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The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness
The word “forgive” is not, as many people think, one dimensional. It doesn’t just mean “let go and let God”—a challenge for anyone who has experienced traumatizing abuse, injustice, neglect or abandonment. In The Unburdened Heart, Suzanne Eller explores with readers the multiple facets of forgiveness found in the Scriptures, focusing in particular on the idea of “leaving one place to go to another.” Believers can, with the help of God’s Spirit, leave pain to find wholeness, leave regret to find purpose and leave the past to live fully in the present. The Unburdened Heart uses the power of story along with biblical teaching to lead readers into healing and a forgiving lifestyle.
206 pages, Paperback
First published February 20, 2013
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266 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
December 14, 2017
Life-changing, helpful, clear understanding. I felt that Suzie Eller knew what was in my heart and what I need to do. I discovered God's truth and where I needed to stand. I recommend this book to others frequently.
July 23, 2015
Summary:
Forgiveness in the dictionary is defined as a noun. But, forgiveness is not just a noun it is an action of the heart, mind, and will. Further, Christ Jesus commands us to forgive.
Part one begins with explaining what forgiveness means and what it does not mean. Later in the book an explanation is given on forgiving self.
Page 58 has questions to ask to see if we need to work on forgiveness. These questions are pulled from another book by David Seamands, Healing for Damaged Emotions.
"1. Can you thank God for the lessons learned in pain?
2. Can you talk about the event without anger or feelings of revenge?
3. Have you accepted your part of the blame for what happened?
4. Can you revisit the scene without a negative reaction?"
Other quotes are used in the book from previous authors, for example: Dr. Irvin D Yalom-The Gift of Therapy, Kay Arthur's-When the Hurt Runs Deep, Patrick Fleming and Sue Lauber-Fleming-Shattered Soul, Charles Stanley's-The Gift of Forgiveness, and Lewis Smedes-Forgive and Forget.
There are three parts to the book, part one and three holds one chapter each, part two has several chapters.
"Part 1-What Is Forgiveness?
Part 2-What We Gain When We Forgive
Part 3-What's Next?"
My Thoughts:
Forgiving is laborious. It's sweaty-work. And it is often not achieved by one exclamation of-I forgive you."
Over 20 years ago, I read Forgive and Forget by Lewis Smedes. I read this book while going through a dark and troubling time. I was a baby Christian at this point, but working through forgiveness pushed me out of the nest and towards rapid growth in Christ Jesus. Hard times in life either cause growth or stagnation. I chose growth.
The Unburdened Heart is a perfect tool for a woman working through forgiveness. The book is not written for men, but for women. The illustrations and applications are female oriented.
One of the illustrations is a women betrayed by her husband's affair. Maybe the reader has not experienced this type of pain, but betrayal in some form is known to all.
A hard topic in forgiveness is: what if the other person is not asking for forgiveness? Eller approaches this topic with grace and help in chiseling away at this problem.
After reading The Unburdened Heart, my first thought is this is a book that does not just teach forgiveness, but also teaches peace. Peace is the absence of strife. Peace does not just happen, because this too requires work.
One of my favorite quotes from the book addresses the past:
When I consider the past, it's a small part of my identity. It shaped me, but it doesn't define me. It is a chapter in the book of my life; but if you read the back cover copy you will find so much more than my past in that description...When we begin to see ourselves through a larger lens, we revisit the past and point out with precision the parts we wish hadn't happened, as well as what has taken place since then. We also become scholars of the past, learning what we want to carry forward and what we wish to do differently. When we speak of the past, we give it its proper place. It's not ignored, but it doesn't receive a greater share than it deserves.
I know family and friends who have magnified a certain event in their past. Something someone did to them or maybe they've done to themselves. They carry this memory tightly bundled on their back, every where they go they carry this bundle, they don't realize this event has gotten top billing. I loved Eller's point to not give this event "a greater share than it deserves."
The Unburdened Heart is a book for individual or group use. I believe this is a great book for a women's reading group.
Forgiveness in the dictionary is defined as a noun. But, forgiveness is not just a noun it is an action of the heart, mind, and will. Further, Christ Jesus commands us to forgive.
Part one begins with explaining what forgiveness means and what it does not mean. Later in the book an explanation is given on forgiving self.
Page 58 has questions to ask to see if we need to work on forgiveness. These questions are pulled from another book by David Seamands, Healing for Damaged Emotions.
"1. Can you thank God for the lessons learned in pain?
2. Can you talk about the event without anger or feelings of revenge?
3. Have you accepted your part of the blame for what happened?
4. Can you revisit the scene without a negative reaction?"
Other quotes are used in the book from previous authors, for example: Dr. Irvin D Yalom-The Gift of Therapy, Kay Arthur's-When the Hurt Runs Deep, Patrick Fleming and Sue Lauber-Fleming-Shattered Soul, Charles Stanley's-The Gift of Forgiveness, and Lewis Smedes-Forgive and Forget.
There are three parts to the book, part one and three holds one chapter each, part two has several chapters.
"Part 1-What Is Forgiveness?
Part 2-What We Gain When We Forgive
Part 3-What's Next?"
My Thoughts:
Forgiving is laborious. It's sweaty-work. And it is often not achieved by one exclamation of-I forgive you."
Over 20 years ago, I read Forgive and Forget by Lewis Smedes. I read this book while going through a dark and troubling time. I was a baby Christian at this point, but working through forgiveness pushed me out of the nest and towards rapid growth in Christ Jesus. Hard times in life either cause growth or stagnation. I chose growth.
The Unburdened Heart is a perfect tool for a woman working through forgiveness. The book is not written for men, but for women. The illustrations and applications are female oriented.
One of the illustrations is a women betrayed by her husband's affair. Maybe the reader has not experienced this type of pain, but betrayal in some form is known to all.
A hard topic in forgiveness is: what if the other person is not asking for forgiveness? Eller approaches this topic with grace and help in chiseling away at this problem.
After reading The Unburdened Heart, my first thought is this is a book that does not just teach forgiveness, but also teaches peace. Peace is the absence of strife. Peace does not just happen, because this too requires work.
One of my favorite quotes from the book addresses the past:
When I consider the past, it's a small part of my identity. It shaped me, but it doesn't define me. It is a chapter in the book of my life; but if you read the back cover copy you will find so much more than my past in that description...When we begin to see ourselves through a larger lens, we revisit the past and point out with precision the parts we wish hadn't happened, as well as what has taken place since then. We also become scholars of the past, learning what we want to carry forward and what we wish to do differently. When we speak of the past, we give it its proper place. It's not ignored, but it doesn't receive a greater share than it deserves.
I know family and friends who have magnified a certain event in their past. Something someone did to them or maybe they've done to themselves. They carry this memory tightly bundled on their back, every where they go they carry this bundle, they don't realize this event has gotten top billing. I loved Eller's point to not give this event "a greater share than it deserves."
The Unburdened Heart is a book for individual or group use. I believe this is a great book for a women's reading group.
April 18, 2016
This book shows that forgiveness is an attitude of the heart, and by forgiving we are making the choice to show grace and mercy to others as God has shown to us! We are all sinners, and offense may be taken too quickly, so the author points out it is wise to choose your battles carefully and most importantly, work on not taking offense easily by what others say and do to you. As long as you know your identity and value in Christ, it is easier to forgive others and overlook slights. The author does point out that forgiveness does not mean that you have to accept hurtful and abusive behavior; you can love and forgive someone but refuse to subject yourself to their abuse. My favorite part of the book was when the author found out someone was gossiping about her, she asked her concerned friend if the gossip could affect her marriage or children and was told no, so the author told her she didn't care to hear what was being said or who was saying it. Her friend was shocked, but the author correctly points out that we do not need to defend ourselves against gossip and untruths, the Lord will do that for us! We are called as Christians to exemplify Christlike behavior, and wasting negative energy takes away from what is truly important. I highly recommend this book and all Proverbs 31 ministry books to those looking to grow in Christ!
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April 18, 2016Freedom in Forgiving!
This book shows that forgiveness is an attitude of the heart, and by forgiving we are making the choice to show grace and mercy to others as God has shown to us! We are all sinners, and offense may be taken too quickly, so the author points out it is wise to choose your battles carefully and most importantly, work on not taking offense easily by what others say and do to you. As long as you know your identity and value in Christ, it is easier to forgive others and overlook slights. The author does point out that forgiveness does not mean that you have to accept hurtful and abusive behavior; you can love and forgive someone but refuse to subject yourself to their abuse. My favorite part of the book was when the author found out someone was gossiping about her, she asked her concerned friend if the gossip could affect her marriage or children and was told no, so the author told her she didn't care to hear what was being said or who was saying it. Her friend was shocked, but the author correctly points out that we do not need to defend ourselves against gossip and untruths, the Lord will do that for us! We are called as Christians to exemplify Christlike behavior, and wasting negative energy takes away from what is truly important. I highly recommend this book and all Proverbs 31 ministry books to those looking to grow in Christ!
This book shows that forgiveness is an attitude of the heart, and by forgiving we are making the choice to show grace and mercy to others as God has shown to us! We are all sinners, and offense may be taken too quickly, so the author points out it is wise to choose your battles carefully and most importantly, work on not taking offense easily by what others say and do to you. As long as you know your identity and value in Christ, it is easier to forgive others and overlook slights. The author does point out that forgiveness does not mean that you have to accept hurtful and abusive behavior; you can love and forgive someone but refuse to subject yourself to their abuse. My favorite part of the book was when the author found out someone was gossiping about her, she asked her concerned friend if the gossip could affect her marriage or children and was told no, so the author told her she didn't care to hear what was being said or who was saying it. Her friend was shocked, but the author correctly points out that we do not need to defend ourselves against gossip and untruths, the Lord will do that for us! We are called as Christians to exemplify Christlike behavior, and wasting negative energy takes away from what is truly important. I highly recommend this book and all Proverbs 31 ministry books to those looking to grow in Christ!
April 8, 2013
Let's be honest: the topic of forgiveness (and the act thereof) is a hard one to talk about, let alone deal with. But fortunately for us, author, Suzie Eller has beautifully crafted a heartfelt, genuine guide to help each of her readers on their journey towards healing and yes, total forgiveness. From the petty, little issues that get in our way and cause us to garner resentment towards one another, to the catastrophic life events that threaten to damage our souls and break our spirits, Suzie covers it all. Her writing voice exudes compassion, love, and creates a safe place where readers can finally begin to fully grasp what the act of forgiveness means (and looks like). There's something for everyone in this book (as it pertains to this issue), and is definitely one I consider to be a "must-read."
August 30, 2016
Suzanne puts into words what "The Unburdened Heart" of forgiveness brings to those who question the why or how behind forgiving. With scriptural reference the parallels are clear.
The "Freedom" that comes from letting go and letting God heal the aches from past hurts, mistakes or regrets, is the victory that clears the soul.
Forgiving others is not for them, it instead is a release of toxic emotion that liberates the heart.
This book provokes an intrinsic inner reflection that defies the insurmountable task. The benefit is the ultimate victory within.
The "Freedom" that comes from letting go and letting God heal the aches from past hurts, mistakes or regrets, is the victory that clears the soul.
Forgiving others is not for them, it instead is a release of toxic emotion that liberates the heart.
This book provokes an intrinsic inner reflection that defies the insurmountable task. The benefit is the ultimate victory within.
August 23, 2015
Great explanations of what being forgiving really means
Keller thoroughly several different types of forgiveness and explained why we, as the forgiver, need that - how it frees us. I had concerns in one chapter that she was saying that forgiveness always had to mean reconciliation but at the end of that chapter, she explained that's not the case.
If you are in a difficult circumstance that requires you to forgive, this book is worth reading, if you have little things that you need to learn to forgive in the every day life it's also worth reading.
Keller thoroughly several different types of forgiveness and explained why we, as the forgiver, need that - how it frees us. I had concerns in one chapter that she was saying that forgiveness always had to mean reconciliation but at the end of that chapter, she explained that's not the case.
If you are in a difficult circumstance that requires you to forgive, this book is worth reading, if you have little things that you need to learn to forgive in the every day life it's also worth reading.
October 3, 2013
Enjoyed this book. Made me take a look at some of the things in my life that I need to work through (from childhood to now). Written like a friendly conversation, with lots of personal stories to shine light into what she's talking about. Questions at the end of each chapter helped to dig a little deeper into what she was hoping you'd gain. All in all, I'd recommend it to anyone.
December 1, 2015
Wonderful book!
Forgiveness is freeing and so often we forget. Suzanne Eller opens up on how forgiveness breaks the chains that hold us back from truly living in the freedom and peace God has for us!
Forgiveness is freeing and so often we forget. Suzanne Eller opens up on how forgiveness breaks the chains that hold us back from truly living in the freedom and peace God has for us!
January 3, 2014
Wonderful book dealing with forgiveness.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews