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Don't Change Them; Grow Them: The 8-Minute Coaching Guide to Activate the Growth Potential in Any Personality Type, Leader, Family, and Team
Sometimes people are like wet wood. The more you try to light a fire under them, the more smoke you get in your eyes.
Even the most skillful coach, counselor, parent, teacher, or pastor knows the sting of pushback. It burns like smoke in our eyes when someone shuts down or lashes out at our best efforts to help them. We are up against the number one barrier to growth:
People don't grow when they think someone is trying to change them.
Thankfully, there is a way around this obstacle—discovering and working with each person's God-given design instead of against it. And it doesn't take hours to figure out what makes them tick!
In only 8 minutes, you can find
- the three critical dimensions of any personality type—even in the most stubborn or eccentric individuals, complex teams, or hurting families, and
- a tailor-made, done-for-you Coaching Guide to bring anyone to maturity at their own pace and along their own pathway.
In Don't Change Them; Grow Them, Hettie Brittz and Annatjie van Zyl introduce the Tall Trees Coaching approach and a brand-new, life-giving language for personality and growth. Chapter by chapter, you'll
- exchange confusion and frustration for delight in the uniqueness of people
- learn how to liberate children, teens, yourself, and other adults from limiting labels
- master four levels of coaching to enrich any individual or relationship in six essential growth areas, and
- find your place in the Tall Trees community that doesn't change people but helps them grow in line with their brilliant design.
Hettie Brittz is a certified life coach, author, and keynote speaker. Annatjie is a credentialed trainer, facilitator, and pastoral counselor. They co-founded Tall Trees Profiles and have trained hundreds of Tall Trees Coaches worldwide.
Anyone in the fields of coaching, teaching, counseling, parenting, or leadership development and those interested in personality models such as the Enneagram, the Big Five, DiSC, Strengthsfinder, and temperament types will enjoy the accuracy and practical application of the 8-Minute Coaching guide.
Read less
Even the most skillful coach, counselor, parent, teacher, or pastor knows the sting of pushback. It burns like smoke in our eyes when someone shuts down or lashes out at our best efforts to help them. We are up against the number one barrier to growth:
People don't grow when they think someone is trying to change them.
Thankfully, there is a way around this obstacle—discovering and working with each person's God-given design instead of against it. And it doesn't take hours to figure out what makes them tick!
In only 8 minutes, you can find
- the three critical dimensions of any personality type—even in the most stubborn or eccentric individuals, complex teams, or hurting families, and
- a tailor-made, done-for-you Coaching Guide to bring anyone to maturity at their own pace and along their own pathway.
In Don't Change Them; Grow Them, Hettie Brittz and Annatjie van Zyl introduce the Tall Trees Coaching approach and a brand-new, life-giving language for personality and growth. Chapter by chapter, you'll
- exchange confusion and frustration for delight in the uniqueness of people
- learn how to liberate children, teens, yourself, and other adults from limiting labels
- master four levels of coaching to enrich any individual or relationship in six essential growth areas, and
- find your place in the Tall Trees community that doesn't change people but helps them grow in line with their brilliant design.
Hettie Brittz is a certified life coach, author, and keynote speaker. Annatjie is a credentialed trainer, facilitator, and pastoral counselor. They co-founded Tall Trees Profiles and have trained hundreds of Tall Trees Coaches worldwide.
Anyone in the fields of coaching, teaching, counseling, parenting, or leadership development and those interested in personality models such as the Enneagram, the Big Five, DiSC, Strengthsfinder, and temperament types will enjoy the accuracy and practical application of the 8-Minute Coaching guide.
Read less
295 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 20, 2023
19 people are currently reading
8 people want to read
About the author
Hettie Brittz
16 books45 followersI was born and raised in South Africa and married the man I fell in love with at first sight. He sang his way into my heart. It's been 30 years. We have three delightful children, and a wonderful son-in-law and daughter-in-law. We all live in Tennessee.
As an author, speaker, and life coach, I have the privilege of speaking into people's lives in the areas of personal, professional, and spiritual growth.
Many people have contributed to my life in their unique ways—each giving me permission, encouragement, and skills to live a purposeful life, sustained by a calling that I am becoming surer and surer of each year. These certainties include the firm knowledge that we are meant to be unique, that our uniqueness is a compass needle that points to our True North, that that North truly matters, and that there is life, provision, overflow, and generosity at that place because when we operate there, it is God Himself who leads and teaches us to lead.
A few deeply humbling and life-altering experiences—the hardest two were possibly climbing Kilimanjaro and starting a new life in the USA in my late forties—have shaped me. The first "climb" tortured some of my worst characteristics out of me—those that are not helpful in either life or leadership; the second taught me the extent to which we are lost without a support structure that believes in our calling. These two things I want to do with a mixture of compassion and challenge: I want to be your sherpa while you climb your mountains, but also the sherpa that firmly refuses to let you remain stuck because you're not at Uhuru yet. (Kilimanjaro's peak is called Uhuru and means "freedom").
Let's become free together: free to be true to our DNA, free to allow others to be true to theirs, free to leave the part of the past that does not serve a purpose, free to grow, free to fail in the unimportant and temporary matters of life, and free to expect life to be tremendously meaningful!
"Know your design; live your purpose!"
Here are a few random facts about me:
- I am not a "land animal" - I enjoy long-distance swimming more than running around the block - but I fell in love with hiking in 2011 when I joined 47 equally crazy ladies of the Freedom Climb (now called the Freedom Challenge) to climb Kilimanjaro to raise funds for initiatives against human trafficking.
- Maybe all women are complicated, but I may be particularly complex unless it is normal to derive equal thrill from big game hunting and scrapbooking.
- My favorite author is Frederick Buechner
- I was a speech, language, and hearing therapist many years ago and loved working with special needs kids, voice patients, and adults with brain injury.
- Hot air balloons speak to me (long story!), and I finally got to ride in one in 2021!
My writing and speaking have a central theme—HOPE. I have never met someone or seen a relationship I don't have hope for. I don't believe in "permanently broken". And I have proof. Our family survived an armed robbery in our home in 2010, and I learned first-hand that He who is in us truly is greater than death threats, kidnapping, rape, and any other attempt to devastate those who are in Christ. It's one thing to know the Bible verses, but to experience God's redemption in our darkest night gave me a fierce love for Jesus. Fierce, because I feel I need to fight for others to know this, to know Him, to know truths that set free–forever and completely.
My core calling still is family and parenting, leadership, education, marriage, and womanhood (the themes of most of my books). I don't see this calling as six separate things at all. Whole and hopeful parents and educators raise whole and hopeful kids who can have fulfilling relationships and lead the world. See? One thing!
As an author, speaker, and life coach, I have the privilege of speaking into people's lives in the areas of personal, professional, and spiritual growth.
Many people have contributed to my life in their unique ways—each giving me permission, encouragement, and skills to live a purposeful life, sustained by a calling that I am becoming surer and surer of each year. These certainties include the firm knowledge that we are meant to be unique, that our uniqueness is a compass needle that points to our True North, that that North truly matters, and that there is life, provision, overflow, and generosity at that place because when we operate there, it is God Himself who leads and teaches us to lead.
A few deeply humbling and life-altering experiences—the hardest two were possibly climbing Kilimanjaro and starting a new life in the USA in my late forties—have shaped me. The first "climb" tortured some of my worst characteristics out of me—those that are not helpful in either life or leadership; the second taught me the extent to which we are lost without a support structure that believes in our calling. These two things I want to do with a mixture of compassion and challenge: I want to be your sherpa while you climb your mountains, but also the sherpa that firmly refuses to let you remain stuck because you're not at Uhuru yet. (Kilimanjaro's peak is called Uhuru and means "freedom").
Let's become free together: free to be true to our DNA, free to allow others to be true to theirs, free to leave the part of the past that does not serve a purpose, free to grow, free to fail in the unimportant and temporary matters of life, and free to expect life to be tremendously meaningful!
"Know your design; live your purpose!"
Here are a few random facts about me:
- I am not a "land animal" - I enjoy long-distance swimming more than running around the block - but I fell in love with hiking in 2011 when I joined 47 equally crazy ladies of the Freedom Climb (now called the Freedom Challenge) to climb Kilimanjaro to raise funds for initiatives against human trafficking.
- Maybe all women are complicated, but I may be particularly complex unless it is normal to derive equal thrill from big game hunting and scrapbooking.
- My favorite author is Frederick Buechner
- I was a speech, language, and hearing therapist many years ago and loved working with special needs kids, voice patients, and adults with brain injury.
- Hot air balloons speak to me (long story!), and I finally got to ride in one in 2021!
My writing and speaking have a central theme—HOPE. I have never met someone or seen a relationship I don't have hope for. I don't believe in "permanently broken". And I have proof. Our family survived an armed robbery in our home in 2010, and I learned first-hand that He who is in us truly is greater than death threats, kidnapping, rape, and any other attempt to devastate those who are in Christ. It's one thing to know the Bible verses, but to experience God's redemption in our darkest night gave me a fierce love for Jesus. Fierce, because I feel I need to fight for others to know this, to know Him, to know truths that set free–forever and completely.
My core calling still is family and parenting, leadership, education, marriage, and womanhood (the themes of most of my books). I don't see this calling as six separate things at all. Whole and hopeful parents and educators raise whole and hopeful kids who can have fulfilling relationships and lead the world. See? One thing!
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
June 2, 2023
Hettie Brittz and Annetjie van Zyl delivers a powerful and insightful guide in 'Don't Change Them, Grow Them.' This book is a must-read for pastors, counselors, coaches, and anyone seeking to strengthen their relationships with colleagues, friends and family. With practical tools and compassionate wisdom, the authors provide a transformative approach to nurturing personal growth and fostering lasting connections. This book is a life changer!
Currently reading
September 5, 2023I have highlighted almost every page in this book! Thank you Hettie, yoh this is a game changer in my personal as well as professional life!
Read
October 28, 2024Excellent and thought provoking.
July 12, 2023
I highly recommend this book to anyone. From psychologist to ministries and anyone in leadership, including parents. Of all the psychology books that I have read, this is my top one along with Hettie and Colleague's other resources matching up. Well written and in very good language, you do not need a degree to use it and yet you can use it in any degree, literally. Their fruit can be seen in what they preach: the reader is coached in an easy way, not being forced to change but encouraged to grow. That is why it is so practical in all occupations of humans. This is a book long awaited for and came at a needed time! I am grateful for a book based on sound truth (true science) and not false theories from false sciences!
October 13, 2025
Great insightful read about temperaments and coaching
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews