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Married...But Lonely: Stop Merely Existing. Start Living Intimately
Seven Steps to a New Husband!
You married a good man. He loves you. He’s committed to you. He treats you well. You fully and sincerely appreciate who he is and what he does for you and for the family. The problem is, he does not meet some of your most important, God-given needs. Eighty-five percent of all husbands are intimacy-challenged. Your conversations are brief, safe, and superficial. He does not reveal what he’s really thinking and feeling inside. He believes your marriage is great. He’s perfectly happy…and the intimate, romantic, emotional part of you is dying a slow death. Working together, the two of you can create an intimate marriage. In Married...but Lonely Dr. David Clarke will show you seven steps that you as the wife can implement with or without your husband's cooperation and begin to experience the kind of marriage you've always wanted.
You married a good man. He loves you. He’s committed to you. He treats you well. You fully and sincerely appreciate who he is and what he does for you and for the family. The problem is, he does not meet some of your most important, God-given needs. Eighty-five percent of all husbands are intimacy-challenged. Your conversations are brief, safe, and superficial. He does not reveal what he’s really thinking and feeling inside. He believes your marriage is great. He’s perfectly happy…and the intimate, romantic, emotional part of you is dying a slow death. Working together, the two of you can create an intimate marriage. In Married...but Lonely Dr. David Clarke will show you seven steps that you as the wife can implement with or without your husband's cooperation and begin to experience the kind of marriage you've always wanted.
- GenresMarriageNonfiction
256 pages, Paperback
First published February 5, 2013
125 people are currently reading
174 people want to read
About the author
David E. Clarke
24 books37 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Dr. David Clarke is a Christian psychologist, speaker, and the author of seven books, including Kiss Me Like You Mean It. A graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and Western Conservative Baptist Seminary, he has been in full-time private practice for over 20 years. He lives in Florida. William G. Clarke has been a marriage and family therapist for over 30 years. A former Campus Crusade for Christ director and founder of the Marriage and Family Enrichment Center, he lives in Florida.
Dr. David Clarke is a Christian psychologist, speaker, and the author of seven books, including Kiss Me Like You Mean It. A graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and Western Conservative Baptist Seminary, he has been in full-time private practice for over 20 years. He lives in Florida. William G. Clarke has been a marriage and family therapist for over 30 years. A former Campus Crusade for Christ director and founder of the Marriage and Family Enrichment Center, he lives in Florida.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
April 17, 2017
Terribly outdated, religious ideas
I read this book as a research tool, and I have to say, I have never ever left a poor book review before yet I'm moved to with this one. At first I was merely uncomfortable with the highly religious subtext, but finding some interesting ideas on between, I soldiered on. It was around this point that I stopped reading:
Submission means to allow your husband to be the leader in your relationship and to yield to his authority. Not because he is superior, is more intelligent, or has more ability, but because this is the role God commands you to fulfill.' As we say here in Scotland, 'boak'. What a waste of time and money, I think this man is still living in the dark ages. Women, please do not listen to this. These are ideas that should stay in the 50's where they belong.
I read this book as a research tool, and I have to say, I have never ever left a poor book review before yet I'm moved to with this one. At first I was merely uncomfortable with the highly religious subtext, but finding some interesting ideas on between, I soldiered on. It was around this point that I stopped reading:
Submission means to allow your husband to be the leader in your relationship and to yield to his authority. Not because he is superior, is more intelligent, or has more ability, but because this is the role God commands you to fulfill.' As we say here in Scotland, 'boak'. What a waste of time and money, I think this man is still living in the dark ages. Women, please do not listen to this. These are ideas that should stay in the 50's where they belong.
January 24, 2022
A good read
A lot of good information....I wasn't sure if the book was advertised as a marriage manual for Christians, but it should have been, because then people of other faiths (such as me, a Muslim) would know to expect a lot of references to the Bible. Great analysis of men being IA (intimacy avoiders), and I like how the author holds wives and women accountable for the part that they play in not having harmony with their spouses or significant other. Get it and extract the jewels from it!
A lot of good information....I wasn't sure if the book was advertised as a marriage manual for Christians, but it should have been, because then people of other faiths (such as me, a Muslim) would know to expect a lot of references to the Bible. Great analysis of men being IA (intimacy avoiders), and I like how the author holds wives and women accountable for the part that they play in not having harmony with their spouses or significant other. Get it and extract the jewels from it!
May 14, 2018
Powerful marriage advice from a Christian perspective. Helped me a lot.
