Untangle Your Emotions: Naming What You Feel and Knowing What to Do About It

by Jennie Allen

How often have you heard, “Don’t let your emotions get the best of you”? But what if instead of ignoring our feelings, we notice them, name them, and let God use them to draw us closer to Himself and others?

Many of us need to unlearn damaging messages about our emotions. We’ve been taught, for example, that emotions are untrustworthy, when, in fact, God can use them to help us see where we need His healing. 

In Untangle Your Emotions, Jennie Allen uses scientific research, biblical insight, and her own story to help you 

● exchange stuffing, dismissing, or minimizing your emotions for a five-step process to know what you feel and what to do about it
● debunk the myth that feelings are sinful by learning how emotional maturity leads to deeper connection with God and others
● live emotionally healthy by applying biblical wisdom and therapeutic research that works whether you self-identify as “emotional” or not
● sit with feelings that are confusing and painful by discovering the depth of God’s love and compassion for you

Feelings aren’t something to fix; they are something to feel. As we discover how to name and navigate our emotions, we’ll learn how they can draw us closer to the God who built us—soul, mind, and heart.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Self Help, Faith, Mental Health, Christian Living, Audiobook

227 pages, Hardcover

First published February 13, 2024

About the author

Jennie Allen, Bible teacher, author, and the visionary behind IF:Gathering and Gather25, a 25-hour global prayer gathering. Driven by a deep love for God and an unyielding belief in the potential of this generation, Jennie's mission is to disciple a generation of Jesus followers to live what they believe.

Through her writing and teaching, Jennie seeks to convey a simple yet profound truth: God sees you, loves you, and invites you to play your part in His unfolding story. She has witnessed firsthand the miraculous work of Jesus when people fully surrender to Him.

Jennie is a passionate leader following God's call on her life to catalyze a generation to live what they believe. Jennie is the New York Times' best-selling author of Untangle Your Emotions, Find Your People and Get Out of Your Head. Jennie has a masters in Biblical Studies from Dallas Theological Seminary and lives in Dallas, Texas, with her husband, Zac, and their four children.

Reviews

[Jennifer Rae · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have really enjoyed Jennie Allen’s previous books and sermons at events such as IF:Gathering; and I deeply respect the work she is doing for the kingdom of God. I’m incredibly disappointed that I didn’t enjoy this latest read. I wanted to leave having gained greater understanding of how to untangle emotions, but felt it just barely hit the surface of emotions and advice we’re always given (I.e. “it’s okay to feel emotions”). Some of the illustrations were used in prior books and felt cringy, even though I’m sure she got permission from family/friends to use them. I wanted depth like her previous reads and didn’t feel that connection. Thank you Netgalley for the Advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Abbie Roberson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd like to start my review by saying that I think Allen's heart for this topic is so important. The American church has been known to belittle or even vilify emotions to a non-biblical extent. I'm rating this book 3 stars because I don't think there was anything inherently wrong in it. (Although I didn't love the use of the word "joy" as a starting point for all positive emotions but... semantics.)

Unfortunately I found this book promising lots and delivering little. I kept waiting for new revelations from the content, but it all felt very basic. There was also little scripture to be found for the points that were made. While I agreed with a lot of what she said, I can not think of a new concept I learned or new perspective I was shown.

There were multiple times in this book that Jennie mentions wishing she should have a cup of coffee with the reader to hear their story in relation to the topic at hand. With this, I think she illustrates the problem I had with this book, that it is too broad and surface-level to invite much conversation or deep thought. Overall, I think it would have made a much better podcast subject or long-form essay.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book. However in full disclosure I decided to wait until the audiobook was available to listen.

[Olivia | Liv's Library · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will return to Jennie’s books again & again for the rest of my life! This will be one of them. It was very healing & validating for me in so many ways. ♥️

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

My therapist recommended this book to me and I loved every minute. The author gave me a better understanding of emotions with a biblical lens. Good reminders that our emotions are never sinful, but what we do with them can be. I have loved being able to bring my emotions to God more frequently, knowing that each of them connects me to him. “Joy connects us to God, giver of all the good stuff. Fear connects us to God, our safe place. Anger connects us to God, our avenger. Sadness connects us to God, our God who understands rejection.”

[Jeff Colston · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honestly…I felt like this lacked depth. I’m more of a feeler, and I feel like this was maybe geared more towards people who don’t feel enough, so maybe that’s why I just didn’t get as much out of it?

I think that her steps were pretty solid and there wasn’t anything glaringly unhelpful. I certainly felt encouraged and reminded of Biblical truths about emotions, but most of the time I felt like it was pretty shallow and lacked meat for an entire book.

You might love it! Just didn’t do it for me.

[Jenny Baker · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐

[Carly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first heard of this book and author upon watching the Candace Cameron Bure podcast. I loved the episodes with Jennie so much, and I'm glad I didn't skip reading this life-changing, super practical, and biblically supported bomb of a book.
It was such a journey reading this with my Mom. We were both balling our eyes out (especially in the beginning), and I was so wowed by the relatability and perspective she brought to this. As someone (like most people) with trauma, this was so eye opening as Jennie outlined how our emotions are connectors to God and one another, and how each emotion is a unique way to let God work in us. We always have a choice in what we do with all of our emotions, and they are not sins in and of themselves unless we act on them negatively. It's no joke that this book has seriously changed my life, my relationship with God, and my relationships with my family. Lots of note taking commenced while reading, which is generally not something I do unless it's THAT GOOD. I highly highly highly recommend reading this: it couldn't be more timely or well-needed for the times we find ourselves in and in a society so overwhelmed and inundated with mental health crises and so many voices on what to do with it all. Jennie goes to the Bible with candid truth and practical advice. This filled my soul and grew my spiritual muscles a million-fold. Here's to being more real and vulnerable with God, our people, and to becoming more emotionally healthy for future generations!❤❤❤

[Cole Pate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fantastic book! I’m not much of a feelings guy and neither was Jennie before she started working on this book. She is a “fixer” and I definitely am as well. She discussed how we can have more emotional maturity for those who wear their emotions on their sleeves, those who bottle them all up, and everyone in between. I would highly recommend this book to everyone!

[Jackie Herrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been a long time Jennie Allen fan - she always speaks on topics that are exactly what I need! I loved Find Your People, and I was really excited to read this one too. Jennie’s writing is a conversational style, and she details how to feel your emotions instead of avoiding them. This would be a good book for someone who is just starting to dive into this, but for myself it felt a little too beginner compared to her other books. I would still recommend this one but in the future would like to see books from her that are a little deeper!

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

[clara roark · Rating 5 out of 5]

great starting place to introduce christians who might be scared of therapy or emotions to a healthy biblical approach to feelings!! excited to see the false and unbiblical approach to emotions of former generations slowly begin to unravel as christians begin to trust Christ with all of their feelings, not just the ones they think are “okay”.

[Aimee Mattazaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

I may have highlighted the majority of the book. I have read almost all of Jennie’s books & I think this is my new favorite! An important read. I will be sharing it with family, friends & clients.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Untangle Your Emotions is a book I wish I had when I began my own journey of navigating emotional turmoil. Like Jennie, I realized I had the emotional vocabulary of a toddler and I did not know how to differentiate between emotional states. I voraciously read anything and everything to teach me all I needed to know about emotions. Like Jennie, I too am a fixer and my coping strategy of choice is getting thoroughly educated on the problem needing solving. This book does not offer a doctorate level dissertation on navigating your emotions, but it is so approachable and compassionate its message sinks in deeply and touches the tender places needing healing. Additionally, it does so from a Christian framework which is something I desperately longed for but had a hard time finding.

I also appreciated her nuanced approach to mental wellbeing. She opens the book by pointing out that in some cases, untangling emotional baggage will require the need of a professional; she then easily and casually shares that she has engaged the help of a counselor and encourages friends and family to do the same. This message is so needed. Counselors and therapists are incredible heroes, but employing the help of one is such a stigmatized topic in Christian circles that it makes it hard to be vulnerable and open to needing a therapist. She approaches brain health in the way that I’ve come learn to approach it- as a part of the body that can be both injured and healed from trauma which is a message of hope that can sometimes be hard to find. Accepting that injuries are real is necessary for some to begin the hard work of finding the right provider to treat the problem. Finding professional care for trauma was out of the scope of this book, but I appreciated the time and attention she gave to de stigmatizing the need of a therapist.

Her framework for learning how to feel is elementary, but this is such a young topic to explore within the church, that elementary education may be exactly what the church needs right now. She mentions briefly looking for other similar resources and coming up blank. I have also looked and while I am pleased that there are more Christian based options for mental health healing today than when she started writing this book, she is correct. This topic has been largely left alone by theologians past. She mentions this book was written for all people, but I am not convinced men will relate to it quite as well as a woman might given that many of her stories are told from a woman’s POV. That’s not to say there’s nothing valuable for a man to glean from this book, I just am not sure that it will speak to men as effectively as to women.

She ended the book with a section on the kinds of ways we can support our mental health physically to resource your brains healing and processing capacity: drinking water, getting proper nutrition, moving your body, feeling connected to your people (feeling emotions in connection), sleeping, etc. I am glad she had this section included because it is so important to resource your brain when so much healing can sometimes be necessary. I wish this chapter was placed before the emotional processing section because knowing there IS something tangible we can do to care for ourselves well would have been an encouragement before embarking on the sometimes scary, sometimes confusing - sometimes it even feels downright imaginary - process of learning emotions.

I’d like to thank Waterbrook & Multnomah and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Annalee Peters · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like what Jennie Allen has tried to do in this book-helping us realize emotions aren’t bad. I only wish she had added more scripture and it was a more theologically sound rather than sticking a verse here and there to support her experiences. I kind of felt like I was reading the same stories over and over. I do like the steps of noticing, naming, feeling, sharing and choosing. I’ll be honest though, this felt like more of a self help book I’d pull off any shelf than a totally Biblically and Christ centered book. I see Allen falling more into actual emotionalism in her teachings and her writings as of late. More “fluff” than anything. The book could have simply been half of what was written. I know this sounds off putting but the book is decent and worth the read but don’t expect a lot of Bible based theology behind any of it. Expect more of this is what happened to me so it could happen to you. I have this 4 stars in light of the fact that you can take these principles she lays out and apply them and they are good. Really. I have been a Jennie Allen follower for years and this one fell a bit flat for me because I need more sound doctrine from her. Will I start sitting and naming my feelings more? Maybe. I hope so. I just feel “scratchy” about this one. Sorry Jennie. I still love you.

[Madison Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!!! I feel like this book was written for me. It’s like Jennie was having a conversation directly with me. I resonate so much with the fixer attitude. I also am one to suppress and hide my emotions. It is something I am actively working on, so reading this book came at a perfect time.
One thing she talked about that really hit home for me was that anxiety is not a result of lack of faith. It is a struggle as a Christian not to feel ashamed when experiencing anxiety or depression because so often people are told it is due to a lack of faith, but to hear her declare it as not true, using many examples from scripture, is so reassuring and exactly what so many people need to hear.
I felt so seen reading this book, and also relieved to know I’m not the only one who struggles making sense of my emotions.
Thank you NetGalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah for the opportunity to read this book before it is released.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an enjoyable book. I found it practical and useful. I only give it four stars because it felt very repetitive for most of the book.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed listening to the audiobook although I would’ve been more inclined to implement action steps if I was reading the physical copy. This book does a good job of exploring the role that emotions play in our walk with the Lord and how to navigate what you feel and why.

[Jessica Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely some good nuggets to take away and brought light to things about myself I couldn’t put words to! Some parts felt like filler words just to make the book longer, but overall I enjoyed it and thankful for the parts I needed to hear!

[Crosby Cobb · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this! It’s compassionate, practical, and super accessible. There were some places where I personally wish Allen would have dove a bit deeper, but, overall, it’s a great introduction to the importance of emotional health in the lives of Christians. I’m hopeful that the book’s content combined with the author’s popularity will lead to more conversations about the importance of feeling, naming, and processing our feelings (because God designed us to feel!) rather than suppressing, judging, or avoiding them. I’d recommend it to any believer who thinks counseling is great for other people but not necessary for them (i.e., myself before I finally went to counseling and actually had my life changed [love you 5ever Queen Libby]), anyone who sometimes views emotions as getting in the way of their thinking and doing (i.e., me again), and anyone who desires a more integrated and rich life (i.e., me and I think everyone).

[Sam Files · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jennie writes this book from her experience meeting with a counselor and her own research/journey of trying to learn about her own feelings. Jennie shares a lot that she has experienced personally in the last few years in regards to her emotions (fear of losing her husband, feeling abandoned by her daughter wanting to move, etc)- I think that people will really relate to her personal story parts of the book. She shares not only her experiences, but her friends/family/coworkers experience with feelings too (her husbands long struggle with depression). Overall she offers general advice and insight to readers on how to walk through what you may be feeling- notice, name, feel, share, and choose. She also shares big four emotions and how they could be playing out in your life with good questions to ask yourself. I loved her learned experience of sharing feelings within community and how they learned to be present and listening with their responses instead of fixing each other (ex: responding with "I feel ______" instead of "I think ______" when someone has just shared something with you.

I think this would be a good intro book for those who have no idea where to start with navigating their feelings (mainly negative feelings as is this books focus- even though she talks about Joy very briefly). This book is more conversational about her life/learns than research- though some quotes and data are sprinkled in there. I appreciated her mention of focusing on physical health as well as your mental health- not just one or the other.


tbh wish it would have included more scripture. Main spiritual theme/takeaway for readers is "God created feelings and expressed feelings so we should view them as good."


Thank you NetGalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Book will be available on 2/13/24!

[Madeline Beardsley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had a hard time knowing what to rate this and maybe it’s because I had an internal battle the entire time I was reading it. So much I agree with because the church is really bad at letting people express their feelings sometimes. However, I did find this book pretty repetitive and awfully similar but not as good as Get Out of Your Head which is also by Jennie Allen. I technically give this 3.5 starts but rounded up for Goodreads.

Thank you to WaterBrook & Multnomah and Netgalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

[Laura Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for ALL people. Why? Because we all feel. If you’re like me, you grew up in church hearing things like, “the heart is deceptive” and “our emotions cannot be trusted”. I love how plainly Jennie points her readers to moments throughout Scripture where we see God (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) express emotion. A perfect Creator… feeling emotions just like you and I do: joy, grief, anger, and fear.
The entire premise of this book poses this question: what if instead of expending our energy on ignoring or pushing through our emotions, we noticed them, named them, and allowed the Lord to use them to draw us nearer to Him and to others?
What this book is not: It is not a substitute for God’s Word. Don’t take Jennie’s word as ultimate truth. Open up the Bible, and allow THE Truth to shape you & change you.
This book is also not a substitute for professional counseling. While Jennie speaks a good word, she is not a licensed therapist. There are seasons where you might need more than this book offers & that’s OKAY.
What this book is: A starting point. Jennie’s five-step process sets a foundation for those of us still minimizing and/or altogether dismissing our emotions to learn how to identify our feelings and know what to do with them thereafter.
This is one I’ll keep coming back to throughout my life. I am forever grateful for a God that created us with feelings to connect us — spiritually, emotionally, physically — to Him.

Believer or not, I feel this is an important read you can benefit from too.
If you haven’t met Jesus, you’ll get to know more about Him in this book & I think you’re really going to like Him🤍

[Steph Werner · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED this one. So many practical concepts I had never heard or considered when it comes to emotions and their purpose in our lives. In the church we just talk about feelings being sinful or unimportant. My favorite concept that Jennie touches on is, “emotions are meant to CONNECT us with God and with others. When we deprive ourselves of feeling emotions, we deprive ourselves from an opportunity to connect to God/others” I’ve never thought of emotions this way. I’ve always thought, deny deny deny emotions. I’m already implementing strategies she’s suggested and it feels life changing. 🫶🏼

[Lauren Daugherty · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so good!!!! I love how Jennie shared her personal stories but also related a lot of it to the gospel!

[Ky · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.6 - I was actually surprised that I enjoyed this. Very helpful for people who struggle to process and understand emotions. I really appreciated all of the scripture and biblical connections. Super simple. nothing revolutionary! lovely

[Caitlin]

picked this up on a whim with no idea how perfectly timely it would be for me 😌 (planning to get a physical copy soon so I can mark it all up hehe)

[Miriam Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing! I have seen some mixed reviews about it, and I think I figured out why. This isn't a book that you can just read and consume the information. The depth of this book is in the application of what she shares.
I went through it with several friends over the course of 4-ish months and it was such a challenge. Jennie provides discussion questions, Journaling prompts, scripture and a podcast, so no matter how you learn, there are resources available to help you on your journey. So good!!

[Kendall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would give it 6 stars if I could ❤️

[Mary Jo Boruta (Busching) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh- a little too self-helpy for me. But there were nuggets of wisdom I wrote down. Maybe this message would have been a better essay or instagram reel than an entire book?

[Cassie West · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars for me! As a fixer and someone who is afraid to feel and name my emotions, this book was written for me. Jennie Allen gave words to feelings and emotions I was unable to name or feel. This book has so many practical yet simple answers to such complicated ideas. Emotions to so many can feel heavy, burdened, too much but Jennie shares why God made emotions and why they are a vital part of life in all ways (Physically, spiritually, mentally). Her steps of naming, feeling and sharing with others is what I needed to hear on my journey from always needing to fix instead of feel. I love how she continues to repeat in her writing that emotions are what connect us to God and connects us to others. This book challenged me to share my feelings first over my thoughts. It challenges me to ask how people feel verse what they think. While reading the book I could already see how her words on emotions has made me rethink my relationships to become deeper and more meaningful. I have a feeling that I will read this book again, very soon. #netgalley

Thank you to NetGalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah for the opportunity to read this book and give my honest review!

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I so appreciated Jennie Allen’s vulnerability in writing this book. It felt like she went to therapy, began learning to live a full, free, and fluent emotional life, and thought, “Everybody needs to know this stuff even if they can’t get to therapy!” I give two thumbs up to the idea of making the benefits of therapy more accessible to more people! That said, I already pretty regularly notice, name, and share my emotions, so while I was able to practice that as I was reading, I didn’t have very many new “aha” moments for myself. However, I could see this book being a great conversation starter to connect with friends & family about their own emotional journeys and inner lives.