving the orcs 🤷♀️
April 11, 2019
I had chosen this book because it popped out to me. After reading the back I realized that it is like Harry Potter and Percy Jackson combined into one. Being two of my favorite series I decided to give it a try. The title and front cover was extremely eye catching with big bold red letters that read, “EPIC ROAD QUEST”. After seeing these catching elements I was eager to read the book.
The book starts out with Helen and Troy working together at a hamburger restaurant. Troy is an high school age kid that is strong, intelligent, athletic, and courageous. Helen is a teenage Minotaur that has a curse that runs in her family. After work one day the two are helping clean and their boss tries to sacrifice Helen to his “god”. However upon his attempt, Helen pushes him away and his god (in ground beef form) gobbles up Helen’s boss. The god explains to both Helen and Troy that now that he is back on Earth for the time being he must have the only two people in his vicinity go on a quest. The god then returns back to the heavens and the two teenagers are taken to the National Bureau of Questing. They are given supplies and are on their way. No directions. No hints. No help. Read to find out more.
Overall I give this book Five Stars. The author wrote this extremely well describing the characters and their thoughts as the story went on. In addition to this they added a funny sense to the book. One of these being Franklin, the human in an Orc gang. The author also did a great job of pulling the reader in. I was hooked constantly and never felt bored while reading. In other mythical style books like this there is always a slow part where it is people traveling or people just starting the Hero’s Journey. However in this book there is no slow parts. It is all constant and fast paced with an exception to 2 or so minor moments.
There was little to no cons, however the jumpiness between the Orc point of view and the Quester point of view was a little annoying in the sense that you just wanted to see what the two questers did next. I also believe that if they didn’t do it like this it would have made the story flow way different and a lot worse. This technically isn't a con but is a downside to the book.
The book starts out with Helen and Troy working together at a hamburger restaurant. Troy is an high school age kid that is strong, intelligent, athletic, and courageous. Helen is a teenage Minotaur that has a curse that runs in her family. After work one day the two are helping clean and their boss tries to sacrifice Helen to his “god”. However upon his attempt, Helen pushes him away and his god (in ground beef form) gobbles up Helen’s boss. The god explains to both Helen and Troy that now that he is back on Earth for the time being he must have the only two people in his vicinity go on a quest. The god then returns back to the heavens and the two teenagers are taken to the National Bureau of Questing. They are given supplies and are on their way. No directions. No hints. No help. Read to find out more.
Overall I give this book Five Stars. The author wrote this extremely well describing the characters and their thoughts as the story went on. In addition to this they added a funny sense to the book. One of these being Franklin, the human in an Orc gang. The author also did a great job of pulling the reader in. I was hooked constantly and never felt bored while reading. In other mythical style books like this there is always a slow part where it is people traveling or people just starting the Hero’s Journey. However in this book there is no slow parts. It is all constant and fast paced with an exception to 2 or so minor moments.
There was little to no cons, however the jumpiness between the Orc point of view and the Quester point of view was a little annoying in the sense that you just wanted to see what the two questers did next. I also believe that if they didn’t do it like this it would have made the story flow way different and a lot worse. This technically isn't a con but is a downside to the book.
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