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Haldol and Hyacinths: A Bipolar Life
With candor and humor, a manic-depressive Iranian-American Muslim woman chronicles her experiences with both clinical and cultural bipolarity.
Melody Moezzi was born to Persian parents at the height of the Islamic Revolution and raised amid a vibrant, loving, and gossipy Iranian diaspora in the American heartland. When at eighteen, she began battling a severe physical illness, her community stepped up, filling her hospital rooms with roses, lilies, and hyacinths.
But when she attempted suicide and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, there were no flowers. Despite several stays in psychiatric hospitals, bombarded with tranquilizers, mood-stabilizers, and antipsychotics, she was encouraged to keep her illness a secret—by both her family and an increasingly callous and indifferent medical establishment. Refusing to be ashamed, Moezzi became an outspoken advocate, determined to fight the stigma surrounding mental illness and reclaim her life along the way.
Both an irreverent memoir and a rousing call to action, Haldol and Hyacinths is the moving story of a woman who refused to become torn across cultural and social lines. Moezzi reports from the front lines of the no-man’s land between sickness and sanity, and the Midwest and the Middle East. A powerful, funny, and poignant narrative told through a unique and fascinating cultural lens, Haldol and Hyacinths is a tribute to the healing power of hope, humor, and acceptance.
Melody Moezzi was born to Persian parents at the height of the Islamic Revolution and raised amid a vibrant, loving, and gossipy Iranian diaspora in the American heartland. When at eighteen, she began battling a severe physical illness, her community stepped up, filling her hospital rooms with roses, lilies, and hyacinths.
But when she attempted suicide and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, there were no flowers. Despite several stays in psychiatric hospitals, bombarded with tranquilizers, mood-stabilizers, and antipsychotics, she was encouraged to keep her illness a secret—by both her family and an increasingly callous and indifferent medical establishment. Refusing to be ashamed, Moezzi became an outspoken advocate, determined to fight the stigma surrounding mental illness and reclaim her life along the way.
Both an irreverent memoir and a rousing call to action, Haldol and Hyacinths is the moving story of a woman who refused to become torn across cultural and social lines. Moezzi reports from the front lines of the no-man’s land between sickness and sanity, and the Midwest and the Middle East. A powerful, funny, and poignant narrative told through a unique and fascinating cultural lens, Haldol and Hyacinths is a tribute to the healing power of hope, humor, and acceptance.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2013
102 people are currently reading
3851 people want to read
About the author
Melody Moezzi
4 books197 followersMelody Moezzi is an Iranian-American Muslim author, attorney, activist, and visiting professor of creative nonfiction at the University of North Carolina Wilmington. Kirkus calls her latest book, The Rumi Prescription: How an Ancient Mystic Poet Changed My Modern Manic Life, “a heartening narrative of family, transformation, and courage” that “could shatter a variety of prejudices and stereotypes.” She is also the author of Haldol and Hyacinths: A Bipolar Life and War on Error: Real Stories of American Muslims. She is a United Nations Global Expert and an Opinion Leader for the British Council’s “Our Shared Future” initiative, and her essays have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Guardian, and myriad other outlets. She has also appeared as a commentator on many radio and television programs, including NPR, CNN, BBC, PBS, and others. A graduate of Wesleyan University and Emory University's School of Law and School of Public Health, Moezzi lives between Cambridge, Massachusetts and Wilmington, North Carolina with her husband, Matthew, and their ungrateful cats, Keshmesh and Nazanin. Follow her on Twitter at @MelodyMoezzi and on Instagram at @Melody.Moezzi.
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November 4, 2017I'm not rating this book because I wrote it. I just wanted to pop in to thank my readers. I hope y'all enjoy the book, and if you're reading it as part of a book club, do let me know. I've been known to Skype with book clubs from time to time :).
July 13, 2013
I really wanted to like this book. I was looking forward to reading a story by an Iranian American woman, who, after surviving a life-threatening illness, was plunged into the depths (and highs) of bipolar disorder. I took to heart that this description would be true: "Refusing to be ashamed, Moezzi became an outspoken advocate, determined to fight the stigma surrounding mental illness and reclaim her life along the way." That was a mistake.
Melody and I would never be friends in real life. Although I have been close friends with two people who both had similar diagnosis, along with an aunt who has suffered this devastating disease for most of her life, they are not lawyers or doctors or Muslim or of Middle Eastern descent. They are college graduates, respected and talented in their chosen professions, and I had hoped to discover hope for them and people like them in this book. I had hoped to hear that Melody has been campaigning for better treatment, speaking out in support of others who have been diagnosed with mental disorders that many uneducated people still believe are flaws of character or deviance from the basic components of the human condition. Instead, Moezzi sets herself apart from the fray, continuously reinforcing the fact that she holds advanced degrees, that she disagrees nearly every component of American life, that she is from a high-class Persian family -- and is pretty much above everyone else. She has a serious hatred for British colonialism (which most of us do not really believe in anymore), and anyone whose ancestors might have been on the Mayflower (as if they can go back and rewrite history). She also writes about being part of a State Department delegation of young American Muslim "leaders whom the Department expects will help change the country and, in doing so, the world." You might say she is delusional, which would be, of course, apropos, considering the topic of the book.
I have compassion for Melody and those in similar situations, don't get me wrong. But the majority of the book talks about how oppressed she, and other high-class Iranian Muslims, and how no one treats her with the respect and devotion she expects (except her husband -- oy).
There was one part of the book that resonated with me, so I will share part of it: "During that fall semester, I started running. To me, running is not a sport. It's something you do when someone is chasing you. Perhaps you know somebody who runs 'for fun.' I'm telling you now, that person is a liar. Nobody runs for fun. People dance for fun. People run because there is a predator nearby. I took up running in an attempt to outrun my mind, to prevent it from completely betraying and devouring me. I had a lot of trouble thinking straight, and I found that when my body was moving, my thoughts slowed down. When I sat still, they raced far too fast for me to connect, let alone tolerate."
Take it or leave it, that is how I found Haldol and Hyacinths. Dear Attorney Melody, please don't sue me.
Melody and I would never be friends in real life. Although I have been close friends with two people who both had similar diagnosis, along with an aunt who has suffered this devastating disease for most of her life, they are not lawyers or doctors or Muslim or of Middle Eastern descent. They are college graduates, respected and talented in their chosen professions, and I had hoped to discover hope for them and people like them in this book. I had hoped to hear that Melody has been campaigning for better treatment, speaking out in support of others who have been diagnosed with mental disorders that many uneducated people still believe are flaws of character or deviance from the basic components of the human condition. Instead, Moezzi sets herself apart from the fray, continuously reinforcing the fact that she holds advanced degrees, that she disagrees nearly every component of American life, that she is from a high-class Persian family -- and is pretty much above everyone else. She has a serious hatred for British colonialism (which most of us do not really believe in anymore), and anyone whose ancestors might have been on the Mayflower (as if they can go back and rewrite history). She also writes about being part of a State Department delegation of young American Muslim "leaders whom the Department expects will help change the country and, in doing so, the world." You might say she is delusional, which would be, of course, apropos, considering the topic of the book.
I have compassion for Melody and those in similar situations, don't get me wrong. But the majority of the book talks about how oppressed she, and other high-class Iranian Muslims, and how no one treats her with the respect and devotion she expects (except her husband -- oy).
There was one part of the book that resonated with me, so I will share part of it: "During that fall semester, I started running. To me, running is not a sport. It's something you do when someone is chasing you. Perhaps you know somebody who runs 'for fun.' I'm telling you now, that person is a liar. Nobody runs for fun. People dance for fun. People run because there is a predator nearby. I took up running in an attempt to outrun my mind, to prevent it from completely betraying and devouring me. I had a lot of trouble thinking straight, and I found that when my body was moving, my thoughts slowed down. When I sat still, they raced far too fast for me to connect, let alone tolerate."
Take it or leave it, that is how I found Haldol and Hyacinths. Dear Attorney Melody, please don't sue me.
July 20, 2013
I am having a hard time knowing how to rate and review this book. On the one hand, I thought it was a refreshingly honest memoir of one person's experience with bipolar disorder. Melody Moezzi is an accomplished writer, willing to be honest (even when it makes her look bad) and forthcoming about her experiences. While her experience is unique, any person with bipolar, or who loves someone who is bipolar, is likely to recognize a lot of aspects of Melody's story. And heaven knows, we need a lot more empathy and understanding of this terrible disease, so in that sense, this book is a wonderful addition to the world of mental illness.
On the other hand, as a mental health professional, I found myself worried and sometimes personally offended by this book. Melody seems to ride both sides of the fence here. She admits that there is no blood test or otherwise confirmable way to diagnose bipolar disorder, but she positively SHREDS the incompetent mental health professionals that didn't pick up on her disorder. It is well known within the field that bipolar people will deny mania (as Melody herself admits she did), so there is often no way to know that someone is bipolar until they are in the middle of a psychotic break. This isn't because mental health professionals are stupid, it's because the nature of the disease prevents early and positive diagnosis.
Also, it worries me that the book almost advocates not going to therapy or taking lithium. While I obviously agree that lithium is very problematic, and I'm so glad that the author has found a viable alternative, I worry that many people will take this book as permission to NOT take lithium. And for many bipolar individuals, that is the only good alternative. And I admit that I know a lot of therapists that "listen to problems and barely say a thing", but I don't believe it's the norm. Maybe this author has never seen a truly great therapist, but the book gives any mentally ill readers a free pass to give up on talk therapy forever.
A great book - and also unfortunately potentially dangerous for some.
On the other hand, as a mental health professional, I found myself worried and sometimes personally offended by this book. Melody seems to ride both sides of the fence here. She admits that there is no blood test or otherwise confirmable way to diagnose bipolar disorder, but she positively SHREDS the incompetent mental health professionals that didn't pick up on her disorder. It is well known within the field that bipolar people will deny mania (as Melody herself admits she did), so there is often no way to know that someone is bipolar until they are in the middle of a psychotic break. This isn't because mental health professionals are stupid, it's because the nature of the disease prevents early and positive diagnosis.
Also, it worries me that the book almost advocates not going to therapy or taking lithium. While I obviously agree that lithium is very problematic, and I'm so glad that the author has found a viable alternative, I worry that many people will take this book as permission to NOT take lithium. And for many bipolar individuals, that is the only good alternative. And I admit that I know a lot of therapists that "listen to problems and barely say a thing", but I don't believe it's the norm. Maybe this author has never seen a truly great therapist, but the book gives any mentally ill readers a free pass to give up on talk therapy forever.
A great book - and also unfortunately potentially dangerous for some.
December 5, 2015
This is the bipolar memoir I've been looking for. This is the book I would recommend to all my friends--to everyone actually, whether plagued by mental illness or not. This book might not have the poetic prose of Jamison's An Unquiet mind, but it does have what the former lacked: honesty. By writing this book, Melody exposed herself to the world, sharing both the good and the bad, and subsequently encouraging others to come out with their problems. Mental illness isn't shameful; it's more common than we think it is. The more people talk about it, the more lives we can improve.
This is Melody's own personal story, not the new DSM: her dissatisfaction with the care she initially received and the drug-induced side effects she had to endure are a critical part of this book. They're a grim reminder that the path to treatment isn't an easy one, and although it might take many failed therapy sessions and drug cocktails, it's worth it. We all have our own struggles we need to conquer.
This is Melody's own personal story, not the new DSM: her dissatisfaction with the care she initially received and the drug-induced side effects she had to endure are a critical part of this book. They're a grim reminder that the path to treatment isn't an easy one, and although it might take many failed therapy sessions and drug cocktails, it's worth it. We all have our own struggles we need to conquer.
May 16, 2013
In the first two pages, Melody warns: "Insomuch as the structure of this book parallels that of my own mind, it boasts about as much order and linearity as a hallucination." And like that, I was hooked. How better to convey the bipolar shuttling between mania and, for lack of a better word, what most of us take for granted as "normal"? The writing is most riveting in the author's depiction of the buildup to, the aftermath of, and especially the stark, harrowing experience of a manic episode. If this sounds like a "disease of the week" memoir, it isn't. I was struck by her steely resolve and forthrightness about her diagnosis, part of her mission to counter the social stigma attached to any medical illness. I don't know what it will take for society to recognize and begin to address the issue of mental health, but I really enjoyed this book's effort to jumpstart the conversation.
Disclaimer: I planned to read it anyway, but thanks to this First Read ARC, I didn't have to twiddle my reading thumbs waiting til August 2013.
Disclaimer: I planned to read it anyway, but thanks to this First Read ARC, I didn't have to twiddle my reading thumbs waiting til August 2013.
Read
May 12, 2015The subtitle of Moezzi’s memoir is “A bipolar life” which tends to suggest what the major focus of the book will be about, and so it was with some surprise when I discovered that “bipolar” had an awful lot less to do with the story than “a life” did. This might sound like a complaint, but it isn’t remotely. Melody Moezzi is an amazing writer, sharp and witty and very funny, describing life as a young Iranian woman raised by her family in the American midwest, balancing those two sides of her world and cultures in a pre- and post-9/11 world. The trickier bit happens when her own brain, which is the thing trying to do all that balancing, is itself off-kilter and goes to pieces as bipolar rears its ugly head.
If you came looking for lots of note-taking information about bipolar, you’ll be kind of disappointed, but that’s okay. There’s other books for that. This is, instead, a great memoir that is exciting (and frequently very funny, even in seemingly dark or bleak moments). I read it in a single day, too charmed to even think about stopping. — Peter Damien
from The Best Books We Read in April: http://bookriot.com/2015/05/01/riot-r...
If you came looking for lots of note-taking information about bipolar, you’ll be kind of disappointed, but that’s okay. There’s other books for that. This is, instead, a great memoir that is exciting (and frequently very funny, even in seemingly dark or bleak moments). I read it in a single day, too charmed to even think about stopping. — Peter Damien
from The Best Books We Read in April: http://bookriot.com/2015/05/01/riot-r...
February 18, 2014
As a fan of memoirs in general, especially those with mental illness at their core, I thought this book started out strong. However, in the end I must admit that the overall tone of it left me feeling a bit put off-almost as if the author secretly believed the reader should feel priviledged to have been exposed to her thoughts. Additionally,there were several instances throughout the text where she comes across as a bit rascist, or perhaps,a bit superior to those around her who come from a different race, culture, or religion. If this author cared, as deeply as she claimed to throughout the book,for ethnic tolerism/equality,I would have expected her to be more respectful of others unlike herself. I'm just regretting the time I invested in this book now that I 've come away feeling as if I'd just finished dealing with a snotty teenager-not a grown,and well educated,woman.
May 31, 2013
Loved this book! I won this from a goodreads giveaway, best book I have won! I want to be best friends with this author. Awesome book, highly recommend.
did-not-finish
January 30, 2024DNF at page 160, although I was skimming from around page 100.
I LOVED The Rumi Prescription by this author, it’s one of my favourite memoirs ever, and I was hoping to love this book, too. Unfortunately, it lacked the focus, warmth, or a sense of reflection. Instead, it felt like a rambling autobiography. Perhaps I would’ve appreciated it more closer to the time of my own crisis and diagnosis, but equally I do feel The Rumi Prescription is just a better book in almost every way.
Also, please note the trigger warnings for this book. There is explicit, detailed descriptions of suicidal ideation and behaviour, including explicit descriptions of the method of attempt. I’m not recommending against reading this book - I think Melody’s voice is important - but be mindful and be safe!
Read as part of my Reading BookTuber’s Favourite Books! https://youtu.be/PdI0AxXLHKo?si=Pm2k1...
I LOVED The Rumi Prescription by this author, it’s one of my favourite memoirs ever, and I was hoping to love this book, too. Unfortunately, it lacked the focus, warmth, or a sense of reflection. Instead, it felt like a rambling autobiography. Perhaps I would’ve appreciated it more closer to the time of my own crisis and diagnosis, but equally I do feel The Rumi Prescription is just a better book in almost every way.
Also, please note the trigger warnings for this book. There is explicit, detailed descriptions of suicidal ideation and behaviour, including explicit descriptions of the method of attempt. I’m not recommending against reading this book - I think Melody’s voice is important - but be mindful and be safe!
Read as part of my Reading BookTuber’s Favourite Books! https://youtu.be/PdI0AxXLHKo?si=Pm2k1...
July 11, 2013
This book is, from start to finish, extraordinary. Moezzi wraps an extremely revealing and personal memoir in witty phrasing and shockingly candid (and always entertaining) narration. She shares the most intimate details of her journey as a renowned writer and activist subjected to a series of shocking medical misdiagnoses and ultimately a label (bipolar) that she herself didn't at the time yet understand.
Her exploration of what it means to be bipolar- to both the patient and those who love them- is told through the colorful lens of also being bicultural (she's Iranian-American). The girl is nothing if not up for a challenge.
Along with other groundbreaking books like MAUS, Running With Scissors, and A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, this is one of the most engaging memoirs I've ever read. Melody and the vivid image of the loving people in her life will stay with you long after you turn the last page. Courageous, haunting, inspiring. Now please read it and go find your own adjectives :)
[note: Although the topic is wildly different, for me this book delivered on pace with her awarded debut WAR ON ERROR.]
Her exploration of what it means to be bipolar- to both the patient and those who love them- is told through the colorful lens of also being bicultural (she's Iranian-American). The girl is nothing if not up for a challenge.
Along with other groundbreaking books like MAUS, Running With Scissors, and A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, this is one of the most engaging memoirs I've ever read. Melody and the vivid image of the loving people in her life will stay with you long after you turn the last page. Courageous, haunting, inspiring. Now please read it and go find your own adjectives :)
[note: Although the topic is wildly different, for me this book delivered on pace with her awarded debut WAR ON ERROR.]
January 9, 2021
“If you survive cancer, most people call you a hero and inspiration, and they tell you so. If you survive a mental illness, most people consider you a feeble-minded degenerate and an embarrassment and they wouldn’t dare tell you so.” An astonishingly honest account of living as a Iranian American Muslim woman with bipolar disorder. Some reviewers comment that she can be unlikeable, but I commend the author for not sanitizing her thoughts and judgements, especially in regards to her periods of mania and psychosis.
July 16, 2013
I am a librarian at a juvenile detention facility. I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads. The following review is from a student:
"Really good book, very down to earth. I connected with the author a lot and I couldn't put the book down! Should read!!"
"Really good book, very down to earth. I connected with the author a lot and I couldn't put the book down! Should read!!"
July 7, 2013
A well written roller coaster. It's rare to read a book where you feel like you are really inside the author's mind. I really appreciated Melody's honest telling and am looking forward to reading what she's got for us next!
January 29, 2025
Thank you Melody for a down-to-earth, authentic, and refreshing account of an experience that can be so isolating. I am so grateful for Melody's voice.
September 14, 2014
I had to Google both words in the title of this book. In case you don't know what they are, haldol is an antipsychotic medication, and hyacinth is some kind of a flower. Quite a name for a book.
This is the third memoir on bipolar disorder that I can remember reading, the other two being: An Unquiet Mind, and Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me. I think bipolar writers write during their manic (or at least hypomanic) phase, which makes sense. Who wants to (or can) write a book in their depressive phase? Moezzi definitely sounds a bit too effusive here. Even her humor (which made me laugh hard a few times) is extravagant. And like some other memoirists that I've read, she can't stick to the subject, which is the bipolar part. You have to read her views on politics and religion and colonialism whether you like them or not. If you're a Muslim Middle-Eastern girl growing up in Ohio, you just can't ignore the stark ethnic and cultural contrast with your surrounding. It becomes a big factor in your life. That said, I think she overdid that part too.
This is the third memoir on bipolar disorder that I can remember reading, the other two being: An Unquiet Mind, and Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me. I think bipolar writers write during their manic (or at least hypomanic) phase, which makes sense. Who wants to (or can) write a book in their depressive phase? Moezzi definitely sounds a bit too effusive here. Even her humor (which made me laugh hard a few times) is extravagant. And like some other memoirists that I've read, she can't stick to the subject, which is the bipolar part. You have to read her views on politics and religion and colonialism whether you like them or not. If you're a Muslim Middle-Eastern girl growing up in Ohio, you just can't ignore the stark ethnic and cultural contrast with your surrounding. It becomes a big factor in your life. That said, I think she overdid that part too.
August 11, 2019
I was excited to come across this book because Melody's background, at the time of the book, aligns very closely with mine (brown young Muslim woman who is bipolar (with a history of mental health obstacles) and seeking a higher degree. It was uncanny so I was immediately interested in diving into the book. Unfortunately, I was left disappointed. I feel like the story had so much potential but was told in a self-indulgent way, slathered with unnecessary and often inappropriate humor, that resulted in the reader not getting any sort of introspection at the end of the story. While I understand that everyone has their own story/journey and reserves the right to narrate it as such, I feel as though the book solidifies some of the misguided ideas people have about mental health issues and people with mental health issues. Not only that, but there were some "facts" that truly weren't facts. For example, bipolar I is not the most severe of the bipolar diagnoses. Rather, all bipolar diagnoses are severe and can result in dangerous consequences.
June 1, 2023
This book should come with a trigger warning for manic speech, it almost drove me into hypomania sometimes. But jokes aside on the way Moezzi conducts such painful memories (and because morbid humour is also my defense mechanism), it was simply a much needed read for me. As she says over and over, when everything is fine, or we think it is, it's so hard to believe. "What, me? Bipolar? I'm just eccentric". I started this book expecting to gain a different perspective and maybe find an excuse to stop my treatment, I admit it, but instead I found all the reasons why I shouldn't be ashamed, and why I shouldn't give up finding a proper treatment just because things are shaky at the moment. So thank you for this memoir. I hope that people who come across this book, be it for themselves or because of someone they love, they too can find something to hold on to.
July 16, 2016
I hated this book. I wanted to finish it bough, because I don't think it's fair to review a book I haven't completed. The author comes across as a spoiled, flippant, entitled and obnoxious bitch. Her husband sounds like an absolute Saint for putting up with her. She spends a lot of time tooting her own horn about how smart she is, yet she has the emotional depth of a puddle. There was nothing I liked about this book except that it only took me a day to read it. I enjoy books about mental illness and stories of triumph. This is not that.
March 11, 2019
A well-written memoir about what it's like to be in a psychiatric institution and to live with bipolar disorder. She has an amazing support system, which unfortunately, many people with severe mental illness lack. She is Iranian-American, and it's nice to see her perspective -- so many memoirs about mental illness are written by white women. It's good to see other experiences and begin to understand how the experience of mental illness can differ based on ethnicity, whether it's based on cultural responses and/or compounded discrimination from broader society.
July 30, 2023
Nothing short of a great read! Would recommend!
July 31, 2025
I kind of have mixed feelings about this book, not because of the content itself (mostly) but because Moezzi's personality comes through so strongly in this and she's the kind of person that I wouldn't get along with irl because you can just tell that she has a loud, in-your-face personality and is very confident that she's just one of the best people in the world (which, she admits might be part of the delusions of grandeur that are symptomatic of mania due to bipolar disorder, but it seems like she might have been that way even prior to her illness setting in, so it's difficult to tell what is because of the bipolar disorder and what's just her personality). Other than that though, this book was really informative and changed the way I understand bipolar disorder, particularly in the way she depicts it as a progressive disease, which I hadn't known before this. I admire how unashamed she was about showing the negative and embarrassing parts about her illness and didn't try to mask or soften them like she easily could have. It was also quite interesting how this book is just as much about her experience as an Iranian American as it is about being bipolar and the way she handled the parallels between those identities was quite well-done.
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July 29, 2024It always feels a bit rude to dislike memoirs…. But the tone of this book (omg….sassy, self indulgent) just was not it for me, however much I hoped to enjoy a story about bipolar disorder indeed not witten by a straight white artistically gifted man
August 16, 2015
**Memoir is hard to rate/review because memory is so slippery even when there isn't mental illness involved. And because as readers we bring certain expectations and think it needs to fit a certain mould, but really it's so dependent on the individual author's sensibilities, personality and way of looking at/interacting with the world. So while I might've connected heavily with memoirs that really plumbed the depths of a writer's heart/soul/emotions or described events in more visceral detail, I also recognize that imposing those requirements on every memoir is counterproductive. A memoir is the most personal of books, and should thus be given liberty to express and embody as much of its author as possible.**
I liked a lot of things about HALDOL AND HYACINTHS. I liked Melody's realness, her unapologetic candor, her wit, the fact that she peppers her language with profanity. I liked the humor and sarcasm (though there were times I wished there had been less sarcasm and more vulnerability or introspection). I liked peeking into the world of the tight-knit Iranian-American community. I liked Melody's parents.
I really admire Melody for the courage to be exactly who she is on the page. I admire her for talking about things and owning actions that others might find uncomfortable to discuss and would choose instead to whisper about in tight circles. Melody's attitude toward her illness is not self-pitying and it's not one of shame, which makes her like a giant pickax chipping away at the stigma against mental illness. She is proof that people with mental illnesses are not incapable of leading "normal" lives, of being successful and hugely contributing members of society (contrary to many people's belief that anyone with a mental illness is irreparably broken and intrinsically not worthwhile). Having known several mentally ill people who were relegated to the sidelines of life and society, and spoken about in pitying hushed tones, I am very happy this book is out there to dispel misconceptions and prejudice.
It was also interesting to read about Melody's struggle straddling two cultures. Her immigrant experience was different from my own, and I suspect that's in part because she had a strong expat/exile community around her (so that even in the Midwest, she could still be partially in Iran). The dynamics of that were intriguing and I wish there had been more about it.
I liked a lot of things about HALDOL AND HYACINTHS. I liked Melody's realness, her unapologetic candor, her wit, the fact that she peppers her language with profanity. I liked the humor and sarcasm (though there were times I wished there had been less sarcasm and more vulnerability or introspection). I liked peeking into the world of the tight-knit Iranian-American community. I liked Melody's parents.
I really admire Melody for the courage to be exactly who she is on the page. I admire her for talking about things and owning actions that others might find uncomfortable to discuss and would choose instead to whisper about in tight circles. Melody's attitude toward her illness is not self-pitying and it's not one of shame, which makes her like a giant pickax chipping away at the stigma against mental illness. She is proof that people with mental illnesses are not incapable of leading "normal" lives, of being successful and hugely contributing members of society (contrary to many people's belief that anyone with a mental illness is irreparably broken and intrinsically not worthwhile). Having known several mentally ill people who were relegated to the sidelines of life and society, and spoken about in pitying hushed tones, I am very happy this book is out there to dispel misconceptions and prejudice.
It was also interesting to read about Melody's struggle straddling two cultures. Her immigrant experience was different from my own, and I suspect that's in part because she had a strong expat/exile community around her (so that even in the Midwest, she could still be partially in Iran). The dynamics of that were intriguing and I wish there had been more about it.
March 11, 2014
Perhaps it's the bane of the delusional to come off sounding condescending. That certainly was the case with An Unquiet Mind, and certain aspects of that memoir are mirrored here. Again, this is certainly apropos of the disease. But I have to wonder why so much of the account didn't ring true for me. Sure everyone's disease and experiences are different, but I found her tone to be flip and her self-deprecation forced. For example, her suicide attempt seemed (don't sue me) insincere and not well explained.
One could argue words are too small for such grand topics, but Jeffery Eugenides certainly did capture the disease in his character Leonard (The Marriage Plot). So while this is her experience, I would hope that is how it is taken, and not the Holy Testament of what is bipolar. The soaring heights, the deepest wells, the mash up of both, the confusing diagnoses, the gut-wrenching search for the perfect chemical cocktail: it's here, but as a pale reflection, a ghost lacking substantiality. The reality can be much, much more dire, and much more vibrant.
The threads between cultural and disease bipolarity also seem tenuous. While I can relate to the feeling of not quite belonging to either culture, I didn't buy that this parallels the disease state. For me, these are two discreet topics. Cultures aren't opposite poles to each other. Mania and depression are. And while there is a continuum of sorts between the two, it is still much more cut and dried than cultural dissimilarities.
Still, I admire that she wrote about such a stigmatized illness. That takes courage that I won't deny.
One could argue words are too small for such grand topics, but Jeffery Eugenides certainly did capture the disease in his character Leonard (The Marriage Plot). So while this is her experience, I would hope that is how it is taken, and not the Holy Testament of what is bipolar. The soaring heights, the deepest wells, the mash up of both, the confusing diagnoses, the gut-wrenching search for the perfect chemical cocktail: it's here, but as a pale reflection, a ghost lacking substantiality. The reality can be much, much more dire, and much more vibrant.
The threads between cultural and disease bipolarity also seem tenuous. While I can relate to the feeling of not quite belonging to either culture, I didn't buy that this parallels the disease state. For me, these are two discreet topics. Cultures aren't opposite poles to each other. Mania and depression are. And while there is a continuum of sorts between the two, it is still much more cut and dried than cultural dissimilarities.
Still, I admire that she wrote about such a stigmatized illness. That takes courage that I won't deny.
July 13, 2013
I enjoyed this memoir, especially the humor she used to face and cope with a very difficult illness. I can imagine how difficult it must have been to write about yourself and your multiple mental breakdowns, so humor seems entirely appropriate to me. The memoir is not a linear one but is still pretty easy to understand. As a child of immigrant parents (but as someone who does not have bipolar disorder), there was plenty to relate to for me. Oddly enough, the writer and I went to the same school for a similar graduate program and grew up in Ohio, so I enjoyed the unexpected degrees of separation.
I read this memoir at a very interesting time in my family's life. A friend (who does not have bipolar disorder) is coping with a partner who does and who is having a hard time accepting her diagnosis. Because of her denial, her recovery process is patchy at best. The ramifications of the disorder are not minimized in the book and it has helped me understand what my friend is going through. This book shows that there is hope out there and with support and acceptance, recovery is possible.
I read this memoir at a very interesting time in my family's life. A friend (who does not have bipolar disorder) is coping with a partner who does and who is having a hard time accepting her diagnosis. Because of her denial, her recovery process is patchy at best. The ramifications of the disorder are not minimized in the book and it has helped me understand what my friend is going through. This book shows that there is hope out there and with support and acceptance, recovery is possible.
November 13, 2023
Honest, real, and needed.
August 30, 2013
Moezzi deftly weaves her bipolar and bicultural experiences into a well-paced narrative. When she describes her manic episodes, we find ourselves reading faster, as though we are experiencing a little of what her brain went through. Along the way, we get to meet her supportive, intelligent, and often-worried spouse Matt and her Iranian-American family of doctors, each trying to see her through her ups and downs. Moezzi is now an advocate for those with mental illness, and her experiences show that even educated, financially secure patients often suffer to find a diagnosis and to find the right treatment.
January 8, 2014
I'm glad I judged a book by it's cover in this instance, my eye was caught. All that was needed was for me to have read on the inside jacket that whilst Melody Moezzi was surrounded by family during a hospital stay that was due to a physical illness ~ there was an obverse sense of absenteeism when she was hospitalised, due to a continuing battle with mental illness. I was sold on a somewhat associative level so decided I had to have this book. There is no more qualified person to write and inform on any given experience, than someone who has lived it. There is something to be said about this kind of intimacy. Thank you Melody, I am most grateful.
December 28, 2016
This is the best mental health memoir I've ever read, and I've read a lot of them. It is sharp and witty, it is accurate and does not hold back, and it is, most of all, more than JUST a mental health memoir. It shows the perspective of an Iranian-American woman, which gives it a cultural competency piece missing from most contemporary memoirs. It talks about the research and the symptomology of bipolar disorder in a conversational, easy-to-digest fashion, mixing Moezzi's experience with the illness with her experience as an Iranian-American politically-engaged individual. It is brilliant and I cannot recommend it highly enough.
January 15, 2016
I was planning to give this book 5 stars based on bipolar solidarity, but it turns out it earned 5 all on its own. There are a lot of mental health memoirs out there, but Moezzi stands out with her beautiful prose, humor, and frank self-assessments. I liked that she addressed not just psychological bipolarity, but also the cultural bipolarity she has experienced as an Iranian-American. If you want a glimpse into mania and depression or life as an American Muslim or life as an immigrant, (or all of the above) this book is a great place to start.
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