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Gone
From the editor of the New York Times bestselling essay anthology The Bitch in the House and the novel Sweet Ruin comes a heart-pounding drama about a woman who must hold her family together after her husband disappears.
Called “beautiful, complicated, and often funny” by O, The Oprah Magazine, “clear-eyed” by Vanity Fair, and “rich with relatable characters” by Kirkus Reviews, Cathi Hanauer’s stirring novel is about redefining, in middle age, one’s marriage, one’s career, and even one’s role as parent and friend.
For fourteen years, Eve Adams has worked part-time while raising her two children and emotionally supporting her sculptor husband, Eric. Now, at forty-two, she has a growing private nutritionist practice and a book deal, and Eric’s once-thriving career has hit a slump. When he simply does not come home one night, Eve is forced to shift her family in possibly irreparable ways and to realize that competence in one area of life doesn’t always keep things from unraveling in another.
Called “beautiful, complicated, and often funny” by O, The Oprah Magazine, “clear-eyed” by Vanity Fair, and “rich with relatable characters” by Kirkus Reviews, Cathi Hanauer’s stirring novel is about redefining, in middle age, one’s marriage, one’s career, and even one’s role as parent and friend.
For fourteen years, Eve Adams has worked part-time while raising her two children and emotionally supporting her sculptor husband, Eric. Now, at forty-two, she has a growing private nutritionist practice and a book deal, and Eric’s once-thriving career has hit a slump. When he simply does not come home one night, Eve is forced to shift her family in possibly irreparable ways and to realize that competence in one area of life doesn’t always keep things from unraveling in another.
368 pages, Paperback
First published June 19, 2012
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March 4, 2020
"She loved watching men cut down trees. Especially when, as now, there was a sapling nearby that would thrive without its expiring ancestor to steal its sunlight and root space".
Gone by Cathi Hanauer
I was SO excited to read this one. Gone looked great! It tells the story of Eve and Eric.
Eve is a nutritionist. Eric is a sculptor. Eve's career is thriving. Eric's is not.
One night, Eric, leaves the house to take the Baby sitter home. He should be gone only a few minutes. But..he n ever comes home.
Eric has absconded with the Baby Sitter. Eve has no idea what is going on and where the two of them have gone. She just knows that all of a sudden she is a single mom whose husband has literally run away.
What a premise. And how realistic. I have known women whom similar things have happened to.
It's a pretty terrifying premise and every wife's worst nightmare.
But the book fell flat for me. It wasn't awful or even not good. I read till the end. But I had a few issues. Here are some of them:
t I disliked Eve's husband. I disliked him so much that it was hard for me to relate to him. The husband, Eric,, treated Eve really badly. It was hard for me to have much sympathy for him.I did like Eve and was surprised by how much inner strength she had in dealing with her vanishing husband.
There were way to many descriptions of food in this book. I mean whole paragraphs. That is OK I guess but at times it did feel I was reading a cooking manual. I know that is Eve's career but it was still a bit much.
The baby sitter it turns out is not sexually involved with Eric at all. Not a spoiler since you find that out early on. She has another reason for needing to abscond with Eric. And her story really did not interest me much. It just didn't. So I was not very invested.
All in all, I enjoyed some aspects of the book more then the book as a whole but it is possible I am not the target audience for it.I thought it was going to be quite different then it wound up being. Still I would not call "Gone" a bad book at all. It just was not the book for me.
SPOILERS:
I felt awful when Eve's client died and did not see that coming.
Eric's angst over his talent being gone made me feel for him a bit but his callousness toward Eve made it difficult.
Gone was not a bad read but it was not one I was wild over.
Gone by Cathi Hanauer
I was SO excited to read this one. Gone looked great! It tells the story of Eve and Eric.
Eve is a nutritionist. Eric is a sculptor. Eve's career is thriving. Eric's is not.
One night, Eric, leaves the house to take the Baby sitter home. He should be gone only a few minutes. But..he n ever comes home.
Eric has absconded with the Baby Sitter. Eve has no idea what is going on and where the two of them have gone. She just knows that all of a sudden she is a single mom whose husband has literally run away.
What a premise. And how realistic. I have known women whom similar things have happened to.
It's a pretty terrifying premise and every wife's worst nightmare.
But the book fell flat for me. It wasn't awful or even not good. I read till the end. But I had a few issues. Here are some of them:
t I disliked Eve's husband. I disliked him so much that it was hard for me to relate to him. The husband, Eric,, treated Eve really badly. It was hard for me to have much sympathy for him.I did like Eve and was surprised by how much inner strength she had in dealing with her vanishing husband.
There were way to many descriptions of food in this book. I mean whole paragraphs. That is OK I guess but at times it did feel I was reading a cooking manual. I know that is Eve's career but it was still a bit much.
The baby sitter it turns out is not sexually involved with Eric at all. Not a spoiler since you find that out early on. She has another reason for needing to abscond with Eric. And her story really did not interest me much. It just didn't. So I was not very invested.
All in all, I enjoyed some aspects of the book more then the book as a whole but it is possible I am not the target audience for it.I thought it was going to be quite different then it wound up being. Still I would not call "Gone" a bad book at all. It just was not the book for me.
SPOILERS:
I felt awful when Eve's client died and did not see that coming.
Eric's angst over his talent being gone made me feel for him a bit but his callousness toward Eve made it difficult.
Gone was not a bad read but it was not one I was wild over.
September 11, 2013
This novel wasn’t what I expected from reading the book flap. I don’t think that description helps the book. The book is a great rendition of a marriage in transition. The novel begins with a stalled, “stuck” marriage in which both parties are unhappy. They don’t like each other and they don’t like themselves. As the book jacket states, a husband (Eric) leaves his wife (Eve) suddenly after a dinner in which he drives the babysitter home. But, he doesn’t drive the babysitter home, he drives her 600 miles to her mother’s home in Arizona. Hanauer could be accused of not fully developing Eric’s character to make this believable. What does transpire in the book, is a musing of a marriage gone awry. What the characters do realize is that a marriage needs to be fluid; marriage takes work; it needs to be redefined. While Eric is having some sort of male nervous breakdown, Eve is left with no money, an obnoxious 14 year old daughter, and a sickly 9 year old son. The verbal exchanges with Eve and her 14 year old daughter are very realistic; I wondered if she had a listening device into my own home. Some of the arguments were EXACTLY like what I’ve gone through. As an aside of this novel, Eve is a nutritional expert and adviser. I really liked her perspective of all the confusing nutritional information out there: eggs are bad, no eggs are good; raspberries are good; no, they have toxins; caffeine is bad, no caffeine can be good. I thought it was an interesting read. Hanauer had each character see their respective flaws in the marriage. It cleaned up a little too tidy in such a short period of time. Hanauer did a great job of character development of Eve and the children; Eric, for me, wasn’t believable.
August 8, 2012
It's too bad - I had heard so many good things about this book. The premise was good....but this is where everything fell short.
Spoiler alart - although there isn't MUCH to spoil 150 pages in...
I'm not sure why the author felt the need to write about 20 pages on her nutrition "interventions" with "clients". I found this whole sub-plot to be bizarre. (I used to work with dieticians so know the drill). Was it only to show us how competent the main character is, in contrast to her useless husband? How she is able to save the world through helthy (but not too healthy), food for her poor depraved clients, in the face of her husband not coming home? (eye roll)
The main character seems to be to good to be true. I kept saying to myself: Seriously? I could not identify with this character. She is SO great at EVERYTHING. And never complains. I would have hoped into the car with the babysitter too.
And the "other" main character - the husband - was more realistic but not within a relationship to super woman. I do not need to read another 50+ pages justifying and lamenting WHY he needed to go on a road trip with the babysitter. Then listen to him whine about why he is SO useless in the face of these competent women around him. PUL-EASE!
He is a brat by being able to only "feel connected" only to his 20-somethng babysitter and teenaged daughter. Don't most men feel this coming on, recognise it, and move on? Man up! I think the author has a world view that dumbs-down men and this is the chracter she wanted to portray.
If the female chracter is SO GREAT why would she have married, or at least put up with, a husband like that?
The author must STILL FEEL like she isn't quite hitting the message home, the author also transfers this same theme onto the children in the book. The firey teen girl about to take on the world even though her ex-boy friend is now dating the "societally driven perfect woman", and the quiet, sickly, gentle little boy, that needs his momma to take care of him. Too obvious. Barf.
Women are no longer buying into this need-to-be-everything-to-everyone-all-the-time-BS, nor are we buying into the men-are-pretty-dumb-thank-goodness-we-have-women-to-save-them-from-their-own-nonsense.
I could not continue my nutrition training, listening to the winner of the "woman of the year award", or listening to some loser having a mid-life crisis. The kids were molded in the same vein and it was unbelievable. Seriously. It was like Stepford wives by in reverse turned inside out.
If I want an agenda shoved down my throat I'll go find it elsewhere.
Spoiler alart - although there isn't MUCH to spoil 150 pages in...
I'm not sure why the author felt the need to write about 20 pages on her nutrition "interventions" with "clients". I found this whole sub-plot to be bizarre. (I used to work with dieticians so know the drill). Was it only to show us how competent the main character is, in contrast to her useless husband? How she is able to save the world through helthy (but not too healthy), food for her poor depraved clients, in the face of her husband not coming home? (eye roll)
The main character seems to be to good to be true. I kept saying to myself: Seriously? I could not identify with this character. She is SO great at EVERYTHING. And never complains. I would have hoped into the car with the babysitter too.
And the "other" main character - the husband - was more realistic but not within a relationship to super woman. I do not need to read another 50+ pages justifying and lamenting WHY he needed to go on a road trip with the babysitter. Then listen to him whine about why he is SO useless in the face of these competent women around him. PUL-EASE!
He is a brat by being able to only "feel connected" only to his 20-somethng babysitter and teenaged daughter. Don't most men feel this coming on, recognise it, and move on? Man up! I think the author has a world view that dumbs-down men and this is the chracter she wanted to portray.
If the female chracter is SO GREAT why would she have married, or at least put up with, a husband like that?
The author must STILL FEEL like she isn't quite hitting the message home, the author also transfers this same theme onto the children in the book. The firey teen girl about to take on the world even though her ex-boy friend is now dating the "societally driven perfect woman", and the quiet, sickly, gentle little boy, that needs his momma to take care of him. Too obvious. Barf.
Women are no longer buying into this need-to-be-everything-to-everyone-all-the-time-BS, nor are we buying into the men-are-pretty-dumb-thank-goodness-we-have-women-to-save-them-from-their-own-nonsense.
I could not continue my nutrition training, listening to the winner of the "woman of the year award", or listening to some loser having a mid-life crisis. The kids were molded in the same vein and it was unbelievable. Seriously. It was like Stepford wives by in reverse turned inside out.
If I want an agenda shoved down my throat I'll go find it elsewhere.
December 23, 2015
Gone is the story of the evolution of marriage. The introduction to Eve and Eric begins with Eve, lamenting that Eric ran off with the babysitter. This could easily be a simple, textbook case of a midlife crisis and a man suffering marriage malaise. Instead, the author paints a much more complex and complete picture.
The story of Eve and Eric is told by both points of view. It is present tense as they muddle through the sudden and unplanned separation. Given, Eric's decision to drive away is sudden and impulsive. Again, this could be easily attributed to an artist's flighty temperament. But it is not. Eric ends up across the country, staying with his mother, trying to figure out where he is in life. What happened to make him a stranger and useless at home. Why he left Eve and the children like that. Slowly, Eric puts the pieces of his life together and realizes what he needs and some of how to attain it.
Eve is at home working as a dietitian and some of her cases are teaching her valuable and painful lessons about life and interconnectedness. She is learning how she shuts people out, how she avoids difficult situations, and how she misses what she had and took it for granted. A warning - the beginning is slow as Eve muddles through her cases.
The story is not action packed but deeply moving and I savored it. It is best appreciated by a middle aged person in a middle aged marriage. A parent of a teen or pre-adolescent will empathize well. Painfully well. It is moving and heart-wrenching. I wish I had this book years ago.
I think the best part of the book is realizing that marriages change throughout the years and both partners are responsible for adapting. You can never go back to have the same marriage. Marriage is about compromising for what you want most.
The story of Eve and Eric is told by both points of view. It is present tense as they muddle through the sudden and unplanned separation. Given, Eric's decision to drive away is sudden and impulsive. Again, this could be easily attributed to an artist's flighty temperament. But it is not. Eric ends up across the country, staying with his mother, trying to figure out where he is in life. What happened to make him a stranger and useless at home. Why he left Eve and the children like that. Slowly, Eric puts the pieces of his life together and realizes what he needs and some of how to attain it.
Eve is at home working as a dietitian and some of her cases are teaching her valuable and painful lessons about life and interconnectedness. She is learning how she shuts people out, how she avoids difficult situations, and how she misses what she had and took it for granted. A warning - the beginning is slow as Eve muddles through her cases.
The story is not action packed but deeply moving and I savored it. It is best appreciated by a middle aged person in a middle aged marriage. A parent of a teen or pre-adolescent will empathize well. Painfully well. It is moving and heart-wrenching. I wish I had this book years ago.
I think the best part of the book is realizing that marriages change throughout the years and both partners are responsible for adapting. You can never go back to have the same marriage. Marriage is about compromising for what you want most.
September 6, 2012
I rarely give out only one star but sometimes you just have to do it. I just didn't like the characters, didn't find the plot believable, and just kept doggedly reading because I hate to give up on a book. I felt like I was reading a really bad lifetime movie. I can't imagine anyone accepting their husband driving off into the night with the babysitter and acting as the main character, Eve, does. Also, the intent to spread awareness about the 'obesity epidemic' not only failed but offended me at times. I was really disappointed because I got this as an ARC and really thought it was going to be a great read. It may just be that I've been spoiled after recently reading the fantastic Gone Girl. Onward and upward!
August 23, 2012
Oh, how I loved this book! Eve Adams is a forty two-year old woman struggling to maintain the balance between home and work; her husband Eric, a once-brilliant sculptor, has lost his muse and, consequently, the ability to support his family. To help make ends meet, Eve has embarked on a career as a freelance nutritionist following the success of her recently published book on health and weight loss. Feeling more and more superfluous with each day that passes, Eric leaves to take the babysitter home one night and just doesn’t come home. Blindsided, Eve must figure out where he has gone and why without damaging him in the eyes of their two children, especially their capricious fourteen-year old daughter.
Told from the points of view of both Eve and Eric, Gone deals with a range of contemporary issues, including health and fitness, the meaning of art, survival in a faltering economy, the challenge of raising teenagers, and marriage and fidelity. It is a realistic portrait of two complex human beings; as a single woman who often feels like I am simply playing the best hand I can with the cards life deals me, I could relate very well to Eve and her thoughts, feelings and decisions. This book kept me up late at night turning the pages all the way until the highly satisfying conclusion. Very highly recommended!
Told from the points of view of both Eve and Eric, Gone deals with a range of contemporary issues, including health and fitness, the meaning of art, survival in a faltering economy, the challenge of raising teenagers, and marriage and fidelity. It is a realistic portrait of two complex human beings; as a single woman who often feels like I am simply playing the best hand I can with the cards life deals me, I could relate very well to Eve and her thoughts, feelings and decisions. This book kept me up late at night turning the pages all the way until the highly satisfying conclusion. Very highly recommended!
September 22, 2015
I'm at the point in my life where there are dear friends of mine who are in deep marital trouble. More than a few of them, actually, which is sad and real and brings up a lot of big questions about my own marriage.
Which is why I picked up Gone. It's the story of Eric and Eve; Eric is driving the babysitter home one night and doesn't come home. He's not dead because his credit card is registering him buying gas and staying in motels as he makes his way across the country. He's with the babysitter as she's not answering any phone calls or returning any texts and has been missing for the same amount of time.
This completely promising premise falls apart about 50 pages in when we learn that Eric and the babysitter aren't having an affair (NOT a spoiler since it happens so early). What is left is a long, sloppy meditation on marriage by two characters who both lack self-awareness. We fumble along with them for THREE hundred more pages. Shoot me.
The other main thrust of this book is Eve's career as a dietician in private practice. Hanauer seems to want to say a lot of BIG things about the state of food production and consumption in America but her Eve is a terrible vehicle to get this across. Eve as a character is judgmental, unkind about her daughter (calling her "big" and "messy" on more than one occasion), and is mentioned as being "petite" and "blond" about a million times. I'm not sure why we needed to have Eve's clients as part of this story since they added literally NOTHING to this narrative beyond highlighting either Eve's (or Hanauer's) utter lack of respect for race and class (an overweight black teenager is described as having "large features," speaking how Hanauer must perceive is "black," and is characterized as lumbering and slow; there are countless other examples).
So yeah, forget this one. Not worth the time.
Which is why I picked up Gone. It's the story of Eric and Eve; Eric is driving the babysitter home one night and doesn't come home. He's not dead because his credit card is registering him buying gas and staying in motels as he makes his way across the country. He's with the babysitter as she's not answering any phone calls or returning any texts and has been missing for the same amount of time.
This completely promising premise falls apart about 50 pages in when we learn that Eric and the babysitter aren't having an affair (NOT a spoiler since it happens so early). What is left is a long, sloppy meditation on marriage by two characters who both lack self-awareness. We fumble along with them for THREE hundred more pages. Shoot me.
The other main thrust of this book is Eve's career as a dietician in private practice. Hanauer seems to want to say a lot of BIG things about the state of food production and consumption in America but her Eve is a terrible vehicle to get this across. Eve as a character is judgmental, unkind about her daughter (calling her "big" and "messy" on more than one occasion), and is mentioned as being "petite" and "blond" about a million times. I'm not sure why we needed to have Eve's clients as part of this story since they added literally NOTHING to this narrative beyond highlighting either Eve's (or Hanauer's) utter lack of respect for race and class (an overweight black teenager is described as having "large features," speaking how Hanauer must perceive is "black," and is characterized as lumbering and slow; there are countless other examples).
So yeah, forget this one. Not worth the time.
July 3, 2012
One night, after a night out with his wife, Eric doesn't return home from driving the babysitter home...instead he drives across the country, WITH the babysitter, leaving his wife and two kids alone with no explanation.
Favorite Quotes:
"I read this poem once,' Nancy said, and Eve bet that even she was trying to shut Reenie up at this point, 'that marriage is like holding up a ceiling. Sometimes you're holding it together, but sometimes one person takes down their arms, and the other one has to do all the work. And at those times, it's tempting to take your arms down, too, and just let the whole damn thing fall. But if you stick it out, at some point the other person will join back in. And then 'you' get to rest."
"Of course, if they don't join back in, well, that's when you say forget it and go shopping for the cute little condo where the landlord holds up the ceiling, and you can decorate all in pink wicker if you so choose." p 300
Here is that poem:
A Marriage
by Michael Blumenthal
You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms. It is very heavy,
but you must hold it uip, or else
it will fall down on you. Your arms
are tired, terribly tired,
and, as the day goes on, it feels
as if either your arms or the ceiling
will soon collapse.
But then,
unexpectedly,
something wonderful happens:
Someone,
a man or a woman,
walks into the room,
and holds their arms up
to the ceiling beside you.
So you finally get
to take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
the blood flowing back
to your fingers and arms.
And when your partner's arms tire,
you hold up your own
to relieve him again.
And it can go on like this
for many years
without the house falling.
p 351
Favorite Quotes:
"I read this poem once,' Nancy said, and Eve bet that even she was trying to shut Reenie up at this point, 'that marriage is like holding up a ceiling. Sometimes you're holding it together, but sometimes one person takes down their arms, and the other one has to do all the work. And at those times, it's tempting to take your arms down, too, and just let the whole damn thing fall. But if you stick it out, at some point the other person will join back in. And then 'you' get to rest."
"Of course, if they don't join back in, well, that's when you say forget it and go shopping for the cute little condo where the landlord holds up the ceiling, and you can decorate all in pink wicker if you so choose." p 300
Here is that poem:
A Marriage
by Michael Blumenthal
You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms. It is very heavy,
but you must hold it uip, or else
it will fall down on you. Your arms
are tired, terribly tired,
and, as the day goes on, it feels
as if either your arms or the ceiling
will soon collapse.
But then,
unexpectedly,
something wonderful happens:
Someone,
a man or a woman,
walks into the room,
and holds their arms up
to the ceiling beside you.
So you finally get
to take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
the blood flowing back
to your fingers and arms.
And when your partner's arms tire,
you hold up your own
to relieve him again.
And it can go on like this
for many years
without the house falling.
p 351
July 30, 2012
Hmmm what would I do if my husband just went to drop off the babysitter after a routine night out to dinner and just never came back? Our protagonist, Eve kind of went with it. She didn't panic. She didn't try to get a hold of him and she was completely calm with their two kids about it. "Daddy must need a break," she says. Turns out Eric did need a break. He took the babysitter across the country so she could be with her mother and his own happened to live near by so what the hell?
Eve is coping with it as sanely as possible. She thinks her husband had an affair with the girl and has chosen to leave his family so when he does try to call eventually she ignores him. He texts with his 14 year old daughter, Magnolia so at least Eve knows he's okay.
Eric is not okay though. Eric is a sculptor and hasn't been producing in a long time and the pressure of providing for his family and not being able to do so has gotten to him and so the only thing reasonable to him is to just get away from it all.
Eve has a job as a nutritional advisor to people who want to eat right without "dieting". She has clients and after selling a statue Eric made for $10,000 she's able to keep things afloat for the time Eric stayed away (about 6 weeks).
The book was well written and a quick read. I like Hanauer's style and her pacing. She alternated between Eve's and Eric's viewpoints so we could see what each of the main character's were thinking. The way she wrote it the situation seemed plausible. The ending was just okay as I thought it was kind of abrupt but was content for the two evenings I stayed up late reading this modern marriage tale.
February 1, 2013
I've read other things written by this author, so I was really surprised by how little I cared for this book. Demographically (age, approx kids' ages), I have some things in common with the main character, Eve, and yet, I found her uncompelling, and even hard to believe. In fact, a good way in to the book (200 pages in), I was startled to realize that I still had not developed affection for any on the characters.
Eve's husband, an artist who is evidently temperamental, albeit in the blandest of ways, suddenly takes off across the country--right after date night, while ostensibly driving the college-age sitter home. (The sitter is vaguely undermining of their marriage, but also rather bland and not fleshed-out.) Over the following weeks, Eve lets his phone calls to her go unanswered. Really! She doesn't give in to any temptation to yell at him, or make sure he is OK, or ask what his plans are, or put a guilt trip on him, or ask him about any household business, NOTHING. In fact, she becomes aware that he is texting with her 14 yr old daughter, and she doesn't even peek at the texts. She just decides to soldier on as a single mom, no clue where her husband's head is, not knowing whether this will be permanent. (And unless I missed it, she doesn't seem to be devastated emotionally, nor relieved. Just, eh.) Her journey as single mom is not very compelling, either. She already works, so nothing new to take on there, and when money is a tad tight, she sells one of hubby's sculptures for 10K. No biggie!
Meanwhile, her (again, FOURTEEN YEAR OLD) daughter was insufferable to me as a reader (even right away, before dad's departure has taken a toll). I have a daughter about this age, and I cannot conceive of the dynamic here. "Magnolia" is beyond mouthy--huge chip on her shoulder, very put-upon, sneaky, snotty, vulgar. And the mom just goes with it, rather than seem "dorky and old" by putting her in her place. Wimp! Magnolia bullies her mother, who at one point drives Maggie and a fast-living friend on a mini-shopping spree on Eve's dime for things like a Victoria's Secret push-up bra. The sexy clothes, Magnolia's friend tells Eve, will really show Magnolia's "cock-sucker" ex-boyfriend. Yes, she says this to a mom. And the mom doesn't react. On the way home, Eve lets them hop out of her car to go hang with some creepy-looking grown MEN that Eve doesn't know the names of! And God forbid Eve demand a curfew, or ask for names of people, or details of where they are going. The only time Eve seems ticked is when Magnolia comes home with a nose-piercing that was poorly done by some acquaintance, and it has become infected. I didn't necessarily need for Eve to flip out on her daughter, but the behaviors and choices warranted at the very least, a sit-down conversation. Eve seemed to shrug it off with little more than an eye roll. She could discuss it with her pointless best friend, but Loretta is too self-absorbed with her new baby, so all she seems to want to talk about is how her baby is on and off her "boob."
At any rate, the amount of time I gave this book was disproportionate to what I feel I received from it, and to spend any additional time on this review would be further tipping the scale.
Eve's husband, an artist who is evidently temperamental, albeit in the blandest of ways, suddenly takes off across the country--right after date night, while ostensibly driving the college-age sitter home. (The sitter is vaguely undermining of their marriage, but also rather bland and not fleshed-out.) Over the following weeks, Eve lets his phone calls to her go unanswered. Really! She doesn't give in to any temptation to yell at him, or make sure he is OK, or ask what his plans are, or put a guilt trip on him, or ask him about any household business, NOTHING. In fact, she becomes aware that he is texting with her 14 yr old daughter, and she doesn't even peek at the texts. She just decides to soldier on as a single mom, no clue where her husband's head is, not knowing whether this will be permanent. (And unless I missed it, she doesn't seem to be devastated emotionally, nor relieved. Just, eh.) Her journey as single mom is not very compelling, either. She already works, so nothing new to take on there, and when money is a tad tight, she sells one of hubby's sculptures for 10K. No biggie!
Meanwhile, her (again, FOURTEEN YEAR OLD) daughter was insufferable to me as a reader (even right away, before dad's departure has taken a toll). I have a daughter about this age, and I cannot conceive of the dynamic here. "Magnolia" is beyond mouthy--huge chip on her shoulder, very put-upon, sneaky, snotty, vulgar. And the mom just goes with it, rather than seem "dorky and old" by putting her in her place. Wimp! Magnolia bullies her mother, who at one point drives Maggie and a fast-living friend on a mini-shopping spree on Eve's dime for things like a Victoria's Secret push-up bra. The sexy clothes, Magnolia's friend tells Eve, will really show Magnolia's "cock-sucker" ex-boyfriend. Yes, she says this to a mom. And the mom doesn't react. On the way home, Eve lets them hop out of her car to go hang with some creepy-looking grown MEN that Eve doesn't know the names of! And God forbid Eve demand a curfew, or ask for names of people, or details of where they are going. The only time Eve seems ticked is when Magnolia comes home with a nose-piercing that was poorly done by some acquaintance, and it has become infected. I didn't necessarily need for Eve to flip out on her daughter, but the behaviors and choices warranted at the very least, a sit-down conversation. Eve seemed to shrug it off with little more than an eye roll. She could discuss it with her pointless best friend, but Loretta is too self-absorbed with her new baby, so all she seems to want to talk about is how her baby is on and off her "boob."
At any rate, the amount of time I gave this book was disproportionate to what I feel I received from it, and to spend any additional time on this review would be further tipping the scale.
November 11, 2014
I tagged this as a "chick-lit" only because I felt it had little substance. Gone is about a married couple with a child who move through their marriage on parallel lines. The mother, Eve, is described as a take charge woman who is also a stay at home mother/diet consultant to their 14 year old daughter, Magnolia. Eric, the husband/dad is a struggling artist who looses his way as the dominate male in the family. Sounds good? It could have been. But what makes this story a 2 star rating is the fact that Eric decides one night to drive cross country with the babysitter to visit his mother in AZ and drop off the babysitter along the way at her mothers. No notice. No phone call. No warning. But...that's not all. Eve doesn't care. In fact she doesn't care about anything and this once take charge women is failing on all levels including as a mother.
Please understand that it's a 2 star rating based on whether I enjoyed or didn't enjoy the book. It's not about style of writing, sentence structure or reading level, it's purely enjoyment factor. I didn't enjoy it. In fact, I couldn't wait for the book to be finished.
If my husband decided to leave with the babysitter regardless if he called or not, you can bet your tush I would change the house locks, pile up his belongings in the garage and serve him with papers. There is no room for negotiation, period.
Please understand that it's a 2 star rating based on whether I enjoyed or didn't enjoy the book. It's not about style of writing, sentence structure or reading level, it's purely enjoyment factor. I didn't enjoy it. In fact, I couldn't wait for the book to be finished.
If my husband decided to leave with the babysitter regardless if he called or not, you can bet your tush I would change the house locks, pile up his belongings in the garage and serve him with papers. There is no room for negotiation, period.
April 2, 2013
I have no idea what review I read that made me think I would like this book. Basically it is about a man leaving his wife and two kids after 15-or-so years of marriage. He's having a mid-life crisis because he can no longer create sculptures (waaaaaaaaaaaah!) and his wife, an annoying nutritionist carries on stoically without him in a totally unrealistic fashion.
The man is annoying baby. The wife is also annoying, especially as she "counts the skinny people" in the mall, much to her chagrin it is filled with too many fatties (you'd think that would give her job security.) She's super condescending to her clients, and it is totally unhealthy how she doesn't react emotionally to her husband's up and leaving the family. So weird.
The ending was even more vomit inducing. However, this book still gets 3 stars because it is hard to write about marriage in small ways, looking back on the day to day things that make marriage challenging. The ancillary characters were very real and likable, but the main characters were impossible to relate to and obnoxious.
The man is annoying baby. The wife is also annoying, especially as she "counts the skinny people" in the mall, much to her chagrin it is filled with too many fatties (you'd think that would give her job security.) She's super condescending to her clients, and it is totally unhealthy how she doesn't react emotionally to her husband's up and leaving the family. So weird.
The ending was even more vomit inducing. However, this book still gets 3 stars because it is hard to write about marriage in small ways, looking back on the day to day things that make marriage challenging. The ancillary characters were very real and likable, but the main characters were impossible to relate to and obnoxious.
January 6, 2013
Nutritionist Eve Adams has two children and a husband, Eric, whose sculpture career is stalled. He takes off one night to drive a babysitter home and is not heard from for a few days. Eve thinks the worst, and we the readers do too, for at least a little while. Then the author starts to let us in on Eric's state of mind. He is clearly having a mid-life crisis. Eventually the family learns he is in Tucson, where he stays with his mother and starts teaching kung fu. He communicates with his daughter via texts, but his phone call messages to Eve yield no return communications. Eve is steaming mad, overwhelmed by this period of sudden single parenthood and the demands of her profession, including some interesting clients with food-related problems. This was an engaging domestic drama with characters I really felt close to, very satisfying..... Get out your hankie and prepare to care!
June 13, 2012
A nutritionist, Eve Adams is caught up in raising her two children, serving her clients and handling their health as well as family problems. She has a full life. Her husband Eric is a sculptor who has lost his motivation and drive; he has no other concerns in life. Eve seems to handle the children all on her own. One evening, he drives off while taking the babysitter home and doesn't return. An interesting look at relationships, family, careers. I focused mostly on Eve and Eric's story and skipped over the people that Eve becomes involved in helping as part of her work as a nutritionist. I'm not sure how they fit in with the couple's personal story.
January 16, 2016
Eve Adams has worked part-time and taken care of her children while supporting her husband the sculptor. He has had some success in the past but now seems to be in a creative slump. Eve has taken her knowledge of food and written a book and counsels people how to eat healthy and lose weight. Her business is growing, the book goes into a second printing. Her husband, Eric. takes her out to celebrate. She thought the evening went fine until her husband leaves to take home the sitter and disappears.
She has no idea where he went or what is going on but the sitter is missing too. She needs to take care of the kids, the house and the bills and wait to her from her husband. Is he gone forever?
Dollycas's Thoughts
The characters in this story were very interesting. For the most part real and each with their own set of flaws. The one thing that bothered me about this book was passivity of the wife. I understand staying strong for your kids, being scared for the future, and not wanting people to know your husband left you but I felt she needed to put more effort into what was really going on, especially after the husband contacted their daughter. She took on the whole load herself including their quickly emptying checkbook.
I wanted to hate Eric for just running away but he was definitely suffering from a major case of depression. I felt terrible for the kids and Eve had her hands full with a teenager trying to make the most of her father's absence by putting herself into some dangerous situations and a son just trying to understand why his dad left.
This is a story of family dynamics, trying to balance everything, work, kids, family, marriage and life in general. The ending was just too easy for me. This was a major upheaval in this marriage and the reactions of all the characters just seemed off.
The characters may not have acted in the way I wanted but this was still a good story of a very complicated life circumstances. I think that is what the author was going for, unexpected reactions by the characters. Otherwise this book would be like thousands of others. Written this way it creates conflict for the reader which got us involved in the story. You are actually upset with the way things are playing out and the pages keep turning.
Yes, I am a bit conflicted. This is not a story that I am going to scream and shout that you must read but it still a worthy read. It may be a good group read because I think it would prompt healthy discussion. Sometimes we need a story like this to shake up our views a bit.
She has no idea where he went or what is going on but the sitter is missing too. She needs to take care of the kids, the house and the bills and wait to her from her husband. Is he gone forever?
Dollycas's Thoughts
The characters in this story were very interesting. For the most part real and each with their own set of flaws. The one thing that bothered me about this book was passivity of the wife. I understand staying strong for your kids, being scared for the future, and not wanting people to know your husband left you but I felt she needed to put more effort into what was really going on, especially after the husband contacted their daughter. She took on the whole load herself including their quickly emptying checkbook.
I wanted to hate Eric for just running away but he was definitely suffering from a major case of depression. I felt terrible for the kids and Eve had her hands full with a teenager trying to make the most of her father's absence by putting herself into some dangerous situations and a son just trying to understand why his dad left.
This is a story of family dynamics, trying to balance everything, work, kids, family, marriage and life in general. The ending was just too easy for me. This was a major upheaval in this marriage and the reactions of all the characters just seemed off.
The characters may not have acted in the way I wanted but this was still a good story of a very complicated life circumstances. I think that is what the author was going for, unexpected reactions by the characters. Otherwise this book would be like thousands of others. Written this way it creates conflict for the reader which got us involved in the story. You are actually upset with the way things are playing out and the pages keep turning.
Yes, I am a bit conflicted. This is not a story that I am going to scream and shout that you must read but it still a worthy read. It may be a good group read because I think it would prompt healthy discussion. Sometimes we need a story like this to shake up our views a bit.
July 12, 2012
Simply an amazing book! Gone is a story about marriage, family and finding yourself. Cathi has done a remarkable job of character depiction - they seem so real, I can imagine them living next door. What a nightmare for any woman to think your husband has run off with the babysitter!
Gone is told from both points of view, Eric's and Eve's. Although the pace is slow, it's intricacies are the foundation for the instability of the marriage and how Eve and Eric work on not only trying to save their marriage, but to save a bit of their souls.
Eve is a nutrionist and it really was a bit overboard in that aspect with all of her advice, but I found most of it educational. The dialogue, thoughts and actions of their two children seemed real, as they and Eve move on with their lives without Eric. I actually hated to see it end. Cathi writes with such openness, perception and tenacity. With middle age starting to creep upon me, as well as the idea of my kids moving out in the next year or two, I could easily relate to many issues within this fantastic tale. If you haven't read anything by Cathi Hanauer yet, you've been missing out!
Gone is told from both points of view, Eric's and Eve's. Although the pace is slow, it's intricacies are the foundation for the instability of the marriage and how Eve and Eric work on not only trying to save their marriage, but to save a bit of their souls.
Eve is a nutrionist and it really was a bit overboard in that aspect with all of her advice, but I found most of it educational. The dialogue, thoughts and actions of their two children seemed real, as they and Eve move on with their lives without Eric. I actually hated to see it end. Cathi writes with such openness, perception and tenacity. With middle age starting to creep upon me, as well as the idea of my kids moving out in the next year or two, I could easily relate to many issues within this fantastic tale. If you haven't read anything by Cathi Hanauer yet, you've been missing out!
July 30, 2012
What I enjoyed about this book the most is that the author didn't try to sugercoat the ups and downs of marriage. The author allowed both Eve and Eric to make mistakes, and treated those mistakes not as epic failures but just as a part of their evolution individually and as a couple.
The concept that mistakes are made, and that that doesn't nessasarily mean that it's the end, is central to this book. With so many stories focusing on the dumping of the cheating/lying spouse as the answer for all the woes of middle-aged life, this certianly was a breath of fresh air. Instead, the answer here is that change is needed for survivial. Couples change, and evolve, or they are not truly *living* together.
The concept that mistakes are made, and that that doesn't nessasarily mean that it's the end, is central to this book. With so many stories focusing on the dumping of the cheating/lying spouse as the answer for all the woes of middle-aged life, this certianly was a breath of fresh air. Instead, the answer here is that change is needed for survivial. Couples change, and evolve, or they are not truly *living* together.
October 11, 2012
I had high hopes for this book, and its advertised story of forgiveness. Instead I found it preachy, with too-quick resolutions to tough problems like diet, exercise, obesity, and depression. For the brief dialogue about abstract forgiveness, we never learn how the characters actually do forgive....unless pretending like events never happened is the author's practice. I kept reading in the hopes the book would get better, but now I just wish I had those hours back. Don't worry, author.... I forgive you.
September 6, 2012
This was a fast read, but I had a hard time liking either of the main characters. While realistic in its portrayal of a marriage, both of their behavior just made me want to bang my head against a wall. And while everything about the nutrition and crap diets Americans eat is true, I felt like I was being lectured to the first half of the book.
December 10, 2012
It was ok. I thought it was weird that the author spent so much time giving us facts about nutrition and depression. And I just didn't buy the fact that the main character accepted the husband back with so little discussion or questions. One of the main reasons the couple was having problems was a lack of communication, and then they barely even discuss what went wrong.
February 11, 2016
This simple title could refer to so many people and things in this story of loss and ultimately, of restoration. A career, a marriage, a family - all are potentially "gone" as the two central characters struggle with alienation before they rediscover each other and a new road to the future.
August 11, 2012
Slow and slightly boring. I got through it but I was sorry I wasted my time.
September 20, 2012
I thought this was ponderous and slow, predictable. I found myself skimming it, just wanting to confirm that it ended the way I could predict it would. Meh.
October 10, 2012
Great book about a couple whose marriage is in trouble. When the wife's career takes off, the husband leaves to take the babysitter home and does not return. What an asshole!!
April 2, 2014
A lovely and painful mediation on what a long marriage means.
January 6, 2019
I loved this! Hanauer has accomplished something very impressive to me - painting a portrait of everyday life raising school age children. I was a little frustrated by husband Eric’s cluelessness, and as much as this is a book about marriage, in another way it’s not because the husband and wife are almost never together or communicating. But at the end she gets to the core of marriage and commitment for all of its ups and downs.
I liked the focus on Eve’s work and the healthy eating tips, clearly well researched. Fourteen-year-old Magnolia was heartbreakingly believable. Eve faces what all moms of teenagers face - our babies growing up into people we can sometimes barely stand.
I guess I buy into Eric’s problems stemming from depression, but that diagnosis seemed to let him off the hook in ways he didn’t deserve. I loved his mom, Penelope. The second to last scene, where Eve walks around Brooklyn and Manhattan, was delicious. 4.5 stars.
I liked the focus on Eve’s work and the healthy eating tips, clearly well researched. Fourteen-year-old Magnolia was heartbreakingly believable. Eve faces what all moms of teenagers face - our babies growing up into people we can sometimes barely stand.
I guess I buy into Eric’s problems stemming from depression, but that diagnosis seemed to let him off the hook in ways he didn’t deserve. I loved his mom, Penelope. The second to last scene, where Eve walks around Brooklyn and Manhattan, was delicious. 4.5 stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 16, 2017
Modern life and love is what "Gone" is all about. It's the beautiful story of a marriage and it will resonate with anyone who has ever struggled in a relationship to reconcile love against ambivalence, loyalty against the lure of solitude an domestic fidelity against the call of an open road. How no matter what changes are made during your years together, the one important thing is constant.
September 5, 2016
This was a book that had languished on my shelves for several years. I've been reading lots of contemporary relationship-based novels lately, so decided to squeeze this one in. For some reason, I wasn't expecting anything original...especially with the premise of a husband running away with a babysitter.
I appreciated how my expectations were exceeded a little. Eve, the wife left behind, is realistically forced to get on with life in order to pay bills and keep the family intact. While Eve is obviously distraught, the novel doesn't get bogged down in this event, even though it's the "crux" of the story. We get to hear about her career, and the impact she makes as a nutritionist. Her clients are fully fleshed out, and not relegated to one dimensional side characters. Eve has an existence and defined purpose outside of wife and motherhood. How nice to see this highlighted in a positive way, even with her emotional struggles.
There were a couple problems.While I am a huge exercise advocate, and try my best with healthy foods, I found the "health preaching" a little overdone. There were random tips and bits of what Eve was eating (while not with clients) that felt out of place in the context of what was happening in the current scene. I got a bit tired of hearing from her husband's perspective, even though he needed page time in order to make the novel sensical. I wanted to sympathize with him more, but felt he was mostly a huge baby, when what he needed was more of a swift kick in the nether region. However, anyone in a relationship is familiar with ebbs and flows, and perhaps this highlights my vengeful personality:-P
I did appreciate Hanauer's stance on medication, which is one I share. Prescription drug abuse and needless medicines aside, I do think medication is necessary in many instances. Meditation, prayer, lifestyle changes, and "trying" go a long way, but if God created Doctors, Nurses, and Researchers and gave them the ability to give us a pill a day with minimal side effects, but also the ability to recover joy....why not?
As in any book featuring children, I try to relate to the parent's current dilemma. In this, Eve talks about her eight year old son's changing skin smell when she hugs him. Perhaps this sounds odd, but I love smelling my little girls in the nape of their necks- sweet and fresh smelling, like only youth can have before puberty. "He came over and embraced her, and she breathed in his smell, sweet and familiar, though also tinged, she'd noticed lately, with something new: a touch of pungency, a lessening of the sweetness." (Pg. 165). I can't bear to think about this happening, even though I know it's inevitable.
Did it change my life? No, but I think this is a decent portrait of a troubled marriage...especially years into a union where priorities shift, people change, and things need adjusting in general- because life is STRESSFUL. There are some beautiful phrases thrown in as a bonus to any poetry lovers as well.
I appreciated how my expectations were exceeded a little. Eve, the wife left behind, is realistically forced to get on with life in order to pay bills and keep the family intact. While Eve is obviously distraught, the novel doesn't get bogged down in this event, even though it's the "crux" of the story. We get to hear about her career, and the impact she makes as a nutritionist. Her clients are fully fleshed out, and not relegated to one dimensional side characters. Eve has an existence and defined purpose outside of wife and motherhood. How nice to see this highlighted in a positive way, even with her emotional struggles.
There were a couple problems.While I am a huge exercise advocate, and try my best with healthy foods, I found the "health preaching" a little overdone. There were random tips and bits of what Eve was eating (while not with clients) that felt out of place in the context of what was happening in the current scene. I got a bit tired of hearing from her husband's perspective, even though he needed page time in order to make the novel sensical. I wanted to sympathize with him more, but felt he was mostly a huge baby, when what he needed was more of a swift kick in the nether region. However, anyone in a relationship is familiar with ebbs and flows, and perhaps this highlights my vengeful personality:-P
I did appreciate Hanauer's stance on medication, which is one I share. Prescription drug abuse and needless medicines aside, I do think medication is necessary in many instances. Meditation, prayer, lifestyle changes, and "trying" go a long way, but if God created Doctors, Nurses, and Researchers and gave them the ability to give us a pill a day with minimal side effects, but also the ability to recover joy....why not?
As in any book featuring children, I try to relate to the parent's current dilemma. In this, Eve talks about her eight year old son's changing skin smell when she hugs him. Perhaps this sounds odd, but I love smelling my little girls in the nape of their necks- sweet and fresh smelling, like only youth can have before puberty. "He came over and embraced her, and she breathed in his smell, sweet and familiar, though also tinged, she'd noticed lately, with something new: a touch of pungency, a lessening of the sweetness." (Pg. 165). I can't bear to think about this happening, even though I know it's inevitable.
Did it change my life? No, but I think this is a decent portrait of a troubled marriage...especially years into a union where priorities shift, people change, and things need adjusting in general- because life is STRESSFUL. There are some beautiful phrases thrown in as a bonus to any poetry lovers as well.
August 12, 2018
I was struck by how the husband couldn't create art from joy any more after 9/11, and when he couldn't sell what he now created, he couldn't work any more and how this made him soul sick. Also he feels unneeded. These felt like very real things to me.
I could understand where the wife was coming from.
Hanauer doesn't try to make people look nice, it doesn't seem like she's trying to gloss anything over to make the character likeable. The wife makes a big mistake early on in her marriage. There were elements of that mistake, though, that I didn't find to be that real. Sexual attraction that's an addiction? It was odd. Then to go back to meet that guy after she was married and after that guy had dumped her. It seemed out of character, forced, but it was good from a plot point of view because it made it easier for me to forgive the husband later. Maybe it wasn't in an earlier draft and the editor suggested it so it would be easier to redeem the husband.
I loved how the wife's feelings about being abandoned and her ability to carry on alone evolved over time.
I found the nutrition counseling fascinating. I also loved the way minor characters were depicted. Her clients were so real to me. Keisha's dialog was well done, I thought, and Michael, a 600 pound man, the way he was depicted was amazing. I learned a lot from that tragedy.
I also liked the insights into marriage that the husband has when he returns home and the way he comes home.
A first rate novel.
I could understand where the wife was coming from.
Hanauer doesn't try to make people look nice, it doesn't seem like she's trying to gloss anything over to make the character likeable. The wife makes a big mistake early on in her marriage. There were elements of that mistake, though, that I didn't find to be that real. Sexual attraction that's an addiction? It was odd. Then to go back to meet that guy after she was married and after that guy had dumped her. It seemed out of character, forced, but it was good from a plot point of view because it made it easier for me to forgive the husband later. Maybe it wasn't in an earlier draft and the editor suggested it so it would be easier to redeem the husband.
I loved how the wife's feelings about being abandoned and her ability to carry on alone evolved over time.
I found the nutrition counseling fascinating. I also loved the way minor characters were depicted. Her clients were so real to me. Keisha's dialog was well done, I thought, and Michael, a 600 pound man, the way he was depicted was amazing. I learned a lot from that tragedy.
I also liked the insights into marriage that the husband has when he returns home and the way he comes home.
A first rate novel.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 1, 2012
This book started out well and I was interested to read more when Eric, husband of Eve and father of two, leaves for a road trip with the babysitter. Eve only knows that Eric is gone and with whom and so she begins to live her life without Eric. I thought Hanauer did a nice job of the dialogues of an 8 year-old and a 14 year-old; they came across as believable and current. And I also enjoyed the food parts as Eve is a nutritionist, and I am interested in eating healthier. But the book did drag on especially the last 100 pages or so.
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