I Do and I Don't: A History of Marriage in the Movies

by Jeanine Basinger

From one of our leading film historians and a brilliantly researched, irresistibly witty, delightfully illustrated examination of “the marriage movie”; what it is (or isn’t) and what it has to tell us about the movies—and ourselves.As long as there have been feature movies there have been marriage movies, and yet Hollywood has always been cautious about how to label them—perhaps because, unlike any other genre of film, the marriage movie resonates directly with the experience of almost every adult coming to see it. Here is “happily ever after”—except when things aren't happy, and when “ever after” is abruptly terminated by divorce, tragedy . . . or even murder. With her large-hearted understanding of how movies—and audiences—work, Jeanine Basinger traces the many ways Hollywood has tussled with this tricky subject, explicating the relationships of countless marriages from Blondie and Dagwood to the heartrending couple in the Iranian A Separation, from Tracy and Hepburn to Laurel and Hardy (a marriage if ever there was one) to Coach and his wife in Friday Night Lights. A treasure trove of insight and sympathy, illustrated with scores of wonderfully telling movie stills, posters, and ads.

Genres: Film, Nonfiction, History, Media Tie In, Biography

685 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

Jeanine Basinger holds a BS and MS from South Dakota State University. She is a film historian, professor of Film Studies at Wesleyan University and curator and founder of The Cinema Archives at Wesleyan University. In addition, she is a trustee emeritus of the American Film Institute, a member of the Steering Committee of the National Center for Film and Video Preservation, and one of the Board of Advisors for the Association of Independent Video and Filmmakers.

She has appeared in several movie-related documentaries and completed audio commentaries on about a dozen classic films.

Reviews

[Dan Lalande · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jeanine Basinger is the least probing of contemporary film writers - and the most fun (with sincerest apologies to Anthony Lane) Despite a solid reputation as a Film Studies prof, what her books uniformly offer is a light sprinkling of cinematic history, lengthy plot descriptions, a nod to film marketing, and a cursory look at the movies as a reflection of their audience. Not for her the Freudian biographies, semiotic morasses and referential criss-crosses of her brethren. The redemptive quality of these books is her tone; in spite of her academic label, Basinger writes with the infectious infatuation of a film-struck 14 year old (albeit, one from the mid 40's and early 50's.) So here we have a lightweight writer on, by her own admission, a lightweight subject: wedlock a la Hollywood, a condition the industry deemed boring from the days of Edison. Needless to say, this is one circumstance where Basinger's voice is, alas, not enough. "I Do and I Don't"? I don't!

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Marriage,” said Eddie Cantor, long wed to his Ida and the parent of five daughters, “is not a word. It’s a sentence.”

This is a fun read for old movie lovers. That's lovers of old movies, not movie lovers who are old. As a fan of romantic comedies and dramas, women's films, and movies with families, I was amazed at the depth and breadth of the knowledge displayed by the author. Or at least her research capabilities. There were a few minor inaccuracies (Scarlet O'Hara did not have 4 husbands in the novel [but she did have 3 children!]) It was a lot of fun to revisit so many of my old favorites, both important classics and the little known or forgotten. Some of the stand-out pieces in my view were the comparisons between the 3 versions of The Painted Veil, Lucy and Ricky, Friday Night Lights, her attention to the movies of the great Doris Day, Carole Lombard, Myrna Loy, Irene Dunne... gee the list goes on and on. I don't think she neglected any movie that marriage was a focus. The book combines a scholarly bent with a sense of humor and irreverent asides and comments. If a reader is not familiar with the movies discussed, and I venture a lot of readers would not be, the book would probably become tedious, but for me there was a treat on almost every page.

https://rebekahsreadingsandwatchings....

[Dasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this book's analysis of marriage in movies and the differing ways it's been represented. The silent film era's focus on the marriage as a get away and the discontent both men and women experienced in the marriages was something I didn't expect from early films. Basinger's writing style makes the collection highly accessible as well.

[Kaion · Rating 1 out of 5]

1. Conceptually flawed: Basinger seems to think marriage has to be defined by boredom and domesticity. This disqualifies movies such as The Thin Man, because who wants to see films which portray couples that actually enjoy each other's company and/or are not largely concerned with housework.

Actually her criteria for "marriage films" is highly inconsistent and basically amounts to "I recognize my marriage in this depiction." The discourse largely continues on this level.


2. Structurally flawed: What structure? Basinger tackles the films she wants to talk about when she wants to talk about them. She offers little in the way of analysis or synthesis, and much in the way of plot summary. This might be okay if you just want to hear about classic-era Hollywood films. Except for the minor detail that I Do and I Don't is also--


3. Factually flawed: On the very first page, her first error occurs; The Marriage Playground (1929) was an early sound film, not a silent. Of course, in this early sound era, a silent version would have also been distributed for movie theaters that had not undergone the costly conversion. So perhaps this is mere misrepresentation.

However, she fudges more important details as well. Adam's Rib is a late screwball in which a pair of married lawyers, played by Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn, face off in the courtroom in a case that becomes a firestorm for the battle of the sexes. Good luck making sense of that from Basinger's description; she mistakenly says that Tracy's character is the judge in the case, not the prosecutor! Rating: 1 star

[Rachel M · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was the basis of a Cousera course I took by Jeanine Basinger. I only have armchair (or should I say theater-chair) experience in film studies, but it was a blast to follow her recommendations and hunt for some of the obscure (and less obscure) films she named throughout the book.

I was fascinated by the various tropes of the marriage films, such as the "We're not really married" marriage movie (in which the couple finds out that for some interesting reason, their marriage isn't truly valid, and they get to explore why they married in the first place). Or, the "What happened?" type of marriage movie, which portrays a couple whose marriage is in danger and they then need to look back and figure out where they went wrong.

It was also interesting to see how marriage movies evolved, from movies in the 30s which presented a problem, or series of problems, that were resolved in the end - or the marriage movie of the 40s, which was often concerned with women living alone on the homefront while their husbands were at war. By the 70s and 80s, resolving marriage problems in the film became less important than portraying the paradoxical nature of marriage, and asking open-ended questions about it.

This book was a compelling amalgam of topics - how marriage is and has been perceived and lived, the evolution of American culture since films, how the film industry itself has evolved, and how culture has been shaped by film.

[Sally · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a very disappointing book. Although Basinger has seen a lot of movies and has great enthusiasm for them, the analysis that she applies and the conclusions that she comes to are very superficial. At the start she bemoans the fact that there are hardly any movies that are billed as "marriage" movies. She then discusses lots of movies as marriage movies but her definition keeps changing depending on the point she wants to make. At times she's very concerned with the time period in which the movie is made and at other times she blithely jumps among decades if it suits her purpose better. One of the most annoying aspects of her analysis is that she tends to reduce marriage movies to a need for sex, done in a winking sort of way that is very reductive. In the later part of the book, although the topic is marriage in the movies, she discusses television, especially series of the 1950s and 1960s, such as I Love Lucy and Ozzie and Harriet . I kept reading since there were some references to films I didn't know and there were some thoughtful discussions of films such as Dodsworth and The Marrying Kind , but in general I was more annoyed than enlightened.

[Nancy Loe · Rating 2 out of 5]

Perhaps I would have been more disposed toward this effort of Basinger's if her introduction hadn't gone on and on about no one but her being able to cite movies about marriage. We get it: you're a cinema historian maven and more erudite than us all. Her other books do not seem to have this unappealing flaw.

Normally, I'd be drinking in Basinger's every word, but there are two problems:

1. Her definition of what constitutes a movie about marriage (too narrow and thus movies with more subtext about marital relationships are excluded) and,

2. Glaring omissions, e.g. The Catered Affair and I gave up mentally noting others as I read.

Stanley Cavell's Pursuits of Happiness: The Hollywood Comedy of Remarriage remains the seminal book on this topic. Molly Haskell's work on film and feminism has more insight.

Still admire you, Dr. Basinger, but less pedantry please.

[Linda Belmont · Rating 2 out of 5]

I must briefly comment that as a serious movie buff, I found this to be a very large book consisting of a lot of obvious statements about marriage in the movies. Think about it, how many films can you think of that don't contain at least one married couple? Some are happy, some are miserable, etc., etc. In addition, as an avid fan of "I Love Lucy," the error where the author states that Lucy burned the nose of William Holden was glaring. How many other errors did the book contain? (She burned her own false nose while trying to disguise herself.) There are many movies mentioned that I have never seen or even heard of, so I had to skip those sections because they were meaningless to me. Sorry, but I really did not enjoy most of this book.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's a little disingenuousness (?) to her early shock (shock, I tell you!) that studios and industry publications did not have a set category for "marriage movies." I bet they didn't have a category for "baby" or "house-buying" movies either. Nonetheless, this was a fair look at how marriage - and its companion, divorce - have been portrayed through the history of film, with a side excursion to marriage on TV - where, shocker!, a more nuanced approach is possible. Frankly, I think she wrote this book as an excuse to discuss the marriage of the Taylors on "Friday Night Lights" - long live Coach and Mrs. Coach!

[Stacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and am appreciative that it brought some lesser known old movies to my attention. I'll be hunting those down to see them. I was puzzled that so much attention was paid to television in a book about movies, especially the focus on the "Friday Night Lights" couple. There were also some plot description errors--a minor point, but annoying if the reader is familiar with the movie. Still, it was a fun read and I would recommend it to fans of movies, especially those of films of the "golden age".

[Angela · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to be able to finish this book because I do love the topic but it was just a boring read. The chapters are just way to long and the topics in the chapters are way to broad. The author has a great idea but did not execute it well. If the examples of each point would have been summarized better and the actual examples were limited to just a couple it would have been so much easier to read. I love old movies and did find the points well though of but they just were not written in a concise manner

[Robin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Basinger makes her point about marriage in films in the first 100 pages. After that, she discusses a dozen or so films which support her point. About 200 pages in, most people would get the point, and, unless you were taking a class about the history of marriage in movies (such as an online course which, not suprisingly, is taught by Jeanine Basinger herself), unless this book was the syllabus for that course (which it is), there's really no reason to read the next 200+ pages. I'd rather see the movies, some of which are just not particularly good movies other than they support her point.

Okay read.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting and some intelligent comments about the portrayal of men, women and sex in the movies. Her comments about why so called romcoms today fail totally is right on. However, she misses the fact that the majority of actors paired in these so called romantic comedies have no chemistry at all on the screen. They are put together by huge agencies for the most money not whether they are right for the parts. Consequently the movies tend to be boring, flat and about as romantic as a three day old fish.

[Shay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although not perfectly scholarly, I Do And I Don’t is not your average work of popular non-fiction either. Those without a strong interest in either film history or cultural representations of marriage will be likely to find the long lists of examples extremely tedious. Film buffs on the other hand, will come away with a long list of movies worth watching. Read More

[Mara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I walked away from this book able to list a TON of movies that deal with marriage in some shape or form, but without any really meaningful insights into those movies--Basinger doesn't seem to have a compelling thesis statement or argument. She clearly does really enjoy movies, though, and the experience is a bit like casually chatting with a friend who enjoys telling you all about the odd movies she's seen.

[Keara · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was really excited about this book. I usually find books about movies very interesting. I enjoyed previous Basinger's previous books. This was just awful. There was no clear thesis. The book consisted mostly of recapping movie plots, which got boring after a while. I gave up trying to finish it after two weeks.

[Joan Roe · Rating 3 out of 5]

When the author spends the introduction whinging about how unwieldy the topic is, you have a pretty good idea of what you're in for - a mess. Which this was. But it was a mess made out of stuff that I like (old movies), and that the author seems to really like, too. Not a profitable read, but a pleasant one.

[Patty · Rating 2 out of 5]

Whew. Finally finished this one. Parts of it were interesting and JB is an excellent writer as well as a very smart woman, but the topic here was probably worth only about 150 pages and not 350. Not to mention the fact that it really leaves one with a depressing concept of marriage altogether.

[Alexis Braun · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love the movies written about in this book, so I was surprised by how intensely I disliked it. Jeanine Basinger's book lacked focus and a clear purpose. The book reads like unconnected plot descriptions of hundreds of films. All I got out of reading it was a list of films to see.

[Liz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Can never finish Basinger books no matter how much I want to. They are so thick and the print is so tiny. Wish she would break them into volumes.

[Rose Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

I did not enjoy this book as much as I did her other books, the Star Machine and the one she wrote about silent films.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed it, in a superficial way. I just didn't find it nearly as insightful as earlier Basinger books I've read.

[Carolyn Di Leo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad, but hardly enthralling. I did find a few movies that I will put on my list for future viewing. All in all, not one of my favorite film books.

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Usually I eat up books about Hollywood like candy, especially old Hollywood, so when I saw a gorgeous photo of two of my favorite stars on the cover, I couldn't pass this one up. Unfortunately, this book was so hard to plow through that I set it down several times, and basically had to force myself to finish it.
That isn't to say there aren't some interesting parts, but the author made the mistake of not only doing exhaustive research, but PUTTING ALL OF IT INTO THE BOOK! Instead of discussing the best "marriage movies" and maybe, for contrast, some of the worst or most controversial, she forces the reader to read synopses and analysis of every single movie she could come up with that fit somehow under that category, including movies that even she admits are mediocre or forgettable. If she wanted to show off how many movies she knows of, it would have been better to list them all in the index, and only discuss the most interesting or important ones in the actual text.

For a while, I was trying how to imagine how the author could have watched so many movies in one life time, not to mention the time she spent writing about them. Considering the quality (or lack of) many of the movies, I actually felt sorry for her wasting so much time on them. Then I read that she researched many of them in old magazines, etc. Ah! Which still makes me wonder why she thought we needed to read so many details about so many of them that we have never heard of and will never see (for good reason).

The second problem is one that Basinger also admits up front: the topic of a "marriage movie" just isn't that interesting. If she had written a more concise book that focused on only the interesting or worthwhile movies, she might have succeeded in convincing me otherwise. However because she threw in so many movies of doubtful quality, droning on and on about the same points over and over with each example, she failed to do so (even though one of my favorite films, The Philadelphia Story, probably qualifies as a "marriage movie").
That said, I have to give this book three stars because Basinger obviously worked so darned hard on it that she deserves at least that much for her efforts.

[Frank · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although not the best of Ms. Basinger's books, there's enough of her insights and wit to makes this an enjoyable read, particularly in part two, which represents the bulk of her thinking about the depiction of marriage in Golden Age Hollywood (with some interesting side trips to contemporary and international films). Part three, on more recent depictions of marriage is all over the place, which represents her conclusion that the ultimate message of movies about marriage is that it's a mystery. It's a good source for fascinating films to see, however, and mostly an entertaining read.

[Darla Ebert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what a thorough book, both in interest-level and in the sheer detail, opinion and over-the-top research. This author has so many spot-on observations. I was in awe. This book is a must-have for anyone interested in old movies and their churned-out (over and over again) formulaic stories. There are some epic variables especially in the best of the movies. But the author cites both sides, both the plusses and the tired-routines. Amazing book!

[Michelle Ule · Rating 3 out of 5]

When the author admits there's no point to this375+ page book, it's a bit silly to even bother.

But, it was interesting to turn the pages, dip into story lines, and make note of old movies that might be worth watching some boring day.

Otherwise, enjoy the pictures and forget the rest--even though Basinger is a good writer with some interesting insights, there's just not much to say.

[Malcolm Davis · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author is a professor of film studies and has clearly seen a great many films.She synopsis them in support of her idea of marriage moviex.Thankfully she writes in a fairly open and non academic manner.
The problem is that after about 150 pages it becomes rather boring.I wasn't able to go beyond page 309.

[Magnus Stanke · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nah, I couldn't get into this. While the concept of a 'marriage' film was new to me, and intriguing, I thought the execution was all too dry and uninvolving

[Jeri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh. More descriptive than analytical.. personally, I think it would have done better to focus on a few movies of each type. What you read while you’re waiting for the next book from Mark Harris