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The Boudoir Bible: The Uninhibited Sex Guide for Today
A comprehensive and instructional guide to the new sexual landscape, covering "new territories" such as bondage, role playing, and sex toys that would make your parents blush. Since the publication of The Joy of Sex in 1972, the sexual landscape’s boundaries have been expanded to include a host of practices that are unthinkable in that classic tome. Although it also covers the basics, The Boudoir Bible fills those niches missing from other sex guides nicely, with full, elaborated chapters on rope bondage, restraints of sound and sight, erotic flagellation, and the stimulation of new erogenous zones, among innumerable other offerings. Well-researched, The Boudoir Bible is written from a joyful, sex-positive point of view. Going beyond the "lovemaking" of older guides, this witty and uninhibited tome expands the sexual act to encompass "verboten" topics, with chapters entitled "The Genital Gym," "Nipple Tease," "Male Ejaculation Control," and "The Anthems of Anal Sex." Illustrated by the renowned artist François Berthoud, whose provocative creations have graced both Prada campaigns and museum exhibitions, The Boudoir Bible provides a fresh view of sexuality in the twenty-first century.
312 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2013
66 people are currently reading
552 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
January 14, 2024
An essential guidebook for the adventurous traveler, and a source of inspiration for us regular folk:-)
My positive response to this book is definitely due to several factors, the first of them being the fact that I grew up in the nineties, and thus absorbed the idea that STD prevention is a nonnegotiable element of any sexual encounter - something the author stresses throughout, alongside discussion of other safe sexual practices. (In my experience, this builds the trust between the author and the reader, as not stressing that might alienate the readers who are not familiar with or skeptical of the practices described in this book.) Secondly – my growing up at this specific point in time meant that when I left to study in the capital city, I encountered a lot of texts concerning BDSM – the ladies from the feminist library I was frequenting might have been surprised by a variety of books I loaned – and while my own everyday sexual practices are not far removed from the mainstream, I consider myself fairly well educated, and I do understand the concept of making sex the focal point of your life at least in theory, even though I don’t think this is a viable (or healthy) option for most people in the long run. But still, I get a sex-centered lifestyle more than I would a fashion-centered lifestyle (and less than I would an art-centered lifestyle, for that matter).
I mentioned the emphasis on safe practices as a very important element of creating a sense of trust in the reader. This is both understandable and important. First, Betony Vernon is not only a jewelry designer, but a sex coach with a long experience, helping people achieve “intimacy, wellness, uninhibited aesthetics and the dismantling of socio-cultural boundaries and taboos” (quote from her website). Given the nature of the practices described in the book – mostly the palatable side of BDSM – and the fact that the author wrote her guide not only for people in relationships, but also for people who seek one-night stands or sex workers working with clients they do not actually know, this emphasis on safety and sexual etiquette is key – also to stop us regular bread-eaters from judging our more adventurous brothers and sisters in sex.
Another thing that adds to the rather dreamy, esoteric quality of the book is the language Ms. Vernon uses throughout – she describes sex as a transcendental experience, which both piques the reader’s interest and creates a filter, making whipping, bondage and anal sex appear more tame to a novice reader. You can feel years of putting people at ease with their own sexuality in this book, especially if you listen to the audiobook, narrated by the author herself in her low, husky voice (she also is a certified hypnotherapist, and this shows!). I’m so glad I picked up an audiobook – this really added to the experience.
At the core of the book are the instructions for the Paradise Found sexual ceremony – or rather, slow, near-ceremonial sex so many of us wish we had the time, space and energy for. The author gives some very practical tips to create an experience that is isolated from the daily grind (hotel sex makes sense, especially if you book a room with a bathtub and put the rolled-up towel under the door), has a scenario (improvisation is overrated), and whose pace does not suffer from making many pauses. (Prepare some light refreshments and all the sex toys ahead of time and have them at hand. Avoid alcohol, not to mention drugs!) If you don’t live with your partner, call them the day after to see how they feel. And if there’s one takeaway you might leave this book with, it is to never, ever leave the restrained bottom alone.
All in all, a very useful, very inclusive, and deeply practical book from someone who knows very much about sex and the many problems it may cause, and guides you through a variety of situations.
My positive response to this book is definitely due to several factors, the first of them being the fact that I grew up in the nineties, and thus absorbed the idea that STD prevention is a nonnegotiable element of any sexual encounter - something the author stresses throughout, alongside discussion of other safe sexual practices. (In my experience, this builds the trust between the author and the reader, as not stressing that might alienate the readers who are not familiar with or skeptical of the practices described in this book.) Secondly – my growing up at this specific point in time meant that when I left to study in the capital city, I encountered a lot of texts concerning BDSM – the ladies from the feminist library I was frequenting might have been surprised by a variety of books I loaned – and while my own everyday sexual practices are not far removed from the mainstream, I consider myself fairly well educated, and I do understand the concept of making sex the focal point of your life at least in theory, even though I don’t think this is a viable (or healthy) option for most people in the long run. But still, I get a sex-centered lifestyle more than I would a fashion-centered lifestyle (and less than I would an art-centered lifestyle, for that matter).
I mentioned the emphasis on safe practices as a very important element of creating a sense of trust in the reader. This is both understandable and important. First, Betony Vernon is not only a jewelry designer, but a sex coach with a long experience, helping people achieve “intimacy, wellness, uninhibited aesthetics and the dismantling of socio-cultural boundaries and taboos” (quote from her website). Given the nature of the practices described in the book – mostly the palatable side of BDSM – and the fact that the author wrote her guide not only for people in relationships, but also for people who seek one-night stands or sex workers working with clients they do not actually know, this emphasis on safety and sexual etiquette is key – also to stop us regular bread-eaters from judging our more adventurous brothers and sisters in sex.
Another thing that adds to the rather dreamy, esoteric quality of the book is the language Ms. Vernon uses throughout – she describes sex as a transcendental experience, which both piques the reader’s interest and creates a filter, making whipping, bondage and anal sex appear more tame to a novice reader. You can feel years of putting people at ease with their own sexuality in this book, especially if you listen to the audiobook, narrated by the author herself in her low, husky voice (she also is a certified hypnotherapist, and this shows!). I’m so glad I picked up an audiobook – this really added to the experience.
At the core of the book are the instructions for the Paradise Found sexual ceremony – or rather, slow, near-ceremonial sex so many of us wish we had the time, space and energy for. The author gives some very practical tips to create an experience that is isolated from the daily grind (hotel sex makes sense, especially if you book a room with a bathtub and put the rolled-up towel under the door), has a scenario (improvisation is overrated), and whose pace does not suffer from making many pauses. (Prepare some light refreshments and all the sex toys ahead of time and have them at hand. Avoid alcohol, not to mention drugs!) If you don’t live with your partner, call them the day after to see how they feel. And if there’s one takeaway you might leave this book with, it is to never, ever leave the restrained bottom alone.
All in all, a very useful, very inclusive, and deeply practical book from someone who knows very much about sex and the many problems it may cause, and guides you through a variety of situations.
April 17, 2014
C'est un livre assez atypique, entre ésotérisme et guide pratique. On y trouvera des explications scientifiques sur les processus hormonaux et les mécanismes du cerveau activés par les rapports sexuels. On y trouvera aussi la vision très personnelle du sexe de l'auteure, a laquelle nous pouvons adhérer ou non. On y trouvera également des conseils pratiques, certains très clairs, passionnants, brisant des idées reçues et déconstruisant l'imaginaire BDSM de "l'homme de la rue" (je pense aux chapitres sur les contraintes et la stimulation de tout le corps, qui m'ont vraiment appris énormément de choses et ont complètement changé ma vision de ces pratiques) et d'autres choses un peu trop survolées justement. Néanmoins l'ensemble est polyvalent, intéressant a lire, bien écrit, et constitue une excellente source d'informations pour tous les types de sexualité et tous les genres (rien que pour ça, les 5 étoiles sont méritées...), avec beaucoup de conseils de santé (prévention contre la transmission des IST incluse). Une lecture très recommandable, pour tous.
November 16, 2023
Un livre très instructif sur l'univers de la sexualité, des relations sensuelles, érotiques, voir ésotériques, et celles plus atypiques incluant les pratiques soft BDSM.
J'ai cependant ressenti un agacement lors de sa lecture. Le nom de Cérémonie sexuelle Paradise Found ne me plaît pas, mais c'est personnel. Pourquoi mi français, mi anglais ? Ce qui m'agace d'un point de vue plus général c'est le fait que ce nom, cet objectif de plaisir partagé, d'extase ultime, de quasi perfection en duo est tellement sublimé et éthéré qu'on se demande finalement s'il est possible à atteindre. Disons que la barre est très haute.
Ceci étant dit, pour résumer, la Cérémonie sexuelle Paradise Found est la définition de la zone de complicité et d'intimité sexuelle qu'un couple se donne. L'auteure nous incite à explorer plus loin en respectant nos limites, et ça, c'est très bien. C'est disons... une version XXI siècle du Kama Sutra et de The Joy of Sex, par Alex Comfort (1972). Mais rien à voir avec Fifty Shades of Grey.
J'ai cependant ressenti un agacement lors de sa lecture. Le nom de Cérémonie sexuelle Paradise Found ne me plaît pas, mais c'est personnel. Pourquoi mi français, mi anglais ? Ce qui m'agace d'un point de vue plus général c'est le fait que ce nom, cet objectif de plaisir partagé, d'extase ultime, de quasi perfection en duo est tellement sublimé et éthéré qu'on se demande finalement s'il est possible à atteindre. Disons que la barre est très haute.
Ceci étant dit, pour résumer, la Cérémonie sexuelle Paradise Found est la définition de la zone de complicité et d'intimité sexuelle qu'un couple se donne. L'auteure nous incite à explorer plus loin en respectant nos limites, et ça, c'est très bien. C'est disons... une version XXI siècle du Kama Sutra et de The Joy of Sex, par Alex Comfort (1972). Mais rien à voir avec Fifty Shades of Grey.
September 24, 2019
A great reading to better understand how and why to rapidly change an usual boring and tightened perception of physical love.
February 4, 2023
Such a valuable read, a genuine and truth telling author. It took me 6 months, and I finished it on the day when I really needed to read that last chapter. Phenomenal.
March 30, 2023
Informative and recommend to all!
May 10, 2025
Beautiful illustrations & precious insights; thank you San Francisco Books in Paris
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews