Moms Who Drink and Swear: True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind

by Nicole Knepper

If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place.

Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts.

Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

Genres: Humor, Parenting, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography Memoir, Family, Adult

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[Dayna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Moms Who Drink and Swear just did not do it for this mommy. To be honest, I only got about 80 percent of the way through because I just got bored. If I want to read about bratty kids fighting and throwing temper tantrums, and a mom who is flying by the seat of her pants and messing up a lot, but still loves her kids and tries her best, I'll write my own book. This is every mom (at least the ones I know) and it just didn't hold my interest. I will admit that it is a very easy read and the author has a nice conversational tone, but that is exactly what it's lacking: a conversation. These are the kinds of stories that moms swap at play dates and Moms Night Out while drinking wine and occasionally swearing. When I was reading this book, there were several times I was laughing out loud and in complete sympathy with the author, but alas, I could not commiserate with her, and so became bored with this one sided story-telling. Because Nicole Knepper is not the only mother with "True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind", unless you have no mommy friends with whom you can lament, I would pass on this one.

[Jennifer Millard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nikki Knepper is my new fantasy BFF. I'm actually not 100% convinced that this book wasn't actually written by my real life BFF (except Debbie doesn't swear as much. and it's something I never realized until I read this- haha). There was something so genuine and familiar about her story telling.

It's a funny, sometimes brilliantly unfocused, sometimes jarringly right-on account of the madness that is motherhood for my generation.

And like Jill Smokler's Scary Mommy, Knepper gave me comfort and assuaged some of my Mommy guilt for not being all Donna Reed or Marian Cunnigham up in this bitch.

[Michelle Burton · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was a good concept, and I really wanted to like this book. But she was SO repetitive. By the end, I just wanted it to be over.

[Ciara · Rating 3 out of 5]

i kind of read this by accident. i thought it was something else. & of course, now i don't remember what i thought it was. because i'm a mom with no attention span.

this was all right. it took me a while to get into it. as is so often the case with blogs that are turned into books, i get the feeling that nicole is a laff riot in person, & capable of churning out more than the average number of humorous blog posts, but it doesn't really translate to a book format. it had its moments. i particularly enjoyed the chapter about the imaginary friend her son developed while she was pregnant with her daughter--"nick the dick," as knepper privately referred to him. but overall, i often had the feeling that otherwise funny little stories were being padded for the sake of page count, or that knepper would benefit from developing a relationship with a ruthless editor. i guess i'm saying that the pacing was off. a person can afford to be more leisurely on their own blog. i expect a little more snap & vim in a book.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this in one day. Having followed this author on Facebook I was so excited to read this. Knepper is our generation's Erma Bombeck, a writer who tells it like it is with grace and wit. I would happily meet Knepper for a glass of "Mommy's grape juice" to exchange stories about our kids anytime!

[Meredith Spidel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to cry whole reading this book because it was just so darn perfect. Nicole touches on the raw, honest heart of motherhood with a hefty does of her brilliant wit and humor. Reading this book was a gift.

[Sara Giacalone · Rating 4 out of 5]

I laughed out loud quite often while reading Moms Who Drink and Swear: True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind - to the point where my hubby asked "What are you reading?" in a somewhat exasperated way. I couldn't help it. Nicole Knepper is funny and insightful and is a genius for saying the things many moms think but wouldn't dare admit out loud. This girl knows her shit, and thank god she's willing to share it with the rest of us. Now I don't feel so alone (which also explains the success of her Facebook page). Some people may not appreciate the Moms Who Drink and Swear sense of humor, so pearl clutchers and people who don't understand irony beware. This book says it like it is - the good, bad and ugly about being a parent. I enjoyed it very much!

[Gina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Moms Who Drink And Swear

2 / 5

Here's the thing with this book: it wasn't awful. I actually did find it quite funny. However, I kept thinking to myself "Stop beating this dead horse" as I turned each page. The author would go on this rant, saying things many moms think, but won't/don't vocalize. You'll laugh and hopefully not cringe at the vulgarity and swearing (I'm the same way. Doesn't phase me so that played no part in my 2-star rating) and then she repeats herself. And again. And again. I felt like she wasn't sure we found the story funny the first time, so she kept dragging it out. It was funny the first time. Gotcha. I felt like she just didn't know when to quit and move on.

For me, these Blogs-turned-humorous-true-account-books just remain better in Blog form.

[Stefanie Buxel-florenzen · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my go to books now for those hard parenting days. Moms have it hard and do a thankless job. This is book reminds us of that fact. It is supposed to pick us up, show us the hard facts of parenthood, and provide comfort in knowing that we are normal human beings for having good and bad parenting days. It is normal to need an escape into the laundry room with a pint of ice cream and box wine. It is healthy even :) I have found a new friend and confidant in Nikki. Moms who are real, who lay it all out there, who don't try to fake their way through the perfect life are refreshing and wonderful. Congrats on such an amazing, honest, truthful look into motherhood. A must read for all moms and dads. My husband is now begging to read this.

[Loriann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a damn funny book. If you don't have a sense of humor or if you are actually perfect at everything you do, this book is not for you.
But it is for everybody else. It's a nice reminder that other people feel the same way you do and you aren't a bad parent for feeling a little overwhelmed and crazy sometimes!

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funniest book I have ever read!!!

[Chelsey Robertson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I struggled to get through this book hence why it took me 2 months to read. I just didn’t find it that amusing or funny.

[Patrice Sartor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read most of this on a flight from CA to NC, and it was a perfect airplane book. I laughed out loud enough times that my kids stopped rolling their eyes at me and just accepted it. While my two boys are teenagers, I remember what being a mom with two young kids is like enough that I found this title very relateable. Knepper writes from the heart, with humor, swearing, truth, and love.

I was touched by the chapter about her relationship with her dad. I understood all the stories about her kids and her husband, and the various challenges with all of them. The only complaint I have is that it went on a bit too long for me. I noticed that my bursts of laughter were mostly in the first half of so of the book, though I still smiled a lot.

Overall, I liked it a lot, and will raise my next glass of wine (that I hopefully won't be drinking alone while sitting on top of the dryer in the laundry room) to the author!

[Kim Bongiorno · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nikki Knepper is a complicated gal.
She's highly educated and works as a mental health professional, yet curses like a drunken sailor and has no issues talking about her friends' vaginas in detail to the general public. Her book has the kind of fun pace that makes you feel her swirling around the room you're in, gesticulating wildly while searching for something her kids keep asking for. Yes, she regularly interrupts herself, but it's just like the many phone conversations I have with my friends who are moms - no point can be made directly, but the swirling route is truly entertaining all the way there, since you know that behind it all is a kind person who would drop everything to help anyone who needed whatever it is she was looking for in the first place.
This is a great book to pass around to your friends who love wine, laughter, cursing, and the realistic chaos of parenthood.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had read a few of Knepper's blog entries and thought they were amusing enough, so when this came up cheap or freebie, I thought I'd give it a whirl. After all, I am a mom who drinks (even tho I shouldn't) and swears (altho I try to keep it to a minimum). That said, Moms Who Drink and Swear in the long-form lacks the charm of the short, Chicago Tribune column version. Each essay goes on and on with plenty of swearing-- so much that it eventually becomes distracting and then annoying-- and plenty of references to boxed wine. Her few sweet moments and good points are lost among the bloviating, which the forward of the book prepares you for. Knepper's writing is mostly an outgrowth of long, ranting emails sent to her BFFs. If I were her BFF I'm sure I would find her hilarious and lovable. I'm not her BFF and I think she needs an editor with an even bigger box of wine.

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was a little disappointed in this book. I have followed this author on Facebook and find her to be quite funny. Unfortunately I didn't see much humor in this book. With the exception of a couple of stories (which did make me laugh out loud) I found this book a bit boring. Don't get me wrong I think Nicole Knepper is probably a helluva person to meet in real life, but a lot of this book was just...unremarkable. Being a mom that does drink (not too much but just enough) and does have the mouth of a sailor (working on swearing a little less), I really think this book presents stories/scenarios that are experienced by most parents. However, I will keep following her on FB and if she publishes again I'll give her another try for sure.

[Cynthia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had such high, high hopes for this book, first I'm a mommy, second I drink and Iastly I swear. A trifecta right there. But man this book was AWFUL. I couldn't even bring myself to finish. Very juvenile, trying too hard and seemed she was throwing a lot of curses and other assorted bad language out there for effect. So disappointing. Really no wonder it was $1.99, that should have been the clue not to proceed.

[Ariel Sage · Rating 1 out of 5]

To be fair, my kid's only two months old so I couldn't relate to a lot of this, but it just wasn't that funny. It was like the loud mouthed person at a party trying to say the most outlandish things to get attention, and you laugh because everyone else is laughing and you think it's sort of funny, but really you just sidle out of the room because it's just not nearly as funny as it thinks it is.... So I stopped reading it.

[Laura Hoffman Brauman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely hilarious! Every mom (at least those that drink and swear -- and really that is most of us if we are honest) -- should read this book. Especially with a glass of wine at the end of a long day. Passing this one along to my sisters.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

OMG! One has to be careful while reading this. There is the danger of snorting your drink out your nose ... as you choke on laughter at some of these things Knepper writes.

This is one of the best impulsive buys I have bought in some time.

[Gwen Menz · Rating 4 out of 5]

For those of us moms who drink too much, swear WAY too much, and do our best to raise our children to be decent people, this book is for you. Parts of this book made me laugh so hard I about peed my pants. Give it a try - you'll relate.

[Leslie Dowling · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm irreverent, potty-mouthed, and survived single motherhood of two girls... and returned this book for a refund. Just didn't appreciate the author's writing style or sense of humor.

[Cameron Udall · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved the name of this book, because frankly, I can relate. Unfortunately, the title is the best thing about this book.

[Tricia Lawrence · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best $1.99 I have ever spent. I laughed all the way through.

[Karen Hufman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wow, I can't believe I've had this on Goodreads for 2 years. I kind of, sort of, misplaced the book for the majority of that time, but I also didn't make much of an effort to find out where it was. I just think that I'm not the right audience for it. The author is not kidding about the fact that she likes to drink and swear, I never thought I had an issue with cursing, until I read this. The f-bombs were a little too frequent for me and the issues she had with her kids were not things things that I could relate to. I'm sure she's a great mom, we just approach parenting differently.

[Trisha Doucet · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I waited too long to read this book. I've owned it for a few years.

Anyway, my point being, I'm a little ways out from little ones. So, while I wanted to love this book, instead I just liked it. I laughed out loud a few times. But I think I would have appreciated it more when my kids were still elementary age.

I did have a hard time with the flow of the book. It seemed off.

But if you have littles, I think you'll laugh. And nod your head in commiseration.

[Amy the book-bat · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was supposed to be humor, but I don't think throwing in profanity every couple words is humorous. I don't mind some profanity, but I don't like it being used as a crutch for lack of humor. There were one or two moments that were slightly funny. Overall, I was bored and disappointed.
I also didn't like how she called her kids derogatory names.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably more like 3.5 stars, but I tend to round up. I would suggest not reading this all at once. Since each “chapter” is a different story, it’s hard to not have anything else to read to break up the monotony. Could def relate to most of the stories!!

[andrea sbordone · Rating 4 out of 5]

I laughed so many times while reading this book. Besides Nicole being so witty and hilarious, her son Zach won my heart with his imaginary friend Nick. OMG!!! If anyone wants to laugh out loud and has an open mind, read this book...

[Madison Downey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very relatable to mom's everywhere. I found myself completely relating to the author's mom struggles on more than one occassion. The book is little repetitive and the author seems to ramble a bit, but overall a great read.