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How to Pray When You're Pissed at God: Or Anyone Else for That Matter
When things really go wrong, what do you do with the feeling that God is to blame? A popular Coast to Coast radio host (and Episcopal clergy) provides some answers. In a first of its kind book, Ian Punnett provides a spiritual path for expressing your rawest emotions through prayer and how to rebuild a relationship with one's higher power--or anybody else in your life.
In this important and practical book, Ian Punnett provides insight on feeling anger and resentment toward God and offers advice on how to deal with the pain and blame that accompanies these emotions. In a book that is edgy, timely, funny and compassionate, Punnett presents real help in everyday language for transforming the negativity of anger into a positive and useful force that will ultimately help us pray more effectively, bring us closer to God, enhance our spiritual relationship, and change the way we live and love others.
After a divorce, a broken friendship, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or even the accumulation of all the tiny cracks in our spirit from life's disappointments, it’s easy to feel pissed at God. When anger is left unchecked, it is harmful to our minds, bodies and souls.
“How to Pray When You’re Pissed at God is not “the last word” on angry prayer,” Punnett writes, “but it might be the first words you have ever heard on the topic. By the end of the book, it is my hope that you’ll understand the role of anger in our lives, the benefit of honest prayer, and the need for honest, angry prayer in the lives of the faithful and faithless.”
In this important and practical book, Ian Punnett provides insight on feeling anger and resentment toward God and offers advice on how to deal with the pain and blame that accompanies these emotions. In a book that is edgy, timely, funny and compassionate, Punnett presents real help in everyday language for transforming the negativity of anger into a positive and useful force that will ultimately help us pray more effectively, bring us closer to God, enhance our spiritual relationship, and change the way we live and love others.
After a divorce, a broken friendship, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or even the accumulation of all the tiny cracks in our spirit from life's disappointments, it’s easy to feel pissed at God. When anger is left unchecked, it is harmful to our minds, bodies and souls.
“How to Pray When You’re Pissed at God is not “the last word” on angry prayer,” Punnett writes, “but it might be the first words you have ever heard on the topic. By the end of the book, it is my hope that you’ll understand the role of anger in our lives, the benefit of honest prayer, and the need for honest, angry prayer in the lives of the faithful and faithless.”
192 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2013
26 people are currently reading
188 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
February 11, 2017
Written like a friendly and loving conversation, this is a grace centered discussion giving you permission to be angry at God, and how to incorporate that into your prayer life. Punnett shows the long biblical tradition of angry prayers, as well as highlights the psychological and physiological benefits of dealing with anger in a healthy and spiritual manner. For those who grew up with a staid and stale sense of spirituality that believes that being holy is equivalent with being positive at all times, this is a welcome correction
December 24, 2023
News of Punnett's recent and unexpected death prompted me to read one of his books, the only one I could download on Libby.
Punnett, as intelligent and nimble minded as he has been as a radio host on Coast to Coast AM, writes in the same style. Brief excursions to seemingly unrelated territory return to his thesis enlarging and its perspective. That said, his angry prayers in Chapter 8 can be verbose. With anger comes a bit of tedious tirade and the inevitable rant. In some circles I think these prayers would be called praying with authority, more traditional and the forcefulness would be provided by the speakers tone. But they get the job done.
Well done, Ian. I wish you had time to write a few more volumes.
Punnett, as intelligent and nimble minded as he has been as a radio host on Coast to Coast AM, writes in the same style. Brief excursions to seemingly unrelated territory return to his thesis enlarging and its perspective. That said, his angry prayers in Chapter 8 can be verbose. With anger comes a bit of tedious tirade and the inevitable rant. In some circles I think these prayers would be called praying with authority, more traditional and the forcefulness would be provided by the speakers tone. But they get the job done.
Well done, Ian. I wish you had time to write a few more volumes.
November 25, 2021
Well this was a kick ass little read. Dr Ackerman it's an out of the box psychologist hired to help a young patient named Anne. He actually has to help her hate Jewish people and get angry. Even though he's Jewish. He's also gay and falls for step on the cook. Which makes it more interesting. It turns out Adolf Hitler is in charge of the whole operation. Fritz is his assistant and muscle. So he and Fritz force a good doctor to make Anne angry. It's a very controlled environment. It also turns out that Anne is actually Anne Frank. They used her DNA and some ashes to bring her back. Now she has special abilities to make fire. And they want to use her for another genocide. Well she can also talk to people in their minds so her and the good doctor plan their escape. This was a quick read but really good. Thoroughly enjoyed it. And what's better than Hitler getting burned to a crisp?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 22, 2020
Worth a Read
Half is really great. 1/4 is people’s prayers, 1/4 is psalms. Overall a great read. Highly recommend. I appreciate the openness and challenge to discuss anger and how we are to deal with it.
Half is really great. 1/4 is people’s prayers, 1/4 is psalms. Overall a great read. Highly recommend. I appreciate the openness and challenge to discuss anger and how we are to deal with it.
August 31, 2022
This was pretty good. I just wish there was a bit that discussed the philosophical dilemma of the problem of evil. When people have a crisis, they ask “Where is God?” So, I think a discussion would useful to those reading it.
April 2, 2023
If the title of this book makes you angry, that’s okay. One of the main arguments of the book is that anger is a healthy emotion, if it is dealt with in a healthy way. So free to say, “I feel angry when I see vulgar language used in a religious context”. You know, say it in the phraseology that therapists use. What? Using the stilled jargon of psychiatry is sometimes not satisfying way to express anger? Yeah, well, that’s another argument that Ian Punnett makes in this short, but helpful book about prayer.
Though Punnett is ordained in the Episcopal Church and he writes in the acknowledgements that “the main intention of this book was to honor God” it is not strictly a Christian book. He wanted to write a book about the appropriateness and benefit of angry prayer for everyone, even atheists and agnostics. He cites medical studies that show that prayer and meditation are healthy and other studies that show healthy expressions of anger are healthy and argues that therefore anyone could benefit from expressing their anger through prayer.
I found it interesting that though he thinks angry prayers are helpful to all, he also mentions that Islam has no place for such prayers. The Koran notes Job was righteous, but doesn’t say anything about his railing against God. The angry Psalms are not a part of the Koran. But angry prayer is a rich part of the Jewish tradition and Punnett interview various rabbis that make that point.
Punnett also makes it clear that anger can be very unhealthy, in fact dangerous, when it is misdirected or is habitual. One of the reasons expressing anger in prayer is important is that it may allow us to move one from our anger. If we are angry about something that takes place in the workplace, it is not healthy to kick the dog or yell at our children or even kick the children and yell at our dog. The healthy response is to stand up for ourselves in a respectful manner at the workplace AND bring our anger before God who can handle it better than dogs and children.
One of the best features of the book is the use of the Psalms from Scripture as a model for praying out our anger. Punnett writes about an experience from his days as a hospital chaplain. A mother asked Punnett to help her son stuck in a hospital bed to “turn to God”. Punnett talked to the boy, and found that the boy was not thrilled with not sick and not being able to play with his friends and especially with the hospital needles. Punnett assured the boy that there were times Jesus wasn’t pleased with His situation either. He taught the boy the words, "Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani?" (“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”) And the boy found strength in shouting out those words when he was given a shot (the nurses hated it.)
Punnett has a wonderful section where is reworked Psalms for people in different situations, such as “An Angry Prayer for Somebody Suffering with Depression During the Holidays” and “An Angry Prayer for a Victim of Bullying by the More Popular Kids”. I did think though that he overdoes it in using the violent language of the Psalms (the knocking the teeth out kind of stuff.) It makes sense for the angry prayers about street gangs and child abusers, but not so much for the angry prayers for those who cut you off in traffic or make campaign commercials.
Oh, and I wasn’t too keen on the title when I first saw it on the shelf, after reading the book I came to see that the “Pissed” was not gratuitous. Punnett makes that case that some pretty harsh language can be found in Scripture and that sometimes people need to pray freely without worrying about their vocabulary. I think he’s right when he says that God can take it.
Though Punnett is ordained in the Episcopal Church and he writes in the acknowledgements that “the main intention of this book was to honor God” it is not strictly a Christian book. He wanted to write a book about the appropriateness and benefit of angry prayer for everyone, even atheists and agnostics. He cites medical studies that show that prayer and meditation are healthy and other studies that show healthy expressions of anger are healthy and argues that therefore anyone could benefit from expressing their anger through prayer.
I found it interesting that though he thinks angry prayers are helpful to all, he also mentions that Islam has no place for such prayers. The Koran notes Job was righteous, but doesn’t say anything about his railing against God. The angry Psalms are not a part of the Koran. But angry prayer is a rich part of the Jewish tradition and Punnett interview various rabbis that make that point.
Punnett also makes it clear that anger can be very unhealthy, in fact dangerous, when it is misdirected or is habitual. One of the reasons expressing anger in prayer is important is that it may allow us to move one from our anger. If we are angry about something that takes place in the workplace, it is not healthy to kick the dog or yell at our children or even kick the children and yell at our dog. The healthy response is to stand up for ourselves in a respectful manner at the workplace AND bring our anger before God who can handle it better than dogs and children.
One of the best features of the book is the use of the Psalms from Scripture as a model for praying out our anger. Punnett writes about an experience from his days as a hospital chaplain. A mother asked Punnett to help her son stuck in a hospital bed to “turn to God”. Punnett talked to the boy, and found that the boy was not thrilled with not sick and not being able to play with his friends and especially with the hospital needles. Punnett assured the boy that there were times Jesus wasn’t pleased with His situation either. He taught the boy the words, "Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani?" (“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”) And the boy found strength in shouting out those words when he was given a shot (the nurses hated it.)
Punnett has a wonderful section where is reworked Psalms for people in different situations, such as “An Angry Prayer for Somebody Suffering with Depression During the Holidays” and “An Angry Prayer for a Victim of Bullying by the More Popular Kids”. I did think though that he overdoes it in using the violent language of the Psalms (the knocking the teeth out kind of stuff.) It makes sense for the angry prayers about street gangs and child abusers, but not so much for the angry prayers for those who cut you off in traffic or make campaign commercials.
Oh, and I wasn’t too keen on the title when I first saw it on the shelf, after reading the book I came to see that the “Pissed” was not gratuitous. Punnett makes that case that some pretty harsh language can be found in Scripture and that sometimes people need to pray freely without worrying about their vocabulary. I think he’s right when he says that God can take it.
July 19, 2013
ARC provided by NetGalley
One of the things I struggle with a lot when talking to God is how do I talk to him when I'm angry, when I'm pissed off that just when things seem to be going well the rug is jerked out from under me? And while I've ranted some at him, it always feels like the wrong thing to do. But in this book Ian Punnett talks about how not only is ranting at God in your prayer a good and healthy thing for your life, the Bible actually tells you how. Pulling from multiple sources from all areas of life, Ian leads us on a journey of how people from the Old and New Testaments shouted out to God when they were angry.
Ian writes as if he's sitting there talking with us, as if we're close friends instead of an author/reader relationship, which makes it easier to understand what he's saying. He shares his own experiences with counseling others with their anger and dealing with his own. So instead of like so many other books where the authors just seem to be spouting some new philosophy that they don't believe in, Ian practices what he preaches. The one problem with the book is that Ian sometimes quotes others too much, instead of just letting his own words and experiences do the talking. While the quotes are relevant it is a bit annoying to see such large passages at times.
Overall though this is a great read and one that I'll come back to multiple times. I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars.
One of the things I struggle with a lot when talking to God is how do I talk to him when I'm angry, when I'm pissed off that just when things seem to be going well the rug is jerked out from under me? And while I've ranted some at him, it always feels like the wrong thing to do. But in this book Ian Punnett talks about how not only is ranting at God in your prayer a good and healthy thing for your life, the Bible actually tells you how. Pulling from multiple sources from all areas of life, Ian leads us on a journey of how people from the Old and New Testaments shouted out to God when they were angry.
Ian writes as if he's sitting there talking with us, as if we're close friends instead of an author/reader relationship, which makes it easier to understand what he's saying. He shares his own experiences with counseling others with their anger and dealing with his own. So instead of like so many other books where the authors just seem to be spouting some new philosophy that they don't believe in, Ian practices what he preaches. The one problem with the book is that Ian sometimes quotes others too much, instead of just letting his own words and experiences do the talking. While the quotes are relevant it is a bit annoying to see such large passages at times.
Overall though this is a great read and one that I'll come back to multiple times. I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars.
June 15, 2014
This book was transformative for me! Ian Punnett has given me a completely new perspective toward the book of Psalms. His philosophy opened a way for me to look back on my often tenuous relationship with the Creator and reconsile some events; as well as giving tips on how to structure prayer when you need to "have it out" with God. Mr. Punnett uses a blend of biographical tales and case studies from his theological training to craft a solid thesis. I wish this book had been written back when I needed it most, and I am Thankful to God for inspiring this book now. Better late than never, Abba!
If you are looking to improve your relationship the The Almighty, read this book.
If you've ever had a crisis of Faith, read this book.
If your Faith will be tested in the future (don't think it can't happen), read this book.
If you are looking to improve your relationship the The Almighty, read this book.
If you've ever had a crisis of Faith, read this book.
If your Faith will be tested in the future (don't think it can't happen), read this book.
May 26, 2013
How do you pray when pissed? Pray your pissed-ness, Punnett says, using the Psalms as a guide. I'm paraphrasing, but that's his idea, and a good one it is! And he doesn't mean the "God-deliver-me-from-my-pissed-ness" sort of prayer, but the Psalm 22, "Hey-God-Why-the-f**k-have-you-vamoosed-on-me?!" sort of prayer-rant. (Again, these are my words, not Punnett's. Or the NEV--Newheart Earthy Version--of David's words, which Jesus quoted on the cross.) (Please understand that I'm not saying that Jesus used the NEV, nor am I saying that it was David rather than the editor of the Psalms, nor am I saying that it was Jesus rather than Mark putting it into Jesus' mouth. . . . Anyway, you get the idea. If you don't, get the book!)
November 26, 2014
The Biblical examples Mr. Punnett uses are in the Psalms. The template of angry prayer he uses (name-proclaim-reframe) is useful. I was introduced to the science of neurotheology, the study of the effects of faith on the brain, which I will explore further. Mr. Punnett warns readers not to place too much focus on cursing enemies, as it may actually happen, but the example prayers he used in the book seem to be more about cursing enemies than focusing on God. They also seemed whiny and selfish.
However, the prayers included from a website run by Mr. Punnett are very raw and shows the pain of people pleading to hear from God. Some were difficult to read. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to express their true feelings to God, but are afraid too.
However, the prayers included from a website run by Mr. Punnett are very raw and shows the pain of people pleading to hear from God. Some were difficult to read. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to express their true feelings to God, but are afraid too.
February 16, 2016
If a title makes me laugh, it's probably a good book. This one did not disappoint.
The tone is surprisingly lighthearted, considering the subject matter. The author is frank and speaks in everyday language. The ideas are relevant to everyone - from the person who never goes to church to the most dedicated theologian.
After my much-wanted pregnancy ended in miscarriage, I was furious with God and His plan. This book validated my anger as part of the human experience and assured me that expressing this anger through prayer was actually healthy for my relationship with the Lord. After all, yelling may not be pleasant, but it is still communication.
The tone is surprisingly lighthearted, considering the subject matter. The author is frank and speaks in everyday language. The ideas are relevant to everyone - from the person who never goes to church to the most dedicated theologian.
After my much-wanted pregnancy ended in miscarriage, I was furious with God and His plan. This book validated my anger as part of the human experience and assured me that expressing this anger through prayer was actually healthy for my relationship with the Lord. After all, yelling may not be pleasant, but it is still communication.
July 18, 2013
This is a really fast read, but so profound. I got this book from the library, but I know I'm going to buy it asap because this is one of those books that you go back to repeatedly for advice. This book made me laugh and made me think. I recommend it to Christians and non-Christians alike. I feel like everyone can relate, and even if you don't pray to God or Jesus, you can still benefit from having a rich prayer life to a higher power or even a higher sense of self.
December 13, 2013
Very useful. I was going through an incredibly rough time last year and probably because of my upbringing, I didn't let myself get angry about any of it. This book reminded me that it's okay to be open with God about your feelings when you pray, even if you're angry, even if you're questioning. It brought home one of my old theology professor's favorite sayings: "Your arms are too short to box with God."
May 7, 2014
I actually learned a few things from this book, which is always a good thing. I had no idea about the "angry prayers" in the Bible. And even tho I've always felt that God understood when we're angry, the way in which the author explained this made me feel a lot better about it. This is one I just might have to purchase.
February 9, 2015
Mad at God? Why Not? Ian Punnett gives you both humorous and serious hints at how to work things out with God when you just can't understand why she would have allowed bad things to happened to you and to people you love.
This small book is large on helpful insights into your relationships with God and with others who try to live by God's commands. Well worth the read.
This small book is large on helpful insights into your relationships with God and with others who try to live by God's commands. Well worth the read.
July 14, 2014
Witty and crass yet oh-so-serious about being in an honest relationship with God, this book is simply fantastic. As a theology major at a fairly conservative school, there's one or two issues I disagree with him on, but not a big deal. As a normal person with anger and sadness and frustration, Ian Punnett nails exactly where I'm at in needing to be real with God.
May 7, 2013
Amazing book. It answered a lot of questions and made me feel better about being angry with God. Plus I love the reference to the song "I Pray For You" It is one of my favorite songs !! Because I have prayed a flower pot would fall on someone's head before
September 3, 2013
I have listened to Ian on the radio and was surprised to see this side of him. I appreciated his journey down the path of not knowing what to do when you are angry with good. The book gets a bit long and 3/4 of the way I slowed in reading. Good, easy read.
December 11, 2013
I know God wants to hear from me no matter what. But what u really enjoyed was how he related verses to today.
December 27, 2013
great and passionate argument for praying honestly, which might mean, at some times, angrily. While I loved the book, I thought that the anonymous angry prayers were heart-rending, too.
January 31, 2014
Quick read from a very down-to-earth Episcopal clergy. Valuable lessons.
August 25, 2014
Picked this up to help guide my 15 year old through something and not only did I learn from it, I recommended to a few friends since.
February 2, 2015
I found comfort in the parallels drawn to the psalms. We don't have to pretend everything is rosy. God can handle honesty.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews