When Someone Dies: The Practical Guide to the Logistics of Death

by Scott Taylor Smith

A lawyer and venture capitalist provides a complete, practical guide for dealing with the concrete details surrounding the death of a loved one, from funeral and estate planning to navigating the complexities of online identities.

Scott Taylor Smith, a venture capitalist and lawyer, had plentiful resources, and yet after his mother died, he made a series of agonizing and costly mistakes in squaring away her affairs. He could find countless books that dealt with caring for the dying and the emotional fallout of death, but very few that dealt with the logistics.
In the aftermath of his mother’s death, Smith decided to write the book he wished he’d had. When Someone Dies provides readers with a crucial framework for making good, informed, money-saving decisions in the chaotic thirty days after a loved one dies and beyond. It provides essential, concrete guidance
• Making funeral and memorial service arrangements
• Writing an obituary
• Estate planning
• Contacting family and friends
• Handling your loved one’s online footprint
• Navigating probate
• Dealing with finances, including trusts and taxation
• And much, much more
Featuring concise checklists in each chapter, this guide offers answers to practical questions, enabling loved ones to save time and money and focus on healing.

Genres: Nonfiction, Reference

256 pages, Paperback

First published March 12, 2013

Reviews

[Sharon Orlopp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend.

Very straightforward, thoughtful, practical book about how to handle the logistics of death.

Some of the topics that are covered include: funeral preparation, burial or cremation, religious issues, grief, social security benefits, locating assets and critical information, locating any compensation if the person was employed, locating debts, determining estate's value and net worth, trusts, taxes, and probate.

[Joan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had this book when Al died. It's the book I decided I wanted to write when we discovered that, even with a trust and will in place, there's a mountain of work. Two weeks after I said I wanted to write this, out came the book and it's superb. There is much we didn't do - because we didn't know - that we can now take care of. As a result of the information in the book, I've already made changes in my own estate planning. I recommended this book to our Hospice to have available for families and they've gotten a copy. It's clear, readable and extremely helpful.

Feedback from hospice:
"Wow – just rec’d copy in the mail. So comprehensive!
Thanks for directing us to it."
"I have emailed all social workers, chaplains, nursing supervisors and medical directors about it, and they are thrilled."

[Al Price · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really handy quick reference, organized very clearly. My hesitation with it is that the authors did not specify how their directives might apply or not apply to spouses as executors. The book seem to have been written from the point of view of handling someone else’s estate or handling the death of a parent etc. but multiple allusions were made to the fact that the spouse situation is somewhat different. That really needed more clarity.

[ambyr · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are looking for sensitive guidance on the grieving process, this is not the right book for you. If you want blunt advice on what to do with the body of the decedent and how to close out his or her financial interests, on the other hand, this is an excellent place to start. Four stars instead of five because its brevity means it focuses on common scenarios and the only real advice it has for the complex situation I'm dealing with is "consult a lawyer." But no book can be all things to all people.

If you're reading this review and thinking, "That sounds like a useful book some day, but I don't need it now," it is probably an excellent time for you to read this book. Someone close to you will, eventually, die. Wouldn't you rather be prepared than trying to learn things at the same time you're processing your grief?

The last chapter also provides an overview on how to structure your affairs to make life easier for your executors and beneficiaries and save them from whatever headache has driven you to read this book.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Seems great so far, esp. if you're not the spouse. Wish I'd gotten my library copy beforehand. I'll enumerate how it compares to my own experience, losing my husband in July 2025 in Oklahoma and dealing with that aftermath. (Author lost his mother in 2009 in California.)

Notifying Social Security is now done by the funeral home. SSA notifies Medicare. (But of course do confirm w/ your funeral home that they are doing so.)

I believe the ten copies of the Death Certificate we ordered will be more than we need. My mother, who lost her husband in 2020, only got 1, and sent copies to everyone. (They did have a formal Trust, though. In Wisconsin.)

If you have siblings, be sure the advance care directive and funeral plans have been discussed with all. Author's siblings disagreed about mom's end of life care and funeral arrangements. Be prepared for the hard sell from the funeral home - try to get mom to plan ahead by writing a will. (I was lucky; the place in OKC that I used, as recommended by the hospice folk, didn't try to sell us anything. We had cremation w/ no service though so they could tell they'd get nothing from us.)

still reading... I'm quite sure I'll want my own copy, as I am the executor and trustee for my mom...
---
Ok done. Yes, I do want my own copy. I have so many book darts. I esp. like the last chapter, in which there's advice for me to make it easier for my heirs. I can even use some of that advice to make it even easier for when I have to deal with my mom's. Basically the first advice for you, now, is that you want to read this book now, write a will no matter what but especially if you have more than one child, and get a trust if you have any property or investments at all. And be co-owner, joint, POD, or TOD on everything possible, not just beneficiary.

Don't leave the mess that my husband did. Even though I was in charge of almost everything, there's so much more he could have done to make it easier for me.

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! It was recommended to me by a friend who thought it would be helpful because my Mom recently died. A lot of great advice on how to handle things before the person dies and after. I feel more confident now that I’m handling my Moms affairs properly. Everyone should own this book. Great resource!

[Melissa Koser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Are you going to die someday? Then you should read this book to help smooth out issues for your family after you’re gone.
Are your family members going to die someday? Then you should read this book to know what to expect in wrapping up their affairs.
I’m going to buy this book and attach it to my will.

[Yodamom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a subject that none of us want to read about. Death happens and it tears our world apart. The emotional pain clouds our minds and leaves us floundering for answers. What do we do? Who do we turn to ? How will we ever get through this ? All this unknown makes this transition more difficult. Everyone needs to know what to do but this is a subject we do not talk about. I have been through this, blindsided by death and all the complications that followed. I wish I had been educated in the inevitable process that we must all face. I was an ostrich.
This book walks you step by step through the details of what needs to be done. There is no floundering, there are checklists, step by step instructions. How to deal with government, banks, estate taxes, funeral expenses, taxes, social security, and even facebook accounts. The nuts and bolts of what to do so you and your family can morn and heal and not worry about the sharks waiting to take advantage of you at this terrible time. This should be on everyones shelf.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book no one wants to read but one with a good step by step explanation of how to proceed when someone you love dies. Particularly geared towards the duties and responsibilities of the executors of a will or trust. Good tips I wouldn’t have known, such as making sure to get multiple copies of the death certificate, as many businesses and institutions will require that to close out accounts, etc. I had no idea of all the work involved when a person dies. I am not designated as the executor for my parents or in laws; however, the info in this books will allow me to provide support and encouragement to their executors if needed.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this at the library to help me with updating my will this month. It has practical, step-by-step advice which helped me add some things to my will "do" list.

[Lora · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty helpful when my husband died. Actually more helpful than the lawyer I went to.

[Sevenponds · Rating 4 out of 5]

“When Someone Dies” by author Scott Taylor Smith is described as a “step-by-step guide to all the practical things you must do after someone dies to settle the person’s affairs as quickly and cost-effectively as possible.” As a lawyer who deals with wills, trusts and estates on a constant basis, one would think that Smith felt very well equipped to deal with such tasks. And yet, wrapping up his deceased mother’s affairs and settling her estate took years longer than the author expected, and he encountered many costly mistakes along the way.

Smith’s book is truly a guide that intends to keep people from enduring what he had to go through; it serves as a map through the minefield of legalities and procedures surrounding the subject of death. Few think about the subject until it’s thrust upon them by the death of a family member, and in that hectic moment there is often little time to do research. The resultant improvisation most people go through in navigating the issues, and the grieving process, is a recipe for mistakes and bad judgment.

[Continued]


Full SevenPonds review:
http://blog.sevenponds.com/lending-in...

[Gary · Rating 4 out of 5]

When my father passed away, he left things in pretty good shape. But there was always a nagging feeling of what am I missing? Am I doing things right? When Someone Dies helped me see what the "else" I needed to do.

This is a book of checklists, followed by brief descriptions. It is good a place to start to when someone does die. It does not try to explain each special case, or even how to do things in general. The organization of the book gives it away: it starts when someone dies, goes and says what to do for the next few days, months and then at the end of a year, what needs to be done to give up your role. At the end of the book, is a self-examination; not have you done your job right, but are you ready to have someone take over for you?

So if you are a novice in the death business, this is a good place to start. For a little bit more, see my blog.

[Daphne]

This was an excellent resource for a subject that is difficult and rarely discussed. It offers clear information for executors for what to do in the days, hours, and weeks preceding and following a death. It's a one stop resource for phone numbers you need and options to be aware of. Frankly, it's not enough for me to have read it and returned it to the library. I plan to buy a copy to have as a reference guide on hand at a moments notice.

[Nichola · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very specifically about the minutia of legal paper work, funeral homes, certifications, insurance policies, property, probate, personal items, responsibilities, taxes, social security, etc. when a person dies. No emotional processing here- there are lots of books about that already. If you are someone's executer read this before you are needed. Only drawback is of course each state has different laws, so some of the guidelines are general, but it does guide as to who and what to ask..

[Susan Waldron · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hard subject to read about, but it's easy to follow and seems to be very practical.

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

With 90 year old parents, a detailed, practical guide to prepare for times ahead. I will be purchasing this work.

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical, step-by-step instructions that will be very useful to executors who have never gone through this before. I'm going to buy a copy for future reference.