My Inappropriate Life: Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults

by Heather McDonald

In her hilarious New York Times bestseller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three children, Heather writes for and can be seen weekly on E! Channel’s hugely successful show, Chelsea Lately, and also stars in the show’s spin-off, After Lately.

But life as a grown-up—even a pretend grown-up—has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door; a stay-at-home husband who doesn’t give an inch; a sister who keeps asking for one of her eggs; and a group of neighborhood moms who stopped talking to her when she took her kids to a stripper pool party in Vegas. Plus, she still remains friends with the Kardashians and collects Bravo Housewives like they are bottles of wine.

Just as laugh-out-loud funny and irreverent in her storytelling as she is on camera as Chelsea Handler’s partner-in-crime, Heather recounts her misadventures with a disarming candor all her own.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Comedian, Autobiography, Biography Memoir

272 pages, Hardcover

First published February 1, 2013

Reviews

[Patrice Hoffman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was in serious need of some reading that was light, fun, and interesting. With that in mind, I was more than happy that the publishing company Simon & Schuster provided an ARC copy of Heather McDonald's My Inappropriate Life. In the interest of full disclosure, I was not a fan of hers, per se. At least not until now after having read this book. I was simply a person who had seen her on Chelsea Lately, After Lately, and in a few pictures with my favorite Bravo TV housewives.

Because I had a general idea that My Inappropriate Life would be funny, there's always a chance that jokes can fall flat or someone is just over-hyped in my mind because of their association. Her association with one of my favorite comedians and tv personalities, Chelsea Handler, made me assume she would be awesome and this memoir would be "laugh-out-loud" good. I admit it's pretty funny and I couldn't stop myself from imagining McDonald living this very inappropriate life.

What's most fun about this novel are the weird stories she relays. My favorite chapter has got to be the one about the pooping in a plane fiasco. There's also the chapter with Suze Orman that definitely had me smiling to myself. Thankfully McDonald doesn't have to name-drop too much by including hilarious moments that happen with her friends, family, and stuffed-animal children.

The most endearing quality to this book is although she is a celebrity of sorts, she doesn't take herself or her life too seriously. Often finding that she's on the outside looking in makes her voice unique and relatable. Although she's seen on television, and is clearly more of a celebrity than some of the PTA members she meets, she still has to deal with real life. Real life is teaching her children what words are inappropriate to use, standing in line at the amusement park, and dreaming of being a Bravo housewife. FYI, I wish I was a Bravo housewife.

So please, if you're interested in a fun, light read and you are neither a child, nun, or mature adult, I recommend reading Heather McDonald's My Inappropriate Life. Now, if only I still had the energy to stay up late on week nights to watch her in action on Chelsea Lately, maybe then I can consider myself a super-fan.



Copy provided by Simon & Schuster via Netgalley

[Macey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me first say that it is a fun, light, entertaining, and easy read. On top of that, it's a super quick read.

I started it and then got sidetracked but Friday night when we were having our weekly "slumber party" night with the boys, I got back to it.

This was my first mistake. I'm lying in bed trying to read and be quiet so the boys can sleep. When I got to the part about her Hershey's Kiss moment on Chelsea's private plane, I died. THEN. Came the torpedo moment and I lost it.

The bed was literally shaking, y'all. I tried to keep it quiet and inch my fat butt out of bed without making too much noise to escape where I could let loose with a loud guffaw noise. Donkey's got nothin' on me and my braying, guys.

You might think by the title of this book that Heather is totally irresponsible and X rated and taboo. Really? She's not.

In fact, I would venture out there enough to say that it's not that she's inappropriate. She's got some inappropriate friends, though! She ends up in situations that are seriously priceless.

She's a working mother to 2 boys and 1 step daughter and she's a normal gal...with an extraordinary job and friends that put her in the most entertaining situations.

The way she can take the ordinary story of taking her children on one of her trips for work to the ending where she's quoting Amy Winehouse song lyrics? Awesome.

And all the stuff in between (which is the good stuff that I'm not going to spoil for you) that gets you to the end where she's quoting those lyrics make total sense. As a mom, you're going to totally understand why and how this happened. In the end? It was probably a lil inappropriate that her kids were in that situation. Did she know before hand? Not at all.

Which is part of her charm. Heather is funny, self deprecating, loving and irreverent. It's an interesting and delightful combo, really. And, yes, I totally just said "delightful."

Somehow, I think Heather would smack the crap out of me for using that word in her book review.

I apologize. I need to rephrase it...perhaps something more along the lines of..."I'd trade my left nipple to live a day in her life." (read the book and you'll get that.)

[Denise Rolon · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book definitely had some funny parts, but I could not get comfortable with the writer's point of view. It all seemed very People magazine to me. Ultimately not worth the time.

[Blondiemem · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally laugh-out-loud silly and, yes, inappropriate at times, but not raunchy or over the top for the shock value effect!!!

[Eric Klee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heather McDonald's first book, "You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again," was an enjoyable memoir of her humorous tales of virginity, but it lacked any laugh-out-loud moments. With this, her second book, she truly has found her niche. In "My Appropriate Life," each chapter is its own humorous retelling of a story from Heather's life. You can read one chapter, set it down, and then come back to read the next whenever and not feel lost. Most are post-marriage and kids, although there are some from her childhood and young single days. You can even jump around from chapter to chapter if you want, but -- seriously -- why would you do that?

Heather has some common, as well as some uncommon, moments that she's not too embarrassed to tell, but that we can all relate to. One in particular brought out the 10-year-old boy in me that enjoys some bathroom humor. Reading the chapter about Heather's experience on Chelsea Handler's airplane (where she doesn't like anyone to use her personal toilet) had me giggling uncontrollably in bed so much, and trying to stifle my laughter, that my partner thought there was an earthquake going on.

Although Heather doesn't talk trash about celebrities like Kathy Griffin does, she does manage to namedrop and gossip on occasion throughout the book, with such celebrities as the aforementioned Chelsea, the Kardashians, and Joe Francis who started the Girls Gone Wild phenomenon. Much like Kathy, though, Heather feels she's like a D-list celebrity, trying to hang with the A-list celebs, so her efforts to climb the proverbial ladder are quite funny, too.

After reading this latest effort by Heather (and seeing her do live stand-up), I'm definitely looking forward to more comedic tales. Although comfortably wealthy and semi-famous, she's still relatable.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

So crude. So funny. So can't relate.

[Nada Al-Karmi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't knoe how to review this book.

It had stories but none of them were funny or that interesting.

Honestly, Heather came out to me as a normal mom who is desperate to be recognised as a celebrity and is dying to get the approval and friendship of Chelsea Handler.

[Nicole Brisk · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

[*Weebles* · Rating 5 out of 5]

This chick is absolutely hilarious! I loved this book.

[Isabella Casey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny and light however not as many laugh out loud moments as her first book. Also, many of the stories included were featured in her stand up special so it was a bit tired to me.

[Linsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me laugh a lot. I find Heather McDonald to be honest and relatable, even though she has a completely diffeerent life than my own. I especially enjoyed her stories about motherhood and marriage.

[Carrie Ardoin · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 STARS

I have read all but the latest of E's late night comedy/talk show host Chelsea Handler's books. I found them pretty hilarious, filled with the blunt attitude of Chelsea herself, though they were also filled with some tales I simply did not believe ever occurred. As I am familiar with all the regulars on Chelsea's show, Chelsea Lately, I was looking forward to delving into Heather McDonald's second set of amusing tales.

Unfortunately, what I found is that Mrs. McDonald's anecdotes are light on the hilarity, and completely lacking in substance. Heather is a writer and regularly featured co-host on Chelsea Lately. She is also a wife and mother of three. The stories told in My Inappropriate Life come from both sides of the fine and sometimes blended line she straddles as a working mom.

As I am a mother myself, I could relate to some of the things Heather shares. But I have a strong feeling that if you are not a parent, then more than half of this book will be boring for you--just another mom telling stories about her kid that are only important to her. For example, I can understand the stress of worrying that your son will not get into the school you truly want him to attend (I'm going through the same thing myself, coincidentally), so the idea of a full grown woman crying in the principal's office and trying to bribe her is equal parts funny and sad. But if you're not a mom, you're going to be left holding this book, rolling your eyes and wondering what the big deal is--isn't a school a school?

The book definitely delivers on its' title, however. If you want inappropriate, take a look at the tale of Heather accidentally leaving behind a little gift in the bathroom of Chelsea Handler's private plane. Or I could recommend the one where she accidentally takes her young children to the swimming pool of the Hard Rock Vegas when the decidedly not-for-children party called "Rehab" is about to begin.

For myself, I enjoyed the stories of motherhood, trying to find friends, and being a good wife the most entertaining of all. There are also chapters featuring celebrity weddings and parties, but they end with Heather having given them no real point at all.

If you liked Heather McDonald's first book, then you'll probably like this one as well. I just wish it read better than, "Well this one time I was talking to Kim Kardashian..."

[Mediaman · Rating 3 out of 5]

The fact that McDonald writes for Chelsea Handler should warn readers enough--like Handler, McDonald is snarky, constantly complains, and pushes her extremely liberal viewpoint on others. The problem here is that: 1. It's hard to tell which, if any, of the stories in this book are real or even close to the truth; and 2. Every story has no real point to it.

McDonald appears to be a person who wants to flaunt her Catholic faith and upbringing when it's convenient for her. She brags about her Catholic schooling and makes sure to mention that she still goes to church most Sundays. If so, the question is why she is spewing so much filth and so many anti-Catholic beliefs in this book. My theory is that McDonald is actually pretty conservative but doesn't want anyone else to know--she wants so much to be accepted by the "hip" crowd that she goes overboard in her bizarre life choices. She drinks a lot, goes out with the single girls even though she should be home with the kids, and somehow thinks it's okay to get drunk, take drugs, and watch trashy movies in front of her little kids.

The worst is her constantly joking about gays in the book. She must have a huge gay fan club because it almost appears that the book is written for them. But to "joke" about her 9-year-old being gay or teaching him the "F" gay word is really inappropriate. (She tossed the N word with her son in as well!) Based on some of the stories she tells in this book I'd suggest child protective services follow her for a week and possibly take the children from her negative influence.

McDonald has an interesting life but who knows how much of it is real on these pages. Let's hope her kids don't read this ten years from now and abandon their mother due to how bad of a parent she is (and brags about it).

[Greg W · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heather is hilarious and her stories are a lot different than many female comedians. Heather is a proud working mother and wife who supports her family, she's also a devout Catholic. This gives her a different perspective than your typical Amy Schumer's and Sarah Silverman's. But it doesn't stop her from going to swanky celebrity parties, drinking too much Chardonnay, and forcing her friend to take a morning after pill. There's also a lot of hilarious stories about the behind the scenes goings on at the E! show Chelsea Lately. Her real life husband Peter features as the main secondary character throughout the book, and their relationship dynamic is portrayed hilariously and poignantly.

The book also features some genuinely touching moments. One chapter starts with Heather's very fond reminiscence of an amusement park her parents took her to as a child. Years later she views the horrors of the park (long lines, expensive prices, dodgy crowd) through the eyes of herself as a mother taking her own kids to it. The way she ties in parenthood through the eyes of her families generations of fathers, mothers, and children is something everyone can relate too.

If you've seen her stand-up routines, a lot of her stories are a bit spoiled because they also appear in here, but that didn't stop me from thoroughly enjoying it. Her unique perspective never gets old to me. Highly recommend this as some light-hearted vacation reading.

[Luis Perez · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the kind of book I wouldn't buy, but I got this copy for free. I've never seen Chelsea Lately and I was not familiar with the author but I still enjoyed reading this book. It's quite funny in parts and if you have kids, you will appreciate a lot of the zany moments and parental dilemmas presented throughout. The shallowness that permeates the Hollywood life will make you more appreciate your own. Keep in mind that the author admittedly embellishes some scenarios for added effect.

If I had a criticism of the book, it's that the photos scattered throughout, while appreciated, are of poor reproduction. A glossy center section would have served much better.

If you are looking for a fast, light, amusing read, this book is perfect for you. If you are making out a summer reading list, put this book on it.

[Craig Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fact: I love, love, LOVE to laugh-more than anything in the world, but it's tough for a book to make me actually "Laugh Out Loud"-but McDonald's adventures into the quasi-celebrity world and being an "inappropriate mother" in Hollywood did just that--LOL, several times. I've read lots of books by comedians, but this one really made me laugh. There were so many funny parts in this book that I flew through in quick fashion. Her story about planning her husband's funeral in between horrendous bouts of snoring late at night were particularly hilarious. I'm a big fan of Heather McDonald, so I recommend this to fellow fans of hers of course, but also anyone looking for a good laugh-this one is worth it. 4 stars.

[Robyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have watched a few episodes of Chelsea Lately and read 2 of Chelsea Handler's novels. I had never heard of Heather McDonald before seeing her book at the local book store, and thinking it looked funny. Heather is funny. The book has no real insight besides a few good laughs, and stories involving other celebrities, as well as some funny "mom" stories on Heather parenting her young kids. It was a light, entertaining, quick novel, but that's all. I still don't 100% know what Heather does for a living on Chelsea Lately and the other Chelsea show she works on. (I think she is sometimes on the show? But might be a writer for it too?)

[Linh Nguyen · Rating 4 out of 5]

She's one hell of a Real Housewife of Woodland Hills :)) ... have to say this has been brightening up my lunch breaks for last two weeks, my way of forgetting my reality and escape to her Woodland Hills version of the Hollywood/LA world. There are lots of laugh out loud and WTH moments in the book. I found her family stories are way more entertaining and funnier than the blueball tales in her first book. If you're a Chelsea Lately fan then this book is defo a must-read.

Please keep on writing, Heather.

[Val · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book had some very funny parts, some kind of funny parts and some meh parts. I listened to it on audio, narrated by the author, and unfortunately, I have to say, the reading detracted from the book overall. Some words were mangled, breath control was not good, and the overall narration was poor. (Hopefully Heather never sees this because she will surely say something very mean about me. haha)

The funniest chapter was about Nala the ex porn star who liked to call old guys daddy and get them to buy her food, whilst getting wasted in restaurants and puking.

[Kara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny. She is definitely a good story teller. Of all the funny girl books I have read (Chelsey, Tina and Jane most recently) I enjoyed this the most. I love the inappropriate amounts of wine she drinks, probably because I see a little of myself in her, and her honesty about how she cries over stupid stuff, again I can relate. I would recommend this book for anyone looking to be entertained by dumb but funny anecdotes for a few days.

[Darin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another comic memoir from the Chelsea crew. It amazes me that I like Heather McDonald because she is just so ridiculous. But I guess she's ridiculous in a good way because I like her. This book is just what you'd expect if you know her comedy. If you've watched After Lately you will have some chapters spoiled for you already. Will this book change lives or win awards? Nah. Will it make you smile and even laugh out lout a few times? Sure.

[Shelby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not familiar with Heather, as I never watched Chelsea Lately or After Lately. I have read most of Chelsea's books though and loved them, so I thought I'd check this book out.

Overall I found the book fairly entertaining. Some parts were just kind of silly, but there were some chapters I really loved. I was a little annoyed though how often she mentioned Chelsea...like she though she needed to name drop or something.

[Niki · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had seen that this book had received many high reviews and so was excited to read it and have to say I was disappointed. I feel like the only thing that I remember is that I am sure she is an alcoholic and that she mostly wanted to hang out with Chelsea Handler so she could become friends with her celebrity friends. Wouldn't recommend to anyone

[Shez · Rating 1 out of 5]

I managed to get through half this book before I had to cry "uncle" and put it down. I was expecting comedy, but by the time I gave up reading it, I had not come upon anything that was even remotely funny.

Some find it funny to read about the antics of an alcoholic ex-Playboy bunny, or an insecure mother who competes with other mothers on every level she can, I just don't see the humor in it.

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think it was not the best idea for this author to read her own book. She stumbles over words so much that it's distracting, and her Valley Girl accent is pretty distracting as well.
As for the content, I feel like she started really strong, but seemed to run out of steam with her stories as the book went on. The beginning stories were WAY funnier than the ones towards the end.

[Ms. B · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had fun reading through her stories but I didn't find it laugh out loud funny and the name dropping made it less so. I get they give their friends credit by naming them but I felt like it was a little too much. I hear her first book was really good. Maybe I should try that one?

[Serena · Rating 2 out of 5]

While this book did have a few redeeming qualities, due to a lack of editorial

contribution I would not recommend.

My Rating System:
* couldn't finish, ** wouldn't recommend, *** would recommend, **** would read again, *****

have read again.

[Gregory · Rating 4 out of 5]

Certifiably snortable in several places. I listened to this book and have to say it was probably a mistake for the author to have read it herself. There were many times when what was being read would have gotten a bigger laugh from me if the words had been read appropriately.

[Charles Ayres · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Heather, and I get the Real Housewife jokes. Basically if you like "Chelsea Lately" and the crew, you will like this, too.

I liked Heather's first book enough, but I like this one even more. Fun, light read. Now I need to read the books by Loni Love and Ross Mathews!

[Mary Kay · Rating 2 out of 5]

It wasn't Tina Fey - but then who could be!

I listened to it, and it was really unprofessional. It really took away from the experience.
I also really liked Chelsea Handler until I listened to this book - now she seems shallow and mean.