Elders

by Ryan McIlvain

A glorious debut that T.C. Boyle calls "powerful and deeply moving" that follows two young Mormon missionaries in Brazil and their tense, peculiar friendship.

Elder McLeod—outspoken, surly, a brash American—is nearing the end of his mission in Brazil. For nearly two years he has spent his days studying the Bible and the Book of Mormon, knocking on doors, teaching missionary lessons—“experimenting on the word.” His new partner is Elder Passos, a devout, ambitious Brazilian who found salvation and solace in the church after his mother’s early death. The two men are at first suspicious of each other, and their work together is frustrating, fruitless. That changes when a beautiful woman and her husband offer the missionaries a chance to be heard, to put all of their practice to good use, to test the mettle of their faith.  But before they can bring the couple to baptism, they must confront their own long-held beliefs and doubts, and the simmering tensions at the heart of their friendship.

A novel of unsparing honesty and beauty, Elders announces Ryan McIlvain as a writer of enormous talent.

Genres: Fiction, Religion, Contemporary, Brazil, Faith, Audiobook, Book Club

304 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

Ryan McIlvain’s debut novel, Elders, was longlisted for the Center for Fiction’s First Novel Prize in 2013. His other work has appeared in The Paris Review, The Rumpus, Post Road, Tin House online, The Los Angeles Review of Books, and other venues, and has received honorable mention in The Best American Short Stories and The Best American Nonrequired Reading. McIlvain’s second novel, The Radicals, is due out in February. A former recipient of the Stegner Fellowship at Stanford, he now lives with his family in Florida, where he is an assistant professor of English at the University of Tampa.  

Reviews

[Jeanette (Ms. Feisty) · Rating 3 out of 5]

The plot isn't particularly compelling. It's a lot of mission-speak and knocking on doors and arguing over church doctrine. But McIlvain writes well, and the book is interesting if you look at it from a non-fiction perspective. Elder McLeod, the doubter, is probably a pretty close match for the author, who has left the Mormon church. So it's worth reading if you want to see one ex-Mormon's take on missionary life in Brazil.

If you're a practicing Mormon and you can't resist taking a peek to see what McIlvain has to say about your sacred traditions, just be aware there is some foul language and some sex talk. If you can tolerate that, it doesn't seem like there would be much you'd find objectionable, unless you're specifically looking for ways to be offended. It's not as if he set out to slam the church. It seems more like a fictionalized memoir of his own missionary experiences.

[Jessica Woodbury · Rating 5 out of 5]

I spent most of my life in the Mormon church. I'm also a serious reader. And it's always been strange to me that these two parts of my life didn't come together. There was simply no "good" Mormon fiction. There was bad fiction by Mormons for Mormons. There were a small number of successful Mormon authors who wrote fiction that had little to do with Mormons. But it was frustrating to realize that so many people couldn't tap into life as a Mormon the way you can with a good novel.

I never served a mission. But I've known hundreds of people who did and so much about this novel rang true to their experiences that I've heard recounted so many times. I felt McIlvain was very successful going back and forth between the two clashing companions, the well-off American McLeod and the newly converted Brazilian Passos. Their backgrounds are different, their cultures are different, but perhaps more importantly, so are their experiences with their faith.

Their efforts to be better are put to the test when they start teaching a couple: Josefina, who longs from the beginning to be a part of the Church, and Leandro, who is skeptical of the missionaries and the church's restrictions.

I'm not sure if Mormons will really embrace ELDERS the way I wish they would. The flaws of the young missionaries are not hidden. Masturbation in particular is dealt with frankly and this tends to be a subject that leaves members uncomfortable.

It's a shame because this is a beautifully written and starkly powerful book.

[Isaac Bourgeois · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was excited to find this title though the author's interview published in the SL Tribune. Fiction about Mormons has little legacy to stand on, with quality production mostly in film. There has been a fair amount of good fiction written by Mormons about other topics, and a stunningly famous body of work produced by a Mormon that is absolute shit (Stephanie Meyers' oeuvre). I was excited to see where this new offering landed.

"Elders" gives a provocative (seriously, that's the best word for it) look into the life and mind of a young Mormon struggling to find his place in a tradition that at times seems as foreign to him as the land he is 'serving' in. Given the author's background as a former Mormon and a former missionary, one feels that this book must be somewhat autobiographical. Coming from the same background myself, I appreciated seeing Mormon missionaries treated as real humans with doubts, desires, ambitions, and complex motivations. A lot of the interaction between the Elders seemed overdramatized compared to life, but I saw that mostly as a necessary evil for converting the content of the experience into a novel of readable length. I thought that the social background of each Elder was well delivered, with exposition interspersed throughout the book. You slowly gain a picture of what brought these two young men to such an unnatural and challenging situation.

My experience as a missionary was a fusion of both of these Elders'. Though a highly-driven, leader type, I also felt the pangs of doubt and serious misgivings about how "the work" was being conducted. Rampant corporatism, emotional manipulation, and an emphasis on sales techniques are intermixed with truly transcendent experiences as I forged human connections with people and discovered the "kingdom of God" that exists within each of us. McIlvain captures this messy smorgasbord of lived experience well, though some of the other characters end up as caricatures. There's the missionary who pines for his far-away sweetheart, the football-obsessed natives, the sanctimonious-business-asshole Mission President, the golden investigator, etc. Some of these tropes may not carry the same complete image that their mere suggestion holds for the author (or me), and a reader unfamiliar with this peculiar culture (Mormonism, not Brazil) might feel that the author does not develop the world of the novel fully enough.

The book ended a bit abruptly, though not unbelievably. I loved to see Elder McLeod own his decisions and his doubts. The book will leave many readers unsatisfied, feeling as though McIlvain ran out of time on his assignment and wrapped it up the night before it was due. McIlvain shows promise and I look forward to his next effort.

[Roger DeBlanck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ryan McIlvain’s debut novel Elders is a remarkably candid and wholehearted exploration of one young man’s spiritual crisis and another’s attempt to uphold the sanctity of Christ’s teachings. As a Mormon missionary planted in Carinha, Brazil, Elder Seth McLeod struggles to overcome the vacuous degree to which his beliefs have plummeted. His companion in proselytizing is Elder Passos, a young Brazilian who has found resolve in the ministry of the Lord. Passos has now embraced the calling to share the message of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The pairing of McLeod and Passos bristles with frustration and rears them into deeper personal turmoil with questions about who they are and what they believe in.

Although the story focuses on the difficulties of missionaries working to secure converts to the Mormon faith, this novel is not an indictment of any church or a condemnation of any specific belief system. Rather, it is an eye-opening account of the struggles certain individuals face when journeying down a rough path of self-discovery. What does one do when the soul is restless and must be set free? Does deprivation fuel rebelliousness? How does one find solace when faith is a battlefield of contradictions? Who decides the righteousness of morality? McIlvain handles sensitive content with the most honest and compassionate regard for addressing the plight of his characters. The narrative is superbly composed. The precision and refinement of the language make each page a joy to savor. The flashes of poeticism lend further credence to the artistry of the novel. McIlvain is the talented type of writer who I hope continues to push the boundaries of big ideas and deliver works that resonate long after the experience of reading them. Already I have begun the wait for his next work.

[Perry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. In all the years I've been reading and doing my small part to nurture fiction that is both Mormon and yet not constrained by the didacticism that seems to be an inherent part of insider Mormon art, I've hoped for a new Mormon aesthetics, one that is unafraid to embrace the internals of Mormon culture without needing to be in any way apologetic or protective (nor its reverse--something designed primarily to attack Mormon culture). As I wrote in the introduction to the short story collection I edited, In our Lovely Deseret: Mormon Fictions, I hoped to promote fiction that wasn't for or against the Mormon faith, but was truly merely about being in that space. McIlvain has come closer to that goal than any longform Mormon fiction I've ever read, and has done so on some of the most difficult Mormon turf: the mission.

Elders is the story of two Mormon missionaries in Brazil: one a doubting American who's struggling with the confines of missionary life and Mormonism and the other a straight-laced Brazilian who sees the missionary experience as both a spiritual and secular stepping stone to future success, but with plenty of doubts about the problems inherent in imperialistic American culture that pervades Mormonism.

Elders: A Novel is, in my view, a remarkable success, one of the few great achievements of Mormon letters, and I'm thrilled to see it arrive, and I'm hoping for more to come.

[reading is my hustle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This podcast led me to this book:
http://www.npr.org/2013/04/04/1761636...

The story itself is fairly anti-climatic and unsatisfying. A newly converted elder and a non-believer elder. As companions go, it was never going to work.

But the writing.
Oh, the writing.
And the details.

The little bits of information you get along the way. And what it means to live such an insular life. But. What if you do not believe? Where do you go? And who do you turn to? Not the president of your ward (what an airbag!). Not your parents (try harder, son! your doubts are not unique!). Not your fellow elders (keep it bible! pray more! BYU! Marriage! Finally, SEX!).

And so it goes.

[missy jean · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have spent so much time thinking about the complexities of writing about insular subcultures: the tricky line between losing an out-group reader in a sea of culturally-relevant lingo, and overexplaining details to the point of tedium. I think it's such a hard line to walk without coming across as a propagandist working explicitly in favor of or against the subculture in question. To my delight, I think McIlvain mostly walks the line in this novel. He manages to honor the complex humanity of individual characters (Mormon missionaries and Brazilians alike) while also assessing the homogenizing impact of an institution on the thoughts and behaviors of the characters. To put it less academically: It's a fun read, though many devout Mormons I know might not be big fans.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this is part of a Goodreads First Reads giveaway.

I'm so glad I did.

The book is both angry and nostalgic. That's the simplest way I can describe it. The pages seem to burn with remembrance (the writer himself is a former Mormon). The characters are fully developed and yet it seemed as if they were purposefully underdeveloped at times, as if even in their thoughts they were conscious of trying to put their best self out there, even if the best self they wanted the world to see was not the true self.

Yet, in most parts of the novel, the real self bled through: Passos is overeager, McLeod does not truly believe and questions the Mormon doctrine even as he tries to get others to join the church, and cannot wait to get the mission over with. Passos dreams of going to BYU and make a better life for his family in Brazil. McLeod doesn't quite know what he wants, but is certain he doesn't believe. Tensions build to a stunning conclusion.

This is hands down the best book I've read in years.

[Braeden Udy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Being a former LDS missionary myself, I don't really see how someone who did not serve a mission would enjoy this book. It is drenched with Missionary culture, lingo, and anxiety. Personally, I enjoyed Elders a lot. I could relate to many of the events, and especially the wide variety of characters McIlvain creates. At first, the prose was so strange and foreign to me. By the end though, I could see the beauty of it. My biggest complaint, the source of the three star rating, is that is was just so pessimistic. It had hopeful moments, and even when the characters would blunder or hurt one another, I had hope that it would resolve and there would be some sort of change in them. With regret, I felt it did not come to a satisfactory ending. I was left feeling so sad and helpless at the end, like the characters were entering a dark place and I wanted so badly to pull them out. Perhaps it is truthful though, and not every story wraps neat and tidy- I just felt like this one would.

[Josh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mixed bag. The character development and dialogue are incredible, but the story is a real downer. I thought Elder Passos was a really interesting character. He was really strengthened and fed by his faith, but he had some personal failings that he never quite overcame. Elder McLeod was pitiable and relatable at the beginning, but he became less so as the book progressed and he started to force himself into a downward spiral. Truthfully, he never should have been out on a mission in the first place. McLeod seemed to not only tease the worst characteristics out of himself, but to inspire un-Christian traits in everyone else. Like I said, a real downer. His behavior escalates out of control by the end of the book.

As a return missionary myself, I had really mixed feelings about this book. Some of the details of mission life helped me relive some nostalgic moments from years ago. My own mission experience was hard, but very rewarding. The author also brilliantly brings many social and political issues into a narrative structure in a way that resembles the writing of T.C. Boyle. There were some thought-provoking moments. But the end of the book was just depressing.

[Charly · Rating 3 out of 5]

The writing style was smooth and literary. The subject matter had inherent interest. The setting was fresh.

However, there were no strong female characters (indictment of McIlvain or the LDS Church?), and the misogyny is breathtaking. More damningly, the vulgarity was not only off-putting, it added nothing of literary value and broke every rule of verisimilitude. NO WAY Mormon boys drop f*** so casually, or at all, regardless of what they do. The cultural taboo is too strong. Sweeney is the most unlikable character in fiction.

Wallace Stegner said it best.

Regardless, unlike many reviewers, I loved Passos. Great, complex character, and a good person.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were things I loved about this, the biggest of which was probably the general novelty of a novel about Mormon missionaries without the baggage of faith-promoting intensions. I love books about mormons that aren't trying to build up the reader's testimony.

Elders does really well in a small space: it's the story of a companionship and not much else. The book feels controlled and purposeful, with no extraneous details. And the characters manage to be realistically immature (they are 20 years old after all) while also having deep, complex inner lives. It's a sad read that got me thinking about the opportunities for kindness and understanding that can float by so easily within our interpersonal relationships, and why sometimes it's so much easier to grab at a chance to be callous or cruel.

My only complaints are small and really are ideas for improvement rather than necessary fixes. I thought the dialogue flowed naturally... too naturally considering the fact that 90% of it is supposed to be taking place in Portuguese between a native speaker and a missionary. There were some distractingly anachronistic colloquialisms and idioms that I doubt have direct Portuguese translations. I wanted it to be more obvious that these people were not speaking Americanized English, but were speaking an unrelated language with its own quirks and subtleties.

A part of me also just wanted more from this book. I wanted more to happen, or for the things that did happen to be treated dramatically rather than stated in a matter-of-fact newsarticle-ish tone. Actually, come to think of it, I'm not sure whether I picked up that flat tone from the writing or the narrator. I didn't love the narrator. He needed some coaching in both Portuguese and Mormon terms. (I'm sorry, but it's not hard to research the pronunciation of a word like "Nephi.") And, as sometimes happens to me with audiobooks, the "voice" he gave Elder Passos contributed to my dislike for the character. I may have liked pedantic, sanctimonious Passos less than McLeod anyway, but the insincere, highly-pitched voice sealed the deal. Maybe that was intentional.

Overall, though, really a good read. I'd be curious to hear feedback from people I know who have served missions (especially missions in Brazil) though I would have to warn about the content. I suppose it's R-rated but I wouldn't call it gleefully sinful, if that makes any sense.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not Mormon. My father was a minister’s son. He had to go to both services, every Sunday. He never made us go to Church, rather emphasis was placed on actions in the world. Denomination didn’t matter either, nor even what, if any religion was chosen, rather- acts in the world. As a child- something about mission work struck me as wrong- didn’t people in other cultures have their own beliefs? I would write on my donation envelope- not to be used for mission work. I’m sincerely not meaning to offend those whose faith has them witness in this way. I’ve grown to understand that this exists. I don’t practice this and have a spiritual path which doesn’t- nor do I attempt to convert anyone.
This said, I was interested by the books premise and drawn into the story. I felt it echoed some of my childhood instincts about cultural clashes- even the converts to an “American” religion showed strong alienation to all things American. A young person of either culture/ one in economic despair, the other alienated and doubting are forced to co exist and attempt the nearly impossible task of door to door, unsolicited conversations. The task made more difficult when the entire family must be in accord- the Josephina tale a disaster.
It was but a page but the irony of admission to a wealthy home only to learn that the Elders were invited in to attempt their own conversion was not lost. They were outraged but couldn’t see the parallel with their own actions.
Ultimately- all were led to downfall by the overwhelming need to learn lessons through sacrificing more than- in my limited view- ought to be asked of those so young. I saw them struggling and fall in impossible tasks. It was heartbreaking.
Please forgive my limited understanding and take this review as the interpretation of an outsider. I’m not condemning a faith- I am responding to this story and admitting my bias regarding mission work. Thank you for bearing with my review.

[Alesa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This remarkable book follows two young Mormon missionaries -- one American, one Brazilian -- during their stint in a Brazilian town in 2002. Written with brutal emotional honesty, it asks a lot of tough questions, while maintaining an elegance of style and expression. I especially enjoyed:

* Learning details about the challenges of being a missionary in a Catholic country, where the local people have no interest in being converted;
* Reading abut all of the restrictions on Mormons during their mission experience, such as never having any alone time apart from their assigned "companion", not being able to watch TV or listen to a radio, having to wear their "uniform" most of the time, etc.;
* Great descriptions of a young person's struggle with the idea of faith and religious conviction, made more difficult by being away from their home and culture;
* Realistic portrayals of interpersonal challenges when thrown together with a stranger, day in and day out;
* A viewpoint character who converts to the LDS church because his mother died and he wants to be united with her in heaven, plus he sees the faith as a pathway to a better future, possibly in the US.

The American character battles with his crisis of faith, relationship with his father, sexuality, the control of the church, plus immersion in a foreign culture. He is a very believable and likable 20-year-old.

The plot contains plenty of twists and turns. I look forward to more books by this very talented author.

[Meg Elison · Rating 2 out of 5]

This will be a fun nostalgic read for anyone who served a mission in the LDS church. Anyone who didn't or hasn't heard all the stories will likely be a little lost. Despite the almost endless exposition, this novel manages to remain both puzzling and frustrating. McIlvain has the literary disease, which is to say that he writes stories that trap us with uninteresting people to whom nothing happens. Even the notable occasions of action are brushed aside by a style that refuses to involve itself with the visceral realities of poverty or lust or rage.

His portrayal of the church is fair and accurate, which is rare in an ex-mo. It's squeamish about the dishy parts of deep doctrine but drags us through the missionary discussions and the pamphlet on beating off nearly word for word. It conjures headless women to be the objects of lust and then serves them heartless lovers. It creates two dull missionaries out of the tissue of a teenage boy entrusted with too much.

There is promise here, and it's only McIlvain's first book. I read an interview in the LA Times where he lamented his many reader-directed rewrites; maybe he let them diffuse a powerful experience and weakened what this might have been. Overall, this is crafty, but disappointing.

[J.A. Carter-Winward · Rating 4 out of 5]

A poignant and compelling glimpse into the lives of Mormon missionaries as told by a Brazilian national and an American missionary thrown together for the last jag of their time in the field. The book outlines in subtle detail the economics of Mormonism, even in the mission field, and what role the Mormon Church plays in third world countries as a "great white hope" to people suffering in poverty and stagnation.

The relationship between the two missionaries was fantastic--socio-economics, politics, personal friction, the haves and the have-nots, these all play a vital role in what happens between these young men and portrays a stark picture of the complex dynamic created by each factor.

This novel is a subtle construct of class affiliation and religion, of the role the U.S. plays on the world stage, and of a young man who doesn't question because he has nothing, while another questions because he has it all.

[Snotchocheez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Let us presuppose that author Ryan McIlvain, given his intimate insider depiction of Mormon missionary work, provides a solid reading experience for Mormons (or at least one Mormons can relate to) in this tale of two Elders on a mission down in Brazil. The question remains (given the crossover endorsement of TC Boyle on the jacket): will this resonate with non-Mormons (like me?) Well...perhaps. If you can get past the painstaking, repetitive detail of the missionaries' lives, and have patience, the ending almost makes it worth slogging through the less-than-exciting minutiae of their daily "tracting" (recruitment and proselytization) runs through a land where Mormonism as a belief structure is anything but the norm.

[John Pappas · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful debut novel about faith, doubt and identity from a promising young author. McIlvain's eye for detail is amazingly astute and his ability to characterize the odd friendship of his two protagonists so deeply is profoundly affecting to the reader. The added political dimension, created through the use of the Mormon (a very American religion) mission to Brazil during the launch of the Iraq War and subsequent tension between the American missionary and his Brazilian friends, fellow missionaries and Brazilian citizens, begs questions about the role of America in the world in the 21st century. In a way, this is an excellent post-colonial novel. Fantastic.

[Alexa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Completely disappointing...

This book had the potential to tell a beautiful story of redemption but fell SHORT. It started out that way and then took some sickening turns. I only kept reading because I was hoping for better. Don’t waste your time.

[Bethany Yardy · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was... ok. I had total buy-in to this book. Coming-of-age, self-discovery, foundation-shifting, etc... Ultimately, at the end, I was left cold. Perhaps the overall bleakness was the point, but it didn't connect.

[Sabina Vanessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some may find this a very niche and particular book to pick up and I guess you could argue that it is. Not many are interested in the LDS faith and for those who know of it they simply think it is "weird" and "problematic," and in a lot of ways it is. However, as someone who is currently serving for two years in the Peace Corps I feel that I probably have a lot more in common with Mormon Missionaries than the average person. It often baffles me that I actually have a longer service commitment (27 months) than Mormons do (18 for women and 24 for men I believe). Even though I am not interested in becoming a Mormon, I feel that we could connect on a lot of things: being an outsider in a foreign country, experiencing homesickness and jadedness, explaining a mission/purpose to locals that might sound strange and scary to them (to clarify you do NOT proselytize when in the Peace Corps) so yeah, even though I'm different from Mormons in almost every way possible I have a heart for them and their experiences. I always wished I was better at communicating with those who knock on doors but I was always in the bad habit of just cutting the conversation short and turning them away so as not to get their hopes up about converting anyone. Maybe after the Peace Corps, I will feel more comfortable talking to them.
As for the book, it was pretty anti-climatic. But so, is one could argue, the life of Mormon Missionaries. You definitely see how their thoughts and whole way of being is programmed for the purpose of one mission. I most enjoyed reading about their connections with the local people of Brazil. I understand if not a lot of people are drawn to this book, but if it it piques your interest you may learn something new and it's a rather short book so why not?

[Malin Friess · Rating 1 out of 5]

A bizarre ficticious book indeed that I had no intention of reading if it were not resting on the recommended section of our public library book shelf.

Elder Mcleod is nearing the end of his 2 year mission in Brazil with the Mormon Church. After two years of knocking on doors (and having many closed in his face), giving memorized speeches, and finding some relief on P-day; Elder Meclod begins to question what he is doing. Just as his skepticism grows he is joined by a new religiously ambitious Brazilian companion that can never leave his side.

Mcleod near the end of the book becomes totally disaffected and somewhat sexually repressed (as he talks about in more graphic detail than needed masturbation and his time being seviced by a Brazilian prostitute..similar to the story of Holden Caufield in "Catcher in the Rye.")

Not surprisingly this book is written by a disaffected Mormon (Ryan McIlvain) who left the LDS church in his mid-20's and likely has a bone to pick with his former faith. Having grown up in Utah the majority of my friends became missionaries. Some of the themes of lost girlfriends on the mission field and longing to return to BYU were famililiar. Most missionaries I knew it seems have good experiences culturally and faith strengthening..although some became disenfranchised with this zealous form of evangelicalism (door knocking) and would have preferred a service oriented mission (more like that of the Peace Core).

A bizarre book in the end. I can't recommend it at all.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m giving “Elders” the benefit of the doubt, assigning a four-star rating instead of a three-star “meh”, as an interesting “coming of age”-ish novel. It peaked my curiosity about what a former Mormon might write and think of the difficult to comprehend two year “mandatory” proselytizing missions. I didn’t glean any new insights. I think that the moral dilemmas and cultural dichotomies are realistically portrayed.

[Sadie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't really know what to make of this book. I think it presents a somewhat accurate picture of what the missionary experience is like, I liked that it showed the struggle of knocking on doors and working to make converts. However, I was disappointed by the ending. It felt like the entire book took a turn and it just ended so randomly.

[Bruce McRae · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fact or Fiction

Well written, Well protracted, Well played. Solid characters. Excellent interactions. Dark, brooding, and human. An ending I wouldn't have chosen, but in retrospect the perfect end to a moving account. Puts a new spin on "the best two years of my life".

[Adrienne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book and there was plenty that resonated, but in the end frustration with the story, with the characters, with the possibly realistic, but nonetheless unsatisfying ending trumped all of my other feelings about the book.

[Patricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Come along with two Mormon elders on their mission in Brazil. McIlvain provides great descriptions of the day to day of a mission and the mental state of the two missionaries. I found the crisis point at the end to be rather cliched.

[Jeanine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well written, well crafted. Engaging and enjoyable to read, but about 3/4 of the way through, it started trending unsatisfying. The ending didn’t resonate with me, but maybe I’m not the intended audience.

[Lesley · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's ok. Too much churchy and mission-related stuff. I expected it to be more about internal struggles with spirituality.

[Valerie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dark and disappointing. This reads like the memoir of a disgraced and disgruntled missionary. This is a book that I wish I could unread!