Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology

by Cory O'Brien, Sarah E. Melville (Illustrator)

All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified. Wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are just a few gems to consider:

� Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed.

� The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone.

� The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies.

� The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace.


And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

Genres: Mythology, Nonfiction, Humor, History, Comedy, Religion, Short Stories

304 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2013

About the author

Cory O’Brien is the author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes and George Washington Is Cash Money. He has written for numerous award-winning video games, including Monster Prom and Holovista, and designed multiple tabletop games, including Inhuman Conditions and Hand to Hand Wombat. He lives in Chicago.

Reviews

[Helen 2.0 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sigh. I hate to sound like a constipated bitter old nag, but profanity and childish parody do not equal instant humor. Especially not in such large quantities. Rather than spicing up mythology and retelling it in a modernly relatable way, the author dumbs it down to pre-teen potty humor and all-caps rages. I don't know if I'm in the wrong for approaching this book with the false expectation of actually learning something.

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Dude Who Shouts Myths at the Internet

So lemme tell you about this guy.
He's young and American
and like all young Americans
his favourite thing is to read mythology.
(Hey, every young American I know likes reading mythology.
You just know the wrong ones.
Don't blame me for your lousy acquaintances.)

But what makes this dude different is this:
he notices that some of his mythology reading friends
are BORED.
"How can this be?" he wonders
and his friends are like,
"Man, this is just so dull
and unrealistic
and it all happened in another country
like a hundred years ago.
Let me go back to something exciting
like 'Breaking Bad'
with the drugs
and the murders
and the sex
and the ad breaks."

And this dude is just confused
because all the myths he's been reading
have the murders
and the drugs
and the sex
but all turned up to 11.
Especially the sex.
So maybe it's the lack of ad breaks
that stop people from enjoying
the murders
and the sex
and the drugs
and the sex
(Did I mention the sex?
There is so much sex in mythology.
Weird kinky stuff that leads to people giving birth
to entire COUNTRIES.
Seriously, just Zeus alone produced enough case studies
to fill a book of sexual deviances.)

So he goes on the internet
and starts bettermyths.com
where he retells old myths
(and new ones,
because people are still making up
crazy stories that no-one could ever believe
and other people
are still believing them)
but in small bite-size chunks
and in the modern vernacular
and to keep peoples' interest
he leaves in all the sex, drugs, sex and murder
so that it's clear what a complete sexdrugmurderfest
the story was in the first place.

And people come to his site
and read the myths
and ask for more
and he delivers on it
until one day he decides
"Hey. I've done a whole lot of these
and people want to be able to buy dead trees
with these written on them."
So BANG
he puts them in a book
plus some more so that people who'd read them online
were still getting something new for their cash
and I bought it
and I read it
and I loved it
like I knew I would.

So if this sounds kinda cool to you,
head over there.
Read a couple of myths.
(Maybe start with the Greek
'cos everyone knows some of those, right?)

If you don't like it,
no problem.
You've lost maybe 10 minutes of your life.
Trust me, you've wasted more time than that
this week already.
Like yesterday when you couldn't decide
which pair of socks to wear.

If you do like it,
great.
Show him some love.
Buy the book.
Maybe send him a new hat
This dude rocks a hat mightily.

And so the moral of this story is that
Breaking Bad is fine
but it's just a new myth
and the old ones are still fun
in the way only a sexdrugmurderfest can be.

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

The gods must be crazy...and blood-thirsty...and really pervy.

All I can say is that they were damned lucky they were gods, 'cos if they had been lowly humans, they would have had their heads displayed on spikes, been burned at the stake, or possibly been lobotomized, depending on what century they lived in.

This book features Cory O'Brien's hilarious retellings of classic myths and legends. Reading this book is kind of like listening to a drunken frat boy rant and rave about mythology, and it turns out to be W-A-Y more entertaining than you might think it would be.

Why listen, here's Cory now. He's had some beers, and he's ready to tell you about some dude he read about...

Let me introduce you to the baddest prophet around.
His name is TIRESIAS.

So besides having an awesome name
Tiresias is this guy who was out hiking one day
and he sees these two snakes doing it
and so he goes "WHAT?
I DON'T WANNA SEE NO SNAKES DOIN' IT UP
ON THIS MOUNTAIN."
and just runs up and beats them to death
with his trusty walking stick
LIKE A BADASS.

You're probably familiar with the Greek myths, but I can guarantee you've never heard them told quite this way before...

Narcissus is gorgeous.
Like, imagine if someone could look
exactly like bacon tastes
and you have a pretty good picture of Narcissus
(unless you're a vegetarian).

How 'bout some Norse legends?

So Loki
(the god of being a needless prick all the time)
sneaks up on Thor's wife, Sif, one day
and shaves off all of her hair
like he's one of the guys on Jackass or something
and Thor really loves hair, I guess
so he gets SUPER ANGRY
and he chases down Loki and is like "Hey
how about I cut off all YOUR FACE?!"
and Loki is like "But I need my face
for making infuriating smirks with!"
And Thor is like "Well, how about...
I just break every bone in your body?"
and Loki is like "No, I need those too.
How 'bout instead
I have the dwarves make your wife some new hair?
it will be made of GOLD and it will grow like
NORMAL HAIR."
And Thor is like "AWESOME."

Or Egyptian?

So basically what Ra does
is he turns around and gives Egypt the world's
DEADLIEST STINKEYE
this eye is so stinky
it produces an entire brand new goddess
the goddess is named Sekhmet
and she is basically like a lioness
with chainsaws for legs
SEKHMET:
THE ORIGINAL THUNDERCAT

There are also Bible stories, Hindu, Asian and African myths, and some REALLY crazy Sumerian stuff:

This guy that Eiru creates is called Enkido
and he is basically just Cousin Itt from The Addams Family
if Cousin Itt had the ability to TEAR YOU IN HALF
AND THEN FEED YOU TO YOURSELF.
He pretty much just runs screaming through the forest
punching bears every day
until one day some namby-pamby hunter sees him
drinking water with all his sweet animal pals
and the hunter is like "THAT DUDE IS SO MANLY
HE MADE MY GUN GO LIMP"

You even get to relearn popular American mythology like John Henry, Davy Crockett and, oh yeah, SCIENTOLOGY.

These things just BEG to be READ ALOUD to your family, friends and coworkers, again and again, until they are begging YOU to go elsewhere...

[Scott · Rating 2 out of 5]

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes is a hilarious book, for about the first 50 pages, and then the gimmick of retelling the myths of various cultures through the medium of dick jokes gets kind of stale; and this is coming from a dude who loves a good dick joke. Sure, the author can pull out a good one every once in awhile, even after your eyes have started to glaze over, but honestly I gave up about 3/4 of the way through. Maybe I missed the world's best dick joke in the chapter on Sumerian mythology; and Lord knows the Epic of Gilgamesh is dick joke gold, but I was willing to roll the dice on that one. This book would make a better "amusing website you check with once in awhile and have a good laugh."

[Maede]

زئوس آرزوهای احمقانه رو برآورده می‌کنه با شوخی و چرندگویی سعی می‌کنه داستان‌‌های اساطیر یونان رو ساده و خواندنی کنه. چند بخش اول لحنش برام جالب بود، اما خیلی زود مدل طنزش کلافم کرد و دیگه نتونستم ادامه‌ش بدم. به نظرم کتاب‌های خیلی بهتری برای این کار وجود دارند اما خب امتیاز گودریدزش بهم میگه که این مدل کتاب دقیقاً چیزیه که خیلی‌ها دوست دارند و برای ریختن ترسشون از اسطوره‌های یونان بهش احتیاج دارند

۱۴۰۳/۷/۱۹

[Manny]

With her usual tact, Cecily suggested that I might like to take a look at this book and compare it with my own recent efforts in the pop classics genre. I have not yet had the pleasure of reading Dr O'Brien's already renowned monograph, but five minutes of flicking through the reviews is enough to show me the nature of our mistake. I am frankly stunned that we could have got it so wrong.

Not, how could you?! You told me that we needed more philosophy and less anal sex, and I like a fool I believed you. With considerable misgivings, I even removed some of the more flagrantly tasteless passages. But compare Dr. O'Brien's sales figures with ours, and I'd say it's pretty clear what the public is after. When I look at the five pages we've wasted on an involved skit about string theory and Platonism and imagine how we could have used them for dick jokes instead, tears come to my eyes. What were we thinking?

Well, I know better now. I'm already working on the second edition.

[Booknut 101 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know what you're thinking: "Oh boy...another book on mythology."


Because let's face it...mythology has become what vampires became after Twilight. Overused, poorly represented, and with added sparkles. And no one wants sparkly myths or vampires.

Mythology is meant to be appreciated in its raw form. Cory O'Brien points out that today's mythologists (ah...that's probably not a word, but oh well!) are far too concerned with dissecting myths, and should instead enjoy them for what they are.

'Anybody who complains that a retelling of a myth is 'inaccurate' doesn't really understand what it means to retell a myth, or probably even what a myth is.

(...) Everybody's always studying them in school or reading watered-down version of them to little kids, and what that means is that hardly anybody has the time to actually sit down and look at how f***ing funny these things are.

Myths are hilarious, as Cory points out. I mean...have you looked at some of these myths?! They're filled with outlandish ideas, disgusting feats, bad parenting, and questionable characters.


Cory starts off with Greek myths. And straight off the bat, you can tell that Cory's retellings are going to comedic to say the least!

'Uranus suddenly decides he hates all of the kids and intead of like, giving them up for adoption or something, he just decides to try and stuff them all back into his wife like "THESE ARE NOT THE BABIES I ORDERED I AM RETURNING THEM TO THE BABYSTORE."

Which I think demonstrates a really shocking lack of understanding of how babies are made.

(...)Cronus comes up with a more sensible alternative which is to stuff all his kids into his stomach.

(...)So the moral of the story is that if you are not ready to be a father, consider all of your options before skipping directly to cannibalism.'

And the descriptions are just so perfect that they will bring tears (of laughter) to your eyes.

'Narcissus is gorgeous. Like, imagine if someone could look exactly like bacon tastes and you have a pretty good picture of Narcissus (unless you're a vegetarian).'

This book also provides an insight into the tactfulness of the gods.

'Hades is down in the underworld and he looks up one day and sees her (Persephone) and he goes "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayum. I gotta get me some of that."

So he just pops on up to the world in his black chariot of ultimate wretchedness and he says, "Hey, little girl, do you want to come to hell?" And she probably would have said no, only he kidnapped her.

Basically Hades is the ultimate ladies' man.'

But the best bit is the moral of the 'Persephone gets stuck with Hades 'cause of pomegranates' tale.

'So the moral of this story is once again for the gentlemen: Gentlemen, learn to cook one home-cooked meal, and BAM - she will be trapped inside of your house forever, or for half of the year if she has a good lawyer.'

Let me also just say that this book really makes you appreciate your parents. I mean...Zeus and Hera threw Hephaestus off Mount Olympus because he was ugly - and only let him come back once he showed them he could make nice jewellery. I'm pretty sure the Olympians created a whole new parenting category titled 'Uninvolved and relative abusive (unless gifts are involved)'.

Not that the Norse are any better. Between selling off their women, tying up their offspring, and stealing each other's stuff, they're a bit of a motley bunch of misfits. As for Odin...he's not getting the Father Of The Year award anytime soon!


Some other things about this book you may find intriguing:
- Orpheus is the ultimate emo symphony composer
- Zeus cannot seduce women when Linkin Park is playing in the background
- Fenrir inspired motivational posters with his spit
- Swedish trivial pursuit involves bloodshed
- In the event of an apocalypse, head towards the invincible forest...not the blood-drenched battlefield
- According to Egyptian mythology, we are all descended from spit and puke
- Isis invented Jenga

Basically, this book is just pure gold. Just be prepared for unedited, swear-word-decorated myths and lots and lots of laughs!

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

کتاب عجیبی بود.
مدل طنزی که داشت برای پشت سر هم خوندن خیلی رو مخ می‌رفت. و البته سر همین اعصاب خورد شدنم چند فصل اون وسطش نخوندم دیگه.
اما برای اینکه هراز چندی بخوای سری به کتابی بزنی که موضوعش رو میدونی یا فکر کردن جدید نخواد و جدی نباشه و ... و کتاب کودک هم نباشه، گزینه بدی نبود.

[Jonathan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this book and purchased it with high expectations. I hoped for modern and hilarious retellings of classic mythology. I hoped to be both entertained and educated.

In the first few pages I was entertained though not educated. Soon, however, even this effect had worn off and I realized I was going to be neither entertained or educated for the majority of the book. The author (an incredibly generous term on my behalf) dumbs down these stories and delivers them in such gratuitously casual narration that it feels like you're being told a tale by a self-involved and mostly retarded 6th grade boy who just discovered his own penis. The first few dick jokes are funny, which will take you through the first page. After that they are tired.

By the end of each 2 page tale, you've already forgotten almost everything about it, probably as a result of your mind intentionally expunging it so you don't find yourself dumber than when you started.

But don't just take my word for it. Heres a quick excerpt. Capitalization and line breaks are as in the book.

and Horus is like "JEEZ, MOM, FINE
GET OFF MY BACK.
HEY, SET, I'M BOUT TO KILL YOU
GET READY."
So Set shows up like "OH NO YOU DIDN'T."
and Horus is like "HOLD STILL FOR A SECOND.
LET ME STAB YOUR FACE."
and Isis is like "OH SHIT STOP.
I JUST REMEMBERED THAT SET IS MY
BROTHER."

It's this. For hundreds of mind-numbing pages. You can look at other reviews for more excerpts just to show I'm not cherry-picking an especially bad segment.

It's not that there are zero funny moments, but when o'brien is clearly trying so overly hard to be funny, of course a couple shots find a target. If we hadn't decided to read stories from this book to each other before bed I would have quit months ago. Having braved the entirety, I feel worse for the time and commitment and beseech you not so suffer the same fate.

Do yourself a favor and don't buy this book. If you want to experience the gist of it, sit down with a good friend and teach them to hit you repeatedly on the head with a hammer.

[Chelsea 🏳️‍🌈 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well this was wild ride! It’s a pretty fun look at a few myths from all different cultures: Greek/Roman, Norse, Egyptian, Sumerian, Hindi, African, Chinese, even a few American legends like Paul Bunyan and John Henry. The retelling are hilarious and it’s nice to see this book doesn’t take itself too seriously.

A few stories are quite misogynistic and slur shamey, as a lot of legends are unfortunately. A lot of women being punished because men just suck in general but overall, this book is a pretty great time. Definitely a recommend if you like mythology.

[Hari Krishnan Prasath (The Obvious Mystery) · Rating 4 out of 5]

World Mythology has always been a fascinating subject to read about. Even people with very little knowledge about them can see the various parallels each of these mythologies behold. The beginning of the known universe is similar in almost every culture's mythology (The Universe began with a bang). The different mythologies diverge from there on, having their own unique stories, deities, and theories.

Truly diverse they may seem but they do converge or bear similar traits at several instances and I can safely say that none of these instances are good. The mythologies of the world are filled with things that we shun today. There's incest(brother marries sister and eats sister's kids?), there's rape (I am God. I take what I want), filicide ( chopping of your son's head and then later replacing it is not cool), Lack of logic ( There was light before the sun?), infanticide(damn your son is ugly, let's throw him off Mount Olympus), self-abuse (Hey I'm bored. I'll just abuse myself), bestiality(Oh hey there Loki, hows your son? THE WOLF), violence, blood, gore, patriarchy and I can keep pointing out so many other things but Cory O'Brien does it so much better in his book Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes.

Please note that to avoid hurting the sentiments of a particular culture or region, O'Brien disses every mythology equally, starting with the Greeks, Norse, Egyptian, moving on to Japanese, Hindu, Chinese, Sumerian, then stepping it Judochristimuslim, African, Native American and finally myths about the US.

Those who have an open mind will find this book extremely funny. Those who don't will probably leave a one-star rating on Goodreads. The vulgarity of the writing depicts exactly how these mythologies and the gods in them behaved. We have seen the grand picture of mythology which conveniently hides or justifies the 'less' savory bits. If you think it is only fair to see the other side and laugh about it, this book is for you.

[Mrs Giggles · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cory O'Brien owns, runs, and writes for bettermyths.com, which is a crude, vulgar, and hilarious website that sees him retelling stories from mythology and even fantasy fiction in his own way. Unsurprisingly, he eventually got a book deal and Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes is the result. It is a collection of some of his writings related to mythology from various cultures.

Mind you, this is not a serious work, despite the subtitle A No-Bullshit Guide To World Mythology: the author promises in the introduction that there will be some bullshit. At its best, this book is like an epic profanity-laced soliloquoy penned by Kevin Smith for his character Jay, and at its worst, it's something created by a fellow who has about half the collective IQ of the braindead cast of Jersey Shore. One way or the other, it's not something that can be easily forgotten after the last page.

Nothing gets spared here, although the bulk of the stories are predictably devoted to Greek and Norse mythology. Unfortunately, these episodic Tourette syndrome outbursts don't portray a full, or even necessarily coherent, idea of the actual tales being skewered by the author, so read this for the humor and not the subject matter.

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes sends some love to Norse goddess Freyja after she slept with four dwarves for four days for a necklace. Well, she is the goddess of love and sex, after all.

And Odin is like, "Yeah, that sounds like Freyja.
I mean WHAT??
I WANTED TO FUCK FREYJA.
WE ALL WANTED TO FUCK FREYJA.
THAT'S LIKE THE WHOLE REASON WE KEEP HER AROUND
AND ALL WE HAD TO DO ALL THESE YEARS
WAS OFFER HER JEWELRY?
UNACCEPTABLE.
GO STEAL HER NECKLACE."

And hello there, Japan:

So they do their crazy marriage thing
and then immediately get down to business
and then suddenly Izanami gives birth
to a hideous mutant leech baby.
BIG SURPRISE, ASSHOLES.
Y'ALL ARE SIBLINGS.

And even the Judeo-Christian mythology gets a shout-out. Here's Adam, after being persuaded to eat that apple by Eve,

So he eats the apple
and suddenly both of them realize
HOW INCREDIBLY NAKED THEY ARE.
THIS IS WHAT THE TREE DOES
IT LETS YOU KNOW YOU'RE NAKED
THE MYTHICAL TREE OF KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL
COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN REPLACED
BY A FIVE-DOLLAR MIRROR
FROM A COLOMBIAN BROTHEL.

And God isn't pleased.

And then God wakes up from one of his meganaps
and he's like "HEY
WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU YOU WERE NAKED?"
See, this was his big plan.
His big plan was just to look at naked people all day.

Juvenile? Sure. But the author has to be commended for knowing which button to push and which punchline to deliver. When he's on the roll, I find myself laughing like a deranged hyena. There are also some moments when he misses a few beats, especially the chapters on Egyptian and African mythology, when he often stumbles and the jokes feel more forced than anything else. But even at its weakest, this book still manages to get a chuckle from me, so I'm fine with it.

As someone who has a deep interest in mythology from all over the world, something that I couldn't shake off since my childhood days, I find this book is a much welcome diversion. Just be warned that this book is best read in small chunks at a time, as the incessant jokes centered around pee-pees and honey pots can get tedious after a while, as is the author's efforts to channel the dumbest character in every Scary Movie sequel in existence. But it's all good in the end, as this is a novelty book that works wonders as a pick-me-up kind of diversion.

[Cookie M. · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF I got tired of all the duck jokes. And by duck, I mean the word with an "i" in it.

[Amina | PAPER/PLATES · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Full review at PAPER/PLATES.*

Imagine heading to a dive bar for some raunchy stand-up. When you get there, you realize the inside of the bar is actually a cavernous library full of imposing columns and scholarly tomes. That’s what reading Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes feels like.

This irreverent little collection of myths made me laugh until my shoulders shook and my boyfriend looked over at me in concern. It shocked me, provoked me, and educated me much more than I would have predicted.

Cory O’Brien is a scholar like you’ve never read before. His forward proves he knows his stuff, referencing years of study and Joseph Campbell-fanboy status. But his approach is unique—he wants to demystify these stories and keep it real for modern day readers. O’Brien cares so much about mythology and anthropology that he refuses to gloss over ancient stories with the lazy, snooty airbrush that is so common today, and instead represents these tales in all of their absurd, violent, sexual glory. Though his collection of myths is far from comprehensive, it is more honest than any I’ve read.

Even the titles of his adaptations are more elucidating than many other translations. Some of my favorites: Hephaestus Gets Dicked Around a Lot, Chang’e Is a Substance Abuser, Ganesh is the Very Definition of an Unplanned Pregnancy, and The Moon is Made of Meat. And it gets even more real. Take, for example, his preface to the Ancient Egyptian chapter: “the ancient Egyptians/liked to tell some seriously messed-up myths/they’ve got all the essentials:/ booze, blood, and jerkin’ it.” The stories don’t disappoint—they go on to tell us about how Ra “F*CKS HIS OWN SHADOW UNTIL HE GETS PREGNANT” and that all humans are descended from either spit or puke.

*Full review at PAPER/PLATES.*

[Koen Crolla · Rating 1 out of 5]

On the one hand I feel it unfair to give books a very low score for being exactly what they give every impression of being on the outside, because I absolutely knew what I was getting myself into and nobody tricked me into reading something I thought I wasn't going to. On the other, what Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes gave every impression of being, and indeed turned out to be, is deeply racist, anti-intellectual tripe aimed at douchebags who think they're too cool for actual books.
Now, usually fratire (and I would lump it in with that genre) is also very homophobic and misogynist, and, to be fair, the homophobia of Zeus is limited to one throwaway line, and its misogyny seems mostly pro-forma.* Even if that were any kind of praise, though, the pig ignorant racism and condescending attitude more than balance it out, though neither really hits it stride until O'Brien lumps three West African myths from two separate traditions together and just calls that chapter ``African''† (something he repeats for ``Native American''‡). The condescension high-water mark is probably his decision to include some stories about US folk heroes, though the self-righteous afterword is a nice cherry on the cake.

I still believe this book could have been pulled off in an entertaining, non-shitty way. Not by this jackass, though.

--------

* It helps that so much of the source material is very sexist to begin with; when confronted with stories in which women are being used as bargaining chips in the deals of the men, you can either pretend that's peachy keen and risk looking like an unfunny asshole, or just go ``ha! silly foreigners!'' and only risk looking like a racist.

† There's an Egyptian chapter too, but I guess they're not African.

‡ Mayans apparently aren't Native Americans either.

[David Berger · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a longtime fan of mythology as well as a fan of humor, I guess I expected something more... interesting. Parts were funny, but just not enough for me to keep reading every section. The book cover says "[t]hese are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words." Why? I don't find almost 300 pages of repeated expletives and crass humor particularly funny, I guess. Once in a while, for effect? Maybe. I am sure many people find this book amusing, and I do commend the author on his unique style in relating the various myths (none of his stuff actually offends me personally). I guess I was simply underwhelmed.

[Absinthe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I greatly appreciate and agree with the parting message that O'Brien shares. The book definitely isn't for everyone, but if you appreciate O'Brien's sense of humor AND you appreciate mythology of all kinds, you will probably enjoy this book. A fairly quick and enjoyable read, 'Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes' is one of my favorites of 2016 thus far.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard about this book on Tumblr and just had to read it. This takes various world mythology as told through what sounds like a college student texting you. It's hilarious and raunchy, although at times a little breathless and shouty. But the goods overcome the bads - I just had to read this in spurts. It's funny if you know a bit about the myths at hand, and also funny if you've never heard of the myth at all. Myths are just crazy weird like that.

The book starts off with the classical Greco-Roman myths, then Judeo-Christian, and Norse, then moves to some of the less widely known African, Sumerian, Mayan, Native American, and Asian myths, finishing up with more modern American myths. I liked the conclusion a lot. While the tone of this is less than intellectual, I think the ideas presented and the way things are tied together are actually quite thought-provoking.

[F · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's not that deep, bros.

Lots of people are pissed at this book for not being funny, or for using swear words in order to get a laugh. I mean--it worked for me. Mythology is meant to be amusing and fun, and I was amused while reading this book. It's a quick and easy read, I laughed out loud and, I kid you not, was actually educated on lots of myths I had never head of before. It is researched and it is then served to you in little bite-sized portions. I really liked it!

Regarding the rating: it is always hard to rate books that are segmented (like short stories, or essays), but some chapters were definitely stronger than others, earning this book a respectable 3.5.

[Akke · Rating 2 out of 5]

*1.65 stars
At first, it was a great and funny book, but after a 100 pages it became sooooo repetitive.

[Jay-Dee Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

My pick for the 2021 Popsugar reading challenge prompt “A book whose title starts with a ‘Q’, ‘X’, or ‘Z’”.

I was cringing at the start of this book as it seemed like the author was trying a little too hard to be “eDgY”, but after a couple of pages I was hooked (roughly by the point Uranus’s dick foam was mentioned).

Super quick, funny and accompanied by excellent illustrations - I really enjoyed it.

[Cassey · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is funny. But it got very repetitive, and I'm pretty sure it could be less offensive. Also I was hoping to learn more forgotten myths with more original themes but I suppose those don't really fit into this guy's kind of humor.

[Tex · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are a PILE OF MYTHS out there. Sorting them out is a huge chore. This covers not only Greek and Roman, but African, Japanese, Sumerian, Chinese, Hindu, Buddhist, American creations myths--plus a bonus chapter on Scientology. It's a hoot. I laughed out loud--a lot.

[Kade Gulluscio · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for a reading challenge, and I have to admit... this isn't my normal trope / style ..
With that said, my opinion on this book is going to differ greatly from someone who does love this genre or type of read.

Thankfully, this book was written in more of a paraody style of book.. The humor made it so MUCH easier to get through a book that is pretty much educational in nature, haha.

I DID learn quite a bit, and the book itself was well-written.

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stupid but often hilarious.
“C’mon girl I hooked you up with scorpions and everything! What else could you want?!”

[Louisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

LOL-on-public-transport funny! I read the Hindu bits to my Indian best friend while a bunch of us were at a bar and the beer/daiquiris/general alcohol we were having only made the reading aloud funnier. Review to come when I'm not insanely busy with uni (and it's winter break, WTF).

[Beas Chattaraj · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.4
Funny. A bit too juvenile at times. But it was relaxing to read a book like this. Added bonus: mythology.
Imagine Deadpool narrating the myths of this world. Yes, Deadpool. Imagine that. Or read it.

[Cris · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐
The best description of this book i read is "it's as if Deadpool explaned myths in a book" and it's basically what it is.
It's pretty funny and generally an easy read for those times in which you don't feel like taking things too seriously.

[Dax · Rating 5 out of 5]

I desperately would love to have drinks with Cory. This whole collection is wrong in all the right ways and so blasphemously hilarious that it gives me life! I intentionally read these very slowly so I could savor them and have at least one thing every day that made me laugh.

[Bárbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars

This was hilarious- but rather simplistic, and seriously, the main (if not the only) thing it had going on was the creative way of telling the stories. The info (even about the myths I was less familiar with) is nothing really new, nothing really exclusive that you can't find in a quick google search. Maybe if it had been longer it could have done better for the more complex myths, too.