January 17, 2019
Excellent book. Wish I would have read years ago.
October 29, 2020
David E Clarke expresses exactly what I couldn’t put in words and delivers a plan of action for both husband and wife. Every couple needs this book to read. ❤️
May 4, 2022
I think it’s going to help me with my marriage.
February 25, 2014
I read the book and honestly thought that it was good. As a husband (who has been married for 12 years) I didn’t know that I was an intimacy avoider and it gave my insight into many things. I will definitely follow some of the advice in the book as I think our marriage can only benefit from it. However, I felt that the book was a bit unbalanced insofar as it focussed heavily on the shortcomings of men in marriage. What the authors suggest is that you must become 110% focussed on your wife’s needs, emotional and physical, romance her again (with 2 screaming kids in the background) schedule time to talk, go for walks on the beach, give her flowers etc. It’s all fine and well but husbands are also fathers of their kids, have demanding jobs, try to stay fit, have chores around the house etc. It is a pretty demanding world out there and sometimes men just want to sit in front of the TV and watch pictures go by as they try to digest a week of hard work. At least be fair. The book touches briefly on the shortcomings of wives but I think it could do better. After all it takes two people to have a marriage. Also the “Trojan horse” idea of your wife bearing all her past hurts and disappointments with you on paper seems rather silly, if you have already put all that behind you. In my view rather let sleeping dogs lie. But all in all, a good read, and valuable advice which 90% of us men never even knew.
April 2, 2014
What an amazing book! We are celebrating 25 years of marriage this year. Our marriage wasn't bad, but it was lonely. This book opened my eyes as to the why of feeling lonely. I was literally lonely because his job requires 14-16 hours a day (truck driving and dock work) but I discovered I was emotionally lonely.
This is not a doomsday book. It's a very practical approach to bring more understanding and more emotional intimacy to your marriage. It isn't a husband bashing book either because we wives have our own faults to look at. It allows perspective from both sides and I appreciated that.
I followed the steps as suggested and they worked. I allowed myself to be more open about my feelings and I turn, it did the same for my husband. We quit putting feeling on the back burner to take care of just the business of life and raising kids.
A definite read for any married woman. We women are emotional creations and need emotional intimacy in our marriages. This book helps you get there.
This is not a doomsday book. It's a very practical approach to bring more understanding and more emotional intimacy to your marriage. It isn't a husband bashing book either because we wives have our own faults to look at. It allows perspective from both sides and I appreciated that.
I followed the steps as suggested and they worked. I allowed myself to be more open about my feelings and I turn, it did the same for my husband. We quit putting feeling on the back burner to take care of just the business of life and raising kids.
A definite read for any married woman. We women are emotional creations and need emotional intimacy in our marriages. This book helps you get there.
August 23, 2014
Serious information in an easily readable format. I think this is information every Christian couple can benefit from. I am blessed to have a lovely marriage. My husband brought it home from a AACC conference where he met Dr. Clarke, and asked me to read it and give him some feedback before he read it. I was surprised to find it gave voice to some of my suspicions about what was causing me frustration, and gave me tools to improve our communication and relationship. Hubby will be reading it ASAP ;)
BTW, Hubby and I read Dr. Clarke's other book, Kiss Me Like You Mean It, together a few years ago and really enjoyed the humor, encouragement, and lessons from Song of Solomon. I absolutely recommend that book also.
BTW, Hubby and I read Dr. Clarke's other book, Kiss Me Like You Mean It, together a few years ago and really enjoyed the humor, encouragement, and lessons from Song of Solomon. I absolutely recommend that book also.
Want to read
August 6, 2016The title of this book was immediately appealing to me, though from the actual book description, it looks as if it's intended mainly for women with apparently happy, but uncommunicative, husbands. Which seems a little stereotypical, but probably also true for many. Even so, I'd still be curious to give it a read and see if there's anything I can learn from it in order to be happier in my own relationship life, in which I often feel lonely and stifled.
February 10, 2015
A little late.
A very good book. I thoroughly appreciated the strong approach he took with every issue involving a floundering marriage. I wish I had read it 30-40 years ago. My husband and i "celebrated" our 55th anniversary this year. Enough said.
A very good book. I thoroughly appreciated the strong approach he took with every issue involving a floundering marriage. I wish I had read it 30-40 years ago. My husband and i "celebrated" our 55th anniversary this year. Enough said.
Read
January 4, 2016Not at all what I thought it was. Very interesting and knowledgable.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews