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Strings Attached: Life Lessons from the World's Toughest Teacher
THE FINE ART OF TOUGH LOVE. If you're lucky, somewhere in your past is that one person who changed your life forever. The one who pushed you to dream bigger and to reach higher, and who set you straight on what matters in life. Perhaps it was a coach, or a professor, or a family friend. For Joanne Lipman and Melanie Kupchynsky, that person was a public-school music teacher, Jerry Kupchynsky, known as Mr. K--a Ukrainian-born taskmaster who yelled and stomped and screamed, and who drove his students harder than anyone had ever driven them before. Through sheer force of will, he made them better than they had any right to be.Strings Attached tells the inspiring, poignant, and powerful story of this remarkable man, whose life seemed to conspire against him at every turn and yet who was able to transform his own heartache into triumph for his students. Lyrically recounted by two former students -- acclaimed journalist Joanne Lipman and Mr. K's daughter, Chicago Symphony Orchestra violinist Melanie Kupchynsky -- Strings Attached takes you on a journey that spans from his days as a forced Nazi laborer and his later home life as a husband to an invalid wife, to his heart-breaking search for his missing daughter, Melanie's sister. This is an unforgettable tale -- a captivating narrative that is as absorbing as fiction -- about the power of a great teacher, but also about the legacy that remains long after the last note has faded into lessons in resilience, excellence, and tough love.Strings Attached is for anyone indebted to a mentor and for those devoted to igniting excellence in others.
341 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2013
48 people are currently reading
1852 people want to read
About the author
Joanne Lipman
10 books69 followersAward-winning journalist Joanne Lipman is author of the No. 1 bestseller THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID and NEXT! The Power of Reinvention in Life and Work. She is also a Yale University lecturer and CNBC on-air contributor.
Previously, Lipman served as editor in chief of USA Today, USA Today Network, Conde Nast Portfolio, and the Wall Street Journal Weekend, leading those organizations to a combined six Pulitzer Prizes.
At Gannett, where she was also chief content officer, Lipman led USA Today plus 109 local newspapers including the Detroit Free Press, the Des Moines Register, and the Arizona Republic. In that role, she oversaw more than 3,000 journalists and led the organization to three Pulitzer Prizes.
Lipman began her career as a reporter for The Wall Street Journal, ultimately rising to deputy managing editor – the first woman to attain that post – and supervising coverage that won three Pulitzer Prizes.
Lipman is a frequent public speaker and has appeared as a television commentator on ABC, NBC, CNN, CNBC, MSNBC, and PBS. Her work has been published in outlets including The New York Times, Time, Newsweek and the Harvard Business Review. She is co-author, with Melanie Kupchynsky, of the acclaimed music memoir “Strings Attached.”
A winner of the Matrix Award for women in communications, Lipman serves or has served on the Yale University Council, the boards of the Knights Orchestra, the World Editors Forum, and the advisory boards of Breastcancer.org and the Yale School of Music. She is a member of the Council on Foreign Relations. and She and her husband live in New York City and are the parents of two grown children.
= Yale grad, mom of two, lapsed viola player. For more, please visit JoanneLipman.com
Previously, Lipman served as editor in chief of USA Today, USA Today Network, Conde Nast Portfolio, and the Wall Street Journal Weekend, leading those organizations to a combined six Pulitzer Prizes.
At Gannett, where she was also chief content officer, Lipman led USA Today plus 109 local newspapers including the Detroit Free Press, the Des Moines Register, and the Arizona Republic. In that role, she oversaw more than 3,000 journalists and led the organization to three Pulitzer Prizes.
Lipman began her career as a reporter for The Wall Street Journal, ultimately rising to deputy managing editor – the first woman to attain that post – and supervising coverage that won three Pulitzer Prizes.
Lipman is a frequent public speaker and has appeared as a television commentator on ABC, NBC, CNN, CNBC, MSNBC, and PBS. Her work has been published in outlets including The New York Times, Time, Newsweek and the Harvard Business Review. She is co-author, with Melanie Kupchynsky, of the acclaimed music memoir “Strings Attached.”
A winner of the Matrix Award for women in communications, Lipman serves or has served on the Yale University Council, the boards of the Knights Orchestra, the World Editors Forum, and the advisory boards of Breastcancer.org and the Yale School of Music. She is a member of the Council on Foreign Relations. and She and her husband live in New York City and are the parents of two grown children.
= Yale grad, mom of two, lapsed viola player. For more, please visit JoanneLipman.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 142 reviews
October 17, 2013
Think Mr. Holland's Opus meets Chinatown and you've got an idea of the story arc of Strings Attached. As told by his daughter/master violinist and his student/deputy managing editor of the Wall Street Journal, Strings Attached provides several first-hand accounts of an irascible music teacher's explicit passion and implicit caring as he influences an entire generation of musicians. It's also the story of his youngest daughter's mysterious disappearance and Mr K's own harrowing, near-death escape from WWII Ukraine. Ultimately this is an ode - or perhaps an elegy - to the mentor who has affected and changed our own lives, providing insight into the tragedies, both great and small, that both they and we are forced to confront. Does it answer any pedagogical questions about how best to instruct? Not really, but that's not exactly the point of the book. Success - however that's measured - is still born from hard work and failure is still a powerful lesson; but Strings Attached sheds at least a little light on the profound impact exceptional teachers can have on us. I've already sent my college English professor and mentor, Dr. Galioto, a copy.
October 2, 2013
This book is at once a portrait of the Kupchynsky family, a memoir about growing up and "coming of age" in New Jersey between the 1960s and the 1980s, and the story of a man who, deprived of a childhood, came to love music as a young adult, and gave his children and thousands of other children the opportunity to have music become a vital part of their lives.
Jerry Kupchynsky, or Mr. K., as he was called by his students, first fell in love with the sound of a violin at the age of 15. In 1946, at the age of 18, he came to America after having a very difficult life (to say the least) in the Ukraine, and went to study music (from scratch) with Roman Prydatkevitch, a fellow Ukrainian immigrant who taught at Murray State University in Kentucky. He studied violin and cello there, and then studied violin with Samuel Applebaum at Rutgers. He married a pianist who was also a choral conductor, and they had two children. Mr. K. made sure both of them began the violin as soon as they were big enough to play a quarter-sized instrument (in the pre-Suzuki days a 1/4 sized fiddle was the smallest one available). He gave his daughters lessons every evening after dinner.
Mr. K., who started teaching in a small orchestral program in East Brunswick, NJ in 1956, became the supervisor of music for the city in 1967. He conducted the orchestras in all the schools, and taught many of the string students privately. He gave tests to assess aptitude, and filled his students with a sense of "old-world" exoticism by yelling at them, and demoralizing them. But he balanced out his flights of temper with an overabundance of support and genuine affection. Such behavior from a school music teacher would never be tolerated in the 21st century.
Joanne Lipman studied viola with Mr. K., and she played in the East Brunswick school orchestras. She describes his conducting as erratic (at best), writes about his terrible sense of rhythm, and introduces him to us as the "meanest man" she ever met. There is no point where Melanie Kupchynsky, Jerry Kupchynsky's prodigious daughter, mentions the quality of her father's playing (which I imagine was never as high as her playing as a child). Both Joanne and Melanie describe Mr. K.'s method of teaching: he sat at the piano and forcefully encouraged his students (and daughters) to play the right notes in tune, and to play with good form and good technique. He took his daughters and his students through some rudimentary repertoire, and when they moved beyond his ability, he sent them to other teachers. His daughters went to Samuel Applebaum, and Joanne went to study viola with the ever gracious Paul Doktor.
Joanne Lipman and Melanie Kupchynsky went to school together, and they played in a string quartet along with Melanie's younger sister Stephanie. After many years away from one another, they collaborated on this memoir. The two friends were opposites: Melanie was a star violinist at a young age, and Lipman, who loved music and wanted to play, was considered untalented by her parents. Mr. K. noticed her desire, intelligence, and will, and after she got a good score on his aptitude test, he decided she would make a good violist. He was right. She also became an excellent writer, and is now one of the editors of the Wall Street Journal. After spending time in the Pittsburgh Symphony, and after taking 19 auditions, Melanie Kupchynsky joined the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. Both credit their success to having studied with Jerry Kupchynsky.
Some readers might take this book as an example of "tough love," and others might disagree loudly with Kupchynsky's teaching methods. My parents were more like Joanne's parents because they never insisted that I practice. I kind of envied my friends who had parents who did insist they practice, but my dedication to music came from within, and eventually I spent more time practicing than I probably should have. I find this look into the Kupchynsky household of the "spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child" mid 1960s at once fascinating and disturbing. The book offers an accurate account of a time of transition in public education and in culture in general (I was there and I remember). Some would say that it was a time of unregulated innocence, and some would say that it was a time of unregulated abuse and terror.
This is not a veneration, as so many portrait-memoirs are, and it is not a glimpse into a life of tremendous personal artistic accomplishment, talent, or genius. It is an honest and well-rounded picture of a person in the "trenches" (as some of us teaching music in the hinterlands refer to our task) of string teaching, where there is little in the way of glamour, but there is a lot of camaraderie, and there is a lot of hard work.
I imagine that Mr. K. will be compared with the "Tiger Mother," but Amy Chua wanted to give her daughters the kind of upbringing she had, and Jerry Kupchynsky wanted to give his daughters the kind of musical childhood he never had. He didn't have the example of a father (he grew up with a strong mother who kept her son from getting killed and saw that he made it through high school), and I doubt he had any kind teachers during what should have been his childhood. He served in the the Ukranian guerrilla army (fighting the Germans) as a teenager and in the U.S. Army in Korea early in his American experience, so Mr. Kupchynsky had models of military discipline to draw upon when attempting to get people to work together. And that's what he used with his students.
He made it clear to his daughters that he wanted them to be music teachers. He sent Melanie to the New England Conservatory where the music education students were treated as second class citizens. Melanie was a dutiful first-born daughter, and she wanted nothing more than to please her father, but she became a performance major. Stephanie was a rebellious second-born child, and she fought her father during every step of her adolescence, but she became a violin teacher when she grew up, and she used a far kinder and gentler method of teaching than the method her father used. The story of Stephanie is compelling. I will leave it to you to discover.
What attracts me most about Strings Attached is the quality of the writing, the organization of the book, the subject matter, and the honesty of the writers. Lipman and Kupchynsky alternate chapters, and they often tell the same story from different personal perspectives. This technique I usually associate with fiction works brilliantly here because it allows for an enticing mix of the subjective and objective. There is sure to be a lot of well-deserved discussion following the release of the book.
http://musicalassumptions.blogspot.co...
Jerry Kupchynsky, or Mr. K., as he was called by his students, first fell in love with the sound of a violin at the age of 15. In 1946, at the age of 18, he came to America after having a very difficult life (to say the least) in the Ukraine, and went to study music (from scratch) with Roman Prydatkevitch, a fellow Ukrainian immigrant who taught at Murray State University in Kentucky. He studied violin and cello there, and then studied violin with Samuel Applebaum at Rutgers. He married a pianist who was also a choral conductor, and they had two children. Mr. K. made sure both of them began the violin as soon as they were big enough to play a quarter-sized instrument (in the pre-Suzuki days a 1/4 sized fiddle was the smallest one available). He gave his daughters lessons every evening after dinner.
Mr. K., who started teaching in a small orchestral program in East Brunswick, NJ in 1956, became the supervisor of music for the city in 1967. He conducted the orchestras in all the schools, and taught many of the string students privately. He gave tests to assess aptitude, and filled his students with a sense of "old-world" exoticism by yelling at them, and demoralizing them. But he balanced out his flights of temper with an overabundance of support and genuine affection. Such behavior from a school music teacher would never be tolerated in the 21st century.
Joanne Lipman studied viola with Mr. K., and she played in the East Brunswick school orchestras. She describes his conducting as erratic (at best), writes about his terrible sense of rhythm, and introduces him to us as the "meanest man" she ever met. There is no point where Melanie Kupchynsky, Jerry Kupchynsky's prodigious daughter, mentions the quality of her father's playing (which I imagine was never as high as her playing as a child). Both Joanne and Melanie describe Mr. K.'s method of teaching: he sat at the piano and forcefully encouraged his students (and daughters) to play the right notes in tune, and to play with good form and good technique. He took his daughters and his students through some rudimentary repertoire, and when they moved beyond his ability, he sent them to other teachers. His daughters went to Samuel Applebaum, and Joanne went to study viola with the ever gracious Paul Doktor.
Joanne Lipman and Melanie Kupchynsky went to school together, and they played in a string quartet along with Melanie's younger sister Stephanie. After many years away from one another, they collaborated on this memoir. The two friends were opposites: Melanie was a star violinist at a young age, and Lipman, who loved music and wanted to play, was considered untalented by her parents. Mr. K. noticed her desire, intelligence, and will, and after she got a good score on his aptitude test, he decided she would make a good violist. He was right. She also became an excellent writer, and is now one of the editors of the Wall Street Journal. After spending time in the Pittsburgh Symphony, and after taking 19 auditions, Melanie Kupchynsky joined the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. Both credit their success to having studied with Jerry Kupchynsky.
Some readers might take this book as an example of "tough love," and others might disagree loudly with Kupchynsky's teaching methods. My parents were more like Joanne's parents because they never insisted that I practice. I kind of envied my friends who had parents who did insist they practice, but my dedication to music came from within, and eventually I spent more time practicing than I probably should have. I find this look into the Kupchynsky household of the "spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child" mid 1960s at once fascinating and disturbing. The book offers an accurate account of a time of transition in public education and in culture in general (I was there and I remember). Some would say that it was a time of unregulated innocence, and some would say that it was a time of unregulated abuse and terror.
This is not a veneration, as so many portrait-memoirs are, and it is not a glimpse into a life of tremendous personal artistic accomplishment, talent, or genius. It is an honest and well-rounded picture of a person in the "trenches" (as some of us teaching music in the hinterlands refer to our task) of string teaching, where there is little in the way of glamour, but there is a lot of camaraderie, and there is a lot of hard work.
I imagine that Mr. K. will be compared with the "Tiger Mother," but Amy Chua wanted to give her daughters the kind of upbringing she had, and Jerry Kupchynsky wanted to give his daughters the kind of musical childhood he never had. He didn't have the example of a father (he grew up with a strong mother who kept her son from getting killed and saw that he made it through high school), and I doubt he had any kind teachers during what should have been his childhood. He served in the the Ukranian guerrilla army (fighting the Germans) as a teenager and in the U.S. Army in Korea early in his American experience, so Mr. Kupchynsky had models of military discipline to draw upon when attempting to get people to work together. And that's what he used with his students.
He made it clear to his daughters that he wanted them to be music teachers. He sent Melanie to the New England Conservatory where the music education students were treated as second class citizens. Melanie was a dutiful first-born daughter, and she wanted nothing more than to please her father, but she became a performance major. Stephanie was a rebellious second-born child, and she fought her father during every step of her adolescence, but she became a violin teacher when she grew up, and she used a far kinder and gentler method of teaching than the method her father used. The story of Stephanie is compelling. I will leave it to you to discover.
What attracts me most about Strings Attached is the quality of the writing, the organization of the book, the subject matter, and the honesty of the writers. Lipman and Kupchynsky alternate chapters, and they often tell the same story from different personal perspectives. This technique I usually associate with fiction works brilliantly here because it allows for an enticing mix of the subjective and objective. There is sure to be a lot of well-deserved discussion following the release of the book.
http://musicalassumptions.blogspot.co...
June 20, 2019
An interesting insight in the life of a dedicated music teacher. I liked the musical references and the way the bonding which making music together was illustrated. However, the story line was a bit vague, as there is not really a plot, more a description of people their lives.
January 26, 2015
Strings Attached is a biography about Jarema “Jerry” Kupchynsky or Mr. K as he was known to his music students. This book was co-written by two former students – his daughter Melanie Kupchynsky, currently a violinist with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra and Joanne Lipman, who learned to play the cello under Mr. K’s tutelage and whose acclaimed journalistic career includes a deputy managing editorship with the Wall Street Journal.
While I enjoyed Strings Attached: One Tough Teacher and the Gift of Great Expectations, I was expecting more based on all the great ratings and reviews. I was hoping to choose this inspirational non-fiction true story for an upcoming in person book club. It was not Mr. K’s story or inspiration that I thought fell a bit short but rather the book’s writing style and organization. I think if Mr. K’s beginnings had been at the beginning of the book, rather than at the end, the book would have been so much better – not just with respect to the storyline’s flow but also by giving the reader a better understanding of Mr. K. early on.
The story is about a Ukrainian immigrant who grew up in the midst of war in his homeland, however Mr. K’s growing up years weren’t addressed until the latter part of the book. Later in life, Mr. K suffered many other hardships. His wife Jean, an accomplished musician in her own right, was bedridden at a very young age leaving Mr. K. to effectively raise two daughters on his own. In order to provide for his family, including the attendant care his wife needed, Mr. K. worked evenings in addition to very full days. Mr. K. didn’t dwell on his difficulties but rather remained focussed and primarily optimistic.
The book is mainly about Mr. K. teaching public school students how to play musical instruments individually and also as part of the school’s award winning orchestra. With minimal funding in a very small town, Mr. K’s dream and drive to make music easily accessible to children became a reality. He developed one of the most successful public school music programs and orchestras in the United States and many of his students went on to become professional musicians. The reason for Mr. K. and his students’ success was Mr. K.’s passion, his high standards and an instructional style that included tough love.
Mr. K. truly believed that each of his students was special and could always improve and do better. If students didn’t practise or misbehaved in any way, he didn’t butter them up or encourage them but rather berated them. And as they practised and improved their musicianship, he kept raising the bar and the students kept raising their skills and achievements. The story confirms that you rise to the level of expectations that others have of you. Through sheer force of will, Mr. K. made each student better than they would have been without him.
In this day and age, Mr. K’s yelling and screaming would likely not be tolerated but when he retired, it was quite amazing the number of students who returned to pay him tribute in person and to say thanks. His students felt the love and understood that Mr. K really believed in them. Interestingly, they all spoke about learning much more than music from Mr. K. They thanked him for helping them become better people because he taught them discipline, hard work, believing in themselves, sharing the load and the limelight, working with others and so much more.
Besides tough love and high expectations, Mr. K. also treated each student as an individual. For children who needed confidence boosting, Mr. K. found ways to give it to them. Even when students showed no real signs of musical talent, Mr. K. found something else they were special at and helped them succeed in this endeavour so they’d feel good about themselves. Mr. K. was a true teacher and terrific mentor to any child fortunate enough to study with him.
Strings Attached was quite an amazing and uplifting true story! The pictures of Mr. K., his family, numerous students at home and at live events and performances all helped make the story come even more alive. If I could, I would rate the book 4 stars just for the story. However I have rated the overall book 3 stars overall because I thought the book could have been improved to pay Mr. K. even more tribute.
While I enjoyed Strings Attached: One Tough Teacher and the Gift of Great Expectations, I was expecting more based on all the great ratings and reviews. I was hoping to choose this inspirational non-fiction true story for an upcoming in person book club. It was not Mr. K’s story or inspiration that I thought fell a bit short but rather the book’s writing style and organization. I think if Mr. K’s beginnings had been at the beginning of the book, rather than at the end, the book would have been so much better – not just with respect to the storyline’s flow but also by giving the reader a better understanding of Mr. K. early on.
The story is about a Ukrainian immigrant who grew up in the midst of war in his homeland, however Mr. K’s growing up years weren’t addressed until the latter part of the book. Later in life, Mr. K suffered many other hardships. His wife Jean, an accomplished musician in her own right, was bedridden at a very young age leaving Mr. K. to effectively raise two daughters on his own. In order to provide for his family, including the attendant care his wife needed, Mr. K. worked evenings in addition to very full days. Mr. K. didn’t dwell on his difficulties but rather remained focussed and primarily optimistic.
The book is mainly about Mr. K. teaching public school students how to play musical instruments individually and also as part of the school’s award winning orchestra. With minimal funding in a very small town, Mr. K’s dream and drive to make music easily accessible to children became a reality. He developed one of the most successful public school music programs and orchestras in the United States and many of his students went on to become professional musicians. The reason for Mr. K. and his students’ success was Mr. K.’s passion, his high standards and an instructional style that included tough love.
Mr. K. truly believed that each of his students was special and could always improve and do better. If students didn’t practise or misbehaved in any way, he didn’t butter them up or encourage them but rather berated them. And as they practised and improved their musicianship, he kept raising the bar and the students kept raising their skills and achievements. The story confirms that you rise to the level of expectations that others have of you. Through sheer force of will, Mr. K. made each student better than they would have been without him.
In this day and age, Mr. K’s yelling and screaming would likely not be tolerated but when he retired, it was quite amazing the number of students who returned to pay him tribute in person and to say thanks. His students felt the love and understood that Mr. K really believed in them. Interestingly, they all spoke about learning much more than music from Mr. K. They thanked him for helping them become better people because he taught them discipline, hard work, believing in themselves, sharing the load and the limelight, working with others and so much more.
Besides tough love and high expectations, Mr. K. also treated each student as an individual. For children who needed confidence boosting, Mr. K. found ways to give it to them. Even when students showed no real signs of musical talent, Mr. K. found something else they were special at and helped them succeed in this endeavour so they’d feel good about themselves. Mr. K. was a true teacher and terrific mentor to any child fortunate enough to study with him.
Strings Attached was quite an amazing and uplifting true story! The pictures of Mr. K., his family, numerous students at home and at live events and performances all helped make the story come even more alive. If I could, I would rate the book 4 stars just for the story. However I have rated the overall book 3 stars overall because I thought the book could have been improved to pay Mr. K. even more tribute.
August 30, 2013
I loved this book! I can't stop thinking about it. At times I found myself cheering or laughing and then suddenly my heart was breaking. Always I was completely absorbed in the story. The writing and organization make it flow perfectly from one voice to the next. And I love Mr. K. I just want to give that man a hug!
Oh how I wish more teachers today would raise their expectations for their students. Students need something to aim for and I really think we sell them short when we don't push them to excel. Those whose lives were touched by Mr. K have wonderful accomplishments and work ethics to show for it. He taught them to discipline themselves and their lives have been blessed for that gift.
A few of my favorite quotes from the book:
"Circumstances have forced me to learn self-mastery!" (Mr. K)
"There really is no such thing as happiness without hard work." (Joanne Lipman)
"One thing I learned from Mr. K was don't let somebody say you can't do something. He pushed us, but you could sense that he believed in us. He pushed everybody to do better than they thought they could." (Donald Meyers)
"Mr. K was the toughest teacher we ever had. He could be downright mean. It was difficult to even imagine a Mr. K in today's world. Parents would be outraged. They'd be calling and complaining. They'd yell at the principal if he singled out their kid for playing out of tune. They'd call a lawyer if he suggested their child was "deaf" or an "idyot." Administrators would be pressured to fire him. Almost surely they would.
"In the end, the fact is, Mr. K did push us hard: harder than our parents, harder than our other teachers. He scared the daylights out of us. Through sheer force of will, he made us better than we had any right to be.
"It didn't hit me, until then, how much we loved him for it." (Joanne Lipman)
Oh how I wish more teachers today would raise their expectations for their students. Students need something to aim for and I really think we sell them short when we don't push them to excel. Those whose lives were touched by Mr. K have wonderful accomplishments and work ethics to show for it. He taught them to discipline themselves and their lives have been blessed for that gift.
A few of my favorite quotes from the book:
"Circumstances have forced me to learn self-mastery!" (Mr. K)
"There really is no such thing as happiness without hard work." (Joanne Lipman)
"One thing I learned from Mr. K was don't let somebody say you can't do something. He pushed us, but you could sense that he believed in us. He pushed everybody to do better than they thought they could." (Donald Meyers)
"Mr. K was the toughest teacher we ever had. He could be downright mean. It was difficult to even imagine a Mr. K in today's world. Parents would be outraged. They'd be calling and complaining. They'd yell at the principal if he singled out their kid for playing out of tune. They'd call a lawyer if he suggested their child was "deaf" or an "idyot." Administrators would be pressured to fire him. Almost surely they would.
"In the end, the fact is, Mr. K did push us hard: harder than our parents, harder than our other teachers. He scared the daylights out of us. Through sheer force of will, he made us better than we had any right to be.
"It didn't hit me, until then, how much we loved him for it." (Joanne Lipman)
October 27, 2013
I purchased this book on October 4, started it on October 5 and finished it on October 6. Then I reread the book. I have not read a book this quickly in years; neither have I read a book and then immediately reread it. The authors, Joanne Lipmann and Melanie Kupchynsky, capture with beauty and poignance the story of Melanie's father, Jerry (known as Mr. K) and how his work as a director of a school orchestra influenced their lives and the lives of other students in the orchestra. Mr. K's life was hard -- born in the Ukraine in 1928, he had to endure much during the war years that taught him resilience, discipline, determination, and hope -- characteristics he taught his students. A secondary angle to this book that found resonance with me was the descriptions by Joanne and Melanie of growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, especially early adolescence and all its awkwardness. Underlying the entire biography is the underlying joy in making music with others. I recommend this book to anyone who is interested in music, in teaching (and not just music teaching), and in an amazing story of one man treasured by his family and his students.
October 21, 2013
This book is an absolute MUST READ. The touching story of a man who lived through every hardship you can imagine and was still able to give and find love everywhere he went, "Strings Attached" is a story about a beloved teacher who changed hundreds of lives by imparting his greatest gift: music. But that is all stuff you can find out from the synopsis on the back of the book. What they left out on the back is that if you choose to read this book be prepared to experience every emotion you can think of, and a few that you can't or have never had. You're going to get a unique perspective from a boy who fell in love with the sound of a violin and worked his fingers to the bone just to get an opportunity to make it a part of his life. And you'll see how he shared that gift with anyone who would listen. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and sometimes you'll do both at once. I'm a better person for reading this book, and I sincerely believe that anyone who decides to pick it up will have a hard time putting it down, even after you've flipped the last page.
April 19, 2025
got in today and I just got done reading it. It is a really good book
May 3, 2018
Very inspiring book about a Ukrainian music teacher Mr K and the many lives he had impacted. Towards the end of the book, it was painful and heartbreaking and yet uplifting at the same time as the authors celebrated the joy of life, the warmth of families and friends and the power of music. Mr K was truly an amazing teacher and father!
March 4, 2023
"Happiness is acheived through hard work." Beautifully written and engaging story about perserverence through the lens of a musical lense. The legacy of Mr. K and how he gave the gift of not only music but lessons that last a lifetime. Lessons of discipline, optimism, self-confidence, and the value of hard-work are peppered throughout.
September 25, 2013
For me, reading the synopsis brought snippets of magical memories for me, and without it I might never have read and reviewed this book.
Strings Attached was personal and emotional for me on two levels: first, as a young music student faced with teachers who held their rulers above my knuckles as I struggled to learn to play piano, and second, as a lover of classical music. Some teachers instilled in me the love of the classics but also my father loved them and played them often on Saturday mornings on an old Stromberg-Carlson phonograph. Both my father and my music teachers are all held lovingly in my memory as the roots of my musical life.
Strings Attached has received great advance reviews, and I join them here in saying that this book is a must read. And it isn't written only for musicians or lovers of music -- anyone with heart and a love of humanity will enjoy this book.
Within its pages, you meet Jerry Kupchynsky, a Ukrainian immigrant who came to the United States in search of a future, something better than he had lived through in the Ukraine. The layers of his life began in Ukraine and the multitude of layers grew -- birth in the Ukraine near the start of the Holodomor and a tragic childhood as a result, strength of character, perseverance, incredible work ethic, a love of music and family, and unimaginable joy. Yes, joy! Mr. K, as his students called him, was a ball of fire, an unfathomable level of energy passion for teaching, his students, and once again the music.
Mr. K's teaching style was one of high expectations, rules, and often impatience, but always with love. His use in dialogue of musical terms or anywhere the authors use musical terminology they have done so in layman's terms so as not to interrupt the flow of the text.
In re-enacting teaching sessions with Mr. K and his students, Lipman and Kupchynsky have cleverly adopted Mr. K's Ukrainian accent with his humorous remarks (some might call them insults) made to his students. I could not help but laugh at"Cellos sound like hippopotamus rising from mud at bottom of reever!" and "Who eez deaf in first violins?" Turn the page and you find him offering praise and wisdom that students carried with them for a lifetime ("you can't teach children an instrument and then hide them in a hole").
Lipman and Kupchynsky's memories and views segue back and forth easily and often seamlessly. Newspaper clippings and photographs accompany portions of the narrative as tribute is given to a man who made a lasting and loving impact on the lives of those he touched and taught.
My Recommendation:
Everyone should read this book. It gives hope that another Jerry Kupchynsky will rise among our educators.
Strings Attached was personal and emotional for me on two levels: first, as a young music student faced with teachers who held their rulers above my knuckles as I struggled to learn to play piano, and second, as a lover of classical music. Some teachers instilled in me the love of the classics but also my father loved them and played them often on Saturday mornings on an old Stromberg-Carlson phonograph. Both my father and my music teachers are all held lovingly in my memory as the roots of my musical life.
Strings Attached has received great advance reviews, and I join them here in saying that this book is a must read. And it isn't written only for musicians or lovers of music -- anyone with heart and a love of humanity will enjoy this book.
Within its pages, you meet Jerry Kupchynsky, a Ukrainian immigrant who came to the United States in search of a future, something better than he had lived through in the Ukraine. The layers of his life began in Ukraine and the multitude of layers grew -- birth in the Ukraine near the start of the Holodomor and a tragic childhood as a result, strength of character, perseverance, incredible work ethic, a love of music and family, and unimaginable joy. Yes, joy! Mr. K, as his students called him, was a ball of fire, an unfathomable level of energy passion for teaching, his students, and once again the music.
Mr. K's teaching style was one of high expectations, rules, and often impatience, but always with love. His use in dialogue of musical terms or anywhere the authors use musical terminology they have done so in layman's terms so as not to interrupt the flow of the text.
In re-enacting teaching sessions with Mr. K and his students, Lipman and Kupchynsky have cleverly adopted Mr. K's Ukrainian accent with his humorous remarks (some might call them insults) made to his students. I could not help but laugh at"Cellos sound like hippopotamus rising from mud at bottom of reever!" and "Who eez deaf in first violins?" Turn the page and you find him offering praise and wisdom that students carried with them for a lifetime ("you can't teach children an instrument and then hide them in a hole").
Lipman and Kupchynsky's memories and views segue back and forth easily and often seamlessly. Newspaper clippings and photographs accompany portions of the narrative as tribute is given to a man who made a lasting and loving impact on the lives of those he touched and taught.
My Recommendation:
Everyone should read this book. It gives hope that another Jerry Kupchynsky will rise among our educators.
Read
December 9, 2013 This book is full of every emotion you could possibly think of, but I believe the purpose is very clear. I think Joanne really wants the reader to feel a connection to the relationship between Mr. K and the students. This is easily done because almost everyone has had a teacher that they felt might have been much harder on themselves, and this book sheds some light on the subject and really tugs at your heart. At times I feel for the students because of the harsh things Mr. K says to them, but after hearing what hardships Mr. K has gone through, it's almost hard not to feel sorry for Mr. K at that point. I don't believe the purpose is to feel sorry for either of them, though I believe it is to gain understanding of each position, and make an easier accessible relationship to form between students and teachers.
I think the theme of this book is appreciation. Within the story, many of the students don't understand Mr. K's cruelty and harshness, many hate it, and parents often complain about his language used towards them. Mr. K risked losing his job to treat these kids this way, and why? Mr. K knew he could push these kids past there internal limitations, and the only way to do that was by being harsh, pushy, and not always affectionate towards his students. It wasn't until after Mr. K's passing that the now much older former students finally appreciated Mr. K's way of teaching, and I believe that is the theme. It is then re-proclaimed by playing a tribute to their blessing of a teacher, Mr. K.
The narration of Mr. K and his student's story is one of much effectiveness and emotion. The very smooth transitions between differing readers gives you a better sense of the story as well, with one characters being a journalist, and the other Mr. K's daughter Following the story is very easy, especially since you literally feel like you are living the lives of both these individuals. This also makes the story seem very real and relatable, ending in a very easy and enjoyable read.
I absolutely loved this book. It is without a doubt one of my favorite books I've ever read. It combines my love of music with the realization of how much some teachers really do truly love their students, and is a clear eye opener to how no one knows exactly how much one has been through. The fact that Mr. K had put up with so many heart-wrenching situations and still loved his students enough to put himself in a position of not being liked for the sake of his students accomplishment is astonishing,and when the students finally realize that, the book has so much more meaning than just a music teacher being stern with his students, but a bond that would never be forgotten.
I think the theme of this book is appreciation. Within the story, many of the students don't understand Mr. K's cruelty and harshness, many hate it, and parents often complain about his language used towards them. Mr. K risked losing his job to treat these kids this way, and why? Mr. K knew he could push these kids past there internal limitations, and the only way to do that was by being harsh, pushy, and not always affectionate towards his students. It wasn't until after Mr. K's passing that the now much older former students finally appreciated Mr. K's way of teaching, and I believe that is the theme. It is then re-proclaimed by playing a tribute to their blessing of a teacher, Mr. K.
The narration of Mr. K and his student's story is one of much effectiveness and emotion. The very smooth transitions between differing readers gives you a better sense of the story as well, with one characters being a journalist, and the other Mr. K's daughter Following the story is very easy, especially since you literally feel like you are living the lives of both these individuals. This also makes the story seem very real and relatable, ending in a very easy and enjoyable read.
I absolutely loved this book. It is without a doubt one of my favorite books I've ever read. It combines my love of music with the realization of how much some teachers really do truly love their students, and is a clear eye opener to how no one knows exactly how much one has been through. The fact that Mr. K had put up with so many heart-wrenching situations and still loved his students enough to put himself in a position of not being liked for the sake of his students accomplishment is astonishing,and when the students finally realize that, the book has so much more meaning than just a music teacher being stern with his students, but a bond that would never be forgotten.
October 12, 2013
4.5 stars. "String Attached" is the story of a tough high school music teacher named Mr. K who taught countless numbers of students to play music. I think most of us have those teachers in our life where we are sure that they changed us for the better (for me it was my 9th grade English teacher, Mr. McDonough, and my International Politics professor, Dr. McCartney).
Mr. K, like both of my favorite teachers, definitely was a teacher that would push you. Failure was not an option. They were hard but they made you want to be better. I think it's no accident that I found myself so drawn to the way that Mr. K teaches. I appreciate when teachers push you to be your best. It may not be the most fun time when you are going through it but these are the teachers that change your life. You probably spent a lot of time shaking your fists at them (but no, never to their faces!!!). They commanded respect and you knew that you were learning from them. These are the people that you think about for the rest of your life!
I, myself, would never be able to be a teacher. I don't have the patience at all! Teachers are absolutely amazing and I love reading about them. Teachers like Mr. K are incredibly worthy of being written about. This book was written by one of his former students, Joanne, and his daughter, Melanie (he also taught her to play violin). I think having two people who were so close to Mr. K write about him really brought him to life for me. The book goes through their memories of Mr. K and an event that will change all of their lives. When Mr. K's daughter and Melanie's sister, Stephanie, disappears, Joanne is pulled back to this man who had touched her life in so many ways.
I found myself both laughing and getting a little teary eyed throughout this book. This is definitely the kind of book that you read when you want to feel the whole range of emotions while you're reading it. This is a very good memoir!
Mr. K, like both of my favorite teachers, definitely was a teacher that would push you. Failure was not an option. They were hard but they made you want to be better. I think it's no accident that I found myself so drawn to the way that Mr. K teaches. I appreciate when teachers push you to be your best. It may not be the most fun time when you are going through it but these are the teachers that change your life. You probably spent a lot of time shaking your fists at them (but no, never to their faces!!!). They commanded respect and you knew that you were learning from them. These are the people that you think about for the rest of your life!
I, myself, would never be able to be a teacher. I don't have the patience at all! Teachers are absolutely amazing and I love reading about them. Teachers like Mr. K are incredibly worthy of being written about. This book was written by one of his former students, Joanne, and his daughter, Melanie (he also taught her to play violin). I think having two people who were so close to Mr. K write about him really brought him to life for me. The book goes through their memories of Mr. K and an event that will change all of their lives. When Mr. K's daughter and Melanie's sister, Stephanie, disappears, Joanne is pulled back to this man who had touched her life in so many ways.
I found myself both laughing and getting a little teary eyed throughout this book. This is definitely the kind of book that you read when you want to feel the whole range of emotions while you're reading it. This is a very good memoir!
January 17, 2016
As a toddler, I would climb up on the piano bench after my older sister practiced, and I'd pluck out by ear what she was playing. I began formal piano lessons at age 4 and continued until age 23. My teenage years were spent under the instruction of a teacher who became a dear friend and mentor over the years. She's someone who I automatically think of when I consider teachers who had a profound influence on my life. So I was interested in this book about the power of a music teacher.
"Mr. K" was a unique figure with a story all his own. He was a sharp teacher, the kind that yelled and prodded and pushed--all the while expressing his love through high expectations that made his students believe that they could be what he envisioned. His story is one of triumphing over tragedy, abuse, and disappointment to become a force for good in the world. I enjoyed the two points of view that alternated through the book, one of his daughter who became a virtuoso violinist, and the other a former student who is now a journalist.
This is the story of Mr. K's life and teaching career but also documents the mysterious disappearance of his second daughter and how that affected the family. That event provided a kind of thread the reader could continue to follow through a meandering and detailed biography and was a nice literary effect.
As I read and pondered, I couldn't help but constantly compare my musical path to that of the people in the book. They were quite different. I can't say whether it's better to be the teacher who nurtures quietly or yells "idyot" at students to push them to a higher level. Ultimately each teacher will reach students in different ways. As a music teacher myself, my takeaway is that I influence my students best when I am true to myself and my own style of teaching.
"Mr. K" was a unique figure with a story all his own. He was a sharp teacher, the kind that yelled and prodded and pushed--all the while expressing his love through high expectations that made his students believe that they could be what he envisioned. His story is one of triumphing over tragedy, abuse, and disappointment to become a force for good in the world. I enjoyed the two points of view that alternated through the book, one of his daughter who became a virtuoso violinist, and the other a former student who is now a journalist.
This is the story of Mr. K's life and teaching career but also documents the mysterious disappearance of his second daughter and how that affected the family. That event provided a kind of thread the reader could continue to follow through a meandering and detailed biography and was a nice literary effect.
As I read and pondered, I couldn't help but constantly compare my musical path to that of the people in the book. They were quite different. I can't say whether it's better to be the teacher who nurtures quietly or yells "idyot" at students to push them to a higher level. Ultimately each teacher will reach students in different ways. As a music teacher myself, my takeaway is that I influence my students best when I am true to myself and my own style of teaching.
January 13, 2014
If I could I would give this book a 5 PLUSE. The co-authors, Joanne Lipman and Melanie Kupchynsky did a masterful job in telling the story of their lives and of Melanie's father, Jerry (Mr. K) Kupchynsky. He was a hard nosed taskmaster that ONLY wanted the very best from his Strings students. He wasn't easy on his students at all. Stomped his foot hit their fingers and yelled until they got the message. They Thanked Him years later.
The life of MR. K, born a Ukrainian, suffered greatly during WW11 but overcame these terrible hardships and became a Strings Music Teacher out of Murry State in Kentucky.
His life in Jersey was also full of hardships,a missing daughter, and his wife that was hospital bound.
I hated that this book came to an end.
AND yes this book is based on Their True Story.
Thank you for a great book Joanne Lipman and Melanie Kupchynsky.
One important item left out - I was a winner of this book thru Goodreads.com.
The life of MR. K, born a Ukrainian, suffered greatly during WW11 but overcame these terrible hardships and became a Strings Music Teacher out of Murry State in Kentucky.
His life in Jersey was also full of hardships,a missing daughter, and his wife that was hospital bound.
I hated that this book came to an end.
AND yes this book is based on Their True Story.
Thank you for a great book Joanne Lipman and Melanie Kupchynsky.
One important item left out - I was a winner of this book thru Goodreads.com.
January 6, 2015
Strings Attached is a tribute to Melanie's father, Jerry Kupchynsky, her hard driving music teacher who was also Joanne's music teacher. He pushed them and inspired them and hundreds of other children in New Jersey to be better musicians than anyone anticipated. We follow their lives through childhood, music lessons, teen angst, music practices, family stresses, performances, nerd-hood, music competitions, college and careers.
Kupchynsky had a rough youth, growing up in the Ukraine during the Russian and German invasions. He toughened up his students and taught them to work. He was hard on them in a way that parents today would not approve, but his lessons and work ethic stayed with them.
Kupchynsky had a rough youth, growing up in the Ukraine during the Russian and German invasions. He toughened up his students and taught them to work. He was hard on them in a way that parents today would not approve, but his lessons and work ethic stayed with them.
December 2, 2013
This book is a crossroad of genres. The authors tend to insert much of their own story into this biography of Jerry Kupchynsky, a driven music instructor, but this is because "Mr. K" directly impacted their lives. As a team, the authors alternate their narratives, providing a three-dimensional portrait of Kupchynsky's life and the influence that his music lessons and life had on those around him. The depth they add to his story is not often seen in biographies.
If you are interested in reading about Kupchynsky's life, his struggles, his family, and how he overcame many obstacles, then this book is one you must pick up.
If you are interested in reading about Kupchynsky's life, his struggles, his family, and how he overcame many obstacles, then this book is one you must pick up.
October 18, 2014
Possibly the first biographical memoir written as an autobiographical duet that I've ever read, I picked this book up based on the recommendation of a British postcrosser. It exceeded my expectations, and I found myself reading long into the night to finish it in one sitting.
So many adjectives could be employed to describe this book: inspiring, captivating, heartbreaking, delightful, endearing, heartrending, triumphant, daunting, overcoming ...
Highly recommended. If you learned to play a musical instrument as a child (unlike me) then doubly recommended.
So many adjectives could be employed to describe this book: inspiring, captivating, heartbreaking, delightful, endearing, heartrending, triumphant, daunting, overcoming ...
Highly recommended. If you learned to play a musical instrument as a child (unlike me) then doubly recommended.
February 2, 2014
A wonderful memoir of an amazing musician and teacher; a terrible sad story of a family destroyed by physical deterioration and loss. Joyous in that it brought back the magic music played in my earlier life.
July 1, 2013
One of the best inspirational books on the power of expectations. Even though it looks like the end justifies the means, how else can you teach true confidence?
March 27, 2015
great story, inspiring, easy read
December 31, 2015
Nostalgic, inspiring, emotional. Reminded me of Mr. Holland's Opus in some ways. I loved this book!
September 27, 2014
Wonderful and inspiring story.
June 9, 2021
What I expected to read based on the title, tagline, and blurb, and what I did read, didn't quite match up. I'm not quite sure what to make of it either.
The narrative is something of a mess. The structure is lopsided, the pacing off. I kept thinking, a journalist who has led on so much big reporting should know a bit better. 250 pages of anecdotes and recollections traded between the authors (mostly of their own lives, a bit of when their lives intersected), and then the book barrels into the final 50 pages mostly leaving Mr K aside to give Lipman room to share the various travails she survived between quiet revisits to Melanie and her various losses.
I don't mean to diminish them. I'm just not quite sure where it all fits, how I'm supposed to feel as things jumble in to culminate, even for the askance tie-in of 9/11 and Mr K tied together by another erstwhile student's op-ed.
And with that, buried in that final 50-some page avalanche, revelations about Mr K's past (held off too long in the narrative), what happened to Stephanie (Mr K's other daughter who went missing--necessary to recount but both loomed hugely from the first page and then sort of diminished), illnesses and deaths and memorials and last-hurrah get togethers ... all get muddied. So much was crammed in that none were given space to breathe and make much of an impact or come to a focus point or culmination of "lessons." All of that deserved more room.
At least a cogent chapter each.
While, I think it can be argued, the teenage angst and growing pain years and later-in-life, life choices, could have been shortened considerably.
I really feel as if what Mr K endured to get to and then succeed in America, plus the string of losses and traumas at the end, and then the upswell of nostalgia at the very end gives it a bigger, and some false, sense of profundity that isn't actually grounded in the text, as-is. There in the wider story or granular parts? I think so. But it's not quite, therein.
The impression of Mr K is vivid, but he is only an impression. This isn't his story even though it's about him, and for him. It's the story of him through others' eyes. At least the last few pages pivots us into what made him a lasting and effective teacher for so many.
There's a mash-up of lessons too. Bootstraps, tough love, whiffs of 'political correctness now gone too far,' achieving dreams because of determination and grit, perseverance. None bad, none resonant for me. I dunno, I felt a bit like the fifth-wheel, nodding along with interest but no connection to stories cherished and important to those telling them without fully being able to draw me in.
I didn't warm to Lipman (she doesn't owe me that). I felt for Melanie and wanted more of her story--more of her father. It's a tribute and hazy memories shared around a dinner table and diary entries and a narrow slice of being the detective of someone's life -- although neither woman does the sleuthing. It didn't quite uplift or coalesce or teach its lesson to me.
The narrative is something of a mess. The structure is lopsided, the pacing off. I kept thinking, a journalist who has led on so much big reporting should know a bit better. 250 pages of anecdotes and recollections traded between the authors (mostly of their own lives, a bit of when their lives intersected), and then the book barrels into the final 50 pages mostly leaving Mr K aside to give Lipman room to share the various travails she survived between quiet revisits to Melanie and her various losses.
I don't mean to diminish them. I'm just not quite sure where it all fits, how I'm supposed to feel as things jumble in to culminate, even for the askance tie-in of 9/11 and Mr K tied together by another erstwhile student's op-ed.
And with that, buried in that final 50-some page avalanche, revelations about Mr K's past (held off too long in the narrative), what happened to Stephanie (Mr K's other daughter who went missing--necessary to recount but both loomed hugely from the first page and then sort of diminished), illnesses and deaths and memorials and last-hurrah get togethers ... all get muddied. So much was crammed in that none were given space to breathe and make much of an impact or come to a focus point or culmination of "lessons." All of that deserved more room.
At least a cogent chapter each.
While, I think it can be argued, the teenage angst and growing pain years and later-in-life, life choices, could have been shortened considerably.
I really feel as if what Mr K endured to get to and then succeed in America, plus the string of losses and traumas at the end, and then the upswell of nostalgia at the very end gives it a bigger, and some false, sense of profundity that isn't actually grounded in the text, as-is. There in the wider story or granular parts? I think so. But it's not quite, therein.
The impression of Mr K is vivid, but he is only an impression. This isn't his story even though it's about him, and for him. It's the story of him through others' eyes. At least the last few pages pivots us into what made him a lasting and effective teacher for so many.
There's a mash-up of lessons too. Bootstraps, tough love, whiffs of 'political correctness now gone too far,' achieving dreams because of determination and grit, perseverance. None bad, none resonant for me. I dunno, I felt a bit like the fifth-wheel, nodding along with interest but no connection to stories cherished and important to those telling them without fully being able to draw me in.
I didn't warm to Lipman (she doesn't owe me that). I felt for Melanie and wanted more of her story--more of her father. It's a tribute and hazy memories shared around a dinner table and diary entries and a narrow slice of being the detective of someone's life -- although neither woman does the sleuthing. It didn't quite uplift or coalesce or teach its lesson to me.
August 28, 2017
Jerry Kupchynsky saw and experienced firsthand extreme cruelty as a child during WWII in Europe. Hence, he probably laughed if someone told him, back when he was teaching, that it was cruel to shout things at his students, such as: "Who eez idiot who play wrong note?!" His students at the time probably received little sympathy at home if they complained about Mr. K.'s teaching method, too. As author Joanne Lipman noted, complaining to parents usually got the response of: "Life is not fair".
This was during the time period when parents were not their children's friends, and did not go rushing off to school to complain when their child's feelings were hurt. These children were the children and grandchildren of those who survived World Wars, the Depression, the Dust Bowl. Hurt feelings were not considered a paramount thing. Parents, grandparents, teachers all knew life could go from very good to very bad very quickly. Children needed to be smart, tough and resilient to make it in the world.
No one knew that better than Mr. K. When asked about his past, he wrote: "Having survived two wars and great tragedies in life, I learned to neutralize my emotions. Such strict discipline was indispensable to maintain my physical and intellectual existence. Circumstances have forced me to learn self-mastery!" That was what was paramount in his mind when he taught his students. His army of musicians, who were not often defeated and never allowed to quit trying. Marching forward at all times. Led by a leader who shouted and stomped and stormed. A leader who only wanted his children and his students to survive and excel in a world that could be very cruel.
Read this book for a great story. Read it so you can mourn or rejoice there are no longer any teachers like Jerry Kupchynsky in the school systems, depending on your viewpoint of strict, demanding teachers. Read it so you can ponder if children today, who are being taught their own feelings are the most important things in the world, will be able to survive if the world goes from very good to very bad; survive without hovering parents, without counselors available at every crisis, without computers and cell phones to stay constantly in touch with others. Are children today being taught that life is not fair, and that the world has no obligation whatsoever to treat them like sensitive little children forever?
(Note: I received a free ARC of this book from Amazon Vine.)
This was during the time period when parents were not their children's friends, and did not go rushing off to school to complain when their child's feelings were hurt. These children were the children and grandchildren of those who survived World Wars, the Depression, the Dust Bowl. Hurt feelings were not considered a paramount thing. Parents, grandparents, teachers all knew life could go from very good to very bad very quickly. Children needed to be smart, tough and resilient to make it in the world.
No one knew that better than Mr. K. When asked about his past, he wrote: "Having survived two wars and great tragedies in life, I learned to neutralize my emotions. Such strict discipline was indispensable to maintain my physical and intellectual existence. Circumstances have forced me to learn self-mastery!" That was what was paramount in his mind when he taught his students. His army of musicians, who were not often defeated and never allowed to quit trying. Marching forward at all times. Led by a leader who shouted and stomped and stormed. A leader who only wanted his children and his students to survive and excel in a world that could be very cruel.
Read this book for a great story. Read it so you can mourn or rejoice there are no longer any teachers like Jerry Kupchynsky in the school systems, depending on your viewpoint of strict, demanding teachers. Read it so you can ponder if children today, who are being taught their own feelings are the most important things in the world, will be able to survive if the world goes from very good to very bad; survive without hovering parents, without counselors available at every crisis, without computers and cell phones to stay constantly in touch with others. Are children today being taught that life is not fair, and that the world has no obligation whatsoever to treat them like sensitive little children forever?
(Note: I received a free ARC of this book from Amazon Vine.)
September 12, 2018
This biography was mostly interesting. I enjoyed learning of "Mr. Jerry", though I doubt I would have relished taking lessons from him. (It's not at all an ideal situation if you're scared of your teacher; a teacher that perpetually screams is nothing but a monster, at least in my opinion.) I have met teachers like Mr. Jerry, teachers who scream, teachers who supposedly believe that this screaming demonstrates their "high expectations". Such teachers don't care if they see a student cry, for the believe that crying is good for them. By allowing their student to cry they will encourage them to practice more and teach them to the important life lesson in bucking up. What utter hogwash!
Nevertheless, Jerry's humour, at least in group lessons, reminded me of one of my ballet teachers who was also a perfectionist but who differed from Mr. Jerry in being quite caring and kindhearted — she didn't make any of her students cry! I would not have lasted very long in Mr. Jerry's classes. I probably would have dropped out of music altogether if he was my entry-point into music or I may not have been granted entry at all! I find it hard to believe that at that time public schools in the U.S. determined who was eligible for music lessons via their responses to a career adaptability test.
I found that at least half of the material in this book about Mr. Jerry's daughter and and her friend (one of his viola students) could have been stricken entirely and more material provided on Mr. Jerry's life, especially how he came to master several instruments. His mastery was phenomenal, not only did he play wind and string instruments like countless K-12 music teachers but he passed along to his students the skills needed to play music at a very high level, and he did all this as a late musical bloomer. (Due to unfortunate life events, it was not until his freshman year at college that he was able to begin his musical studies.)
Nevertheless, Jerry's humour, at least in group lessons, reminded me of one of my ballet teachers who was also a perfectionist but who differed from Mr. Jerry in being quite caring and kindhearted — she didn't make any of her students cry! I would not have lasted very long in Mr. Jerry's classes. I probably would have dropped out of music altogether if he was my entry-point into music or I may not have been granted entry at all! I find it hard to believe that at that time public schools in the U.S. determined who was eligible for music lessons via their responses to a career adaptability test.
I found that at least half of the material in this book about Mr. Jerry's daughter and and her friend (one of his viola students) could have been stricken entirely and more material provided on Mr. Jerry's life, especially how he came to master several instruments. His mastery was phenomenal, not only did he play wind and string instruments like countless K-12 music teachers but he passed along to his students the skills needed to play music at a very high level, and he did all this as a late musical bloomer. (Due to unfortunate life events, it was not until his freshman year at college that he was able to begin his musical studies.)
May 17, 2017
I know most of the people in this book. My daughters learned cello from one of Mr. K's students who is featured in the book. What I did not know was the story of Jerry's (Mr. K) life. The story of surviving heartless regimes - think Hitler and Stalin; of coming to America as a refugee; of learning the violin in college and going on to conduct award-winning bands and orchestras; and, of his personal struggles to raise his two daughters when his wife became chronically ill and his younger daughter disappeared. As the authors point out, Jerry's teaching methods would probably have him thrown out of the profession today. But, all of them learned valuable life lessons they continue to live by whether they went on to perform professionally or haven't picked up their strings in years. The gift this man gave to the students of East Brunswick is immeasurable. The gift this story gave to me is to remember everyone has struggles that form them and the impact of one human life who shares a gift with others will not be denied despite those struggles.
January 9, 2025
*I received a copy through a First Reads giveaway*
This is a very inspirational story about a music teacher who held very high standards for his students. With such a no-nonsense teacher instructing them, you can bet that those standards were met! The story is told through the voices of Mr. K’s daughter and her friend, both students of Mr. K’s. They tell their stories so well that you almost feel like you are in the room with them listening to them tell you their accounts first hand. But this is not only the story of the girls and how Mr. K pushed them to be the best they could be. It’s Mr. K’s life story as well – puzzle pieces that provide a glimpse into why he did the things that he did. This is not just a book about music, it’s about setting goals and meeting them, seizing opportunities instead of taking them for granted, facing what comes your way with courage and dignity, and being a good friend. My favorite Mr. K quote: "Circumstances have forced me to learn self-mastery."
This is a very inspirational story about a music teacher who held very high standards for his students. With such a no-nonsense teacher instructing them, you can bet that those standards were met! The story is told through the voices of Mr. K’s daughter and her friend, both students of Mr. K’s. They tell their stories so well that you almost feel like you are in the room with them listening to them tell you their accounts first hand. But this is not only the story of the girls and how Mr. K pushed them to be the best they could be. It’s Mr. K’s life story as well – puzzle pieces that provide a glimpse into why he did the things that he did. This is not just a book about music, it’s about setting goals and meeting them, seizing opportunities instead of taking them for granted, facing what comes your way with courage and dignity, and being a good friend. My favorite Mr. K quote: "Circumstances have forced me to learn self-mastery."
November 30, 2018
I thought this would be a nice little fluff about an inspiring music teacher. It is so much more. Mr K goes on teaching, now, us the readers. We learn how a person can survive almost incomprehensible pain yet find a way to wrest value and meaning and produce goodness in the world. Music will be immeasurably more powerful in your life after reading this book. We need heroes in this world; Mr K. will always be one.
June 21, 2020
A book that shows deep insight into a Ukrainian, Mr K who with his mother starts a new life in America after WW2. He learns to play the violin and becomes one of the most fantastic violin teachers and orchestra directors in the small town of East Brunswick near New York. Written by his daughter and one of his many pupils it outlines the hardships and the successes he experiences in his chosen career. If you love music, you will love this book.
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