Love Me Slender: How Smart Couples Team Up to Lose Weight, Exercise More, and Stay Healthy Together

by Thomas N. Bradbury, Benjamin R. Karney

My husband keeps undermining my diet. My wife keeps nagging me to exercise. I want to be healthier, but I can't do it on my own!

First comes love, then comes marriage . . . then comes a larger pant size? Many couples find themselves gaining weight as they settle into a relationship, but some couples manage to buck this trend. They exercise (together or separately), they support each other's healthy eating habits, and their relationships are stronger as a result. What are their secrets?

It turns out that many of us are ignoring the most powerful tool we have to help us get healthier and stay healthier--our spouse or significant other. For more than twenty years, Drs. Thomas Bradbury and Benjamin Karney, codirectors of the Relationship Institute at UCLA, have been studying how couples communicate around these issues, witnessing firsthand how partners can help (and hinder) one another's progress toward better health. In Love Me Slender, they identify the specific principles that successful couples use in their quest to improve their health. Learn:

Why reassurance and praise can actually backfire when you're trying to change your partner's habits--and what to say instead.

What your spouse can tell you (that no one else can) to shift your attention toward your long-term health goals.

How even if only one partner resolves to become healthier, both partners will benefit.

How to nudge your partner toward a healthier lifestyle in subtle, effective ways--without them even noticing it.

Featuring self-assessments and case studies from real couples working to stay healthy together, Love Me Slender is an eye-opening, uplifting guide to changing the dynamic of your relationship and improving your health--and the health of those you love most.

336 pages, Hardcover

First published May 7, 2013

About the author

THOMAS N. BRADBURY earned a BA in psychobiology from Hamilton College, a MA in general psychology from Wake Forest University, and a PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Illinois. A Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles,since 1990, Dr. Bradbury has received awards for teaching, mentoring, and research, including the distinguished Early Career Award in 1998 from the American Psychological Association and an honorary academic degree, the Laurea Honoris Causa, in 2013 from Università Cattolica del Sacro Cuore in Milan, Italy. Bradbury and his wife of 25 years, Cindy, a neuroscientist at UCLA, have two children and one large Bernese Mountain Dog; they live in Westwood. Watch videotapes of Bradbury's talks and his interviews with couples at: https://www.youtube.com/user/UCLARela...

Reviews

[Nick Salenga · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book in uplifting guide to changing dynamic of your relationship & improving your health of those you love most.

[Tima · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most individuals tend to work better towards a goal when they have encouragement or an audience. Working with statistics and data that supports this, the authors have created a book that is part diet book, part marriage counselor, and part life style change. The book covers how to work with your partner to change your way of eating and exercising so that it benefits both of you. They focus primarily on communication and how this works between partners trying to diet.

The concept is great. The text was easy to read and understand. It addresses quite a few of the communications issues that tend to happen between men and women when one or both want to lose weight. The humorous touches made for an enjoyable read. Check out this book if you want support from your spouse as you lose weight.

I received this book free of charge from Simon and Schuster in exchange for my honest review.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was all pretty much everything I already knew. But, It was good to reinforce those subjects into my mind! For example: Partners who exercise together usually lose more weight. The authors did go into 3 main principles of how to lose more weight together and most of it was based on communication. We can understand one another better if we use words in a more positive light. For example, instead of saying You never listen to what I need when it comes to eating better. Say: I understand that you want help in knowing what kinds of foods are better for you, so I will help you make better decisions. Or something like that. This was an interesting read, but it wasn't what I was really looking for in the book. But, it was still interesting and i would recommend the book to other couples who might need help in this subject matter.

[*Angela* · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for couples or anyone in a relationship looking to lose weight. The ideas in the book are based on the authors' research of a variety of couples where one or both partners are trying to lose weight or live a healthier lifestyle. The focus is on effective communication: how to effectively encourage your partner and/or how to include your partner as a support in your weight loss journey. Through examples of conversations between the couples researched, the authors point out the pitfalls in their conversations and give suggestions on how both sides of the discussion could have been more supportive or effective.

*ARC courtesy of Touchstone provided by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*

[Darjeeling · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a social psychologist and a relationship researcher and I heartily endorse this book and the wisdom it imparts. It is written in a very accessible manner and is chock full of insights generated from the authors' extensive research program with real couples. Thomas Bradbury and Benjamin Karney are widely respected and extremely well regarded researchers in the field of relationship science, so they know what they are talking about here. I learned a lot reading the book, even though I have been reading about and studying relationships for more than two decades. Their advice is practical and offers encouragement to all couples, no matter where the individual partners are at in their quest to "eat better and move more."

[Raphael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book!

This was really inspiring! The feeling of been there said that was constantly present! I really think this book is going to improve the way both myself and my wife handle these delicate situations.

Merged review:

Great book!

This was really inspiring! The feeling of been there said that was constantly present! I really think this book is going to improve the way both myself and my wife handle these delicate situations.